There's extended breastfeeding...what about extended bottle feeding?

[Heather in Neverland]

So here is what I am wondering... many women believe in the health and emotional benefits of extended breast feeding for the child. I agree.

 

BUT princess Natalie is adopted so obviously we have been bottle feeding her since birth with the best formula money can buy here. Yes I know there are drastic measures you can take to be able to breastfeed an adopted baby but those were not an option for me since I only had 12 hours notice before she was in my arms. So let's just let that one go, ok?

 

Anyways... assuming this baby formula is better for her than regular cow's milk (right?) and assuming that the bonding during feeding is another reason for extended breast feeding...would that not also apply to bottle feeding?

 

Since day one I have held her very close during feedings almost as if she were breastfeeding, I wear her, we co-sleep, etc. But now she is 14 months old and people are starting to ask when we will wean her off the bottle and off formula. She should be drinking regular milk in a cup I am told. She is eating solids of course. No problems there.

 

But I guess I am just curious...if you cannot do extended breastfeeding, can you do extended bottle/formula feeding as the next best thing?

[Joanne]

But I guess I am just curious...if you cannot do extended breastfeeding, can you do extended bottle/formula feeding as the next best thing?

 

No. The mechanism for drinking from a bottle (and what is in a bottle) is different than that of breastfeeding.

 

I'd keep the closeness and ditch the bottles. Change the name to "cuddles" and swoop in, hold her and rock her frequently.

 

PS: I hate the term extended breastfeeding. I'm not saying that to be critical of you, since that is how this culture refers to it. I prefer "honoring an natural breastfeeding relationship."

[Lucy in Australia]

My DD is now 16 months old, eating everything we give her and drinking regular milk (well, actually, raw milk, but that's another thread :D). She has no problem drinking out of a sippy cup. However, I did notice that she really enjoys her bottle (which has milk, not formula) first thing in the morning, and in the evening after her bath. She doesn't take it to bed. It seems to relax her, and I've heard many mothers say that bottles soothe their toddlers.

 

Also, we are about to go on an overseas holiday and it ocurred to me that sucking on a bottle on ascent and descent is a good way to relieve ear pressure.

 

So I would say, get her used to the cups during the day, but maybe just keep one or two bottles a day if she enjoys them and when you feel ready, get rid of them.

[ElaineJ]

I have an adopted son who joined our family at the age of 13 months. We were advised to continue bottle feeding him for awhile, partially due to the fact that there was an unhealthy reliance on formula at the orphanage where he was living and he needed to be transitioned to big boy food at a gentle pace. Also, however, we were told that it would be good for bonding if we held him in our arms like an infant while we gave him a bottle several times a day. I had breastfed my older two and thus never used bottles before, so at first it felt doubly weird- bottles and older child. As it turned out, though, I really do think the fact we chose to do this had a huge positive impact on him being able to attach to us. When feeding him, we were sure to make eye contact and tell him how special he was to us. When he began to move into the stage of openly grieving and struggling, he would rage when we would look in his eyes and especially when we would use his English name, screaming and thrashing until he was purple in the face. He would throw the bottle away and then beg for us to get it back. It was tremendously exhausting and took a lot of emotional energy. Eventually, though, we reached a point where he would ask to lay gently in my arms and look up at me to connect and relax. We did this much longer than "normal" and I'm sure some people would have thought us strange, but I think it was so worth it. Anyway, I know your little one is much younger in coming to you so this may or may not apply, but just wanted to offer our personal experience.

ElaineJ

[KatieH]

No. The mechanism for drinking from a bottle (and what is in a bottle) is different than that of breastfeeding.

 

I'd keep the closeness and ditch the bottles. Change the name to "cuddles" and swoop in, hold her and rock her frequently.

 

PS: I hate the term extended breastfeeding. I'm not saying that to be critical of you, since that is how this culture refers to it. I prefer "honoring an natural breastfeeding relationship."

 

I agree with all of this. My first was formula fed, and I weaned her off the bottle (and formula) right after her first birthday. Whole cow's milk and real food is just fine.

[Sherry in OH]

If she is eating solid foods and growing well there is no added benefit to keeping her on formula past one year.

 

For weaning purposes, it is better not to put milk in the baby's bottle. If you plan to use sippy cups, have her learn to drink milk from that. My sons skipped the sippy and went straight to straw cups. You can also teach her to sip from a small tumbler or mug.

 

If she wants the bottle, put water in it.

 

I prefer not to use meal/snack time as a cuddling time. I taught my children to sit at the table while eating and drinking. We cuddle after their meals. Story time is a great time for cuddling.

[Heather in Neverland]

A few more details to add in...

 

She takes a bottle when she wakes up and before she goes to bed and one more before her nap during the day but she does not take them to bed with her or fall asleep with them in her mouth (I am very leery of tooth decay) or carry them around during the day.

 

Also, she does drink out of a sippy cup on her own during the day but she drinks purified water.

 

It's interesting what was mentioned about formula being a scam and toddlers getting their nutrition from food and cow's milk...my brother is a licensed nutritionist and he says cow's milk is one of the worst things a human can put in their body (and there is no organic milk here...in fact most Malaysians drink powdered milk...I can get non-powdered milk but it is brutally expensive).

 

So I am just really confused. I know that bottle feeding is not the same as breast feeding but if one is not willing to tear a baby away from the breast at a year old, then why insist the baby cannot use a bottle at a year old and must only drink out of a cup?

 

I am sure part of me is not ready for her to give it up (nor does she seem inclined to) and I feel the same pressure from some people to yank the bottle out of her mouth as other moms feel to stop breast feeding when neither the baby or the mom want to stop.

 

Is it a bottle issue? Should I put the toddler formula in a sippy cup instead?

 

OR

 

Is it a formula issue? Should I give her cow's milk (regular store-bought, not organic) even though so many things I read say it is bad for us? If it is a formula issue, should I put cow's milk in her bottle instead?

[Sherry in OH]

It is a bottle and tooth decay issue. Formula and milk both contain a lot of sugar. (I know breast milk also has sugar, but it is not an even comparison.) If you are giving her formula at bedtime, you should give her water after the formula or wipe/brush her teeth and gums.

 

If you want to keep her on the formula, keep her on the formula. It is not necessary, but it won't hurt her.

 

The reason for not putting cow's milk in the bottle is milk is a new food for her. She associates formula with the bottle. She has no such association for milk. Rather than wean twice - once from formula to milk, then from bottle to cup, do both at once.

[LisaKinVA]

My 5th was on formula for an extended period of time (until she was about 18 mos). Abby has always been small, the doctors were worried she wasn't getting "enough." They suggested Carnation Instant Breakfast :001_huh: I substituted toddler formula.

 

She's just inherited her maternal grandma's, and 2 great-grandma "short" genes. Tho, she won't be the tiniest of the grandbabies... her oldest cousin has that honor...hands-down!

[chiguirre]

We gave the boys extended formula until they were 2. They drank it in a sippy cup and I mixed it with a Carnation instant breakfast type mix for the skinny one. I doubt there's any major advantage to formula versus cow's milk and a multivitamin, but the extended formula tasted better than powdered milk. I figured that if I wouldn't drink powdered milk, it wasn't fair to make the boys drink it.

[Jen in PA]

My DD weaned herself from nursing at nine months. She had taken a bottle or two of formula every day while I was at work, so I asked the doctor about just upping her formula and he told me to go ahead and just switch her straight to whole milk. This surprised me, but he said introducing cow's milk before a year is very common in other countries, even amongst babies that continue to breastfeed. Two things, though: she was a very big baby and she was already a voracious eater, and he knew she was getting enough fat and iron through her diet. During daytime hours she only drank from sippy cups, but I did still give her a bottle of water to take to bed. We coslept, and she would snuggle right into my arms, and I would hear her take drinks of water throughout the night. The water led to some very wet diapers in the mornings, but didn't do any harm to her teeth.

[Mrs Mungo]

If you still feel the need to give her formula, I would give it to her in a cup. Giving a bottle for an extended period of time can lead to jaw and tooth development problems that don't exist with breastfeeding.

 

Nothing wrong with cuddles and reading and rocking though!

[Ottakee]

Well, my adopted daughter was on formula until age 4 1/2. She didn't drink it out of a bottle that entire time obviously but for her, there were good nutritional benefits to her drinking the formula.

 

At 14 months old I don't have a problem with a bottle that mom holds while she rocks and cuddles the child. If as she gets older you want to wean this just start giving her less and less in the bottle at a time.

 

She can also drink the formula from a cup for as long as she needs it.

[Dobela]

Another adoptive mom here so I understand your first post...

I switched my kids to a straw sippy cup when they were ready, which was about 15 months. I was told to do it to prevent tooth decay and causing the mouth to not form correctly (kind of like thumb sucking). By that time my son was off formula and drinking soy milk because of a milk allergy. He was big and healthy and all that - and soy milk was more available than other milks (for those that want to argue that point).

 

My dd was very premature and had eating issues. She went thru several different formula types and brands. By 15 months she was beginning pediasure for the vitamins and calories. While the formula had the calorie count, the vitamin make-up was different and that is what concerned her pediatricians most - making sure she had the right vitamin concentrations at the right age for proper brain development. She was eventually moved to soy and almond milks due to intolerances as well.

 

As far as the nighttime snuggle, my dd is soon 4 and every night we get out the straw cup, fill it with her milk, and snuggle until she falls asleep. The rest of the day she drinks juice or water, usually in a regular cup.

 

If you are concerned about health, there are vitamins available for children her age that are good but I don't know what is available in your area.

[Parrothead]

Toddlers in general don't need the formula any more than they "need" breast milk once they are eating a wide variety of solid food and drinking the local water.

 

Also toddlers don't "need" a bottle any more once they are using a cup well. In all reality toddlers don't "need" a breast any more either. Personally I have issues with those that say extended breastfeeding is better parenting. Think about it. That is what "they" are saying when "they" talk about how great and wonderful it is.

 

So don't get sucked into one of the battles of the mommy wars. Extended breastfeeding is not best. Being a loving caring parent is what is best. Certainly not every family can or will extend breastfeeding past the 12 month mark. It just isn't doable for every family. Extending breastfeeding is not a sign of being a more loving and more wonderful mother any more than weaning at 12 months is a sign of being a neglectful and horrible parent.

 

You know your dd best. If the both of you will be devastated by weaning her then let it go a bit longer. It isn't anyone else's business. The good old, "Thank you I'll consider it. Please pass the bean dip," applies.

Edited February 25, 2011 by Parrothead

[Impish]

You're her Mom. Follow your 'gut' instincts, and do whats best for your dd.

 

When the day comes that you decide to ditch the bottle, I'd hold her and rock her just as you do with a bottle right now.

[blondeviolin]

I have several dental friends, and friends in dental school here. Apparently they teach that no-spill sippy cups are just as bad for jaw issues and tooth decay as a bottle. The no-spill cups use a valve that require not a drinking mechanism, but a sucking mechanism that is very similar to a bottle. So in our society's haste to ditch the bottle stigma, we've created basically a socially-acceptable bottle. I see all kinds of kids 1-2 carry around sippy cups, but if they had been bottles I'm sure moms would be sneering down their noses.

 

My youngest is not adopted, but at 18 mos she still takes a bottle. It is part of her nighttime routine to snuggle on my lap on the couch with a bottle (4oz of milk) and a story before teeth-brushing and bed. And to be honest, I have no plans of removing that soon. My oldest did the same thing until just about 2 and her teeth are just fine, no cavities. My son didn't care about it, didn't need to suck, etc, so he ditched it at 16 mos.

 

I say if it makes you both still warm and fuzzy, keep it up.

[Joanne]

If you still feel the need to give her formula, I would give it to her in a cup. Giving a bottle for an extended period of time can lead to jaw and tooth development problems that don't exist with breastfeeding.

 

Nothing wrong with cuddles and reading and rocking though!

 

Right. That is why I mentioned the "mechanism" of bottle feeding.

 

The other issue (not specific to the OP, because she's considering extending bottle feeding in order to extend attachment through feeding) is that kids can't walk around with a breast. :D If I were to allow a child to use a bottle longer, I would not allow walking around with one.

[zimom]

Yet another adoptive mom here. My girls were brought home at almost 11 months and 18 months. My first daughter had signficant malnutrition and my pediatrician agreed with prolonged formula for her, and certainly supported extended bottlefeeding for bonding as ElaineJ discussed. My second daughter was on target weight wise, developmental wise, so we just quickly switched her to lactose free milk that she needed but still used prolonged bottle feeding. She was still using a bottle in her orphanage so I did not have to back track her. I feel the closeness, eye contact, etc really helped with bonding. And of course, I held the bottles, not them, and certainly not well meaning friends and family, although it did take a little time to convince my second daughter that I would do it since she had always done it. For my first daughter, it had been propped, she was so delayed she did not know how.

[PrincessAriel]

My youngest, also adopted, had a bottle until almost age 2. She was small for her age, had some eczema, and we were using a lactose free formula that worked well for her. I really agree it is not anyone's business except your own on what you decide to do. There is a lot of anti-bottle sentiment out there and a lot of stories concerning tooth decay, etc. My dd is now almost 10 and her teeth are just fine. Do what you feel comfortable with and enjoy your baby.

[Mrs Mungo]

Right. That is why I mentioned the "mechanism" of bottle feeding.

 

I was agreeing with you and adding a bit of info. :D

 

The other issue (not specific to the OP, because she's considering extending bottle feeding in order to extend attachment through feeding) is that kids can't walk around with a breast. :D If I were to allow a child to use a bottle longer, I would not allow walking around with one.

 

Good point.

[Soror]

I wouldn't due to issues others mentioned- increased tooth decay, jaw formation, etc.

 

FWIW Breastmilk is recommended for a MINIMUM of 2 yrs. More than 1 yr is not extended. It is not some new fangled thing it is the way it was done, in biblical times and still in traditional cultures that is just the case. Breastmilk is not the same as other foods. You cannot even replace the immune building properties. Of course individual families have their own circumstances and such, but no it is not equal to milk or any other food.

[LittleIzumi]

They do make toddler formulas, esp for kids who don't eat well yet. Dd was on one for a long time due to her food allergies. But it's a good point about breasts not being detachable, lol. Dd3 nursed until 2.5 years but it was only 2-4 times a day for 5 minutes tops each at that point.

[rootsnwings]

Toddlers in general don't need the formula any more than they "need" breast milk once they are eating a wide variety of solid food and drinking the local water.

 

Also toddlers don't "need" a bottle any more once they are using a cup well. In all reality toddlers don't "need" a breast any more either. Personally I have issues with those that say extended breastfeeding is better parenting. Think about it. That is what "they" are saying when "they" talk about how great and wonderful it is.

 

So don't get sucked into one of the battles of the mommy wars. Extended breastfeeding is not best. Being a loving caring parent is what is best. Certainly not every family can or will extend breastfeeding past the 12 month mark. It just isn't doable for every family. Extending breastfeeding is not a sign of being a more loving and more wonderful mother any more than weaning at 12 months is a sign of being a neglectful and horrible parent.

 

You know your dd best. If the both of you will be devastated by weaning her then let it go a bit longer. It isn't anyone else's business. The good old, "Thank you I'll consider it. Please pass the bean dip," applies.

 

Sorry, but I have to call BS on this one!

 

Breastfeeding extendly is *absolutely* the best thing you can do for your child.

 

In the case of the OP, it's completely impossible. OP, I understand your concern about regular cows milk--I'm weary of giving it to my kids too. We do nurse but around 5-6 months I introduce water in a sippy cup and that is all my kids get (besides nursies!) until they wean (15mos, 30mos & 22mos & counting, respectively) the only thing I would be weary of is connecting bottles to bed and naptime. It sounds like bottle rot freaks you out though so that's probably not a concern! I would let her nurse from a bottle (that is essentially what she's doing) for as long as she wants. Maybe check with her Ped to make sure she's gettingthe nutrition she needs but otherwise I wouldn't stress making her stop anytime soon.

Edited February 25, 2011 by rootsnwings

[Parrothead]

You know what? Never mind. I'm not getting sucked into this.

 

Heather, do what is best for your baby. You know what that is because you know her best.

Edited February 25, 2011 by Parrothead

[Okra]

There's probably many that disagree with me, but I would think that it would be perfectly natural to let a child have a bottle (if they wanted it) until 18 mo - 2 year old.

 

In my opinion, I wouldn't let her have a bottle in public, but gosh LOTS of kids have had bottles when they are toddlers! I was a bottle-fed baby. My mother said I had a bottle until I was 2 1/2 and personally, I think I turned out fine.

 

To me, bottles until 2 is really not that big a deal at all!

[ChandlerMom]

Sorry, but I have to call BS on this one!

 

Breastfeeding extendely is *absolutely* the best thing you can do for your child.

 

In the case of the OP, it's completely impossible. OP, I understand your concern about regular cows milk--I'm weary of giving it to my kids too. We do nurse but around 5-6 months I introduce water in a sippy cup and that is all my kids get (besides nursies!) until they wean (15mos, 30mos & 22mos & counting, respectively) the only thing I would be weary of is connecting bottles to bed and naptime. It sounds like bottle rot freaks you out though so that's probably not a concern! I would let her nurse from a bottle (that is essentially what she's doing) for as long as she wants. Maybe check with her Ped to make sure she's gettingthe nutrition she needs but otherwise I wouldn't stress making her stop anytime soon.

 

:iagree: EBF is best, but that doesn't mean moms who choose or are unable to BF should feel bad.

 

To OP's question: I BF each of my kids ~2yrs (based on when they wanted to wean) and they never really took the bottle...UNTIL we moved to a very hot and dry climate. Couldn't get my 2.5yo to drink enough water/milk to be properly hydrated so we decided a bottle of milk was better than going to juice or sugary drinks. I always held them (no bottle wanderers or bottles in bed) and they'll down 6oz of 50/50 water/milk in about 90 seconds, so not worried about teeth/mouth. :D Just don't let a kid go to sleep with any food in their mouth (breastmilk exempt -- it has antibacterial properties and does NOT cause tooth decay, but that's another topic).

 

Don't know why folks get so hung up on bottles. Had a stranger one rant about it to me (about a 3rd woman who was bottle feeding a 1yo) while she was stuffing deep-fried chicken nuggets, Cheetos, and soda in her baby -- guess she drew the line at bottles of milk. :D

 

Do whatever you feel is best for your family and ignore the rest. :001_smile:

Edited February 25, 2011 by ChandlerMom

[AuntieM]

Sorry I didn't read all the replies, but I wonder if this might be a good question for a dentist/orthodontist? I imagine the child's mouth conforms differently to an artificial nipple - isn't this the whole debate over long term pacifier use? Just a thought.

 

I've no doubt you're going to keep her close and continue that bonding, no matter how food is delivered. She's just too irresistable (from her photos) not to get constant cuddling!

[Lilymax]

I am still breastfeeding my 17-month-old and plan to continue at least til he's 2, if not longer.

 

I weaned my older two around year old, but let them have a bottle til they were two. Neither used a pacifier. I don't believe that an older baby loses his desire to suck when he turns 1, or maybe not even 2. And though sippy cups involve sucking, I don't think a hard plastic spout feels as nice as sucking on a bottle or breast.

 

But that's just me. As far as teeth go, one of my sons has perfect teeth (took after me) and the other has awfully crooked teeth and an overbite (took after his father). Since both had the bottle til age 2, and the one with the perfect teeth also sucked his thumb til he was 6, I think genetics has a whole lot more to do with how their teeth turn out than what they suck on as a baby.

 

Oh, and because we've always had to supplement my baby with formula, he still gets bottles, too...with formula, not cow's milk.

 

In a nutshell, do what you know is best for your baby! :)

[LibraryLover]

I think 14 months is too young for most babies to give up the comfort of sucking. I wouldn't take it away. Sucking is not just a way to receive nutrition. I probably would get a babe off a soy formula as soon as I could, however.

[Danestress]

then most people will have no idea that you are doing it. Even if you have company, that night time breast ritual, and I would assume bottle ritual, tends to be in the baby's nursery with the lights low and setting a "tone" for settling down and going to bed.

 

So I guess I would do what you want to do Heather, and not worry about people asking when you are going to wean. They needn't even know if she is or isn't, and it's none of their business. If she enjoys it and you enjoy it, then I can't imagine that the formula is hurting her.

[wapiti]

14 months? I wouldn't worry about it. I probably weaned my last one off bottles when she was around 15 months. Ped wasn't concerned; she said we had "bigger fish to fry," so to speak.

 

I'd begin offering cups, regular/straw/sippy, with water and milk, and reduce the number of bottles to 4, then to 3, then to 2, etc. And I'd still keep cuddle time, of course :)

 

Then one day I couldn't "find" the bottles. It was fine.

 

We do have a pacifier issue :glare:.

 

I have been told by more than one ped that the "toddler" formulas are a waste of money. My dd was on Nutramigen, and I continued to pay the big bucks for that until probably around 14 months or so. I can't remember if I put milk in her bottle - it sure tasted alot better than that cat-food-scented stuff :tongue_smilie:

[LidiyaDawn]

Sorry, but I have to call BS on this one!

 

 

 

Why would you "call BS" on someone else's opinion?

 

It just strikes me as rather ... mean? Especially considering what those initials stand for there.

 

You can disagree without calling her opinion 'BS'.

 

 

Heather - you're the mom. Do what you feel is best for your baby girl. :)

[Mom-ninja.]

I think 14 months is too young for most babies to give up the comfort of sucking. I wouldn't take it away. Sucking is not just a way to receive nutrition.

 

 

I agree. Babies (to me 2 and under are babies) have a need to suck. It's not only about nutrition. Now, that said, a bottle is not the same as a breast so as others have posted there may be issues with jaw development. However, I want to see more studies on jaw development and bottles.

 

Your dd is only 14 months old. Make the transition to cups smooth and easy. She's still a baby.

[jenn1129]

I say go with what your heart is telling you to do. You've done a great job so far, and whatever you choose will be right for you and your baby...that is all that matters. :001_smile:

[MelanieM]

I think it's important to recognize that formula is a meal replacement and is meant to act like a food, while cow's milk is a beverage. So if a child is getting a nutrient rich diet then sure, cut back on/eliminate the formula. And I would think that moving to whole foods would generally be a better option than formula, as soon as the baby is ready for such changes. But to suggest switching from formula to cow's milk makes about as much sense to me as switching to orange juice.

 

I also think that the question of nutrition could be separate from the question of when to give up a bottle. Does she still need the nutritional support of formula? Does she still need the emotional support of the bottle? Two different questions. And I think you should follow your gut Mama, as you know your baby best.

[ktgrok]

I totally agree that humans have a biological need to suckle beyond a year, and agree that if "extended" breastfeeding is normal, than so is "extended" bottle feeding. That said, I think it should only be in the mama's arms, just like nursing, as the wish to get up and move around is part of what leads to weaning eventually and letting them take it with them destroys that. So you sound like you are doing it just right! (of course, I nursed until my son was 3.5, so I may be biased.) Jut use the sippy at other times.

 

As for formula or cows milk, well, formula IS cow's milk, just with extra stuff. And honestly, some of that extra stuff is kind of gross, so I'd go to plain cow's milk. I think it would be more natural than the stuff that has corn syrup, trans fats, etc in it.

 

Katie

 

 

A few more details to add in...

 

She takes a bottle when she wakes up and before she goes to bed and one more before her nap during the day but she does not take them to bed with her or fall asleep with them in her mouth (I am very leery of tooth decay) or carry them around during the day.

 

Also, she does drink out of a sippy cup on her own during the day but she drinks purified water.

 

It's interesting what was mentioned about formula being a scam and toddlers getting their nutrition from food and cow's milk...my brother is a licensed nutritionist and he says cow's milk is one of the worst things a human can put in their body (and there is no organic milk here...in fact most Malaysians drink powdered milk...I can get non-powdered milk but it is brutally expensive).

 

So I am just really confused. I know that bottle feeding is not the same as breast feeding but if one is not willing to tear a baby away from the breast at a year old, then why insist the baby cannot use a bottle at a year old and must only drink out of a cup?

 

I am sure part of me is not ready for her to give it up (nor does she seem inclined to) and I feel the same pressure from some people to yank the bottle out of her mouth as other moms feel to stop breast feeding when neither the baby or the mom want to stop.

 

Is it a bottle issue? Should I put the toddler formula in a sippy cup instead?

 

OR

 

Is it a formula issue? Should I give her cow's milk (regular store-bought, not organic) even though so many things I read say it is bad for us? If it is a formula issue, should I put cow's milk in her bottle instead?

[Emmy]

I think you are looking at 2 separate issues. Whether to continue formula and whether to continue the bottle. For formula - I can't speak to that one. Typically I would say no worries, switch to milk. But I don't live in Malaysia and I'm not sure what's available to you. Were it me, I'd probably have her switch to soymilk. For the bottle - I agree with what a poster above said. Sippy cups are the bottles of our kids generation. People are so judgmental about babies taking bottles over a year old but that judgement doesn't exist with sippy cups. With what you are doing (not letting baby take a bottle to fall asleep) I would not hesitate to let her continue with bottles for a while. I'd maybe revisit that issue about 18 months old.

[littleWMN]

I can't give you advice, but can tell you what I did.

 

I have 4 kids, 2 of them were adopted.

 

My 2nd adopted daughter was on formula until 15 or 16 months. She had problems eating food (she gagged and choked on everything) and I was worried about her nutrition so we just kept the bottle and formula. Sippy cups were not an option b/c she could not use them.

 

She has delays and now as she's 5 and still has delays and other issues, I do NOT regret that and honestly, would probably do it longer if I could go back and redo it. Hindsight's 20/20.

[ktgrok]

Toddlers in general don't need the formula any more than they "need" breast milk once they are eating a wide variety of solid food and drinking the local water.

 

Also toddlers don't "need" a bottle any more once they are using a cup well. In all reality toddlers don't "need" a breast any more either. Personally I have issues with those that say extended breastfeeding is better parenting. Think about it. That is what "they" are saying when "they" talk about how great and wonderful it is.

 

So don't get sucked into one of the battles of the mommy wars. Extended breastfeeding is not best. Being a loving caring parent is what is best. Certainly not every family can or will extend breastfeeding past the 12 month mark. It just isn't doable for every family. Extending breastfeeding is not a sign of being a more loving and more wonderful mother any more than weaning at 12 months is a sign of being a neglectful and horrible parent.

 

You know your dd best. If the both of you will be devastated by weaning her then let it go a bit longer. It isn't anyone else's business. The good old, "Thank you I'll consider it. Please pass the bean dip," applies.

 

Certainly every parent can't and every parent won't. But to say that just because someone says it is "great" and "wonderful" they are part of the "mommy wars" is a bit over the top. I can say something is great and wonderful without meaning that if you don't do it you suck. I say homeschooling is great and wonderful too. It doesn't mean that others are bad parents if they don't. I'm tired of people acting like me saying I think something is great is me putting them down. Obviously they think what they are doing is the best thing, or they wouldn't be doing it. We all do what we think is best, and I am so tired of having to tip toe around that to be politically correct.

 

Sorry to jump on you, that was more a vent in general than at you directly.

Katie

[Mrs Mungo]

I think you are looking at 2 separate issues. Whether to continue formula and whether to continue the bottle. For formula - I can't speak to that one. Typically I would say no worries, switch to milk. But I don't live in Malaysia and I'm not sure what's available to you. Were it me, I'd probably have her switch to soymilk. For the bottle - I agree with what a poster above said. Sippy cups are the bottles of our kids generation. People are so judgmental about babies taking bottles over a year old but that judgement doesn't exist with sippy cups. With what you are doing (not letting baby take a bottle to fall asleep) I would not hesitate to let her continue with bottles for a while. I'd maybe revisit that issue about 18 months old.

 

Just for the record, I haven't seen much judgment here of moms who give a bottle beyond a year. However, there are risks to doing so, and people should be aware of them. Bottlefeeding beyond the norm is associated with tongue thrust which leads to other dental problems, cavities, ear infections, iron deficiency anemia, upper and lower respiratory infections and so forth. That's why the AAP recommends weaning to a cup by 18 months at the latest. You *can* absolutely *lower* the risks, as people have suggested. Bottlefeeding only in arms. Brushing teeth after a nighttime feeding. If you want research, look on the AAP website.

 

And no, I don't follow the AAP's advice on everything, but I do so with the knowledge I am taking certain risks.

[Rosie_0801]

So Heather, if you don't want to put her on cow's milk, what will you do for calcium once you decide to wean her off the formula?

 

Rosie

[Slartibartfast]

Toddlers in general don't need the formula any more than they "need" breast milk once they are eating a wide variety of solid food and drinking the local water.

 

Also toddlers don't "need" a bottle any more once they are using a cup well. In all reality toddlers don't "need" a breast any more either. Personally I have issues with those that say extended breastfeeding is better parenting. Think about it. That is what "they" are saying when "they" talk about how great and wonderful it is.

 

So don't get sucked into one of the battles of the mommy wars. Extended breastfeeding is not best. Being a loving caring parent is what is best. Certainly not every family can or will extend breastfeeding past the 12 month mark. It just isn't doable for every family. Extending breastfeeding is not a sign of being a more loving and more wonderful mother any more than weaning at 12 months is a sign of being a neglectful and horrible parent.

 

 

I am sorry if you have had bad experiences with this issue.

 

Extended breastfeeding is better for a child. Research has shown that the benefits are cumulative, the longer a child nurses the better it is for them. My child is at risk for allergies, asthma and autoimmune diseases, I do think someone weaning early or just not breastfeeding in *my* exact position would be selfish. But not everyone is in my position. Everyone has their own viewpoint and of course that should be respected but I don't think we should ignore facts because someone might take offense.

 

On the other hand I don't think someone should push BF to the point of risking someone's health or wellbeing. Of course there are situations where nursing wouldn't be the best choice for a family.

 

There does need to be a middle ground but it does help if we can come at the issue from a place of facts rather than dragging in so many emotions into it.

 

 

I do think you have a sound argument for bottlefeeding a little longer rather than using regular milk...if good milk isn't really available then I see where one might make that choice.

Edited February 25, 2011 by Sis

[mommymilkies]

No. The mechanism for drinking from a bottle (and what is in a bottle) is different than that of breastfeeding.

 

I'd keep the closeness and ditch the bottles. Change the name to "cuddles" and swoop in, hold her and rock her frequently.

 

PS: I hate the term extended breastfeeding. I'm not saying that to be critical of you, since that is how this culture refers to it. I prefer "honoring an natural breastfeeding relationship."

 

:iagree:

 

And "extended" breastfeeding IS best. All research points to it. Many physicians recommend going with a "toddler" formula past 1 year old. However, I would go with a good organic milk or goat milk and make sure she has an adequate diet. The bottle I would probably ditch for a good sippy and keep the closeness. My first two children had to be on formula before I was ready to wean (medical reasons) and we ditched the bottles after 1 year, and the formula. Neither of my kids missed them, but some do.

[sewingmama]

Yes I did/do extended bottle feeding. All my kids were on formula from 3 months -I just could not keep my breastmilk past then. All three were cow's milk intolerant until 2 yrs (baby is still currently intolerant). All three of mine refused to drink formula from a cup even though they used a cup fine for everything else.

 

So I just continued with the bottle because that is all they would accept the formula in and they couldn't drink cow's milk so they needed to stay on the formula (soy) because you can't give regular soy till past 2 yrs.

 

My first two gave up the bottle at 18 months - my third is now 18 months and still having a bottle about twice a day.

 

I don't really care what people think and none of my children have any teeth problems from it.

 

All my kids were not really eating food well till around 18months-2yrs -so they needed to have the milk.

[Kimberly in IN]

I started to type a response based on what we did, what worked for my family, but it got very long & really who cares what worked for us. My advice is to follow your mommy instinct. I did extended bottle formula feeding with all 4 of mine, for a variety of different reasons. No lingering negative impact. None of the kids are overweight, actually funny to even think about if you could see them. No teeth issues from formula.

 

And, as you know, international adoption raises a bunch of other issues that families that have not adopted internationally don't have to face or may not be aware of. You really can't underestimate those issues.

 

Do what is right for Natalie. If continuing on the bottle w/ formula seems right, it is.

[Joanne]

And, as you know, international adoption raises a bunch of other issues that families that have not adopted internationally don't have to face or may not be aware of. You really can't underestimate those issues.

 

Do what is right for Natalie. If continuing on the bottle w/ formula seems right, it is.

 

I have not adopted internationally (or at all). But I know from care-giver experince that the attachment needs (and risks) involved are unique and specific and very real.

[LibraryLover]

If you don't want to give her milk, does she have a pacifier? How important does sucking seem to her? How does she calm down? How attached is she to the bottle? How upset is she if she doesn't get her bottle? As for soy...can you get organic soy there, or it is GMO? Is that a concern for you?

[TravelingChris]

I never breastfed any of my kids (my medical conditions precluded that since I was on medications) and all my kids were out of bottles by about 1. While they used sippy cups for a short while, it was really short, I believe. For whatever reason, none of them liked those much and rather quickly (certainly no more than 6 months) switched to normal cups. I stopped formula by about a year since they were all eating normal diets by then, cut small, but normal.

 

I do think that having either bottles or sippy cups with anything but water for a long time probably leads to tooth decay. I know I was warned about filling bottles with sugar water or juices for this reason.

[lllll]

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