How many of your children really don't know about 9/11?

[TXMomof4]

In another post there were several people who said their children didn't really know about 9/11 and they didn't know what to tell them about bin Laden.

 

I understand really little kids not *knowing* about 9/11, but older children, 8,9, 10 yos, really, they don't know about it? They don't know that we're at war? How, and more importantly, why would you not tell your children about this?

 

I understand not telling them the gory details, but the fact is that hundreds of thousands of Americans are still sacrificing daily because of that day and I can't imagine not having it be something that is at least recognized as important in our nation. Can you imagine a child born in the 40s not being aware that a war was being fought? Our life was changed completely by 9/11 - I can't fathom it not being known at all by our children. Do you also not tell them about the earthquake in Japan, the tsunami in Asia a few years ago, the earthquake in Australia?

 

I just can't get my brain around this.

[babysparkler]

My 9yo has a friend sleeping over who doesn't know about 9/11. I was shocked. I had to tiptoe around this when I discussed the breaking news last night with the kids... but wow... I can't imagine my 9yo not knowing about it.

[Katiebug_1976]

We are very open with our kids about the happenings around the world (obviously leaving out graphic details that are not appropriate for the younger ones). I think it is important for our children to know, to whatever degree is appropriate, what is going on in the world around them. They're bound to hear about it somewhere anyway(and not necessarily just facts...some people tend to exagerate the details and freak kids out whether on purpose or not), so I think they will handle it better if dh and I have already discussed it with them and they are aware of it.

[snickelfritz]

My dd's are almost 8 and 5 1/2. I don't see our view changing soon, so here's what we do....

 

My kids know these things, in general. We have been at the airport when servicemen and women returned and the whole airport applauded them. We talk about their sacrifice, how their families miss them, etc....

 

Because she has heard references, we have talked about the OKC bombing and 9/11. If you directly asked her, I don't know what specifics she could give you.

 

We also talk about tornados, Japan earthquake, etc....

 

I probably won't tell her about Osama, unless she hears about it and asks.

 

We limit news footage ( we did let them watch a tiny bit about the earthquake

and tsunami). Footage showed the natural phenomena, though we limited any gory details.

 

I just don't think they need to try to comprehend the reason everyone is glad

a person died.....even someone like Osama. It's a sophisticated concept and one I don't want her to have to tackle just yet.

[LibraryLover]

You can see my children were very young when it happned. Of course they knew, espcially my oldest, who was 12. We discussed it with him, he read the paper, we answered his questions as best we could.

 

The middle children knew something as well, because everyone was talking about it, so we talked to them, to reassure them. But when it happened, they didn't know. They heard planes had crashed and people died. We did not talk to them about 'war'. Right or wrong, my children have no frightening memories of the time, no fears that they were going to be killed, which I know some children did have. My younger children did not see the towers visuals until they were older. My youngest never has. The TV was 100% off during their waking hours. We got our news from print. Of course, the baby was oblivious.

 

In another post there were several people who said their children didn't really know about 9/11 and they didn't know what to tell them about bin Laden.

 

I understand really little kids not *knowing* about 9/11, but older children, 8,9, 10 yos, really, they don't know about it? They don't know that we're at war? How, and more importantly, why would you not tell your children about this?

 

I understand not telling them the gory details, but the fact is that hundreds of thousands of Americans are still sacrificing daily because of that day and I can't imagine not having it be something that is at least recognized as important in our nation. Can you imagine a child born in the 40s not being aware that a war was being fought? Our life was changed completely by 9/11 - I can't fathom it not being known at all by our children. Do you also not tell them about the earthquake in Japan, the tsunami in Asia a few years ago, the earthquake in Australia?

 

I just can't get my brain around this.

[melissel]

Do you want actual responses, or do you just want someone to reprimand?

 

My children don't know about 9/11. They know we're at war. They know people don't like our country. I was in Manhattan on 9/11, watching the towers fall from the roof of my office building a mile away. Our apartment in Jersey City had a direct view of the towers that were there, and then were not. We smelled the smells of the site for over a year afterward. I was terrified to take public transit to work and worked from home for 6 months afterward. My first child was born almost exactly a year later, on 9/7. I still can't talk about it without bursting into tears. I haven't been on a plane since that day. Until about two years ago, I flinched and sweated anytime a plane or helicopter went low overhead, and I spent weeks in the early fall with feelings of uneasiness and dread.

 

So no, I haven't told my children, and I don't know when I will. They're sensitive, particularly my DD8. It's not something I feel I need to introduce to unless it happens naturally. Someday they'll know about it, and sometime I'll tell them my experience. But until the day it comes up in our studies or naturally, I don't see a reason to introduce that fear to them randomly.

 

ETA: They know about the tsunami and the earthquake because those things just happened, and they didn't happen in the city that we visit every two weeks and where their grandmother still lives.

Edited May 2, 2011 by melissel

[GoVanGogh]

I was pregnant on 9/11 and it was a highly emotional day, as my step-sister lived near the towers at the time and was unable to contact family.

I have just never been able to talk about it with DS without all the emotions of that day flooding back. He knows a bit about that day, but doesn't know beyond the towers. It has just never really come up, despite the fact that we have never really tried to 'shelter' him from the information.

 

He does know about the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, he knows about the (local) wildfires in Texas, he knows about the tornadoes last week. He knows most current events from the past few years, but not further back than that. He knows we are are fighting several wars and where they are, just not 'why' we are at war. (I don't even know that I understand why we are at war and I have degrees in journalism and political science. :tongue_smilie:)

[LidiyaDawn]

Do you want actual responses, or do you just want someone to reprimand?

 

 

 

Exactly what I was going to ask.

[TN Mama]

In another post there were several people who said their children didn't really know about 9/11 and they didn't know what to tell them about bin Laden.

 

I understand really little kids not *knowing* about 9/11, but older children, 8,9, 10 yos, really, they don't know about it? They don't know that we're at war? How, and more importantly, why would you not tell your children about this?

 

I understand not telling them the gory details, but the fact is that hundreds of thousands of Americans are still sacrificing daily because of that day and I can't imagine not having it be something that is at least recognized as important in our nation. Can you imagine a child born in the 40s not being aware that a war was being fought? Our life was changed completely by 9/11 - I can't fathom it not being known at all by our children. Do you also not tell them about the earthquake in Japan, the tsunami in Asia a few years ago, the earthquake in Australia?

 

I just can't get my brain around this.

 

My husband is military, so the kids know we're at war and that we've been at war for a long time. They know few details about 9/11 though. They know that there was an attack on the American people - in this country, but they don't know it involved airplanes, buildings crashing down, or anything like that.

 

I know it's time to tell my 10 year old, but she's a little anxious anyway and if we need to fly somewhere, I don't want it to induce a panic attack. Maybe I'm not giving her enough credit. I just feel like they have a lifetime of things to worry about - later.

 

We did talk about ubl this morning. And they know about earthquakes/tsunamis/other natural disasters and their devastation.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I read my kids this book a while ago, and I told them a little bit about that day. They really couldn't comprehend the magnitude of it. They know in general that something bad happened, but they cannot understand the global ramifications or even the domestic significance. Telling them that Osama Bin Laden has been killed would not really have an impact on them.

[Impish]

My Littles don't know. At 6 and almost 5, I just don't see telling them anytime soon. Even though their eldest brother is now in the Navy, I can't figure out how to explain things without them being scared, so I answer questions in an age appropriate manner, and take it from there.

 

Diva knows. Not about last night's events, yet, but about 9/11.

[TXMomof4]

Do you want actual responses, or do you just want someone to reprimand?

 

My children don't know about 9/11. They know we're at war. They know people don't like our country. I was in Manhattan on 9/11, watching the towers fall from the roof of my office building a mile away. Our apartment in Jersey City had a direct view of the towers that were there, and then were not. We smelled the smells of the site for over a year afterward. I was terrified to take public transit to work and worked from home for 6 months afterward. My first child was born almost exactly a year later, on 9/7. I still can't talk about it without bursting into tears. I haven't been on a plane since that day. Until about two years ago, I flinched and sweated anytime a plane or helicopter went low overhead, and I spent weeks in the early fall with feelings of uneasiness and dread.

 

So no, I haven't told my children, and I don't know when I will. They're sensitive, particularly my DD8. It's not something I feel I need to introduce to unless it happens naturally. Someday they'll know about it, and sometime I'll tell them my experience. But until the day it comes up in our studies or naturally, I don't see a reason to introduce that fear to them randomly.

 

 

I wasn't being snarky - I guess 9/11 just changed our lives so radically that I can't fathom not even allowing my children to know that our country is at war because we were attacked.

 

My oldest just saw footage from 9/11 last year - I don't expect them to grasp the horror of that day when they're very young, but it does define so much of what has happened in our life that I feel they need to know there is a reason why Daddy has to leave for a year at a time. It isn't the fact of 9/11 but the results of 9/11 that they are dealing with and there has to be a reason for it, kwim?

[redsquirrel]

My 10 year old has heard the phrase "nine eleven' but that is it so far. It might be because we don't have tv so there is no intrusion into our family space of news. He said he had heard the phrase "since 9/11" on the radio but that was it and he doesn't know what it means.

 

We live in NY state and know people who suffered loss on that day. Some are part of our extended family. Others are neighbors, coworkers, etc. We also have family in the military. I think that might be part of it. In my circles, 9/11 is still spoken of in whispers or alluded to, always away from the children. People are still grieving.

 

I am also not sure if it possible to understand the horror without seeing the pictures, and I am not up to showing him that yet. I can tell him a plane flew into two buildings and they fell down but how can a child imagine that destruction?

[FaithManor]

My kids know though I suspect that my 10 and 12 year old don't quite get everything yet because they were so young when it happened and we haven't discussed it much in the last two years. However, we will be discussing Bin Laden's assassination as part of today's history/current events.

 

DD was in 5th grade when it happened and she kept several newspaper articles which my next oldest has since read. Two of my former college professors, very dear to me, were on the second plane. Though hard on me, I have tried very hard to not over traumatize my children while still addressing the issues, the loss, etc. in an accessible but appropriate way. That's not an easy balance to find.

 

I had a some anxiety the first time I got on a plane after 9/11 and I still much prefer the train if at all possible. I feel uncomfortable in airports but it's high rises that I really struggle with. Dh has to kind of "talk me into calmness" if I have to get inside a tall building and that's not something I struggled with before 9/11. But, it's manageable without major assistance.

 

The balance is not easy. But, my kids are old enough to know and I just try to make sure I'm calm, collected, and as objective as possible when talking about it. Today, we will actually be having our history lesson tonight. I'm going to do some birthday shopping for ds #3 this afternoon and generally relax. Dh is going to lead the current events discussion this evening which kind of let's me off the hook though I'm sure the children will expect me to participate in the discussion.

 

We don't watch t.v. I get my news online so the kids do not watch media news which helps us maintain a more objective distance to horrible events thereby not over traumatizing the youngers.

 

I never really gave any thought to how other families handle it. I just have always known how we needed to handle it.

 

Faith

[coffeegal]

My oldest 2 children follow current events and are aware of Osama Bin Laden and 911. We've discussed the war around my 11 yo dd and my 8 yo ds. We've also discussed the war with them. I've shown pictures of the towers falling. Friends' fathers have served overseas in Iraq. Imagine my surprise when it turns out the 2 of them weren't aware of who Osama Bin Laden was, they don't remember us discussing 911, and are barely aware of the war. :001_huh:

[melissel]

I wasn't being snarky - I guess 9/11 just changed our lives so radically that I can't fathom not even allowing my children to know that our country is at war because we were attacked.

 

My oldest just saw footage from 9/11 last year - I don't expect them to grasp the horror of that day when they're very young, but it does define so much of what has happened in our life that I feel they need to know there is a reason why Daddy has to leave for a year at a time. It isn't the fact of 9/11 but the results of 9/11 that they are dealing with and there has to be a reason for it, kwim?

 

Is your husband military then? In that case, I would think that your experience of all of it would be vastly different from ours. In your case, I'd probably give them more detail, because it would be close to home in a very different way and it would affect how they view their father and his work.

 

(And if he is military, then :grouphug: and thank you.)

[JenneinCA]

My kids know only vaguely what 9/11 was about. The older ones were almost 3 and almost 1. I didn't see any reason to have them deal with such heavy emotional issues. They were too young. My youngest wasn't yet born. He has no idea.

 

Just like some other posters here choose to limit information about a variety of things from other religious beliefs, various books, various movies, and countless other things. I choose to limit information about the bad things that people can do to each other. They just don't need to know.

 

For the record, they do know about the earthquake in Japan and the ones in Haiti and Australia. They do know about the tornadoes in Alabama. Natural disasters are different. We talk about preparedness for those kind of things as appropriate.

[MaMa2005]

Ironically, DS learned about 9/11 just last week. We were discussing the difference between a statue and a bust and when I g@@gled the images, lo and behold, there were pictures of the towers in flames. DS doesn't let go of something that he wants to know about so I had to explain it to him. He became quite upset and couldn't understand why God couldn't change the heart of the terrorists. It made for a tough discussion. DH and I are going to discuss the events of yesterday tonight and decide how to tell DS. DS is quite aware that we are at war with different nations, but these are some tough issues for a five year old to wrap his brain around.

[eternalknot]

ETA: They know about the tsunami and the earthquake because those things just happened, and they didn't happen in the city that we visit every two weeks and where their grandmother still lives.

 

I think this is very important to realize.

 

The tsunami and earthquakes weren't something that directly affected you, so it's ... easier? less traumatizing to "re-live" through teaching? ... to pass on the relevant current event and information to the children.

 

Having lived through something and/or otherwise been so directly affected by it would naturally make it more difficult for some to jump on the 'teaching experience' there. They're likely too busy still processing their own experience, and that takes time ... and distance ... to do, IMO/IME.

 

I know a family that was interned in American camps during WW2, as they were Japanese and immediately suspect. They don't discuss the issue - at all. Their neighbors do, and remember, and the family's grandkids hear stories from these non-directly affected people who looked after the family home during internment ... but the trauma of the experience has left the elders in the family unable or unwilling to discuss it. They don't even mention those years; they know the kids are aware of the internment, but they leave it to others to discuss the issue. Can't say I don't understand. The farther removed you are from something, the easier it is to process it (and perhaps re-live it through teaching or explaining.)

[CatMomof3]

My dh was in the Army when 9/11 happen and was in Iraq for over the first year of my dd's life, that is why we moved to CA from VA. My oldest knows that we were attacked and that is why daddy had to leave for a while. We still pray for the solders (daddy's friends) that are still fighting. But all the details about 9/11, she does not know...yet.

[Jennifer3141]

My kids are 7 and 5 so they weren't even born around 9/11. We don't have a TV connected to cable or regular TV. So they just don't know much about it. We don't directly know anyone in the military (I have a distant friend with a son in Iraq and that's about it) so it just doesn't come up for us as a family that often.

[Carol in Cal.]

DD was 4 when this happened. She still remembers it as the day when I encouraged her to watch movie after movie all day while I was glued to the current events channels in another room. We are very low on screen time in our family, and so that's a big exception.

 

She knows the facts and we have talked about them over the years, but the raw emotion of the videos is not something that she has seen much of--not by design but mostly because we tend not to do history that way, and the raw stuff has never really been redacted into a movie except that one about the fire fighters, which I have not noticed being reshown since she has been older (although I'll bet it will be now.) That would be the one to watch, and I hope that I'll hear about it the next time they transmit it.

[katilac]

My kids both did and didn't know. That is, they have been told about both 9/11 and bin laden. They know we have wars and military actions in various places, they know that we have soldiers who take on the job of protecting the country.

 

But frankly, it's not something we discuss often or in tremendous detail. In history, we talk about just and unjust reasons for going to war. We talk about how there is always a complicated mix of motives, and I have used modern conflicts with oil rich countries to illustrate that. Overall, while they are aware in a general way, we only specifically bring it up when there are significant developments.

 

bin laden's death certainly qualifies, so I told them this morning, and talked a bit about the background. they watched a video of one of the planes crashing into the towers for the first time, b/c I think it's very difficult for them to imagine such evil. ftr, 12-yr-old remembered rather vaguely who bin laden was, 10-yr-old did not. I thought they might wonder that we purposely killed him (rather than arresting him like a criminal), but nope, it seemed to make perfect sense to them. Bloodthirsty, lol.

 

I also made sure to warn them about the jokes and comments they are sure to hear, *sigh*. Five minutes on facebook last night, and I knew I had to do that. I just told them that people had been worried for a long time, and they were so relieved about not having to worry anymore that they might say silly or inappropriate things.

[elise1mds]

My son is 8 1/2 and doesn't know specifics. He knows that 9/11 was an 'attack,' but he doesn't know the magnitude or exact details, and I'm not planning to tell him till it comes up. I'm not hiding it from him, but I'm not going to sit him down and have a big, long, serious discussion with an emotionally delayed kid about something that he's not going to be able to process anyway. I'd much rather him be able to understand fully than have to deal with the extra fear it's going to cause. For now, the fact that he knows we have troops keeping us safe from people who want to hurt us is good enough.

 

Natural disasters and civil wars and religious differences are easier to discuss because they don't involve big emotions and issues. So he knows about Haiti and Japan and the tornadoes in the South, and he knows about the recent revolts in Africa and the Middle East, and he understands the fundamental differences between Islam and Judaism and Christianity. These are my starting points; I consider them steps on the road to learning about terrorism.

 

My 'plan,' for lack of a better term, is to wait another year or two and then take him down to the OKC Bombing Memorial. That way we'll be studying that era in history and can spend the day discussing terrorism in general and the attacks on the United States specifically, and I can answer fully any questions that he has. We also have a local Holocaust museum, so we might go see that, too, at some point.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

In another post there were several people who said their children didn't really know about 9/11 and they didn't know what to tell them about bin Laden.

 

I understand really little kids not *knowing* about 9/11, but older children, 8,9, 10 yos, really, they don't know about it? They don't know that we're at war? How, and more importantly, why would you not tell your children about this?

 

I understand not telling them the gory details, but the fact is that hundreds of thousands of Americans are still sacrificing daily because of that day and I can't imagine not having it be something that is at least recognized as important in our nation. Can you imagine a child born in the 40s not being aware that a war was being fought? Our life was changed completely by 9/11 - I can't fathom it not being known at all by our children. Do you also not tell them about the earthquake in Japan, the tsunami in Asia a few years ago, the earthquake in Australia?

 

I just can't get my brain around this.

 

On September 11th, my kids were 3 and not quite 2. They saw some of the footage from NYC, then I sent them to play in their rooms. I promised to call them "when the firefighters came to put it out" as they requested. I didn't tell them what they were really seeing.

 

A few minutes after they left the room, the tv shifted to showing the Pentagon, where their father was working. I never on that day told them how scared I was that he might not come home. For years, they had no idea how close a thing it was. The men and women working in the conference room he'd been in that morning did not go home.

 

I don't think that I really sat them down and explained all that had happened that day until around the 5th anniversary. I had to give them a lesson of the whole day to explain why their father was so upset with them playing around on the flight simulator and "flying" their plane into buildings on the computer. The oldest were around 8 and 9 at the time. My youngest, who is 8 now is probably still pretty sketchy.

 

I do not tell my kids about every disaster that occurs. I told them about the tornadoes last week, but not in detail. My older kids read the paper so they are pretty familiar with world events, but don't watch the news unless there is something that is specially important to us (we watched days of the earthquake in Japan, because we lived there until Dec).

 

I don't have to tell my kids about the sacrifices of having a parent away in the military. They have lived it. We lived on a base in DC that had machine gun nests at the gates. We had an anti missile battery just beyond our backyard for things like the State of the Union and then for months after the invasion of Iraq.

 

But I also didn't need them to worry that every day their dad went off to the Pentagon that he was going to get blown up. That wasn't a fear I wanted them to take in as a daily concern. It was bad enough that they watched guards do vehicle inspections on our van each and every time we went through certain gates.

 

Update: I should add that being Navy, dh's time away has been shipboard deployments. He was away for the majority of the last two years, but not to combat areas. So I wasn't in the position of explaining why we were at war in Iraq or Afganistan as it related to their dad being away. He would have been away that much even if September 11th hadn't occured.

Edited May 2, 2011 by Sebastian (a lady)

[bluemongoose]

No they don't know yet. My oldest is only 6yo, so she was not even born when 911 happened. I wasn't even married yet! DD and I will be discussing it in our curriculum in the 4th year of the history rotation. Since they are young, unless questions are asked before then, I will just introduce it as part of our history lesson.

[nukeswife]

My kids don't really know and my husband is a Naval Officer. When 9/11 happened my oldest was 2 and my dd was about 2 months away from being born. I didn't see a reason to tell my son, he wouldn't have understood anyway. My dh never saw a need to tell them about being at war or anything else because him going away for months at a time wasn't because of 9/11, it happened before 9/11 and would continue on until he retires from the military. Daddy doesn't go away because we're engaged in a war, Daddy goes away because his job is to patrol areas of the ocean, and has been since May 19, 1996 when he was commissioned. His deployments don't occur because of the war, sure where he goes on those deployments is influenced because of that but not always. His last one was all about the pirates off the coast of Somalia.

 

I know whether your spouse is military or not was mentioned as a reason why some kids may know more than others about that day, but just wanted to throw out the view of a military family that has chosen not to tell their kids about it.

 

Eventually we will cover this as part of our history studies, but at this point it's not where we are.

[Desert Rat]

My boys (8 and 11) both know about 9/11. I'm not sure how much the 8yo would be able to talk about it, but he does know the bare bones.

I don't hide much from them, although I must say that news isn't big in our house. We don't ever watch televised news. Dh and I get our news via the internet.

The boys were so mad that they missed the last 10 minuted of America's Funniest Videos for the Special Reports last night!

[Aubrey]

I was going to say my big two knew about 9/11, but then 8yo said she didn't know what it was (we *have* talked about it--a little). She said she's not good at remembering dates. :confused:

 

So I asked her if she knew why we were at war. "Partly because of WWII & the Great Depression." I think by "Great Depression" she means the current state of the economy, & we *have* been talking about the links between decisions made in & around WWII that effect the world today. So her answer's not quite as bizarre as it first seemed to me.

 

But when I specified the planes & the WTC towers, she knew what I meant.

[Haiku]

I understand really little kids not *knowing* about 9/11, but older children, 8,9, 10 yos, really, they don't know about it? They don't know that we're at war? How, and more importantly, why would you not tell your children about this?

 

 

My children know that planes were flown into buildings by people who disagree with America in political matters. They know what we are a military presence in Iraq and Afghanistan.

 

Beyond that, I have not gotten into it with them. In what ways would it enhance their lives to think about thousands of people dying horrible deaths? Why should they worry about war? They are children. Why can't they be innocent? There is nothing they can do about these events. They cannot influence them, and the politics behind them are complicated. They will have their entire adolescent and adult lives to confront the horrible things that humans can do. Why do they have to worry about these things as children? What's wrong with having an innocent childhood?

 

Tara

[Dobela]

My son was 1 yr old when the towers fell. He will be 11 next week. At some point last year he started asking questions about why we were at war, and such. He had been hearing things from other kids and was kind of confused by the snippets he was getting. Around the same time the history channel and other stations were getting ready to broadcast shows about it as we were nearing the anniversary. We made the decision to watch the shows with him and talk about it openly - completely and honestly. I don't know how much information he could give back, but I do know that he thinks of it at times and tries to find the towers in old photos of NY.

 

He does not know yet about Bin Laden but that is only because he was asleep last night when we heard the news and is still asleep now. I am sure I will tell him about it later today.

[LibraryLover]

My youngest knows certain things about Japan, knows disasters happen, she knows there are wars, she knows about 9/11, and she knows that "OBL died." TV is still off, our news comes from print. What is not an issue in my child's life is the sound bite driven media, the mad speculation, the Fox screaming matches, or the fear-mongering that is passed off as journalism.

Edited May 4, 2011 by LibraryLover

[JeneralMom]

My children have heard the term 9/11 but I have never discussed it with them. I will talk to them about it when they are older.

[TXMomof4]

Yes, dh is military - he joined in direct response to 9/11. I do see that my view is a little skewed because of that.

 

I am not advocating filling childrens heads with images of thousands of people being killed. Like I said, not the detail, but the fact of 9/11 - America was attacked and bad people were responsible gives the kids some basis for the things around them. My olders are slowly picking up more - my younger 2 just know there are "bad guys" that Daddy protects them from.

[LibraryLover]

My children have heard the term 9/11 but I have never discussed it with them. I will talk to them about it when they are older.

 

 

I agree with you. There is absolutely no reason for them to know about this at their young ages. I was heart-broken for children I knew who sat with their parents in front of the TV after 9/11, their sense of safety being erroded at such tender ages. How does such fear serve a small child?

[JennyD]

We have lived in NYC for many years and currently live a couple of blocks from the WTC site. My oldest is almost 6, so not yet born on 9/11, but it would be impossible for us not to discuss it -- the subject comes up all the time. I think my oldest first asked about some of the memorials when he was about 3.5 -- I remember it quite well because it was the first time that we had ever really talked about the fact that sometimes people just do really bad things.

 

I have spared him many of the details of that particular day, and we don't have a TV so he hasn't seen the worst images, but in general I try to be as honest as I can about, well, everything. My oldest does periodically worry about another bombing, which is not exactly an unfounded concern -- I generally reassure him as best I can that lots of people are working to make sure that that doesn't happen, and we talk a little bit about our plans (such that they are) as to what to do in the case of an emergency.

 

Mostly, I feel grateful that we live somewhere where bombings are so rare as to become major historical events, as opposed to the stuff of everyday life. My heart goes out to parents who live in actual war zones.

[LibraryLover]

I agree that military children are special. Their parents are on the front lines and they may be exposed to much more chatter about parental concerns. I can see telling children how daddy is helping to protect all of us from 'bad guys.' And I agree that's not the same as watching gory news.

 

My children do understand it's a complicated world. Why are people killing? Why are there wars? How does killing stop killing? However, not for a moment do I believe we don't need a military.

 

 

Yes, dh is military - he joined in direct response to 9/11. I do see that my view is a little skewed because of that.

 

I am not advocating filling childrens heads with images of thousands of people being killed. Like I said, not the detail, but the fact of 9/11 - America was attacked and bad people were responsible gives the kids some basis for the things around them. My olders are slowly picking up more - my younger 2 just know there are "bad guys" that Daddy protects them from.

[Rhonda in TX]

I told my children about it when they were about 9 and 10 years old, and in an age-appropriate way. As they've gotten older, we've shared more with them. They watched the newscast with us last night and were able to handle it without any problem.

 

Every parent has to make this decision for themselves. They know their children and what they can handle.

[sheryl]

Hi Mary,

 

I think the key point, as you stated, is the age of the children. However, I would add that one's emotional maturity level be considered as well. My dd was only 3 when 9/11 occurred.

 

She could be more mature emotionally than what she is, so I didn't say anything to her until she was 11+. Also, I tied it in to what I was using for history to make further explanations. She turns 12 this month and she knows a little about: abortion, wars, 911, tsunami, volcano, earthquakes, general crimes, divorce and such. (I know that's out of the realm of what you were asking, but I was on a roll...:lol:). Now, I do NOT go into the gory details, but on the other hand I did go in to some detail. Does she understand these issues? Probably to a point, but I can't imagine she understands fully as she's just now entering the logic phase.

 

I have not "YET" chosen to tell her about "alternate" social lifestyles, aids, s*x, and such.

[melissel]

Yes, dh is military - he joined in direct response to 9/11. I do see that my view is a little skewed because of that.

 

I am not advocating filling childrens heads with images of thousands of people being killed. Like I said, not the detail, but the fact of 9/11 - America was attacked and bad people were responsible gives the kids some basis for the things around them. My olders are slowly picking up more - my younger 2 just know there are "bad guys" that Daddy protects them from.

 

I wouldn't say your view is skewed. I would say 9/11 has more relevance to your daily life.

 

It doesn't have that much relevance to their daily lives right now. We don't have network TV, their friends aren't talking about it, it hasn't come up in anything we're studying, we haven't visited the memorial lately, etc. I'm not going to sit down with them at breakfast and randomly bring it up. If they were old enough to remember, if they happened to see a news report at my MIL's house, if they overheard people talking, if they were hearing about it at school, then we'd discuss. Until then, they're relatively oblivious to all the bad things that can happen to us on a daily basis, and I'm happy to keep it that way for as long as I can reasonably do so. I do enough worrying for all four of us!

[LibraryLover]

I know children who saw the towers come down. There is no way to protect some. I think about that, and I think about military children who have lost parents who were trying to keep my own children safe and innocent. I am not unconflicted.

 

 

 

We have lived in NYC for many years and currently live a couple of blocks from the WTC site. My oldest is almost 6, so not yet born on 9/11, but it would be impossible for us not to discuss it -- the subject comes up all the time. I think my oldest first asked about some of the memorials when he was about 3.5 -- I remember it quite well because it was the first time that we had ever really talked about the fact that sometimes people just do really bad things.

 

I have spared him many of the details of that particular day, and we don't have a TV so he hasn't seen the worst images, but in general I try to be as honest as I can about, well, everything. My oldest does periodically worry about another bombing, which is not exactly an unfounded concern -- I generally reassure him as best I can that lots of people are working to make sure that that doesn't happen, and we talk a little bit about our plans (such that they are) as to what to do in the case of an emergency.

 

Mostly, I feel grateful that we live somewhere where bombings are so rare as to become major historical events, as opposed to the stuff of everyday life. My heart goes out to parents who live in actual war zones.

Edited May 2, 2011 by LibraryLover

[Slartibartfast]

My eldest is ten and she knows about 9/11.

 

 

If we lived in NYC I don't know that she would know as much though...my dd gets a bit anxious.

[Mom23Boys]

In another post there were several people who said their children didn't really know about 9/11 and they didn't know what to tell them about bin Laden.

 

I understand really little kids not *knowing* about 9/11, but older children, 8,9, 10 yos, really, they don't know about it? They don't know that we're at war? How, and more importantly, why would you not tell your children about this?

 

I understand not telling them the gory details, but the fact is that hundreds of thousands of Americans are still sacrificing daily because of that day and I can't imagine not having it be something that is at least recognized as important in our nation. Can you imagine a child born in the 40s not being aware that a war was being fought? Our life was changed completely by 9/11 - I can't fathom it not being known at all by our children. Do you also not tell them about the earthquake in Japan, the tsunami in Asia a few years ago, the earthquake in Australia?

 

I just can't get my brain around this.

My 2 oldest, age 8 and 7 know a little about 9/11, but not much. I started talking with them both about it in the last 2 years, on the anniversary of the events. It has also been mentioned when they have seen other news that relates to terrorism.

I haven't told them about Bin Laden yet today, mostly because I want to get school done before going down the rabbit trail of who, what, when, where, why and how. I have no problem with them knowing, but it hasn't been a part of our daily lives, so it isn't that relevant to them (in a personal way) yet.

 

We do however talk about military a lot - we have family members who serve. They know there is a price being paid for our freedom and we appreciate that. They know more in general terms and less in specific details.

 

They will be taught all about it when I feel like they are ready, so probably small amounts along the way. Similar to what we have already been doing, but more details.

 

My 4 year old is clueless and I am fine with that right now. He is mostly around when we talk about things, but it goes over his head in a lot of ways.

[happypamama]

I was 16w pregnant with my oldest on 9/11, and afaik, neither she nor my boys know anything about it. They know wars happen and are still happening, and they know that sometimes it is necessary for good people to intervene to stop very bad people. We don't get a newspaper/magazines, and they have very limited internet access, no Facebook or such; we don't watch TV either, so it is pretty easy to shelter them from the harshest realities. I can discuss many unpleasant facets of history with them, but I have been careful about certain things, because I don't think they need to know about everything yet. I have thus far not overly emphasized the atrocities of the Holocaust either. We will be studying US history next year, and I think I probably will have to discuss 9/11 with them, though I am dreading it. Something so horrible happening in my lifetime is much harder to discuss than something that happened before I was born.

[Catherine]

We've talked about it and he's asked a few questions, but this morning I got out my "9\11 Report: The Graphic Adaption" and videos of TV news coverage of it. I read them the beginning sections about the individuals planes, and then we watched the TV news coverage for 2 hours. He'd not seen any images of the towers begin hit or falling, of terrified people running, of dust-covered firefighters. He was 3 months old when it happened.

 

I have avoided any in-depth discussion before now, because my then-7 yo was rather traumatized by it, and I decided to put off an in depth talk (other than honestly and directly answering all of his questions) until we did moderns around the time he was 10. bin Laden's death was the perfect opportunity, even though we are still on chapter 37 of SOTW 4 : )

[sleepymommy]

Mine are too young. They have heard us talk about 9/11 and they know the phrase. My elder boy watched the news with us during the Mumbai attacks but he obviously didn't really know what was going on.

 

I will explain both to them when they are older.

[TheReader]

In another post there were several people who said their children didn't really know about 9/11 and they didn't know what to tell them about bin Laden.

 

I understand really little kids not *knowing* about 9/11, but older children, 8,9, 10 yos, really, they don't know about it? They don't know that we're at war? How, and more importantly, why would you not tell your children about this?

 

I understand not telling them the gory details, but the fact is that hundreds of thousands of Americans are still sacrificing daily because of that day and I can't imagine not having it be something that is at least recognized as important in our nation. Can you imagine a child born in the 40s not being aware that a war was being fought? Our life was changed completely by 9/11 - I can't fathom it not being known at all by our children. Do you also not tell them about the earthquake in Japan, the tsunami in Asia a few years ago, the earthquake in Australia?

 

I just can't get my brain around this.

 

My kids are mostly unaware of all of the above.

 

1 - they were so very very very tiny when said events happened (they are now 13, 10 and 6). While my oldest, then 3, watched as the events of 9/11 unfolded, of course he was not at that point aware, really.

 

2 - we moved to Brazil in 2007, do not watch the news on TV, and the boys just simply don't have real exposure to the going-ons of the world.

 

3 - all 3 of my boys, though my oldest less so, are prone to anxiety. Big time. My 10 yr old was shown a movie (2012) against my better judgement but which has, over a year later, left him afraid of any sort of events that might be considered disasters. So, him in particular, yes, I shield from the news.

 

4 - my youngest (age 6) is too young to understand anyway, so I don't discuss with him.

 

5 - which leads me to, since I try and avoid anxiety-inducing news in front of my 10 yr old, and my youngest is too young to grasp, I simply have limited opportunity to discuss world events with my oldest. Also, since our news comes via the internet, it's next to impossible to gather info about said events w/o also being subject to quite graphic photos and sometimes video -- while he's old enough to understand all of these events, he's not ready for many of the associated images. So, I can't sit down with him and read articles together on-line as I might sit down with an actual newspaper in the US.

 

It's not, for me, a matter of consciously shielding him/them, it's just that opportunity and resources to discuss it aren't so much there as they would be in the US. And because of the younger kids in the home, dinner table conversation is out. Makes it hard, ya know?

[cassiemc]

My husband is a pilot, so we are VERY careful about 9-11. Our oldest was only 1 when it happened. I think last year around 9-11 our two oldest saw something on the news about it. We might have said something to the effect of "bad men flew airplanes into those buildings and a lot of people died, but that is NOT going to happen to daddy's plane." Of course, we don't know that, but these are our children and we will protect them from worrying about daddy dying.

 

No, We will not be telling them about Bin Laden. It has no effect on their lives and it wouldn't mean anything to them anyway. If they see it or read about it, we'll discuss it then, if they want.

[Mejane]

My kids know all about it, both the facts and in part the emotional devastation it caused. Unfortunately, I was unable to pull myself away from the television when it happened, or to come out of the funk that followed for weeks; I functioned, but barely. They were young so they don't remember much, but we still look at the Manhattan skyline when we cross into NY from CT and think of what used to be there. Remembering is necessary.

[TheAutumnOak]

No, We will not be telling them about Bin Laden. It has no effect on their lives and it wouldn't mean anything to them anyway. If they see it or read about it, we'll discuss it then, if they want.

 

:iagree:

 

My oldest just turned 1 the week before 9-11...He knows about the towers falling and the planes, but has no idea who Bin Laden is and we will dicsuss it when we get to that point in history...I don't see a reason to fill him in on it now...