Is this situation awfully weird or am I just too overly cautious

[Parrothead]

The last couple of weeks the lady I have in has been trying to finagle a time out of me when she could come clean when no one would be home. I've been telling her that part of being a SAHM is the stay at home. I've no place to be for several hours in a row.

 

Today she called an hour before her scheduled time to come to the house and said she couldn't make it because her vehicle is out of commission. I was fine and said that I'd see her next week.

 

She said that if there was a time later this week that we wouldn't be home she would be happy to come in.

 

I explained that I had just not an hour ago rearranged our schedule (dog doesn't go to day care, guitar lessons late Friday afternoon, etc.) in order for us to buckle down and finish school in the next six weeks.

 

She quit on the spot. :confused: Her reasoning is that she does a better job if no one is in the house with her. She worries that someone will slip on a wet floor. :glare:

 

Of course now my radar is going nuts. She has been here possibly going through our stuff "casing the joint". I didn't follow her around the house when she worked.

 

Weird or should I be more worried about security? And to top it all off I have to find a new cleaning lady.

 

ETA: She came highly recommended by two different people. She seems to be a very nice religious (Baptist if it matters) woman. Hmmm... now I wonder if it is a Baptist/Catholic thing.

Edited April 18, 2012 by Parrothead

[AK_Mom4]

I don't think it's weird, but I actually had a cleaning lady quit because there was always someone home when she came to clean (my mom lived with us and I had toddlers). Her reasoning was that it slowed her down too much to work around us, meaning she could do fewer cleaning jobs in one day. I could respect that and we parted ways. The next lady I hired did not have the same issues - she just came in and got the work done regardless of who was here - very efficient.

 

I think you just need a different cleaning person. Sounds like the one you have doesn't like to have people watch her work.....

Edited April 18, 2012 by AK_Mom4

[akmommy]

That does seem strange. I don't think I'd be too upset about her quitting. I would be a little paranoid about someone I hardly know wanting to be in my home when I'm not home. If she had worked for me for a while and I trusted her I would have no problem leaving to take care of my errands, but someone insisting I leave would make me very suspicious. On the other hand I too do my best housework when I'm home alone, but I'm cleaning my own house and not someone else's.

[T'smom]

I think it's a little weird, but I don't think you have to worry about security or anything. It IS easier to clean when no one else is around, but to insist like that is odd.

[zookeeper]

When my mom was cleaning houses, she *preferred* to do it when nobody was home simply because she could get it done faster. If there was someone home, they would often want to chat and such and she was there to work. One house often had someone there for whatever reason and it wasn't a deal breaker.

 

Her insistence that nobody be home sounds kinda creepy as does the fact that she quit on the spot. I'm sure you'll find someone else quickly!!

[Ruby Rose]

Knowing people who have cleaning businesses, I know they prefer the client not be home while they clean. They are able to work more efficiently when no one is there. They do have elderly couples that they will work around but they know that they have to allow time for visiting those clients and they do it because they love and care about those clients.

[Catwoman]

Her insistence that nobody be home sounds kinda creepy as does the fact that she quit on the spot.

 

:iagree:

 

It's probably nothing, but it would creep me out, too.

[MrsBear]

I think it is probably harder to clean with someone in the room, but not just in the house. When my housekeeper comes, she starts downstairs and when she's done down there, she moves to upstairs and gets that done, then does the main floor and does the rooms we're not in first - once all that's done, I take the kids either to a room she's done or downstairs to play, sometimes I'll even take them outside so she can finish up without having to try to work around us...but unless we're out of town, we're usually here.

 

That said, she does come in when we're out of town. We leave a key with my FIL, she goes to pick it up on her cleaning day, then returns it when she's done...we leave her checks with FIL too so when she returns the key he gives her the envelope with that weeks date on it.

 

I look at it this way, if I can't trust her to clean when we're away, why in the world would I think I can trust her even when I'm home? It is trust - someone honest will not be tempted, even with lots of things just laying around - someone dishonest will steal right under your nose if an opportunity presents itself and considering I don't follow her around, there are plenty of opportunities even when I'm home.

[Parrothead]

Okay, so it could be a bit weird, but maybe not.

 

I will say that we were trying to work her into our routine since she came in the middle of a school day. Dd and I would have to find somewhere to stay while she cleaned. I didn't want to slow her down any more than necessary since it ends up costing me more since I paid her by the hour. I had no interest in chatting her up for 30 minutes.

 

Today I had planed that we go out on the front porch since it has warmed up here a bit.

 

Okay, so now I know about what to seek out in the next person.

[Ecclecticmum]

Its both lol.

 

On one side - That sort of behaviour does give one, reason to worry. Trying to consistently find a time where you would not be at home is curious and something to be wary of. As you said she could be wanting to "case the joint"

 

On the other hand - I am one of those people that doesn't like people to watch them work. I do a useless job of cleaning when hubby is around, but when he's at work, i can do what he calls "magic". I don't like people looking over my shoulder or constantly worrying about them thinking I am doing something wrong, or I missed a spot etc.

 

I once (a long time ago) had a job for about two weeks (temp job whilst searching) in a motel. I liked having the room to myself, cleaning up as I would. Then I had this supervisor breathing down my neck, watching everything I was doing, i made mistakes, became clumsy.

 

For you I would suggest just finding a new cleaner, and make sure you tell them beforehand that it will be a job where you will be home, so they have to work around your schooling etc. That way if they are the type that cannot do that, they can refuse before they start. House cleaners especially can have a rule where they do not clean for people who will be there for the cleaning period, mainly because of there years of experience, the most difficult jobs tend to be where the people are home (your not folding this right, that doesn't belong there etc) just as the homekeepers have their own way of doing things, so do the cleaners. My friend has had a house cleaning business for 10 years, she will take jobs where the person is "home" but its on a case by case basis. She usually won't take on new mothers or those who tend to have too many rules, as a generalisation, she has come to realize these types tend to cause her the most stress/headaches (She had one lady following her around, babe feeding, and telling her how to do every single thing (sink must be cleaned clockways towards drain, outer rim first), I think that was the last straw for her with having new contacts who had just had their first bub.

[Parrothead]

I think it is probably harder to clean with someone in the room, but not just in the house. When my housekeeper comes, she starts downstairs and when she's done down there, she moves to upstairs and gets that done, then does the main floor and does the rooms we're not in first - once all that's done, I take the kids either to a room she's done or downstairs to play, sometimes I'll even take them outside so she can finish up without having to try to work around us...but unless we're out of town, we're usually here.

 

That said, she does come in when we're out of town. We leave a key with my FIL, she goes to pick it up on her cleaning day, then returns it when she's done...we leave her checks with FIL too so when she returns the key he gives her the envelope with that weeks date on it.

 

I look at it this way, if I can't trust her to clean when we're away, why in the world would I think I can trust her even when I'm home? It is trust - someone honest will not be tempted, even with lots of things just laying around - someone dishonest will steal right under your nose if an opportunity presents itself and considering I don't follow her around, there are plenty of opportunities even when I'm home.

It isn't so much that I didn't trust her when I was away. She was here for the first 30 minutes alone last week. For me that is progress. It was her 4th week here, and I was getting comfortable with her.

 

It is that I have no place to go. Then to top if off, I can't let her let herself in if Baxter is home alone. He would try to eat her ankles.

[EKS]

I know that *I* prefer that no one be home when I clean, so I get where the woman is coming from. On the other hand, my radar would be going off like crazy too.

[gardenmom5]

Weird or should I be more worried about security? And to top it all off I have to find a new cleaning lady.

 

ETA: She came highly recommended by two different people. She seems to be a very nice religious (Baptist if it matters) woman. Hmmm... now I wonder if it is a Baptist/Catholic thing.

 

I understand a preferance to clean when no one is home - no one gets underfood - but to INSIST on it to that degree?

I don't care who recommended her - I'd start to seriously question their judgment. I'd be very nervous she was indeed casing the joint. has she ever had a key? if so, I'd change my locks. just because she gave a key back doesn't mean she didn't make copies when she had it.

Edited April 18, 2012 by gardenmom5

[QuirkyKapers]

My friend prefers people aren't home since it is harder to clean and takes longer. Also, it drives her nuts when she has cleaned something and it is dirty again before she even has left the house. However, she would clean with someone home if that is what the agreement was.

[Word Nerd]

I've never had a cleaning person, but no, it doesn't sound strange to me. When I was staying with my aunt and uncle, she and I went shopping when the cleaning lady was scheduled to come. I know that I greatly prefer to clean my own home when no one else is around so they're out of my hair and I can get to work.

 

It sounds like you have different expectations for what you want than she does. She has a right to her preferences just as you do, and because they don't mesh she isn't a good fit. I think it's as simple as that, and there's no reason to suspect her of bad motives.

[snickelfritz]

If she came highly recommended, then she might have her choice of jobs and gets to only keep the ones that are easier for her.

 

I have a person who cleans my house. She came highly recommended from friends. She has her choice of who she keeps. Twice, she has dropped houses to work other jobs. Both times, she filled her schedule back up as soon as she came back to cleaning. I called myself messy. She laughed and said, "No. I don't keep messy houses." I know she drops houses when owners are difficult, because she can. Btw...I'm not calling you difficult. :)

 

Anyway, I prefer to be gone and I can see why the cleaner prefers it. We have to be home, some, because the dogs can't stay outside that long. And there is a certain amount of re-dirtying that happens when people are around, no matter how hard they try.

 

So, I vote that your cleaner is probably a control-freak (aren't the best ones a little OCD?) about this issue.

Edited April 18, 2012 by snickelfritz

[magnificent_baby]

I find that very, very strange. I have had a few different cleaning ladies/services in the past and have never heard of that. I would take the kids in the basement while she was cleaning the upstairs.

 

I would not feel comfortable being gone unless I knew the person really well.

[Harriet Vane]

I have had zillions of cleaning ladies over the years, both professionals and folks who do it on the side. I have NEVER had anyone insist that I couldn't be in the home. I would be hideously uncomfortable with that.

[Parrothead]

I have had zillions of cleaning ladies over the years, both professionals and folks who do it on the side. I have NEVER had anyone insist that I couldn't be in the home. I would be hideously uncomfortable with that.

Thanks for the validation.

 

 

Cleaning lady 2 will be here next week.

[Remudamom]

Doesn't seem strange to me. Who wants to clean with a bunch of people in the way?

[elegantlion]

When we owned a cleaning company, I hated cleaning when people were home. I'm introverted and non-confrontational. Dh, otoh, is extroverted and I swear he loved the "audience".

 

She may feel very uncomfortable cleaning when someone is home. I worked around my discomfort because dh was there and quitting wasn't an option. She may be unwilling or unable to overcome her phobia.

 

I wouldn't think she is trying to case the house, I would think she has a weaknesses she is unable or unwilling to overcome.

[JessReplanted]

As someone who has cleaned houses before, it is quite miserable to clean a person's house while they are there and feel like they are watching you (not that you were - but it's easy to feel this way).

 

Unless there's a reason to be suspicious, I would assume that she quit just because it is not working out for her.

[besroma]

:iagree:

 

It's probably nothing, but it would creep me out, too.

 

:iagree:

[8circles]

I understand both sides - easier to clean alone but it also seems creepy. I would feel worried but rationally I think its no biggie.

 

ETA: She came highly recommended by two different people. She seems to be a very nice religious (Baptist if it matters) woman. Hmmm... now I wonder if it is a Baptist/Catholic thing.

This has me :confused:. Im not Baptist or Catholic. What am I missing?

[Tammyla]

My former neighbor had a cleaning service that required her to be out of the house for their insurance policy...

[Unicorn.]

I find it very strange, and wouldn't want her working for me. My "cleaning lady" is also my best friend, and even she isn't comfortable coming in if I'm not here. And this is the woman who feeds our pets when we are out of town. I do get that it's easier to clean w/out feeling like their are eyes on you, or people getting in your way, but to be so insistent about it, sends up red flags for me.

[Happy]

I had a cleaning couple come every two weeks for a while last fall. LOVED having them.

 

I would stay home long enough to let them in, share a pleasantry or two, then I ske-dattled...I took my laptop to the coffee shop and did work. I Christmas shopped. I ran errands. The first few times she texted me just as they were finishing so I could survey the results with her. Later on she and her husband left out the back door without locking. If we had been able to afford continuing with cleaning, I would have had a key made or given her a garage door code.

 

Almost every time she came, my 21 year old was home. He holed up in his room, but stayed available in case she had questions. His room was on the Do Not Clean list. I didn't have enough funds for a haz-mat team. lol

 

She did bathrooms, counters, dusted, vacuumed and mopped. The first time they came, they did windows. (sigh) If she encountered clutter (ahem, the coffee table...) she made neat piles of papers and books.

 

For your lady to outright refuse to clean without y'all home makes me uncomfortable. It was W.O.N.D.E.R.F.U.L. to come home to a clean--all the way clean house, but the insistance on empty makes me wonder.

 

Perhaps you could schedule a picnic/study day at the park from time to time.

 

Hope lady #2 works out for you!

[myfunnybunch]

It is hard to clean when everyone is home.

 

Some cleaners don't mind. Others do. I wouldn't assume anything beyond personal preference. When we had a woman come to our house to clean, she was happy to work around us, and we moved from room to room as she cleaned.

 

Just let the next person you hire know ahead of time that your presence in the home is not negotiable. :)

 

Cat

[Word Nerd]

When we owned a cleaning company, I hated cleaning when people were home. I'm introverted and non-confrontational. Dh, otoh, is extroverted and I swear he loved the "audience".

 

She may feel very uncomfortable cleaning when someone is home. I worked around my discomfort because dh was there and quitting wasn't an option. She may be unwilling or unable to overcome her phobia.

 

I wouldn't think she is trying to case the house, I would think she has a weaknesses she is unable or unwilling to overcome.

 

Off topic, but introversion is not a weakness. Preferring solitude over a crowd is not a phobia (though it could be). I highly recommend Susan Cain's book Quiet if you haven't already read it. :)

[catz]

When we owned a cleaning company, I hated cleaning when people were home. I'm introverted and non-confrontational. Dh, otoh, is extroverted and I swear he loved the "audience".

 

She may feel very uncomfortable cleaning when someone is home. I worked around my discomfort because dh was there and quitting wasn't an option. She may be unwilling or unable to overcome her phobia.

 

I wouldn't think she is trying to case the house, I would think she has a weaknesses she is unable or unwilling to overcome.

 

:iagree: I wouldn't feel defensive about it. We had a cleaning lady that always cleaned when we were gone. Most likely just a personal quirk. Good thing you parted ways.

[Parrothead]

I understand both sides - easier to clean alone but it also seems creepy. I would feel worried but rationally I think its no biggie.

 

 

This has me :confused:. Im not Baptist or Catholic. What am I missing?

A couple of whole other threads. :D

 

For some people it could be a problem mixing with/working for the "wrong sort of Christian."

[Cassy]

The last couple of weeks the lady I have in has been trying to finagle a time out of me when she could come clean when no one would be home. I've been telling her that part of being a SAHM is the stay at home. I've no place to be for several hours in a row.

 

Today she called an hour before her scheduled time to come to the house and said she couldn't make it because her vehicle is out of commission. I was fine and said that I'd see her next week.

 

She said that if there was a time later this week that we wouldn't be home she would be happy to come in.

 

I explained that I had just not an hour ago rearranged our schedule (dog doesn't go to day care, guitar lessons late Friday afternoon, etc.) in order for us to buckle down and finish school in the next six weeks.

 

She quit on the spot. :confused: Her reasoning is that she does a better job if no one is in the house with her. She worries that someone will slip on a wet floor. :glare:

 

Of course now my radar is going nuts. She has been here possibly going through our stuff "casing the joint". I didn't follow her around the house when she worked.

 

Weird or should I be more worried about security? And to top it all off I have to find a new cleaning lady.

 

ETA: She came highly recommended by two different people. She seems to be a very nice religious (Baptist if it matters) woman. Hmmm... now I wonder if it is a Baptist/Catholic thing.

 

This is very similar to a situation I had a year ago. This time it was two women who used to come to clean for two hours each week. During those two hours the boys and I would stay in the kitchen, which I said I'd clean myself, while they vacuumed and cleaned bathrooms. I paid them well, on time, took them cups of tea, thanked them profusely when they left. Then suddenly they kept letting me down on the day I expected them, and wanted to come at other times, finally they just didn't show up at all. I really couldn't imagine what the problem was, and in fact, by then I was totally fed up with being let down and was rather relieved to be rid of them. My main suspicion was, like yours, that they didn't like me being here all the time, and were possibly up to no good. I've never even bothered looking for anyone else to come to clean.

 

Cassy

[Parrothead]

 

Perhaps you could schedule a picnic/study day at the park from time to time.

 

Hope lady #2 works out for you!

Except when it is in negative temps and everything is covered in 4 feet of snow. ;)

 

We are in a small town in a remote area. The best I could come up with is to walk around Wal-mart for a couple hours. Ugh! Who wants to do that every week when there is school to do?

[justamouse]

Pfft. My mom had an awesome cleaning lady when I was in HS (she's still famous in the county) and she would work around us all the time.

[elegantlion]

Off topic, but introversion is not a weakness. Preferring solitude over a crowd is not a phobia (though it could be). I highly recommend Susan Cain's book Quiet if you haven't already read it. :)

 

Oh, I don't think they are. Believe me I am highly introverted and could be a hermit, but if I'm doing a job I've had to suck it up a few times. So from a personal side, I don't view introversion as either a phobia or weakness. However, if it is affecting your ability to work and earn a living, it could be considered either and is probably worthy of some self-reflection (BTDT).

[Chris in VA]

Could it maybe have also been that she wanted a consistent schedule so she could know when to block out time for other clients?

 

I hate when my dog walking clients are home. (I think I secretly am judging them--if they are home, they should walk their own d@mn dog. :lol:) But it's not the same with cleaning. Honest.

[LMA]

I would have asked her directly why she wanted the house empty and go from there. I wouldn't make any assumptions about how she was thinking.

[Catwoman]

The best I could come up with is to walk around Wal-mart for a couple hours. Ugh! Who wants to do that every week when there is school to do?

 

:iagree:

 

By the time you do that, you might as well just stay home and clean the house yourself... for free. :glare:

 

I hate cleaning, but I'm not about to let a housekeeper or a maid service tell me whether or not I'm allowed to be in my own home.

[misidawnrn]

I don't think it's weird, but I actually had a cleaning lady quit because there was always someone home when she came to clean (my mom lived with us and I had toddlers). Her reasoning was that it slowed her down too much to work around us, meaning she could do fewer cleaning jobs in one day. I could respect that and we parted ways. The next lady I hired did not have the same issues - she just came in and got the work done regardless of who was here - very efficient.

 

I think you just need a different cleaning person. Sounds like the one you have doesn't like to have people watch her work.....

 

I wonder if I told DH that I just can't clean when someone is home because it takes me too long, if he would induldge me and take the kids out for a few hours?:lol::lol::lol:

 

OP...I definately think it is weird! I am sure she prefers to clean alone but to up and quit because you will be home is weird!

[KrissiK]

My cleaning people prefer us not to be there, but they've never said so. I just know that I'm paying them $$ and if we were around they'd get nothing done and I'd still have to pay them. My children would fight and follow them around and talk to them and ask questions and all sorts of mayhem. We generally have stuff to do. Either go to the library or the park. I try to schedule dr. appts. for that time if I can. One day a homeschool activity was conveniently on that day. The nice thing is, it's a team and they are generally only there an hour, maybe a little longer. So, it's not like I have to fill up a whole afternoon. I completely understand the need for the house to be empty to clean it. If I could have a couple hours a week without the kids, I wouldn't have to pay someone to clean my house.

[kalanamak]

I think it's a little weird' date=' but I don't think you have to worry about security or anything. It IS easier to clean when no one else is around, but to insist like that is odd.[/quote']

 

:iagree:Sounds like she has plenty of work and can pick and chose. Maybe she likes to work with radio blaring speed metal.

[elegantlion]

:iagree:Sounds like she has plenty of work and can pick and chose. Maybe she likes to work with radio blaring speed metal.

 

Maybe she likes Swedish literary inspired death metal bands. :tongue_smilie:

[Desert Rat]

:iagree:

 

It's probably nothing, but it would creep me out, too.

 

:iagree: AND, I clean houses. I agree that it's nice when nobody's home, but that's so rare for me that I'm used to cleaning around. I clean for all elderly folks. I consider conversation and visiting as part of the service I provide. There are a couple of my houses that I'm the only visitor they get. I bring magazines and cookies sometimes, too.

 

It's not weird that she prefers a deserted house. What's weird is that she insists and then quits when you refuse. Find a new lady. Personally? As a cleaning lady, I think she wanted to snoop or steal. JMHO (See the other cleaning lady thread today where I said I have a "no opening doors" policy. There's a good reason for that.)

[Isabella]

My daughter cleans several houses, and she MUCH prefers to clean when they are not there. They will often be there when she comes, just to leave any special instructions. One client (a SAHM) makes a point of taking her kids to the movies while my dd is cleaning.

 

Yes, my dd would probably refuse a job where the family was going to be home, even if they were to spend the entire time on the front porch out of the way. She just works much more efficiently when they are not there - and she can feel comfortable to put music on loudly to work with. She knows that she would feel extra stress with others in the house, and therefore is not willing to load herself with unnecessary stress - hence she would refuse the job.

 

Once, when we were homeschooling, a lady (who was interested in hs'ing her son), asked if she could come for a few hours to observe our day. I said fine, but I can tell you - I felt completely unnatural doing what we always did with someone there. She wasn't right there - she just sat on the couch a little way off, but - it was just weird. I kind of think that may be how the housecleaner feels!

 

I can completely understand even when it comes to housecleaning my home - when I have a day alone at my house (rare!) I can get twice as much cleaning done! And when my husband is around the house, I only get half as much done! It really puts a spanner in my works to have him around, for some reason!

 

So, I would have no hesitation in saying that she was not at all 'casing' your place, but more probably has enough work that she can just choose the jobs that she likes better, and where she can work away without anyone there.

 

I would just mention to new applicants that you and the children will be home, and is that a problem?

[LaxMom]

FWIW, my in-laws have had the same cleaner for years and years, and everyone who's home when she gets there bails out. They just all feel weird lurking around the house, cluttering up "her" space while she works. It's like hanging around in someone's office while they do their work; it doesn't matter if you're quietly reading a book, you're still there. The only exception is when my MIL makes arrangements with her to do some heavy cleaning together.

 

I don't think she'd quit if they were home all the time, but I'm sure it slows her down and cramps her mojo when they are.

 

So, no, I don't think it's odd to want to work in solitude. I think her reaction is odd, though.

[Soror]

I used to do some cleaning and I agree with others I would feel uncomfortable with others there. If I had enough jobs I could choose I'd certainly just pick the ones easiest for me. It sounds like to me she was trying to subtly say she wanted to clean alone and when that didn't work she just quit, I'd just assume it was a preference.

[mommaduck]

Having been a nanny that also kept house, I have to say: though it's weird that she quit over it, I do get her point of it being easier when someone isn't home watching over your shoulder (that's how it can feel even if it's not the case). Some people are made for the housekeeper role and others are made just for the housecleaner role.