Carrie12345 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Say there's someone in your life who has a baby and gives it a nice name, but that someone gives that baby a nickname that makes you cringe. In this scenario, you are NOT the kind of person who finds it appropriate to vocalize your feelings about names... but you truly dislike this one! You can only get away with referring to "the baby" for so long, ya know? Is it appropriate to use the child's full given name and not the nickname? FWIW, I do have one child with a nickname that some people find weird. That's fine. We use his full given name quite often, so it doesn't sound odd at all when others do. This other person uses the other child's nickname 99% of the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 You call the baby what the parents want the baby to be called. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Hypothetically speaking, ( :D ), what would this nickname potentially be? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Say there's someone in your life who has a baby and gives it a nice name, but that someone gives that baby a nickname that makes you cringe. In this scenario, you are NOT the kind of person who finds it appropriate to vocalize your feelings about names... but you truly dislike this one! You can only get away with referring to "the baby" for so long, ya know? Is it appropriate to use the child's full given name and not the nickname? FWIW, I do have one child with a nickname that some people find weird. That's fine. We use his full given name quite often, so it doesn't sound odd at all when others do. This other person uses the other child's nickname 99% of the time. My son has a very popular nickname for a slightly unusual first name. I've had people ask me why in the world would I have called him the nickname and can they call him the first name. I just laugh and shrug. Call him whatever you want...he might not remember to answer you though! I think it is appropriate to use the full name...you said they do use both, even if it is the full name only 1% of the time. Now to be even weirder...I have a nickname for DS's nickname. Only 3 people in the world have used the nickname's nickname: 2 (previous) coaches and I. If anyone else uses it, he won't even turn his head. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 Hypothetically speaking, ( :D ), what would this nickname potentially be? Ha! I'm not getting roped into that one!!! :tongue_smilie: It is not off the wall or anything. In fact, it's just a syllable short of the full given name. In my head, it changes the entire "feel", though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 You call the baby what the parents want the baby to be called. Tara :iagree: Obviously they want the baby to be called by the nickname right now, so that's what I'd call said hypothetical baby. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 Ugh. You're all going to make me some enemies, aren't you? Fine. But I'm going to try to keep it from popping up in Google so my s!s!er is less likely to find it. My n!ec_e's nickname is kay ee en zee eye ee. And it makes me think of ex0tic dancers with lollipops and pigtails. There! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hmvaughan4 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 When DS was born, a lady at church asked why we'd use the nickname when his full name is so much better (Thaddeus vs. Thad). She told us that she'd only call him his full name. Whatever, we use both for him. But with my second, we have one person that shortens his name and it's rather annoying (Caedmon vs. Caed). We were originally going to shorten it, but it just doesn't seem right, so we use his full name. Personally, I don't really care either way. But my BIL insists that he's going to call Caedmon CJ, which I will speak up about if I ever hear him called that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Aw come on, now I'm curious! Maybe you could tell us what it rhymes with? Delores :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 LOL- ah, that name doesn't really bother me and I wouldn't really have a problem using it. But you probably could add the "ma" or "mc" or whatever makes the full name and just use that when you address her/talk about her up until the parents ask you not to- which they may not. My son's name is Benjamin and we all call him Ben, but every now and then, someone uses "Benjamin" for him instead and we don't really care or correct them. (Although at this stage- he's 5- he might tell them to call him Ben). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 Hm. That doesn't conjure up that image for me, but I like the full name better. The full name happens to be my dd's middle name, so it is entirely possible that I am biased, lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich with Kids Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Delores :lol: Mulva Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellesmere Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 You call the baby what the parents want the baby to be called. In general, I agree here. Use what the parents prefer. But for us, we wouldn't care if you used the full name. It would bother me more if you made up a nickname that we didn't use. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 that name doesnt bother me, but my FIL is dating an actual stripper and her name is Ocean. :lol::lol::lol: so, at least its not Ocean :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Mulva Denis. Not really a rhyme, but... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dakarimom5 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 I have issues with parents using derogatory nicknames for their children. I always just call the child by its given name. My SIL refers to her youngest as her " little Dexter" from the tv show IYKWIM. All my children have nicknames but I was very adamant that people not use Cody for Dakota, it's just not my cup of tea. We call him Kota instead. If I truly hated the nickname that someone was using for their child I would take a page out of my grandmother's book. She called all babies "honey baby" and all children "honey boy or girl" until they got to old for that and then it was "big boy or girl". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 The name of your neice is actually the name of several little girls we have been meeting lately. Some don't even have the MC or Mac in the front. I don't find it to be a bad name. However, if you don't olike it,there is no reason why you can't just call her her whole first name. I just wouldn't make a big deal out of it. When I grew up I had an aunt that would call me by my first and middle name. She was from deep south Tennessee and would some how say them so it sounded like one long name instead of 2. I was embarassed in my teens, but other than that I just saw it as her way of talking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyinND Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Delores :lol: Mulva :lol: Cracks me up!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Country Mouse Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 My SIL refers to her youngest as her " little Dexter" from the tv show IYKWIM. :eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Delores :lol: Mulva It's official. It is NEVER, EVER safe to open ANY thread while drinking something. I don't actually understand why people name their children so they can call them something else. That's weird to me. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 I just called my older DD Chachi this morning for no reason except that it's fun to say, so I'm not one to ask about nicknames. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 I think you're being fairly "it's all about me"...this is about a sweet baby, the name you mentioned is perfectly fine...you have issues with it, the rest of the world does not and I think it is rude for you to be more focused on what you think than what your sister lovingly has named/called her daughter. If my sister were behaving like this I would say she was being snarky. For everyone to call her one thing and you to put your considerations above everyone else's is not very loving or considerate. I was literally expecting a very off the wall name, go to Scotland/Ireland and you'll see this name quite often without your preconceived notion..but I find her name refreshing when I was just reading about 'bizarre' names that people choose...."Petal Blossom Rainbow" "Bandit" "Bear Blu" "Diesel" "Denham" "Sage Moonblood" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 (edited) It's official. It is NEVER, EVER safe to open ANY thread while drinking something. I don't actually understand why people name their children so they can call them something else. That's weird to me. :001_huh: Because I've always wanted a little boy called _______________ but it is not a name you put on a birth certificate. I know many, many people who feel the way you do. They tell me/ask me all the time why we don't call DS by his beautiful given name. ETA: he is not a little boy anymore! Another edit: My given name is completely different from my nickname, too. My mom had my given name and nickname picked out when she was a little girl. Because she always wanted a little girl called ______________. Edited July 9, 2011 by unsinkable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirandahoops Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 My mother calls ALL of my kids by other names and has since before they were born. She decided what she was going to call them, and will purposely not call them by their real, given names. And she introduces them as the name she calls them, so that everyone she knows only knows my kids by these other names. For example, my dd's name is actually Fallyn Alexandra, but my mom calls her Grace Faye (which is a nice name, it's just NOT HER NAME). All of my mom's friends know my daughter as Grace, not Fallyn. And if I am around and happen to be talking to my daughter or say "Fallyn" they wonder who I'm talking about since they only know her as "Grace". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 I don't actually understand why people name their children so they can call them something else. That's weird to me. I'm seeing a lot of this lately and it makes me :confused:. It's not necessarily nicknames but rather giving one's ds a name like John Thomas but calling him Beau; a girl named Amy Elizabeth is called Scarlett. :001_huh: There's absolutely no connection to the original name! Maybe this is a trend I'm missing (and have no intention of getting in on)?? To answer the OP: If a name is used that makes me cringe I just say things like "sweetie", etc. I would never make a big deal of a name/nickname to the parents themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 I think you're being fairly "it's all about me"...this is about a sweet baby, the name you mentioned is perfectly fine...you have issues with it, the rest of the world does not and I think it is rude for you to be more focused on what you think than what your sister lovingly has named/called her daughter. If my sister were behaving like this I would say she was being snarky. For everyone to call her one thing and you to put your considerations above everyone else's is not very loving or considerate. I was literally expecting a very off the wall name, go to Scotland/Ireland and you'll see this name quite often without your preconceived notion..but I find her name refreshing when I was just reading about 'bizarre' names that people choose...."Petal Blossom Rainbow" "Bandit" "Bear Blu" "Diesel" "Denham" "Sage Moonblood" :lol::lol::lol: Holy Hit a Nerve! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 As long as the nickname isn't derogatory, I'd just do what the parents wanted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Ha! I'm not getting roped into that one!!! :tongue_smilie: It is not off the wall or anything. In fact, it's just a syllable short of the full given name. In my head, it changes the entire "feel", though. In that case just call him/her by his/her given name. It isn't like the kid is named Reginald Fitzsimons Smyth, III and they call him Bubba. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandy in Indy Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 I'd probably use the full name--unless the child expresses a preference for the nickname. My mom was on the flip side of the nickname issue--her given name was so weird that she went by the nickname her sister gave her as a child--Barney. (She had a Barney google doll.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 I suppose as long as the child can't express a preference, it's fair game, but once the child is old enough to have a preference, then it is rude to call them by a name that they don't want to be called. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 I suppose as long as the child can't express a preference, it's fair game, but once the child is old enough to have a preference, then it is rude to call them by a name that they don't want to be called. Good point. She's still very little, just not quite "the baby" anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 My mother calls ALL of my kids by other names and has since before they were born. She decided what she was going to call them, and will purposely not call them by their real, given names. And she introduces them as the name she calls them, so that everyone she knows only knows my kids by these other names. For example, my dd's name is actually Fallyn Alexandra, but my mom calls her Grace Faye (which is a nice name, it's just NOT HER NAME). All of my mom's friends know my daughter as Grace, not Fallyn. And if I am around and happen to be talking to my daughter or say "Fallyn" they wonder who I'm talking about since they only know her as "Grace". Does this bother you? Honestly, that would pi$$ me off. I wouldn't tolerate it. It is just so disrespectful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Eh, I would just call her by her name. It's not like her name is Anastasia and they want you to call her Zoe. The nickname is practically her given name anyway. My dd goes by the nickname of her name, and her given name. In fact, now that she's the wizened old age of 13, she's asking people to not use the shortened version of her name anymore, since it's rather juvenile (in her opinion). So, in 13 years, this child may want to be called her full name anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
july19 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 As a one year old, my husband couldn't say "Joseph" or "Joey" for his little brother, but he could say "Buddy". He's been "Buddy" ever since. Teachers, employers, etc. all insist on "Buddy". When I started dating my husband, I refused to call him that - I didn't like the name. I called him Joey for like.....7 minutes. I quickly gave up. The force of the nickname was too strong with this one! Also, I hate my nickname of "Mal" for my name of Mallory :glare: My mom said I looked like Curious George as an infant, so my mom called me Monkey Butt. I actually prefer that to "Mal". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Ugh. You're all going to make me some enemies, aren't you? Fine. But I'm going to try to keep it from popping up in Google so my s!s!er is less likely to find it.My n!ec_e's nickname is kay ee en zee eye ee. And it makes me think of ex0tic dancers with lollipops and pigtails. There! :tongue_smilie: I really don't get that image at all either. Personally, I think you should call her by the name her parents want her called. Your personal feelings shouldn't matter. Both my son and I get really upset when someone tries to call my son Jeffrey by the name Jeff. It is not the name he uses so we see it as being disrespectful. Hey, I had to live with calling my first BIL Bubba. I live in Georgia. I hated, hated that name. I must admit it was one of the reasons I was glad he and my sister divorced. But it was the name he preferred, so I used it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Denis. Not really a rhyme, but... That is what we call an eye-rhyme :D Bill (who has been reading his MCT :tongue_smilie:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Down_the_Rabbit_Hole Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 It is parent's choice not your choice, until the child is old enough to decide. Either way it will never be your choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 My mother calls ALL of my kids by other names and has since before they were born. She decided what she was going to call them, and will purposely not call them by their real, given names. And she introduces them as the name she calls them, so that everyone she knows only knows my kids by these other names. For example, my dd's name is actually Fallyn Alexandra, but my mom calls her Grace Faye (which is a nice name, it's just NOT HER NAME). All of my mom's friends know my daughter as Grace, not Fallyn. And if I am around and happen to be talking to my daughter or say "Fallyn" they wonder who I'm talking about since they only know her as "Grace". Ummmm... I'm sure your mom is a nice lady, but this is CRAZY!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 I think you're being fairly "it's all about me"...this is about a sweet baby, the name you mentioned is perfectly fine...you have issues with it, the rest of the world does not and I think it is rude for you to be more focused on what you think than what your sister lovingly has named/called her daughter. If my sister were behaving like this I would say she was being snarky. For everyone to call her one thing and you to put your considerations above everyone else's is not very loving or considerate. I was literally expecting a very off the wall name, go to Scotland/Ireland and you'll see this name quite often without your preconceived notion..but I find her name refreshing when I was just reading about 'bizarre' names that people choose...."Petal Blossom Rainbow" "Bandit" "Bear Blu" "Diesel" "Denham" "Sage Moonblood" :iagree: Except for the comment about "Diesel." My 8yo nephew has that name and it fits him perfectly. My mother calls ALL of my kids by other names and has since before they were born. She decided what she was going to call them, and will purposely not call them by their real, given names. And she introduces them as the name she calls them, so that everyone she knows only knows my kids by these other names. For example, my dd's name is actually Fallyn Alexandra, but my mom calls her Grace Faye (which is a nice name, it's just NOT HER NAME). All of my mom's friends know my daughter as Grace, not Fallyn. And if I am around and happen to be talking to my daughter or say "Fallyn" they wonder who I'm talking about since they only know her as "Grace". :lol: Sounds like my dh's grandmother. She's passed away, but that name stuck and my own mother calls my dh the name his grandmother called him. I call him by his birth name. We just say he has 2 names. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Might they be Scottish? That is more of dog name, really. Take heart in that. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 I think you just have to keep your opinion of the nickname to yourself and call her what the parents want her to be called, until and unless she herself expresses a different opinion. Think of it as a chance to have a new association with the name! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 My n!ec_e's nickname is kay ee en zee eye ee. Wow. There is soooo nothing wrong with that name, and I'm honestly surprised that you would risk hurting your sister's feelings by not using it. When we were adopting our son, some family members didn't like his name because it was too ethnic (yeah, ok, he's from another country), so they decided that they would call him by his initials, and they informed us of that. Our response? "No, you will call him by his name." I thought it was pretty d@mn nervy for them to try to override our son's name. My opinion is, "Your kid, you choose the name. Not your kid, you deal." Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 We named ds after dh, but we use his middle name instead. When we told mil, she said, "Well, I'll just call him "Little DiminutiveFormofDh'sFirstName." Dh said, with a firm tone and a straight face, "No, you will call him ___, because that is his name." :D He is super-duper nice to him momma, but that wasn't going to fly. :001_smile: I don't think her nickname is bad. At least it will differentiate her from the 95 other girls with her name on the playground. ;) :D I thought you were going to say some ridiculous nickname (I know some people who nickname their dc worse... BeeBee, MooMoo type stuff... and expect others to use it :lol:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasRachel Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 I don't actually understand why people name their children so they can call them something else. That's weird to me. :001_huh: None of my kids have nicknames, except the youngest. And I think he's the only one who could have a nickname with his given name. The obvious nickname isn't what he's called though. He's called Augie because his older brother could only pronounce his name as Augerber so I shortened it. So he too has a nickname for a nickname. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 We named ds after dh, but we use his middle name instead. When we told mil, she said, "Well, I'll just call him "Little DiminutiveFormofDh'sFirstName." Dh said, with a firm tone and a straight face, "No, you will call him ___, because that is his name." :D He is super-duper nice to him momma, but that wasn't going to fly. :001_smile: I don't think her nickname is bad. At least it will differentiate her from the 95 other girls with her name on the playground. ;) :D I thought you were going to say some ridiculous nickname (I know some people who nickname their dc worse... BeeBee, MooMoo type stuff... and expect others to use it :lol:) That's funny, especially since the paragraph before you oh-so-clearly asserted that it is the parents' right to call their child what they want. Perhaps your MIL thought your son's middle name fell into the "worse... BeeBee, MooMoo type stuff." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 My grand daughter's nickname (which is a 'version' of her given name) just happens to be what my last name was when married to xh. I cal lher by her given name not the nickname and folks understand why I do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 That's funny, especially since the paragraph before you oh-so-clearly asserted that it is the parents' right to call their child what they want. Perhaps your MIL thought your son's middle name fell into the "worse... BeeBee, MooMoo type stuff." :lol: That was my point exactly. It could be worse, and I would still think you would need to use what the parents want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Delores:lol: I'm LOL so hard I can't breathe... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I think that because one of your children has the name as her middle name, that you have to be extra sensitive to the parent's feelings on the matter. If you always call her by the full name, they may think that it is because of your daughter. Although it is difficult, I think you have to let go of what you think of the name and just accept it. Some nicknames don't stick. When she gets to school, she might begin to be called the full name and then you can switch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 and I was going to add the name Ennis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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