Young girls with long hair....what to do?

[ChristusG]

DD4 has always had tons of hair. She had so much hair that I never wanted to cut it. So I let it grow until she was about 2 years old. Since then, I've always kept it about mid to lower back length.

 

Well, it's just gotten to be a pain. Whenever I pull out the brush, she starts to run away and cries. This happens every morning and after every bath. She cries pretty much the whole time I'm brushing. Sometimes she screams.

 

I know it is not comfortable....but I'm not trying to hurt her!

 

I've asked her if she wants me to cut her hair. First she says yes (while I'm brushing her hair). Then she says no. She REALLY loves her "princess hair". This child spends her life dressing in princess dresses, twirling around, pretending to be a princess, etc. She loves that she has long "princess hair." I'm not sure that I could bear to cut it. But I'm also not sure how much longer I can brush her hair with her screaming bloody murder!

 

Anyone ever had the same experience? What did you do?

[Dobela]

I would keep it braided except for rare occassions. If it is braided, at least at night, then it won't be matting as easily. When I was little and had very long hair, my grandmother would french braid my hair. She was good enough that it would stay in the braid for up to 2 weeks.

[Excelsior! Academy]

Detangler after baths. You might consider having her sleep in braids to keep it from getting tangled at night.

[ChristusG]

See, I'm not that good LOL. I've tried and tried to french braid....and it turns out *okay*. Not too good. By morning stray hairs are going everywhere. Her hair is so fine that stray hairs seem to come out of every style I've tried. Maybe I'm just not doing it right LOL. I've always been a tomboy....girlie hairstyles are not my forte LOL.

[gingersmom]

Start talking to her about donating it. It took me several years to convince my daughter.

[newbie]

Detangler after baths. You might consider having her sleep in braids to keep it from getting tangled at night.

:iagree:

[Veritaserum]

Braids. I have five girls and they all have mid-back to waist-length hair. Braids make it easier if they don't like their hair to be brushed.

[aggieamy]

I've got a girl like that too. You'd think I was an orge trying to brush her hair! Here's what I finally worked out that mostly keeps tears to a minimum. We take a bath every other night and as soon as she gets out of the bath we brush the hair and put it in a braid to sleep in. This keeps it from getting tangly at night. The next day I'll fix her in a hair style (french braids, buns, twist) that keeps it back so it won't get tangly. Basically any style that's not down and loose. That night I'll bursh hair and put the hair back in a braid to sleep in. The next day she can wear her in a "down" style. During the day the hair gets really tangly but it won't matter because she'll take a bath that night and it'll be easy to brush out after washing.

 

I know it sounds complicated but it really isn't. The two keys are to brush hair before bed and braid it and then only wear a "down" hair style the day of the bath.

 

ETA: I must type slow. I'm just repeating everyone elses suggestions. Go on youtube and look for tutorials on little girl hairstyles. Lots of great ideas there.

[ChristusG]

Any particular type of detangler? I've never bought any....we keep older DD in a short cut since it looks good on her, so I've never worried about detangler.

[Dobela]

See, I'm not that good LOL. I've tried and tried to french braid....and it turns out *okay*. Not too good. By morning stray hairs are going everywhere. Her hair is so fine that stray hairs seem to come out of every style I've tried. Maybe I'm just not doing it right LOL. I've always been a tomboy....girlie hairstyles are not my forte LOL.

You could just do it like Laura Ingalls Wilder on TV. Just start braiding at the neck. Or, as you are braiding it you could add some gel or mousse to help hold it. My head would hurt after my grandmother did it - that is the only reason why I think it held.

 

You also may want to consider a satiny pillowcase. The satin will allow the hair to glide over the surface more. I plan on making some soon for my dd as I would like for her to last more than one day too.

[LisainOhio]

My 6 year old had extremely long and thick hair. It would be wet nearly all day if we washed it in the morning. I was really tired of managing it and she was whining more and more about it yet was hesitant about cutting it.

 

I started showing her websites for hair donation and she warmed to the idea. Finally in May after her big Spring Gala for dance, she decided to donate. It's SO much easier to manage minus that 12 inches and it's adorable!

[Dobela]

Most detanglers are a form of hair conditioner watered down. If you really load her hair up with conditioner in the bath tub you could comb it while she is playing. I start with a wide tooth comb and gradually work down to a comb with small gaps.

[ThreeBlessings]

DD4 has always had tons of hair. She had so much hair that I never wanted to cut it. So I let it grow until she was about 2 years old. Since then, I've always kept it about mid to lower back length.

 

Well, it's just gotten to be a pain. Whenever I pull out the brush, she starts to run away and cries. This happens every morning and after every bath. She cries pretty much the whole time I'm brushing. Sometimes she screams.

 

I know it is not comfortable....but I'm not trying to hurt her!

 

I've asked her if she wants me to cut her hair. First she says yes (while I'm brushing her hair). Then she says no. She REALLY loves her "princess hair". This child spends her life dressing in princess dresses, twirling around, pretending to be a princess, etc. She loves that she has long "princess hair." I'm not sure that I could bear to cut it. But I'm also not sure how much longer I can brush her hair with her screaming bloody murder!

 

Anyone ever had the same experience? What did you do?

 

 

Get her excited about cutting it by showing her pics of princesses with short hair-google images, yay! Then cut it along with the daily drama. Thats what I did :).

[NanceXToo]

I can't French braid at all, but when my daughter's hair was really long, just plain braiding it at night made a big difference as to how tangled it would be in the morning. Using conditioner during showers and a detangling spray as needed did help too. But I did eventually convince her to cut it to like shoulder blade length instead of lower back length and it helped a lot (and looked nicer and healthier too, I thought. And fortunately she loved it)!

[jasar31629]

I nannied for a girl with mid-back, super curly hair. It works great to braid at night (even sloppy...at least most of the hair will stay fairly decent and your skill will improve with time!) and comb with detangler after showers. When she is young, if you watch TV at all it helps to do it during her TV time. That way her mind is off what you're doing behind her head :) Get into the routine so she knows it's coming and just try and be as gentle as you can, starting from the ends up.

 

Many times I could get away with doing her hair in french braids for school, then letting 1/2 of it out for the next day of school with a little gel, thereby barely having to touch the brush on day 2. It worked great with her curly hair- dd I can do this if we're staying home or just running errands...otherwise it's a bit sloppy with her straight hair.

[golfcartmama]

I JUST asked my stylist last night about my dd's hair...she said when I put the conditioner in to comb it out before I rinse it. so I did it last night and it was great. I didn't even need to brush it before bed. Then, this AM brushing went very quickly. Just a thought to help the tangles~

[StephanieZ]

I agree that you should keep it braided nearly all the time, use detangler ( any variety), and I also suggest that you trim an inch or so every month or so. trimming the rough ends helps prevent a lot of the tangling, IME.

[WiseOwlKnits]

DD had hair like that. I cut it off to the bottom of her chin. She didn't want me to. She got upset when they cut it off. We did it a month ago and she thanks me every day for cutting it now. It doesn't tangle and it's a breeze to take care of.

[catz]

I've told my daughter if she whines when I brush it, we'll cut it. We did cut it to bob length when she was about 3 because she was driving me nuts. But she has since grown it back out and it's midway down her back. I think it was only short for 6-9 months. If it's making your life miserable, I'd cut it. Little kids hair grows so fast and if you brush it daily as it grows, she may get more used to it.

 

Conditioner is really important at our house and making sure it gets brushed well at least 1X a day helps the upkeep.

[Jennifer in MI]

When my dd was 4 she had very long thick hair. She was exactly like your dd. I started talking a lot about cutting it. One day she found a picture of herself with a bob when she was 2 and she liked it. So, we cut it. Chin length. It was really cute!!!

 

Now she wants to have it grow again. Now that she's 5, she is able to care for it herself a bit. Every morning, I hand her the brush and she brushes it herself. I usually put it up - a ponytail, two ponytails, french braids, etc. But, some days she wants it down. At night, we wash her hair and put a ton of cream rinse in it. She combs it with the rinse still in it. We dry it right away and braid it overnight so it won't knot.

 

Now that she is older and she can do so much of it on her own it's much easier!! It's now shoulder-blade length!

[gardening momma]

You could just do it like Laura Ingalls Wilder on TV. Just start braiding at the neck.

:iagree:

 

Don't worry about a french braid. Just do a "regular" braid. You can even put in a pony tail first and then braid it.

 

Dd7 had hair to the middle of her back--it was almost waist length. I loved it. She didn't so much because it tangled so much. When she swims or does certain activities where it might tangle more, I braid it. Another thing I do is put a series of ponytail holders in, about an inch or so apart, all the way down, with the last one in the spot where you'd tie off a braid. I don't have a picture on hand, or I'd attach it.

 

I just cut dd's hair so it's now down to maybe the bottom of her shoulder blades. This is so she can take care of her hair herself at camp this summer (4 days). After that, we'll grow it out again, and next summer we'll see if it needs to be done again, or if she can handle longer hair herself by then.

[Soror]

Mine brushes her own(she turned 4 in April), she is also a Princess loving girl and loves long hair and always goes on about how she wants her hair to be so long. It is only about to her mid-back though as a few run-ins from the scissors when she was younger it has taken a bit for it to get evened up.

[dangermom]

Aside from all the good advice above, we have a little friend with amazingly long, thick hair who often puts it in a "Jasmine ponytail" -- basically a ponytail with rubber bands every so often on the way down. You can fold the hair in half so it makes a shorter, thicker ponytail, and you can do this hairdo even if the hair is hopelessly tangled and you haven't got time to brush.

[amy g.]

I have four daughters with very long hair-as in it has NEVER been cut.

 

I have started making a solid hair conditioner bar that contains a very effective detangler, because nothing I could buy already made really helped.

 

If you PM me your address, I will mail a sample to you.

 

This stuff has really changed my life.

[gardening momma]

That said, if she ends up not wanting that I recommend a product that detangles hair and try to only brush it when the hair is wet. That helped(s) me.

For us, brushing when wet is bad--it stretches the hair and then it snaps/breaks. I prefer to brush when dry. But we don't use detangler; we use conditioner after shampooing.

[twoxcell]

Yes, my 5.5 year old is just recently starting not to scream when I brush her hair. I have literally had to hold her down at times. What I have found to work now is to wash her hair wish de-tangling shampoo, and brush right after a bath. I then braid it to keep it from knotting. I also bring her shampoo with her to swim lessons and make her wash right after, then I brush and braid. She can take the braid out the next morning and it is easy to brush then too. If it needs brushed any other time and is tangled I use the detangling spray.

[Ellie]

Braids. Especially before bed.

 

Also, weird as it may seem, we blew-dry our dds hair--just washed it and brushed it while blowing it dry--and had few problems with tangles. Of course, their hair wasn't *curly,* but for straight hair, it worked.

[KidsHappen]

All of my girls had long hair. I always put in lots of conditioner and then combed their hair before rinsing. I rinsed very gently then just had to run a comb through it again a final time after the bath. We did not bathe right before bed time so that they went to bed with wet hair. They frequently braided their hair before bedtime.

[PIE!]

cutting, braiding, detangling, etc. are all GREAT ideas. Do those!

 

Don't do this (unless you're a mean mommy like me ;)).

DD has never had short hair and has always been adamant that it not be cut. One thing we did when dd was 4 maybe wasn't so nice, but it got the whining to stop. If I was brushing her hair (as gently as possible of course) and she complained, then daddy would take over. He would be as gentle as he could, but due to his lack of experience brushing long hair, it was MUCH less pleasant than when I would brush. It probably wasn't the most humane method, but her whining stopped pretty quickly. Now she's 6 and brushes it herself.

[Aelwydd]

I agree with the detangler suggestions. I don't have a dd, just a ds with super thick, long hair and won't let me do anymore than trim it from time to time. He's a hockey player, so I guess he's gotta have his hockey mullet. ;)

 

I use detangler on his hair and it works like a charm.

[Mommy22alyns]

Both of my girls have long hair but they have never fought me on the brushing.

 

They have to brush their hair thoroughly before shower/bath. We only wash downwards, use conditioner, and pat/squeeze dry. Detangle with a wide-tooth comb afterwards. No brushing when wet.

 

I would probably just say that if she wants princess hair, she needs to have it brushed. Otherwise, it WILL get cut!

[silliness7]

I can't wait to read your replies as I have the *exact* situation with my 3rd dd. I'll tell you my experience and then I'll see what other mommas do.

 

I took her in to get her ends trimmed about 6 months ago and that helped immensely. It's about time to do that again. The straggly ends just seem to make the tangles multiply. I told the lady at the hair place my dilemma and she talked me into an $8 bottle of detangler. I complained that store detangler did NOTHING for this child. I don't buy salon products. I mean. NEVER. but this was a good purchase. It helps a lot. It is not a miracle cure. She can still get it in some knots but this is very helpful.

 

I also keep it braided almost ALL of the time. Actually, in the winter with the special detangler I could leave it down and it was fine. Not difficult to comb through in the morning. But this summer with swimming very frequently the tangles are horrendous! I'm not good with french braiding so I secure 2 pony tails with rubber bands and then braid and secure again. This has worked much better than the straight braid with one rubber band at the end.

 

Oh, I have also noticed that some brushes hurt A LOT more than other brushes. We have a Hello Kitty hair brush that doesn't pull as much as our other hair brushes and for really tricky knots I use a comb.

 

ETA: I like the satin pillowcase idea.

Edited July 21, 2011 by silliness7

[jenniferlee]

We've dealt with this twice. Both times I said, if you complain or cry about brushing we are cutting it -right then and there. No time to think about it. Life is just too short to spend all that time on hair. For little kids.

Oldest daughter had to have this done. It was a little hard, but she ended up with a really cute bob that she got tons of compliments on and ended up loving. Now she is 13 and has very long hair that she takes care of herself.

2nd daughter sucked it up and quit complaining. She was adamant that she wanted to keep her long curls. Now she is 10 and wanted me to cut it short because she was tired of tangles.

Never know how it will go.

Detangler does help a lot! Braids are good, except if it's always braided what's the point?

[gardenmom5]

DD4 has always had tons of hair. She had so much hair that I never wanted to cut it. So I let it grow until she was about 2 years old. Since then, I've always kept it about mid to lower back length.

 

Well, it's just gotten to be a pain. Whenever I pull out the brush, she starts to run away and cries.

 

 

1dd has a ton of hair too. when she was in high school, it was past her bottom. she sat on it, pulled it out of her clothes when she dressed, used pencils as hair sticks, takes forEVER to dry, etc. I figure I'd cut four FEET off over the years by the time she went off to college. she still wears it long, just not that long.

 

do you use conditioner after shampooing? long hair should be conditioned after every shampoo. makes a BIG difference.

can you braid her hair to sleep in? (keeps it from tangling very badly during the night.)

does she take a vitamin supplement? Mine tangled all the time growing up - my mother was always chopping it. my girls hair - even 1dd with hair past her bottom - almost never tangled. hair needs vitamins, and if it's lacking, it will tangle more easily.

Edited July 21, 2011 by gardenmom5

[MamaJeanne]

I just started using a new brush, a Tangle Teezer, that brushes through tangles pretty well and it does so a lot less painfully for me. I bought a plain old black one from Sally Beauty Supply for around $10, but Amazon has a super cute flower one for girls. I can't wait until my dd is old enough to justify my buying it! It is a new find for me so I am still pretty excited about it and the price was right for me to give it a try!

[stripe]

Loose hair is an invitation for tangles. Let her twirl a braid.

[2squared]

We have this same, exact problem. My oldest loves her very long, very thick, very coase hair. It tangles horribly no matter what we do. A couple months ago I took her to have it thinned. They cut about 1/2 her hair out, and she now has a normal head of very long long hair. She still has tangles, but they are manageable. I can actually get her hair combed with detangler if it is washed and conditioned. If she goes a day without washing and conditioning it, I can't comb it.

 

Long hair is a lot of maintenance.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Detangler only made dd's hair even more difficult to manage because it built up and made it sticky. When she was little, I treated her hair like I treat my own (I'm a curly girl.) I combed it out when it still had conditioner on it. I started about 1 inch from the bottom and combed. Then moved up another inch, combed and repeated until I reached the top of the scalp. She rinses letting the water cascade over her hair trying not to disturb it. When she gets out of the shower, we squeeze it dry - never rubbing. She wraps her hair in a towel for about 5 - 10 minutes.

 

After removing the towel, she combs it out starting from the bottom again. She often puts it up in a braid or a high ponytail/bun when she goes to bed.

[ChristusG]

Wow, thanks for all of the replies and suggestions!

 

So, I use a kids shampoo on her that is supposed to have a detangler/conditioner mixed in with the shampoo. Should I also use a separate conditioner or detangler? Maybe the one mixed into the shampoo is not good enough?

 

I've been trimming her ends myself.....probably not often enough. And I've noticed that most of the worst snags do happen at the ends of her hair. Maybe I should take her for a cut at a salon and let them trim the ends? I usually cut my kids hair though....I hate going to a salon and paying the money for a simple trim. But if I did, I could also see what sort of conditioners they have for kids.

 

I keep meaning to put her hair up at night but always forget. I will DEFINITELY have to start doing this. For those who braid their DD's hair at night.....do you just braid one down the back? Is that uncomfortable for sleeping on their backs? Or do you braid one on each side of the head?

 

Sorry for all of the questions.....for my hair, I honestly just wash and brush it. I keep mine relatively short. Like I said, this is not my forte LOL.

[Mommy22alyns]

I just started using a new brush, a Tangle Teezer, that brushes through tangles pretty well and it does so a lot less painfully for me. I bought a plain old black one from Sally Beauty Supply for around $10, but Amazon has a super cute flower one for girls. I can't wait until my dd is old enough to justify my buying it! It is a new find for me so I am still pretty excited about it and the price was right for me to give it a try!

 

 

That flower one is cute! They look so small, though, I wonder if my hand would hurt.

 

We use Mason Pearson mixed bristle brushes and they aren't cheap, but they're excellent at detangling.

 

 

http://www.amazon.com/Mason-Pearson-Mixture-Bristle-Brush-ruby/dp/B001N444HW/ref=sr_1_2?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1311286712&sr=1-2

[Mommy22alyns]

So, I use a kids shampoo on her that is supposed to have a detangler/conditioner mixed in with the shampoo. Should I also use a separate conditioner or detangler? Maybe the one mixed into the shampoo is not good enough?

 

 

 

No, it's not. You definitely need a separate conditioner!

[Jennifer in MI]

Wow, thanks for all of the replies and suggestions!

 

So, I use a kids shampoo on her that is supposed to have a detangler/conditioner mixed in with the shampoo. Should I also use a separate conditioner or detangler? Maybe the one mixed into the shampoo is not good enough?

 

I've been trimming her ends myself.....probably not often enough. And I've noticed that most of the worst snags do happen at the ends of her hair. Maybe I should take her for a cut at a salon and let them trim the ends? I usually cut my kids hair though....I hate going to a salon and paying the money for a simple trim. But if I did, I could also see what sort of conditioners they have for kids.

 

I keep meaning to put her hair up at night but always forget. I will DEFINITELY have to start doing this. For those who braid their DD's hair at night.....do you just braid one down the back? Is that uncomfortable for sleeping on their backs? Or do you braid one on each side of the head?

 

Sorry for all of the questions.....for my hair, I honestly just wash and brush it. I keep mine relatively short. Like I said, this is not my forte LOL.

 

Definitely not enough. You need a separate conditioner.

 

Braid - I just do one down her back. She's never complained that it's uncomfortable!

[catz]

If you don't get the ends well trimmed, taking her in and having them look at the ends can make a HUGE difference. They might have to take off 2 or 3 inches (although, I barely find that noticeable on really long hair). I have my daughter's hair trimmed every few months or it would be a disaster.

 

And definitely use a separate cream conditioner. These 2 things could make you both much more sane and maybe she won't complain so much? :D

 

Good luck!

[Caraway]

We just got this and LOVE it :

 

http://www.amazon.com/Remmington-DT-800-Remington-Tangle-Tamer/dp/B000JI9JYQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1311287200&sr=1-1

[MamaJeanne]

That flower one is cute! They look so small, though, I wonder if my hand would hurt.

 

Isn't it? The full size one fits my hand well. It is a fun little brush!

[ChristusG]

Oh, and I'll definitely look into a decent brush/comb too. I just use a regular straight comb in order to get the tangles out. Maybe I can find something more comfortable.

 

I'm sure my 4 year old and her tender head will thank you guys. :D

[twoxcell]

So, I use a kids shampoo on her that is supposed to have a detangler/conditioner mixed in with the shampoo. Should I also use a separate conditioner or detangler? Maybe the one mixed into the shampoo is not good enough?

 

I use a combo shampoo conditioner and it works fine, but dd1 doesn't really have curly hair just a bit of a wave.

[Joyofsixreboot]

My girls have all been that way. The neighbors probably thought I was killing them. They outgrew it about 7. My youngest has very curly hair and really fights. I've taken to keeping it French braided almost all the time and that helps. I also use a very wide tooth comb.

Edited July 21, 2011 by joyofsix

[Barb_]

This is my new favorite conditioner: DermOrganics Masque with Argan Oil . I got a HUGE bottle from TJMaxx for $20. I have 6 girls with all textures of hair, fine t course and curly to straight. It's the only conditioner I've found that works on everyone. And I second the detangler. I buy the store brand from Walmart, Walgreens or Target and it's only a buck fifty. It works great on dry hair between shampoos too.

 

Barb

[Ellyndria]

I had thick, wavy hair down to my bottom the whole time I was growing up. I still have hair to my waist now (and sometimes to my bottom). Lots of good suggestions. I'll repeat some.

 

1. Braids. Doesn't have to be a french braid, I wore my hair in two braids (like Laura Ingalls) a lot when I was little. Strangely enough, I didn't always wear braids to bed, but sometimes I did. Ponytails can help too.

 

2. A separate conditioner. The shampoo/conditioner combo is not enough. I never used detangler.

 

3. Brush the hair out before washing it!! I still do this to this day. Washing it can really tangle it up. Brushing helps the after-washing tangles to not be as bad. If I forget to brush beforehand, the tangles really hurt afterwards.

 

4. Finger combing while the conditioner is in the hair can help a lot. Finger combing the wet hair (or also dry hair) *before* combing/brushing regularly can take out the worst of the tangles as well, and not hurt as much.

 

And the most important:

 

5. Make sure you are brushing/combing her hair correctly. Do not start at the top, start at the bottom. Brush the bottom few inches of her hair. Hold the rest of her hair with your other hand above where you are brushing to minimize the pull that she feels. When the bottom is untangled, move up another couple of inches and brush from there on out. As each section gets untangled, keep moving up little by little, until you can brush the full length.

 

Also, she needs to understand that if she wants to have princess hair, that it has to be brushed and that there are going to be tangles...but that also her head will get used to it over time and it won't hurt as much. And do hold the hair like I said in #5, you can get at least the bottom half of her hair brushed this way before needing to let go to finish brushing the whole length.