If you are prospering financially, to what do you attribute this?

[kalanamak]

Delayed gratification.

 

Like, sleeping on a mat on the floor and having my clothes in cardboard boxes until I was 33. Like, paying my student loans off in half the time by never going on Vacations (with a capital V). Like not buying anything but knock-off soap on sale until my house was paid for and I'd funded kiddo's college fund. Like not owning a set of matching silverware until I was 50. Like working 12 extra hours today to help fund the over-budget expenses of hubby's daughter's wedding. And really, I'm not whining. I'd bite my nails off up the elbows if I lived differently. :)

[Caterpiller]

We do not meet ANY of the requirements on this thread but I have really enjoyed reading the responses. Thanks everyone for being so honest and open. :)

[Donna A.]

Thank you for posting this. There are so many people out there that are judged with "well, you didn't do enough" when they are doing everything humanly possible and may have even done everything "right". I've dealt with so much bad luck the past two months that most would not be able to believe. We've had a three things that I can count that has gone "right". But each day, my husband would walk through the door and I'd say, "are you ready for more bad news?" It literally became a joke. But now it's like a bad joke, on a scratched record.

 

:grouphug:

 

I've taken to asking dh when he gets home if he sold any bone density scanners today, and if not, then he can turn right around and not come back until he does. :lol:

 

(J/K It's a joke, of course. Because some days all you can do is laugh.)

[Colleen]

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

I hesitate to use the term "prospering financially", but we do meet the standards you described ~ and of course, in comparison to the vast majority of people in the world, we're rolling in material wealth. I attribute our financial situation in large part to the factors listed above. I do believe that those of us lucky enough to be born into comfortable, healthy situations in life are already in a far more advantageous position than those who are not. We can't take any credit for it, either, and we need to remember that.

 

At the same time, we're responsible for what we do with our good fortune. (By good "fortune", I'm not referring to wealth, but to circumstances.) In my case, I was highly financially irresponsible as a young adult. I grew up in a middle class family and had a marginally decent work ethic, but I neither knew nor cared about genuinely wise money management. I went to an expensive university and lived among people whose social and financial status was worlds beyond mine and lived like them, thanks to credit. I racked up debt and even while earning a good income, had a car repossessed because I preferred not to pay for it. Yes! Shameful and embarrassing, but there it is.

 

My husband is a different story altogether. He began earning and saving money at an early age. He lived in a culture wherein living off credit is an unknown. Unlike me, he knew from early childhood exactly what he wanted to do in life, and he pursued it. Thanks to his upbringing and his genuine passion for dairying, he maintains an impressive work ethic and desire to do his job well.

 

That focus, and that work ethic, are imo the foundational elements to our success in farming. Add to that our combined creativity and willingess to pursue new paths and membership in a stellar cooperative that is focused on farmers earning a decent income. Then, too, we aren't into "stuff", which goes a long way toward spending less. (On the other hand, I spend far more on food than do many others, I realize.)

 

Whew! I'm rambling. Okay, last thought. When we bought this farm, we were able to negotiate a reasonable interest rate with the former owner. We then worked to make double payments such that we could pay off our mortgage after 12 years. That lack of mortage in turn meant lack of debt and puts us, for now, in a good position. One never knows what the future holds, but I'm grateful for our current lack of want/need. (In the financial sense, anyway....!)

[Tap]

 

I used to believe that you should follow what you love and that you'll find a way to make money at it. "Follow your bliss!" Frankly, now I'm telling my children, think of something you like and find the field that can make you the most money that is somewhat related to it. I wish my husband and I had done that. We like what we do, but we'd rather not have the financial horrors we do. I hope my children make enough money so that they can help us out some day if we need it :(

 

I'm sad at how much of my idealism is gone, but my childish ideals are over. The reality has been hard.

 

LOL, Ds16 is thinking about becoming a pharmacist.....so he can work part time, make a living and then spend the rest of his time doing what he loves LOL He is a chemistry major, but has a heart and passion for ministry and that is where I see him headed in the long run. I am encouraging him to get a marketable degree, then, follow his heart after that. He agrees.

[YLVD]

The congrats is sincere. But yes, there is a ring of bitterness. That bitterness is when you've had people throughout your life asking if you've done this and that and wrote books on being a success financially, and yet, doing everything in your power, you still can't win. It hurts. It hurts when you have many financially stable people, you try to work a business, everyone is supportive to your face, but none of them are supportive in practicality (but you go their businesses and give them business).

 

I totally understand. I know that part of the reason that I'm struggling, and have struggled for a long time, was that I was a single parent. I have a college degree, great work history and yet..it's always been so hard.

 

I'm in a serious relationship now but we are in a high COL area and have to stay here for his industry. Also, at the same time that we partnered, my bipolar symptoms started, meaning I had to leave my entire career and now work from home part time.

 

I don't have credit card debt, we rent, one vehicle..we do all of those things. It's just always been a struggle, even with the right education.

 

I am truly happy for people that have found a way out of it and have financial success. I mean that. But, I can't lie and say that I'm not a tad bit jealous.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't have credit card debt, we rent, one vehicle..we do all of those things. It's just always been a struggle, even with the right education.

 

I am truly happy for people that have found a way out of it and have financial success. I mean that. But, I can't lie and say that I'm not a tad bit jealous.

 

See, perhaps it is a perspective thing. I see us as being fairly prosperous even though it is a struggle many times simply because even though we struggle, we do manage to pay the bills in the end.

[Heather in Neverland]

College education.

Being really good at what we do.

Knowing when to fish and when to cut bait professionally.

Good timing.

God.

[YLVD]

See, perhaps it is a perspective thing. I see us as being fairly prosperous even though it is a struggle many times simply because even though we struggle, we do manage to pay the bills in the end.

 

We generally do but there is nothing left afterward. The medical insurance and prescriptions that I have to take eat up the rest. I'm thankful that I'm in a good, low-crime area and that we have the one car we have. Well, it's a two seater truck and there are three of us, lol.

 

It's just..tough when you have to choose between your meds and...basic needs. But, there are always people that have worse things to deal with, always. I keep that in mind every single day.

 

I suffer a lot of guilt because a lot of the troubles we are having could be eliminated if I hadn't gotten sick. I know that there isn't anything I can do about it, but I still feel residual guilt.

[angela in ohio]

Obviously, I give the credit first to God, who has blessed us.

 

Most of our reasons have been given already. We delay gratification and we live simply: working several jobs while going to school, living in a tiny awful house way past the time everyone we knew had bought a nice big house, no vacations, no new furniture (except that we did spend a few hundred on bookshelves a few years ago,) a limited number of clothes, home haircuts, and so forth. We invest the money in education instead.

 

Because dh worked very hard at his career, respected his superiors, treated people fairly, and stayed in school and then went back for advanced degrees, he was able to get promotions that led to more financial security. For a long time, we were much poorer than everyone we knew who had gone to work right out of high school, and we thought we must be crazy, but it was worth it in the end. Yes, there are people we know who did the same and they ended up out of work through no fault of their own recently, and I think that is where the blessing comes in.

[ChandlerMom]

We had a few advantages: my college ed and having kids later gave us time both to splurge on exotic trips (pre kids) and still accrue cash to buy a nice house (aided by moving from a more expensive state to a slightly lesser one).

 

But I really think it comes down to: identifying your priorities; valuing your gifts of time, self, and money; distinguishing needs from wants; and living your priorities. In a nutshell that means spending money where it is most important to you and not using debt.

 

Be especially wary of recurring expenses (cell phones, car payments, etc). I can buy a lot with the literally THOUSANDS we're NOT spending on cell phones or cable tv -- we can do a whole lot of fun things with that kind of money. :p

 

Everything we spend is computed into hours we would need to work to pay for it -- that makes it real. When I look at a "want" and think "that would mean dh would have to work and be aware form his family an extra X hours to pay for it"....well, it cuts down on the junk. Entertainment expenses should be enjoyed fully, not frittered without thought.

Edited August 28, 2011 by ChandlerMom

[SKL]

OK, this may sound weird, but I read a very simple book by Deepak Chopra - the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. I believe the most important thing I learned was that if you want to attract something, you have to give it away. Don't cling to what you already have, or you'll have no capacity to receive more. It sounded a little crazy at first, but I thought, I like the idea, so I'll try it. It works!

 

I have always lived frugally and worked hard, but at the same time, I was so insecure about my career, I would have had limited opportunities, had I not just kind of given it up to God and started focusing on emptying out instead of filling up and hanging on. But letting go somehow gave me a new confidence in my career / relationships and made me feel like no matter what ever happened, I would have enough people who cared about me that I wouldn't go hungry. The added confidence made me appear more valuable and I got good raises (which I deserved, but it's hard to prove that in some environments). I continued to live very frugally, help my parents, give to charity, pay off my bills, and put the rest in the bank.

 

I do have a pretty good education and high IQ. But I am an extreme introvert, which can negate a lot of the benefits of "good on paper."

 

Family background wise, my parents were fairly poor, uneducated, and one was illiterate. But, both of my parents always worked as far back as I was cognizant. They always expected me to go to college and be a professional. They sacrificed a lot to put me in a Lutheran school. They told me I was meant to make a difference in the world. My mom educated me about student loans and made sure I had enough sense to apply for financial aid to get myself into college (I was 16, so not sure how wise I would have been on my own).

 

But, other than laying the foundation and setting the tone, nobody did anything for me. Not a penny was available from my parents; eventually I was the one giving them money. I never had help with homework, paper routes, college apps, job apps, etc. And I consider that to be a benefit as well. Once when I was 18, I was talking to my mom about how hard it was to find a summer job (we lived in a rural area and it was 1985). She told me that the way to find a job is to go to a business district, start at one end of the street and darken every doorstep until you have a job. I was incredulous, but felt obligated to try. Lo and behold, after 3 stops I had a job. (Not an awesome job, but a job - and the first of many.) Knocking on wood, but since my 2nd year of grad school, I have never been unemployed - though I came close a few times.

 

Throughout my life, I've never spent a penny on alcohol, tobacco, or recreational drugs. I don't run up a bill on my credit card but pay it off each month. The only things I've made loans for have been my education, my house, and my car, all of which have been paid off for a long time. If I wanted something I couldn't afford "right now," I believed in delayed gratification. And, I'm a simple person, with a "less is more" outlook. My biggest luxury purchase - by far - was a used piano. (Unless you count a few international trips I've gone on.) I only own a third of my house and of most things in it; I share with two other (unrelated) single women. Being able to cooperate and compromise and not sweat the small stuff can really save money.

 

My friends earn a range of income. Which reflects my background.

[eternalknot]

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

I attribute my financial state of affairs to two things: one, my family culture. We live in a multi-generational home, and share resources rather than try to go it alone (and we always have, as opposed to my American peers who all moved out of the family home at 18 or so in the name of independence). My brothers, sisters, parents and I have our own earnings, but by and large we put a large majority of those earnings into a big family pot. We don't keep score or tabs, we just assume the money thing comes out in the wash. Sometimes you give, sometimes you receive. Money doesn't rule our relationships.

 

The second thing I attribute it to is luck. Before I had kids, I chanced upon a job that pays well and is very flexible; once I had kids, this job allowed me to continue to work outside the home but also to homeschool. My husband separated from a good paying, reliable job in the military to an unrelated civilian job that was undergoing a major shortage in personnel. He got in at a good time, and is making great money. He has no education beyond high school; I have multiple college degrees but use none in my job. The cards all just sort of fell into place, through no real planning of our own.

[Lily_Grace]

Our financial situation is due to my husband's job. He's military. Out in the civilian world, paychecks would not be nearly as kind to us to fully cover medical care, a special allowance for housing, and other small amenities. I also credit our situation with learning how to make do with less. There was a time in our lives we were bringing home MORE (dual paycheck household) and yet were struggling every month. Sure, our kid wore Gap clothes and we went out to dinner at least once a week! :lol: But we were broke!

 

We moved to an island where most of our vices were almost non-existent. No malls. No fast food. No 24 hour stores when we didn't feel like cooking. Movies shown once a week. Not having those things available to us on a constant basis helped to turn our finances and lifestyle around. A paycheck that would have been depleted in 10 days in the states now affords us to put aside quite a bit in savings and make 1 1/2 car payments, and still have some left over after daily expenses to roll into savings as well.

 

I also give credit to our friends. Every time I hung out at their house there was a stack of financial books in their living room. And they were always different. I made a joke one day about all the reading her husband does on the subject and she opened up all about their life goals and what they're doing to get there. They lived on less than half their income and invested or put away the rest for their long-term future. She's the one who got me interested in seeing what the library had and finding Dave Ramsey. I don't know if she ever knew how much she inspired me. :001_wub:

 

So yeah, that's how we're doing better than many of our friends in the same income range. We were given the opportunity to do without and appreciate the blessings we have and we spent the time figuring out our goals and dreams and how to get there. We didn't feel any need to keep up with anyone or give our kids the same as their friends anymore.

[Faline]

Financial prosperity depends so much on perspective. However, we do meet the criteria set forth by the OP. This is amazing to me but I know the biggest factor is the grace and blessing of God.

 

Background: I am a SAHM w/a high school education and dh only went to 8th grade, so higher education is not a factor. We've never taken government assistance (a personal decision). Dh is an entreprenuer who grew up dirt poor and took over his father's failing business (over 100k in debt) a year or so before I met him. Maybe not the wisest decision but he was very young. So we know what it is like to struggle. Eventually we got out of debt and even began a savings account. We lived totally debt free for awhile, but we now have a mortgage which we are paying off ASAP. We love debt-free living!

 

Some other factors: Good health. We're blessed to be a healthy family.

Work ethic. We've worked HARD.

Give some. There are needs all around.

Honesty. Dh would rather take a loss than take advantage of someone.

We live very, very frugally--below our means.

Dh is a very talented and capable mr. fixit.

 

We are happy and content. Dh has a heart for ministry, and his business/money comes after that--even as an afterthought at times--yet there always seems to be enough.

[Mama Geek]

We are blessed by God for all we have.

 

We are both college educated engineers from good schools. We had student loans that we paid off after a few years.

 

We were and still are willing to go anywhere there is work that pays well. I am currently not working and dh is. I am staying home with dd. If dh can't find work when we need it, I will go back to work.

 

The last house we bought, we didn't spend more on than what we could pay for on one income. When we sold it, we purchased a house outright for half the money in an area with a seriously struggling real estate market. We have done some work on the house, but it is a really nice house on a lake with a pool and a really nice size lot for our dd and dog to play on.

 

We have bought inexpensive new cars and we drive them for at least 10 years and usually longer than that. I have totaled 1 inexpensive vehicle that we bought used and someone hit my dh totaling a second vehicle. It was probably 6 years old. That covers the last 18 years that we have known each other.

 

We have taken a reasonable amount of risk and had high rewards in jobs. About 4 years ago I gained enough courage to give contracting a try. Dh and I both found jobs at the same place where we would both collect per diem and the hourly rates were probably close to the top in our field in this country. A lot of people didn't last more than 2 weeks in this job field in this particular area. We worked in it for 1 1/2 years. We paid off our house during this time which we still had 20-25 years of payment left on it. We also bought a new car that we had paid off in a few months.

 

We waited to try to have kids until I had worked for a few years and then it was several more before we conceived. I was 36 when dd was born.

 

Right now we are living in a hotel due to the uncertainty of the amount of work dh has. Within the next week we will likely either be going to another contract job or home. We would both like to have some time at home so it is what we are hoping for, but dh will work if there is good paying work available.

 

We have been debt free for 3 years or so. We have savings, we have retirement and we have a home. Most people we know are not willing to take the risks we have taken or make the sacrifices we have made. They all tell me I am crazy for living in a hotel for a couple of months. Sometimes it isn't easy, but we do it and a lot of the time we enjoy our lives.

 

We are currently w/o insurance but can pay for anything that we have needed to so far. I really need to research some high deductible catastrophic plans and the medishare type programs. Maybe after this job is resolved in a week or 2 I will spend some time doing some research on those.

[Ginevra]

Since we've been married, the only debt we've had is the house mortgage. It's meant driving old cars into the ground, going without vacations, etc.

 

I think that the most important factor in our financial good fortune has been that I lived at home with my parents for 12 years after college (graduated top 10% and got free tuition to state uni) and was able to save. I invested in a rental house, sold it and had savings for the down payment on our present house.

 

:iagree:This is very similar to what my dh did. Wise decisions.

 

 

I agree with no debt and living below our means. I'm not sure about luck or blessings. Neither of us had parents who could pay for our education, but we both graduated from college with very little debt.

 

Dh has a world class work ethic which means that even though we graduated from college in 1988 when it was very hard to find an engineering job, he was hired anyway. It wasn't for as much money as we would have liked, and it wasn't even in the right state, but we were grateful for it.

 

Later, when that company went under, and I was pregnant with Miss Good, he was the only employee asked to work for the new company instead of just being laid off. It wasn't in the town where we liked living, but we were grateful for it.

 

When we started looking for a house, we took a huge risk, and bought a house that was in such bad shape that we had to use our savings to make repairs BEFORE closing. We had $11 in the bank at closing, but it really paid off for us. We fixed it up ourselves over 10 years and more than doubled our investment.

 

We always buy used cars for cash. We always do our own repairs unless it is just not possible. Dh spent all day today fixing the kitchen sink.

 

 

 

 

I did get an inheritance from my grandmother and will get another one from my dad's estate. I also inherited royalties that are ongoing, but I'm giving that money to my children. Dh will have an inheritance from his mother. I have used all of the money I inherited for investments. I didn't even buy any new

clothes first.

 

Here is what I attribute our good fortune to:

high IQ, good health, strong work ethic, no debt, low spending or living below our means, taking risks, and inheritance.

 

See, that's funny to me, because all those things you mentioned are what I call luck. In the randomness of life, you had some good things come your way, that could have gone a bad way.

 

OK, this may sound weird, but I read a very simple book by Deepak Chopra - the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. I believe the most important thing I learned was that if you want to attract something, you have to give it away. Don't cling to what you already have, or you'll have no capacity to receive more. It sounded a little crazy at first, but I thought, I like the idea, so I'll try it. It works!

 

<snip>

 

But, other than laying the foundation and setting the tone, nobody did anything for me. Not a penny was available from my parents; eventually I was the one giving them money. I never had help with homework, paper routes, college apps, job apps, etc. And I consider that to be a benefit as well. Once when I was 18, I was talking to my mom about how hard it was to find a summer job (we lived in a rural area and it was 1985). She told me that the way to find a job is to go to a business district, start at one end of the street and darken every doorstep until you have a job. I was incredulous, but felt obligated to try. Lo and behold, after 3 stops I had a job. (Not an awesome job, but a job - and the first of many.) Knocking on wood, but since my 2nd year of grad school, I have never been unemployed - though I came close a few times.

 

 

 

I don't think that's weird. I read that book many years ago and I do agree with the principal. I think holding on to things that could bless others blocks the flow of money and material goods. Give them away and watch things flow back to you.

 

For your second part, I would caution you a little. "Laying the foundation" is no minor gift. Even if you weren't handed money from your parents, (which I get, because it's true here, too), you most likely did benefit from many things without having earned them. I grew up in the USA, where I was given a mostly-free education that I did not earn. I enjoyed driving on roads, getting exercise at parks and reading books from libraries before I ever paid a tax. I'm just saying, be sure you fully appreciate all of the wonderful things that you have enjoyed that have benefited you through no effort of your own. :001_smile:

[Soror]

I consider us successful, although as others said those looking in might not think so. We can easily pay our bills, with plenty left to save. We have an average american income.

 

 

1)Education- I have a BSW but dh just has highschool diploma

2) Family- Both of our families stressed hard work and no outrageous spending. Our fil did get us started on a good path, although, we could have started similiarly on our own it was beneficial to him as well

3) We try to follow the idea that just because you make more doesn't mean you spend more and therefore now have a hefty(by our standards) amt going to savings every month

4)We are always looking for ways to cut our bills and keep them to the minimum- no cable, old cars, eating out is very, very rare- only bills are house, insurance, netflix(cheapest), groceries, gas, phone(w/internet), electricty

5) We built a small house to start and never upgraded- we did a 15 yr loan

6) Dh works very hard and is smart, he has made himself very useful, so while others at his place of employment have had lay-off days as of late they are still begging him to work and he has had days when he has been the only one working the whole place (out of 1200 employees). He works overtime a lot mandatory but also when there is opportunities he takes it as well, allowing us to afford some extras

7) We have always planned the budget and life w/ preparing for contingencies. What if he loses his job? What if he gets a lower paying job? How little can we live on? What can we invest in to get a better return later? What can we do ourselves and save-oil changes- haircuts--convenience foods- etc

[....]

We are blessed by God for all we have.

 

 

:iagree:

[Jennifer in MI]

When I really think about it, for us, it's been a lot of VERY fortunate coincidences (luck, blessings, etc - whatever you want to call it).

 

Yes. My dh and I have great work ethic. We've both got degrees from very good schools. But, when it comes down to it, much of it is who you know and who you've met. We are extremely comfortable where we are right now. BUT, I know a lot of other people who have a good work ethic and good degrees, etc and they are out of work right now.

 

Just a few things that have helped us:

 

1. Dh joined the "right" fraternity. He's gotten SO many opportunities from that. (Including meeting me!)

 

2. Dh joined the First City Troop (a military unit in Phila) and made many more contacts that way.

 

3. Dh's dad was a very successful businessman and made many contacts. Dh got his current job through a contact made through his dad.

 

4. I had a great-aunt who believed that ALL women should be college educated and she set aside a college fund for all her nieces. Without that money, I may not have been able to go to college. I am forever grateful to her.

[weddell]

DH and I met in college. We decided to get married and so applied to the same grad schools. We put off having children in order to finish school and get financial stability. I think delaying children was a HUGE benefit. We knew we wanted me to stay home, and by waiting until DH could get the kind of job that he wanted we were able to get by with no debt (except school loans).

 

As grad students and when I was working and DH was still in school we didn't have a car. We lived in a city and took the bus and walked everywhere. We didn't have cable. We didn't have cell phones (until I was pregnant and dh was working 40 minutes away, but this was a few years later). We used free, but limited dial-up internet provided by the school. We cooked from scratch and almost exclusively shopped at Aldi. Since we didn't have a car, we had a little collapsible shopping cart that we used to haul groceries (these were common in the city). We had the cheapest local phone service and only used calling cards for long distance. When we were grad students we lived on around $15,000 and still managed to open IRAs for ourselves that year. We could do all this because we didn't have children and seriously didn't buy anything we didn't need.

 

DH decided he wanted to change his course of study (he was in a PhD program towards being a professor). So I told him that now was the time to get an MA in something that would lead directly to a job since we wanted kids soon. He really thought about that and choose a field that he was both interested in and was practical. There were two schools in the area that offered a similar degree. One was Ivy League and the other was not. (We had both previously been attending the Ivy League school as grad students). I talked with a professor of mine who worked in the field that DH had decided to go into and he said that although they were both good programs and the non-ivy had a good co-op work program, he felt the Ivy would lead to better job prospects based on name alone. He was right.

 

DH applied to the ivy and got in and in around 2 years was done and was recruited directly out of school into a high paying job. He works very long hours but gets great pay, big raises, and big bonuses. I really believe that if he had chosen the other grad school (the non-ivy) that he would not have gotten as good a job. Although I believe that you can get a good education at many schools whether they are big names or not, in some fields names make a huge difference. Some big firms only recruit at certain schools and there are a lot of jobs that you will never even hear about if you aren't in the right school or right alumni circles. This was something I really didn't know or fully understand until being in that position.

 

I was able to support us fully while DH finished school. We didn't get a car until Dh needed one for commuting and then we paid cash. Once he got a job, then we had kids and I quit to stay home. We have always lived below our means. We really practiced delayed gratification which helped set us up for a better life now. We still don't have cable and we still pay cash for cars. I'm a huge thrift store shopper and love other bargains.

 

The things I wish we had done differently include my schooling. Dh and I went to a small liberal arts college and majored in not very practical things. I'm very glad we did this! A good liberal arts education teaches you to think and you can enter so many fields once you are a good thinker! But I wish I had done something more practical for grad school. We both went into PhD programs and although DH was suited to it (even though he ultimately left that program), I knew it probably wasn't something I should have chosen. I did get a job in my field, but they are rare and don't really pay well. I really feel a good liberal arts BA and then a practical MA (or similar degree) is a fantastic path to a career.

 

The other thing we should have done differently is to not have bought the house we currently own. But I'm not the only one feeling that way!

[amy g.]

I wanted to add a couple of things we have done "wrong" financially. We would really be rolling in the money if we had stopped after the first 2 children. I think large families are a real financial drain, but I'm just crazy enough to be considering number 6 any way.

 

If money was our goal, we would have set up the special needs savings account for Dd to protect her assets and started the paperwork to get her ss disability for her autism. That is what we have been advised to do.

 

Instead, we have invested that money in her corporation so she will be able to take care of herself. I really don't know if she would ever be able to work for an employer, or get along with other employees.

 

She feels very strongly about wanting to be a tax payer instead of a taker. It looks like she is going to have the opportunity to pay plenty of taxes.

 

I mention all of this just to make the point that we have not made financial security our main goal. We want to have a happy family, and that includes not having money issues hanging over our heads, but I will make some choices that seem off from a financial standpoint if I think they will make us happier in the long run.

[Mama Geek]

You know, (just musing out loud here), we all have different tests and trials in our life. I've had people rag on me because I didn't share their particular tests but let me tell you, I really don't think they would want the daily health tests that I've had for the last 20 years. We've had some financial tests (we lost half our money about 10 years ago due to very bad professional financial advice, for instance) but our financial tests have never been to the dire straits of some. But I'm not so naive as to not think that I couldn't have those tests. I want to make good choices if I can but realize that there is so much that is beyond our control.

 

I think Jean is right here. We all have our own trials. Just because we are prosperous now doesn't mean things have been easy. My parents were divorced. I had a really bad relationship with my dad for a long time. My mom was probably at the poverty line while raising us although we never did food stamps, or welfare. She always worked. I have lost loved ones much earlier than I should have. When my grandmother was on life support and would not recover, mostly my husband and I had to make the decision to take her off life support. My dad had already passed away and my brother was a minor. I was just a few years out of college. My marriage with dh was rocky for many years because of baggage we both carried from our childhoods.

 

All of that aside, we each have our own struggles. I am sure that everyone that has posted how they got to where they are have had major struggles and trials in their lives. I think the OP was seeking advice from people who have made it to where she wants to be. I also thing people have done their best to give a straight answer. It hasn't been in my opinion an I deserve this more than you do kind of thing.

[mcconnellboys]

I agree with KrissiK that marrying later, after acquiring some base for living, may go a long way toward helping to establish prosperity of some type. I also think that just being satisfied with what you have for a longer period of time, rather than changing into new cars or new technology every couple of years helps tremendously, too.

 

I had already bought my first house and it was fully furnished with all appliances by the time I married. I also owned my car, which was a gift from my parents.

 

My parents and in-laws helped me to update my house by either coming to help with the work, or by choosing to give me birthday or Christmas gifts of the new wallpaper I wanted for the bathroom, the curtains I wanted for the bedroom, etc. When my in-laws redid some of their landscaping, they sent the trees they were removing over to my house and when we got our yard landscaped, the person who did that job was able to add those in.

 

As a result of the work we did on the house, when we sold it to buy a larger one just about 5 years later, we made a 10k profit to turn into the next house, in spite of the fact that the market for small houses wasn't great at the time, nor was the neighborhood where I was living.... (That house is still just the same on the outside, by the way, all these years later....)

 

While I was not happy with the house (or price of it) that we were forced into by my MIL, we were able to make similar changes to that one on the inside and outside over the time we lived there (7 years). When we moved here and sold it, I stuck to my guns on asking price and we got what we wanted, which netted us a profit of 30k to turn into this house (again, at a time when houses were not moving well in the town where we had lived).

 

We were given a gift of a new SUV right before we moved here and I drove it into the ground (more than 200,000 miles) for 10 years and would still have it if major systems hadn't started failing (spent more than 2k on it the last year we had it and systems were still failing).... We bought a used SUV to replace it.

 

My husband is still driving a pickup that he bought right after we got married, so it's about 23 years old. The air conditioner has been out for a couple of years now, but he doesn't want to pay $750 to get it fixed.

 

My older son is driving a used Toyota that my husband used to drive back and forth to work for years. It is full of dints and dings, has a broken door handle, etc. - but the air conditioner works! And it's reliable.

 

Above my computer sits a TV that I bought for my first apartment in Baton Rouge, 25 years ago. It still works, even though the plastic pull buttons long ago broke off. I have to use a pair of hemostats to turn it on. But it does hook up to cable and still works fine. That sort of sums up our views on technology.

 

We haven't ever had to have the latest and greatest. We still use cassette tapes and VHS tapes. We don't throw away and replace technology every couple of years when something newer and "better" comes out. My husband's cell phone is the first one he ever got, about 8 years ago. Everyone makes fun of it, but it works fine and he hardly uses it. I would still have the same model, but mine completely quit working, even the SIM card. I've broken another since then, too, somehow....

 

I still cite the last 2-3 Christmases as our coming out into the 21st century. It started when my family gifted us some money and we were changing the downstairs into a den where the teens could hang out or my husband could watch ballgames, etc. We used the money to buy them a larger TV and sectional sofa. Then I think the next year I finally got a laptop that I'd been requesting for years because the price on them finally had come down significantly. (My son got a MAC with graduation gift money to take to college the summer prior, so I was complaining....) Then, last year, they finally got a gaming system of some sort, and we bought my older son one of those new, thin TV's for his use. This is the first time in all our married lives (of almost 25 years) that we've had so much modern technology in our house (and it's still not the latest, greatest, biggest, most expensive, etc.)....

 

We wait for sales; we wait for prices to come down on new technology; we buy knock-offs of good quality; we wait until we have a windfall of a bonus or someone gives us a gift, etc. before we use money to buy things we don't really need, anyway.

 

We don't buy Starbucks, nor any sort of fountain drinks as we drive around town. Seemingly tiny little things like that add up to huge amounts over time (faster than you'd think).

 

Even for things we love, like books, we use the library, we buy used and cheap (yard sales, Half Price books, etc.)

 

We keep our clothes a long, long time, LOL (maybe too long). I still have perfectly good clothing from the late '80's and early '90's that are of better quality material than what I could buy today. I just have to figure out how to make them look like they don't come straight out of those times. I pull shoulder pads, repurpose things into new ways, and get shoulders on jackets taken in by a seamstress (for a lot less than a new jacket would cost) and she can make other structural changes, too. We look for deals on clothes and shoes. I kept all my older son's clothes to hand down to the younger and those things he can't or won't wear move on to friends, neighbors, Goodwill, etc.

 

When I need a new something for the house, I shop at deep discounters for such things and, again, we keep all our stuff a long, long time. I'm sure most folks have seen that "Story of Stuff" video that circulated a few years ago on You Tube. I can't recall the percentage of stuff thrown out in the first six months after it's bought, but it is huge. We just don't throw stuff out much at all.

 

Of course, not everyone is going to come from the same sort of starting point, or be able to ever count on a gift of money to help them out, etc. I get that every story is going to be different. I still think that using a little ingenuity can go a long way toward helping to establish prosperity....

[SailorMom]

DH and I were 18 and 19 when we got married, and had kids at 22/23.

We struggled when we were younger, but worked our tails off, made a LOT of sacrifices, took on education debt, got educated, and are now doing fine. We were in no way helped by parents - except through emotional support.

We are in no way "affluent" but that is in many ways by choice - DH wanted to be active duty military, and I wanted to stay home with our kids and homeschool - by definition that restricts our income :)

My car is a 2010 Golf TDI (needed a reliabel, warrantied car for DH's deployments), but DH's truck is about 10 years old and doesn't have AC.

Everything we've done to the house, we have done ourselves - we don't hire people.

We wear clothes from WalMart, I get 2 haircuts a year at Supercuts, never go to any sort of spa - no facials, no nails, never had a pedicure.

I just now - a few weeks ago - got a phone that has a screen on it. I pay $5 a month for a data plan for me only - it is not a smart phone. No one else in the house has data.

We do not have cable or satelite. We pay $8 a month for live-streaming through Netflix.

We're pretty darn frugal.

We do, however, have CC debt, and are still paying off student loans. We also have my car payment. We have a plan to pay it all off - but Dave Ramsey is not it.

Edited August 28, 2011 by SailorMom

[Jean in Newcastle]

We generally do but there is nothing left afterward. The medical insurance and prescriptions that I have to take eat up the rest. I'm thankful that I'm in a good, low-crime area and that we have the one car we have. Well, it's a two seater truck and there are three of us, lol.

 

It's just..tough when you have to choose between your meds and...basic needs. But, there are always people that have worse things to deal with, always. I keep that in mind every single day.

 

I suffer a lot of guilt because a lot of the troubles we are having could be eliminated if I hadn't gotten sick. I know that there isn't anything I can do about it, but I still feel residual guilt.

 

A huge chunk of our income goes to medical too. I hope this isn't too much of a rabbit trail, but I am working hard with supplements (which can cost big $), life style changes and going to naturopathic doctors (which can cost $ too) with the goal that not only I become healthier but that our medical bills will be cut down in the long term.

[BabyBre]

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

First of all, I attribute it all to dh. :001_wub: I would have run this family's finances into the ground long ago.

 

My answer to all those is no, except to work ethic. Dh took the initiative to dream up and run his own business when he was 19 years old, and he supported us (with one child) for several years. When he decided what job he really wanted, he applied for four years until he got it, brokered a deal to sell his business for more than we could have hoped, and he has risen to the point that he makes a very comfortable wage.

 

But the number one factor in our financial security is dh's self-discipline. When he gets his paycheck and bills amount to $XXX, he adds to that the amount he's pledged (to himeself) to save every month. Our savings accounts are included with our bills without exception. What we have left AFTER bills and savings are paid determines the means we live within. Typically, we save in various accounts (retirement, deferred comp, general savings) around 50% of our income. Bills and discretionary spending come from the other 50%.

 

I thank God for dh!

[Elinor Everywhere]

Thank you for posting this. There are so many people out there that are judged with "well, you didn't do enough" when they are doing everything humanly possible and may have even done everything "right". I've dealt with so much bad luck the past two months that most would not be able to believe. We've had a three things that I can count that has gone "right". But each day, my husband would walk through the door and I'd say, "are you ready for more bad news?" It literally became a joke. But now it's like a bad joke, on a scratched record.

 

:grouphug::grouphug: My heart goes out to you.

[Elinor Everywhere]

I heard (was it Dave Ramsey?) that the five friends closest to you have an income relatively close to yours. (Someone correct me if I've misquoted this.)

 

For the purposes of this thread, prospering financially means you have enough to pay all bills each month, have some savings, live in a house you consider comfortable, have access to good medical care, and can afford to purchase healthy food. Also, if you had an unexpected bill, such as a car repair, it wouldn't cause financial hardship for the month.

 

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

I attribute it to my husband. He has NO education, but has a very strong work ethic. He pulled himself up through the corporate world in the tech industry, and now is making a very comfortable income. And LUCK. If he'd been in a different industry, would he be making as much? No way of knowing - that's where the luck factor comes in.

 

By your definition, I guess I'd attribute it to background (he grew up quite poor), genetics (work ethic), God, and luck. He does not have great health (he has an auto-immune disease), we've lived in three very different geographical areas, and we definitely have no family inheritance.

 

As to friends, I'd say most of our friends are in our general income bracket (some lower, some higher). I think that's because we like to do the same things. However, one of my dearest friends is struggling mightily, so not all our friends are at the same level.

 

We've made some stupid choices (spent WAY too much money when I was working - where in the world did my salary go?), and we've had some bad luck (selling our house in CA right before the boom), but we've also made some wise decisions: each time we've bought a house we've bought DOWN, we have a 15-year mortgage that is 2/3s done, keeping cars until it's cheaper to get another one than continuing to repair the current one, etc.

 

I feel blessed, truly. I try not to be complaisant and assume this will all stay the same. Our kids have lots of chores and have to earn their money - they only get gifts on birthdays/Christmas/Easter, and learned very early to never bug me to buy them anything when we're at Target or another store, because it's not gonna happen. My daughter even earns her gum money!

 

With all that said, we still spend too much and this year I'm trying to scale back curricula purchases (in the past, that's been a very large percentage of my over-spending). I'm going to do the Dave Ramsey class with my kids next year as a high school economics credit, and I'm excited about it. I came from a lower middle class family, and when I met my husband I was living in a studio apartment with very little furniture - I know how to be frugal, I think I've just gotten out of the habit. Stupid of me!

[Parrothead]

We are on the cusp. If things continue on for the next few years as it has been we will be okay.

 

We've done nothing special other than live within out means. Moving so often has not helped, but it wasn't totally detrimental.

[Elinor Everywhere]

 

I thank God for dh!

 

:iagree: Me, too, literally!

[J-rap]

I attribute our stable financial situation to my husband's wisdom, creativeness, education, gut instinct, moral code, and stubborness. It took awhile to get to that place. For many years, we lived on a shoestring: in a tiny apt. and on WIC. But my husband was determined to set goals, live an honest life, give to others, work extremely hard, but on top of that -- he was very visionary and wise. I think you can have all of the first (before the dashes :-) and still not get there. My husband had a long-term vision and was very wise on top of it all. He is also very creative. (So, both sides of the brain were at work!)

We were really fortunate in that he set up his business to run WITHOUT him before his stroke. Now that he is disabled, we still have a stable income. I have no doubt that my husband will get back to his former self again someday, but at least for now, we are covered.

I would like to add that it was always VERY important to my husband to give away a big chunk of our income (up to 20%) to others who needed it more. I don't necessarily believe that God blesses those that bless others (we are Christians), because I've seen a LOT of people who are HUGE blessings to others and still don't get ahead financially. But, maybe there is something in that attitude that helps you get there...I don't know.

[YLVD]

A huge chunk of our income goes to medical too. I hope this isn't too much of a rabbit trail, but I am working hard with supplements (which can cost big $), life style changes and going to naturopathic doctors (which can cost $ too) with the goal that not only I become healthier but that our medical bills will be cut down in the long term.

 

Oh yes, I do those things too. But, I have bipolar disorder and not treating it with meds isn't an option, unfortunately. It would mean that I would be a mess and not able to work.

 

I focus a lot of lifestyle changes but it won't eliminate the medical debt. I did start going to a community mental health clinic and my visits are only $20, which is a huge savings from the other medical clinic I was going to!

 

I swim and eat super healthy because I agree about being healthier in the long run saving money and just having a better quality of life! :)

[Pink Fairy]

I'm currently reading Outliers: The Story of Success, and Malcolm Gladwell does an awesome job of explaining why some people are successful and others aren't. I'm not finished with the book, but so far it sounds like opportunity and hard work are the key components, with opportunity being a synonym for luck. For us, my husband is the sole provider, so our family depends on him for our entire income. He is intelligent and very hard working, educated, and socially adept. He has good health. While his childhood was difficult in many ways, his parents were also educated and financially comfortable, and he attended good public schools. Our finances have suffered from the California economy, and so dh found himself a second job working only 6 hours/week but bringing in a significant amount of money. So lots of hard work, lots of opportunities. I don't consider us to be prospering exactly, because of inflation and pay cuts, but looking around at how so many people are struggling, I feel very blessed for the opportunities we've had.

[Nestof3]

My husband had $20 when he moved here in the early 80's to go to college. He lived in a dumpy apt in Norfolk. He didn't finish college, but while in college, he worked at a hardware store and delivered pizzas at night. He paid his own way and never received any help from anyone.

 

When he quit college, he continued to work in different hardware stores. He married, bought a "starter home," and then had a baby. He decided to start a lawn business, but he had to deliver pizzas at night to make ends meet. His wife left him when Aaron was 4. He had partial custody and paid child support. He also paid half the equity in the house. Ex gave up custody when Aaron was 8 and moved away.

 

One example of my husband's integrity is when he found out Aaron was on the free or reduced lunch program (he went to the school near his mom's), he went to the school and asked to pay for the lunches. This was denied him because of custodial issues.

 

I enter the picture. I have a college degree, but we decided to homeschool. His business was established at this point. He stopped advertising and listing in the phone book years ago because he received all the referrals he needed by his customers' recommendations.

 

We still live in our 1,100 sq ft starter home. We drove old vehicles until just a few years ago. I really think this has made one of the biggest differences.

 

I would say our prosperity has come from two things primarily. My husband's hard work and his integrity.

 

When he worked for someone else, he was never late, didn't call in sick and would never have called in sick if he was just trying to get a day off. He was very dependable.

 

Being self-employed, he has always had to work until the job was done -- even when he was sick. He doesn't have access to sick days, vacation days or anything else. He has worked hard and done great work which his customers see. I believe this is a great credit to him. He has also been honest in his taxes, follows the law in his pesticide/herbicide application, etc. I believe his work ethic makes a difference. I think his customers appreciate knowing they have a legitimate business who is insured and doesn't look like a shady operation.

 

We are by no means living the fine life, but we have no debt including mortgage. We have the smallest house of anyone we know in real life. Rather than buying a new house when he began making more money, we chose to be content here. We were always aware that something could happen to him or times could get tighter, and we didn't want to end up in a pickle. We desired to just get out of debt while the money was good and then start saving.

 

Having to pay for our own health care and eventually our own retirement, we have had to stay very focused on being content where we are.

 

My husband also has many life skills, so he has been able to tackle all our home improvements including converting the carport to a room (the house was 900 sq ft before that), installing windows, flooring, roof, deck, etc. He is also able to fix a lot of things. He experience in hardware taught him a lot of this, and he learned how to fix mowers when he did small engine repair for one of the hardware stores. This helped him a lot in his own business.

 

He has also helped start two other people in the lawn business by training them while they worked for him. I believe his generosity is a credit to him.

 

Me? Well, I am his accountant, care for the domestic things, have learned to fix things on my own so I don't have to rely on expensive tech support, am a bargain hunter, etc.

 

I don't say any of this to imply that if a person is not prospering, they are the opposite. I'm just saying what I think has helped in our situation. My husband makes more now that he is self-employed (but we gave up benefits as a result), but even when he was working for peanuts he was doing fine because he managed his money very well. He just went without many things.

 

Oh, I also think it helps that we didn't bring a lot of baggage into our marriage. Things with my step-son worked out very well, thankfully, and I made wise choices growing up and after college moved home with my parents while I worked full-time.

 

My husband has an employee who is 30 who has already been arrested for a felony, lost his license, owns no transportation, has two kids from an ex-wife (he doesn't have custody), and lives paycheck to paycheck. I can see where it would be very hard to climb out of such a life. It's far simpler to just not go there in the first place. I've seen many cases of lack of family planning, teen pregnancies, moving out of the home while very young, getting in trouble with the law, etc. which make it very difficult to progress well through adult life. I've seen it with relatives and others. I've seen many similarities with these people -- blaming others for their situation, addictions to substances like cigarettes, alcohol and drugs, spending money on stupid things even when they are charging to do so because they are broke, filing bankruptcy, etc.

 

Oh, one more thing. As an employer, it is true that the way you work in your current job can greatly affect your hiring ability when looking again. We check references, and I cannot tell you how many people we refuse to hire because of information given to us by previous employers. Also, presentation means a lot. If you go in for an interview, and it looks like you don't have the energy to shower and dress properly, remember -- there are applicants out there that do have the energy. And, if you don't have the energy to do that, then you won't have the energy to perform on the job.

 

Oh, and one last thing. We could not afford nine children, so we don't have nine children. Every person we are responsible for costs more money, and we plan those sorts of things just like we plan what house we will live in and how many vehicles we own.

Edited August 28, 2011 by nestof3

[butterflymommy]

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

There are a lot of factors, but the largest one is that we lived beneath our means, even when we were (by federal standards) poor. As my husband's income rose we kept living at the same standard, or if we increased our spending, it was only by very little. The only things we spent more on were paying off the car loan and mortgage. Once those were gone we lived off half of his income and saved the rest. After years of saving, we went on to buy our current house and were able to keep our old house-- and now we're landlords with rental income too. We are trying to pay off our current mortgage early like we did our last one.

 

We're still living beneath our means but not to the extreme that we once were. Our motto is "don't buy it" -- if you take a step back and reflect, how many of your purchases are REALLY necessary? Other than basic bills and groceries, we try not to buy anything. Of course we do splurge here and there-- but I would like to think, not as much as most families.

[TravelingChris]

I would greatly credit our personalities, especially dh's. Why? Because although he is highly intelligent, so were his brothers, who are all failures. ALl the boys had the same parents, the same education level through 12th grade, and yet, my dh is a success and they are not. Our personalities and talents have worked well together. WHile dh has made almost all the money (I stopped working 18 years ago), I have kept us from making a lot of financial mistakes --things like investing in telecoms right before they crashed and us not buying a house in 2006. He may have done some things like that without me but since he works so hard and for so many hours, he doesn't really have time to keep up with news.

 

Another thing I credit our success for is not having too many children. I don't think we would have been doing as well at all if we had 6 kids instead of 3. Medically, I certainly wouldn't have been doing as well and dh may very well have changed to a less demanding position to take some of the burden off me. As it is, I could still manage to raise and homeschool three with my chronic illnesses and their medical issues but more? Probably would have been a problem. And yes, I greatly attribute our success to dh's hard work and can do attitude. That is why he has gotten as far in his career, it is why he has lots of people who want him working for them. Yes, they recognize his intelligence but more than that- his willingness to work, his care for his subordinates, his putting others' needs above his own. That is why I bring it back to personality.

[EmilyK]

This is an interesting thread. For us, it has been both of us going to graduate school, waiting to have kids til our 30s when we were both established in our careers, and me continuing to work part time. And stopping at 2 kids. All of those things (other than going to grad school) were pushed by my husband and lately I've been realizing how much credit he deserves for pushing for more delayed-or-reduced-gratification type decisions.

[SnowWhite]

First of all, for OUR family, I would highly disagree with the idea that we gravitate towards those with similar finances. Our friends tend to be people who have the same religious convictions and their financial states varies wildly.

 

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

I would say that "generally" we are financially prosperous. Right now we are a little bit in the hole but I foresee us being able to pay it off in the next twelve months. Dh got a little behind for a bit before handing over the finances to me-- he had too much on his plate to handle business and personal finances.

 

I guess for us it is a combination of education, work ethic, financial good sense (not borrowing more than we can repay quickly, living modestly for our housing/clothing/main expenses), and good luck as dh is in a field which is still lucrative. Oh, and I have to also say it is due to dh's talents in his field. He gravitates towards the top all the time, always has.

[RoundAbout]

I've only read some of the responses.

 

We meet your criteria and I would attribute it to:

 

Good luck

Good health

College and graduate degrees

Staying married (almost 15 years)

Choosing practical career fields (DH is a military officer, I was a software engineer until I decided to SAH)

Work ethic

Loving and being good at our chosen fields

Delayed having children until early 30's

Patience and staying the course

 

In the beginning DH looked dumb for choosing the military over going to the top law school to which he had been admitted, but now he's doing extremely well. He chose it mostly because he had a commitment for service and wanted adventure but the job security and excellent health insurance has been a bonus. It's been hard on our family with multiple deployments, life threatening situations, and multiple moves but we recognize that every path has its own risks and rewards.

[Meriwether]

A general prosperity principle that I think many people undervalue is:

 

A strong support system. Dh and I know without a doubt that if life gets rough we will have roof over our heads and food to eat. My dad put an addition onto our first house. My parents have given us almost all of our beef in the 11 years we've been married plus other food from the garden. I will stop by Sam's Club and bring them staples and luxury items when I drive down. Dh will take off work to help Dad haul hay. I'll make applesauce or take apples down to them when we go in the fall and help Mom make it. If they needed cash (which they don't always have on hand do to the nature of farming income), we'd give it in a heart beat. If one of the kids got sick, they'd sell the farm if that is what it took to get medical care. A support system at times benefits one side more than another. What it provides for all parties at all times is a feeling of security and peace of mind. Many times when people hit rock bottom and feel hopeless, they have broken relationships - divorce or estrangement from extended family. When my SIL graduated, my Il's told her she had to move out (without warning):glare:. She had no money and no job. They were practically begging her to shack up with some guy just to have a place to live. Her grandma invited her to spend the summer with her. SIL started school in the fall and was able to provide for herself until she married and became a SAHM. I often wonder what my Il's were thinking. Without the support from her grandma, SIL's life could have resulted in unwed motherhood, minimum wage jobs, and a feeling of helplessness. Instead she is married and secure financially (very well-off, actually). SIL could have done marvelously on her own, but she was, for all intents and purposes, homeless until her grandmother invited her to stay. At the very least, she would have struggled in the early years.

 

Two specific things we did that have affected our bottom line:

 

When we were first married, I worked. We knew that I would be a SAHM so we lived off Dh's salary. We paid my work expenses and my portion of the tithe out of my salary. The rest of my salary went to paying extra on the house. That money became our down payment on our next home.

 

We also accepted a transfer that moved us farther from our families. It was HARD for me. HARD. I hate moving. I love my family. We make a good 30% more than we would have if we hadn't taken the transfer. I'd rather have less money and live close to family, but I'd also be using different curricula and have a cheaper house.

 

Something we do regularly is pay cash for vehicles. When we married, Dh thought you could afford a vehicle if you could afford the payments. That wasn't going to fly with me. Now he's on board.

 

In general, we live within our means. I spend too much money (not more than we have) to truly become prosperous. We could have much more. But I try to spend my "too much" on good things. My kids wear a lot of hand me downs, but I pay for them to do multiple activities. I don't buy jewelry, makeup, shoes, or purses. I buy lots (and lots) of books. Dh was looking at a vehicle for me. I'd rather have a nice house than a nice car. A good chunk of our tax refund went to buying chickens and building a chicken coop. The money is gone, but we are getting over a dozen eggs a day now. Dh thinks we should be making some of our investment back by now, but I keep giving the extra eggs away. I will never make a good businessman. I think, on my part, we do as well as we do because of the training my parents gave me. Now if I could just line up my free and easy nature with my P. Dutch training, I think we'd have twice the equity we have now.

[deacongirl]

An interesting perspective on this question:

(Read here for background first):

http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/how-rich-is-too-rich/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+SamHarris+The+End+Of+Faith%2C+by+Sam+Harris

 

And from his response to those who disagreed (which is what caught my eye):

http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/how-to-lose-readers-without-even-trying/

"Many of my critics pretend that they have been entirely self-made. They seem to feel responsible for their intellectual gifts, for their freedom from injury and disease, and for the fact that they were born at a specific moment in history. Many appear to have absolutely no awareness of how lucky one must be to succeed at anything in life, no matter how hard one works. One must be lucky to be able to work. One must be lucky to be intelligent, to not have cerebral palsy, or to not have been bankrupted in middle age by the mortal illness of a spouse. Many of us have been extraordinarily lucky—and we did not earn it. Many good people have been extraordinarily unlucky—and they did not deserve it. And yet I get the distinct sense that if I asked some of my readers why they weren’t born with club feet, or orphaned before the age of five, they would not hesitate to take credit for these accomplishments."

 

(I am not saying that commenters on this thread have not already recognized this point...but I just thought he said it well here.)

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I think it is just as unreasonable to overascribe success to luck as it is to overascribe struggles to laziness and personal failings.

 

However I know few successful or prosperous families who have not put a lot of time, energy and work into their situation. And I do know people who seem to be foolish choice generators who are then surprised at the results.

[Julie Smith]

I suppose for us(me) that it was I didn't know you could be poor??? Okay, Let me explain. I 'married' when I was still a teen. I didn't know you could not pay your credit card at the end of the month. I didn't know you could take out a larger mortgage then made financial sense. I didn't know used car (And we would have never bought new) could come with a plan to pay a bit ever month. I also thought the bank would be calling you up and possible dropping you as a client if you didn't always have a chunk of money in the bank. (Enough to pay off your usual expenses in the next 4 weeks without having any more money deposited)

 

So for me it was just basically a lack of knowledge. :) When I first heard about people living in debt I couldn't understand how that was possible. I thought not paying off a debt at a assigned time lead to immediate and very bad consequences.

[Carrie12345]

 

For the purposes of this thread, prospering financially means you have enough to pay all bills each month, have some savings, live in a house you consider comfortable, have access to good medical care, and can afford to purchase healthy food. Also, if you had an unexpected bill, such as a car repair, it wouldn't cause financial hardship for the month.

 

So, if you are prospering financially, do you attribute this to your education, background, genetics, good health, work ethic, geographic area in which you reside, luck, family inheritance, or other?

 

Well, we kind of fit. We've outgrown our house and can't get out, but that's a tens-of-thousands-dollars issue, not a car repair bill!

 

My husband is smart, healthy, ambitious, creative, personable, confident, busts his rear, and knows how to climb the ladder. He started in the industry with a single-digit hourly wage 11.5 years ago. He used his strengths and made a name for himself that's known nation wide (in that industry, lol).

 

That's what brings our money in.

 

We're working on better ways to KEEP it!

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

An interesting perspective on this question:

(Read here for background first):

http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/how-rich-is-too-rich/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+SamHarris+The+End+Of+Faith%2C+by+Sam+Harris

 

And from his response to those who disagreed (which is what caught my eye):

http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/how-to-lose-readers-without-even-trying/

"Many of my critics pretend that they have been entirely self-made. They seem to feel responsible for their intellectual gifts, for their freedom from injury and disease, and for the fact that they were born at a specific moment in history. Many appear to have absolutely no awareness of how lucky one must be to succeed at anything in life, no matter how hard one works. One must be lucky to be able to work. One must be lucky to be intelligent, to not have cerebral palsy, or to not have been bankrupted in middle age by the mortal illness of a spouse. Many of us have been extraordinarily lucky—and we did not earn it. Many good people have been extraordinarily unlucky—and they did not deserve it. And yet I get the distinct sense that if I asked some of my readers why they weren’t born with club feet, or orphaned before the age of five, they would not hesitate to take credit for these accomplishments."

 

(I am not saying that commenters on this thread have not already recognized this point...but I just thought he said it well here.)

:iagree::iagree::iagree:IMHO many fail to realize how much luck and fate have to do with their successes. There are millions and millions of people all over the world who do work hard and are responsible and yet live in dire poverty:(.

 

I know luck has a lot to do with the success of our family.

 

I am not denigrating hard work and frugality at all but all too often these do not help at all:( Of course, one should still work hard and be frugal though.

[edelweiss]

I think it is just as unreasonable to overascribe success to luck as it is to overascribe struggles to laziness and personal failings.

 

However I know few successful or prosperous families who have not put a lot of time, energy and work into their situation. And I do know people who seem to be foolish choice generators who are then surprised at the results.

 

Very well said. I do think that there are many that think that success can always be had if you work hard enough and don't factor in other things (especially good health). However, I also think that there are many people who believe that "luck" is the only factor in someone's success and discount the hard work, tough choices, and sacrifices that many successful people made.

[Carrie12345]

Very well said. I do think that there are many that think that success can always be had if you work hard enough and don't factor in other things (especially good health). However, I also think that there are many people who believe that "luck" is the only factor in someone's success and discount the hard work, tough choices, and sacrifices that many successful people made.

 

I agree. I should add that my dh had an 'in' with the company - my stepfather. But my ex also had that 'in' a few years earlier. He quit. And now he is unhappy with his income status. But he doesn't get dirty at work or have long/odd hours.

[Julie Smith]

Very well said. I do think that there are many that think that success can always be had if you work hard enough and don't factor in other things (especially good health). However, I also think that there are many people who believe that "luck" is the only factor in someone's success and discount the hard work, tough choices, and sacrifices that many successful people made.

 

Discounting all the people born in bad situations. I find that some people (with no understandable reason why not) just don't see 'luck 'because they aren't willing to grab it when it comes by.

 

I'm thinking of a few people I personally know when I say this. Some who looked a gift horse in the mouth since the work would be to hard. Then get hung up when other people get 'lucky' and they never do.

[Margaret in GA]

1. Hard work. My dh used to work 70+ hours a week when our kids were little at a very stressful sales job that he hated. He stuck it out for 8 years. He is a hero. I worked hard at home, though, to work within a budget and raise our kids and to make his life happy when he wasn't at work

 

2. Brains. Again, my dh is full of these and without these brains he wouldn't have been able to buy and run successfully the business he's had now for 10 years. He's also got a college degree. I do, too, but I don't actually use mine to make us financially prosperous ;)

 

3. Luck. For one, we are so lucky that we have a support system. We were able to borrow money for our business from my brother. We took out a loan from my parents in order to buy our first home. I have always known that if something bad happened, I could go home to my parents and everything would be OK. We're debt free now (except one tiny bit of a mortgage)

 

Margaret