eternalknot Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I read an article, once, probably in Vogue or Cosmo :tongue_smilie:that you were better off marrying someone who was not the same birth order that you were. The presumption was that too similar of personalities might make for more clashes and challenges as a couple. Did you marry someone of your same birth order? I'm a middle child, but in the older third of my sibling set. I married an oldest child. Our dynamic has been interesting, both a source of closeness and of competition LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 DH is the oldest of 2 and I'm the youngest of 6. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm the middle child. DH is the oldest, although he was an only until he was 17. I have no idea how that affects us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm an oldest and I married a middle/functional oldest. We both definitely like to be in charge! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Dh and I are both firstborns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I am the second of five, and the eldest girl. Dh is the 2nd/youngest, having a brother 4 years senior. In many ways he is more like an *only* than a *youngest*. In fact, I don't think he has any characteristics usually associated with youngest. For our marriage, I think personality plays more of a role than birth order. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Dh and I are both firstborns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm a firstborn married to a youngest. I always have to run around picking up socks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidsnbooks8 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I am the oldest of 3 and dh is 2nd oldest of 4. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I am the oldest of 2, my husband is the 4th of 7. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleGreen Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Oldest happily married to a youngest. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WiseOwlKnits Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 DH and I are both youngest children. He has 1 older brother. I have 1 older sister. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoVanGogh Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Not only are DH and I both middle children, we both have a same gender sibling one year older than we are and an opposite gender sibling many years younger than we are. DH - has a brother one year older and a sister 8 years younger. I have a sister one year older and a brother 12 years younger. I think the age gap between us and our younger siblings means we were both displaced babies of the family. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyR Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 My husband and I are first borns. We are both stubborn and it can be a challenge to live with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeannie in NJ Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm the oldest and( only girl) of 3 and dh is the middle (only boy) of 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm a firstborn married to a youngest. I always have to run around picking up socks. :lol: I'm in the middle, but come from a large family so had many of the expectations and responsibilities of the eldest. We were always grouped in threes, and I was with the eldest three. Drove my husband crazy because I was always left towels on the floor and my clothes in a pile by the closet. As a kid, the middle third usually did laundry because we (eldest third) had to tend to the younger third. DH is he oldest of two, by four years. Incredibly meticulous. My children take after me (I still don't do our laundry) and I feel for the man. Not enough to change, but enough to be sympathetic to his plight LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Nope. I am a middle and DH is the baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 I am the second of five, and the eldest girl. Dh is the 2nd/youngest, having a brother 4 years senior. In many ways he is more like an *only* than a *youngest*. In fact, I don't think he has any characteristics usually associated with youngest.For our marriage, I think personality plays more of a role than birth order. I see what you're saying -- I agree, somewhat, because I see our marriage as being more affected by the size of our families of origin (and how that shaped our personalities) than by our respective birth orders. He's one of two. I'm one of many. Totally different types of households! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm the youngest and dh is the middle child. I guess according to some, I'm sort of an only as there was a six year age gap between me and my closest-in-age sibling. Either way, not the same. ETA: We are both from families with five kids though. He has three brothers and a sister, I have two brothers and two sisters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in OK Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm an only. Dh is the last of three. So...no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sevilla Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm an oldest married to an oldest and it has worked very well over here - my parents are both oldest too and they have a great marriage. I think that due to our birth order we expect our children to be capable of a lot at young ages and that has worked to their benefit (and ours! It's wonderful when preschool age children get their own breakfast and lunch with only verbal instructions from mom :)). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Did you marry someone of your same birth order? Nope. I'm the oldest of three and dh is the youngest of four. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Both first born. We are a driven pair and do very well together. We don't compete, we push eachother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 among my siblings - our family listed first and IL listed second. Eldest married youngest Middle (me) married eldest Youngest married eldest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm an oldest. My husband was the youngest of his mother's and the only of his father. His half siblings are all 10+ years older than he is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 DH and I are both first borns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm an oldest and dh is an only. :) I personally think that onlies can take on the personality type of an oldest OR youngest and dh definitely behaves and was treated like a special only/youngest child. LOL He's special all right. hehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Yes, I married the same birth order...we are both eldest. Looking back, I was only attracted to firstborns also. I could not imagine being married to someone that wasn't (strange, eh?). I think it actually created less clashes with our relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Golly, no! He is # 4, I am # 1 (still am #1 :D) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Yes, both DH and I are firstborns. My sister is 9 years younger; his brother is 4 years younger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BamaTanya Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm the oldest of three who married the youngest of six. Works for us. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinivanMom Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm the oldest of 4 and dh is the 3rd of 4. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I am the middle child. My brother is 4 years older than I and my sister 13 year younger. DH is the youngest. His sister is 6 years older and his brother is 5 years older. My brother is the eldest and he was BOSSY when we were growing up. He thought of himself as "in charge". He's been married twice and he has never had one iota of leadership quality in the marriage. He is a total push-over and completely walked upon. His second wife has made it her life mission to dethrone him and trash any self-confidence he has and he puts up with it. He is an eternal peace maker which is supposedly not characteristic of firstborns and I'm the second born and the leader of the three of us. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Yes, I did. Happily, we are not OCD in the same areas, lol. On the down side, sometimes it takes us a looooong time to make decisions on things like paint color or landscaping because we want it to be PERFECT.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jann in TX Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 We are both 3 of 3 but DH is 9 and 10 years younger than his brother and sister. I'm 2 and 3 years younger than mine. We've been married 26 years... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannah C. Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm the oldest, and I married the youngest. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Both DH and I are firstborns. Yeah we've had a lot of clashes - we are both used to "being the boss". I think I would have been better off marrying an easy laid back middle child :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl in NM Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 No, I married a bratty little brother! There are issue revolving around this, can you tell? :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 My brother is the eldest and he was BOSSY when we were growing up. He thought of himself as "in charge". He's been married twice and he has never had one iota of leadership quality in the marriage. He is a total push-over and completely walked upon. His second wife has made it her life mission to dethrone him and trash any self-confidence he has and he puts up with it. He is an eternal peace maker which is supposedly not characteristic of firstborns and I'm the second born and the leader of the three of us. Faith Was your mother stronger than your dad, personality-wise? I ask because I notice similar traits in my eldest-child dad. I think he grew up forever trying to make peace between his parents. Yes, I did. Happily, we are not OCD in the same areas, lol. On the down side, sometimes it takes us a looooong time to make decisions on things like paint color or landscaping because we want it to be PERFECT.:glare: I'm an oldest and dh is an only. :) I personally think that onlies can take on the personality type of an oldest OR youngest and dh definitely behaves and was treated like a special only/youngest child. LOL He's special all right. hehe I said in the other thread-my dh has a sister, nine years older than him who moved out when she was 13. The sun rose and set on dh. He has the personality of an only. I agree it is a combination of eldest and youngest child personality traits. Like Ellie, we are OCD in different ways. We compartmentalize things. But it does take a long, long time to make decisions about things like furniture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm oldest of 2, happily married to #3 of 4 (or #6 of 7 after the steps were included). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I am the oldest and married an oldest child as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm an only and DH is 5th out of 6. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holly IN Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I am the youngest and I married a middle child. However I do not believe in the birth order aspect at all. My personality is/was shaped by God not by my birth order. That is why we treat each of our kids as our first born. I read an article, once, probably in Vogue or Cosmo :tongue_smilie:that you were better off marrying someone who was not the same birth order that you were. The presumption was that too similar of personalities might make for more clashes and challenges as a couple. Did you marry someone of your same birth order? I'm a middle child, but in the older third of my sibling set. I married an oldest child. Our dynamic has been interesting, both a source of closeness and of competition LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abacus2 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I'm the oldest of 4, dh is the 2nd of 4. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxanne23 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 (edited) . Edited January 4, 2023 by roxanne23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eloquacious Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Both firstborns...and yes, we are too similar at times. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeaganS Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 We are both the oldest of 6 kids, and it totally shows for us. We are both stereotypical oldest children and come from similar families. We both have an overdeveloped sense of justice and we bicker a ton, but it works for us. It also means that our kids have no cousins and that our daughter is the oldest grandchild on both sides of the family. We will probably be done having our children before any of our siblings have their first kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eloquacious Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 That is why we treat each of our kids as our first born. I would be interested in how you accomplish this. We only have two so far and we already see differences in personality that can, at least to our understanding, be traced back to how they are treated... and how they are treated has to do with birth order only in the sense that I only have so many arms. My first son had all my attention for so long, but I simply can't give that to my second. Likewise, my older son had only adults around for ages, while my younger son has his older brother... and gets beat up and loved on in turns by said brother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtroad Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Dh and I are both firstborns. Same here. It can be tough at times.... but never boring and always alot going on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyJoy Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I am a firstborn, and dh is a lastborn of three. However, he really doesn't seem to fit any of the profiles of youngest children that I've seen. He is much more like a firstborn, in my opinion. He's only 3 years younger than his brother who is a classic middle child, so he doesn't fall under the big-age-gap-so-he-is-really-like-an-oldest exception. I do know that he is gifted and his parents definitely didn't baby or coddle him, so maybe that accounts for some of the difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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