Samiam Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I am so exasperated with my DS13 right now. I expect boys of a certain age, maybe 10-11ish, not wanting to shower/take baths...it's not just not on their radar...but I really thought that at 13, it would be COMPLETELY on their radar to be clean and non-smelly. I have to SCHEDULE shower days for DS13 to ensure that he showers. So every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday he is required to shower. He is also required to shower any night that he has had sports practice, which now is pre-season baseball, so 2 additional nights. Boy, are those nights battles too "It's not the scheduled night!" or "I took one laaasst night" or "I haven't even sweated today!" I have to remind him on a regular basis to use deodorant. He's been wearing it for about 2 years, so this is not new to him. Still though, I will catch a whiff and OMG...really, don't you smell yourself!?!? Is this normal or am I just raising a true pig? I think perhaps if he was going to school and had that social stigma of being dirty, versus just hearing it from his mom, perhaps more of an effort would be made. But I really thought at this age he would want to be more clean, care more about it. He cares how he looks when we go out, to a degree, we've noticed he definately selects clothing with more thought when we are leaving the house. DH chimes in when he can, but he works 60 hours a week, and at nights, so usually he is not home during "battle time". Tonight was the last straw. Shower night...he's in and out in about, oh, 4 minutes. Uhh...no...that's not right. So he comes down stairs to prove his hair is wet...and it is on the front, but as he turns around, it's bone-dry in back. Swears up and down that he washed it and it's dry because he dried it....umm, no, he has thick hair and not only is it bone-dry, it's dirty/greasy looking. It's NOT WASHED!!! So he has to go back and shower and wash his hair. He's mad. In and out in about 4 minutes. Nope, not gonna work. Check it again, it's wet...but something is not right. The shower is wet, so he was in there at some point (probably the first time) but now the sink area is wet, the shampoo bottle is next to the sink...so the next time he just dunked his head into the sink. Yes, now he admits he just washed in the sink the 2nd time. So not going to work for me. He'll be showering tomorrow for real this time. But geez, really, is this normal? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I don't have a 13yo, but I'm right behind you. My boys take showers daily, usually in the morning. My youngest has always wanted to bathe daily. Ds11 takes them without my prompting. Both wear deoderant. Both put it on without reminding. Clean clothes daily, inlcuding pajamas. I do NOT think my kids are the norm. I have a brother and a nephew who both grew up smelly. My kids attend a pokemon club with lots of teenage boys. They all reek. I just think I've instilled in them that I don't like smelly kids and I don't feed smelly kids. Wanna eat? Be clean. They both take 10 minute showers and wash their hair daily. In the next year or so, I expect my ds11 will start smelling that funky boy smell regardless of the daily showers. Then I will change linens every other day including comforters and he will keep shoes, etc. outside. And he will probably be bathing twice a day, especially after sports. Yes, I'm a little OCD about the smelly thing. LOL Maybe try to implement daily showers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Normal hygiene for the teen crowd in this house is almost no hygiene. Seriously, my 17yo is just now getting the hang of it. LOL I have no problem doing random and frequent "SMELL your armpits RIGHT NOW!" drills on any and all stinky kids. Eventually they get it. I'm banking on it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyR Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Yeah sounds about normal. I have girls and its the same run around. Take your showers, put on deodorant. Ugh... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotAVampireLvr Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 my stomach turns at the thought of dealing with this in a few years. I have a very high gag reflex and a super sensitive nose, so personal hygiene WILL be a hill I die on lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyK Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 my 13 year old doesn't smell but his hair and face get greasy. I have to bug him to wash, shower, etc, even though he's always happy afterwards. I think it is normal. He is in school, so I don't think this is just a function of your son being at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Did you just say "hygiene" and "13 yo boy" in the same sentence? Does not compute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 It gets better once they discover girls. Ds showers, shaves, puts of deodorant, and even some hair goop these days. I really should thank the young lady responsible...though it is kind of annoying that I badgered him for years about his hygiene and all she did was bat her eyes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Normal. It'll get better. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bassoonaroo Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Did you just say "hygiene" and "13 yo boy" in the same sentence? Does not compute. You beat me to it - what an oxymoron! It's time for NIGHTLY showers. Not that he totally needs it for hygiene but he needs to make it a habit, so that not taking a shower will "feel wrong" to him. It takes two decades for that to click in. We have three teens and one nearly teen. They all get greasy and stinky and all but one need reminders. Sometimes, my ds (also 13) asks, "Can I have (some fun food or privilege)?" and my usual reply (especially after shower time) is "Only if you have your Speed Stick on." His eyes get big and he runs back upstairs, comes down a minute later to have whatever it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsmith Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Did you just say "hygiene" and "13 yo boy" in the same sentence? Does not compute. :iagree: If left to his own devices, my son would wear the same clothes for over a week, without showering, brushing teeth, or putting on deoderant. He is an annoyingly fussy hand washer though. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Running the race Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Yup. I have to tell my 13yo AND 15yo to take showers. It is frustrating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
datgh Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 When my son was thirteen he played on the middle school basketball team. He had a team mate who was constantly "over ripe". You seriously could not be to close to this kid. The boys on the team looked at him as the secret weapon. They would have him rebounding under the opposing teams basket figuring no one would go against him because of the odor. My son never forgot that and has not given me any problems at all in the showering and deoderent department. My currently 13 year old DD is another problem.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 It gets better once they discover girls. Ds showers, shaves, puts of deodorant, and even some hair goop these days. I really should thank the young lady responsible...though it is kind of annoying that I badgered him for years about his hygiene and all she did was bat her eyes. Yeah, this. :glare: Dss couldn't have cared less about showering last year when he was in middle school. He had to be badgered into it. Now he's 14, a freshman in highschool, and popular with the girls. Yeah, he showers every day without nary a reminder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine State Sue Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 (edited) It gets better once they discover girls. Ds showers, shaves, puts of deodorant, and even some hair goop these days. I really should thank the young lady responsible...though it is kind of annoying that I badgered him for years about his hygiene and all she did was bat her eyes. :iagree: Ds bathes 2x a day. But, there was a long while where soap/shampoo had nothing to do with the bath. You could always threaten with "If you can't do it right the first time, *I'll* do it for you." :cursing: Edited January 20, 2012 by Sue in St Pete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Normal, frustrating but normal. Soon though, he will be taking long showers and lots of them.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Yep. Normal here. I've been assured that it gets better. I haven't seen it yet. *sigh* My only one that showers spontaneously is the almost 7 year old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunshine State Sue Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 When my son was thirteen he played on the middle school basketball team. He had a team mate who was constantly "over ripe". You seriously could not be to close to this kid. The boys on the team looked at him as the secret weapon. They would have him rebounding under the opposing teams basket figuring no one would go against him because of the odor. :lol: I remember having to drive home with the windows rolled down and my head hanging halfway out the window because of the reek after basketball. The shoes were the worst! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 (edited) If left to his own devices, my son would wear the same clothes for over a week, without showering, brushing teeth, or putting on deoderant. He is an annoyingly fussy hand washer though. :confused: :eek: Oh my--I thought mine was the only one! :lol: ETA: I think my older ds was nearly 15 before he decided to take showers and use deodorant on his own. But he's not as stinky as the younger one who, at 13yo, must be reminded daily. Except for the handwashing, of course. ;) Edited January 20, 2012 by Cinder Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalmia Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Same stubborn anti-cleanliness stance with my 12 year old. Especially frustrating is pretending to wash his hair. One day my mom was caring for the kids and put shampoo in his hair as if she were washing it, not just a dab on top while he was still clothed before he got in the shower. Then he HAD TO at least rinse it all out. So that is what I do. All my friends with older boys say you have to wait until they discover girls, then the hygiene battles will be over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted January 20, 2012 Author Share Posted January 20, 2012 Thanks ladies....I was for sure thinking that somehow I had done this boy wrong....not only have we failed to learn Spanish in the early years, but somewhere I'd dropped the ball on how not to stink. And to think, this was my child who loved to take hour long baths when he was a little boy. Sadly, it's nice to hear that it's relatively normal to be a dirty, gross 13 year old. Sigh, guess it's a ongoing battle. Maybe I will start to include in my nightly prayers that some cute girl tells my son he stinks. Bet that would turn his thought around on showers, haha!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I've been through three 13 year old boys and I would say it's very normal. I had one son who would get in the shower and then stand in the back so he didn't get wet!:glare: Another would shower, but didn't seem to know about soap. My dad was a middle school teacher and coach for 40 years and he just laughed when I told him and said that's pretty normal. He taught science and health and he said he had to do basic hygiene lessons frequently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
herkey6 Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 It gets better once they discover girls. Ds showers, shaves, puts of deodorant, and even some hair goop these days. I really should thank the young lady responsible...though it is kind of annoying that I badgered him for years about his hygiene and all she did was bat her eyes. Get used to this!!! My problem was with my DD. When she was about 13 I often had to send her to wash and change clothes (still not sure HOW to get that smell out of shirts!!). She is 16 now, and w/o prompting takes a shower every night. So, it may be a stinky year, but don't worry, he will change! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I am so exasperated with my DS13 right now. I expect boys of a certain age, maybe 10-11ish, not wanting to shower/take baths...it's not just not on their radar...but I really thought that at 13, it would be COMPLETELY on their radar to be clean and non-smelly. I have to SCHEDULE shower days for DS13 to ensure that he showers. So every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday he is required to shower. He is also required to shower any night that he has had sports practice, which now is pre-season baseball, so 2 additional nights. Boy, are those nights battles too "It's not the scheduled night!" or "I took one laaasst night" or "I haven't even sweated today!" I have to remind him on a regular basis to use deodorant. He's been wearing it for about 2 years, so this is not new to him. Still though, I will catch a whiff and OMG...really, don't you smell yourself!?!? Is this normal or am I just raising a true pig? I think perhaps if he was going to school and had that social stigma of being dirty, versus just hearing it from his mom, perhaps more of an effort would be made. But I really thought at this age he would want to be more clean, care more about it. He cares how he looks when we go out, to a degree, we've noticed he definately selects clothing with more thought when we are leaving the house. DH chimes in when he can, but he works 60 hours a week, and at nights, so usually he is not home during "battle time". Tonight was the last straw. Shower night...he's in and out in about, oh, 4 minutes. Uhh...no...that's not right. So he comes down stairs to prove his hair is wet...and it is on the front, but as he turns around, it's bone-dry in back. Swears up and down that he washed it and it's dry because he dried it....umm, no, he has thick hair and not only is it bone-dry, it's dirty/greasy looking. It's NOT WASHED!!! So he has to go back and shower and wash his hair. He's mad. In and out in about 4 minutes. Nope, not gonna work. Check it again, it's wet...but something is not right. The shower is wet, so he was in there at some point (probably the first time) but now the sink area is wet, the shampoo bottle is next to the sink...so the next time he just dunked his head into the sink. Yes, now he admits he just washed in the sink the 2nd time. So not going to work for me. He'll be showering tomorrow for real this time. But geez, really, is this normal? Hygiene gets on their radar about the same time as girls. At that point, whatever you've been nagging about for all this time will suddenly be recalled and implemented. Until then, nag away! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura in MI Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 It gets better once they discover girls. Ds showers, shaves, puts of deodorant, and even some hair goop these days. I really should thank the young lady responsible...though it is kind of annoying that I badgered him for years about his hygiene and all she did was bat her eyes. :iagree: Ds 17 was the same way until a girl came along..:glare: My teen dd's don't have to be reminded though, they're hygiene freaks like their mom :D Dss12 surprisingly takes showers daily (during the week at least) without being reminded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BatmansWife Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 My son is 16 and he's required to shower 6 days a week (I give him a freebie on Saturday if we aren't going anywhere :001_smile: ). He takes a class at the high school 5 days a week so it's mandatory that he showers in the morning before I bring him up there. There is no.way. that my kid will be the stinky, dirty, greasy-haired kid at the school. If I didn't require him to shower, he wouldn't and then he would be that kid. During winter break, when he didn't have to go to the school, I didn't tell him to shower. I kinda wanted to see if he'd just do it on his own. Nope. By day 7 I about threw him in there. I wonder how many times in his life I've had to ask him, "Did you put on your deodorant?" I'm sure it's about a million by now. Every.single.day I must ask him this. Maybe you could tell ds that if he doesn't start doing a better job (a job approved by you) of washing his hair then you'll have to start washing his hair in the sink for him (dont' worry....I bet he won't want that to happen :001_smile: ). And, if he doesn't do a better job at washing himself in the shower, then once he's in and the curtain is closed....you have the right to stand in the bathroom and wait for him. Sounds extreme....and I know you won't want to do it. But...sometimes threats help. ;) Bribes do, so why not threats? :D If he keeps giving you troubles about his shower not being on the schedule that day or whatever....then maybe he'll need to be scheduled daily. When my dd was in her early teens that was the first thing listed on her daily school schedule "Shower". If it wasn't daily scheduled she wouldn't do it. And she needed it. I volunteer for a reading program at the library 2 times a week and one particular boy (age 9 or 10) reeks so bad I just can.not stand.it. :eek: I can not for the life of me understand how his mother (or him) can't smell him and know that it's so offensive. I really feel badly for his teacher and the kids that have to sit by this kid in his class. To bad, too, because he's a nice kid. I'm just about at the point where I think I may have to tell the director of the program that I just can not be paired up with this boy anymore. I'm trying to determine if this request would be rude. But.....holy cow!!!!! :ack2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmoe Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 normal, normal, normal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I've been lucky with my now 12.5 year old ds, he showers daily, sometimes twice and isn't in any sports. It all stemmed from one day a few months ago. He had been outside playing on the trampoline and we had to take younger ds to gymnastics. On the ride I smelled something Foul and said "do any of you smell something, it's like old gym socks and onions?" My son then pipes in with "oh, sorry I think that's me." During the class he came to me and said "mom can we stop at target for some soap and deodorant for teens, I think I need them now, some people are looking at me funny?" I felt bad for him but was glad he came to it on his own. Now if I could just get his 10 year old sister who inherited her moms greasy hair if not washed every other day problem to shower and wash her hair more often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Did you just say "hygiene" and "13 yo boy" in the same sentence? Does not compute. :iagree: I taught middle school and sometimes the smell in my classroom....... *shudder*. :iagree: If left to his own devices, my son would wear the same clothes for over a week, without showering, brushing teeth, or putting on deoderant. He is an annoyingly fussy hand washer though. :confused: The hand washing thing is cracking me up.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 (edited) . Edited January 21, 2012 by jadedone80 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 My son used to have a bedroom in the basement. Just opening the door to the basement was enough to knock you out. It was unbelievable and he showered on a regular basis. It gets better about the time they notice girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 :iagree: I taught middle school and sometimes the smell in my classroom....... *shudder*. Hey, that's how I know too! At one point, the middle school where I worked almost ended up with an all female staff and we all panicked that there would be no male teacher to take the worst offenders aside and give them a little lecture. I swear, there were always a few every year year who were so funky smelling, they needed teacher intervention. The things they don't tell you you'll have to teach! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iamblessed Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 LOL! Bought a shower soap/deo/shampoo combo for my 14 and 12 year old young men for Christmas. 14 yo has the hang of this but I really did not expect my 12 yo to be as excited about this gift as he was! He went and took a shower right away-totally blew me away! Of course I made a big deal about how nice he smelled :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 You could always threaten with "If you can't do it right the first time, *I'll* do it for you." :cursing: Definitely!! This works like a charm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I was spoiled by my oldest. When he was 12 or 13 hygiene suddenly became important, and he started using deoderant and showering every day. I assumed the same would happen with my second, but no. He has to be reminded to take showers. Fortunately, he's a compliant child and does it without argument. My youngest hates showers, though. I only require it 2 days a week for him, but I still have to remind him over and over again on those days. I can imagine that he'll be just like your son when he's a teenager. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Normal. We require showers every day after puberty, because it reduces the scheduling arguments. It will turn around when they start to have romantic feelings towards someone. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Sounds normal to me. This past year he's starting to say things like "shouldn't we take showers tonight....?" although he still will say "Deodorant? But I just took a shower?" -sigh- so clearly there's still work to be done. I'm trying very hard to get both my older boys to realize deodorant is one of those things like brushing teeth when you wake up...... Anyway, he turned 14 six months ago, so...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Normal. Keep badgering, especially when they are going somewhere. I do a couple of teen activities at my house on a regular basis, and oh how I wish some of the parents would do a better job of badgering! The teen stank can come on quickly, no sweating required, so it is really crucial to shower before leaving the house. Yes, even if they showered yesterday, and all they did today was sit at the table in the a/c and do schoolwork. For the record, it's not always the boys. The girls can get their stink on, too. Plus, I just cringe for the poor girls who don't realize that even a daily shower may not be enough during their period. Some people require additional washing of the private areas during this time. It's not a bad smell, like the body odor stank, but it's distinct and I'm sure they aren't aware. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Hygiene was a constant battle at that age. It's better now at 17. However, he'll come home from the gym and not shower unless he's going out. Apparently, hygiene is reserved for other people, you don't need to smell good around mom. Generally, he showers daily, but that might not be right after working out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I have these battles with 2 of my kids. My 24ds has fetal alcohol and is much like a 12 year old boy. He WILL take a shower on occ. without prompting BUT............goes in there with NO clean clothes and honestly expects to put on the SAME clothes, UNDIES too after the shower................ Deo is still a battle as is shaving, things we have been doing for YEARS AND YEARS. 15dd is also a battle. I thought with a girl by now it would be done. She sees NO NEED to wash her "shiny smooth" AKA OILY STRINGY hair. She needs a shower at least every other day and she starts gym class next week so it will be more often. Only my 16dd doesn't give me a fit but she has a lot of special needs and waist length super thick hair so I have to help her wash and condition it at least every other shower. She tries but can't get it all clean and rinsed. Someday maybe this battle will be over....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 I don't think it's unusual but it is time to crackdown. We generally take this age to mandate daily showers, shaving and deodorant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pitterpatter Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 Judging from the greasy looks of my cousins...normal. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawn On the Border Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 My ds13 doesn't take showers unless I make him. He knows he is supposed to take a shower and wash his hair every other day, but he won't do it until I make him. On vacation at a friend's house, I lost track and he told his friend that he hadn't taken a shower in 4 days! It does get better- slowly. Ds16 does take a shower most school days without discussion, but on the weekends he is a wreck. He won't shower or use deodorant. He doesn't even want to change his clothes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted January 20, 2012 Share Posted January 20, 2012 sounds like my 9 yr old..... :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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