"Assignments" for Potlucks and Bake Sales - Are others seeing this, too?

[Jenny in Florida]

Clearly, in the grand scheme of the world, this is not a big issue. And I freely admit that I'm unusually cranky at the moment and ready to get irritable about stupid stuff. However, I'm curious if this is a trend.

 

We got an e-mail from some of the moms on my son's dance competition team letting me know "we" are hosting a bake sale during a studio event this Saturday. It's a fund-raiser to help team members with the costs of attending competitions, and I'm all for it. We got notified after the planning was done, because my son missed a week of class while prepping to open a show elsewhere. So far, so good. But the note also said that, if we wish to participate, we are to contribute four dozen oatmeal cookies, bagged in twos or threes.

 

I kind of figured we got assigned a specific baked good because we were last in the pool, and that's what was left on the list. No biggie. I can do that, but I did have a moment of being taken aback just a teeny bit at being instructed thus.

 

Separately, my son's choir is preparing for their annual Christmas performance. The parents always host a reception afterward for attendees. It's a big event, attracting as many as 200 - 300 people, and the struggle in past years has always been to encourage families to bring enough food to feed the crowd. This year, we got our usual e-mail reminding us about our responsibility to bring "two VERY GENEROUS platters of food" and assigning us our jobs for the event. Just a few minutes later, we got a "wait, hold up" e-mail letting us know that the coordinators would be telling us by today what dishes each of us would be expected to bring.

 

My hackles went up immediately, for a variety of reasons. First, doesn't this seem like the sort of thing that should have been discussed and agreed on by more than the two or three moms coordinating this thing? I've had kids in this choir for seven or eight years, and this is the first time it's been done this way. Second, I immediately anticipated we'd get assigned to bring something that wouldn't fit our family's dietary practices. (We're ethical vegans.) And I started dreading having to ask for an exemption. I just can't stand one more drop of drama in my life at the moment.

 

As it turns out, we got assigned to "categories," instead of specific dishes, and we happened to be assigned (based on the first letter of our last name) to bring a fruit or veggie dish or tray. Which should have made me feel relieved, but instead irked me. I actually look forward to cooking and/or baking for this event and go out of my way each year to make something special. I also take into account that our contribution will likely be the only thing on the tables that my own family will be able to eat and, therefore, make something I know mine (especially my son, who will have been there rehearsing and singing for several hours before the reception) will appreciate. I've already been pondering ideas for a few weeks, knowing this was coming up, and now, I've been told I get to bring a veggie tray. It just takes all the wind out of my sails, you know?

 

Plus, instead of my dish now doing "double duty" by being our contribution AND feeding my own family, I'll have to prepare, pack and bring along something separate for at least my son, since nibbling on a veggie tray isn't going to do much for a hungry 14 -year-old guy.

 

As I said, small stuff. And I'm perfectly aware I'm reacting badly for a whole bunch of personal, emotional reasons. But is this something you all are seeing, too? This kind of control and specificity in community, potluck events?

[Carrie12345]

Honestly, I'm not seeing it, but I would like to in some form. I have now designated myself the veggie plate person b/c I'm sick of showing up to pot lucks that are entirely made up of baked pastas!

 

Edited to change pot licks to pot lucks, lol.

[Jenny in Florida]

Honestly, I'm not seeing it, but I would like to in some form. I have now designated myself the veggie plate person b/c I'm sick of showing up to pot lucks that are entirely made up of baked pastas!

 

Edited to change pot licks to pot lucks, lol.

 

Here's the thing: I've definitely seen sign-up sheets, which is how my husband's office does potlucks. The coordinator sends out an e-mail listing categories of foods and the number of people asked to bring each kind of thing. Everyone signs up for whatever they want, and they end up with a nice variety of foods.

 

I'm completely comfortable with that approach.

 

It's being told what to "volunteer" that bugs me, I think.

[BigMamaBird]

I've been to large, potluck gatherings where I've been told "People with the last name A-L bring a side dish, M-Z bring a dessert." I think that's just to keep it balanced. I would be annoyed too if I were "assigned" something that I didn't agree to. Ask me, and I'll be perfectly happy to help, but don't simply assume.

[Annie G]

For the bake sale, it would bother me less if they told me they already had enough chocolate chip cookies and could I make something different- like oatmeal.

 

For the potluck, they might have been trying to accommodate your dietary needs but could have asked what you'd like to bring. I'd probably email back saying that you'll bring a veggie tray but also tell them you'll be bringing something else.

 

I'm not seeing that trend here- we do potlucks and the stuff that shows up runs from fabulous homemade food to a bag of Oreo cookies picked up on the way. It's too much work to assign certain foods- we're lazy potluckers.

[LaxMom]

We've generally gone by categories: N slots for main dish, X sides, Y salads, desserts, and so forth, but people have always signed up for each slot and said what they intended to bring. It was helpful so people could contribute according to their budget, preferences, specialties... And we didn't end up with 12 baked pastas.

 

I can't imagine assigning people specific categories, let alone specific baked goods. That seems so presumptuous, unless you're asked to bring something that is a particular favorite that you've contributed in the past.

[Jenny in Florida]

I've been to large, potluck gatherings where I've been told "People with the last name A-L bring a side dish, M-Z bring a dessert." I think that's just to keep it balanced. I would be annoyed too if I were "assigned" something that I didn't agree to. Ask me, and I'll be perfectly happy to help, but don't simply assume.

 

Right. I would be okay with that approach, too. Honestly, in the past I've often brought more than our alloted contribution, just because I felt inspired to make more than one thing. So, if I were put down for a side dish, I would bring my two "generous" dishes of that and also a couple of platters of a dessert, for example.

 

One year, I was in the kitchen cooking and baking up a storm, and my husband wandered through and suggested I might be over-doing things just a bit, since I was only required to bring one thing. I forged ahead, and he told me afterward it was a good thing I did, because there really hadn't been enough food available, and guests had appreciated the "extra" dishes I made.

 

This kind of controlled approach, though, quashes any desire I have to go above and beyond.

[Julie in CA]

Yep. i'm seeing it, and I really look at it as a reaction to a society that has many people in the workforce, and not so many at home taking care of domestic details.

 

I have been in the place of having to explain the finer points of potlucks, etc, to people, and it's not fun. My sister-in-law, for example, will bring a potluck dish that consists of one can of corn. That's it. One can of corn. I've had to explain that it's not enough to bring what amounts to one side dish serving for 5 people to a potluck, because when you think about it, your family alone is going to put more food than that on their plates. Where will that come from if everyone only brings enough of one item to serve their own family, and not any extra to cover the food that they're going to fill their plates with? She just doesn't get it, and it's not about financial hardship for them. She's just really out of touch with the traditional potluck experience. it was something her grandma knew, but somehow got lost in current generations.

 

I know not everyone does that, but it's happening more and more frequently (probably as the economic woes persist, and as generationally we move farther away from traditional homemaking as a lifestyle, but I digress).

 

I don't like being specific about what people bring, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to get people to be, if not generous, at least not overly-miserly.

 

With that said, I *hate* it when someone tells me what to bring! I can be counted on to bring more than my fair share, and to bring whatever I think will be most needed or enjoyed, not just whatever canned good I have in my pantry that my family didn't care for. I understand though, why organizers are seeming to be overly controlling about such things. :glare:

[Carrie12345]

 

 

Here's the thing: I've definitely seen sign-up sheets, which is how my husband's office does potlucks. The coordinator sends out an e-mail listing categories of foods and the number of people asked to bring each kind of thing. Everyone signs up for whatever they want, and they end up with a nice variety of foods.

 

I'm completely comfortable with that approach.

 

It's being told what to "volunteer" that bugs me, I think.

 

I definitely understand that annoyance. What I've seen from many of my ps friends is that many people completely ignore sign up sheets, and the coordinators are left scrambling. I assume it's a similar situation outside of school activities. The stories I've heard have kept me far away from any pot luck type organizing. I just show up with nice veggies and take a side of goopy pasta, lol.

[cjzimmer1]

A group of us have been running almost monthly bake sales for years. Each of the core members has carved out a niche of things we enjoy making and sell well. We know how to package and price them and people will specifically ask for those items. So when new members join we do try to direct them. For example I make a soft chewing monster cookie. A new mom brought monster cookies that "looked" like mine but were crunchy with a different spice blend. For months after people were questioning who made the monster cookies because they didn't want the crunchy ones. We have another lady who never brings her stuff wrapped. Just an open pan. Which leads to people digging through the pan with their bare unwashed hands looking for the biggest cookies and touching everyone else's food in the process. No matter how many times I've asked this mom to please wrap her stuff, she won't. So now I have to bring something every time to grab the cookies so that people aren't handling the food with bare hands. So yeah, when we have new people we tell them what to bring and how to wrap it. It actually hurts our sales when we let people do whatever and since the point is to raise money to reduce everyone's out of pocket expenses of having our kids participate in this activity we want to maximize our sales.

 

I've never been to a potluck where I was assigned anything that specifically. It would probably bug me too because for where I live, veggie/fruit trays are very expensive to put together this time of year and I may or not have the budget for such an expense at the time it was "commanded". I would be tempted to bring a small veggie tray, maybe just carrots and celery and then bring whatever dish I had originally planned.

[Cinder]

I don't like being specific about what people bring, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to get people to be, if not generous, at least not overly-miserly.

 

I was with a friend when she and her dh were discussing what to order for the newcomers luncheon at their church. I asked why they weren't doing a potluck. I had assumed, the way she talked about all the lovely people at her church, that a potluck would be great fun. Nuh-uh. She said the last couple of luncheons were embarrassing--most families brought a bag of chips. One bag. That's it. So there wasn't enough food to go around.

 

I have not seen more specific assignments (other than the kinds mentioned above) but rather more of a trend toward catering for the main meal and asking people just to bring desserts.

[TechWife]

A reception for attendees after an event doesn't sound like a pot luck to me. It sounds much more formal and lends itself to the possibility of people from outside your organization attending. If I were planning this reception, I would definitely make sure that I had a plan of what food needed to be available and how much needed to be available. I would likely come up with a tentative menu and circulate a list asking people to bring specific things. For example, my list might say:

 

Sign below to indicate which of these items you will be bringing. If appropriate, indicate the name of the dish you will be bringing. Make sure your dish is enough to feed 12 people and remember to bring serving utensils if needed.

 

Need:

two veggie trays with dip

three hot appetizers

two chocolate desserts

two tart desserts

 

Then in another column, people would indicate that they are bringing Swedish Meatballs or Devils Food Cake or whatever. This prevents repeats and ensures that there is a balanced variety available.

 

Having organized many different events, i have learned that it we can better meet the needs of the people attending if we are very specific as to what we need people to provide. There have been occasions where people have contacted me and said "Can I do xyz instead?" and sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes no. For example, bringing your chicken enchiladas to an Italian night dinner doesn't work, but if you want to bring bread instead of salad, we just might be able to make that swap.

 

Above all, remember that the people organizing these things are volunteers and they are making a variety of decisions based upon the specific situation and their experience. There is usually a good reason for any decisions and requests that they are making. As far as having more than two or three moms making the decisions, I respectfully say, no, that is not wise. The more people that are involved in the decision making process the harder it is to reach consensus. If you're interested in working on these types of things, be sure to indicate your willingness to volunteer in the future.

[justasque]

Here's the thing - if you do a "choice" or signup, then you have to correspond with or contact each and every family involved. This will often involve multiple emails for clarification, etc. It's a heck of a lot of work for the organizer. If you do the A-E bring 2 bottles of juice thing, it is much, much easier on the organizer. Usually if it's a repeated event, they will rotate through the alphabet and the food categories.

 

That said, you can always swap with someone! There's sure to be someone in the opposite pair of shoes! Or, in your case, it would make a whole lot of sense to contact the organizer and mention that you eat vegan (or say vegetarian so you don't have to explain it) and that you'd like to make a dish that would satisfy vegetarians and many others who have specific dietary needs (dairy-free, etc.). They may be thrilled to have that taken care of. (I always make a low-sugar, low-fat option when I'm in the "dessert" category. Few people choose it, but those who do are very, very happy.)

[Parrothead]

 

 

Separately, my son's choir is preparing for their annual Christmas performance. The parents always host a reception afterward for attendees. It's a big event, attracting as many as 200 - 300 people, and the struggle in past years has always been to encourage families to bring enough food to feed the crowd. This year, we got our usual e-mail reminding us about our responsibility to bring "two VERY GENEROUS platters of food" and assigning us our jobs for the event. Just a few minutes later, we got a "wait, hold up" e-mail letting us know that the coordinators would be telling us by today what dishes each of us would be expected to bring.

The cookies are one thing. They usually sell like that and who doesn't like oatmeal. But this one is nuts. I'd be telling the coordinators where they could stuff their two very generous platters of food.

 

 

Plus, instead of my dish now doing "double duty" by being our contribution AND feeding my own family, I'll have to prepare, pack and bring along something separate for at least my son, since nibbling on a veggie tray isn't going to do much for a hungry 14 -year-old guy.

I'd reply back that the assignment won't work for your family.

[LostSurprise]

I've seen it both ways. It really depends on the community and whether they have an internalized potluck etiquette or a good rate of volunteering. In places where things get out of whack the policies get more structured. There's nothing wrong with that. Its usually not intended to bully or offend, just make things run smoother.

 

I have no problem with assignments. Assignments are meant to save people grief and make sure there is a variety of things available. If it irks you, make your assigned dish and then make whatever you want to add to it. No one ever complains about too much food at a bake sale or potluck. If you can't do it email them and let them know.

 

I'm sure you'll be at the next planning meeting for this stuff so you have greater control over your destiny. ;) Hopefully this won't happen again.

[Annie G]

Techwife, your post makes sense. I somehow missed it was a reception for attendees- I was thinking more along the lines of feeding the kids and families after a long event. For a reception, I would assume cheap finger foods- cookies, slices of quick breads, etc. Not things that would really feed hungry teens.

[elegantlion]

Yes, I'd be irked at being told what to bring. Right now we're not involved in anything that requires bringing food, which I am eternally grateful. I'm not a good cook, I don't like to cook, and generally I stick to the easy categories for everyone's sake. I wouldn't mind being asked to pick a category and have a limit placed on how many people can bring a dish from each, but to be dictated to would not sit well with me.

[plansrme]

I can beat that, you know, 'cause everything is a contest: I was once assigned brownies, to be made according to the "cake-like" instructions on the box, as opposed to the "fudgy" instructions. We are not involved with that control freak of a classical school any more.

 

Terri

[MrsJewelsRae]

Yup, one of my pet peeves. It's not a pot luck, that's an organized dinner. But I do see the other side because you don't want to end up with 12 pasta casseroles or all desserts, etc. our old church was in a big city and we never had to do organized meals for potlucks- most people would bring a dish from their background- trying to keep it from being too... Interesting. ;). At dh's church when I moved here, it's in a small town and everyone here is pretty much Canadian for generations. There are a few older women who run the show when it comes to food. We were told what to bring and how much, my mil would call me and ask me to being broccoli casserole or cooked carrots. That is not a potluck. They were so hyper organized it took all the fun and creativity out of what a "potluck" should be. We don't usually have an issue with people being too stingy. As a few of us younger women matured and found out footing in the church we've been able to getvthevolder ladies to loosen up a bit. We now have a sign up sheet. So you can sign up for one of the following categories- meat, pasta/potato/rice dish, cooked vegetable dish, fruit, dessert, breads, chips, drinks. We don't usually have a problem with it this way. Although, if you don't sign up early you will be left with something you may have preferred not to bring, but more variety is always welcome I say. So if rolls are needed but you really wanted to show off your new truffle recipe and all the dessert spots are taken, just bring them anyways, and the rolls if you can.

[Stayseeliz]

When I used to run the parties for our local homeschool group and it worked out fine to just tell people to bring a main dish and something sweet. Then the bigger families started bringing less and less. Like a couple bags of chips, etc. It was crazy. So we started making a list of things people could bring and asked people to sign up. That worked a little better but some people didn't try. At one big event a family with seven kids and lots of other family in tow brought 6 gallons of sweet tea. That's it. We asked them to bring enough to feed themselves and the rest of the family they were bringing. So I don't really see an issue with assigning certain things. It keeps the lazy people from getting away with being lazy and keeps the people who try hard from having to carry those who don't.

[vonfirmath]

When I was growing up, a potluck was "Bring enough to feed your family +1" -- ie main dish, side dish, everything

 

With sign up potlucks, BONUS! You only have to bring one dish.

 

But most people don't seem to know a potluck involves bringing more than 1 dish if you are a family!

[kewb]

I would find it irksome but having been part of a few potlucks in my time it does make it easier when people sign up for different categories. I stopped participating because people were being very miserly with what they were bringing. It upped my frustration level and my expenses trying to make up for those who were not bringing enough.

[Mrs Mungo]

I've been to large, potluck gatherings where I've been told "People with the last name A-L bring a side dish, M-Z bring a dessert." I think that's just to keep it balanced. I would be annoyed too if I were "assigned" something that I didn't agree to. Ask me, and I'll be perfectly happy to help, but don't simply assume.

 

Almost *all* potlucks I've attended have assignments like this. Have you attended potlucks with nothing but chips or nothing but desserts? Not fun. We attended a party a while back with about a million cupcakes and nothing else. I am fine general with assignments to keep it balanced, and I also agree with the other poster who suggested swapping with someone in another category, I think that's fine.

[Jenny in Florida]

I would likely come up with a tentative menu and circulate a list asking people to bring specific things. For example, my list might say: Sign below to indicate which of these items you will be bringing. If appropriate, indicate the name of the dish you will be bringing. Make sure your dish is enough to feed 12 people and remember to bring serving utensils if needed. Need: two veggie trays with dip three hot appetizers two chocolate desserts two tart desserts Then in another column, people would indicate that they are bringing Swedish Meatballs or Devils Food Cake or whatever.

 

Right. This is pretty much the approach I mentioned my husband's office group takes. And I think it's a good one. That way, folks have the opportunity to sign up to do what they do best or what they can manage at that second in time. But the organizers still ensure an appropriate variety of foods. A win for everyone!

 

Above all, remember that the people organizing these things are volunteers and they are making a variety of decisions based upon the specific situation and their experience. There is usually a good reason for any decisions and requests that they are making. As far as having more than two or three moms making the decisions, I respectfully say, no, that is not wise. The more people that are involved in the decision making process the harder it is to reach consensus. If you're interested in working on these types of things, be sure to indicate your willingness to volunteer in the future.

 

Again, one or the other of my kids has been with this organization for (without taking the time to count) about eight years. I'm well aware of how it works.

 

One way that it works is that we have four parent meetings a year, at which the schedule of events, changes to wardrobe, anything like that is discussed, or at least announced. I'm trying to wrap my brain around the idea that, at the busiest time of the year not only for the choir but for many families, the two moms organizing events for the year decided to change the policy/practice midstream. Anyone who has already done their grocery shopping has likely already made a plan.

 

If you're interested in working on these types of things, be sure to indicate your willingness to volunteer in the future.

 

I'm sure you'll be at the next planning meeting for this stuff so you have greater control over your destiny. ;) Hopefully this won't happen again.

 

Sure, except that these jobs are taken on a year-long basis, planning meetings often happen over coffee whenever the moms in charge feel like it, and no one wants me in charge of this stuff, because I'm the weird vegan. (Yes, I know that.)

 

For what it's worth, we all have jobs for events. It's not like these ladies do all the work and the rest of us are freeloading. Of course, the jobs we have are the ones they assign to us . . .

 

Techwife, your post makes sense. I somehow missed it was a reception for attendees- I was thinking more along the lines of feeding the kids and families after a long event. For a reception, I would assume cheap finger foods- cookies, slices of quick breads, etc. Not things that would really feed hungry teens.

 

Here's the schedule:

 

The kids come in at 4:00 and do just under two hours of warm-ups and rehearsal. They dress and then sing for anywhere between one and two hours, finishing sometime between 7:00 and 8:00. Over the years, we've experimented with trying to feed them in between rehearsal and singing, but the choir directors invariably keep them rehearsing until it's too late for them to eat. Also, there is a long list of things they are not allowed to eat before performing (chocolate, dairy, etc.). So, it is preferred that they wait until afterward. Having been on their feet for three or more hours, and having sung straight through dinner time, those kids are hungry.

 

These receptions have traditionally not been of the type you are describing, but are meal-type buffets. Since the actual event begins right at dinner time and lasts a while, even the guests grumble if all we have available is finger foods and desserts.

[Elizabeth in MN]

Assigning general foodstuff is really the only way you can get a variety of foods when you have a large gathering. Back in the 80s I was a member of a church that would have a quarterly potluck for the whole church. We had three Sunday services that we full to the brim. The potlucks easily had over 500 attendees. Everyone was assigned what to bring via the alphabet assignments i.e. A-G brought appetizers, H-M brought main dishes, so on and so forth. The church provided the meat, normally a ham or roast type deal. It sounds like it's lazy but it's really hard work to make sure that the letters are a good selection of the population of the church. The church I went to had a huge Irish populations so the letters M and O could not be in the same food category or else easily half the church brought the same dish.

 

I used this system at the church I currently attend when I was activities director. There was a lot of complaining until the day of the potluck. Some women went out of their way to bring one small thing of what they were assigned and several HUGE servings of what they wanted to bring. On the day of the potluck they all saw their favorite foods, in plentiful amounts, and a wide varsity of foods to eat. The huge servings that weren't assigned went to waste because there were already servings of that food (Jello based dishes. Really, who makes jello in a large fridge drawer?). Everyone was very happy with the spread and amazed that they were happy. A few people said it was the best potluck they had ever been to, which is saying something for LDS folks!

[In The Great White North]

I can beat that, you know, 'cause everything is a contest: I was once assigned brownies, to be made according to the "cake-like" instructions on the box, as opposed to the "fudgy" instructions. We are not involved with that control freak of a classical school any more.

 

Potluck control is not new. Our winner was a previous school too, 15 years ago. They listed ingredients for the soup (assigned to all 1st grade families) for the Fall Fair, including some I haved never heard of.

 

At the first grade potluck, people brought so little that half the class and none of the parents got to eat!

[happyhomemaker]

I guess I'm a lot more laid back than I thought because neither of those situations would upset me at all. It's also no big deal to me to say that I need to bring x dish due to the dietary restrictions of my family and ask to switch with someone. I guarantee the coordinators are anticipating that there will be some people who need to switch. It's still much easier for them to facilitate that than to wonder how much and what kind of food will show up to the event.

 

The cookie thing does seem a little odd to me. I've never been asked to bring a specific type of cookie, but it would not be a big enough deal to me to get worked up about. Now, if they had asked for some fancy, hard to make cookies, I might feel differently. But run-of-the-mill oatmeal? Nope, not a big deal.

[bettyandbob]

I like "sign up genius" for these events. People are told to register. They pick the items from the list and bring them. The coordinators just list the type and amount of dishes needed. Say the event wants a lot of watermelons, you can have 12 slots for watermelons. The sign up can be general (entree large enough for 12 servings) with 5 slots or specifics bucket of fried chicken (5 slots). If you think an entree is harder to provide than the watermelons you could make one watermelon slot state that the person is signing up to bring 2 or 4 melons already cut. Etc, etc.

 

 

If it's a mandatory contribution, the coordinators can remind people of this and say if you opt out your family will be assessed $XX. This should be large enough so most people will go to the trouble figur ing out how to contribute. Probably at least $30, maybe more. Where I live if you are much below $50 people just write checks. On the day of the event, one coordinator can check in the dishes to make sure no one is skipping out.

 

And then for those of us with dietary restrictions who sometimes find it hard to fit it in with the requested donations, you could call. Recently, I called the coordinator of the honor roll breakfast reception of dd's school. She'd never heard of celiac, but I sent in gf donuts and she set up a separate table to avoid cross contamination and kids were happy to find something they could eat.

 

Anyway, I think a tool like "sign up genius" takes away the coordinators assigning what to bring while still making sure the event doesn't start with ten bags of chips 30 liters of soda and one lasagna.

[Rivka]

_{Our church potlucks usually have a nice range of foods, although my husband would complain that there are too many vegetarian offerings and not enough meat. One year, though, the Christmas Eve potluck ran out of food. By the time my husband got to the front of the line, they were out of dinner food and setting out desserts. Ever since then my family has brought a big ham, and ever since that same year another family has brought a big turkey. Now everything is fine again.}

 

_{For the Halloween party/potluck, we were driven to distraction getting ready for Hurricane Sandy, and I just cleared all of the frozen biscuits out of our freezer and brought a big basket of hot biscuits, with butter and jam. I was embarrassed, but the biscuits were a huge hit! I think there's often a shortage of plain foods that little kids like to eat among all of the casseroles, salads, dishes, etc. So a simple thing like plain baked ham or plain buttermilk biscuits can be a big relief to parents.}

[Joshin]

Bake sales around here always have always been assigned so there was a good mix of things. Usually a signup sheet is available, but sometimes not. It's just the culture here, I guess. I've never really thought about it. No one has ever had an issue if someone requests to bring something else instead.

 

Potlucks are also usually loosely assigned. These people bring pasta, these bring vegetable sides, these starch sides, and these desserts. I couldn't imagine they would work otherwise. Everyone would brings chips, storebought bags of rolls or storebought cookies if left to their own devices. We never have specific dishes assigned, though. It makes sense to me to provide loose assignments. Growing up I hated potlucks because everyone tended to bring the same thing and it was always something I didn't like!

 

Themed potlucks are popular around here. These have more specific assignments (example: two people bring tomato-based pasta, two people bring cream based pasta for an Italian potluck). The international potluck is also popular, with each person assigned a specific country, but not a specific dish.

 

Even at assigned potlucks, I've never run into any problems changing an assignment at someone's request.

[Audrey]

I refuse to participate in pot lucks that are not really pot lucks. Pot luck is what pot luck brings. Period. If there are 50 trays of carrots and dip, that is what you get. If there are 25 bowls of trifle and 25 3-bean salads, that is what you get. If you wanted something different, you should bring something different. Themes are fine -- bring a Mexican dish, or bring a green dish. It is a simple thing, the pot luck. Bring a pot of food. Eat the pots of food. It doesn't need a chart, assignments and repeated reminders.

 

I detest the micromanagement of simple fun, and fight it with every fibre of my being.

[Ottakee]

Our church has potlucks several times a year. The general guidelines is a main dish and a salad OR dessert. That tends to work out quite well. Those of us who can try to bring bigger servings or many 3 dishes to make up for those who are elderly, etc. who can't bring much.

[Starr]

If they give assignments how can we all bring cupcakes? :svengo:

[Tammi K]

How about saying: "Kiddo has some food issues so I don't cook/bake with (insert offending ingredient here) but I enjoy making XXX so I'll plan on bringing that. Can you make the change or would you let me know who I can inform? Thanks."

[Desert Rat]

My youth group in the 1980's assigned categories for all functions. It went by the last initial of your last name and rotated. The main meat was provided.

 

I guess I never second guessed it because I was kid and that's the way it was. I'll have to ask if my mom thought it was weird.

 

Our taekwondo banquet has a sign-up sheet divided into categories so you can see what everyone else is bringing. I like that idea.

 

As for being told exactly what to bring, well, that's weird. I've only heard of that one time. My great aunt was putting together a family reunion. It's a huge family, with 60 first cousins alone. So, she handed everyone a recipe card. This was in the 70's. That recipe is still a family favorite and is made at every single holiday. My boys request it for the birthdays, too. It's a variation on a jello dish, if anyone is curious. :)

[Word Nerd]

It would definitely irritate me to be told exactly what to bring to a bake sale beyond a general category or the number of items. Talk about micromanagement!

 

Most of the groups I've been in have had at least loose assignments for potlucks. At work it's a real potluck when we have holiday ones, but we still usually end up talking about what we're bringing before that day.

[KungFuPanda]

I skipped to the end but . . .

 

Relax. Bring what you WANT to bring. They NEVER check. It's not like they take pre-orders for bake sale cookies. Anything you bring will sell better than oatmeal cookies. Also, just translate "veggie platter" to "any vegan thing my family wants for dinner."

 

NOBODY will stop you, check your dish, and insist you leave and return with the correct one. Ain't nobody got time fo dat.

[Farrar]

I have seen it more but it doesn't really bother me much. I mean, how many potlucks have you been to where everyone brought a variation of the same thing? I hate those. I think a lot of people are just relieved to have an assignment as are irked to have one. I do like it more when it's very general though. I wonder if there's a way to phrase it to be more open. I think if I was organizing something where I was trying to get people to bring more variety, I might put in a note saying something like, Of course, this is just a suggestion to try and get a more balanced selection. If you have a passion to bring something else or need to because of dietary restrictions, then please do.

[Unicorn.]

I'm seeing it, but I'm ignoring it. I bring what I want to bring, especially w/ a kid w/ specific dietary needs. I always get assigned a veggie at our annual swim team banquet, but I bring banana pudding. It's expected and requested by several people, and if you don't get there first, you are out of luck. I say take what you were originally planning on taking.