mysticamethyst Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 This morning on the way home from jui jitsu my son and I were witness to a horrible motorcycle accident. I rushed over to do what I could while we waited for the ambulance. That boy died in my arms. I am besides myself and cannot stop crying, my son doesn't know what to do or say; he was driving. Please pray for that boy and his family. I know he was 19 from his ID and that his name was Brandon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 Oh, Tammy, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you were there to be of some comfort though. I'll be praying.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 Wow, no words can express how sorry I am you had to go through that. I am glad you were there to comfort him and that he wasn't alone when he died. You might benefit from talking with someone like a pastor, counselor etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 Oh! Bless your heart. I am so sorry. :grouphug::grouphug: Praying for you & your son and also for Brandon's family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 I'm so sorry you had to do that, but I'm very glad such a kind person was with him. :grouphug: Yes, I will pray for the repose of Brandon's soul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: How horrible! I can't even imagine how incredibly upset you must be! One thing to remember is that you did a really, really good thing. That boy didn't die alone on the street. You were there to hold him, and even if he was unconscious and didn't realize it, somewhere he has a mom who would feel better knowing her boy wasn't all alone. If you find out the boy's name, you might want to send his mom a note and let her know he didn't die alone and that he didn't suffer. That would mean so much to her, because she's probably picturing him scared and in terrible pain. If she knows it was quick and that he was immediately unconscious, it will comfort her a little. And even if he did seem to be suffering, I might strongly consider telling his mom a little white lie about it. I know this is terribly difficult for you, but maybe God just wanted someone special to be there for that boy. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 Tammy, thank you so much for what you did for that boy, and please know that his family will be forever grateful to you for the fact that he died in someone's arms and not alone. My brother was killed in a motorcyle accident just two months ago, and my family are so very grateful to the stranger who was holding him when he died. I'm sorry for the trauma you've endured, but you did a truly wonderful thing. :grouphug: Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaMa2005 Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysticamethyst Posted December 14, 2010 Author Share Posted December 14, 2010 I'm not sure what to do for my son. He is shocked by what he saw and how quickly it all happen. I know he will have questions. Thanks for being here for me. All of you ladies/gents are my friends and I knew I could come here for a shoulder. I am going to cuddle up and watch a movie and see if oldest will join me. No school today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 It's terrible that your older son had to witness the accident, but an experience like that could end up saving his life or someone else's life some day. He will probably think twice before riding a motorcycle, and will probably be extra-careful about watching out for motorcycle riders while he's driving. He has also witnessed how quickly something tragic can happen, and that may go a long way toward making him a safer driver. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 It was a gift that he had a mother's loving arms around him when he passed. I'm sure that will give his own mother some small measure of comfort. :grouphug: to you and your son and to that boy's family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 Read the PTSD thread. You may want to get both of you some counseling her soon. It will be good to have someone to talk to and to understand why you will never react the same when a motorcycle passes you. I pray strength and hope to you all!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 This morning on the way home from jui jitsu my son and I were witness to a horrible motorcycle accident. I rushed over to do what I could while we waited for the ambulance. That boy died in my arms. I am besides myself and cannot stop crying, my son doesn't know what to do or say; he was driving. Please pray for that boy and his family. I know he was 19 from his ID and that his name was Brandon. My heart goes out to you. My children and I witnessed a motorcycle accident 4 yrs ago. I was the first person to the woman. I heard later that she died from head injuries. It was a very difficult situation and my two children still talk about it every time we go through that intersection. Praying for you, your son and this boys family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OregonNative Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 This truly makes my heart ache! You did a wonderful thing for this boy. I can't imagine how this has impacted you and your sons lives. I am praying for the family.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 Praying for Brandon and his family and for you, your son and family. This is so tragic! We had many motorcycle accidents come into the hospital when I was a young nurse, always sad. :angelsad2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 :grouphug: You were there and he didn't have to die alone. I think his folks would be comforted by that too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalphs Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 :grouphug: Praying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teamturner Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 I'm praying for you, your son, and Brandon's family. Thank you for being there for him. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 I'm so sorry! I hope it gives his family some comfort to know that he didn't die alone. It must have been incredibly difficult for you and your DS to witness that. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 How horrible. I'll be praying for his family and for you and ds.:grouphug:I'm sorry you had to experience that--I'm glad you were there and he didn't have to die alone.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 (edited) Oh I am so sorry this happened to you! :( I praise God that he sent a comfort to this boy as he took his last breaths. I will keep Brandon's family in my prayers and you too! A year and a half ago, we lost TWO young boys (12 and 13 years) in a motorcycle accident right in front of my church. Some saw it and some showed up to witness the clean up which was very telling of the horrific nature of the accident. None of us will ever drive by that stretch of highway again without thinking of that day! Edited December 15, 2010 by Tree House Academy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 It was a gift that he had a mother's loving arms around him when he passed. I'm sure that will give his own mother some small measure of comfort. :grouphug: to you and your son and to that boy's family. Yes, my thougths exactly. Here in CT we are all reeling from a tragic auto accident that took the lives of four teens in one car last week. It's so difficult any time of the year, but the holidays make it more so. I'm so sorry you have had to go through this. Your lives will be forever changed. Sending you peace and love, astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alyeska Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 Thank you...thank you for holding him. :crying: My stepfather died in a motorcycle accident 4 years ago and some kind lady sat with him and held his hand until he passed on. It was such a comfort to us to know he wasn't alone. I will keep you in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 Oh, I'm in tears. That poor family. My prayers are with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colleenebeans Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 I am so sorry what you are going through. Let yourself cry and take your time to deal with all the emotions that your feeling. Dont push yourself to "move on" too quickly and please, talk as often as you can to get support. We are all here for you and just having people listening can make all the difference in the world. Give your son a huge hug and let him know that we are all thinking of him too. You and your son will forever be changed from this experience and perhaps this can make your faith stronger in whatever religious belief you practice. You are an amazing person and I pray that you will find peace in knowing that you were there to comfort someone in their ulitmate time of need. I pray that when it is time for my son to be with the Lord that someone like you would be there to hold him if I was unable. It may be helpful for you and your son's healing process as well as the boys mother to speak and let her know you were there. God Bless and if there is anything I can do to help you, even if it is just talking, please feel free to contact me. I am going through a tragic event right now as my mother in law is on life support and just knowing people are out there who care gives me that warm fuzzy feeling. Praying for you and your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeacherZee Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 (edited) I will keep you, your son and Brandon in the light. You did a truly wonderful thing. I occasionally work in palliative care and I know that the families are always comforted by the fact that their loved ones are not alone when they die. Like others have said, know that Brandon's family will find some measure of peace knowing that he was not alone when he passed away. I also agree with others who have said that you and your son need to talk to someone soon. Priest, pastor or counselor. But someone who has training to deal with this sort of experience. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Edited December 14, 2010 by TeacherZee spelling mistakes drive me nuts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patches Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 Praying for you, your son, and Brandon's family. You did a wonderful kind thing. Thank you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 :grouphug: before you curl up with the movie, call your health care provider and ask for an appointment with a trauma councelor in the next 24 hours.... earlier is better. this is one kind of counceling where the sooner you see someone, the biggest difference it makes... and it can make all the difference in the world. if you don't have a health care provider, the police station or the local hospital should have a referral list. :grouphug: ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 How are you guys holding up, Tammy? Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colleenebeans Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 :iagree: Thats good stuff, great idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 Oh sweetie pie. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lulubelle Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 :grouphug: That is so sad. Praying you can get through this experience okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 I'm not sure what to do for my son. He is shocked by what he saw and how quickly it all happen. I know he will have questions. Thanks for being here for me. All of you ladies/gents are my friends and I knew I could come here for a shoulder. I am going to cuddle up and watch a movie and see if oldest will join me. No school today. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: If it were my son, I would have felt better that someone was there to hold him. I am crying because we pulled my ds out of a ditch last weekend. He slid off the road in his car on the snow. He was fine, but all sorts of things go through your head at the time. You did a wonderful and noble thing today. Enjoy your movie and hug your son and tell him how much you love him. Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysticamethyst Posted December 14, 2010 Author Share Posted December 14, 2010 How soon after a death does the paper run the obituary? I would like to go to the service if its not tacky just to give the mother a piece of mind; or would this just be weird? I do not deal well at all with death--I avoid dealing with it to be honest so I really don't know the protocal. I'm doing okay I think, catching up on the dvr and working on an afgan I thought would be an easy project. Really just trying to keep my mind busy. DH is coming home after his lunch with Starbucks and chocolate; he is just a good guy. Dinner will be something quick and easy; thinking something that delivers. My son cried and said he didn't want to drive again anytime soon. I told him that it was okay after what we had seen this morning; heck I am not excited about it but then pointed out to him he did just right at the time. He stopped with force but not slamming on breaks and was on his cell with 911 as I was getting out of the car, and he never left the car. It is a lot to process and we have been changed forever. Thank you all so much for hugs and sharing. :grouphug: Side note, I have told all my kids motorcycles are not allowed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 This morning on the way home from jui jitsu my son and I were witness to a horrible motorcycle accident. I rushed over to do what I could while we waited for the ambulance. That boy died in my arms. I am besides myself and cannot stop crying, my son doesn't know what to do or say; he was driving. Please pray for that boy and his family. I know he was 19 from his ID and that his name was Brandon. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Tammy, thank you so much for what you did for that boy, and please know that his family will be forever grateful to you for the fact that he died in someone's arms and not alone. My brother was killed in a motorcyle accident just two months ago, and my family are so very grateful to the stranger who was holding him when he died. I'm sorry for the trauma you've endured, but you did a truly wonderful thing. :grouphug: Jackie Jackie, I'm so sorry for your loss. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 How soon after a death does the paper run the obituary? I would like to go to the service if its not tacky just to give the mother a piece of mind; or would this just be weird? I do not deal well at all with death--I avoid dealing with it to be honest so I really don't know the protocal. I'm doing okay I think, catching up on the dvr and working on an afgan I thought would be an easy project. Really just trying to keep my mind busy. DH is coming home after his lunch with Starbucks and chocolate; he is just a good guy. Dinner will be something quick and easy; thinking something that delivers. My son cried and said he didn't want to drive again anytime soon. I told him that it was okay after what we had seen this morning; heck I am not excited about it but then pointed out to him he did just right at the time. He stopped with force but not slamming on breaks and was on his cell with 911 as I was getting out of the car, and he never left the car. It is a lot to process and we have been changed forever. Thank you all so much for hugs and sharing. :grouphug: Side note, I have told all my kids motorcycles are not allowed. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LunaLee Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug: What a brave and noble thing you did. I agree with a pp, that if that were my son, I would have so much peace in knowing that he died in the arms of a mother who was brave enough to do what you did. I will be praying for you, your family, and his. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieH Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 How awful :( Prayers for all of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 I don't see any reason why you couldn't attend the wake, if it's something you feel compelled to do. I'm sure the family would appreciate knowing that someone was there with their son when he died and that you even cared enough to pay your respects at the viewing. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 Oh Tammy, I am so very sorry. I had a similar experience in February, but the gentleman on the bike died instantly. I cannot imagine how much worse your experience was. God bless you for what you had the strength and kindness to do. Please follow the advice others have offered and get into counseling now. Don't wait like I have done. I just shoved it aside and didn't let myself grieve and truly heal, and it's coming back to haunt me now, literally. I don't want the same thing to happen to you. Take care of yourself and your son. Praying for you all and Brandon's family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsbaby Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 Wow. That's just heartbreaking. I will keep your family, as well as Brandon's in my prayers. I think attending the service would be appropriate if you wanted to. As a mother, I would appreciate it if it were my son. You may not have known him, but he is now someone that has had a huge impact on your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarlaB Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 It was a gift that he had a mother's loving arms around him when he passed. I'm sure that will give his own mother some small measure of comfort. :grouphug: to you and your son and to that boy's family. Prayers for you, your son & the boys family. :grouphug: I'm so, so sorry this happened- how heartbreaking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 This morning on the way home from jui jitsu my son and I were witness to a horrible motorcycle accident. I rushed over to do what I could while we waited for the ambulance. That boy died in my arms. I am besides myself and cannot stop crying, my son doesn't know what to do or say; he was driving. Please pray for that boy and his family. I know he was 19 from his ID and that his name was Brandon. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: oh my gosh! How horrible! Praying for you and Brandon's family. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 God Bless you for staying with that boy. As a mother, it would bring me peace to know my child didn't die alone. :grouphug: Same thought here! As hard as this was to witness, God used you in a mighty way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journeytolily Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 I have tears in my eyes as I read - how tragic! My prayers are with you and your son, and Brandon's family. I think you should definitely seek some counseling, and I also think you should plan on attending the service if possible. The obits are many times posted within the next day or two. As hard as it was for you, it was a wonderful thing that this young man didn't have to die alone. Hugs, Veronica Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 I have tears in my eyes as I read - how tragic! My prayers are with you and your son, and Brandon's family. I think you should definitely seek some counseling, and I also think you should plan on attending the service if possible. The obits are many times posted within the next day or two. As hard as it was for you, it was a wonderful thing that this young man didn't have to die alone. Hugs, Veronica :iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree: I couldn't have said it any better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted December 14, 2010 Share Posted December 14, 2010 This morning on the way home from jui jitsu my son and I were witness to a horrible motorcycle accident. I rushed over to do what I could while we waited for the ambulance. That boy died in my arms. I am besides myself and cannot stop crying, my son doesn't know what to do or say; he was driving. Please pray for that boy and his family. I know he was 19 from his ID and that his name was Brandon. :grouphug::grouphug: I know not everyone is the same of course and you can only do what you're capable of but... my BIL was killed in a car accident. Some people stopped. Some held him and spoke to him at the scene. Those people came to the hosptial (he was in trauma ICU but never regained consciousness) and spoke to us and told us they were there. For our family it helped to know someone was with him at the scene, praying for him, talking to him. I don't know if the same would help this family but if it were my child and if you were able I would want to know he did not die alone. Only if you're able of course. I'm sorry you and your son witnessed that. I'm glad Brandon wasn't alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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