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My sister is dying of cancer....


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My sister died of breast cancer when I was 16. She was 27. I'm glad that everyone is being honest about the possibility of little time being left - that way you can make the most of it. When my sister was dying everyone was so upbeat and positive - I never thought she would die. In the end, I didn't even get to say good-bye.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I am so sorry, Sarah. It's horrible not getting to say goodbye. I didn't get to say goodbye to my brother, either, and it still haunts me.

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My oldest sister who is 50 just found out that she has a fast growing breast cancer. She is either stage 3 or 4 and doesn't have long at all. It spread so quickly that chemo will only buy her some time. I'm in shock, I'm sad, I'm scared. I am only 33 years old, but will now have to monitored and have yearly mammograms. I'm afraid for my sister. I don't know why I'm pouring this out here on you all at this time of year. Prayers please for us all. If you aren't religious, then positive thoughts please.

 

Has it spread to other organs? That is stage 4. Depending on which organs and how complicated the involvement is, stage 4 can still be beat back into a chronic illness.

 

Stage 3 is still curable--(depending on the type of cancer) not just remission, but cure. Stage 3 means it is in the lymph nodes, but no where else.

 

I have a friend who has been at stage 4 for years. One oncologist gave up on her and a friend got her to see another one a number of years ago, who not only didn't give up on her, but has maintained her health. The first was an oncologist at a very reputable local hospital. The second was an oncologist at a comprehensive cancer center. But even at comprehensive centers, there are good docs and not so good ones. Don't take the first opinion as a death sentence.

 

It doesn't sound like you have very complete info. Perhaps your sister doesn't either. Did she go to a comprehensive cancer treatment center? If not, urge her to go to one. The fast growing cancers are often ones that respond to treatment really well. For instance, her-2 cancers are very aggressive, fast-growing breast cancers, but have great response to treatment because there is a targeted biological agent called herceptin that is incredibly effective in nailing them.

 

People react differently to chemo--she may have a really good response. Don't give up seeking a physician who can treat her or at the least refer her to a trial. Find out what kind of cancer she has (get the specifics--name of the cancer--is it her2 positive or negative, estrogen positive or negative, etc.) Get the stage. If she is stage 4, find out what organs it has metastasized to. Then, research on reputable sites such as Susan Komen, cancer.org, etc.

 

Where does your sister live?

Edited by Laurie4b
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Has it spread to other organs? That is stage 4. Depending on which organs and how complicated the involvement is, stage 4 can still be beat back into a chronic illness.

 

Stage 3 is still curable--(depending on the type of cancer) not just remission, but cure. Stage 3 means it is in the lymph nodes, but no where else.

 

I have a friend who has been at stage 4 for years. One oncologist gave up on her and a friend got her to see another one a number of years ago, who not only didn't give up on her, but has maintained her health. The first was an oncologist at a very reputable local hospital. The second was an oncologist at a comprehensive cancer center. But even at comprehensive centers, there are good docs and not so good ones. Don't take the first opinion as a death sentence.

 

It doesn't sound like you have very complete info. Perhaps your sister doesn't either. Did she go to a comprehensive cancer treatment center? If not, urge her to go to one. The fast growing cancers are often ones that respond to treatment really well. For instance, her-2 cancers are very aggressive, fast-growing breast cancers, but have great response to treatment because there is a targeted biological agent called herceptin that is incredibly effective in nailing them.

 

People react differently to chemo--she may have a really good response. Don't give up seeking a physician who can treat her or at the least refer her to a trial. Find out what kind of cancer she has (get the specifics--name of the cancer--is it her2 positive or negative, estrogen positive or negative, etc.) Get the stage. If she is stage 4, find out what organs it has metastasized to. Then, research on reputable sites such as Susan Komen, cancer.org, etc.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

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Even stage 4 is not an immediate death sentence. Many women live for years at stage 4. Some go into remission for years; some are dealing with a chronic disease, getting chemo regularly to keep the site of the metastasis from growing. As long as there is not an inoperable tumor left after radiation and chemo, there is likely something that can be done.

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Has it spread to other organs? That is stage 4. Depending on which organs and how complicated the involvement is, stage 4 can still be beat back into a chronic illness.

 

Stage 3 is still curable--(depending on the type of cancer) not just remission, but cure. Stage 3 means it is in the lymph nodes, but no where else.

 

I have a friend who has been at stage 4 for years. One oncologist gave up on her and a friend got her to see another one a number of years ago, who not only didn't give up on her, but has maintained her health. The first was an oncologist at a very reputable local hospital. The second was an oncologist at a comprehensive cancer center. But even at comprehensive centers, there are good docs and not so good ones. Don't take the first opinion as a death sentence.

 

It doesn't sound like you have very complete info. Perhaps your sister doesn't either. Did she go to a comprehensive cancer treatment center? If not, urge her to go to one. The fast growing cancers are often ones that respond to treatment really well. For instance, her-2 cancers are very aggressive, fast-growing breast cancers, but have great response to treatment because there is a targeted biological agent called herceptin that is incredibly effective in nailing them.

 

People react differently to chemo--she may have a really good response. Don't give up seeking a physician who can treat her or at the least refer her to a trial. Find out what kind of cancer she has (get the specifics--name of the cancer--is it her2 positive or negative, estrogen positive or negative, etc.) Get the stage. If she is stage 4, find out what organs it has metastasized to. Then, research on reputable sites such as Susan Komen, cancer.org, etc.

 

Where does your sister live?

 

Thank you for all of the wonderful info! I will pass it along and hope for a miracle.

 

She lives in Rhode Island, as do I.

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Thank you for all of the wonderful info! I will pass it along and hope for a miracle.

 

She lives in Rhode Island, as do I.

 

https://cissecure.nci.nih.gov/factsheet/FactSheetSearch1_2.aspx

 

You can go here and look for the nearest comprehensive cancer center. It doesn't look like there is one in RI. The nearest ones are in Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and New York. However, if a patient must travel, the docs at the comprehensive centers will often design a plan that can be implemented at a smaller hospital.

 

Again, it doesn't look like RI even has a cancer center, let alone a comprehensive cancer center, so I would encourage your sister to go for an evaluation at one of the comprehensive centers. The prognosis could change quite a bit.

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  • 1 month later...
https://cissecure.nci.nih.gov/factsheet/FactSheetSearch1_2.aspx

 

You can go here and look for the nearest comprehensive cancer center. It doesn't look like there is one in RI. The nearest ones are in Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and New York. However, if a patient must travel, the docs at the comprehensive centers will often design a plan that can be implemented at a smaller hospital.

 

Again, it doesn't look like RI even has a cancer center, let alone a comprehensive cancer center, so I would encourage your sister to go for an evaluation at one of the comprehensive centers. The prognosis could change quite a bit.

:iagree::iagree:

It would be more than worth it to go to Boston or NYC's Sloan Kettering.

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I'm so sorry. I'm praying for you and your sister. My mother and my grandmother and my great-grandmother all had breast cancer. (They all lived into their 80's, and my mother who first had cancer at age 42 is now 82.) I have mammograms and MRI's yearly. I'm glad I can be watched carefully.

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I have been wondering how she is doing, too, and praying for a positive update. :grouphug:

 

I know that you recently posted that she lost her hair from the chemo, and that you said that if she could live without her hair, you could too, so I know she's still fighting.

 

You sound like such a great sister.

Edited by Catwoman
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