Baby names (NOT one of those threads!) and older siblings

[Ester Maria]

When you're expecting and thinking of all the possible names for the new baby, WHO decides on the name? Is it mom, dad, older siblings, an obligatory name in honor of late family members?

 

Let's assume you do choose a name and don't have an automatic system of "passing" it (or that even if you have it, you add one more name of a choice), is the name of the baby ONLY the parents' choice or somebody else has a say too?

 

What about older siblings? How much weight do you give to their ideas on how the baby should be named? Do you take them into account? May the older children express their opinion, but the final choice is on the parents? Or everyone agrees?

 

How does/did it work in your home?

 

(Oh, and one more thing: For those of you who give multiple names to your children children, are all of names chosen amongst arbitrary names, or you have some kind of system (Hebrew second name, name in honor of a late relative, etc.)? How many names do your children have before their last name/s?)

[K&Rs Mom]

Ours have 2 names besides last name. I make sure we like both, in case they want to go by their middle name (as youngest is currently doing). We also consider the initials that it will create, and I don't want any first names to start with the same letter as anyone else - this is just a personal consideration because my dad & I have names starting with A, so mail addressed to "A. Lastname" was not always given to the right one.

 

Siblings can suggest, but that doesn't carry any weight - the decision is totally mom & dad's. Other people suggest also, which carries even less weight.

[mommaduck]

We consider meaning to be very important and we usually have a name come to us. No, no one else gets a say.

 

I have to admit...I wish my mama and stepdad had listened to us kids when it came to one of our younger siblings. They were going to name him "Oliver". We nixed that. They gave him a normal first name and "Clarence" for a middle name (it was a family name, but still awful we thought).

Edited June 23, 2010 by mommaduck

[sarawatsonim]

We have one on the way and are trying to pick a name. If I let my dd have her way the baby would be named Tito or Onga. So she can suggest all she wants but unless she pulls out a good one, the decision will be my dh and I (mostly me though:001_smile:)

[rwjx2khsmj]

For our youngest, the children picked middles names and then we narrowed it down to one for a boy and one for a girl. We spent lots of time discussing first names but the final decision for that was with my DH and me.

[Kalypso]

My dd15 is the one who suggested my last two's names. My dh and I liked them both, so we went with her suggestions. BUT, mom and dad always make the final decision.

[Guest]

We are doing biblical names, so if they suggest one of those, we would consider it. If not, then no. Unless it was for a middle name. If they came up with a good one, we would consider it.

[JeneralMom]

I make a list of choices and DH and I choose from them. The kids are too little to really have a say. My eldest really wanted to name our 1st daughter a name that I don't like, so unfortunately we had to crush that dream.

[Parrothead]

If a miracle were to happen I couldn't imagine not getting dd's input now at her age. She might come up with a great name that dh and I wouldn't have thought of otherwise. But I wouldn't be afraid of telling her no that we didn't like her suggestion.

 

ETA: Dd has a first, middle and last name. Her first name is Bethany. She was named after my grandmother whose name is Elizabeth Ann. We were going to go with Beth-Ann, but there was another little girl in town with that name.

Edited June 23, 2010 by Parrothead

[TheCoffeeChick]

My little brother would be named Laserbeam if my parents took the kids' suggestions!! LOL :lol:

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

I like naming babies waaaaaay too much to allow my kids to do it for me. :) Luckily dh doesn't need more input other than veto power. :)

 

My children have the standard first, middle, and last name. My first son has a Biblical (Levi), family (Levi), presidential (Jefferson), and 4-letter L name (Levi). We ended up keeping the trend for boy #2, Luke Monroe (Monroe being the family name). I had no idea I would end up with 3 boys, but we didn't want #3 to feel left out. We named him Leif Benjamin (Benjamin doing triple duty and after Benjamin Franklin rather than a president).

 

We thought we were done, but SURPRISE #4 comes along. If we had a boy, his name would have been Lachlan John (ending the 4-letter first name and John doing triple duty, again). But it's a GIRL! She's getting a 4-letter L name and her middle name is my most favorite name in the whole world, which I've waited over 10 years to use, so she'll likely be called by both first and middle since they sound really great together. No presidential, family, or Biblical name, though.

 

If I had known we'd have 3 boys in a row, I wouldn't necessarily have started the L trend....

Edited June 23, 2010 by Heidi @ Mt Hope

[May]

When I was pregnant with our youngest, my dd was convinced she was going to have a brother. We knew that it was a girl and nothing we said could change her mind. We tried to get her input on the two girl names we had picked but she wouldn't give up the idea of having a brother. She chose Kevin, which we wouldn't have chosen. She's now dating a guy named Kevin. God does have a sense of humor doesn't He:001_smile:

[AHASRADA]

In dh's culture, it is traditional for all family members (meaning ALL, extended, etc.) to offer name suggestions, then the parents decide. It sets up a nice, heart-warming situation for the person whose name is chosen (to say "I named my niece", etc.) and for the child as well ("My grandma named me".)

 

My BIL came up with ds's name, dh and I agreed on dd's name on our own, and my ds had the honor (at the age of 9) of having his name suggestion chosen for his youngest cousin.

 

So yes, dc, all relatives and friends are encouraged to offer their name suggestions, and dh and I have the final say. However, I doubt that we would choose something that our own kids or parents hated.

[lllll]

..

[hornblower]

I thought we were supposed to ask the WTM boards.......?

 

:lol:

 

 

My dd was too young to have much of an opinion about ds's name. Dh & I named him.

 

Dh & I also name all our animals though we do discuss those as a family until a name just seems right. (or more likely, until I wear everyone down & they agree to my choice :D)

 

Dd names some of our fosters, and sometimes ds helps. We had a batch of foster rats which all ended up with Apollo space program astronaut names. I always think of great names when I don't have anything to name, and then when a critter is in front of me I blank out (I usually give animals 'people' names btw)

[nukeswife]

I voted other, because my oldest was 2 when we conceived dd, and then oldest was 5 and dd was 3.5 when we conceived our youngest. Neither cared and didn't offer input. If we would decide to have more kids now that they are 11, 8.5 and almost 5 I would consider their input if they offered a name, but I just don't see my kids giving it any thought.

[lynn]

I thought we had baby boy #1 name set in stone,I was quite suprised when dh picked up a baby name book andit took him to get to the "Z" to choose one, middle name was name of dh brother who passed away in an accident.

 

Baby boy #2 just hit me when we found out we were having a boy, I like the name along with ds #1, middle name dh name.

 

BB #3, I just mentioned it one day and it stuck, dh wanted to pass on his middle name which is a grandmother's maiden name.

 

Baby girl, we went through all our favorites and one day I said I wanted a southern name for her and dh came up with her name and middlename is dh grandmother's name but it quite common.

[lynn]

One thing i learned was never to ask grandparents for naming input... I really never liked my name I use my middle name whenever i can. Mother asked nana to name me, leet me just say thankfully, I got the better of the 2 names she could not decide from. I vowed never to make that mistake. lol

[rookie]

We consider family members we would like to honor and persons of character (fiction or non-fiction) who we like as well. We share an abbreviated list with the dc. They may give their preference with the understanding that DH and I will choose. We just went through this process and one ds was not happy - until he met his new baby sister and can't say her name enough now! :)

[Dawn in OH]

Before we had Kelly in April, we asked the children for name suggestions. The reasonable ones (not Elmo and Luke Skywalker) were added to our list of names to consider.

 

They also got to give input on the names that Dad and I came up with. I had a name I really liked that my husband wasn't crazy about, and the kids campaigned really hard for that name for me.

 

In the end, my husband and I found a name that we could both live with. Kelly wasn't my first choice name, but it wasn't his either.

 

Our children all have a first and middle name. For the boys, which we never expected to have 3 of, each one has part of Dad's name for his middle name (Dad has 2 middle names). And the youngest also has Dad's first name for his first name.

Edited June 23, 2010 by Dawn in OH
distracted by children

[eternalknot]

Each of my children has a middle name and a "title" or "nickname" reflective of my ethnic culture. Because kids in my extended family tend to go by their titlename or nickname, I deferred to my husband the privilege of formally naming our older child and I let my older child (who was 4) formally name his newborn sibling. Only the government refers to either child by his formal name :D both kids are known and referred to socially by their family nicknames.

 

I guess I just don't get hung up on the naming thing, or take a great interest in the process of doing it. My kids' middle names are recycled names of grandparents, which has been family tradition for centuries. Really took no effort or thought on my part.

 

I'm curious though, - for those of you who put so much thought and consideration into choosing the right name, how would you feel (or how have you felt, if you've BTDT) upon hearing your child wanted to go by a different name?

 

Excluding formal names and their deriviatives, of course. It's not something that would bother me, but then again I didn't invest too much into choosing their names, KWIM?

[fhjmom]

It is very important to me for my children's names to have a special significance to me. DH and I have the final say but we will consider the suggestions of others.

 

DS: His first name is my paternal grandmother's maiden name, middle name is after a dear family friend that passed away the week before he was born - this honestly was the *best* name choice I made out of all my kids because the widow of that friend was also very close to our family and she is now an adopted grandmother to my children. Having my son named after her husband has helped her through her grief and given them a special bond that has been such a blessing for both of them. I never would have imagined how much giving him that name would have done but I am so glad I did!

 

DD #1: Her first name is Faith, because that was the one thing that really brought DH and I together. He middle name is a made up combination of DH's first name and my middle name that my cousin-in-law suggested. I loved it so that was what we went with.

 

DD #3: I have an older step-daughter whose name starts with a C. DS's first name starts with an F as does DD #1. I hesitated to name them both F names since step-DD was different and I didn't want her to feel not part of 'our' kids, but DH convinced me it didn't matter. Step-dd never mentioned it until we found out we were pregnant with DD #2 and she begged us not to name her an F name, too. I got to tell DH "I told you so." So in that respect a child's request did influence the name.

 

So no F name. Her first name is a shortened form of my maternal grandmother's name (Novella -> Ella) and the same 'form' as DH's grandmother's name: "E-double consanant-a" (Emma -> Ella). I wanted her middle name to be my maiden name, Joyce, but DH didn't like it, so I suggested just "J". He said he would agree to that for a middle name, but we had to spell it out. I didn't like "Jay" (to boy-ish) so we decided to spell it "Jae" since my middle name is "Rae" spelled the same way.

 

At the time, one of my kid's favorite movies was "Ella Enchanted" so they liked the name, but that wouldn't have influenced us to change it if they didn't. LOL!

 

Oh, if she would have been a boy, her name would have been "Xander" as a shortened form of my grandfather's name "Alexander".

[lllll]

..

[fhjmom]

 

I'm curious though, - for those of you who put so much thought and consideration into choosing the right name, how would you feel (or how have you felt, if you've BTDT) upon hearing your child wanted to go by a different name?

 

Excluding formal names and their deriviatives, of course. It's not something that would bother me, but then again I didn't invest too much into choosing their names, KWIM?

 

I won't lie, I think it would bother me because there is so much meaning and history behind each of their names. I have to say though I cannot imagine any of them choosing to go by a different name. The two that are old enough know the history behind their names and are very proud of that.

 

I mentioned my oldest was named after my grandmother's maiden name. Her family was instrumental in founding the city in which we still live as well as the first Protestant church west of the Trinity. He has done some research into our local and family history and loves sharing with people his ties to our community. I just can't see him ever not wanting to use that name.

 

If they ever did decide they wanted to change their name, it would have to depend on their reasons as to how hurt I would feel, but I would try to support their wishes, assuming they were adults at the time. Kids get to go by the name I gave them! :)

[Karen in CO]

For my middle dd, we gave a list of names to my ds who was 10 at the time and let him choose the name after the baby was born from the list. For the youngest, the oldest (who was 14) got an equal say with the adults in the first name, and the middle dd who was almost 4 at the time had complete autonomy over the middle name. I think they did a terrific job. My middle dd prefers her name over the other names that were on her list and the youngest loves the fact that her sister chose her name - she chose Love as the middle name btw which we didn't like at the time, but that we are used to it, it is perfect.

[shannatheshedevil]

My brother wanted to name me "Mickey Woo-Woo".

 

If/When we have another, my take is that we made it, we get to name it.

[Melissa in Australia]

We never asked the other kids. My husband and I don't decide until the baby is born, and the other kids aren't around.

[misidawnrn]

My stepDD's are 18 and 15 so it was important for us to have them participate in helping pick little DD's name. I wanted them to help so they felt apart of it, not like they were being replaced with a new stepmom, a new 4yo sister and then a new baby. We adopted DD right before our 1st anniversary. They really wanted Cooper for a boy and I would have went for that name but DH didn't really like it but would have went with it in the end I think. When we found out it was a girl we all sat around and I read names from a baby book that I liked. When I got to Sarah, my ODSD said "Hey, my dad wanted to name me Sarah but my mom wanted Megan and she won." So I asked DH if he still liked it which he did and the 3 girls all liked it...so Sarah it was!

[Crimson Wife]

My oldest wanted to name DS Samuel after DH's grandpa. DH and his grandpa had a bit of a rocky relationship (long story) so obviously that was out. But we did pick a different name that began with the letter S.

 

For #3, DS wanted "Pink" for a girl and "Green" for a boy. My oldest wanted Isabella after my grandmother Ysabel but I felt the name was too popular and DH thought it sounded too Italian.

[Sasharowan]

They get asked "what do you think about...?" and if they side with me it counts and if they side with Dad it doesn't :). Mostly as long as dh and I can agree that's what counts, but we took their opinions into consideration too.

[Ellie]

When they have their own children, they can choose the names.

[Hannah C.]

Coming at this from the other end -- my youngest sibling is 19 years younger than me, and I distinctly remember all of the older kids trying to decide on a girl's name! We use Bible names for girls, and there are a *lot* of girls in my family, so not many were left. One sister in particular was very picky about names. In retrospect, I'm sure we drove my mother crazy! My parents had the final say, of course.

 

DH and I already have about 4 guy's and 4 girl's names picked out, so chances are if we have older kids at any point who want input, they won't get any.

[clarkacademy]

For the first 3 nope. It was all me but my last baby I let my oldest name her. We talked about some names decided on a couple that we both liked but she had the final say. She named her Skyler Bay and from the day that little one was born she was that girls baby LOL. I had girl boy boy then baby girl and my oldest was so thrilled to have a living doll to play with. That baby is about to be 6 and it is so sad to see her grow knowing she is the last :(

[BakersDozen]

At first it was only dh and myself who had any input on baby names. Now I am the only one who gets to decide and who knows the name before baby is born. My dh's input on names was...well, he only came up with monosyllable boy names (Bob, Ed) or old girlfriends' names. :glare:

 

I do not consult my dc for names because for me naming a child is an honor reserved for me alone. I pray about my dc's names long before they are born or, in some cases, even conceived. I take it more seriously than my dh or dc would.

 

Now if I could just get that "perfect name" feeling with this LO I would be happy...

[Ester Maria]

What is this baby doing to me, I'm becoming a zombie with this extreme "early to bed, early to rise". It's as if she forced *her* biorhythm. :D

 

Anyhow, thank you everyone for your responses so far, it was an interesting read.

I wondered because my older two came up with their ideas on how the baby should be named, without anyone asking them, so I wondered whether that was "normal" or no. Not that they have bad suggestions, though. ;) We just find it hard to pick a Hebrew name and add something which suits it.

 

Both of our daughters have Italianized Hebrew/Biblical names, and another name as well. They actually went by their second names for a long time (since those were easy to "Anglicize" over here), but they seem to be going more towards their first names now (which I'm very happy about, as I prefer their first names :D)..

[Tress]

My 6yo dd wants to name the baby the same name as the 3yo's.

'Wouldn't it be cute, mum, to have TWO .....(insert name)?'

 

My 3yo wants to *ask* the baby his/her name.

 

:lol:

 

 

So I think it will be best if dh and I decide on the name :D.

[ChristusG]

If the kids threw a good one out there, then sure, we'd consider it. But I really love naming babies, so I'd be doing most of the deciding.

 

If DD1 had her way, then DD2 would have been named JoJo Ice Cream. Yeah, I had to veto that one. But she was only two at the time and loved JoJo's Circus.

 

My parents let my sister and I have a say in naming our youngest sister. I was 13 at the time, and my sister was 9. We really loved the show Full House. There were sisters on there named Stephanie and Michelle. So we chose the name Stephanie Michelle and my parents liked it....so that's our youngest sisters name (who is now 16). Actually, at first we wanted Angela Stephanie....good thing my parents caught the initials. Our last name started with an S. Yeah, that wouldn't have been good LOL.

 

As for us, we prefer very unique first names, followed by four letter "naturish" middle names. And no, our DD's are not really named Stitch and Boo, as listed below.

Edited June 24, 2010 by ChristusG
added something

[Peela]

I knew a kid who was called Simon by his 5 year old sister, when he was born. It wasnt the name the parents would have chosen but the sister was so adamant they went with it.

I would certianly be open to it. Why not? The sibling has a right to express and be heard. The parents get the last say.

[MamaT]

The dc are allowed to express their opinions and come up with ideas, but dh and I have the final say on names. Some names I felt strongly about, and some dh felt strongly about. He named two and I named four of our children.

 

My second son asked that my fourth son go by his middle name because he does, and so we agreed to that. None of my childrens' names start with the same letter and my girls' names cannot be mistaken for a boy's name.

 

My bf was pregnant with her fifth baby after four girls. The day of her ultrasound to discover the baby's sex, her four year old told her she didn't need to go. She knew it was a boy and his name was Sam. It was a boy and she named him Samuel. :001_smile:

[tabrizia]

I put other, my two are too young to have an input at the moment. If they are old enough when we have another then I would consider their opinions, but DH and I will have final say. As for how we name we go with a less common name that has the same first letter as a deceased relative for the first name and a Hindi middle name, since DH's Dad is from India and we wanted to keep the heritage alive.

 

That being said DS did give DD her nickname, since he couldn't pronounce her first name, and everyone uses it at this point in time when talking to and about her.

[lionfamily1999]

When you're expecting and thinking of all the possible names for the new baby, WHO decides on the name? Is it mom, dad, older siblings, an obligatory name in honor of late family members?

 

Let's assume you do choose a name and don't have an automatic system of "passing" it (or that even if you have it, you add one more name of a choice), is the name of the baby ONLY the parents' choice or somebody else has a say too?

 

What about older siblings? How much weight do you give to their ideas on how the baby should be named? Do you take them into account? May the older children express their opinion, but the final choice is on the parents? Or everyone agrees?

 

How does/did it work in your home?

 

(Oh, and one more thing: For those of you who give multiple names to your children children, are all of names chosen amongst arbitrary names, or you have some kind of system (Hebrew second name, name in honor of a late relative, etc.)? How many names do your children have before their last name/s?)

I have a system :p It wasn't implemented until after dd (she was named by my family with a vote..........). First name is an apostle(for a boy) or family name (we have lots of repeats in our families), middle name is a deceased family member. So, we have Andrew Ermil (dh's grampa) and Luke Osais (my dad's Pepe).

 

I could see letting the kids help, but I could also see loading the ballot boxes so the name I want wins :lol:

 

In this house, I name them, dh has veto power and the kids just find the whole thing fascinating.

 

If we have any more the names are already chosen and just waiting.

[Mandamom]

Dh and I just talk about names and usually manage to come up with something we both like. The kids have thrown in their suggestions -- Snowball was one that I remember :) but due to their ages there was nothing we could seriously consider.

 

When we were trying to name my youngest (in the hospital after he was born) we could not come up with a middle name. It turned out that my dh's ex-wife's dh came up with a great suggestions so we went with it. It turns out to be a nice fit.

[TXMomof4]

We use family names so there hasn't been a TON of discussion. However, I owe my oldest 2 girls a great debt. While I was pregnant with dd3 I *knew* what her name was supposed to be. DH wasn't quite so certain. The girls heard us talking about it and immediately started using that name ALL THE TIME. DH had to give in. And she and her name are a perfect match.

[Pippen]

Dh It never occurred to me to ask our other kids, they were so young at the time.

 

 

It never occured to me to ask anybody. :001_smile:

[Mommyfaithe]

Well, depends on what you mean older. For example my oldest wanted to name her baby sister (they are 3 years apart) Rainbow Beauty Heart. That was nixed, but we still enjoy the story. When she was born, she decided she didn't like her name, so decided to call her daisy...and called her that until she was 7!!!

 

Ds wanted to name our 3rd daughter. if it was a girl, he wanted Rebekah, if it was a boy he wanted Elmer Fudd. When my OB giggled, he got all indignant and insisted Emler Fudd was a good name! Well, I already had a name picked out, but I told him if we had any more girls, Rebekah would be the name. I meant it and so did dh....BUT, we ended up with 2 more boys...

 

He will name his first dd Rebekah if he has anything to do with it, but i sure hope my grandson is NOT named Elmer Fudd...good name or not.

 

 

When we had our last ds, all of the older kids gave him a name...so he has a very Loooooonnng name which he can say perfectly.

 

I always give my kids consideration and if they were very adverse to a name, I probably wouldn't use it.

 

Faithe

[Dmmetler]

There is a tradition in my husband's family of names beginning with J, so our DD's middle name had to start with J. I was named after my grandfathers (both of them) as the eldest grandchild, but by the time DD was born, there were other kids on my side of the family to carry on traditions (and in THAT generation, the eldest was male, which made it much easier). Which was good-since neither of her grandfathers had names that started with J!

 

My DD is constantly suggesting mythological names for a sibling, but I kind of doubt she'll have a little brother named Hermes Draco or sister named Athena Arachne anytime soon.

[IsabelC]

We didn't even consider asking the older sibling/s about name choices. It was only dh and I who chose. But I think that's mainly because we only have three children who were born over five years. If I had a teenage child and then had another baby, we'd probably take her/his ideas into consideration.