Bedtimes for pre-teens and teens?

[mamakelly]

If you have preteens and or teens and they have an actually have a bedtime, I'm curious what it is. We are re-evaluating bedtimes and I was wondering what the norm was. :bigear:

[Parrothead]

I'm trying to get my almost 13-year old 8th grader to bed by 9:30. She is having a hard time getting up by 7:30. She has always been a sleeper.

[BakersDozen]

Weekdays it is lights out by 9:30 (15 minutes earlier if dc do not get up on time the next morning).

[Jean in Newcastle]

10 pm, though sometimes with talking together at bedtime etc. it can go until 10:30.

[IsabelC]

Sorry, just remembered my kids aren't teens yet lol

[GWOB]

Our 12yo is in bed by 9:30. She has the option to read until around 10:00. However, this kid is a freakishly early riser. Seriously. She should not expect a real conversation from me at 7:30am until I have been sufficiently caffeinated.

[Tammi K]

Auhhhh, it's 11:57 and I think my 11 and 14 year old might be getting ready for bed.

If so, it's the earliest they've gone to bed in ages. (But, we're night owls and DD was visiting so we're in vacation mode.)

 

But, even when we're in 'real world' mode, they are still frequently up till midnight. DS11 gets up before me almost every morning and DD14 needs a cattle prod to move her no matter what time she goes to bed.:D As long as they are ready to start working by 9:00 am, I'm okay with whatever bedtime they choose.

[Tabrett]

When my dd was at home, 11pm (age 13-15). But she went off to a boarding arts school school at 16 and her school had quiet time from 9-10pm. Sometimes they had hall meetings at 10pm. I think they had to be in their rooms at 11pm on school nights. Her classes there started at 8am.

 

There is a big difference between pre-teen and teen when it comes to bedtime. When she was 10-12 she went to bed around 9:30-10pm and got up at 8:30.

[Hoot]

In bed by 8ish and lights out by 9. He will usually read, write, draw or listen to an audiobook until 9. He is a very early riser though so that plays a big part in him getting to bed so early.

[elegantlion]

11pm for ds. He's a night owl. We also don't start school until 10 am.

 

I had hoped to make it 10:30 this year, but I'm in bed by 10 always and dh is already asleep. He'd stay up anyway. As long as he gets up when necessary, I'm okay with a later bedtime.

Edited August 29, 2012 by elegantlion

[Lolly]

My kids don't actually have a bedtime. They do have a start school time and a get to swim practice time. As long as they can manage those, I don't care how late they stay up.

[marbel]

We aim for 9:30 but it ends up being around 10 - 10:30.

 

And then my daughter usually lies awake for 30 - 60 minutes (at least) because she simply can't sleep. She is not an early riser, but getting her to bed early doesn't help, because she doesn't sleep anyway.

 

So we're still looking for her sweet spot.

[KungFuPanda]

My teen regulates her own bedtime. When she was homeschooled, she went to bed late . . . around midnight. We're night owls and generally start school between 9 and 10 a.m.

 

Once she began high school, she just put herself to bed earlier; by 10 p.m. She's had a lifetime of always getting enough sleep, so I don't think it ever occurred to her to attempt school with less than 8 hours. During the weekend, there's usually one night where she'll sleep for 11 hours.

[Pawz4me]

My kids don't actually have a bedtime. They do have a start school time and a get to swim practice time. As long as they can manage those, I don't care how late they stay up.

 

We're pretty much the same.

 

13-yo homeschooled DS usually goes to bed around 11:00 (except sometimes he stays up to watch Jon Stewart). He gets up around 8:30.

 

16-yo DS in public school tries to go to bed between 10:00 and 10:30. He has to get up around 6:15.

[amy g.]

My 18 year old and my 13 year old go to bed at 9:00. They each read to one of the youngest girls at that time.

 

My son, on the other hand is often still awake when I get up in the mornings.

[Murphy101]

We are up every morning by 6:30, so it's lights out at 10 pm here.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I followed what my mother did. When you are going into 6th grade (or there-about as obviously it somewhat depends upon the child), you are responsible for your own bedtime. HOwever, you need to be able to get up at the time necessary to start life when life or I deem necessary (school starts at ___; chores done by ____). If you struggle, I can help you. If you pick extremes, I can pick and ultimate "go to bed" time.

 

I would *rather* kids self-manage this though. It was easy with my daughter. My son had periods of struggling. We'll see how the littles do when it is their turn.

[HayesW]

In my house, all the children go to bed at 8pm. My girls, 11 and 13, read and turn off their own lights when they are finished. 11 year old is usually out by 8:30, and so is my 13 year old. There are nights when someone is reading a very interesting book or just can't sleep. Wake up is t 6:30.

[lynn]

My teens set their own bedtimes if they don't keep anyone else up and they can wake up on time without being grumpy in the morning. My 12 year old has a by 9P bedtime he is a bear in the morning if he does not get enough sleep. It has been a nonissue all these years.

[jessicalb]

Alex has to be in his room by 9:30 or so. Sometimes it is as late as 10:30 or 11 but that's way later than normal.

 

I don't insist he sleep. I don't have any investment in when he chooses to sleep or not. I just want some grownup time in the evenings, if for nothing else than a simple conversation without 5 minutes of Why This Topic Relates to Minecraft or DragonBallZ from the child who never stops talking.

 

We start school when both of us are awake and ready. Between 6 and 11ish, depending on the day.

[Laura Corin]

Hobbes goes to bed at 8.30 on weeknights and 9 at weekends. Calvin goes to bed at 9.30 on weeknights and around the same time we do at weekends. Calvin often reads in bed after his official bedtime; Hobbes is meant to go to sleep.

 

Laura

[Chris in VA]

Dd has stayed up late all summer. But this week, with school looming on Tues and a 6am wake-up, we are telling her to go to bed around 9:30. We will be pushing that back to being ready for bed at 8:30, in bed by 9:15.

It takes her a while to brush her teeth (braces), so what starts at 9 usually finishes by 9:30, and I fear she's going to be really tired.

 

My homeschooled son would go to bed by 10 or 10:30 and start homeschool by 9 or so (a little earlier, as he did devotions beforehand in his room).

[Night Elf]

Ours is tied to wake-up times. Dd14 needs at least 8 hrs. of sleep and ds16 needs 10. We take their wake up time, back up the number of sleep hours needed and that's their bedtime. Dd14 goes to school and has to wake up at 6:30am so she goes to bed by 10:30pm. Ds16 homeschools and doesn't wake up until 11:30am so he goes to bed at 1:30am.

[sweetTN]

In bed by 9 and lights out by 9:30 on school nights. Weekends are "whenever", as long as they are up at a reasonable time.

[athomemom]

We are still trying to find a balance for this very issue. Last night it was lights out at 10:15. Otherwise, they would stay up until 12...and then I have two grumpies walking around. It's 7:30 am here and both boys are still asleep.

[Mommyof4ks]

Lights out at 9:39 on weekdays. Weekends she has no bedtime, but she is expected to get up and go to church even if she is tired. She is getting better at self regulating.

[Karen in CO]

My 11yo needs to be up and dressed by 6:30am. I send her towards bed at 9pm if she isn't already headed in that direction. She's responsible for her own lights and morning alarms.

[bobbeym]

Our teens don't have a set bedtime, except for the rule that they're not allowed to stay up later than we do.

 

DH would like DS14 to go to bed at 10p but since he's always been a weird sleeper I don't push it. As long as he can get up and get started on schooling at a decent time of day, I'm fine with it.

 

DS18 and DIL's bedtimes depend on whatever they have going on in the morning.

[k2bdeutmeyer]

Didn't read all the replies, but we aim to have DD (12.5yr) in bed by 9:00 or she won't get up in the morning and is grouchy all day.

[HappyGrace]

Wow, we are in the minority---dd12 (13 in Dec) goes to bed at 8 p.m. and gets up around 7 or 7:30.

 

She was not a big sleeper as a baby/toddler either! But since about age 6, the above has been her sleep schedule.

[regentrude]

My kids have been choosing their own bedtime since they were early elementary age. As long as they are up for the beginning of school at 8am (or leaving the house at 7:30am for outside classes, properly dressed and having eaten breakfast) I do not impose a bedtime.

DD usually goes to be between 11pm and midnight (but sometimes stays up way past this), DS between 10:30pm and 11pm.

If we have issues in the morning or the kids are noticeably tired, I will enforce an 11pm bedtime for DD.

[razorbackmama]

Bedtime is 9:00 for all kids, including my 2 teens and 12yo. My 15yo usually will stay awake until 9:30/10:00 though.

[fairfarmhand]

my 14 yo goes to bed between 8:30-9, and is up at 5:50.

 

My 10 yo. goes to bed around 8:30 and is up around 6:30.

[AK_Mom4]

Both my kids at home (DS16 and DD11) go to bed at 9pm now that school is in session. DS16 has a music class at 6:30am at the high school and needs to get up at 5:30 to be there on time. Going to bed at 9pm gives him time to wind down before sleep.

 

DD11 doesn't have to be up until 7:30, but she needs more sleep to function.

[somo_chickenlady]

Normally, he needs to be ready for bed at 10pm. On the weekends, or when he doesn't have school or something to do the next morning, we may let him stay up later to finish watching a movie or something, though.

[In the Rain]

I send my almost 11yo to her room by 9(ish). She reads until 9:30 or 9:45. She wakes up on her own between 6:30 and 7:30. She always needs reading time to unwind, even if it has to happen after 10.