Tangerine Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 My best friend offered to throw me a baby shower. This will be my third baby. So, ladies, would we deserve an etiquette smack-down? :smash::smash::smash: Here's the story. My husband and I have moved 7 times since we were married (7 years). I was pregnant during the first move, and had my second 21 months after the first. 4 of the moves we were either in, or leaving the military. I was not about to haul around their entire babyhood, and so I have nothing left from the baby years. Not. A. Thing. I would never ask for a shower, nor did it cross my mind. I figured I'd have to just make do. Now. If you got an invitation for a shower for a third baby, would you balk? Is it a first baby only, no exceptions rule? Do we get a pass for our situation? If you didn't know our situation, would you grumble at the breach of etiquette and call me a gift grubber? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 If a friend offers, I see no problem. That's just me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Every baby needs to be celebrated. Not a thing wrong with a shower for a third baby. Or a tenth! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I would do whatever you want. MIL wanted to throw me a baby shower for ds (2nd baby) but I DID NOT WANT ONE. I was having a HORRID pregnancy and I DID NOT want to attend a shower and have to play nicey nice. :lol: I wouldn't balk at attending any number of baby shower. I would go to a 12th baby shower just as I would a 1st. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyinND Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I don't see anything wrong with it. I think every baby should be celebrated!!:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I say go ahead and do it and enjoy yourself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 No smack down for you! Congrats though. ♥ I think anyone can have a baby shower, and anyone who doesn't want to go can stay home (and keep their mouth shut if they don't like it--but that's just me). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Say "Thank you!" and enjoy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I have no problem with showers for later babies, it's fairly common in my community. My friends threw me a surprise baby shower for #3. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Back in the day when family size was much larger and things were better made it was pretty standard to have only one baby shower. Really how often would one's friends want to cough up money,yet again, after baby number 6 or 12. Now, families are smaller. There are greater gaps between kids. Ultra sounds determining sex add another reason. After 2 boys, the new little girl is going to need pink stuff. Or the opposite - the new baby boy needs blue. It is perfectly reasonable for any number of reasons to have a 3rd baby shower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeekingHim77 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I think you should definitely take her up on the offer and consider yourself blessed! My dear friend recently had her 5th child and our church threw her a baby shower because we love her and wanted to celebrate the birth of her sweet little girl with her. Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 A friend offer, you moved, no problem! :D I would happily attend. And I hate "gift grabs" that some wedding/shower things have become. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Dominion Heather Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I had one for my third and it was a great big party. Much more well attended that either of my other two. And I have all boys, so it isn't even like I was changing from a boy to a girl. I'm in the "all babies should be celebrated" camp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 My friend gave me a shower for my 5th. Very similar situation to yours. It was WONDERFUL and I felt very loved. I don't think anyone minded a bit -- they seemed happy to celebrate a new baby. :) And that's how I'd feel if I were invited to yours! I think smack-downs happen for people who throw themselves a shower, or maybe whose mom throws her a shower, or who is a brat about what gifts she wants (I had a friend who was really immature when she had her first and specified "no Target clothes"). Other than those categories, I really do think people love to socialize, pick out a cute baby gift, each good food and remember/fantasize about BABIES. What's not to love? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Definitely have the shower and enjoy! I never understood only celebrating the first baby. My friends threw me a surprise shower for my third, and I am glad they did. I needed some newer baby things, and it was fun to have some special items just for him. I would have felt guilty buying too much myself. You have a wonderful friend, and no smack down necessary!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 And in your case, doubly so. The shower is entirely appropriate. If anyone thinks not, they can decline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tashagwen Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I think every baby deserves a party! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TKDmom Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I have several friends (myself included) who had baby showers with 3rd and 4th babies. I was uncomfortable when my friend threw a baby shower for my 3rd, but it was only 21 months after #2, and I hadn't gotten rid of anything. For #4, I had given away all my baby girl things and it was a fun shower. I would have no problem attending your shower, especially if friend somehow got the word out that you weren't able to save baby things from your first 2 kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 My best friend offered to throw me a baby shower. This will be my third baby. So, ladies, would we deserve an etiquette smack-down? :smash::smash::smash: Here's the story. My husband and I have moved 7 times since we were married (7 years). I was pregnant during the first move, and had my second 21 months after the first. 4 of the moves we were either in, or leaving the military. I was not about to haul around their entire babyhood, and so I have nothing left from the baby years. Not. A. Thing. I would never ask for a shower, nor did it cross my mind. I figured I'd have to just make do. Now. If you got an invitation for a shower for a third baby, would you balk? Is it a first baby only, no exceptions rule? Do we get a pass for our situation? If you didn't know our situation, would you grumble at the breach of etiquette and call me a gift grubber? ;) Congrats!! Who holds on to baby stuff that long? Especially with all that moving. Also, I think with the five year age gap you have there, many people would just assume this was a surprise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 With all the baby shower threads lately, I can see why the OP asked the question. I think having a shower for each baby is fine, but I'll bet there is some region that doesn't agree (etiquette things seem to be regional.) OP--if I were you, I'd read some of the other baby shower threads and PM the people who were against mom throwing her own shower and see what they think about having showers for a 3rd baby. Maybe they know some etiquette rule that we don't know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rjmakmom Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I have 5 kids and had a shower for numbers 1, 3 and 4. Number 1 ds for obvious reasons, #3 was a surprise thrown by a friend when we found out I was (finally lol) having a girl, and number 4 was with new husband/ after I swore there would be no more kids, so of course had not a single thing for a baby. #5 was born a mere 15 months after #4, so no shower needed. Enjoy and congrats!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Until it was mentioned here, I didn't know that in some areas, it was considered inappropriate to have showers for babies other than the first. Around here, there's a shower for every baby! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 This was a pretty good consensus on the celebrate the baby side. Which I like. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natalieclare Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 This was a pretty good consensus on the celebrate the baby side. Which I like. :) Here's a little more consensus, just in case you thought you were running low: Celebrate each baby! I like it, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 5 year age gap and you have moved and a friend offered. It all sounds perfectly ok to me. I think every baby deserves a party and big welcome. Usually 2nd or more showers in my area are sprinkles or diaper showers or fill the freezer with dinners for the growing family type events unless there is some large age gap. I will admit to rolling my eyes at registries for expensive baby items when big brother or sister is not all that much older than the next baby. But I just get the present I want to get and can afford and go anyways. Our younger son was 5.5 years after my oldest, I had donated all the baby stuff and we had stopped TTC after multiple miscarriages. My friends were so excited, different groups (work, church, other friends) of people threw me three different showers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 My best friend offered to throw me a baby shower. This will be my third baby. So, ladies, would we deserve an etiquette smack-down? :smash::smash::smash: Here's the story. My husband and I have moved 7 times since we were married (7 years). I was pregnant during the first move, and had my second 21 months after the first. 4 of the moves we were either in, or leaving the military. I was not about to haul around their entire babyhood, and so I have nothing left from the baby years. Not. A. Thing. I would never ask for a shower, nor did it cross my mind. I figured I'd have to just make do. Now. If you got an invitation for a shower for a third baby, would you balk? Is it a first baby only, no exceptions rule? Do we get a pass for our situation? If you didn't know our situation, would you grumble at the breach of etiquette and call me a gift grubber? ;) I had a shower for my 1st, 3rd, 4th, and 5th babies. All thrown by friends or church members. I tried to refuse the 5th shower because I honestly didn't need one single blessed thing and I just couldn't do it. So they said they would just throw a celebration "let's see the new baby" party and showered me with cases of diapers. It was such a lovely surprise. I bawled. I was hormonal. ;) You NEED the shower. Accept it. Don't worry about other people's sour grapes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiredmommyof8 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Every baby needs to be celebrated. Not a thing wrong with a shower for a third baby. Or a tenth! :iagree: I was given a baby shower for my first baby, my third and my fourth. There are 8 years between baby 1 and baby 3 and 4 years between baby 3 and baby 4. I was very grateful for those baby showers. Regardless of what some people might think baby clothes do not last forever and car seats have an expiration date. I hope you have a wonderful shower! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 No smack down for you! Congrats though. ♥ I think anyone can have a baby shower, and anyone who doesn't want to go can stay home (and keep their mouth shut if they don't like it--but that's just me). :iagree:Congrats & enjoy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I wouldn't balk at all, even if you still had tons of baby stuff. If you did, I'd probably bring dipes/wipes or a gift card. I'd never heard that baby showers are sometimes looked down on for babies after #1 until coming across threads about it here, and I've lived in (and gone to showers) lots of different places. Congrats! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seraphina Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 My only shower was for baby #4, we moved a lot too and only then were we settled into a community with true friends. I would not be offended if I got invited to a baby shower for a later baby. With the way baby things change and are recalled there is nothing wrong with having a shower. And imho anyone who would judge you for having a shower probably shouldn't be on the guest list anyhow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I'd be happy to go to your shower. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I would attend your shower cheerfully, bearing a dish to share and a lovely handknitted baby item. No smack-downs anywhere! Babies are blessings! (Unless you were throwing it for yourself instead of a friend doing it. Or unless registry info was right in the invitation.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WiseOwlKnits Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I say go for it! But in the interest of full disclosure, I'm having a shower for my 3rd in a couple of weeks. Some friends insisted. It's my first shower and she was/is a surprise - we thought we were done having kids - so we have nothing left from the last two. :) I hope you have a great time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Every baby needs to be celebrated. Not a thing wrong with a shower for a third baby. Or a tenth! :iagree: If anyone has an issue, they are free to decline the invitation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I never had a baby shower until I was pregnant with #6. My dd (then not quite 12) three it for me because she was sad that I had never had one. I was so nervous and unsure, but she wanted to so badly. I didn't want to disappoint her. She invited 5 or 6 people who are very extremely close to me. I mentioned my concerns to one of them. She laughed and said, "Those who love you will be there and happy about it. Those who don't love you don't matter!! Quit worrying about it!" I felt very blessed by her response, as she is very very Emily Post, if you kwim, lol!! I also threw a baby shower for a friend I love dearly who was having her 5th. She had 3 boys, 6 years later a girl, a year and a half later, a boy. I tried to throw a shower for her 4th baby and only girl, but it just didn't come together. :( When I found out she was shocked with an almost immediate and unexpected pregnancy, I worked a LOT harder on getting that surprise together. We painted her belly with henna, my dd (then 13) made a cake, and everyone showered her with love and yes, gifts, too!! She needed them! It was a BLAST, and my house was filled to overflowing with unsocialized homeschoolers and their mama's, lol! Unfortunately, said homeschoolers managed to find a dead racoon in my yard. Ugh. Short story long... Sorry!! Go for it. Enjoy it! And congratulations!!!!! :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 My staff here gave me a shower for my daughter who was baby #3. ENJOY IT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Now. If you got an invitation for a shower for a third baby, would you balk? Is it a first baby only, no exceptions rule? Do we get a pass for our situation? If you didn't know our situation, would you grumble at the breach of etiquette and call me a gift grubber? ;) I wouldn't balk, and -for others- I don't have any hard, fast rule on what's "acceptable" in terms of etiquette. If I get a gift-grubbing vibe, that'd be something balk-worthy but it's not something I'd assume to be the case for any given shower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Every baby needs to be celebrated. Not a thing wrong with a shower for a third baby. Or a tenth! :iagree: I don't know why people get their noses all twisted up over silly stuff like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I see nothing wrong with it! I am also in the 'every baby should be celebrated' club. I never had a baby shower. I had my first two babies while serving in the Army and far from home. Later, when number three came along and I was at home I guess my friends were in the 'no, only shower for the first baby' club :glare:. Too bad, because I had almost ten years between birth children and I didn't have any baby stuff left over either! If your friend wants to throw a shower, I think that is wonderful. Why shouldn't this baby have some shower gifts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Every baby needs to be celebrated. Not a thing wrong with a shower for a third baby. Or a tenth! :iagree: I don't just agree -- I TOTALLY agree!!! Celebrate the baby!!!!!! Ally Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DusksAngel Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Enjoy it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted September 7, 2011 Author Share Posted September 7, 2011 Well thank you everyone. Happy thread. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 There's no rule about how many showers someone may have. There's only a rule about who hosts the shower.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 If it's thrown by your friend, and you didn't ask for it, there's a gap, and it's with people who weren't around for the first one (because you moved,) so you are in the clear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I would happily show up bearing gift(s). Congratulations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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