does your 10-15yo have their 'own' computer?

[mazakaal]

We have a family computer, dh has a laptop for work, and I recently got an old computer from freecycle for the kids to use as an extra computer. My 14yo and 12yo both want their own laptops. Apparently a lot of kids here have their own laptops. I'm just wondering if ds are exaggerating about how common it is for a young person to have their own computer, so....

 

Does your 10-15yo have a computer for their sole use, even if the computer is officially owned by you?

[Shawna in Texas]

DD got a netbook for 6th grade (Aug. 2009). It's mostly used for school, music, and digital art. It's obviously monitored. We share assignments on google docs and since she's gotten really big on keeping assignments for school, we share a google calendar as well. I would say 75% of her assignments are done on it.

 

None of her friends have their own, though. My 14 year old sister recently got her own notebook, but she's hugely into digital art, so that was her reason for wanting one.

[RegGuheert]

All of our children have their own computers. Decent computers cost about $300.00 if you buy them from Wal-Mart at the "Special Sales" in early November.

[scrappyhappymama]

Our eight year old has his "own" computer. It's our old desktop. But it's only going to last a few more years before it's obsolete, and I am pretty sure we will replace it with his own laptop when the time comes (or pass down one of ours). Decent laptops that can handle schoolwork and internet access can be had for under $500. So yes, I suspect that as our children move into that age range, they will have their own laptops.

[Alphabetika]

We have one computer in our family, by choice. We share it.

[Pamela H in Texas]

My daughter got her own laptop at 16. She paid for it with her own money. Currently, my ds(15) uses my husband's laptop considerably more than my hubby does. We made a deal with ds (though I don't remember why as it sounds odd to me now) that when he got half of his high school program (not the mommy stuff, just the "boxed" part) completed, we'd get him his own computer. I believe he's within a couple months of that goal. So he'll still be 15 when that happens.

Edited September 9, 2010 by 2J5M9K

[Renee in NC]

My 12yo has his own computer, but it is currently broken.

 

My 17yo has had his own laptop since he was 12. The laptop that belongs to the current 12yo was one that belonged to the now 17yo when he was 12.

 

My 17yo will get a new laptop next summer for college and his current one will come to the 12yo.

 

ETA: We are a pretty wired family because my mother has owned a computer store/business for more than 15 years.

[hsmamainva]

My 8 & 11 year olds share a computer in the school room.

 

My 16yo has his own computer -- he built it himself! :) -- and my 19yo has her own computer.

[Ester Maria]

I voted yes, but in effetti, there are several computers and we all pretty much use all of them (except for dad's notebook that's for his work and business only). They often take a notebook into their room for a few days, etc., but officially, they don't have "their" notebooks that nobody else uses.

[Carrie12345]

My 12yo doesn't currently have his own laptop. The four kids do have a laptop that they all share.

 

I would like ds to have his own, but he has been unable to prove himself trustworthy without constant supervision, and I just don't have an extra set of eyes right now. It would come in handy though. He prefers typing to writing, and he's almost always interested in doing extra research on school topics in addition to games and emailing family. It gets difficult when he needs to share with 3 other kids after school time.

[Jen+4dc]

No, they don't and I really doubt they ever will, at least not one that lives in their rooms. Dh is a Navy chaplain (so he does tons of individual and family counseling) and has seen waaaaaaaay toooooo much horrific stuff happening in families because people (kids and parents) had "private" access to the internet. Yes, I know there are good filters out there, but still...

 

Computers in our house (we currently have 1 desktop and 1 laptop) live in main living areas (currently they're both in the school room) where anyone could walk by at any time and see what you're doing. This also allows them to participate in your game or help you with a project if you need it while you're on the computer. I don't see this changing anytime soon. If the kids got their own laptops they'd still have to use them somewhere other than their bedrooms. That obviously doesn't ensure safety, but as parents you do your best to teach, train and protect. They all know why we have this rule. Even Mom and Dad follow this rule! :D

[Keniki]

We have one family computer (desktop) and share it. So far, we haven't had a need for more. We even have a 21 yo and he doesn't have his own computer either.

[elegantlion]

Our ds was 11 when he got his laptop. Technically it was a hand me down from dh, but it's the same model I have. He is getting into video editing and uses it mostly for that and school.

[Jennifer in MI]

I voted no for all of my kids. But, this year, we're getting my oldest the iTouch for christmas. So I guess technically, he'll have his own "computer." Right now we have one in the middle of our kitchen/eating area.

[cupajoe]

My three oldest have their own mini-laptops. I think individual laptops/computers are almost necessities for multiple, older dc all homeschooling in the same household. I can't imagine the scheduling issues if they all needed to share one computer.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

everyone in the house but the dog has his/her own laptop. Plus there's a room in the basement with 3 or 4 computers for online gaming. That way the kids can invite friends and play together. Those computers are obsolete by now though, and we don't have the money to upgrade.

 

DS is almost 13 and has had his lapbook for a year. DD just turned 10 and has had her own for a few months. Laptops reside in their rooms for the moment.

[Alessandra]

We have one computer in our family, by choice. We share it.

 

Ditto here, at least for now. I suppose kids (ds 10, dd 10) could use my not too old Dell PC, but everyone here shudders at the thought -- we are a Mac family.

 

No, they don't and I really doubt they ever will, at least not one that lives in their rooms. Dh is a Navy chaplain (so he does tons of individual and family counseling) and has seen waaaaaaaay toooooo much horrific stuff happening in families because people (kids and parents) had "private" access to the internet. Yes, I know there are good filters out there, but still... :D

 

Great point!!

Edited September 9, 2010 by Alessandra

[Lolly]

Mine receive laptops when they start high school. That puts them at 14 turning 15. Most of their friends have already had their own for quite a while at that point.

[Ester Maria]

No, they don't and I really doubt they ever will, at least not one that lives in their rooms.[...] If the kids got their own laptops they'd still have to use them somewhere other than their bedrooms.

We had this system for a long time and even nowadays I prefer the laptops to be used in the living room (and 90% of the time they are, kids take them to their rooms only if they wish to work on something, mostly for school, or talk with their friends via Skype without distracting the rest of family that's in the living room, etc.), I started to allow them to take the laptops with them only in the past year (12-13 y.o.) and not for very extended periods of time.

 

I'm not into controlling my kids (I don't have their passwords or anything, I think that's going a little bit too far), but I fear that laptops constantly in rooms would be an excellent distraction from many more important things. I do understand, though, people who don't want any technology in bedrooms, and somewhat admire going with that choice till the end. We're slowly starting to give it up this year and allowing them to take them for a few hours or even days.

[Elfinlady]

Mine are 9 and 13, and they both have their own laptops. They stay downstairs though, and do not go to bedrooms.

[Joker]

My dds, 10 and 8, are getting a laptop to share for Christmas. I figure if they want one for their very own they will need to buy it themselves.

[Jan in SC]

My dc received laptops when they turned seven. We have the internet set to a password for us and then use a link on the main page to the websites they may see. They don't use them tons, though. My ten year old uses his as a dvd player if he is sick. The nine year old edits lego movies with his, and the seven year old visits the electric company website every once in a while.

 

My oldest, the ten year old, also has a netbook that he uses for school.

[Ottakee]

We have 2 kids computers that are downstairs BUT they don't have internet on them.

 

The public school in the district just down the road issues laptops to all of the kids starting in 6th grade. The kids use them in class, take them home, etc. and then turn them in at the end of the school year. They have laptops for all 4th and 5th graders as well but those must stay at school.

 

My concern is unmonitored internet access---for anyone.

 

My 22ds (who is impaired with fetal alcohol and cognitive delay) has an ipod touch and wants to know how much it would cost to have wireless here at home. We could do this for free but I don't want to have him down in his room all hours of the day and night on the internet. Far to easy to even stumble onto something inappropriate.

[HistoryMom]

Our 13 y.o. has a laptop and our two littles have a desktop PC that they share. Then again, we own an IT business so we have computers coming out the wazoo. I would not have purchased the teen his own laptop. We have strict parental controls set up and he's not permitted to use it in his room.

[The Girls' Mom]

My 3 share a computer that sits in the office area behind me :)

[ma23peas]

My husband's a software engineer, so believe it or not we have 6 computers at our house, two with towers and 4 laptop/notebooks...the kids can only access Rosetta Stone and use mine for typing up their composition papers.../research...mine stays on the kitchen table in full view..never leaves...we have parental blocks on them...they're a great tool but with all the social networks/questionable filth even on a google..we just don't want to go there...I'm sure when they go off to college, they'll have their own...but not now.

 

Tara

[Guest ME-Mommy]

I voted "no" for all my children...

 

We have a "family" computer in the corner of the kitchen/dining room and we have 1 "family" laptop that gets used only in the same area or possibly in the living room. (right off the kitchen/dining room)

 

Our oldest just started taking a course at the local community college and we have considered getting her a laptop to use. We're still thinking it over...she says about 1/2 her class has a laptop at class. (supposedly for taking notes -- although she says very little note-taking happens...:glare:)

[mysticamethyst]

All 4 of my kids have their own computer and have since we have had them to pass down. They do not have laptops because they are hard on things and laptops are fragile for them.

[Beach Mom]

My oldest has a laptop she bought with her petsitting money this summer. She uses it for school (keyboard, computer class, typing papers) and for keeping in touch with cousins via skype. She can access the internet only in the family room area of our house.

 

I will say she treats it very carefully since she bought it, and appreciates it more than she would have if we bought it. We would likely have bought her one this year for Christmas (shhh don't tell her :D)

[Jamee]

Our boys have our old computer set up in their playroom, but with no internet access. Their friends--6 and 10--both got laptops for Christmas last year, so DS10 has been asking for one. I don't think he has a need for one just yet, not with the computer in the other room. It's old, but meets their needs.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

I'm not into controlling my kids (I don't have their passwords or anything, I think that's going a little bit too far),

 

You're entirely entitled to think this way, but I wanted to let you know what our local policeman told us at a parents meeting. If something should happen to your child, having the child's password may be a life-saving issue.

 

Locally, a 12yo girl got into a fling with a man from Belgium. The parents knew and attempted to stop it. They even had the police involved. One day, the then 13 yo escaped. The police checked the Belgian, and sure enough he had just flown into the country. Having the child's password allowed the policemen to raid the hotel room where the two were hiding, before they could fly away in the morning. They were too late to stop the 'deed' though. The man did get what he came for, unfortunately... Cracking a password wastes several hours in an investigation.

online article in French

 

In this household, we all have each other's passwords (well the kids don't have the parents password, but the spouses do, and we have the kids passwords) We explained why, and the kids agree it's just safer that way.

[vonfirmath]

Growing up, I got my own computer right at the start of 7th grade. So for my 13th birthday? Maybe 12th. My parents bought a used Commodore 64 off of a friend for me because it was the only thing I wanted, and had been for quite a while. I still remember that. I thought there was NO WAY I was getting what I wanted. That computer was the center of every penny I earned for the next 6 years or so (I even upgraded it to a Commodore 128 on my own)

[Luckymama]

The older two received laptops as their only Christmas present last year (scored really good ones through Best Buy at the beginning of December). So many of their assignments are posted online and they have so much writing to do that it was very difficult having them share the home desktop and my laptop. Dd10 by default has the desktop as her own. It's on its last legs. When it finally stops working, we'll get her a laptop, though she might inherit ds's if he needs something specific for college next year.

 

I cannot fathom homeschooling high school age/ability students without personal laptops!

[BeckyFL]

No one gets their own computer until the summer before college at my house. Many reasons for that and it's worked very well I will say.

[Tabrett]

Voted 12-13. My 16 yr dd got her computer when she was 13. She needed a laptop because she was doing SOS. It was my dh old laptop. We have never bought her a new laptop. She always gets our old ones.

[KarenNC]

My 10 yo has had her own computer since she was about 7. It's our old desktop and resides in the family room along with our computer and is not connected to the Internet. She rarely uses it as she prefers to use ours to watch videos online (we don't have cable/satellite and only spotty reception otherwise) or play some online games. She is an only---if she had sibs they would need to share it.

 

We have Net Nanny on our computer. No computer and no tv in bedrooms here. We do have an old laptop that a friend passed down to us, but until we get a wireless router working it has limited applications.

[Mama_Rana]

My 6 yo has his own laptop. Um, actually 2. One is a One Laptop Per Child XO laptop; very simple. The other is my old, old laptop that is very slow and clunky. The XO plays some simple games, and the other just has a few games on it. Neither are set up to go on the internet.

[nukeswife]

My kids all got laptops last year. They are now 11 years old, 8.5 years old and 5 years old. My older two use it for math and the oldest uses it to type up his IEW assignments. They also use it to play games and go to webkinz like sites.

[Impish]

Nope. We have only 1 puter, the desktop. Diva is allowed on for only schoolwork.

 

I used to let them on for games, starfall, etc...til the puter kept crashing. Its old, on its last legs, and banning gaming, etc is my way of trying to baby it along until I can afford another puter.

 

No November $300 sales here in Canada.

 

When I replace it, the kids will be allowed to take over this puter until it dies.

 

The Littles each have a 'computer' by Vtech? But its not what we're really talking about, lol. No internet or anything, just games.

[BMW]

A few of my teens do, but not because I spent the money. They have a very computer savvy grandma and she got them older desktops and they fixed them up and keep them going. If they want something nicer, they have to come up with the money, which my now-18 year old did when she was 16. The teens now have their computers at their dad's home and not here. When they are here, they have to use mine, which is in the living room and they have to have me put in my password.

 

The rule with the four youngest boys is... you get to have an email when you are in middle school, if your behavior is good and you have good grades (no D or F). This is easy for 2 of those 4... not very easy for the other 2. When they get into 8th grade, they are allowed to use the computer for a bit of time "socially" (facebook) with the same conditions. They often have to use the computer for school projects. I am not interested in them having their own computers because two of them tend to be dishonest on a regular basis... I would let them purchase their own laptops if they had jobs and saved up for it, but I would keep the power cords at bedtimes.

[Ester Maria]

You're entirely entitled to think this way, but I wanted to let you know what our local policeman told us at a parents meeting. If something should happen to your child, having the child's password may be a life-saving issue.

 

Locally, a 12yo girl got into a fling with a man from Belgium. The parents knew and attempted to stop it. They even had the police involved. One day, the then 13 yo escaped. The police checked the Belgian, and sure enough he had just flown into the country. Having the child's password allowed the policemen to raid the hotel room where the two were hiding, before they could fly away in the morning. They were too late to stop the 'deed' though. The man did get what he came for, unfortunately... Cracking a password wastes several hours in an investigation.

online article in French

 

In this household, we all have each other's passwords (well the kids don't have the parents password, but the spouses do, and we have the kids passwords) We explained why, and the kids agree it's just safer that way.

I shouldn't have read that article, now I'm upset. :(

 

I know, I've been struggling with this issue for years... in one hand, you want to do everything you can possibly do to keep the kids SAFE, heck with too much freedom, too much freedom won't mean much if chas v'chalila something happens, and you'll be kicking your head against the wall for not having interfered with your children's internet privacy; on the other hand, you wish to respect their privacy and show them you trust them, especially if we're talking about really good kids that you have quite an open relationship with them, in a situation in which requesting their passwords or monitoring their every step might be seriously offensive to them, as they did nothing to merit that...

Ultimately, it comes down to two approaches: (i) I trust you until you give me a reason not to and (ii) I don't trust you until you give me a reason to.

 

So after wrestling with these issues since they were very small, we opted to go (i), knowing that we'll hate ourselves in something happens because of such an approach, but - so far so good (*knocks on the wood).

 

That being said, I'd still like to point that even in this terrible story, the parents knew, before she ran away, about the situation. And of course, if a kid breaks the situation (i), you switch to (ii), cut off all internet access to the kid and switch to "safety thinking" rather than "freedom thinking" - at least that was our reasoning behind it.

 

I don't know, it's always a tough question. I see your point though.

[5LittleMonkeys]

My dd11 and dd12 each have their own laptops and my dd7 and ds4 share a desktop.

[Remudamom]

Yep, courtesy of Butter my old riding horse. When I sold him a few years ago I got the four still at home their own computers. We keep them all in the schoolroom, mainly because I'd hate for them to burrow away in their rooms. When we have all the computers together we work and laugh and play together on them.

 

Everyone knows everyone's passwords around here.

[Hedgehog]

We have a desktop that's downstairs (our downstairs is open plan). Dh has his own laptop for work. We've no intention of ever allowing our dc a laptop or computer in their own rooms as we've seen the kind of trouble this can cause. Dh used to work in a company that developed computer monitoring software (specifically for chat programs, looking for aggressive/s@xual content) and our eyes were opened to some really scary stuff that goes on online.

 

I also think it could be very easy for dc to spend too much time on the computer. I believe my kids need variety in their activities/relaxation.

[Dobela]

My ds 10 has his own computer in his room. He has had one in there since he was about 8. We have loaded on it the train simulator games he adores. My computer was old and cranky (which meant the train simulator would not work properly on it) so when my dad upgraded his, we cleaned out his old one and set it up for ds.

 

He does not have internet access in his bedroom. To access the internet he has to use the family computer in the living room, and only with permission.

[5LittleMonkeys]

I shouldn't have read that article, now I'm upset. :(

 

I know, I've been struggling with this issue for years... in one hand, you want to do everything you can possibly do to keep the kids SAFE, heck with too much freedom, too much freedom won't mean much if chas v'chalila something happens, and you'll be kicking your head against the wall for not having interfered with your children's internet privacy; on the other hand, you wish to respect their privacy and show them you trust them, especially if we're talking about really good kids that you have quite an open relationship with them, in a situation in which requesting their passwords or monitoring their every step might be seriously offensive to them, as they did nothing to merit that...

Ultimately, it comes down to two approaches: (i) I trust you until you give me a reason not to and (ii) I don't trust you until you give me a reason to.

 

So after wrestling with these issues since they were very small, we opted to go (i), knowing that we'll hate ourselves in something happens because of such an approach, but - so far so good (*knocks on the wood).

 

That being said, I'd still like to point that even in this terrible story, the parents knew, before she ran away, about the situation. And of course, if a kid breaks the situation (i), you switch to (ii), cut off all internet access to the kid and switch to "safety thinking" rather than "freedom thinking" - at least that was our reasoning behind it.

 

I don't know, it's always a tough question. I see your point though.

 

We have the girls write down their passwords and keep them in sealed envelopes in a file in the office. Every couple of months I ask them to update their envelopes if they have changed their passwords. They know that we need to have them "in case". I explained that it wasn't about not trusting them. It is about respect. I respect their desire to have a password (to keep siblings out of their business) and they have to respect my desire to have access to their password if I feel I need it.

[Tammyla]

We have one main computer with internet access downstairs in the computer room and one free roaming laptop that doesn't have internet.

 

 

Dh has a work laptop with wireless at work.

[AngieW in Texas]

Sort of, but not really. How's that for a vague answer.

 

We got the oldest her own laptop for her 17th birthday.

 

We bought a netbook for all three girls to share back at Christmas (although the 17yo uses her own laptop exclusively now). The netbook is used primarily by the 12yo because the rest of us find the little keyboard frustrating.

 

We also have my desktop and my dh's desktop and the 12yo and 14yo use both of them. We plan to get each of our kids their own laptops to take away to school when they are 17yo.

[KS_]

My 11 yo and 9 yo share their own computer, but only because dh is in IT and and often ends up with people's old computers they don't want, and they don't know what to do with them. We would not have gone out and bought them their own, but I do like that I don't have to worry about them on my computer.

[Ester Maria]

We have the girls write down their passwords and keep them in sealed envelopes in a file in the office. Every couple of months I ask them to update their envelopes if they have changed their passwords. They know that we need to have them "in case". I explained that it wasn't about not trusting them. It is about respect. I respect their desire to have a password (to keep siblings out of their business) and they have to respect my desire to have access to their password if I feel I need it.

This is actually a really good approach! I would have never thought of trying something like that. Thanks for the idea. :)