Did You? Are We Unreasonable?

[Word Nerd]

We called my parents and my in-laws both times before we went to the hospital, but I think this is clearly an area where the parents' discretion and preferences (especially the parent who's in labor!) take precedence over anything else. Whether others find the decision about when to call "reasonable" is a secondary concern.

[MariannNOVA]

You call whoever you want! Or NOT!!!!!

 

When she got her kids, she decided who to call. She's had her turn.

 

Now it's yours.

 

(Don't call her 'til you're good & ready for her to show up.)

 

I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for THAT phone call.:lol:

[DesertDweller]

We called our families when I was in labor. Both times if I'm remembering correctly. Mainly our moms and then phone calls were made by them and word got around. Only a few family members lived close when ds was born. Just my parents lived nearby when dd was born. I remember having some family members outside the door during labor with ds. I think dh sent them down to a waiting area.

 

I would hope to get a call if my dd or dil was in labor and headed to the hospital, but then I'm not the kind of mom that would run down there immediately and hang out in the labor room or just outside the door. I would probably have them call to let us know how things were progressing or when the baby was born. Then, I would go to the hospital.

 

But, everyone is different. It is ultimately your decision and you should be able to handle things the way you want. That's ridiculous to hold a grudge against someone for something like that.

[MrsBasil]

I was waiting for labor in the hospital for a day or two. I didn't mind my parents visiting(they are the only who are close enough to drop by), but once things started happening the expectation by all of us is that they would get out.

 

We called everyone once we got to the hospital, but I think it depends on the family, the mother, and how good a bouncer your DH and nurses are.

 

I also have a sane, supportive, and mostly sensible family and in laws. They respect my boundaries just as I respect theirs. If I didn't, well that's a different story.

 

At one point my MIL expressed an interest in coming early and being in the room for the birth, because she has no daughters(and my kids will be her only grandkids) and wanted that experience. It wouldn't have worked for me, so I told DH no. No drama, no tears. On the opposite side of the coin, I would have been OK with my mom being there a little more, but that's outside her comfort level. So again, that's just fine.

 

I can see not calling your MIL is the extra phone calls would be stressful. I'd let your DH deal with it. Maybe there's a way to have the hospital not route calls to your room and not give out your room number, but if she can be difficult that's not a chance you may want to take. ((Hugs)). Have the birth you think will be healthiest for the baby and you.

[Impish]

I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for THAT phone call.:lol:

Bwah hahahaha!

 

She lives a plane ride away, so no worries about her showing up...

 

We hope.

 

At least not in time for the hospital, anyways. :001_huh:

[rgrin]

My in-laws used to get together every Sunday for lunch, 50+ people strong! They are the "whole clan waiting-room campout" type. With our first, my water broke in the a.m., and we called around 10a.m. to let them know that we were in the hospital. They were miffed that we hadn't called hours before, but they started the phone tree anyway. By lunchtime, I had seen my in-laws and several sets of Aunts and Uncles who had somehow missed the meaning of "stay in the waiting room, I don't want visitors." By supper, they started me on Stadol. DH didn't understand why I kept saying, "Get them out! This isn't a restaurant!" I was dreaming/hallucinating that they had set up a pot-luck buffet table along the birthing room wall for the family and nursing staff! My in-laws gave up trying to get into the room, but managed to camp out for hours in the hallway outside the door despite hospital policy! :angry:

 

For my second child, I told my doula and DH that I would not allow them in the room or even the hallway. The in-laws weren't happy at my request, but I'm pretty sure they planned on ignoring it once we were too busy to notice. Well, we were at their house for dinner when my contractions started. I pretended there was nothing going on. When we left for the hospital at 3 a.m., we called and dropped off DS1 at their house and said we'd call and let them know if/when we're admitted. My water hadn't broken, and the nurses nearly didn't admit us until they checked and I was at 8 cm. While I was rushed into a room, DH called his parents and gave them the speech I had prepared. "She's being admitted, but her water hasn't even broken yet. I mean, her last labor was what, 14 hours? So... go ahead and let DS sleep and get breakfast before heading here." Myd doula didn't even have time to get to the hospital before DS2 was born. Forty-five minutes from arrival at the hospital, with only 4 pushes, DH and I were blessedly alone in the room with our new DS2. The in-laws arrived at the hospital by 6 a.m., upset that they had missed the show, but we had truly appreciated the time without them, and I was a MUCH less stressed mama.

 

Do what you have to. If there's a way to keep the peace, do it. But don't feel bad about disrespecting them when they refuse to respect you in your time of need.

[AHASRADA]

My MIL lives out of the country, so we've always called her after the baby was born. My parents, though, are with me every step of the way, through labor, at the hospital and my mom has been by my side during each delivery (well, except for our little "caboose" dd, whom she actually delivered herself!)

 

I am sure if my MIL lived nearby we would certainly inform her that we were headed to the hospital, and she would be welcome in the waiting room, maybe a brief visit during labor, and welcomed into the room to see the baby immediately after the birth. MIL and I are very close, but she would know it is my mother's place to be with me during the birth, not hers.

 

Of course, it depends on the family dynamics and relationship. I can understand a MIL being hurt, though, if her DIL's parents (the other grandparents) were informed beforehand and she wasn't. If no one else was informed, then she has no case. She might have liked to have known, but this is obviously the family's choice of privacy, and she was not being singled out.

[arghmatey]

Baby 1) My husband and mother were there. Not sure who DH called. Didn't care. Allowed visitors after the birth. Tons. Even had a work meeting for a political campaign in the hospital room. Did not receive visitors at home for a few weeks.

 

Baby 2) My husband was there. My mother knew because she watched DD1. I sent announcements from the hospital. Allowed my parents and daughter to visit. Company ready first day home.

 

Future children) Husband will be there. Will possibly allow mother and children visit. Will call no one. Always company ready upon arrival home.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I'd only call people who would be helpful - either to watch my kids, help me in labor, or pray for me. Nobody else needs to know, least of all meddling, interfering people who have earned my mistrust.

 

ETA:

 

With ds#1 - just dh. I think I called my mom to let her know I was going in, but I knew she would respect my boundaries.

 

With dh#2 - dh was at the hospital, but we called my mom to watch ds and FIL to pray.

 

With dd#3, just dh and the midwife. We called my mom and FIL to watch the kids (each had to have an adult with the homebirth.) I had friends who I would not have minded having there, but things went too fast. Dh put a signal out to the neighbors because they were on "strange car alert" for my homebirth;).

 

We are fortunate not to have any meddling relatives who show up unannounced/uninvited or bothered us with phone calls. I think the mom should have a protective cocoon around her during labor and be protected from invasive or annoying people so she can do her work in peace.

Edited October 20, 2011 by dirty ethel rackham

[AuntieM]

Bwah hahahaha!

 

She lives a plane ride away, so no worries about her showing up...

 

We hope.

 

At least not in time for the hospital, anyways. :001_huh:

 

Sorry if I sounded really mean when I first typed that, but we've heard enough stories about your MIL, Imp, to know how she stresses you out.

[Impish]

I can understand a MIL being hurt, though, if her DIL's parents (the other grandparents) were informed beforehand and she wasn't. If no one else was informed, then she has no case. She might have liked to have known, but this is obviously the family's choice of privacy, and she was not being singled out.

I agree with you on that. If my parents were going to be called, MIL would be too. Fair is fair.

 

But we don't call anyone.

[forty-two]

Induced with dd5 & ds0, and both our parents knew ahead of time. They all live very far away, so no worries about them showing up at the hospital, though they have good boundaries in any case (my mom was here for ds0, but she was watching dd5 and dd2.5 at our house, and had no intention of taking the crew into downtown Chicago - if I'd wanted them there, dh would have had to drive). Dd2.5 was a hb, and I didn't call anyone but mw and dh until after she was born (and dh still missed the birth :glare:). Mom was there, watching dd5, and she might have called my dad, but I've no idea - I was otherwise occupied ;).

[Impish]

I'd only call people who would be helpful - either to watch my kids, help me in labor, or pray for me. Nobody else needs to know, least of all meddling, interfering people who have earned my mistrust. Sometimes, grudges can be a good thing. They can keep undesirable people away! Shall I call her and tell her to take a flying leap?

Nah, Wolf can have that pleasure :tongue_smilie:

Sorry if I sounded really mean when I first typed that, but we've heard enough stories about your MIL, Imp, to know how she stresses you out.

No worries!

[Josie]

you have absolutely no right to be notified or present for delivery. If you want someone there you can call. If you don't then that is your right. Just my $.02!

 

Get a life, dear MIL, or mother, or sister, or BF, or ETC.!

[Lolly]

I cannot imagine not calling the grandparents to be. In our case, one set was keeping the other kids after the firstborn anyway. Even with the firstborn, we called both sets in the middle of the night to let them know we were going in. (Had no idea she would be born; she was preterm.) They all knew better than to show up at the hospital. (Well, except with the last. I asked my mom to be there with me for his birth, and he actually waited until he was supposed to come!)

[twoxcell]

Well I was induced with all four of mine, so yes we let my mom and MIL both know. They knew when I was going in to be induced, and my dh called them both when I hit transition. One or both of them always had some or all of my other dc. If I had gone into labor then we would have called both my mom and my MIL.

[Aurelia]

I didn't want anyone but DH there, so he called everyone after Ariel was born. Most weren't too upset because it was a "surprise" c-section (the afternoon before, at my last doctor's appointment, the doctor discovered the baby was breech. How she had missed that for at least a month, I don't know. Any wonder I only have one child?) I was scheduled for a c-section two days later, but instead went into labor that night and DD was born before dawn. Since there was nothing anyone could do, we let everyone sleep, although to be honest, even if it hadn't been a c-section, I don't think we would have called.

[dani3boys]

We called everyone at about 10 pm with our first. They all stayed in the waiting room for the most part. My MIL & BIL stood by the door for a while to see if they could hear me screaming and were disappointed when I didn't. My FIL brought a bowl of chili for my dh to eat. They heated it up in the microwave in my room. I was ticked because I was already nauseous enough!

For the twins, I was scheduled to be induced, so everyone was there again. This time I let my MIL in the room, partially to prove that I could have two babies without screaming. We were in a sterile room in case an emergency c-section was needed, so she was up by my head the whole time.

[tabrizia]

Impish in your case I would call after the baby is here, like a month or three afterwards.

 

That being said, I posted on my blog and facebook when I was in labor and heading to the hospital for both #2 and #3. For #1 my Mom was staying with us, and she and my in-laws were there for the labor. For #2 and #3 DH did call my in-laws and parents when I was in active labor. He had to call his parents since they were staying with the small one(s) while I was in the hospital, so they had to be there.

[Parker Martin]

We call when we go to the hospital, but no one comes, unless I ask, until after the birth. I was induced with both of my births, so they were long days. I did ask some people to come before the births just to give me something to do in the hospital room. (I hate TV.)

 

Everybody comes in the room about one to two hours after the birth.

 

ETA: They stay about 20 minutes or so. No one stays long because they figure that mom and baby are ready for some rest and relaxation. Plus, the hospital takes the baby about that time for the newborn testing and a bath. The baby returns when they're finished.

[Lacie]

It's up to the parents. Some people want to have family and friends waiting at the hospital for news that the baby was born. Others might want to have some private time for close family and then get visits from family and friends after Mommy has had a little time to rest.

 

There is no right or wrong. I'm sorry she is giving you more trouble.

[momofkhm]

Ok, question for the Hive.

 

Wolf was talking to MIL. From what I understand, she's been holding a grudge from when the Littles were born :001_huh:

 

She's angry that we didn't call her the nanosecond I was in labour, but waited until after they were born. In Tazzie's case, we called at a decent hour, since he was born at 1:44 am.

 

She demanded she get a call before we leave for the hospital. :001_huh:

 

We've never called ANYONE until after baby was born. When I was induced w/Diva, there were a bunch of ppl calling the hospital and driving the staff nuts b/c they knew it was happening, and I'm just not interested in that again.

 

I shouldn't say we don't call anyone...we call whomever we've arranged to mind the kids, but that's it.

 

Are we in the wrong here? Is it usual to call ppl to let them know you're in labour? Or is it more typical to call when its all said and done?

 

With our first, no one was called until after she was born. No one knew we were there. She was born about 7:50 am. My folks came down (4 hours) that day.

 

#2 was induced so we knew when we needed to be at the hospital. My folks came down and watched #1 for us. Called dh's folks first as they had a paper route and were about to leave the house. Then we called my folks at home. 1:30 am.

 

#3, we called the family that was watching first 2. We called everyone else after he was born. 10:10pm.

[kwickimom]

First baby we called everyone....BIG mistake. My dh's grandma wouldnt leave the room and kept asking me if it hurt (I was doing no drugs) :glare: His family showed up and these are people that never did anything pre or post baby to help out AT ALL. They all showed up at the local hospital to hold the baby and NOT ONE drove the 45 mins to the NICU to see how we were or if we needed anything or to see if the baby was OK. Didnt bother to ask if we were eating or needed clothes.

 

Lesson learned. I call my family asap (my mom was at my second birth) because they are respectful about my privacy and dont bother me. DH's family wasnt called until after we had the second two and the staff was given EXPLICIT directions not to allow anyone near me while I was in the hospital. :001_smile:

[silliness7]

Ok, question for the Hive.

 

Wolf was talking to MIL. From what I understand, she's been holding a grudge from when the Littles were born :001_huh:

 

She's angry that we didn't call her the nanosecond I was in labour, but waited until after they were born. In Tazzie's case, we called at a decent hour, since he was born at 1:44 am.

 

She demanded she get a call before we leave for the hospital. :001_huh:

 

We've never called ANYONE until after baby was born. When I was induced w/Diva, there were a bunch of ppl calling the hospital and driving the staff nuts b/c they knew it was happening, and I'm just not interested in that again.

 

I shouldn't say we don't call anyone...we call whomever we've arranged to mind the kids, but that's it.

 

Are we in the wrong here? Is it usual to call ppl to let them know you're in labour? Or is it more typical to call when its all said and done?

 

I call my mother or rather dh does on the way to the hospital if there's time. ;) Maybe he calls his mother too. I can't remember. Yeah, he probably does as she was part of the long-term child-care arrangement. She lived 2 hours away so she needed some heads up. :001_smile:

 

Honestly, it's personal preference. You're certainly not obligated to wake all your friends and relatives when labor starts or you head to the hospital. Although if someone (especially a grandmother-to-be) requested specifically that you call day or night when labor starts I don't see why you wouldn't. Humor her. Are you afraid she's going to show up before baby comes and bug the carp out of you? In that case....

[TheApprentice]

I liked my births quiet, and with our growing family. So I vote afterward. It's a special time for you.

[Tangerine]

I call people with whom I have the kind of relationship that I 1) would like them to know and 2) trust they aren't going to show up uninvited. Nobody is owed a phone call. It's your own beeswax.

[Impish]

Its interesting to me all the different pov.

 

When I was pregnant w/Princess, MIL was in town visiting until 2 wks before.

 

She told everyone that would listen that she would be there when Princess was born...uh, NOT.

 

Wolf and I even had an agreement that the kids would come and see the baby FIRST, and then MIL would be notified if Princess showed when she was still in town. To us, siblings are a bigger priority.

 

Thankfully, she left before the birth.

 

I wonder how much has to do with distance, and how much w/personalities. None of our family lives close enough to really have much to do with the kids, or with us on a regular basis, so maybe that's why the idea of calling in labour is greeted with a 'huh?'

 

But then again, if she *did* live close enough to visit, there's no way in Hades we'd call her until we were braced for an invasion.

[Forget-Me-Not]

Disclaimer: We have generally respectful ILs all around :D

 

With my first I called my mom when my water broke because she lived 2 hours away and we had planned for her to be there for the birth. She came immediately and made it in plenty of time. My dad and brother came down later. I kept telling DH to call his parents and let them know I was in labor, but he opted to just call them the next day after it all happened (my water broke at midnight straight up, so a good chunk of this all happened in the wee hours :) )

 

With my second, we had MIL and FIL lined up to watch DS, but I went into labor on a Sunday morning and they were at church (and they weren't reachable by cell). We had moved just three doors away from my parents, and they knew things were looking promising, so they stayed home from church that day. When I opted to go into the hospital, my dad stayed with DS and my mom went with us to the hospital. MIL came and took over with DS as soon as she got the news, and then they came for a short visit at the hospital.

 

With #3, we had the ILs lined up to babysit again. But when my water broke in the wee hours and I was hemorrhaging, all plans went out the window. My mom came over immediately and stayed with the older two so we could book it to the hospital. FIL came as soon as he could, and my mom came up to the hospital as soon as he was there, but they had already taken me back for an emergency c-section.

Edited October 20, 2011 by LemonPie

[momma aimee]

Ok, question for the Hive.

 

Wolf was talking to MIL. From what I understand, she's been holding a grudge from when the Littles were born :001_huh:

 

She's angry that we didn't call her the nanosecond I was in labour, but waited until after they were born. In Tazzie's case, we called at a decent hour, since he was born at 1:44 am.

 

She demanded she get a call before we leave for the hospital. :001_huh:

 

We've never called ANYONE until after baby was born. When I was induced w/Diva, there were a bunch of ppl calling the hospital and driving the staff nuts b/c they knew it was happening, and I'm just not interested in that again.

 

I shouldn't say we don't call anyone...we call whomever we've arranged to mind the kids, but that's it.

 

Are we in the wrong here? Is it usual to call ppl to let them know you're in labour? Or is it more typical to call when its all said and done?

 

we called my mom and MIL when we left for the hospital; then turned off the phone :) Dh called to update as he (or I chose).

 

I think as long as your policy is your policy for everyone -- MIL can suck up and deal. it is your family and your birth you can do what you want.

 

I, personally, had to have my 2 BFF (one in MI and one in PA) to talk to -- so ve called a certain list of people -- and I was in a DDC so i texted a member to post for me. but that vas my choice -- if you choose to do it differently that is cool.

[Mimmy]

There is nothing wrong with what you did. I didn't notify people until after my babies were born either. I was busy and like my privacy... some folks didn't like it but frankly I don't care:lol:

[Murphy101]

The only people we have ever called before the birth are those that will be helping during the birth either with other kids or the delivery.

 

Everyone else, including grandparents and siblings and close friends, got a call after the birth.

[Impish]

Now, that's funny!

 

It had occurred to me that if my water breaks, or something that makes it obvious that its 'go time', and I have to wait for Wolf to come home from work, I'd probably post here about it while I'm waiting!

 

But...at the same time...nobody here knows the hospital, would call every 15 mins, etc.

 

So, it would be 'safe'.

 

Well, ok, SpecialMama knows all the details, but since she'll be minding the kids, she kinda needs the info :tongue_smilie:

[Laurie4b]

We notified some people when I went into labor, but i don't remember exactly who at this point (youngest is 13). a younger mom I know had an email list set up that her dh notified when she went into labor to pray for them. I don't think there is a right or wrong, but that also means I don't think someone should get bent out of shape over it.

 

It seems your mil is kind of wacko from some others of your posts, but if she weren't I might just let her know b/c she would like to know. No harm done really, but not so sure in your case.

[linguistmama]

OP, in your case there is no way I would call her!

 

DD1 was posterior and labor was very painful. I was too busy screaming and calling my parents didn't even cross my mind. Once I got my epidural we called family. :)

 

DD2 was a planned homebirth and my mother was worried about it. Labor was very quick and easy and even the midwife missed it because I didn't realize how far I had progressed. :lol: So we called family afterward.

 

With DD3 we will probably call afterward because I can't handle family freaking out about our birth choices during the birth.

[meggie]

(I've only made it to page 2, but I like reading everyone's stories so will go back and read those. Just wanted to slip mine in)

 

With Pigby, I waited until a decent hour (about 7) to call my mom. About two hours later she called to say her and my sisters were packed and ready to drive out (about 8 hours). They got there when I was at the hospital being monitored, but I got sent home. When I went back the next day, everyone came: my mom, all of my siblings and my SIL, my aunt, several cousins and another baby. I had a 40 hour labor and about 3 hours of sleep and felt I had to keep talking with everyone. :glare:

 

With my next two, I had homebirths and my mom was in the house when I had them and she's the one who sent out the message to family and friends that baby arrived. In all three cases, DH called his family shortly after to let them know.

[unsinkable]

Are we in the wrong here? Is it usual to call ppl to let them know you're in labour? Or is it more typical to call when its all said and done?

 

In all honesty, what difference does it make?

 

You'll NEVER make that "woman" happy.

[Grover]

We got in trouble even though we did call my mother to tell her we were going in to hospital. Her exact words on the subject were, "we didn't know what was going on and you'll never know how long that night was for us."

 

Umm... it was pretty long for us too... and we were kinda busy, y'know, being in LABOUR and all. No cellphone use allowed in the hospital here so DH sent a text as soon as he could go outside, which was about an hour after baby arrived. We're still not forgiven for that.

[Abigail4476]

Call only if YOU want to. Only if YOU feel it's important. When they told me I was going to have to have a c-section, I called my dad. I have a deep rooted fear of surgery. I just wanted to talk to him in case I died, to let him know it was okay.

 

:iagree: We called my parents, and they came to the hospital, but only because we wanted them there. DH's parents aren't involved in our lives much and live too far away anyway, so he called them after the kids' births. My mother called extended family after the birth to update them on the details.

[Impish]

In all honesty, what difference does it make?

 

You'll NEVER make that "woman" happy.

I was honestly wondering if we were really rude or weird in not calling.

[Brooketopia]

With our first, we phoned when I went into labor...ugh. Never again. I was getting ready to push and my husband was asking me for phone numbers so we could be sure to get everyone notified.

 

With all the others I phoned afterward, sometimes as much as a day later. Having a baby is not an extended family affair, but a personal experience between husband and wife. "It's MY baby first, YOUR grandchild second." People were not happy when I cut down the contact with second birth...and that's their rude problem that they need to get over.

 

Anyone who gets upset over how a couple decides to bring their child into the world is a narcissistic jerk. (You know, barring normal safety issues and all...I'd be concerned about skydiving birth plans...but even then, it's their choice.)

 

Don't sweat it. It's her issue, not yours. Forward this thread to her and watch the truth take its effect. I'm not one for stewing or talking behind others' backs, but just getting the whole nasty thing out in the open and talking about it until it's figured out. Don't let the resentment ruin your relationship. If you have an honest conversation about and she's still mad, then agree to disagree. She had her chance to have the births she wanted to have and she needs to respect your choices for your births.

[azmomx3]

With DD8 my husband called EVERYBODY when I was being admitted and I ended up having my MIL show up and sneak in the room and to the foot end of the bed during delivery!!! I didn't even realize she was in the room until the nurses sat me up to push and I was looking right into the face of my MIL!!!! I was so upset! Now we don't call anyone until after,except for those watching the kids. I had a good friend tell me that her husband always tells people, "you weren't there when they went in, you don't need to be there when they come out!" that cracks me up!

[Impish]

She had her chance to have the births she wanted to have and she needs to respect your choices for your births.

Actually, she didn't. Wolf is her only child, and he was adopted.

 

Its one of the things she beats us about the head with...that SHE didn't get to be pregnant and give birth, so somehow we owe her.

 

I made the mistake, ONCE, of having her join us for an OB appt. I figured that she'd be thrilled to hear the baby's heart beat, etc.

 

Uh huh.

 

It was a disaster.

[gardenmom5]

Ok, question for the Hive.

 

Wolf was talking to MIL. She's angry that we didn't call her the nanosecond I was in labour, She demanded she get a call before we leave for the hospital. :001_huh:

 

:lol::lol::lol: Your MIL is nuts, isn't she. My sil (I do NOT know how she found out) told my MIL I was in labor with 1dd, and she showed up in my labor room! (bless the nurse for escorting her out.) she didn't live anywhere near here for the rest, and is a firm "out of sight out of mind" personality. she was in full gossip mode and calling us everytime my neice-in-law went to the hospital thinking she was in labor with #3. (sil was babysitting, and mil lives with her.)

 

Maybe wolf can call her when you're screaming in hard labor and hold the phone up to your mouth. would that be the earful she's looking for?

 

just wait until after (and if you do deliver at 1:20 am, call her and wake her up, because she's just so eager to hear everything.;) oh, and let the nurse know no visitors until you are up for it. so if she shows up, the nurse can be the 'bad guy' and keep her from bugging you.) Then tell the instrusive biddy you waited to call because you wanted to be sure it was the "real" thing, and by the time you were sure, things were just too busy to call her.

[photomo]

It has to be up to. It's your decission.

 

However our whole family is usaully out in the waiting room during the labor/delivery.

 

My daughter just gave birth to my first grandson 3 weeks ago and I was in the delivery room with her and the baby's daddy but seriously there were 30 people in the waiting room. It doesn't bother any of us because we know that's just what our family does. I think if they didn't show up and be in the waiting room the person giving birth would think that they birth/new child wasn't as important to the family.

 

However, some people want it to be a private thing with them and their spouse and that is ok too. Don't feel bad if that's how you want it. You made the made just the two of you so if you want it just to be the two of you for the delivery then everyone will just have to get over it.

[The Girls' Mom]

With my oldest, it was scheduled so everyone knew. And everyone AND their brother was there :glare:

 

With the twins, our closest family was 1000 miles away. It didn't matter anyway.

[Canadianmumof5]

Sorry - no time to read through all the responses, but since you have been having so many BH these last few weeks, why not just call her at a random time every day saying "i think this is it", then call her back a few hours later saying "oops, false alarm". She may get tired of the phone calls/false alarms and just tell you to call when babe arrives.

 

could be fun :D

 

(maybe someone already suggested this.....)

[Mimm]

My mom was with me both times so yeah... She knew. I think my husband may have called my MIL but she lived a couple states away at the time and is very boundary conscious. If she wasn't, I would wait to call. With your MIL, I'd call on the baby's first birthday. ;)

[coffeegal]

Sorry - no time to read through all the responses, but since you have been having so many BH these last few weeks, why not just call her at a random time every day saying "i think this is it", then call her back a few hours later saying "oops, false alarm". She may get tired of the phone calls/false alarms and just tell you to call when babe arrives.

 

could be fun :D

 

(maybe someone already suggested this.....)

 

:smilielol5:

[Puma Mom]

I think it should be your call as to who you call and when. Or if. If a person really wants to be called, they should say so and you should be able to say whether that works for you or not.

[gardenmom5]

Sorry - no time to read through all the responses, but since you have been having so many BH these last few weeks, why not just call her at a random time every day saying "i think this is it", then call her back a few hours later saying "oops, false alarm". She may get tired of the phone calls/false alarms and just tell you to call when babe arrives.

 

could be fun :D

 

(maybe someone already suggested this.....)

:lol::lurk5: