Veritaserum Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) I don't think I'm a super strict parent, but this made me go :001_huh:. My kids are either in bed or winding down. This isn't the first time this has happened in my neighborhood, but it still strikes me as odd. What's normal where you live? ETA: The neighbor girl is 11. She actually rang the bell first and then knocked because it wasn't answered quickly enough. :tongue_smilie: If we had been outside in the yard, I wouldn't have thought it odd. The ringing and knocking this late are what struck me as inappropriate. Edited May 26, 2012 by Veritaserum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 This was very much the norm when I lived in the city in a rough neighborhood. It is not the norm where I live now, in a middle class suburb. Just tell the kids sweetly, smilingly, that your kids are not available after whatever time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) We have a neighbor kid who does this often. I always remind him that no, my kids are in bed/getting ready for bed and that they can't play that late. Usually he goes on about how he hasn't even had dinner, so how could my kids get ready for bed yet. :001_huh: Edited May 26, 2012 by mommymilkies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 In the summer on a Friday night with the sun up for another hour or so and then the fireflies come out - Yes! Fine and fun! On a Tuesday in Novemeber - no! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Really, I think that's too late for random playing with neighborhood kids. I would have been surprised too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 During school week and if it was winter, no. On the weekends nearing summer, I wouldn't be surprised. Most of the kids in our neighborhood aren't seen until after 3 pm and are out until 9ish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 My opinion is that if it is after 6pm, anyone who is outside playing is allowed to be and interested in being outside playing while anyone not outside isn't because they are not allowed or not interested. Now, that may not be any MORE true at 7pm than it is at 3pm; but it will be the "rule" my own kids are required to live by. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 In the summer on a Friday night with the sun up for another hour or so and then the fireflies come out - Yes! Fine and fun! On a Tuesday in Novemeber - no! Yes, and considering the very warm weather coupled with the fact that today was start of summer vacation for the public schools AND it's a 3 day holiday weekend? Totally fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2samlibby Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 In the summer on a Friday night with the sun up for another hour or so and then the fireflies come out - Yes! Fine and fun! On a Tuesday in Novemeber - no! :iagree: And a holiday weekend to boot. I would be ok with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happymomofboys Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 My kids don't know any neighbor kids, so we've never had to worry about this. However, they're in their rooms by 9pm every night even in summer, so I voted no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Also, on a warm summer holiday weekend, it isn't all that unusual for us to just be putting something on the grill while the kids play on the swingset at 7:30/8:00ish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 How old was the kid? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extendedforecast Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 After about 7pm, I think it's rude to knock on the neighbors' doors to ask if their kids can play. In the summer I often let my kids play until about nine, but unless the other kids come out on their own (and they do), my kids aren't allowed to ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 It is fine to ask to play at that time if the kids are already out, or we have the front door open, lights on inside, and are obviously going in and out of the house. But 8 pm is too late to knock on anyone's closed front door for a social call, even on a weekend in the summer. I have had kids show up at 8 and later wanting our boys to come out and play, or to come over to their house, or just to ask if they can swim in our teeny tiny shallow Intex pool :001_huh: My answer past 8 pm will always be, "no sweetheart, it's eight o'clock - it's too late. Goodnight ! " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 In the summer on a Friday night with the sun up for another hour or so and then the fireflies come out - Yes! Fine and fun! On a Tuesday in Novemeber - no! :iagree: During the summer, kids in our neighborhood play flashlight tag after the sun goes down. They have a great deal of fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pitterpatter Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Too late for knocking on doors. Might be okay, if you're out in the yard piddling during the summer, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted May 26, 2012 Author Share Posted May 26, 2012 How old was the kid? 11. She actually rang the bell first and then knocked because it wasn't answered quickly enough. :tongue_smilie: If we had been outside in the yard, I wouldn't have thought it odd. The ringing and knocking this late are what struck me as inappropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 In the summer on a Friday night with the sun up for another hour or so and then the fireflies come out - Yes! Fine and fun! On a Tuesday in Novemeber - no! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) In summer, it's fine. My son, who's 11, is still out playing and it's now 9:23 PM. Edited May 26, 2012 by DianeW88 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 In the summer time we sometimes do for my 2 big kids. The kids are out later than mine usually and forget what time it is. Even tonight ds13 is at a friend's place. He called me at 9pm to ask for an extra 30 minutes because another kid just showed up to play. Mine are usually the first ones home for the night and heading to bed while their friends are still out playing. The only other time it happens is when an old coworker swings by. She will stop by with her 2 little ones at 8pm and tell me they are headed to the park and invite mine along. SOmetimes I will allow the 3 biggest to go for a short while but not the youngest. This is the same woman that got called into the school for a talk with the principal and K teacher because her ds5 was coming to K fast asleep daily because his bedtime was at 1130pm or later on school nights. It all depends on the night of the week and which kid is being called on. ds13 or dd12 no problem, dd4 heck no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tasia Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) On a Friday night, that wouldn't be out of the ordinary for our neighborhood. Most of the 8-12 crowd on our street plays "spotlight" when it starts to get dark and goes home around 9:30/10:00. Edited May 26, 2012 by Tazzie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingerbread Mama Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 I voted no, that they shouldn't be trying to get someone to the door and asking if kids who are inside can come out to play. Now, that said, my own kids didn't come inside until almost 9 tonight... I don't have a problem with kids playing outside after 8, we are night people anyway and are usually up until at least 11, so the time itself (in relation to playing) doesn't phase me. I just hope I've taught my own kids not to be imposing themselves on the neighbors at that point! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 It's a Friday night at the start of summer, and still daylight at 8. My kids were usually in the pool with friends as young pre-teens/teens til 9 or 10 on summer nights, especially on the weekends. I figure they have a strict schedule enough of the year, so they can cut loose a bit in the summer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 I wouldn't have a problem if we're outside, or going in and out of the house. But as someone else said, knocking on a closed front door at that time isn't my cup of tea. We don't have a lot of kids in our neighborhood, though, it's pretty quiet. Which suits me fine. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Down_the_Rabbit_Hole Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 I remember in the summer playing outside and swimming till 10pm with the neighborhood kids so I have no problem with this. It does not get dark until 9 here. I do have a rule that lets the neighborhood kids know if it is okay to knock or not...if the blind on the door is down then don't knock, up it is okay to knock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suppleasthewind Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 I'm too tired at eight o'clock at night to watch another child. My day should be almost done at that point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Yes, and considering the very warm weather coupled with the fact that today was start of summer vacation for the public schools AND it's a 3 day holiday weekend? Totally fine. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenmama2 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 My opinion is that if it is after 6pm, anyone who is outside playing is allowed to be and interested in being outside playing while anyone not outside isn't because they are not allowed or not interested. Now, that may not be any MORE true at 7pm than it is at 3pm; but it will be the "rule" my own kids are required to live by. I like this. We don't have set bedtimes and my eldest is a nightowl but even I wouldn't be comfortable with an unplanned playdate that late. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 If my kids were still running around outside, I'd have no problem if a neighbor kid showed up. But I don't want my doorbell ringing at 8 pm or after if we're in for the night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 In the summer on a Friday night with the sun up for another hour or so and then the fireflies come out - Yes! Fine and fun! On a Tuesday in Novemeber - no! :iagree: On summer days or late spring weekends when the sun lasts longer and it isn't a "school night" my kids often play in each other's backyards or right in front of our houses until 9 PM or so. And I don't think I ever in my life managed to get my kids to bed by 8 PM lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly1730 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 If my kids were still running around outside, I'd have no problem if a neighbor kid showed up. But I don't want my doorbell ringing at 8 pm or after if we're in for the night. :iagree:I would never allow my kids to ask the neighbors to play this late in the day but if they/we are still out then it's okay, of course. Our ps kids go until the first/second week of June so we still have some time;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Where I live it would be fine. Little kids were still pouring off the boardwalk after 11 p.m. last night. Oh, and the fireworks on Friday night don't even go off until 10 p.m. here, so pretty much anyone who can stay awake is up until at least 10... But every place is different. I think it is great that someone wants to knock and play with your kids! I also think it's OK to tell the girl that once your kids are inside past whatever o'clock, you'd prefer no invitations to play. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) I voted yes because they can ask. ;) I generally want all my kids in my house (and no extras) by 9pm in the summer. It's not quite summer yet here. We are a very fair-skinned bunch though and evenings are the best time for mine to be outside. ETA: But my kids would not be doing this. Also, if it's nice enough to play at that hour, they are to be OUTSIDE--not running in and out of my house. Edited May 26, 2012 by darlasowders Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 We are rural and only have one little neighbor boy in walking disstance. He has come over wanting to play later in the evening during the summer, but he figured it out after a few times of telling him ds was in bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairyMom Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 If we had been outside in the yard, I wouldn't have thought it odd. The ringing and knocking this late are what struck me as inappropriate. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 It wouldn't bother me at all - its already getting too hot to play in the afternoon for long. I'd rather them be out playing later in the evening. However, I don't let my kids go knock after 8. I know, seems weird, but we're kind of the laid back house on the block. If we're inside it's usually because no one else was outside, so we came in to do something. I'm happy to involve the neighbor kids in the movie, game, cooking - most nights. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 I voted no, but if you guys would have been outside, doing stuff at 8pm, than it would be ok. Just to ring the door bell/knock when there is no one out, no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappyhappymama Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Also, on a warm summer holiday weekend, it isn't all that unusual for us to just be putting something on the grill while the kids play on the swingset at 7:30/8:00ish. It's a Friday night at the start of summer, and still daylight at 8. My kids were usually in the pool with friends as young pre-teens/teens til 9 or 10 on summer nights, especially on the weekends. I figure they have a strict schedule enough of the year, so they can cut loose a bit in the summer. :iagree: When I read the post title, my first thought was "Awwwww! Summer!" Some of my fondest memories are of spending the evening and twilight hours running and playing with friends, eeking out every last bit of the summer day fun. My kids may not get to experience riding their bikes to school or catching a cross-town bus on their own or taking off first thing in the morning and not coming home until dinner like I did as a kid, but I am happy they'll at least enjoy this bit of idyllic childhood. A knock at the door at 8pm wouldn't faze me in the least. Full disclosure- we are night owls year round and my kids generally go to bed between 9-10, often even later in summer. I can see being annoyed if we were a 7 or 8pm bedtime kind of family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Element Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 In the summer on a Friday night with the sun up for another hour or so and then the fireflies come out - Yes! Fine and fun! On a Tuesday in Novemeber - no! :iagree:That's kind of what I was thinking too. Sadly, the mosquitoes are starting to get bad already here by the river, so most of us have to move indoors by 7:30 or so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmiLeeStephens Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 This is our first time experiencing the knocks on the door too! We had a little girl knock at 9 the other night! WHERE are her parents?! LOL! We just explain that our kiddos are already in bed and they can play the next day. We also ask NOT to ring the doorbell b/c we had a little one sleeping. It seems to be working! Funny thin is my kiddos are EARLY risers and want to play at 7:30 A.M. when the rest of the world is sleeping! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 This is our first time experiencing the knocks on the door too! We had a little girl knock at 9 the other night! WHERE are her parents?! LOL! We just explain that our kiddos are already in bed and they can play the next day. We also ask NOT to ring the doorbell b/c we had a little one sleeping. It seems to be working! Funny thin is my kiddos are EARLY risers and want to play at 7:30 A.M. when the rest of the world is sleeping! this is where I have a more set in stone rule than night time door knocking. My kids are not allowed to call on friends before 10am. Otherwise ds13 would have been calling on his friends at 8 am on a sunday morning kwim, so 10am it is. Like I posted earlier 8pm at night no problem, but noting before 10am Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted May 26, 2012 Author Share Posted May 26, 2012 this is where I have a more set in stone rule than night time door knocking. My kids are not allowed to call on friends before 10am. Otherwise ds13 would have been calling on his friends at 8 am on a sunday morning kwim, so 10am it is. Like I posted earlier 8pm at night no problem, but noting before 10am We are a 8pm - 9am kind of family. I wouldn't let my children ring, knock, or call during those hours. I'm an increasingly cranky, very pregnant mama who wasn't so happy to be unexpectedly disturbed after getting kids settled for the night. ;) In general if I don't get adequate quiet time in the evening, I am not a happy person (introvert). :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 It's normal on our street, though I don't usually let our kids out after eight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 It is fine to ask to play at that time if the kids are already out, or we have the front door open, lights on inside, and are obviously going in and out of the house. But 8 pm is too late to knock on anyone's closed front door for a social call, even on a weekend in the summer. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 It does happen here. It is usually the next door girls and my guys. It wouldn't bother me. I try to limit it in the morning though until after 9 since many people sleep in even if we don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emzhengjiu Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 During the summer in Texas, my girls are out playing late in the evening. It would normal to have kids ringing the door bell at 8 pm then, but not in the winter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer L Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Yup, normal around here. More so during the summer because it stays brighter later. I don't usually mind though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homemama2 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 We have a neighbor kid who does this often. I always remind him that no, my kids are in bed/getting ready for bed and that they can't play that late. Usually he goes on about how he hasn't even had dinner, so how could my kids get ready for bed yet. :001_huh: This is exactly what happens at our house. It is only one kid that does it. I don't mind if it is still light out (summer), but won't let them play if it's dark. The dinner thing bugs me, though. He told me once he doesn't eat until sometimes 10 or 11. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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