Is it possible to live simply today?

[Sue G in PA]

I have been doing a lot of souls searching, thinking, praying, re-evaluating, etc. lately. I live in a constant state of chaos...in my home, my mind, my relationships, etc. It isn't as bad as I am making it sound, but 90% of the time I feel extremely overwhelmed which leads to total shut-down and depression for me. We live in a community with a high percentage of Amish folk and I've been doing some reading and research on their way of life. Now, I'm not saying I am turning Amish...I love my computer WAY too much :tongue_smilie: and can't see myself raising horses and driving in a little buggy everywhere. BUT, what does appeal to me is the simple way of life. They live off the land, do not accumulate "earthly treasures", have their kids involved in every activity known to man, involve themselves with every ministry known to man, etc. Does anyone follow me? I just wonder if you think it is possible to live a fairly simply, uncluttered, contented life in this highly materialistic world where the almighty dollar is the only sign of success (to most people...please don't read into this!). I look forward to a discussion on this and ideas on how to live like this and how to get my family to get on board! Thanks!

[Guest]

I bet people who live in rural areas have a lot to say about this. I think it is more difficult in a big city, and particularly in areas with a high concentration of people who are very competitive themselves and through their kids. I have found it difficult, but not impossible, to pull away from some of this.

 

Homeschooling is the biggest help of all. It gives me time with my daughter, every day; it puts family at the center of our lives rather than relegating to the edges of whatever time is left over. It allows me to stay off the freeways and out of crowded places at peak times. When I was doing rush hour commutes twice a day I was just high strung and it took a long time to unwind from that alone. It allows me to cook at home, to make real food and to make eating a relaxed, social time rather than a race to push in something and then get back out the door or to homework or to work.

 

I gave up work as a university lecturer to homeschool my daughter, so we lost one income. This has been extremely difficult but also in the long run a push toward simpler living. We do buy a lot of books, a habit I'm trying to break, but other than that we are not big consumers. Our clothes are not handmade, but they are from garage sales, thrift stores, and other sales (except shoes). Our last car went for fifteen years before it finally cost more to repair than to buy another one. I try to grow some food, however little, in raised beds in the backyard. We haven't been on an out-of-town family vacation for four years due to lack of money, so we have to find other, local, smaller paths to feeling that we are "getting away." We have dropped nearly all outside classes; my daughter still rides, partly because that is what we do for occupational therapy right now and partly because it is her passion. But we have left off all other classes. We don't have TV (we have an old box but it only works as a DVD player), so we are not exposed to commercials and shopping channels and all that junk.

 

We don't have the community the Amish do -- which is one of the things I most admire them for; that and the outreach they do -- but we are trying to involve ourselves in communities of various kinds as my daughter grows older (she has Asperger's, so anything social is very difficult for her). She is volunteering at the riding stables where she takes lessons and has asked me to sign her up for helping with equestrian therapy for disabled kids and at the Humane Society. I taught co-op classes for a few years when she was younger and am looking for a venue for that kind of volunteering again. We're also attempting to become more involved in working for/with deaf-blind kids, as my nephew has both hearing and vision loss. My daughter has an idea about making touchy-feely books for younger children. I am actually finding these things to be the most fulfilling things we have done in a number of years.

 

But we don't do much compared to others we know, and I'm looking forward to hearing what others do, and how they move away from the mentality of competition and materialism.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

I think it's absolutely possible. I don't think we have to go back to the days before electricity. I too like my computer way too much. However, we do try to live simply, garden, and avoid clutter. It requires learning to say no. It helps having a like minded community of friends.

 

I look foward to hearing what others say but first I have to plant the peas. :glare:

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

Have you read Simple Mom's blog? I think she has really practical, realistic, and encouraging ways for the average person to live simply in all areas of their life.

[Lolly]

I think it can be done easily. The hardest part is stopping yourself from looking at what other people measure success by. Not caring what the world thinks is often difficult. If you can do that, it is a breeze.

[lionfamily1999]

There's an article about this in this month's "Virginia Home Educator."

Protecting this gift of time is our responsibility, yet it's so easy to let time stealers creep into our lives. There are never-ending opportunities for us to do more! It is the little foxes that spoil the vine. It is the many good things that keep us from the best things. How can we stop the "busyness" that steals away the time we have with our children?

 

We can stay home more. I know that seems simple, but it works. We can set priorities for our family, then make conscious decisions about outside activities. When faces with a new activity or project, we should ask ourselves, "Does this fit with the goals I have for our family? Will doing this further our children's education?"

 

If we don't bring balance to our lives, chaos will reign. We'll continue to have fussy babies napping in their car seats, irritable children arguing with each other, dishes piling up in the sink, and laundry filling every available basket. When there isn't enough time to do the basic things that need to be done, something needs to change.

 

Bringing order to our homes is possible. It means weighing our choices and creating balance in our families. Some outside activities are good. Decide which activities are valuable enough to continue. Let go of the rest without guilt.

 

I dumped out the beginning and end, but you get the idea. This is so timely for me too. Dh mentioned last night that I'm starting to overvolunteer again. He misses me, the kids (and the dishes and laundrey) miss me too.

 

We cut off the tv and found so much time and so much quiet to fill.

 

Now, I just need to stop doing stuff every where else all the time :p

[hillfarm]

Living simply can be a very complex task. If you were raising horses and riding around in buggies, your mind would be filled with thoughts of whether there would be enough rain to make adequate hay for the winter, whether or not all your mares actually conceived or not, will pests ruin your corn crop, when will dh get around to painting your good buggy and will he get it done in time for Cousin Emma's wedding, etc.

 

We live in a very rural area and I can say that life out here has forced dh and I to be able to master many more skills than when we lived in the city and to be much more aware of the weather and natural world conditions around us. I find myself running a frequent update on every living thing on our property-always checking health status, location, feed levels, relationships, and behavior of everything, including much of the plant life!

 

IMO, the best way to quiet your mind and to be able to fully experience and savor life is to develop the right boundaries for you and establish them where ever you happen to be physically located. And of course, what might seem calm to one person would drive another crazy.

 

For me, I have decided that church and 4-H activities are plenty for us, with the occasional one-shot deal festival or whatever. I don't do co-ops or sign up for lessons away from home usually. We live on dh's rather limited salary in an old farm house, nothing fancy. We live within our means--no debt to stress over. There is no keeping up with any body, for any reason at all. I have reviewed my work load and committed to doing only that which I know I can get done by the end of the day. Anything extra may just have to slide. I refuse to let others make their priorities become my priorities.

 

I think that the biggest thing for me was deciding to stop trying to achieve the impossible. I try to do the things I have committed to do to the very best of my abilities, but I rarely try to cram other things in. Regardless of how good of an opportunity they are. If something siginficantly more important or better comes along, then some existing thing will have to go. This philosophy has given me more peace than anything else other than my religious beliefs.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

I think it is definitely possible, but you also would have to be prepared for negative perceptions from others.

 

Personally, I think there is way too much "busy work" in this world, especially in the church. If you are not "involved," you are seen as not "spiritual" or "growing." I don't think that is necessarily so. In fact in some ways I can see how too much involvement can hinder growth.

 

We live simply compared to most people I know and yet I would simplify even more if I could. I see life getting simpler as the kids grow older and move out, but maybe that is wishful thinking.

 

For me simplicity includes: limiting, but not necessarily eliminating, connections to the world through television, cell phones, etc. ;practicing giving things away and reducing clutter; eating simpler whole foods; reducing time away from home; not buying into fads (even "crunchy" ones) but pondering choices for a length of time before making a decision; learning to be content with what I have if it serves me well.

 

Have you read Richard Foster's The Freedom of Simplicity?

[tonya in sc]

I think. Several years ago, mine said I had to quit everything except teaching Sunday School and one other thing of my choice. He helped me learn to say no. It got easier as time went on. As I said no, I gained time. I used that time to think about our life as a family and what I really wanted it to be. That lead to more no saying.

Our lives are still busy, especially now that the kids are teenagers. They are used to us saying no to things, though, and don't argue when we tell them they can't go to some activity because we need time together at home. It is just part of how we live our lives now.

Btw, I don't know if we can lead truly "simple" lives nowadays. I just aim for "simpler."

 

tonya

[Sherry in OH]

Have you read Your Money or Your Life? by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin?

 

You might also find some information at Alternatives for Simple Living http://www.simpleliving.org/ or at http://www.simpleliving.net/.

 

I would love to live more simply. My husband does not agree.

[Oakblossoms]

We live a pretty simple life. Our friends are always amazed. I'm an easily overwhelmed person. I'm extremely sensitive to the news. I always have been. It was my husband who realized if I watch the news it affects me. So, I really limit a lot of things like TV, news, chaos, outside activities. Two of my children are the same way, as well.

 

Since, we started living this way, I've noticed several things. We tend to be happier in general. I notice the chaos in other's lives immediately. They seem immune to it. But, then they tend to be the ones who have a ton of problems and can never figure out why things are happening. I think a lot of the present day and "American Dream" stuff is not good for us spiritually or physically. (I live in the Pacific Northwest of the U.S.).

[gracefulhome]

There's an article about this in this month's "Virginia Home Educator."

Quote:

Protecting this gift of time is our responsibility, yet it's so easy to let time stealers creep into our lives. There are never-ending opportunities for us to do more! It is the little foxes that spoil the vine. It is the many good things that keep us from the best things. How can we stop the "busyness" that steals away the time we have with our children?

 

We can stay home more. I know that seems simple, but it works. We can set priorities for our family, then make conscious decisions about outside activities. When faces with a new activity or project, we should ask ourselves, "Does this fit with the goals I have for our family? Will doing this further our children's education?"

 

If we don't bring balance to our lives, chaos will reign. We'll continue to have fussy babies napping in their car seats, irritable children arguing with each other, dishes piling up in the sink, and laundry filling every available basket. When there isn't enough time to do the basic things that need to be done, something needs to change.

 

Bringing order to our homes is possible. It means weighing our choices and creating balance in our families. Some outside activities are good. Decide which activities are valuable enough to continue. Let go of the rest without guilt.

 

Thanks for sharing this.

 

I have been reading about the life of the Amish. I am intrigued by their simple and yet, seemingly rewarding lifestyle.

 

I do think it is possible to live simply, but as everyone else has said . . . it is not easy. I agree living in the suburbs/city seems to make it more challenging. There are so many "opportunities".

 

As I have been contemplating how to slow our outside activities down, I was invited to a meeting for Classical Conversations last night. It sounds so good, but will it bring MORE into our lives instead of LESS? My wise 12 year old said to me this morning "I think it will just stress us out, not help us learn more". He is probably right.

 

I think determining family goals, figuring out our philosophy for education and life, and then examining each activity in our lives in agreement with those things will help. That is what I plan to work on this weekend.

 

HTH,

Mary in CO

[Stacia]

http://zenhabits.net/

[elegantlion]

I think it can be done easily. The hardest part is stopping yourself from looking at what other people measure success by. Not caring what the world thinks is often difficult. If you can do that, it is a breeze.

 

:iagree:

 

 

I've very careful about, like pp said, what I put into my life. I'm 42, I've had my days of taking on as much as I can handle. I don't handle stress well, I don't want to plan anymore group activities.

 

I went to the grocery today. It's Easter weekend. Ds is at the age he doesn't care about bunnies and eggs anymore. I bought strawberries for a special treat. He also got a new pair of pjs and shorts, much needed. The woman in front of me had an overflowing cart including goodies galore for Easter baskets. Great for her, seriously, but that's just not important anymore. We may give ds some money and go get some candy on Sunday or Monday when it goes on clearance.

 

We live pretty frugally but we don't garden or grow any food and we love technology. But we don't get involved in everything that's around. I know everything I buy my dh has to work physically hard for (construction). He's almost 50 and honestly I'd rather him around more than more stuff.

 

I learned a few years ago that I need things on an even keel to keep my form of sanity. We don't celebrate big for every holiday, we don't buy the latest and greatest just because.

 

Today I'm having a water gun fight with my ds. Me and him, the dog and I think I get the water hose. It's going to be great fun and was his big request. We're on spring break and on Wednesday I realized I hadn't left the house since Sunday. I finally got out yesterday. It's easier to be simple when you don't leave the house as much.

 

Got to go, Ds and I are headed out to play in the hose.

[cranberrymom]

This is a nice topic, thanks for the links.

I ponder this all the time, and then take on too much.

I long for July, when I will live simply. I just need to hold on until then.

[KristenS]

Another thought ... in looking at groups, say Amish, or Well-Trained Mind mamas, or whatever ... it's easy to look at the category as a whole and compare yourself to some ideal, rather than compare to just one person or family. I caught myself doing this in regards to another wonderful homeschool forum. I realized, not only was I trying to keep up with the Joneses, I was trying to keep up with several hundred families of Joneses! I'd distilled it all into one big ideal ... which was impossible for any one family to do. It was eye-opening.

 

I dare say there are a few stressed Amish folks out there too.

 

We have to try to minimize activities because of my own anxiety disorder issues ... but in a way, that's good for us as a family. We just recently added some extra things, and I can really feel the pressure! I don't know how these other families live with these schedules all the time! At least the big one is a short-term commitment, so that helps, but yikes!

 

My mother gives me a good reminder: "Yes, I did all those things with you when you were growing up. But I didn't do them all at once!" Some of the best and most comforting advice she's ever given me. :D I do not have her energy or stamina, but she did provide us with lots of opportunities, and I want to emulate that. She's good to remind me to pace myself.

[Gratia271]

I definitely think it is possible. It is much easier when you don't prioritize outsiders' perceptions. Many people including family members find dh and I odd because we don't prioritize money. I gave up practicing law when I had my first child which invited significant criticism from colleagues and friends. Fortunately, my husband and I are in agreement about what *we* think is important in life. We are also viewed as odd because we refuse to overschedule ourselves or our children. We have been viewed as irreligious b/c we aren't on all sorts of committees at church. I do think we have a fairly simple life. What has made it relatively easy for us is that we are not swayed by popular opinion.

[Dawn in OH]

I often comment that I want a more simple life. I do LOVE my internet access, but I can give up many other "comforts".

 

I would love to raise our own livestock, have a garden, can foods, etc.

 

And given that my car suddenly needs new tires, a cv joint replaced and an oil change, I'm not completely opposed to horses and a wagon. Ok, so maybe that's going too far.

 

But I would love for things to be more simplified, but definitely on MY terms.

[Lara in Colo]

We live simply: its called poverty!!!:D

 

Seriously, once you have a focus in life (God, school, charities ... whatever) it is easy to let the rest fall by the wayside. What others do, say or think just doesn't matter. You compare yourself to....you.

 

Lara

[Heather in the Kootenays]

http://zenhabits.net/

 

 

Thanks.

[Audrey]

I have been doing a lot of souls searching, thinking, praying, re-evaluating, etc. lately. I live in a constant state of chaos...in my home, my mind, my relationships, etc. It isn't as bad as I am making it sound, but 90% of the time I feel extremely overwhelmed which leads to total shut-down and depression for me. We live in a community with a high percentage of Amish folk and I've been doing some reading and research on their way of life. Now, I'm not saying I am turning Amish...I love my computer WAY too much :tongue_smilie: and can't see myself raising horses and driving in a little buggy everywhere. BUT, what does appeal to me is the simple way of life. They live off the land, do not accumulate "earthly treasures", have their kids involved in every activity known to man, involve themselves with every ministry known to man, etc. Does anyone follow me? I just wonder if you think it is possible to live a fairly simply, uncluttered, contented life in this highly materialistic world where the almighty dollar is the only sign of success (to most people...please don't read into this!). I look forward to a discussion on this and ideas on how to live like this and how to get my family to get on board! Thanks!

 

It's absolutely possible. What you have to do is change your mindset and decide that "things" are no longer your measure of success. And, you have to decide that even if every. single. person. around you still thinks "things" are the end-all-be-all of existence, you will not let that influence your decision to live life for the joy of it, instead of for the "things" of it.

 

You don't have to go full-Amish to live simply, either. Stop buying things you don't really need. Spend more time with the people you really love and less time with the people who stress or test you. Go outside more and go online less. Eat good, simple (real) food. Sleep as long as you really need.

 

It's not hard, and it's so wonderful for your health (mental and physical).

Edited April 2, 2010 by Audrey

[2squared]

I think the word "no" is an answer to a prayer. As in....

 

No, I'm not going to buy that.

No, I'm not going to do that.

No, I'm not going to watch that.

No, I'm not going to eat that.

No, I'm not going to worry about that.

 

 

Than, "yes" can be a happy, simple thing.

 

Yes, dear children, I will spend time with you.

Yes, dear children, I will help us to build our family relationships.

Yes, dear children, we will work hard together.

Yes, dear children, we will have fun together.

Yes, dear children, we will relax together.

 

 

We live simply and we like our uncomplicated life. I get stressed if we have more than one or two outside commitments as a family. So, we are limited to 4-H and religious ed right now. Dh works (which is unavoidable :glare:) and dd does go to public school PE & music 2x/week. That's it. We are happy. Religious ed is winding down so I will then have room for swimming lessons or field trips (but not both).

[Nestof3]

I guess I see two separate issues here. One is the focus on things and how thin you spread yourself. The other is your home, land and livelihood.

 

I think anyone can work on the former, but I personally don't desire a country life with lots of land and animals to maintain. We know people who do this and love it, but it's not the kind of life for us. Cows alone would annoy me because they have to be milked twice a day, and I don't want to have to plan to be home every day around the same time for milking. I'd much rather just buy my milk. I also don't want flies in my house. I just personally don't want to deal with buggies, animals and such. I want my minivan to get me somewhere quickly so that I can have time to do the things I want to do. I want a washer, dryer, dishwasher, etc.

 

I also want to be free to go out of town without having to get someone to watch the animals.

 

I think I can enjoy simple things just as much in the city. Nathan is perched in a tree fort listening to either Thornton Burgess or L. Frank Baum sipping pink lemonade. Ben is in the back yard building a fort with chairs, a picnic table and a tarp. Earlier, they tied up sacks of tea cups, plates and fake foods to sticks and pretended they were from The Tale of Pigling Bland.

 

We did our table work earlier today, and when the sun starts to go down, we'll do our reading. I'll workout tonight and perhaps scrapbook.

 

I limit how much my boys are involved in because I don't want to be running all over town feeling frantic and rushed. I cannot personally handle that.

[Liz CA]

Yes, check out the "Simple Living" blog. Lots of fun and useful hints.

 

For me, it comes down to taking on only what I consider essential. Taking care of my family, cultivating friendships that are healthy and finding joy in hobbies or new things to learn. The latter part was not always possible while my ds was little. I would much rather read a book any day than watch TV - we do both. I also find, paring down outside influences such as online, TV, distracting phone calls (answering machine) helps a lot.

Try to find 15 minutes a day at least to brew a cup of coffee or tea and just sit somewhere while you sip it and relax.

[Strawberry Queen]

I think it is possible but it takes considerable effort and fortitude of will. I think that we live fairly simply but it's so easy to get sucked back into things. Just the other day a Michael's flyer came and it advertised a 15% off total purchase today. I was all excited thinking about what I could buy. But, then I stopped to think. Have I used any of the things I bought a few months ago? Do I really want to go shopping on Good Friday? Once I stopped myself I could see where my greed was taking me. It took a conscious decision to say no.

 

I find it hard to do that sometimes. I find it especially hard when it comes to homeschool stuff. There are so many things to focus on. My dear friend finds other ideas that our girls can do together. But, there is a price to pay. While a co-op sounds like fun, it takes up a whole day. Swimming lessons are useful but they would take up an evening, leaving only 2 free evenings a week (not including Sat and Sun). My dh had to step in on that occasion and comment that there was no race to get through swimming lessons. So long as they are able to be safe in the water it's all good.

 

Anyhow, I digress. To live simply is possible regardless of your physical location. We have to be able to say no to good and even great things to protect our time. I didn't do half of the things my kids have done and I'm a happy adult. My kids will be fine and they are fine.:)

 

The most important thing to do is to have time together as a family so we can grow together-shared books, cooking, jokes, games, playground expeditions. Through these activities their identities and character will be anchored and this will give them a solid base to explore who they are and what their purpose in life is. That is why I do the things I do.

[TXMary2]

I have been striving for more simplicity. I keep begging my husband to do a "no TV" experiment with me and he has no desire to give up the TV. Not even for a week! I would likely miss my shows for a while, but one thing that really irks me about TV is the $75 per month - just to watch TV!!

 

I am in the process of decluttering and getting rid of things. We definitely have too many material possessions and rely on technology and convenience items. That said, I don't want to make my own soap, deodarant or detergent! LOL

[Carol in Cal.]

I have a book rec for you: Plain and Simple, by Sue Bender.

 

It describes a secular woman's fascination with the Amish, to the extent that she ends up visiting with them for weeks. It describes her life before and after that, and her reflections on their lifestyle. I think that as a starting place toward thinking about this, it is unparalleled. It's not the 'how to' of it--more the philosophy. It's very well-written, and realistic.

[Firefly]

I think "a simple life" means different things for different people-- that's the good news: it can be whatever you want it to be. And it is most definitely possible-- we are living it. For me it's not being swamped with activities, overwhelmed with "stuff" (I try to live by the words, "have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful"*) and living sustainably and in sync with nature as much as possible.

 

To get where you want to be, is really just about changing your mindset. I look at people around us who have many more "things" (both possessions and obligations), and while we could as well, I'm just not interested. We are happier and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

 

 

*can't remember who this quote is from!

[Rosie_0801]

We live simply: its called poverty!!!:D

 

 

:lol: Yep! We're, uh, blessed with that here too. It really simplifies your life. No choices to make or places to rush to when you can't afford to go out! When I was a kid, our idea of a fun trip out was to wander down to the nursery and *maybe* buy a plant, heheh. For most of dh's and my life together, doing the grocery shopping has classed as an outing!

 

Rosie

[tricia]

I think KarenAnne is right. Rural people do seem to have that difference to them. At least the ones I know. We live in the country but not sure if we live simply because of that or because we have 12 kids and that in itself seems to be the case with me. Homeschooling so many, cooking, cleaning, all that just forces you to downsize. I love living simply. I do see my friends in town and how they live and it is a stark difference from me. Again, could be the size of my family but it seems to boggle their minds that I sew clothes for my girls, grind grains into flour, make my own bread, garden, kombucha, can foods, etc. I've lived this way for so long that it seems like the "norm." I'm sure my normal conversation to people probably throws them off as it is easy to assume that everyone does the same way. Can you tell I don't get out much? I don't. I'm always home so I think I live in a bubble.

Edited April 2, 2010 by tricia

[mcconnellboys]

Yes, I do think it's possible. I also look to the Amish and Mennonites around us with some degree of envy. I would like to embrace a simpler lifestyle such as theirs....

[Mama Anna]

We've moved frequently since we got married. Each time we move, we have an opportunity to rethink our extra-familial involvement. What are our priorities? We realized this somwhere around 5 1/2 years ago and it's been a real help ever since. (It would be much harder, though possible, to change the status quo while staying in the same community.) Some of ours are:

 

Debt-free

At least one, hopefully two meals eaten as a family every day.

Never accept a ministry/responsibility/task simply in order to impress someone. (I'm still working on that one!)

Hobbies need to be productive. Sewing, embroidery, knitting, - be able to do something with your hands while you while away the time that will turn into a gift, piece of clothing, etc. I scrapbook, and that's iffy - I have to rationalize it to myself when I'm thinking strictly. Sports with expensive equipment or fees will cost you in money, time to make that money, and time away to do the sport, etc. Think car repair, carpentry, or quilting instead.

 

Remember, time is just another currency. How do you wish to spend yours?

 

It helps that we've had several chances to start over. It also helps that I don't really like to leave the house much and have a gut-type dislike of things that "everybody's doing." Which is probably why I still haven't joined the local homeschool group or any coop.

 

Just some thoughts.

 

Mama Anna

[rafiki]

.

[FO4UR]

I highly recommend reading "Simple Life." (CC)

 

Dh really liked "Simple Church" and so bought this book too. I read it right before we moved to a new state. I'm so glad I did. It's basically about actually making your priorities BE your priorities.

[catalinakel]

I have a couple of thought about living simply. First, as one prone to clinical depression, I wonder if the 'overwhelm' feelings are really poorly managed depression. Prior to my having found a medication which keeps me even keeled, I lived with alot of overwhelm, chaos and hopelessness. Medication helps me to be able to keep myself moving forward.

 

But in answer to your question: yes, it is possible to live simply. I have done it my entire adult life, both as a single person till age 35, and now as a 50 year old wife and mom. Having spent time as a hippie living communally in the woods helped, as I found out how pleasurable sharing life's simple, daily tasks with those you love can be. So I really think being home-based and home focused helps. My kids are 12 and 13, and, though they are not socially inept, they enjoy playing together at home daily and for hours on end. With legos. Truly simple living.

 

Poverty, indeed, helps. Or maybe just never having too much more than one needs to get by. When finances are limited, excursions into the big, bad exciting world are also. Again, home-based is key. But so is limiting what comes into your home. We have never paid for tv, and have never been big watchers of it, so we miss all the ads that would have us buy, buy, buy. I recycle newspaper ads that come in the mail without even looking at them unless there is some item I specifically need to find on sale.

 

We saved up for a trip to Disneyland this past week. We volunteered to earn the free tickets. It was really fun going on all the rides with our kids. And I love to shop....but I was amazed at the junk people buy. And am so happy that my kids know better than to want 'stuff,' generally speaking. So we were not sucked into the Disney vortex of spend, spend, spend, but enjoyed ourselves as a family riding rides that are fun.

 

Finally, on the Amish. The grass always looks greener there....I did a research paper on the Amish in college and found that they are quite religiously legalistic. Which may be simple, but it sure aint an easy way to live! I will take grace any day......simple living begins in the heart. It is possible. Take it easy. Every day. Love your little people(who used to say that on this board?)

[Peela]

I am always heading in the "more simple life" direction, but for me it has to be authentic for me. Its jsut a bit at time. Decluttering is form of simplifyng that I love, but that doesnt mean I wont enjoy going to garage sales, but that is our family's cheap form of entertainment and we pick up amazing, incredible bargains over he years.

I think you have to find your own priorities.

 

There is that wonderful story of filling a jar that is representative of your life (I am retelling it off the top of my head- there are better versions!). You have ping pong balls, small pebbles, gravel, sand and water to fill it with. The ping pong balls are the big things- your family, your partner, your kids. The pebbles are the important things- your job, career, passions, your health, perhaps friends. The gravel is your stuff- your home, your things. The sand is the fun things you do with your life. The water is the little day to day stuff.

Its important to put the ping pong balls in the jar first, then the pebbles etc, in order, otherwise if you fill it with sand and water (as in, put all your attention on the small stuff) the big things don't fit, and your life goes all screwy.

 

I think simplicity is just about getting our priorities right, and that is going to look a bit different for everyone because our life situations are different. If we live in the city, its not so easy to grow all our own vegetables and not buy stuff.Its hard to even not go to the supermarket. But we can prioritise nevertheless.

[lionfamily1999]

There's an article about this in this month's "Virginia Home Educator."

Quote:

Protecting this gift of time is our responsibility, yet it's so easy to let time stealers creep into our lives. There are never-ending opportunities for us to do more! It is the little foxes that spoil the vine. It is the many good things that keep us from the best things. How can we stop the "busyness" that steals away the time we have with our children?

 

We can stay home more. I know that seems simple, but it works. We can set priorities for our family, then make conscious decisions about outside activities. When faces with a new activity or project, we should ask ourselves, "Does this fit with the goals I have for our family? Will doing this further our children's education?"

 

If we don't bring balance to our lives, chaos will reign. We'll continue to have fussy babies napping in their car seats, irritable children arguing with each other, dishes piling up in the sink, and laundry filling every available basket. When there isn't enough time to do the basic things that need to be done, something needs to change.

 

Bringing order to our homes is possible. It means weighing our choices and creating balance in our families. Some outside activities are good. Decide which activities are valuable enough to continue. Let go of the rest without guilt.

 

Thanks for sharing this.

 

I have been reading about the life of the Amish. I am intrigued by their simple and yet, seemingly rewarding lifestyle.

 

I do think it is possible to live simply, but as everyone else has said . . . it is not easy. I agree living in the suburbs/city seems to make it more challenging. There are so many "opportunities".

 

As I have been contemplating how to slow our outside activities down, I was invited to a meeting for Classical Conversations last night. It sounds so good, but will it bring MORE into our lives instead of LESS? My wise 12 year old said to me this morning "I think it will just stress us out, not help us learn more". He is probably right.

 

I think determining family goals, figuring out our philosophy for education and life, and then examining each activity in our lives in agreement with those things will help. That is what I plan to work on this weekend.

 

HTH,

Mary in CO

I've also looked at the Amish with longing, but (as someone else posted) they have just as busy lives working their farms and homes.

 

It's so difficult to say "no," especially (for me) if someone needs more help. We volunteer too much. I know, there's all kinds of benefits from volunteering, but right now we're burning out. I'm learning to say, "no we can't."

[Sue G in PA]

Re: the Amish...yes they are a bit 'legalistic' in their religious views. Well, more than a bit! I couldn't adopt their lifestyle and culture completely and totally. I couldn't raise farm animals and farm for a living. I couldn't go w/out computer, car, telephone, cell phone, contact w/ outside world, etc. I suppose what I mean by living simply is just cutting back on our possessions...we have soooo much junk. We don't involve ourselves with many outside committments...sports, church and that's about it! As one pp said, I DO struggle with depression that does lend itself to my feelings of being overwhelmed. But, I also know how a chaotic environment can make even the most "normal" person feel overwhelmed, kwim? Thanks everyone for all the great replies and suggestions! I'm checking out the book recs now. And, I have been decluttering for some time now. One large trash bag of give-away toys in my dd4 and ds1's room alone. Yikes! Who knew they had so much junk? Books are another story...can't quite part with those yet. And we have a lot. Oh well...baby steps, right?

[Chris in PA]

Sue,

I know what you are saying! We are getting ready for a yard sale next week and cleaned a 13 gallon trash bag of Beanie Babies out of my ds' room.:001_huh: Unbelievable! We are decluttering one room at a time. Less is better because it is less I have to clean!

[Lolly]

Re: the Amish...yes they are a bit 'legalistic' in their religious views. Well, more than a bit! I couldn't adopt their lifestyle and culture completely and totally. I couldn't raise farm animals and farm for a living. I couldn't go w/out computer, car, telephone, cell phone, contact w/ outside world, etc. I suppose what I mean by living simply is just cutting back on our possessions...we have soooo much junk. We don't involve ourselves with many outside committments...sports, church and that's about it! As one pp said, I DO struggle with depression that does lend itself to my feelings of being overwhelmed. But, I also know how a chaotic environment can make even the most "normal" person feel overwhelmed, kwim? Thanks everyone for all the great replies and suggestions! I'm checking out the book recs now. And, I have been decluttering for some time now. One large trash bag of give-away toys in my dd4 and ds1's room alone. Yikes! Who knew they had so much junk? Books are another story...can't quite part with those yet. And we have a lot. Oh well...baby steps, right?

 

Books? Leaving? :svengo: I can't bear to think it!!!

 

They are my one clutter item. I admit it; I have a problem.:lol:

[Sputterduck]

We live very simply here. :)

[justamouse]

Sue,

I know what you are saying! We are getting ready for a yard sale next week and cleaned a 13 gallon trash bag of Beanie Babies out of my ds' room.:001_huh: Unbelievable! We are decluttering one room at a time. Less is better because it is less I have to clean!

 

UGH Beanie Babies! Stuffed animals are the scourge of the earth.

[peacefully]

.

[TammyinTN]

I'm definitely learning the art of living more simply. I've been purging large amounts of stuff we don't need. I see what a toll this takes on me with my need to always keep things clean and in order. It takes a lot of time to have stuff. It takes away from my family time, which I'm no longer willing to sacrifice.

[chiguirre]

I suppose what I mean by living simply is just cutting back on our possessions...we have soooo much junk. We don't involve ourselves with many outside committments...sports, church and that's about it! As one pp said, I DO struggle with depression that does lend itself to my feelings of being overwhelmed. But, I also know how a chaotic environment can make even the most "normal" person feel overwhelmed, kwim?

 

Do you really have sooo much junk, or do you just have an average (or even below average) amount of junk times 7 kids? The sheer volume of people in your house makes for a lot of junk and chaos, but that's unavoidable given your circumstances. Can you carve out a small, clutter-free space that's just for you? That might help center you when the rest of the house is wall-to-wall toys and people. I hope you find some peace and order.

[LibraryLover]

I don't think it was ever possible to live 'simply'.

 

I do think it is possible to live mindfully.

[Sue G in PA]

Julianna, we don't have an enormous amount of "junk". I guess what I should say is what you did say...we just have an average amount of stuff x9 (7 kids, 2 adults). However, my children do have a TON of toys and I would say about 1/2 doesn't get used on a daily or even weekly or monthly basis. We are culling toys now. They each get to pick their 5 favorite toys or "sets of toys" (i.e. Legos, K'nex, Lincoln Logs, etc.). We are limited TV exposure and video game time much to their dismay. Sports involvement will be limited to ONE sport each year b/c I simply do not have it in me to be running all.year.long. Luckily, the boys all like basketball or baseball. My dd swims and looks like little dd will likely be our soccer player. Anyway, it isn't EASY to live simply...as a pp said. However, I do believe that less clutter (physical and mind clutter) will help alleviate my stress and some depression.

[chiguirre]

We are culling toys now.

 

Just don't cull things the next kid will like. Ask me how I know. There is nothing more frustrating than having to rebuy toys that you had and that were in good shape. Maybe you could just put any toy that's in good shape in storage bins and "shop" from there for the younger kids. Even the same kid might be very excited by a toy they haven't seen for a few months.

[Wildiris]

It is true, I am a post killer. Many times I am the last post no one reads.

 

Here Goes:

Do you remember that bumper sticker~

Live Simply So Others May Simply Live

 

Dear Loved One and I live simply for years before children (b.c.). For a time we managed to maintain our austere lifestyle before becoming overwhelmed by the chaos of life with kids.

 

To give you an idea of how much we were able to live without~ when we went traveling b.c. each of us had a small day pack, smaller than the average high school student now uses to cart textbooks around, that we lived out of for six months at a time. We reasoned that small packs could be carry-on and we would avoid the luggage carousel at the end of a plane ride. The packs would easily stow at our feet on long public bus rides and what more did we really need to carry around.

 

The simple life now is not so simple. However we do without many creature comforts others take for granted. If we don't have it at home we do not make a special trip into town to get it. We improvise. We have on demand hot water heaters. They broke. For years I heated water on the stove in a large tea kettle to wash dishes. There is a rhythm to washing dishes this way, and when the hot water heaters quit I was back to the tea kettle. My rhythm was off for days.

I always ask myself if I need what ever my want might be at that moment. More often than not I realize how frivolous those desires are. Kids have a harder time doing without.

 

Back to your original topic : Is it possible to live simply today? Yes. One can always live with less. More is not always better. If I had to do it today I could probably manage to trim down my life to the essentials and live out of a backpack, and I think my kids could too. I always felt to carry only what you needed was a special kind of freedom few of us get to enjoy.

[BikeBookBread]

I think it can be done easily. The hardest part is stopping yourself from looking at what other people measure success by. Not caring what the world thinks is often difficult. If you can do that, it is a breeze.

 

:iagree: Very well put.

 

We cut our possessions by 1/3 when we moved from North Dakota to The Desert; we held the biggest garage sale the Base had ever seen (so they say :) ). It was very easy to do this in ND where the drive for excess didn't seem to be as in-your-face as it is here in the Big City; it's going to be EVEN HARDER when we move to the East Coast this summer. When we get the gimmes, we remind ourselves of our North Dakota Mindset (as we dubbed it). Sometimes you just have to be purposeful and mindful.

 

Here in The Desert, we got rid of our cable, our huge cell phone plans (we do pay as you go and use our phones very sparingly), DH bike commutes about 20 miles a day to and from work, etc... we're FAR from simple as some people deem simple to be, but I think we're content and hoping to continue our downsizing.