Home schooling as a team effort

[Aelwydd]

My husband (John) and I have been home schooling our ds together since last October, when we pulled him from his charter school. Our son had been happy with the charter school in K and 1st grade; but the second grade posed a lot of challenges, in the form of pressure on the students to begin preparing for the TAKS (3rd grade EOY test). Also, he was missing too many days due to complications with his asthma, and was in danger of being booted out to his local ps, and having to repeat the entire semester (despite having straight A's).

 

Anyway, I had already been considering hs'ing, when the absentee issue came to a head; my dh then mentioned that he was strongly considering hs'ing, and I told him I was thinking the same thing. So, since it was a mutual decision, we have undertaken this as a tag team effort. I tend to cover Jackson's grammar, reading, writing, and science, and dh has been teaching him French, history, and social studies. We both work on math with him.

 

It seems to work well for ds, and I was wondering if there were other families here where hs'ing is a co-parenting project? Does it work well for you, or do you find it difficult to agree on the way to approach some subjects?

 

Also, if it's not a mom + dad effort, is it because of your preference, or because it's just not practical, etc.?

 

Polite discussion and debate is welcome, but please remain respectful. :001_smile:

[KristinaBreece]

My husband (John) and I have been home schooling our ds together since last October, when we pulled him from his charter school. Our son had been happy with the charter school in K and 1st grade; but the second grade posed a lot of challenges, in the form of pressure on the students to begin preparing for the TAKS (3rd grade EOY test). Also, he was missing too many days due to complications with his asthma, and was in danger of being booted out to his local ps, and having to repeat the entire semester (despite having straight A's).

 

Anyway, I had already been considering hs'ing, when the absentee issue came to a head; my dh then mentioned that he was strongly considering hs'ing, and I told him I was thinking the same thing. So, since it was a mutual decision, we have undertaken this as a tag team effort. I tend to cover Jackson's grammar, reading, writing, and science, and dh has been teaching him French, history, and social studies. We both work on math with him.

 

It seems to work well for ds, and I was wondering if there were other families here where hs'ing is a co-parenting project? Does it work well for you, or do you find it difficult to agree on the way to approach some subjects?

 

Also, if it's not a mom + dad effort, is it because of your preference, or because it's just not practical, etc.?

 

Polite discussion and debate is welcome, but please remain respectful. :001_smile:

 

My DH & I have talked about this. For now, while DS is working on K-level work, I'm doing most of it, with DH stepping in for the odd science moment. I think we'll probably continue this way, for many reasons. He works full-time, while I stay at home... and he's just not as patient.

[Parrothead]

 

Also, if it's not a mom + dad effort, is it because of your preference, or because it's just not practical, etc.?

 

 

School isn't something dh is particularly interested in. I asked him to teach dd Spanish (which he knew/knows) when we first started but he didn't want to. Now if I need him to take over for a morning or something he pulls a Bill Cosby chocolate cake routine.

[G5052]

Most of the DH's work long hours and/or have long commutes. Among my local friends, the only ones who have done it consistently were able to do because of self-employment, unusual work hours, etc.

 

We discuss curriculum choices and read together as a family in the evening, but we've never managed more than that. He can take over for me at any time because he's familiar with where things are, how I run the day, etc., but we've only had to do that a few times.

[trailofsparks]

Dh is defnitely involved, but informally. Here and there he'll teach them art skills (mostly sketching) or botany b/c he's into gardening. For botany, he'll read an entire chapter (Apologia) and teach while he's engaging the dc in the gardening activity. They don't realize they're learning from the text.

 

Dh's work schedule is not very conducive to more than this and, honestly, I am more than fine with our arrangement. I really enjoy reseaching curricula and I enjoy learning with our dc. Dh is more mathy, so he may kick in a bit more for high school math. Dh is also a history buff, so there is constant discussion. Oh, and he often has ds reading the same book that he is, so they can discuss.

[Tarreymere]

My DH works a 36 hour week and has a minimal commute. He could homeschool if he wanted to, and I have tried to get him interested in doing some of it. He wants the kids homeschooled, he is happy that I do it, but his eyes glaze over if I want to talk about curriculum (whatever you decide is fine, honey) or bring up the idea of him teaching a class. I think this is odd, since he teaches some classes as a part of his job and presumably he has more of an interest in his children and what they are learning, but this is the way it is.

[----]

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[MeaganS]

We don't even homeschool yet, but I already know how it is going to be with regards to responsibility. 100% sure that it will be all me. My husband doesn't really even want to hear about curriculum or scope and sequence. He just wants to know that they are getting an education as good, or better than their public schooled pears are getting and beyond that he doesn't really care. He just has a lot of other things going on and will be very very busy with work. We work best as a couple when there are distinct lines of responsibilities. And you know what, I'm happy with that arrangement. It gives me power over what I feel strongly about without having to really report to anyone. I think that's great that other couples work other ways, but that's just not us. I have this forum to talk to about the intricacies of educational theory.

[Plucky]

If it works then do it. Do you both work? Here dh works a lot, and I stay home and homeschool. My dh does do things like teach life skills, yard work, carpentry, woodcarving, knots, scouting, camping, and he loves science experiments including disection so he does that with them. He doesn't have the patience or consistency for homeschooling, but that is okay. As a team we work together for our family. I say if a family is happy and it's working for them then it's all good.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

My dh does NOT help! Nope, not one bit. He keeps on talking about doing art class with the kids but I have yet to see it :glare: Dh is an AMAZING artist :001_huh:

[Mimm]

My husband works full time. I don't. I talk to him about it and get his input if I'm struggling with an issue but otherwise, it's all me. I'm fine with that. We would argue too much. :)

[Paula in PA]

My dh covers history and geography with dd. Those are his areas of interest and he enjoys them. I most definitely do not. I do everything else with her. He'll also be my sounding board for curriculum talk (required for history and geo stuff, being nice for the rest).

 

And yes, I do know how lucky I am.

[Aelwydd]

If it works then do it. Do you both work?

 

Not right now, although I'm looking for full time work (I just finished my B.S.). The ideal situation would be for me to find an excellent paying position, so dh could quit and be a SAD, and finish his own degree. DH is working full time, and he usually spends about an hour each day and on the weekends with ds.

 

Here dh works a lot, and I stay home and homeschool. My dh does do things like teach life skills, yard work, carpentry, woodcarving, knots, scouting, camping, and he loves science experiments including disection so he does that with them. He doesn't have the patience or consistency for homeschooling, but that is okay. As a team we work together for our family. I say if a family is happy and it's working for them then it's all good.

 

I think those life skills are awesome. I still count all that as hs'ing, because it's like combining art, home ec, shop, and science in one. Very cool of your dh. :thumbup1:

[Lolly]

Considering that dh leaves the house at 5:30 and often comes home around 7 (often later), I just don't think that him teaching the kids would work out very well. :lol:

[Plucky]

Not right now, although I'm looking for full time work (I just finished my B.S.). The ideal situation would be for me to find an excellent paying position, so dh could quit and be a SAD, and finish his own degree. DH is working full time, and he usually spends about an hour each day and on the weekends with ds.

 

 

 

I think those life skills are awesome. I still count all that as hs'ing, because it's like combining art, home ec, shop, and science in one. Very cool of your dh. :thumbup1:

 

Thanks, you are very sweet. If your dh is committed to hsing and will be the SAD it will work. I know we have a few or so hs dads on here that are awesome. Good luck. :001_smile:

[WTMCassandra]

You will be the envy of many on the board! My husband helps where he can in his areas of expertise: algebra, science experiments, Greek, robotics, drawing with art pencils, woodworking, etc. As the mathy parent, he makes the final decisions on math curricula. In English, Latin, and history, he defers to me. In science, we decide together.

Edited May 26, 2011 by WTMCassandra

[Jamee]

DH is very much involved here. He does a lot, if not most of the math--his specialty. That will change in the fall when he deploys, but he's still hoping to help out as he can with Skype. We'll see how it goes.

[Geo]

My dh does NOT help! Nope, not one bit. He keeps on talking about doing art class with the kids but I have yet to see it :glare: Dh is an AMAZING artist :001_huh:

 

Aw, come on...at least he hands over the cash for curriculum! ;)

[Karen in CO]

My hubby is sweet, but..... he hasn't been able to figure out how to homeschool. He really wanted to teach one of the subjects to the kids this year so I gave him kindergarten science. So far they've done 2 science lessons. Yep, 2. Today was the last day of school.

 

He is most valuable to me in homeschooling when he takes the kids out for an energetic break so I can have a few minutes of peace in my day. He also brings me coffee and will make me lunch.

[kalanamak]

Hubby stays at home, and if definitely teaching sailing, skiing, carpentry, camping, etc, but he can't do the book stuff (severe dyslexia). He does have to cluck over kiddo while I'm at work making sure the handwriting practice is completed etc, and that kiddo is run, fed, and clean when I get home, because I'm often pooped when I roll in the door. I do the bookwork, then hubby plays with/takes to the beach or Y while I eat, relax, document our schoolwork, plan, lay out the stuff for tomorrow, pack my lunch, etc (and read the board :D), and get my own studying done.

[texasmama]

I do 100% of the homeschooling. I also work part-time. My dh owns a business which he runs from our home. He could be responsible for part of the homeschooling if he had the least bit of interest in it. I did assign him literature readalouds to do before the boys went to bed, but he became so terribly behind that I had to read during the summer to make up lost ground. So I fired him from that job.:D As a pp posted about her dh, my dh's eyes glaze over when I discuss curriculum. He is very, very supportive of ME homeschooling, and he doesn't butt in with advice and such, which is the upside of him leaving it to me.;)

 

As an aside, my kids stay with my dad while I do my part time work. During a particularly heavy semester last year, I had the bright idea that my dad could help the boys with some of their science (reading aloud the book and helping them answer questions). He did it once and complained mightily that it wore him out, so I never asked again. :tongue_smilie: So, if it is to be, it is up to me.:lol:

 

It's great that you and dh share the homeschooling.:001_smile:

[Holly IN]

We tag team... We have to actually due to both of us working full time. :001_smile: More later if I have time.

 

Holly

[elise1mds]

My situation is much like texasmama's.

 

It was my idea to bring DS home, and while DH is supportive, he's not around due to his work hours and is just flat not interested in being very involved. He knows that I'm quite happy to do all the curriculum comparison and purchasing, the planning and the teaching, and all the stuff that goes with it. He fully admits that he'd get bored so fast, it wouldn't even be funny! I'd wind up feeling like I needed to come behind him to check everything, anyway. If I have a day where I'm sick or have to be elsewhere, he's happy to follow any plans I've laid out, but even then I'm likely to get called to answer various questions. I had a part-time job for three years but quit recently. It's nice to be home, large and in charge ;)

[Aelwydd]

I can totally understand those husbands who find hs'ing to be a bit overwhelming and/or tedious. When we first started last fall, we were hs'ing as an alternative to our first choice, which would be public schooling. Private schools were too expensive for us, so that left hs'ing, and when I first started with ds, I felt kind of lost, too.

 

Fortunately, some friends of mine (members on this board) pointed me to WTE, Math Mammoth, and other curricula that really meshed with what dh and I wanted (secular, liberal arts focus with a strong emphasis on science and math) for ds. It took me a while to give myself permission to stop trying to mimic the ps environment, with worksheets and quizzes and all that.

 

Now, we have shifted to a low-pressure approach, where quizzes and tests are really very infrequent. We're more interested in the quality of work ds produces, and we plan to simply administer standardized tests twice a year, just to see how he is incorporating everything.

 

I think I could do hs'ing myself, but dh's contributions definitely enhance Jackson's education. John (dh) is very much invested in the whole process, because he wants to make sure Jackson is keeping on track academically and progressing as he should.

 

P.S. John actually just joined the board tonight ("Bonsoir" thread)--he got curious after I told him I found a forum full of classical education hs'ers. ;)

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

Aw, come on...at least he hands over the cash for curriculum! ;)

 

 

Ah that he does :001_wub: No questions asked and he just says whatever you want honey!!!

Edited May 26, 2011 by wy_kid_wrangler04

[Alenee]

My dh works long hours with a long commute. He *will* step in with enrichment activities where he's gifted. Do I wish at times, that he'd engage a bit more? Absolutely! However, this has been my "job" from the beginning and I knew that ahead of time. The only time it gets to me is when I hear of dads who ARE able and willing to step in and takeover to give mom a break. Otherwise, it's just the way it is and I can be satisfied with that.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

my dh's eyes glaze over when I discuss curriculum. He is very, very supportive of ME homeschooling, and he doesn't butt in with advice and such, which is the upside of him leaving it to me.;)

 

 

 

Are we married to the same guy :confused: You just described dh 100% :lol:

[Twilight Woods]

We will be begin our journey in July. :) I will be doing the majority of the teaching during the day. DH will be doing the science [he loves it] with the girls in the evening after dinner. He will also pick up the higher level math once we get to that b/c I am not comfortable teaching it. He LOVES math and can do weird caculations in his head. I may even give him Math in the evenings as well, we just have to see how the schedule works. If I give him Math and Science then that will free us up to expand on art/projects and more interest led acitivities.

 

So YES it is a joint effort. :)

[Virg]

As a pp posted about her dh, my dh's eyes glaze over when I discuss curriculum. He is very, very supportive of ME homeschooling, and he doesn't butt in with advice and such, which is the upside of him leaving it to me.;)

:iagree:

Exactly as it is here :) He does pay for it though!

[mamachanse]

My dh used to do history and math with ds when I worked and he had a weekday morning off. Then we started a PE class the morning he had off and I stopped working on the weekends and we could actually have family time! He will help with whatever needs to be done whenever, but it works great with me schooling the kids all week because I need to keep them busy anyway. And then we have fun, free weekends.

 

And he knows what curricula we use! :D

[Rosie_0801]

Dh likes the idea of reading bedtime stories, and likes the practice of it. Somehow that bit in between seems disagreeable. I have to guilt trip him.

 

"Hey, Dude! Zia is waiting for you to read her a bedtime story!" yields a higher chance of success than "Will you please come and read a bedtime story." :lol:

 

He feels cool when he's "allowed" to be involved in our totschooling if we're doing it on one of his days off. He comes in to interrupt us, gets glares and "Dude! We're working!" from me and "sit down" from dd, so I assign him to read or sometimes to repeat an activity we were doing while I go to wash dishes or something. She likes it, and he likes it too for about 5 minutes, then he's over it. :tongue_smilie:

 

I think he'll want to be more involved when they are big enough to do Latin, because he has a thing for Latin, and he's already said he'll come and play history with Aubrey's modules. Game grids get him excited.

 

:)

Rosie

[Peela]

For us, dh has zero interest in academic school work, or even reading books. I was always the one reading to them anyway from birth- also the one organising their activities and social lives.And its not that dh didnt have the time- he did- he works unusual hours. But I was the one who wanted to homeschool.

But he has supported it in his own way, completely. I preferred it this way anyway- I preferred not to have to consult about which curricula to use etc.

 

A term was coined here years ago by a freudian type slip of the keyboard- husbanK. Dh and I have joked that he is the husbanK for years now. And he would never have been ok with having the kids in multiple activities- he would have just not let them do them rather than have to drive them places. Kind of old fashioned, sometimes very annoying, but I made it work for me.

 

I do envy couples at times where the dad is more involved- I think it is more common in the generation younger than me- well, at least younger than dh, who is an older dad.

[EthiopianFood]

If dh wasn't willing to work, I would not be able to homeschool. We are definitely homeschooling as a team effort. :001_smile:

[Mama Geek]

We aren't homeschooling yet, but dh has a lot of interest in being involved. We recognize that if we both view education as important enough to take the time with dd that she will view it as important as well. Plus dh loves spending time with dd.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Dh's role is in financial and theoretical support. He will glaze over, too, when forced to actually listen to me about curriculum, etc. The nitty gritty of homeschooling definitely falls into his category of "white noise" when I'm talking to him (along with scrapbooking, playdates, yard work and shopping). :lol:

 

I am thankful that he trusts me to do a competent job and doesn't have opinions to interject. He does participate in Cub Scout events with the boys, and does try to persuade them to do sports, but that is about as involved as he gets with the day-to-day operations. This works for us.

 

It's wonderful that you and your spouse share the homeschooling. I think your son will really benefit from both of you being actively involved.

[twoforjoy]

My DH is very interested in being involved. Honestly, he'd probably do a lot more if I weren't kind of a control freak about homeschooling and didn't want to get all of the boxes I've made checked off within a certain amount of time. Once in a while I'll leave a science experiment I really don't feel like doing for DH and DS to do after dinner, and they both really enjoy it. DH will be taking over for a month or so after I have the baby, and he's excited.

 

When I teach, I'm out two mornings a week, and usually DH tries to do some school with DS then. He leaves language arts and history entirely to me, but he does science, some basic computer programming stuff, and sometimes math with DS if he can manage. Before DD was born they would do school together pretty consistently when I was out, and DS loved "daddy school" a lot more than "mommy school." But once DD was born, DH found it a lot harder to get school done (he's not quite as comfortable with multitasking as I am), so usually they'd just all hang out in the mornings and I'd do school in the afternoon those days.

 

I really should leave science for DH and DS to do when DH gets home from work, though. They both enjoy it, and I really don't like doing science experiments.

[iquilt]

I am the stay at home parent and have been for 10 years, so I am primarily responsible for everything kid/home related. When we started homeschooling every year I've discussed major decisions with dh but I decide everything. When I told him I needed more help he hired cleaners for our home, probably the most helpful thing ever! He is an independent business owner and works a lot, usually between 60-90 hours a week, so there is only so much he can do. He is, however, in charge of all regular kid doctor and dentist appointments, which is a huge help as that is practical and truly one less thing for me to remember. He is a finance guy with a political science Master's degree so I've asked him to teach us about the stock market and to help understand current political events, but he is not in charge of anything that needs to happen every week.

 

Dh's biggest role over the years has been home school advocate-he tells everyone (and he meets a lot of people daily) that I homeschool our kids and how great it is and how good it's been for our family, etc. Many of his clients are teachers or retired teachers and not one has been anything but encouraging to hear all about our homeschooling. He could be one of those motivational speakers at convention, he is very supportive and pays for everything no questions asked,

Edited May 26, 2011 by iquilt
Added

[Joyofsixreboot]

My dh loves his kids but has NO teaching ability. He brings the kids to tears. He reads to the littles and watches documentaries with them. On the other hand my older kids are quite good at helping the youngers and explaining things.

[nono]

My dh works from home when he isn't traveling. He's my substitute teacher. :) For real! If I'm woefully behind in the rest of my life's responsibilities, he volunteers to teach for a bit so I can catch up with bills, errands etc. If he has a conference call cancel and is in a holding pattern, he'll pop out of his office and kick me out of the school room and take over the subject matter.

 

We also worked together professionally for years, so we have had a lot of practice teaming together. In other words, we've always in each others' business. :tongue_smilie: So much so that I can finish off his slide decks for his presentations when he has too much work to do and firm time deadlines.

 

In our situation, it would be an artificial construct to have my domain and his domain. That doesn't make our way right. It simply makes it right for us. :) Have fun on your journey!

[funmamacita]

I guess I'm pretty lucky because my husband and I are definitely partners in homeschooling. (We both work from home; I probably put in more work hours each week than he does most of the time.) We research and choose curriculum together and have a weekly school planning meeting to decide what we're going to cover and who's going to teach what. Some weeks I teach more; some weeks he does. We're fortunate to have the flexibility -- and fortunate that we (mostly!) agree on methods and priorities. :001_smile:

[angela in ohio]

My dh works 60+ hours a week making sure hundreds of other kiddos are getting a good education :001_smile: so I take care of things at home. He did recently do our fish dissection (yuck!) for me, though. I do consider him a full partner in homeschooling, though he doesn't do the hands-on day-to-day stuff. He supports our homeschooling financially and makes the decisions about curriculum with me. Dh is also a natural teacher (which is why he is where he is,) so he teaches our dc constantly through life experiences, and he helps me with any issues that come up. Of course, I love the day-to-day work of homeschooling, and I would be sad to give any of it up, so the nicest thing dh can do is to let me do it. :)

[Lizzie in Ma]

My husband (John) and I have been home schooling our ds together since last October, when we pulled him from his charter school. Our son had been happy with the charter school in K and 1st grade; but the second grade posed a lot of challenges, in the form of pressure on the students to begin preparing for the TAKS (3rd grade EOY test). Also, he was missing too many days due to complications with his asthma, and was in danger of being booted out to his local ps, and having to repeat the entire semester (despite having straight A's).

 

Anyway, I had already been considering hs'ing, when the absentee issue came to a head; my dh then mentioned that he was strongly considering hs'ing, and I told him I was thinking the same thing. So, since it was a mutual decision, we have undertaken this as a tag team effort. I tend to cover Jackson's grammar, reading, writing, and science, and dh has been teaching him French, history, and social studies. We both work on math with him.

 

It seems to work well for ds, and I was wondering if there were other families here where hs'ing is a co-parenting project? Does it work well for you, or do you find it difficult to agree on the way to approach some subjects?

 

Also, if it's not a mom + dad effort, is it because of your preference, or because it's just not practical, etc.?

 

Polite discussion and debate is welcome, but please remain respectful. :001_smile:

 

I think it is fabulous when Dad helps with homeschooling. I wish it were the case here, for math mostly.

However, we barely scrape by on the one paycheck and he works long days.

So, not practical here, though he will help after supper as needed if our high schooler is stuck.

[lllll]

...

[Alice]

School isn't something dh is particularly interested in. I asked him to teach dd Spanish (which he knew/knows) when we first started but he didn't want to. Now if I need him to take over for a morning or something he pulls a Bill Cosby chocolate cake routine.

 

Dad is great...Dad is great....He gives us the chocolate cake!

 

Both dh and I work part-time. I work slightly off hours so it ends up that he's home two half days and I'm home the rest. Right now he teaches on the one morning a week I am gone (the other half day is an afternoon and typically we're already done with school.)

 

For us it's been an evolving process and will probably continue to change. Last year for first grade, dh didnt' teach at all. We could get everything done in the time when I was home. This year we added a co-op on one of my days at home so dh started teaching on his morning home. This year I've given him "lesson plans" to do. It's worked pretty well.

 

Next year we'll likely makes some changes. I've found homeschooling and working harder this year and I need him to take over more of the responsibility. Both teaching and also just decision making. He's willing to do that and mostly it's been my own control tendencies that have kept him from doing it more.

 

That and the "chocolate cake effect". I hear from my son all the time how "it's so much easier on Daddy's day". :)

 

All to say, I think that each family is different. I think it's always a team effort but that looks different for individual families. For some it's a Dad supporting Mom for some it's both parents teaching 50% and for a lot it's somewhere in between.

[elise1mds]

And he knows what curricula we use! :D

 

Kudos to him!! For a long, long time, when I would mention something about Math-U-See, my DH would get all confused and ask, "Who's Matthew C.?"

[texasmama]

Kudos to him!! For a long, long time, when I would mention something about Math-U-See, my DH would get all confused and ask, "Who's Matthew C.?"

 

:lol: My goal is to get my husband to remember which kids are allergic to penicillin and which are not. Forget curriculum!:lol:

[Bootsie]

DH and I hs together. We both work full-time as college professors with odd (to most people) schedules. I am generally responsible for Tuesdays and Thursdays, and dh does Mondays and Wednesdays. Fridays are a toss-up. This is our first year hs, so we have been feeling our way of how it will work best. We both do math; I have focused on English and history; dh has focused on science, memory work, PE, computer programming. However, these boundaries are not firm.

 

It has worked fairly smoothly for us. The main issue we have had to watch out for is ds can try hard to play one teacher (parent) against the other--"Mom doesn't make me do that," "Dad let's me work with the TV on," etc.

[Melinda]

My husband is a wonderful guy and multi-talented, but he does not help with school. He works 9 hour days and has a 1 1/2 hour commute each way, so when he is here he is all about fun. Since he works 9 hour days, it enables him to be off work every other Friday. He sees the kids roughly 1 hour a day on work days, and that is dinner/bedtime routine.

 

I am envious of all of you that have some help with school!

[ondreeuh]

My dh is out of the loop. It's not that he's a distant dad, but honestly I've cornered the market for this homeschooling thing. He is a teacher, but it's different to teach a class history than to tutor 1:1 on skill work.

 

DS really struggles with spelling, and yesterday one of the words he got wrong was "table." Dh commented that he had spelled it incorrectly twice that day for his class, and it was a good thing he wasn't teaching ds to spell. :)

[dcjlkplus3]

I usually do all the planning (because I like to), but I talk to my dh about what to use all of the time (more than he wants to hear usually). The kids LOVE doing school with Daddy and he loves doing it with them. He is actually the better teacher (I think), while I am definately the better planner. He can't help out as much as we would like because of work.