Poll! Children's Church

[Garga]

My church provides the following during the Sunday morning services:

 

Nursery 6 mos - 2 years.

This is babysitting for the most part.

 

Preschool/K Children's church 3 yrs - kindergarten (5 or 6 yrs old)

The children sing bible songs, there is generous play time, and they have a lesson on simple stories and learn a bible verse.

 

Children's Church 1st grade - 8th grade (6-12 years old)

Sing songs with kids helping to lead the singing, hand motions are done to the songs. Lesson geared toward their age group. No play time.

 

13 on up--sit in the main sanctuary with the adults.

 

Children are not banned from being in the main service, but other than me and about 2 other families, everyone uses Children's Church.

 

We have 2 services and have a total of about 400-500 people show up each week.

 

I read all the time about people in the Hive who say that they keep their kids with them in church. So...where are all those people in my church? Do people avoid my church because they're upset at the idea of Children's Church being offered at all? Or is this just another quirk of homeschoolers, and since most of the families at my church don't homeschool, I should expect to be in the minority?

 

I, personally, think that it's nice when a church offers a nursery through kindergarten class for kids during the service, if parents want it. But once the kids are in 1st grade, I believe it's time to be with the rest of the family.

 

What does the hive think about Children's Church for kids who are about 6 years old to 12 years old?

Edited August 27, 2012 by Garga_

[Dory]

I allow my kids to go to children's church until they are in grade 1. If they have the ability to sit through a grade 1 level lesson, they have the ability to sit still in church. I bring notepads for them though and they are required to draw a picture or write down something from what the pastor says. I know they won't get a lot from the sermons yet at their age, but it's teaching them to try and listen and learn. I also keep a hard candy for each of them on me. I know that I listen better if I have something either in my mouth or in my hands to fiddle with. It eases some of the wiggles.

In some ways I'm hoping that it helps them learn how to listen to a college lecture. By the time they are teenagers they will have learned skills to help them pay attention.

[Chris in VA]

I don't like it. 6 (or even 7) and under, yes, but not older.

 

I DO want them all to come for the Eucharist. We just do CC for the first part of the service, which includes the sermon. Then everyone comes in (parents of 2 and unders can either leave them in the nursery the whole time or come in for the Eucharist--or be in the service the whole time).

 

We are liturgical, so it's different for those who don't have that "natural" split in the service.

 

ETA: The teens (5th grade thru High School) have youth group on Sunday nights and worship is part of it, so they get a chance for more contemporary music and hearing the Word in a way they can relate to, even if the sermon is a little over their heads from time to time.

Edited August 27, 2012 by Chris in VA

[lotsofpumpkins]

I think they need to be in church with their parents.

 

We also started having all the nursery-aged children come to the first half of the service (with their parents) so they can sing the hymns and start getting used to the idea of sitting still in church. :) When it's time for the sermon, the nursery workers for that week take the children (up through age 5) to the nursery. Nursery is completely optional, and no one has a problem if you don't want to use it. If my 22-month-old is being quiet, I just keep him with me.

 

ETA: I voted "other" because we didn't purposely avoid a church with children's church. Dh is the pastor, and this church is the one that he was called to. It just so happens that they don't have cc. If he had been called to a church with cc, I'm thinking either we wouldn't use it, or we would try to change things. It's hard to tell what we would have done.

 

ETA2: Our church does have age-graded Sunday School before the worship service, so it's not like the dc aren't getting lessons geared toward their age group.

Edited August 27, 2012 by lotsofpumpkins

[Kirch]

I kind of had a hard time voting. I chose both #1 and "other." I would prefer to worship as a family, but my dh works on Sundays and can't be at church, and I lead worship, so it's a moot point for us. Our church does have children's church for the first 3 Sundays of the month, and my boys do go when they have it. Our children's director is incredibly gifted in teaching and encouraging kids spiritually, and I do feel blessed that my kids get a chance to sit under her teaching some. Ironically, she agrees with having kids in the worship service and worshiping as a family, but children's church was already in place when she came, so she's working with what she's got. Having them in the service on the fourth Sunday is a good thing, both to help the kids learn and to help the parents (because it was the parents who pushed for children's church, not others saying the kids were a distraction) see that it can work just fine.

 

On 4th Sundays or other days that my boys want to stay in the worship service, MIL is good about keeping an eye on them and stepping in if discipline is needed while I'm leading. Like she did today. ;)

[Shellydon]

Our church has children's classes for each grade (or age for the under Kinder group). I wouldn't attend a church without an active children's program.

[GoVanGogh]

We just joined a new church earlier this year.

Our old church and our new church both offer children's church and we appear to be one of the few at both places that do not use it.

 

In fact, our new church had a back-to-school rally during the regular services today and I was shocked to see nearly 100 kids coming from children's church into the sanctuary for the rally. :001_huh: We have attended this church since last fall and I had no idea there were that many families/children! (Church has three services so I don't have a good feel how many members they have.)

[momto10blessings]

I chose other because our church does not have it, but we do not purposefully avoid it. That is just how our religion does it and if it were available we would not use it because we are so used to having the kids with us during mass

[MrsBanjoClown]

We have cc, but it is broken up a bit differently. We have a preschool group (3-4yo) that is a short story, game, coloring page, and usually a Veggie Tales video. Then we have a K-2 class that is more like another Sunday School class. They have a lesson and discussion. Third to 6th graders have a separate service that is more contemporary music and a message that is geared to their age/level. All cc kids come to the service with their parents and are not dismissed to cc until after the worship portion, just before the preacher starts the sermon.

 

ETA: We also have one Sunday a month that is "family Sunday" in which there is no cc. We do send our kids to cc.

[chepyl]

Our church has children's classes for each grade (or age for the under Kinder group). I wouldn't attend a church without an active children's program.

 

The childrens program was a big part of how we picked a church. It is.more Imprtant to me that my kids are learning Bible lessons they can understand than for them to learn to sit in church and color or draw. The message is service is over the head of my oldest. When je is old enough to understand the sermon and not be bored, he will stau with us.

 

Our church has a great program and the children's classes are where our kids make a lot of their friends.

[6packofun]

I don't expect my younger children who are not in a saving relationship with Christ to "worship with the family", which sounds lofty but really means that they're coloring quietly. How does an unsaved person "worship", regardless of how old they are? I think that by age 9-10, a child can sit through a service and actually gain knowledge, follow along to some degree, though.

 

I also do not allow our unsaved children to take part in communion because I believe the Bible says they should not. Communion is for the body of believers, and until my child has a saving relationship with Christ, taking communion for show is not taking it in a worthy manner, IMO. I will not treat the sacrament that casually.

 

I'd love to be able to send my younger kiddos to a children's church. My 6yo is squirmy and active and I *know* he's not getting anything out of the service yet and he's not yet saved, so I'd send him to learn some things on his level in a heartbeat!

Edited August 27, 2012 by 6packofun
typo

[besroma]

We seek out churches that do not offer services for children separate from the family.

 

We believe in worshipping together as a family.

[OrganicAnn]

My church has it sporadically, depends on if anyone volunteers to run it. We've never used it. I would rather use a cry room or something similar.

 

We are Catholic. Now that my DD has made her first communion, I think she should attend Mass. I can't see it going beyond 2nd grade.

[marbel]

We tend to land in churches that have children's activities separate from the worship service (except for the little ones). So, children's church for up to about age 4 or 5, maybe. Nursery for the littlest. Everyone else in church.

 

Sunday School, youth group, other activities for kids are for making friends.

 

When our kids were little, we were attending a church that did not want kids in the worship service. Over time, we felt pulled away from that church and ended up at a church that had a nursery but no children's church. I was dubious that our kids (then 3 and 4.5 or so) would manage to sit in church but they did, after a few weeks of struggles.

 

And we were surprised at how much they got out of the sermons. They usually couldn't say much about it that day - for example, if we asked a direct question about it - but we'd find that days or even weeks later they'd ask about something the pastor had said. They grew to love it and when they visited friends' churches and went to children's church, they were disgusted at how babyish it was.

 

I guess I'm an "other." ;)

[happyhomemaker25]

I chose other, because it's not that big of a deal to me what others do. We did leave our church with a children's program during the worship service and ended up at a family worship church. Not for that reason, BUT when we saw this church we were interested in encouraged family worship we were all over that. The church we are at now just eliminated CC which was only offered up to like 2nd grade anyway. Our kids have always been with us. It's a lot more than learning to sit quietly and color. My kids get a lot out of the service, even the ones who have not yet been saved. My 6yo boy who does doodle during the service can also sit at our family lunch table and participate in the conversation about the sermon on Sunday afternoons. My DH takes notes and my older kids do as well. During lunch we discuss and my 6yo has piped up with some great questions. I don't have a problem with kids going to CC though, it's just not what we choose to do.

Oh, our unsaved children do not participate in communion either. They understand that is only for believers. They've asked questions and we've explained it.

[mytwomonkeys]

we have something for babies through 5th grade and i love it. 6th grade and up are encouraged to serve one hour and attend service one hour (we have 3 services). my 5th grader goes to her small group at 9:30 while i serve with the 2 year olds & then she attends church with me afterward. she really enjoys both. next year instead of small group she will serve & then attend church. my son attends his small group and kid church both hours and loves it. they learn so much there and truly adore their church family.

[SnowWhite]

You missed an option.

 

My church does not offer it, and I do not miss it, but we would not avoid a church for offering it.

 

It used to be offered, before we began attending, but there was little demand so it was discontinued.

[Chris in VA]

I don't expect my younger children who are not in a saving relationship with Christ to "worship with the family", which sounds lofty but really means that they're coloring quietly. How does an unsaved person "worship", regardless of how old they are? I think that by age 9-10, a child can sit through a service and actually gain knowledge, follow along to some degree, though.

 

I also do not allow our unsaved children to take part in communion because I believe the Bible says they should not. Communion is for the body of believers, and until my child has a saving relationship with Christ, taking communion for show is not taking it in a worthy manner, IMO. I will not treat the sacrament that casually.

 

I'd love to be able to send my younger kiddos to a children's church. My 6yo is squirmy and active and I *know* he's not getting anything out of the service yet and he's not yet saved, so I'd send him to learn some things on his level in a heartbeat!

 

We baptise infants, btw. We believe you are saved then. We do not give the Host to unbaptised people.

WHen I say come in for the Eucharist, I mean that part of the service.

Our Church says you can receive then and only then--but some parents don't let their kids receive until they show some sort of...well, I don't know what (I'd say "understanding," but who really understands it?). Kids who don't yet receive (even if they are unbaptised) can go to the altar for a blessing.

We let ours as soon as they either reached for it or indicated they wanted to in some other way.

 

Just to be clear. :001_smile:

[Tabrett]

The childrens program was a big part of how we picked a church. It is.more Imprtant to me that my kids are learning Bible lessons they can understand than for them to learn to sit in church and color or draw. The message is service is over the head of my oldest. When je is old enough to understand the sermon and not be bored, he will stau with us.

 

Our church has a great program and the children's classes are where our kids make a lot of their friends.

 

I agree. My dc would not understand the sermons. I don't think they would truely understand the sermons at our church until about 11 or 12. I don't want my children to view church as a learning tool on how to sit still and be bored. I want them to love church! I want them to be excited to go every week! I would rather they learn the Bible on their level.

 

I also have very active dc. I would never be able to keep my dc in the service and actually get anything out of it myself. I would be so..soo...soooo focused on trying to keep them still and quiet as to not disturb anyone. If there wasn't children's church, I might as well stay home.;)

[Celia]

I voted 'other'.

 

We have sunday school for the kids (as well as adults - all in age appropriate classes, but no nursery) prior to our formal meeting, which everyone goes to. We do it this way so no one misses the memorial meeting (bread and wine).

[TrixieB]

I voted other.

 

Our church has children's classes & chapel for ages 3yo-8th grade. Pretty much every kid at church attends & appears to enjoy the classes & chapel. This includes one of my kids. My other kid refuses to go & insists on sitting in church with me.

[KrissiK]

I posted "other". We have cc up to 3rd grade (and they only leave for the sermon) and we use it. I don't love it, but I'm fine with it. I think 3rd grade is old enough for children to be out of the main service. I feel very strongly that one of the main reasons kids leave the church when they graduate hs is that they don't feel like they are part of the church. If they are constantly being shuffled off to something "age appropriate" then when are they going to feel like they are part of the greater church body? We go to a small church and we are starting to incorporate our oldest DS into the main service. Kids in our church help with offering, and passing out bulletins. My second DS is learning to run the sound board. It scares me that so many kids leave the church as soon as they are not "forced" to go anymore and I can't help but think that if they are marginalized their whole lives, then why on earth should they stay?

Edited August 27, 2012 by KrissiK

[ThisIsTheDay]

After a bad experience, we were reluctant to stick our kids in children's church.

 

We eventually ended up at a church which prohibits kids under 7 in the sanctuary. For two years, dh and I listened at home on the radio and only went on Easter and Christmas (when kids were allowed). We moved and my younger was finally old enough to join us. 95% of the families homeschooled in that church, and we were the only ones with our children with us every week.

 

I don't have any specific opinion about children's church though. As long as it's a GOOD program, it doesn't matter to me what others do, and I don't think more or less of a church because it does or does not have a program. It just wasn't for us.

[Ellie]

I like nursery through 4yo for both services, age-appropriate Sunday school for everyone, then church for everyone. I cannot imagine why children older than 11 cannot sit in church. How else are they going to learn what to do there?

 

Mr. Ellie grew up in a Southern Baptist church which did it just that way, although he sat through church from the time he was 4 or 5yo. And yes, he colored and otherwise *quietly* goofed off, but he clearly remembers going up for an altar call when he was 5yo, so, yes, I think young children can be in church much younger than most churches do it today (at least, most *Protestant* churches; Catholic parents bring the children to Mass, and we all work through it. :) )

[2squared]

Our prior church offered a fabulous children's mass. They read the same readings and sang the same hymns, but their homily was different. It was fabulous. The kids joined us before the Eucharist. I loved attending that church.

 

Our current church doesn't offer a children's mass, and I'm glad. This church wouldn't be able to put on a true children's mass. My older two kids are in the rotation to serve as altar boys/girls and my dh lectors, but we usually all sit together in the front pew. Since we have a liturgical service (Catholic), my littles do get something out of the mass. Everything in the church and everything we do while in church points directly to the Holy Trinity, so even my 4yo is learning while we are there. My 1yo not so much, although he is cute and he does bring joy to the people sitting behind us. :D

[Peaceful Isle]

I have run children's church in our church for many years. Just recently, I have gotten a break , and someone else is doing it. I really enjoyed working with kids, I am just being used in other ministries now.

That being said, I have a lot of respect for those who run a nice Jr church. It takes time, dedication, lots of energy, not to mention a love for kids.

I happily put our kids in our church's Jr church, and am thankful for all the time and effort the workers put in to teaching my kiddos.

If I hadn't worked for many years with our church kids, and known how much work it takes to run one, I don't think I would be as thankful for that ministry.

 

We also have moms in our church that chose to sit with their kids , and I think that is great too, just FYI :)

 

 

Just my 2 cents! :D

Edited August 27, 2012 by mommyof4AZ

[Whereneverever]

I have my kids in the service with me. Our church is large and has a lot of kids. There's no children's church offered. We do have children's Sunday school during the adult Sunday school time.

 

Our church is really liturigical and the children who are there often follow along well. Even my two year old knows parts of the responsories.

 

I really like worshipping as a family.

[Kelly1730]

We have children's church but since our boys were four and able to sit through a service without too many interruptions we have kept them in church with us. Most of the other families send take advantage of the children's church.

[Dmmetler]

I prefer a church without children's church because my DD has been capable since about age 3 in sitting through church and drawing/taking notes. However, when she was having such social problems at church last year, we started attending one that several of her dance friends attend, and the church does have a children's program. The kids all go to Sunday school together (they do a "one room schoolhouse" model where kids from age 5 until they decide they're ready to go to adult classes attend together), go to the first half of the church service, and then go out and go over the scriptures in the lectionary. The older kids take turns presenting the scriptures and talking about them to the younger ones. They come back in for the final prayer/song.

 

It seems to work very, very well for her, and I'd rather have her eager and happy about attending church than anxious about going and upset at the end of each week, which is what we were getting in our former church.

[iquilt]

Our church offers Children's church as a pull out from regular services for ages 3-8. There is also a nursery for babies and toddlers. Mine have always attended children's church but my youngest is now the only one who qualifies to go. We are also there for Sunday School classes where we all either teach or attend each Sunday so they are getting the children's level stories and attending services with us as a family.

[Sahamamama]

Our church has it. We don't love it. There seem to be some discipline/safety issues, the groups (Pre-K, K-1st, 2nd-3rd, 4th-6th [yes, 6th!]) are too big, the children are allowed to run around wildly, there is no supervision for children using the restroom, they don't do background checks, etc., etc., etc.

 

We keep the children with us most of the time. They can opt out of CC if they want to. They don't really like it, and we're not sure this church is where we should be.

Edited August 27, 2012 by Sahamamama

[Parrothead]

I've never been to a parish that was able to put a children's church team together. I don't particularly like children's church and now that this parish seems like it will actually be getting a children's church team together I'm very glad my dd is too old for it.

[Dobela]

Our church has sometimes offered it on Sunday nights. Other years it has offered it at different times, in different amounts of regularity (every week, once a month, etc) for various age groups. It doesn't offer it now. Even if it did, I wouldn't send my kids to it. I want them in the main auditorium with me. In fact, the last time it was offered my dd was too young and my son was too old. I prefer them in the main worship though. So much they can learn there.

[TravelingChris]

I had to answer we use it (but of course, we don't since my youngest is a sophomore in high school) and the other because of that.

 

WE have used it in some churches that we have attended but not all churches had them. They were never up to age 12. They were always only for something like up to 8 or up to 7 or something like that. Even if they had been available for older children, I wouldn't have used them. They also were never used for the whole service and not on communion weeks in most churches we attended. The children's church would meet during the sermon time and what came after. Normally, there would be a children's message and the children would leave. I our current church= there is a young kid's church two times a month and again, it leaves after the children's message. The other two weeks, there is a program for the 5 and unders.

[DawnM]

We have been to both.....churches that had them and churches that didn't.

 

My oldest has Asperger's and CC was a nightmare for him. It was too loud, too many kids, too chaotic, and on and on the problems went. We didn't know he had Asperger's at the time and we were told he was a behavior problem. It makes me sad looking back.

 

For my other two, they were fine with it.

 

We currently don't have a church. Our church actually stopped existing this summer. So we will be either going back to our former church (it is a distance away which is one reason we left) or we will be church hunting soon.

 

Dawn

[Angel]

I believe that children's church offers/offered my dd's a place to learn more about God on their level. The kids who attend children's church stay in our service until the preaching. Our Pastor comments often that he wishes we would approach his preaching with the same enthusiasm that the kids approach children's church :D Children's church is 4yo to 6th grade at our church, and the only thing I would change about it would be a split in the class for the younger ones. However, I know from homeschooling that the younger kids pick up stuff all the time. They do a Bible lesson and sometimes a snack or craft.

 

I had a close friend who kept her kids in service. They believed in worshiping as a family. What was really happening was Dad and Mom were worshiping and the kids and anyone else in the pews nearby were not. And then there were the times when Dad did tune in and then had to take Jr. out of the service and then back in the service. :glare:

 

Our church doesn't have a kid's program on Sunday nights or on Wednesday evenings during the summer months. My younger dd got plenty of time learning how to sit and listen during these times. But we are even weirder, we let them sit with their friends when they get old enough if they are all behaving/listening and not drawing, playing games, or talking. I guess that would not be worshiping as a family to many of you. But my church family IS my extended family, we ARE worshiping together as a body.

 

ETA: My close friend thought her kids were getting so much out of the service. As a close friend, not a casual observer, they were not. I also wanted to clarify that I don't doubt that some kids can get some thing or two out of the sermon. They can. But many times, it will be over their head or subjects that I feel my children are not ready for. We do not always have "feel good" messages. Some are very deep. In our evening service last night (we are all together) one of the 6yo little boys raised his hand at the end of the sermon when Pastor opened it up for questions. He wanted Pastor to help him ask Jesus into his heart. I'm sure that he didn't get that from our text of Colossians :)

Edited August 27, 2012 by Angel

[Princess Peach]

I had to vote other. Our church does not have children's church. They do Sunday school during the service for K-5th grade and the classes are divided by grade.

[Cinder]

Our church has it but we don't use it and are the only family that doesn't. It might be coincidence but we are also the only homeschooling family as well.

[Garga]

I'm the OP. Thank you all for your responses.

 

Our Children's Church is a big deal. With a church that has 1000 or so members, we have a Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor, Youth Pastor and Children's Pastor.

 

So the Children's Church is run by an actual pastor. The volunteers are dedicated and love kids. I was the preschool teacher twice a month for 7 years, so I know a lot about what goes on in Children's Church and how hard everyone works to make it a success.

 

It's a good program, but I like what one person wrote above about how after her kids were in the main service, when they visited other church's Children's Church they found it "babyish." That's exactly what I feel about my Children's Church.

 

I believe what a lot of the other responders also said, that the kids might wiggle and color, but a lot of truth sinks--after 7 years old or so--and it shows up in their conversation/actions over the next few weeks. I've seen it happen with my 9 yo, whose been in the main service with me since he was 7.

 

The reason I'm asking is that we have a new Youth Pastor and our church is using this transition to re-think how we do things with the kids. There might be restructures coming.

 

I'm part of the Church Board, so when I give my opinions about how we might want to restructure, my words will carry weight. I'm not just some mom complaining about something. Before my ideas are presented, I wanted to run it by an objective crowd (you guys) and test how families feel about Children's Church.

 

According to the poll, a number of you love Children's Church. That's interesting to me, and since I don't agree personally I want to be sure to be respectful of the people who do.

Edited August 27, 2012 by Garga

[mytwomonkeys]

I'm the OP. Thank you all for your responses.

 

Our Children's Church is a big deal. With a church that has 1000 or so members, we have a Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor, Youth Pastor and Children's Pastor.

 

So the Children's Church is run by an actual pastor. The volunteers are dedicated and love kids. I was the preschool teacher twice a month for 7 years, so I know a lot about what goes on in Children's Church and how hard everyone works to make it a success.

 

It's a good program, but I like what one person wrote above about how after her kids were in the main service, when they visited other church's Children's Church they found it "babyish." That's exactly what I feel about my Children's Church.

 

I believe what a lot of the other responders also said, that the kids might wiggle and color, but a lot of truth sinks--after 7 years old or so--and it shows up in their conversation/actions over the next few weeks. I've seen it happen with my 9 yo, whose been in the main service with me since he was 7.

 

The reason I'm asking is that we have a new Youth Pastor and our church is using this transition to re-think how we do things with the kids. There might be restructures coming.

 

I'm part of the Church Board, so when I give my opinions about how we might want to restructure, my words will carry weight. I'm not just some mom complaining about something. Before my ideas are presented, I wanted to run it by an objective crowd (you guys) and test how families feel about Children's Church.

 

According to the poll, a number of you love Children's Church. That's interesting to me, and since I don't agree personally I want to be sure to be respectful of the people who do.

 

our church is 1,000 plus as well. if you like CC but find it too babyish for some of the 3rd grade and up kids, you could look at restructuring how you do it and not just omitting it for the older elementary kids. our children's church meets corporately (ages K-5) for about 15 minutes. they have music and a teaching. all of the small group leaders are in there as well. then they break up and each go to their own small group classroom. the same leader serves each week so the kids really know their leader. at our church they break up by gender and age, so for example, my son is only with 2nd/3rd grade boys. Next year he will only be with 4th/5th grade boys, etc. what's nice is his small group leader is the same man he had for grade 2, so the connection and trust is really built. he was even baptized by his small group leader. K and 1st are not combined though, because they tend to have different needs and maturity. the only "childcare" we offer is for small babies, and anyone aged one and older has a class with a curriculum, agenda, etc. anyway, they are all studying the same scripture, but the application and discussion varies by each group according to their age. my daughter is in 5th grade, so they go much deeper than the younger elementary kids. she also attends church with me after small group, and she loves that as well.

 

i'm sure you are looking at all options. i just was thinking outloud and sharing ideas.:) i know some people dislike CC, but if done well, it can be such a blessing. our church offers it but doesn't require it. kids are welcome in the service too.

[trinchick]

Our church has a kind of hybrid system:

 

Infant to age 3 go to the nursery (babysitting)

 

Preschool - first grade have church school with children's chapel. The first 45 minutes is a Sunday School class with a reading, discussion, activity/craft. Then for the next 30 minutes they go to another room for chapel, which may involve songs, discussion, reciting prayers and always includes the Peace and Communion.

 

Grade 2 - Grade 6 has church school for the first 45 minutes (usually a reading, discussion, activity) and then they join their parents in the "big church" for Communion. The kids usually come in during the announcements (after the homily but before the offering) so there's a lot of scurrying around, but I think it's nice to watch the kids rejoin their families.

 

Grades 7 and 8 are preparing for Confirmation and have extensive classes before the family service and spend the whole service with their families.

[marbel]

I believe what a lot of the other responders also said, that the kids might wiggle and color, but a lot of truth sinks--after 7 years old or so--and it shows up in their conversation/actions over the next few weeks. I've seen it happen with my 9 yo, whose been in the main service with me since he was 7.

 

 

Just a little riff off this, particularly after reading your update and your reasons for the poll. (I love that you did that!)

 

So often parents allow their young kids to color or draw or play with Legos while Mom reads aloud because they know some children can listen better when their hands are occupied.

 

But then when it comes to church time, people tend to frown on it. Why is that? What's the difference? Is it for the benefit of people who don't understand that about kids?

 

Maybe the groups don't overlap. When I see a kid coloring or drawing in church, I think it's great. I don't assume that the kid is not listening. I still treasure a drawing my son made in church - of pigs falling down a cliff into the ocean. Some of you might recognize that story. We had told him to try to draw something from the sermon! ;)

[LaxMom]

My old parish had "children's Mass". It was held in the gym of the parish school, was less formal, and the homily was more geared toward children understanding. Families with young children could choose that Mass or the one in the church proper. Ironically, the cup was only offered at the children's Mass because there were too many people in the more traditional services, and it made everything run behind schedule (and there were some serious traffic and parking issues).

 

So, "other". The "children's church" others refer to is not part of our culture.

[MamaHappy]

I wasn't sure how to vote so I chose 'other'. My church has it and I'm not sure how I feel about it.... I guess I'm neutral.

 

I have a 7 year old and 9 year old and we'll be keeping our 9 year old with us in church starting this fall even though he's old enough for the children's church. I guess I feel children that age are plenty old enough to start sitting in the regular service and don't need to be entertained so much anymore.

 

My 7 year old will go to the children's church for probably another year or two and then we'll do the same thing with him... keep him with us.

[jenL]

Our church has an amazing children's church for grades K-5 on Sundays. It mimics what the adults are getting downstairs in that they have their own opening worship (often with teens leading it live), a teaching relative to the Bible and how it relates to their lives as kids, and then small group lessons to go over the teaching. Downstairs in the main auditorium, adults do not have the small group part as we do those outside of sermon time (small group studies during the week), and our subject matter is usually deeper, more intense, or on a completely different part of the bible.

 

There's also a separate program for children birth-age 4 in another part of our building. I serve in the nursery taking care of the babies. We have separate rooms for 1s (who are walking well), 2s, 3s, and 4s. The 1s and 2s have playground time, snack, and indoor play time. The 3s and 4s also have some indoor playtime, some outdoor playground time, and a short Bible lesson and craft each week.

 

On Wednesday nights, there's another service for kids grades 3-4, 5-6, and our youth (7-12th). Each of these have their own worship time and teaching time as well as small groups, games, fellowship, and study. All are age appropriate for where the kids are in terms of development.

 

I cannot say enough good things about the foundation my boys are receiving through our church in a way they can understand. Between our church and the biblical instruction we are providing at home, I feel like we have our children on a good path. I wish I was raised in a church like ours.

Edited August 27, 2012 by jenL

[shinyhappypeople]

My church provides the following during the Sunday morning services:

 

Nursery 6 mos - 2 years.

This is babysitting for the most part.

 

Preschool/K Children's church 3 yrs - kindergarten (5 or 6 yrs old)

The children sing bible songs, there is generous play time, and they have a lesson on simple stories and learn a bible verse.

 

Children's Church 1st grade - 8th grade (6-12 years old)

Sing songs with kids helping to lead the singing, hand motions are done to the songs. Lesson geared toward their age group. No play time.

 

13 on up--sit in the main sanctuary with the adults.

 

Children are not banned from being in the main service, but other than me and about 2 other families, everyone uses Children's Church.

 

We have 2 services and have a total of about 400-500 people show up each week.

 

I read all the time about people in the Hive who say that they keep their kids with them in church. So...where are all those people in my church? Do people avoid my church because they're upset at the idea of Children's Church being offered at all? Or is this just another quirk of homeschoolers, and since most of the families at my church don't homeschool, I should expect to be in the minority?

 

I, personally, think that it's nice when a church offers a nursery through kindergarten class for kids during the service, if parents want it. But once the kids are in 1st grade, I believe it's time to be with the rest of the family.

 

What does the hive think about Children's Church for kids who are about 6 years old to 12 years old?

 

My kids go to children's church / Sunday School type program during the second half of the service. I'd no sooner force my kids to sit through an adult sermon than I would make them sit through a high school or college lecture. In children's church they're learning the gospel in a way that makes sense to them and honors where they're at developmentally.

 

During certain times, I was forced to sit through the service as a kid and it was pointless, boring, torture. I spent the time drawing tiny, intricate pictures on the back of an offering envelope, reading the hymnal, staring at the ceiling, counting people in the congregation, comparing the size of my hand to my mom's hand, twisting her wedding ring, begging to go get a drink of water or use the restroom (and then walking slooooowly to the water fountain and sloooooowly back), and swinging my legs back and forth (first fast, then slow, fast, slow... oh, no! I accidentally kicked the pew in front of me. Stop swinging legs and look innocent for awhile). None of it contributed to my spiritual formation in a positive way. NONE of it. I wasn't listening to the sermon because I couldn't really follow it. The singing was good, though. I got to stand up and make some joyful noises :)

[shinyhappypeople]

The childrens program was a big part of how we picked a church. It is.more Imprtant to me that my kids are learning Bible lessons they can understand than for them to learn to sit in church and color or draw. The message is service is over the head of my oldest. When je is old enough to understand the sermon and not be bored, he will stau with us.

 

Our church has a great program and the children's classes are where our kids make a lot of their friends.

 

:iagree: wholeheartedly.

[Whereneverever]

I'm the OP. Thank you all for your responses.

 

Our Children's Church is a big deal. With a church that has 1000 or so members, we have a Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor, Youth Pastor and Children's Pastor.

 

So the Children's Church is run by an actual pastor. The volunteers are dedicated and love kids. I was the preschool teacher twice a month for 7 years, so I know a lot about what goes on in Children's Church and how hard everyone works to make it a success.

 

It's a good program, but I like what one person wrote above about how after her kids were in the main service, when they visited other church's Children's Church they found it "babyish." That's exactly what I feel about my Children's Church.

 

I believe what a lot of the other responders also said, that the kids might wiggle and color, but a lot of truth sinks--after 7 years old or so--and it shows up in their conversation/actions over the next few weeks. I've seen it happen with my 9 yo, whose been in the main service with me since he was 7.

 

The reason I'm asking is that we have a new Youth Pastor and our church is using this transition to re-think how we do things with the kids. There might be restructures coming.

 

I'm part of the Church Board, so when I give my opinions about how we might want to restructure, my words will carry weight. I'm not just some mom complaining about something. Before my ideas are presented, I wanted to run it by an objective crowd (you guys) and test how families feel about Children's Church.

 

According to the poll, a number of you love Children's Church. That's interesting to me, and since I don't agree personally I want to be sure to be respectful of the people who do.

 

Have you read some of the stuff or seen any of the videos on family integrated church? I don't mesh well with all the theology of the main proponents but there are some really interesting ideas about the structure of children's programming.

[justamouse]

You can have it both ways.

 

We have very active children's classes, and children's 'ministry', they just do not occur *during* church services.

 

We have CCD three nights a week that has about 1000 kids (and we're a small parish! I'm a CCD teacher for 4th and 8th this year), we have Squires, and Roses, (they have their own meetings and have community projects they help with, they're sponsored by the Knights of Columbus) and we have the 8th on up active in serving the community from stocking the food pantry, arranging the 500 baskets for Thanksgiving, the Angel Tree project and the Christmas baskets.

 

Our kids are always doing something. Just not during church.

 

At this point, I wouldn't attend a church that had a children's services while the main service is going on. My kids wiggle around some, but they learn. They are growing deeply in their faith, in ways that I only glimpse when they say something they've been thinking about or observing. Them being IN service teaches them that they are a part of church community, a responsible, effective, mature part (it tells them that we, as a community respect them enough to think that they deserve to be included with the adults, and feast on the meat). I personally think that offering children's services while the adult church is going on is dumbing the faith down for them, and I respect them too much as their OWN people and Christians in their own right to do that.

 

When my littlest guy started homeschooling, I just let him hang with the big kids. He played matchbox cars, colored, played with legos. WHen it came time for him to do seat work, he had already ingested all that his sisters were learning, and I had to bump him up from k to second grade math. JUST by him listening.

 

Don't think that because they're coloring during the service, nothing is going on. You underestimate a child's ability to comprehend deep things.

Edited August 27, 2012 by justamouse

[2squared]

Some of the difference in opinion is related to church culture. Since families worship together in a Catholic mass, most homilies are presented knowing that children are listening as well. They are also short - 15 minutes or so. My kids follow along, and we discuss the homily at dinner. My priest loves highlighting his homilies with Lena and Olie jokes, and my kids thought Lena and Olie were a real couple until this weekend. :D