Babies & soda - yes or no

[Dealea86]

Ooh, if it's the father that makes things super complicated. Culture clashes are not easy to deal with.

 

If it's going to keep happening no matter what she says, then I'd recommend lots of tooth brushing. :tongue_smilie:

[Dustybug]

My dd plays with another four-year-old girl that lives next door, and their family drinks a lot of soda. The girl had to have all of her teeth capped recently because every single one of her teeth was rotten. Apparently her mom made her thing it was something cool, because she was walking around bragging about her teeth being capped and saying to dd, "Don't you wish you could have capped teeth like me?"

 

Oy.

 

:001_huh:

[danybug]

I would have your dd try to address all of this in the most non confrontational way possible. She would be more likely to try and curb absurd behavior in a pleasant lets do what is best for the baby talk.

 

Soda in a baby that young is so crazy! Who even thinks of that? My 11yo ds has had soda maybe 2 times in his whole life and hates it.

[Plucky]

I would have your dd try to address all of this in the most non confrontational way possible. She would be more likely to try and curb absurd behavior in a pleasant lets do what is best for the baby talk.

 

Soda in a baby that young is so crazy! Who even thinks of that? My 11yo ds has had soda maybe 2 times in his whole life and hates it.

 

I agree. Maybe she can show him pictures of kids' teeth who drank soda and insinuate that the dental bill will be his. :D

[justamouse]

Fury.

 

Have the offender watch

 

You're poisioning the baby's liver.

[mommaduck]

Is this person the other parent? Is this person giving the baby a bottle of it (as in amount, even if through a straw) or did they just give the baby a sip of it? If it's the other parent and it was just a sip to "taste", that would be completely different than some random person giving the child a bottle of it.

 

Though, imo, soda is poison and an eight month old in my house would be exclusively breastfed and thus no one would dream of giving them soda...except my mother and only to be ornery.

[hsmom27]

I told myself not to respond....

 

All my kids drink soda from the time they're babies. If dad is the one giving the soda, your DD can talk to him, but I wouldn't think it's worth fighting about.

 

And .... none of my children have rotten teeth. Over a decade of 7 kids drinking soda and not one cavity. Only 4/7 of my kids are bio kids, so brushing twice a day (not genetics) seems to keep cavities away.

 

and now...:leaving:

[Ghee]

A) Yes, it's bad for the baby.

 

B) It doesn't matter if it's bad for the baby. If Mom is upset about it, it needs to stop. Telling her to get over it is disrespectful.

 

I wouldn't let that person watch my child anymore.

[Momma_Bear]

I'd be pissed. I'm not even as health conscious as many other parents on here but that's a no-no.

:iagree: We allow our kids to have pop occasionally, but no way at 8 months.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Katherine, I think we needed a few more posts to balance things out. I had to take out my balancing part because I had misunderstood the original situation.

 

I think soda isn't for a baby, but a couple sips from moms cup isn't going to kill anyone.

I think any real amount for babies, toddlers, preschoolers, young elementary is not a good idea.

But my kids have had a few in the 15 months I've had them. <shrug>

I do have an issue with the more regular soda drinking by little people, especially when their mothers

worry about their behavior, teeth, weight, etc.

 

GENERALLY, no one needs to be drinking their calories (well, unless you are counting green smoothies as drinking). Really, water is the most important thing to drink. Past that, we all do some continuum. I'm fine with that for the most part.

[wapiti]

The offending party is the father and his family so there is no way DD can say no to the baby spending time with him or them. Dd is now wondering what else he is doing without her knowledge or consent.

 

How about the offending party comes to the next ped visit? I'm sure the ped would be happy to educate him.

 

However, I agree that if this is just a little tiny sip of someone else's soda, then whatever, I'd express incredible annoyance but then let it slide. If the baby is allowed an ounce or more, I'd proceed with attempting to rectify the ignorance.

[Soror]

No.

 

It is such a really, really horrible idea. Even if they escape rotten teeth, there is still the fact that a child that age should only take bm or formula and calories from any other source are replacing real food, it is setting them up to be sugar addicts, diabetics, etc. There is no good reason for a small baby or toddler really to have any soda, they are rapidly growing, that is not brain food. We know it is bad for us, it is doubly bad for them.

[Mommyof4ks]

I would be livid, and the reaction of the person would cause me not to leave them unsupervised with my child. Most things do not bother me much as long as people stop doing whatever it is to my child when I ask them to stop, but when they prove they cannot be trusted by laughing it off, then I get protective.

[4everHis]

I'd be pissed. I'm not even as health conscious as many other parents on here but that's a no-no.

 

:iagree: and add that whatever a parent asked me not to give their child is what I would not give their child. When did it become ok for someone to ignore a parents request like that??

[Hoot]

I would be furious! It is your DD's child and the other person's opinions are irrelevant. I would not allow my child to be alone with someone who did not respect my parental choices.

[Moxie]

I wouldn't be happy about the soda but I'd be more unhappy with myself for having a baby with an idiot for a father.

[JustGin]

My DD found out today that someone(not me) has been giving her 8 month old soda. DD is livid. The offending party says it is not harmful and it makes the baby happy so DD's reaction is uncalled for.

 

What says the hive?

 

Soda = Coke and orange drink through a straw (as far as we know)

 

Grrr...I'd be livid as well and I'm not an anti-sugar gal. 8 months old is way, way to young for that and even if it wasn't, the Mom get's to call this one, and that is what would make me most angry.

[Harriet Vane]

I would be furious, first that it was done, and also because the offending party is so disrespectful.

[momacacia]

Dr. Pepper= The Black Drink of Death

 

No, no, no.

[ThisIsTheDay]

That is REALLY stupid.

 

:iagree: I'd have serious concerns about this person's judgment in taking care of a baby. What kind of person does this, really?

[cin]

I have several concerns regarding soda for babies. First, the teeth. Second, the empty calories. Even giving a baby water can fill up their bellies and keep them from getting essential nutrients. And finally, I always hated it when my friend would give her baby soda with dinner and then complain about him not going to sleep 2 or 3 hours later.:001_huh: He just drank 8 oz of caffeinated soda?!!

 

The fact that it is dad though, raises a whole 'nuther issue. A wise lady told me, right before we brought DD home, that if I complain about the little things that DH does with/for DD, then he might just back out and do nothing. And I have seen this happen. Men get criticized and knocked down to the point that they feel they can't do anything right. So they become absentee fathers.

 

Now, please understand I am providing this illustration just as that. I am not saying the soda thing is right or wrong. I guess, I would just evaluate how much, how often, and THEN decide if it's a hill to die on. And if it is, I would approach it very gently. He may think he's doing a great thing by sharing with his baby.

[Ellie]

Absolutely not. Under no circumstances. Your dd has every right to be livid.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Thank you again for the replies. I am happy to know DD and I are not alone in our views on babies and soda.

 

DD is thinking about things tonight and trying to figure out how to handle the situation. My heart breaks for her because this episode made her realize for the first time that no matter what she says or requests she really has no control over what he does when he has the baby.

 

I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone. It is heartbreaking.

[Amy in NH]

Um, no.

 

Did you ever see the video of the baby smoking? It made him happy, too. Just no.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

 

The fact that it is dad though, raises a whole 'nuther issue. A wise lady told me, right before we brought DD home, that if I complain about the little things that DH does with/for DD, then he might just back out and do nothing. And I have seen this happen. Men get criticized and knocked down to the point that they feel they can't do anything right. So they become absentee fathers.

 

Now, please understand I am providing this illustration just as that. I am not saying the soda thing is right or wrong. I guess, I would just evaluate how much, how often, and THEN decide if it's a hill to die on. And if it is, I would approach it very gently. He may think he's doing a great thing by sharing with his baby.

 

I appreciate this perspective. Thank you for pointing that out.

[thefragile7393]

Uh no....no no no. Just no.

[Impish]

Boo is 8 mths.

 

I'd rip someone's head off.

 

He's on baby food, formula, and now, w/the disgustingly hot weather, gets extremely watered down apple juice. And, he's had bits of frozen fruit juice popsicles, and watermelon. Rusks and Farley biscuits too.\

 

Pop? no way in hell.

[TranquilMind]

I told myself not to respond....

 

All my kids drink soda from the time they're babies. If dad is the one giving the soda, your DD can talk to him, but I wouldn't think it's worth fighting about.

 

And .... none of my children have rotten teeth. Over a decade of 7 kids drinking soda and not one cavity. Only 4/7 of my kids are bio kids, so brushing twice a day (not genetics) seems to keep cavities away.

 

and now...:leaving:

Is this why your kids are "littlewigglebutts"?

 

(Sorry...couldn't resist) ;)

[godsaggie]

Pardon my french: H E double hockey sticks NO!!! I would throw an absolute fit! I don't even give my 14 month old juice. He drinks breastmilk and water. And if I didn't breastfeed, it would be regular milk and water. That is a huge risk for diabetes. I got off the soda habit about six months ago because all the sugar that is in it. I occasionally will have a soda, but not frequently. Some people are just plain idiots!!!! Hello...diabetes anyone?

[misidawnrn]

Soda is bad in general...empty calories, sugar, chemicals, etc.....

But, I am a bad mommy and let my kids have it occasionally:eek:. (probably not at 8 months though just to point that out) and I would be mad if I decided my kids didn't get soda and someone else gave it to them.

[Farrar]

Ok, well I personally don't give a monkey's uncle regarding the whole soda thing, but you are basically saying that dads can be as stupid as they want and we shouldn't pick on them because hey after all they are doing "something"?

 

I think mothers can feel knocked down too btw...

 

I didn't take it that way. I thought it was more like, if you treat a father like he's Homer Simpson/Papa from the Berenstein Bears then don't be surprised if it backfires on you in some way - by him checking out or acting that way. Like, try to be aware and not to buy into that preset cultural dynamic and expectation (which is just as demeaning to women, I would say).

 

I do think men get the short end of it sometimes. Some of the things people have said to dh, especially when he was out alone with the kids when they were babies are just astounding to me. And I think people have questioned my parenting! Oy. They treated him alternately like he was some sort of hero just for doing anything or they like an idiot who was just subbing for the day and not the "real" parent. I've had a number of men say to me that they feel like the bar is so low for being a father that you can do anything and society makes you feel like a good father. With attitudes like that, no wonder parenting is so under siege...

[WTMCassandra]

I'm with your DD on this one. I would be livid too. The below 5 crowd doesn't need soda At. All.

[Jean in Newcastle]

But why is the line different for men verses women? If I grew up drinking soda, and I'm fine, then I'm doing what I think is fine. If I'm a man and people say something they are picking on me. But if I'm a woman I'm just stupid and clueless?

 

I don't totally not get what you are saying, but again, where is the line drawn? Why so radically different for men vs. women?

 

I think that women biologically are perhaps more tied to their children and aren't as likely to disengage as men are. Obviously this is a gross generalization but perhaps there is a tendency there within the generalization.

[Farrar]

But why is the line different for men verses women? If I grew up drinking soda, and I'm fine, then I'm doing what I think is fine. If I'm a man and people say something they are picking on me. But if I'm a woman I'm just stupid and clueless?

 

I don't totally not get what you are saying, but again, where is the line drawn? Why so radically different for men vs. women?

 

I didn't think it was so much a comment about the soda. More like, here's this thing that mom thinks is "clearly wrong" and dad thinks is "no big deal." But if mom attacks dad for being "stupid" about it, then that's falling into this certain sort of stereotype and relationship where mom always knows best and dad is a buffoon. Maybe I'm taking this farther than what Cin meant, but if mom's wishes automatically win, it implies that she's more of the parent and undermines his authority and fatherhood - apart from who's right or whether babies should have soda. She shouldn't "win" simply because she's the mom or simply because she's a woman. In our society we tend to assume that women know more about children and are "better" parents, which also undermines men. It's a sort of spiral.

 

I do think men and women are treated differently as parents by society. But I think most people in the thread thought anyone, man or woman, giving the baby soda was ignorant and wrong. While I agree with that, I personally didn't think it was such a big deal as a number of people said. I certainly wouldn't feel like doing violence on someone giving my kids sugar at that age, I would have been more like, "Huh?" than "Let me strangle you!"

 

And I'm guessing there's more issues between the particular parents in this case than just soda.

[Farrar]

I think that women biologically are perhaps more tied to their children and aren't as likely to disengage as men are. Obviously this is a gross generalization but perhaps there is a tendency there within the generalization.

 

Whenever I see this sort of generalization, I wonder how much it contributes to men disengaging. I mean, if I heard that my gender (or "type of person" or whatever) was going to act a certain negative way, then that totally reinforces that behavior for me. Or makes me feel like, "Whatever, why bother." So the more we go around saying things like this, I wonder how much damage we're doing to the potential of more engaged fathers.

[MomatHWTK]

Junk food in general is not everyone's first choice. But it's out there and people are going to serve it. And yes, where there are two parents and they aren't in agreement then each side is going to have to accept that fact. I wouldn't make every little thing an issue, particularly if I was in an antagonistic relationship with the other person- you are just giving them a set of direction on how to really get to you.

[PeacefulChaos]

No way!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Whenever I see this sort of generalization, I wonder how much it contributes to men disengaging. I mean, if I heard that my gender (or "type of person" or whatever) was going to act a certain negative way, then that totally reinforces that behavior for me. Or makes me feel like, "Whatever, why bother." So the more we go around saying things like this, I wonder how much damage we're doing to the potential of more engaged fathers.

 

I googled and found that 1/3 of children live in homes with absentee fathers. I was not able to find a statistic for those with absentee mothers though I think it is less. I realize that there are many many factors involved in such situations but I think it unfortunately is a grain a truth in the generalization that men often find it easier to walk away from fatherhood than women do motherhood. I am not dissing men in general. I am not saying that they can't be engaged. I think that people want to encourage more men to be engaged and that sometimes allowing them to engage without having to have it all right might be more important than making a line in the sand over an issue like the OP brought up.

 

I do think that the suggestion that a PP made to ask the father to meet with a pediatrician to discuss this is a good one. That is what many of us would suggest to do with a mother who was making choices which might not be the healthiest for the child too.

Edited July 11, 2012 by Jean in Newcastle

[kubiac]

OH GOD NO.

 

We're pretty permissive parents, but if someone gave my kid soda (especially after I asked them not to!) they would not be watching my kid ever again.

 

Soda, wine and beer are grownup drinks and that's that.

[Soror]

I wouldn't be happy about the soda but I'd be more unhappy with myself for having a baby with an idiot for a father.

 

LOL, well I wouldn't say those exact words BUT if my husband did that we would be having a long meeting because evidently our thoughts in regards to children weren't even on the same planet.

[DaffodilDreams]

I'd be mad as heck!!! In fact, I'm pretty ticked off about it just hearing such a thing. : (

 

Off to read other responses.

[KarenC]

My DD found out today that someone(not me) has been giving her 8 month old soda. DD is livid. The offending party says it is not harmful and it makes the baby happy so DD's reaction is uncalled for.

 

What says the hive?

 

Soda = Coke and orange drink through a straw (as far as we know)

 

I would be absolutely livid too. Of course it makes the baby happy, it's liquid sugar. What an idiot.

 

Karen

[Runnermom]

Absolutely no way! Soda is liquid poison and not only that, what you give your child in their first five years of life will have a major impact on their future health!!

[craftymama]

No, no, NO!! My kids get Italian Soda from Whole Foods on RARE occasions, but COKE - never. I cannot imagine why anyone would think it ok to give to someone else's kid (though my son did get it once at a birthday party, but he was almost six, not a baby) let alone a little one. Makes me angry...

[Parrothead]

It would bother me but not to the livid stage. Clearly the person giving the soda needs a bit of educating about the nutritional needs of babies.

[mommaduck]

It would bother me but not to the livid stage. Clearly the person giving the soda needs a bit of educating about the nutritional needs of babies.

:iagree:I don't understand the "ripping off someone's head" that I'm hearing. Honestly, there are a lot of ignorant people or those that are still going off of what past generations sometimes did "and survived".

[Firefly]

I wouldn't be happy about the soda but I'd be more unhappy with myself for having a baby with an idiot for a father.

 

LOL I had that thought, too.

 

Absolutely no way! Soda is liquid poison and not only that, what you give your child in their first five years of life will have a major impact on their future health!!

 

Seriously. If you're giving your baby soda on a regular basis, it's not only rotten teeth you have to worry about-- liver damage, decreased bone density, DIABETES. Hello?? The mind boggles. :001_huh:

[AimeeM]

I know I'm probably in the minority here.

We do not forbid soda. We often keep it in the house and the children (well, minus the newborn) have access to it. Our 10 year old only randomly drinks it and our 3 year old has about a glass a day.

 

On that note, I saw a mention that soda, wine, and beer are "grown up drinks". I guess I missed that memo, as did my husband. We give our 10 year old a small glass (in a wine glass) of wine if she asks for it when we have wine with dinner (fyi - this is perfectly legal in our state). She doesn't care for it, so she generally doesn't ask (or she only wants to taste it). *shrug* My husband is first generation American and it was very typical for children to take in small amounts of wine when he was growing up and in his home.

 

OP - I would be upset in your situation because, regardless of my view on THIS subject (ie food and beverage consumption), someone did something they were expressly told not to do with a child who (I assume) wasn't theirs to do so with. Although, if it is a grandparent they should probably get used to it - my children's grandparents are always sneaking them SOMETHING :D.

[justamouse]

:iagree:I don't understand the "ripping off someone's head" that I'm hearing. Honestly, there are a lot of ignorant people or those that are still going off of what past generations sometimes did "and survived".

 

I think because we know so much more now. At this point it seems willful ignorance to give a baby soda. A couple of sips once or twice isn't so bad, but as a constant drink? This baby is being set up-through no choice of their own for-diabetes, (and all of the ongoing problems it causes) obesity (and the litany of problems it causes), teeth problems, not to mention what it's doing to their small gut.

 

This baby has no idea. It hasn't read any articles, it totally depends on its parents to make the best choices for it--and they aren't. And I know that that happens ALL the time, but it's not like the information isn't out there in a big way at this point.

 

Will they survive? Sure, basically, but they won't be thriving. It's like stacking the deck against your own kid, and it's hard enough out there as it is.

[alisoncooks]

I'd be pretty angry as well, but less because of the SODA and more because the mother's wishes are being disrespected.

 

That said, I think (and I'm neither a scientist nor doctor) a little soda now and then will not harm the baby. My girls drink mainly juice and water (and the juice was diluted until they were 3-4). My oldest (now 6) does drink Sprite when we go out to restaurants; my youngest is allowed to choose fruit punch or lemonade, and they're not much better.

 

I don't worry excessively over it. They eat & drink well when at home and that's the majority of their intake.