No time to open gifts at birthday party? How Rude!

[Happy Heart]

I was so perturbed when my son came home from a birthday party to tell me that the Mom just collected the gifts and said they wouldn't be opening them because there wasn't enough time! My reaction, "What? Why not?" This was not the first time I've heard this and I'm just here to voice my opinion that I think it is extremely inconsiderate to not include opening gifts as part of a birthday party. My son/daughter and I spend personal time choosing just the right gifts for their friends. My kids spend time working hard to make a very special card for their friend. I spend my personal time wrapping the gift so it looks attractive. My kids are not only excited to go to a birthday party to do party things but they are excited to give their gift and sometimes more excited to give their card because it is so personalized. These are the things that say, "This is especially for you." This shows their love and care for their friend. Not only that, they would just love to see all of the other gifts given, as well. Why has this very special part of a birthday party been so thoughtlessly excluded?

[JennyD]

Huh. My kids are small yet, but I don't think we've ever been to a birthday party that did include gift-opening. The norm here seems to be to open gifts later and send thank-you notes. I much prefer it to the gift-opening ritual that I recall from my childhood, actually. And I don't think that it in any way diminishes the care and thoughtfulness that went into the gift selection; quite the opposite.

[Bird Girl]

I agree with you, Happy Heart, but we've been to many parties where gifts are not opened. Or where the parents are rude about the fact that you've brought a gift, which is my personal favorite rudeness.

[SpecialClassical]

It could be that the mom knew there would be a disparity among the gifts and wanted to avoid comparisons. Or perhaps a child was unable to bring a gift and she wanted to make sure no guests would feel uncomfortable.

[Carol in Cal.]

I like to have gifts opened at a party, but it can be awkward if someone doesn't bring something or if there are comparisons. Also, sometimes people will rent a party site and have it for exactly 1 or 2 hours, and it seems more generous as a host to let the guests play.

 

At DD's parties, we have always opened the presents while we were there, but not usually let the kids present them, so that if someone doesn't have something they are not conspicuous.

[Truscifi]

We don't open gifts at the party. None of ds's friends do either. I have never thought of it as rude. I didn't choose not to because of time, but because ds and his friends would rather play and the few times I tried it, it was chaos and we couldn't even match the cards with the presents. Not because of ds, but his friends. They kept grabbing things and passing them around to look at them. Now we take the gifts home and open them one at a time so ds can really appreciate them. Then he thanks each friend/relative personally.

 

I would not be rude to another parent asking about it though.

[DaffodilDreams]

Was the party out at a place and not in a home? Some of the event parties that are held in a venue that dd has been to in the past couple of years have not allowed gift opening there. I guess they think it's too much of a mess or else the scheduled activities run too close to when the parents must vacate the space. I think lots of the more popular party spots have one group after another coming in. We've been disappointed when that happens, too, but it didn't cross my mind that it was rude.

[scrappyhappymama]

This is starting to be the trend here as well. Either folks ask for no gifts at all, or they don't open them during the party. At first it bugged me too.

 

BUT, I've changed my mind, and now we've started opening gifts with just our family after the party. Here's our reasoning:

 

- We live in an area with a big discrepancy of incomes. The biggest employer in town is a huge regional hospital, so there are a lot of doctors and kids from well off families. There are also a lot of families of medical students and residents who barely scrape by. In our homeschool group there are families who sacrifice a lot to have a one income family and homeschool. And there are other families much more well off. We have great friends from a variety of financial situations, and we want our friends to feel they can come to our parties without worrying about how nice a gift they can bring, or even worrying about bringing a gift at all. I don't like telling people (or being told) not to bring a gift at all, but we do make it clear that we won't be opening gifts at the party, so friends are welcome to bring a gift or not, as they wish.

 

- My kids love to have active parties- lego saber battles in the backyard, jump houses, swimming, etc. For them, it's fun to enjoy these activities with their friends, and it's nice not to have to pull everyone from the fun activity and make it all about the birthday child. They still get their special time, but later with fewer people around, and my kids actually seem to enjoy it more this way. And our friends really seem to enjoy our parties! :)

[fhjmom]

It seems like opening gifts at the party happens about half the time. I am fine with it either way and don't see it as rude, although I do like to see the reaction to a gift my DC spent such effort choosing (and they usually do put much thought into choosing a gift for a friend). I understand the reasons behind it (the chaos, taking time away from other party activities, limited time at the venue, etc.) but we still plan to open gifts when it is my own DC as honoree.

[Samiam]

We used to do that when we only had our first DS. But after seeing how the birthday child is crowded by other children during the opening process, how the birthday child barely has time to acknowledge the gift before someone else is wanting to see it/take it from him, other children wanting to open the gifts, DS wanting to open things right then and there, possible uncomfortable reaction from DS about gift (yes we taught manners but ya can't always predict what will come out of a child's mouth), disparity amongst gifts, etc etc, etc, we finally decided that we would not open gifts at the party.

 

So, nope, we won't be opening gifts at our birthday parties. I usually have a great party planned out, with lots of activities and a loose schedule to fill up 2 hours and then parents can feel comfortable leaving (because we all know that most everyone is ready to go after about 2 hours!!!).

 

We will open presents later and be sure to send you a thank you card. Our parties, I feel, have been much better without that 15 minutes of mass chaos, too.

Edited January 7, 2011 by Samiam

[oldskool]

I hate it when gifts are opened at a party. Especially when there is a lot of children. I have also been to parties where some of the children couldn't bring gifts for whatever reason and it is sad to see them feel left out. I guess I also don't think my children need to be affirmed by watching someone else open the gift they give. I think your reaction seems a bit "me" centered. Getting a thank-you later in person or through a card in the mail is plenty. It is about the person who is getting not us who are giving. When we give to charity we don't always see who is receiving, but still are happy that we may have helped someone.

We don't do birthday parties outside of our immediate family, but if I did we would never do a gift opening. I didn't even do one for our wedding.

 

Lesley

[AFwife Claire]

I'm definitely in the "whew, they didn't open presents at the party!" camp. Gift-giving is just totally not our love language--I don't think for any of us in our family! And we don't have tons of extra money either. So I always feel bad for my kids and don't want gifts opened in front where all the other kids could think less of them for not instinctively knowing what unique and amazingly thoughtful gift the birthday kid might like. In fact, to me, the gift is sort of this awkward obligation that I am always so relieved to fulfill. When we have parties, we ALWAYS say, "No gifts"! I don't want others to feel awkward about it, like we all do, LOL.

[MariannNOVA]

When we were having birthday parties, I much preferred NOT opening the gifts when everyone was there. It did also seem that we seemed to select places for our parties that specifically did not allow opening gifts there. The wrapped presents would be displayed on a table, but they would be put into large black plastic bags and the birthday child would open them elsewhere.

 

I did find that my kids would write better thank you notes when the gifts were opened quietly at home after the party. Just my .02

 

ETA: Although we have basically stopped having birthday parties, they are now 'please no gift' or something like that if we do celebrate.

Edited January 7, 2011 by MariannNOVA

[Cindyg]

I think when the kids are really little -- so little that it might be hard for them to see another kid get presents on a day when they don't get any -- it could be intended a kindness.

 

I was very glad when my ds was mature enough to have "no gifts" at his b-day parties. I am more comfortable with that.

[Veritaserum]

It is still the norm around here to open gifts at the party. As guests arrive we collect the gifts and set them aside for later. That way a guest who didn't bring one isn't singled out. We open gifts after singing the birthday song and blowing out candles. It keeps the kids busy while we serve the cake. They eat it while the presents are unwrapped.

[eternalknot]

I don't give my kids birthday parties, but if I did? We wouldn't open gifts in front of guests. When given a gift on their birthdays from friends or friends of mine who oblige, my kids still don't open the gift in front of the giver. We open gifts privately, and follow-up with a personal thank-you (call, note, in-person, etc.) This is what feels most respectful and polite -- to me -- because t's how I was raised. NB: I'm Asian, and this is typical of the Asians I know.

 

I don't consider families rude, who open gifts in front of us, but it's not something I would ever permit my own to do. I'd even discipline for it, were the kids to tear into a gift in front of the giver. To me that seems eager and greedy. Rather, it would seem so if it were my kids. I don't pay that much mind to the kids of other people.

 

I'm uncomfortable when we're at parties where the gifts are opened in front of the guests. My gifts are always fine (I always give what the kids ask for, and money isn't an object so ours tend to be among those that "win" a positive reaction) but I still cringe when kids (in their honest reactions) rip into carefully-chosen bags and wonderful wrapping (presentation being important!) then toss other, mediocre gifts to the side as an afterthought or to delve into the next thing.

[Stacia]

I agree w/ the original poster. I think if someone has gone to the trouble to buy you a gift (because, after all, when you host a party, there should never be any obligation or hope that others will bring you gifts), you should be polite enough to open the gift, acknowledge it, and thank the giver (as well as follow-up w/ a written note later). You should also be just as polite & delighted to see guests who arrive w/out gifts.

 

I think it's great practice for kids in many ways:

- How to be gracious when receiving something (that you love, hate, or merely like)

- How to be gracious when not receiving something (if someone didn't bring a gift)

- How to be gracious when you receive a wide variety of gifts (as many here have mentioned an income discrepancy)

- How to be a gracious guest & politely wait for your gift to be opened

- How to be a gracious guest & still enjoy seeing not only your gift unwrapped, but also enjoy watching others giving gifts, etc....

- How to be a gracious guest & enjoy the gathering even if you didn't bring a gift (shouldn't feel self-conscious, ....)

 

These are all skills that, imo, are needed as a polite adult. Childhood is a great time to practice them. :001_smile:

 

We (and our friends) have always opened gifts at parties. All the kids enjoy seeing the gifts &, many times, they will pull them out & play w/ them together. We have not had the experience of kids being rude, pushy, etc... that some have mentioned. Really, it has always worked out great, everyone has been so pleasant, & it's just fun all around. Plus, it's great manners practice for all.

 

(FWIW -- about another scenario mentioned -- we attended a party where we had given the b-day child a gift on his b-day. The party ended up being quite a bit later & we didn't take a gift to the party, though most everyone else did. It was handled wonderfully by the b-day family as well as being great practice for my kids not to feel 'self-conscious' about not having a gift that was opened there. It really was a non-issue, in our experience, in contrast to what others have apparently experienced.)

[Happy Heart]

Hey everyone...thanks so much for enlightening me on some other perspectives. I don't feel as annoyed at this way when I consider some of your very valid reasons for not opening gifts at the parties.

 

I never let on to my child that he or she should be upset if they don't get to "give" their gifts to their friend. Now because of your comments, I do have some explanations for why, perhaps they didn't see their friend open their card/gift.

 

I just feel that something special happens when a child has given a gift and sees it being received. A child feels the intrinsic blessing of giving...it's not about them receiving praises. Most of the time, my kids pick out gifts that THEY would have loved to receive. And Lesley, you've got me all wrong...I am truly far from being a "me-centered" person. I'm sorry if I conveyed that (that's what I hate about writing...some things can be taken so differently). I agree that giving should be without expecting anything in return and not seeking praise or approval. I do teach my kids that.

[Happy Heart]

I think it's great practice for kids in many ways:

- How to be gracious when receiving something (that you love, hate, or merely like)

- How to be gracious when not receiving something (if someone didn't bring a gift)

- How to be gracious when you receive a wide variety of gifts (as many here have mentioned an income discrepancy)

- How to be a gracious guest & politely wait for your gift to be opened

- How to be a gracious guest & still enjoy seeing not only your gift unwrapped, but also enjoy watching others giving gifts, etc....

- How to be a gracious guest & enjoy the gathering even if you didn't bring a gift (shouldn't feel self-conscious, ....)

 

I couldn't agree with you more! These are excellent things to develop in our children and make both giving and receiving truly respectful.

 

Can we all agree that these things that Stacia has pointed out, are wonderful and important qualities that really need to be trained in our children? You may choose a different method for teaching them (ideas?), but I have to say that I definately want my kids to learn all of these.

[HeyChelle]

My kids would be so sad! They put a lot of time and thought into making cards and then shopping for just the right gift.

The one time where we had to leave early my 4 year old ran and grabbed his gift, insisted on presenting and told them, "Please open it before we leave; I picked it out special."

 

There is so much more to a gift than receiving. The act of giving is magical to children.

[Cindyg]

I will agree that I enjoy seeing receipients open their Christmas gifts, despite the fact that I despise obligatory gift giving and shopping for gifts.

[SilverMoonlight]

 

I'm uncomfortable when we're at parties where the gifts are opened in front of the guests. My gifts are always fine (I always give what the kids ask for, and money isn't an object so ours tend to be among those that "win" a positive reaction) but I still cringe when kids (in their honest reactions) rip into carefully-chosen bags and wonderful wrapping (presentation being important!) then toss other, mediocre gifts to the side as an afterthought or to delve into the next thing.

 

:iagree:

[Negin]

Huh. My kids are small yet, but I don't think we've ever been to a birthday party that did include gift-opening. The norm here seems to be to open gifts later and send thank-you notes. I much prefer it to the gift-opening ritual that I recall from my childhood, actually. And I don't think that it in any way diminishes the care and thoughtfulness that went into the gift selection; quite the opposite.

:iagree:

 

ETA:

It also depends on the kid's age. When my dc were very small, as well as the fact that here, no one opens their gifts at bday parties, my dc didn't.

Once they were about 7 or 8, they would open them at the party, and were, by then, better equipped to handle the courtesies, etiquette, etc.

Now, there are no more parties. They're too old for them. Birthdays are family events with one or two friends and that's it. :)

Edited January 7, 2011 by Negin in Grenada

[Heather in Neverland]

NO ONE opens gifts at parties here EVER. And in fact, it is very common here for the parents to only let their child open 1 or 2 gifts at a time and spread it out over a longer period of time.

 

They feel this keeps the child from getting spoiled and also allows the child to enjoy each gift as something special instead of having a huge pile of presents and being unable to choose what to play with or tossing one gift aside in favor of another. They really want each gift to have its own "special attention". I really like this idea!

[5KidzRUs]

Most of the time we do not give gifts - we give a card and $20.

After 26 years worth of bday parties I found that the easiest way for us :lol:

[Laura Corin]

Were the people holding the party Asian? In Chinese culture, gifts are not opened in front of the giver.

 

Laura

[Mom in High Heels]

LOL, we decided after this past b-day party that we will hold the gift opening for later. It's complete chaos and the other kids get right on front of Indy, so we can't get any good reaction photos when he opens stuff. They also try to open things (both the wrapping and the boxes after they are unwrapped) and this makes me crazy. I would never allow Indy to open another kid's gift. Talk about rude. Most of the stuff is from us as we request no gifts, so it shouldn't be a problem to open them privately. At Indy's request, we usually ask for donations to a local charity as he knows he'll be getting a lot from us and the grandparents anyway. He's very conscious of the needs of others and honestly gets more excitement from dropping off the donations than he does from toys that he won't play with that long. For his 7th birthday he asked people to bring food for the local food pantry and this past year, since we had just lost our oldest dog, he asked if people could bring dog or cat food for the local shelter. Of course some still bring gifts in addition to their donations, but others don't.

[DarcyB]

I'm actually okay with not opening presents at a party. We haven't had one with more than 2 or 3 kids, so it's never an issue for us, but especially with bigger parties we've attended, the opening time is dragged out, the kids get super bored, and once they've given their particular gift, they're not often interested in what else is being opened. I'd rather see them play and have fun with the birthday child than sit around waiting for all the present time to happen.

[Mom0012]

How old are your kids?

 

I found that to be the case when my kids were younger. It seems like the trend was to avoid the chaos of opening the gifts when there would be lots of little "helpers" and possibly children getting upset that they didn't get a gift. I always found that aggravating because I know my kids wanted to see their gift opened. Some parties we went to were so large, I could understand why the gifts weren't opened. It would have taken all day.

 

Now that my kids are older, the parties tend to be smaller and the gifts are always opened.

 

Lisa

[Peela]

I think its always best to not have expectations about such things, and to let go of the gift once given.

If they send thankyou notes, then it is all well considered. If they dont, and you never hear anything ever again...well, what to do. Hard on kids who love to give presents, but really, its best not to have expectations, then you wont get offended.

I have noticed it is more of a trend nowadays to not open presents at the party and I think it is often done for well considered reasons. Gifts are often not opened with much grace anyway when there are people busy arriving. Depends on the child and the parent supervising.

Not something worth getting upset about. Give and let go.

[Trish]

We're one of these rude families that no longer open the gifts at parties. (we did when the kids were very young) Maybe it's because I have boys, but the kids all seem far more interested in the activities and playing, than being stopped for Gift Opening. It's that way at pretty much every party they attend, too, so maybe that's just how it is where I live.

 

When they were younger and I attended the parties with them, a few DID open the gifts, always at the end and the kids were antsy and "sugared up," and I remember thinking, "ugh, here's another 30 minutes of my life I won't get back."

 

Baby showers are one thing -- kids' parties? Eh, I don't want to see the gifts. Nor hear about how he/she "already has one" of whatever it is.

[bettyandbob]

When ds turned 5 he attended a daycare center that took scholarship placements. I invited everyone in his "class" 20+. I had enough activity to keep everyone quite occupied for 2.5 hours, we did not open gifts. I knew that there would a huge disparity. And there was. After we cleaned up we spent a long time opening presents, taking about each one and writing a thank you for each present. He's 16. I don't remember all the presents, but I know the hand decorated bulletin board from a child with very difficult circumstances is still in his room. It's just a small sheet of cork with glitter and shells glued to the edges. It never would have compared with the latest super hero remote control car or anything else that's long since outgrown. I was surprised he brought a present and that was my original reason for not opening presents.

 

That was my experience with my own party. I have also attended parties for for young preschoolers where the attendees had trouble with one person getting all the loot.

[nd293]

Huh. My kids are small yet, but I don't think we've ever been to a birthday party that did include gift-opening. The norm here seems to be to open gifts later and send thank-you notes. I much prefer it to the gift-opening ritual that I recall from my childhood, actually. And I don't think that it in any way diminishes the care and thoughtfulness that went into the gift selection; quite the opposite.

 

:iagree:We've been to parties that include both approaches, but I prefer that gifts not be opened at the party. I think it simply lends itself to comparisons, and to people feeling bad if they brought an "inferior" gift, a duplicate gift, etc. I also dislike the "grabbiness" of seeing a child work their way through a pile of gifts with no real time to appreciate each. I have had someone at dd's birthday explain that they were financially unable to bring more than a token gift. Why should that child feel marginalised in any way at the party? People are not always kind, and children often speak or act before they think...

Edited January 7, 2011 by nd293

[NanceXToo]

We always have opened gifts at our parties and the kids who attend always seem to enjoy that part. Usually other parties I go to are like that, too, but I HAVE been to parties where they collected the gifts to open later. I do understand that when you have a place you are paying for you get a limited time and the kids often want to play, eat, have cake and so on, and sometimes time really does just get away from you. Now, if they don't send you a thank you card, I'd be ticked off. :P

[Melinda in VT]

Miss Manners comes down on the side of not opening presents at kids' parties, although of course your child must write a thank you note for each gift. :001_smile:

[Mejane]

I'm actually okay with not opening presents at a party. We haven't had one with more than 2 or 3 kids, so it's never an issue for us, but especially with bigger parties we've attended, the opening time is dragged out, the kids get super bored, and once they've given their particular gift, they're not often interested in what else is being opened. I'd rather see them play and have fun with the birthday child than sit around waiting for all the present time to happen.

 

:iagree:Plus there's nothing worse than having a kid open your child's gift and give it a look of disdain or say something rude. We'll pass.

[Maria from IN]

I have noticed that other posters here have mentioned quietly squirrelling away gifts from family members that are inappropriate--or in some way do not jibe with the family's beliefs--and are later donated to an organization.

 

Perhaps this could be a reason for taking them home first.

 

:001_smile:

[catz]

Miss Manners comes down on the side of not opening presents at kids' parties, although of course your child must write a thank you note for each gift. :001_smile:

 

:iagree: I really dislike gift opening at parties. If it's very small, I wouldn't mind. The last party I attended was a mix aged party with 30 kids and maybe 20 gifts for a 4 year old. The kids had to sit and watch every gift opened. It was painful for everyone. Not to mention, the 4 year old was done after the 3rd one. I personally have no gift parties if the kids want a larger gathering. I don't fuss if some kids bring a gift, but my kids also end up with 8-10 gifts due to relatives plus we get what we want them to have.

 

I do think thank you notes are VERY important and that is the piece my kids look forward to. The 4 year old with the 20 gifts and her brother's party that was the same never did thank you notes. Which I personally feel was really rude. Feels like that huge party was a gift grubbing campaign since half the party was about the gifts, everyone they know was invited, and no one was thanked personally.

[mirth]

If the hostess can be pleased just by the honor of your presence at the party, could you not find sufficient gratification in the company and festivities provided?

 

I don't like the gift-viewing portion but if a hostess organized such a thing, especially within the confines of her own house, we would sit, watch it and smile.

[QueenCat]

although of course your child must write a thank you note for each gift. :001_smile:

 

 

Drives me crazy when people don't send thank you notes. This should be done regardless of whether or not the gift was opened in front of the giver.

[Pretty in Pink]

It doesn't bother me at all when the child does not open the gifts at the party. I'm more annoyed by the lack of a thank you note afterwards.

[blakereese]

I know where you are coming from on this...I LOVE to give gifts, and try to really get something that the birthday person will really enjoy. It is disappointing not to see a reaction.

 

BUT with childrens' bday parties, I do not think it is rude at all to have the gifts opened after the guests leave. Like someone else said, it isn't about you. It is about the birthday child. It is much more fun to run around playing with friends, or to enjoy the party venue that may only be rented for a couple of hours. And I can tell you from experience that gift unwrapping time with small kids can be excruciating. Everyone crowding around the birthday child, trying to see what it is, some kid crying because he doesn't have a gift, another child crying because someone else bought the same thing...on and on and on. In the younger years, most of the parties we go to have 20+ children, and unwrapping gifts would take a very long time. In general, it just isn't fun for the kids or the parents hosting the party. We did it one time, and now we don't (at large parties). But I agree with many others...must write a thank you card! Hand written, not email. ;) Most people do not do this anymore, and I do not understand. Now that is RUDE.

 

And I really think that "no gifts" is the perfect way to go for kids' bday parties. We have tried it a few times (having it on the invitation or speaking word of mouth) and it isn't always well-received. I'm not sure why. I have a group of friends from a play group when my DS was a baby, we have all been friends for 7 years. We have all instituted a "no gifts" policy between ourselves, because we all have 3-4 kids now, and about 30 kids between us. So, it is ALWAYS someone's bday. I am glad that we have done this, it has made things more comfortable between us and just one less thing to worry about. We truly just want to see each other at the birthday parties, which is how I feel in general. I mean, really...what child needs 20 or more birthday gifts? I don't mean this to sound ungrateful, just matter-of-fact. Like Christmas, birthdays have become more commercialized, and another time for obligatory gifts. Anyway, I am pleased when parents have a "no gift" suggestion, and even more pleased when they ask for a donation to a charity or the like in lieu of a gift. I have also really appreciated the handmade gifts we have received over the years. Those stay around our house a lot longer than the latest spongebob something or other.

 

One year when we had specified "no gifts" a mom actually asked me if that meant that we would not bring a gift to her child's birthday...because her child would really expect a gift...:confused: (and so would she...is what I took that as meaning...ugh). But I guess there is a point in that...I do sort of feel obligated to buy a gift for children who have given a gift to one of my kids. And I don't like to feel that way. We can't really afford to spend a lot of gifts, and I hate that I sometimes feel like we should decline a bday invitation because someone expects a reciprocal gift. It can be a sticky situation sometimes.

 

I think as gift-givers we need to just let it go, and realize it is not about us. Hopefully our gift will bring joy to the receiver, and hopefully we will hear about it in a thank you note. ;) It has been hard for me to let this go, but now I really see a whole other side to it.

 

(I have to add here that I typed out 'invitation' instead of 'invite' because it was on the Word that Bug You thread :lol:)

Edited January 7, 2011 by blakereese
adding some clarifying words :)

[nono]

As I age, I try to say to myself, "Well, that was different" instead of "Well, that was rude." (I don't always succeed, but every year it gets easier!).

 

Seeing that you are in the Garden State, I'm with Heather and Laura on this. Any chance the family had an Asian background? In those cultures, it's generally very bad form to open gifts right then and there.

[In the Rain]

Well, I never fail to learn something new on the WTM board. :lol: I've never been to a b-day party for a child where gifts weren't opened. I've never even heard of that!

 

I can think of a few HUGE parties where I wish we could have skipped that portion. One friend gives huge parties and her kids tire of gift opening long before the stack of gifts is done. There must have been 40 guests the year her son turned 5. We were at Chuck E Cheese and that boy just wanted to go play. :lol: I usually chat with other guests though and don't compare gifts. I feel good about the gifts we give, even though they aren't as expensive as many of the other gifts. I will say that my dds LOVE watching gifts be opened. They would be very disappointed to miss seeing their gift being opened.

 

I really agree with Stacia's post about what can be learned by the gift opening experience. I guess this is best applied at the types of parties we have, and usually attend. There are generally kids from about 4 families. Being sweet, and relatively calm little girls, they are generally delighted by any gift and make a big production of saying so! :lol: One girl's favorite gift was a box full of special rocks collected by another girl. :lol: Kids crack me up! :D

[In the Rain]

As I age, I try to say to myself, "Well, that was different" instead of "Well, that was rude." (I don't always succeed, but every year it gets easier!).

 

 

I love it. I need to adopt that motto!

[Susan in TN]

I don't suppose they were Vietnamese? We knew a Vietnamese family and this was a cultural thing for them. I'm not sure if that's true of all Vietnamese.

[texasmama]

When we have held bday parties at a location like a bounce house place, we chose to open gifts at home rather than at the place because the children would rather play than watch the present opening. I always explained to the parents what we were doing and why. We have been on the receiving end of this, as well. Though it is a bit different, I think it is a trend and I understand the reasons.

[Happy Heart]

Were the people holding the party Asian? In Chinese culture, gifts are not opened in front of the giver.

Laura

 

No and there were only 5 or 6 other children present, besides the siblings.

[3littlekeets]

When we moved to Alabama, we were surprised by the trend here, but after 5 years, we have realized that it is simply the way it is done here. :001_smile:

[BarbecueMom]

It doesn't bother me at all when the child does not open the gifts at the party. I'm more annoyed by the lack of a thank you note afterwards.

 

See, this is actually kind of weird to me. Growing up, thank you notes were never sent or received for gifts given during a kid's birthday party. The pizza, cake and ice cream, goody bag, and 2 hours of mini golf or bounce house or whatever was considered enough of a thank you, I guess. We opened gifts at the party rather than later, so that might change things a little bit in regards to sending a note.