No parents allowed in treatment area

[joannqn]

Why do doctors and dentists adopt this policy?

 

We've been going to our pediatric dentist for about 8 years. We've been really happy with him. He tries his hardest to make dental visits as caring and not scary as possible for the kids. He'll take the least invasive measure possible and postpone more difficult treatment until the child is older whenever possible. And now he decides to go off and begin teaching at the university.

 

So, he passes off his practice to another dentist. We tried her out about a month or two ago. Everything went fine, except my daughter had two very loose molars that needed to come out. They had been loose for about a year, they were hollow because they had been loose so long, the permanent teeth were erupting under them, etc. She said my daughter should wiggle them and get them out in two weeks or we should come back so they can help get them out. Well, my daughter is the overly sensitive fearful type who didn't wiggle and wouldn't let us anywhere near her teeth.

 

So, we went back today to get the teeth removed and were informed of the new policy. No parents in the treatment area. Dr. Kenny allowed parents but the new dentist feels it is best if the parents stayed in the waiting room. Kids respond better and more calmly if the parents aren't in the room...blah, blah, blah. Uh, huh. Yeah. That's what you said when we first started coming. I said, "Go ahead and try." My DD screamed bloody murder on them and they came running back for me. I've been in the treatment room ever since. New dentist didn't budge. Besides, that was years ago; she's 10 now. Yeah, well, she was crying from the moment her bottom hit the chair, before they even approached her. She cries at every appointment. She does not want to return to this dentist if I can't be there with her. (And just so you know, me being there has never gotten her out of treatment. If anything, I tell them to go ahead with treatment when the dentist is willing to postpone.)

 

So, now we need to find a new dentist.

 

I hate that policy. I don't understand why some doctor's choose it, or why they won't budge for those fearful patients who need additional security.

[mommaduck]

I walked out of a dental office once over this issue. My child was 4 or 5, they did not inform me of this policy over the phone, and the treatment area was out of sight and sound of the waiting room.

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

I wont do it! They can not force you out and if they try find another! My kids do better with me. I dont want my kids by a man they hardly know alone! Not going to happen in todays world!!!!

[newlifemom]

I agree. My dentist wanted me out of the room for each of my kids. Well, ds hadn't been to a dentist since a horrific tooth extraction where restraints had to be used. I informed them, in no uncertain terms that I would be in the room the entire time. They relented and we had a very pleasant experience. That was over a year ago and he now goes in alone. However, I still go in when the dentist examines his teeth. Otherwise I cannot talk about questions and concerns. A seven year old isn't going to. :001_huh: Plus I am in the entire time my littlest is in there. She just turned 4 for goodness sakes. This past visit was the first one where they actually were able to polish her teeth.

[hsbaby]

Ours has a similar policy....no parents in treatment area after age 5 or so. It really bothers some local moms I know. I've never thought anything about it, to be honest. My mom never came back with me so I never even thought about hanging out back there with mine (especially since I usually have my other kids in tow!). But, if my child were fearful and screaming i'm sure I would hope for some leniency in their policies. Fortunately they actually like going to the dentist!

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

My dentist allows me and I would not stand for this since as a nurse I was trained that you should have the parents there:001_huh:

[KS_]

I won't take my kids to a dentist (or orthodontist) that won't allow me to be with them. Our dentist office has a pediatric area, but when we found out they don't allow parents to be with the kids, we just started taking them to our regular dentist.

[Sputterduck]

I don't get it either. And I refuse to go to a dentist that does that. My son had to go under general anesthesia once, as a 1 year old, because his teeth didn't form right.

 

When picking out a dentist, we went to one place and I insisted they let me go back with him. It was not their policy and they were really against it, but they relented. After all, he was only 1! You couldn't hear the treatment rooms from the waiting room, but when you went in back you sure could. There was a child in a room screaming like a dying animal. It was very scary to hear. I've heard lots of children scream for various reasons, but never like that child did. She was clearly in much pain. This particular place didn't believe in any anesthesia besides a local shot (no gas, no IV anything, even for the very tiny patients like my son) and they just hold them down and do the work. They told her parents after that everything was great (with a big smile). I'm sure they'll never know what it was like for her. We left and never went back. That place really scared me. But we ended up with a woooonderful dentist who closed her office and hired a pediatric anesthesiologist for my baby. They were gentle and kind and gave my son the best experience they could.

 

Btw, not that long ago there was a little girl who's arm was broken at a dentist who didn't let parents back with the kids!

[joannqn]

In this practice the treatment room is one big room with 5 chairs and only a small dividing wall between each. Most of the chairs can be seen from the lobby; the door between the two areas isn't closed usually.

 

I wouldn't have an issue with it if my kids didn't care. My oldest son would be fine. My 3 year old is fine with the dentist but I think he might be harder to handle without me there. It's my daughter who has issues. She's always been sensitive like this. She cries at every dentist appointment, every doctor appointment, every swimming lesson, every time she sees a spider or bee/wasp, and more...and talking to her about it logically and rationally doesn't help. In fact, trying to talk to her about these things makes her cry. It's just the way she is, but it doesn't get her out of things. At 10, she is only a little better than she was when she was 4...meaning she cries but doesn't scream.

Edited March 12, 2010 by joannqn

[Jenny in Atl]

I was asked to leave the room yesterday, at the pediatrician's, so she could give my 14 year-old the "talk" separate from my 9 year-old. LOL! I sat there in the hall with Fi singing Ian Durry's song, Sex and Drugs and Rock & Roll... I was amused, but I could see other parents would be very put off by this.

 

Obviously, this (new to us) doctor knows nothing of our family dynamic. When she talked about saying no to booze, Mac laughed and told her as one with Celiac, most liquor (beer & grain alcohol) is out of the question for her already, and it's not like kids are going to bring a nice bottle of red wine to a party. She said the doctor just gave her a blank stare, and said, "You never know."

 

Clueless, this woman was, just clueless.

[hillfarm]

Our orthodontist's office tried the same thing with me. I told them to go ahead and cancel the appointment and that we would go elsewhere. They stated that it is their policy to not allow parents into treatments areas. I stated that it is my policy that my (then) 8yo never received any type of treatment apart from my presence and that we could either resolve this my way or we were done. They gave in. Now they have her chart marked that we have to be seen in a private treatment room. They did warn me that we might have to sometimes wait a bit before the room was available and I told them that was fine. In fact, we have never had to wait for the room.

 

At 8yo, my dd did not have the strength of will to be able to tell an adult to stop hurting her, especially in a dental situation. She had no sense of what was appropriate and not in a dental setting. And if they want my money then they will have to accept MY policy.

[swellmomma]

I would not stand for it. The dentist we go to has 1 big open room, with the chairs in little cubicle like areas. Not only do I go in with the kids, but I free walk from cubicle to cubicle between the kids making sure everyone is doing okay, holding hands when needed etc. I don't know what the policy is in general, but I tend to act like I own the joint lol I do know the dentist has said a few times he appreciates me coming in with the older ones, because due to their extra issues they can be difficult to work with. I am there to support the kids through the cleaning/checking/procedure but also don't put up with their dramatics, so I will tell them to open their mouth fully or I help them hold it open, I talk them through the procedures to keep them calm etc. The dentist is good in including me in the treatment plan by showing me exactly what he is doing where. So he has me looking in the kids mouths at specific issues or non-issues as we go so that I can then talk the kids through it. If they suddenly switched to a policy that didn't allow this I would first see if they would actually enforce it, by simply doing what I already do, and if so I would find a new dentist.

 

Would your dentist actually force you away from the chair side if you went with your child? I don't think they actually can since the child is a minor, so I say do what is right for your kids. If you son is fine without you send himin alone but go with your daughter.

 

We go back to the dentist next month for all the kids to have cleanings and checkups, and for the dentist to see how the kdis spacers are doing. I will have to ask if they have a specific policy that I have been walking all over(not that I would change it), or not.

 

So you can simply go back with your child, I can't see them physically removing you, find a new dentist or follow their policy.

 

As for doctor's until my kid asks me not to be in the room with them I will be there, whether the doctor likes it or not. The only time I have not been right with my kids for treatment, was wehn dd went for dental surgery, I was with her until she was knocked out and then she was off to the operating room. THey did not get me to come to recovery before she woke up and she just about did a nose-dive off the bed, and ripped her IV out. They came running for me then. Heck even for things like xrays I tell them to give me the apron, I am not leaving my kid's side, those are typically done without parents in there either, but like everywhere else if it comes to my kids, I make the "rules" suit me ;)

Edited March 12, 2010 by swellmomma

[sparrow]

Wow. I guess I had no idea some dentists held such policies! This makes me feel very fortunate with our dentist and orthodontist. Both have chairs, or stools, for a parent to sit in the room.

 

I'd find a new dentist, too! Sheesh :glare:.

[Sputterduck]

I was asked to leave the room yesterday, at the pediatrician's, so she could give my 14 year-old the "talk" separate from my 9 year-old. LOL! I sat there in the hall with Fi singing Ian Durry's song, Sex and Drugs and Rock & Roll... I was amused, but I could see other parents would be very put off by this.

 

Obviously, this (new to us) doctor knows nothing of our family dynamic. When she talked about saying no to booze, Mac laughed and told her as one with Celiac, most liquor (beer & grain alcohol) is out of the question for her already, and it's not like kids are going to bring a nice bottle of red wine to a party. She said the doctor just gave her a blank stare, and said, "You never know."

 

Clueless, this woman was, just clueless.

 

Oh man. I hated the "talk" with my ped! I was like... 11? He asked me if I was having sex and I was floored and really embarrassed! I know some kids are doing that at that age. But I was very innocent and went to a very sheltered, very small school where that stuff was just not happening. That year in school a girl kissed a boy and it was a huge scandal. And that was just a kiss. Sex was so far from my mind at that age, I didn't know how to react to the ped. He went on to have that talk with me a couple more times until he realized that I'm just not that kind of kid. I think by 14 he'd stop asking me. lol

[TravelingChris]

My daughters go into the dentist alone but they don't care. On the other hand, they refuse to go to most doctors alone. They don't want any talk. SInce we aren't seeing the military doctors anymore, we aren't getting stupid talks and stupid questions anymore. ALl of my girls's doctors understand their positions and don't intrude on that.

[Harriet Vane]

I left a pediodontist over this policy. This policy makes me absolutely livid. Who do they think they are? There is NO WAY I will ever send a vulnerable child alone to have ANY procedure done, period. The adult dentist can deal with it.

[Laurie4b]

Why do doctors and dentists adopt this policy?

 

We've been going to our pediatric dentist for about 8 years. We've been really happy with him. He tries his hardest to make dental visits as caring and not scary as possible for the kids. He'll take the least invasive measure possible and postpone more difficult treatment until the child is older whenever possible. And now he decides to go off and begin teaching at the university.

 

So, he passes off his practice to another dentist. We tried her out about a month or two ago. Everything went fine, except my daughter had two very loose molars that needed to come out. They had been loose for about a year, they were hollow because they had been loose so long, the permanent teeth were erupting under them, etc. She said my daughter should wiggle them and get them out in two weeks or we should come back so they can help get them out. Well, my daughter is the overly sensitive fearful type who didn't wiggle and wouldn't let us anywhere near her teeth.

 

So, we went back today to get the teeth removed and were informed of the new policy. No parents in the treatment area. Dr. Kenny allowed parents but the new dentist feels it is best if the parents stayed in the waiting room. Kids respond better and more calmly if the parents aren't in the room...blah, blah, blah. Uh, huh. Yeah. That's what you said when we first started coming. I said, "Go ahead and try." My DD screamed bloody murder on them and they came running back for me. I've been in the treatment room ever since. New dentist didn't budge. Besides, that was years ago; she's 10 now. Yeah, well, she was crying from the moment her bottom hit the chair, before they even approached her. She cries at every appointment. She does not want to return to this dentist if I can't be there with her. (And just so you know, me being there has never gotten her out of treatment. If anything, I tell them to go ahead with treatment when the dentist is willing to postpone.)

 

So, now we need to find a new dentist.

 

I hate that policy. I don't understand why some doctor's choose it, or why they won't budge for those fearful patients who need additional security.

 

I refused to go to dentists with those policies. The first one we went to, I was on the "tour" and I saw him go from one patient to another without changing his gloves. NOPE. Not gonna let a kid be treated there alone.

 

Then I tried another one who didn't say I couldn't be there, but while I was talking with the dentist, the asst. came and took my 4 year old (who had sensory issues though I didn't know it at the time) into get an x-ray. I thought, "Well...okay." Then the screaming started. She couldn't get the x-ray done without the "hovering mama" and had gotten him so worked up I could hardly get him to accept it at that point.

 

I have found it to be a "superior to parents" point of view in most cases.

[melmichigan]

Most of mine now go back alone, but I stroll in and out since we all go as a family and just make a morning of it. :) I would not go to a dentist or doctor with that policy, your child is a minor under your care. If they won't relent then I would be sure to make it plain why you are leaving when you sign for a release of records to the new dentist.

[Laurie]

I can understand why it's easier to have the patient-only policy in place. If there are siblings coming along for the appointment, too, then there's the risk of somebody getting hurt. If the parent is trying to support the child in the chair then he/she may be distracted and unable to properly supervise little ones who might end up bumping into the dentist and hurting the child in the chair as a result. Or they could get hurt themselves or just create too much of a distraction.

[Dawn in OH]

It is my policy not to leave my young children alone with people I hardly know. I don't feel that a dentist is someone I know well enough to leave my children alone with at their current ages. My Mom was always able to come in with me until I told her I was comfortable seeing the dentist alone.

 

I recently needed to find a new dentist and made it quite clear that I expected to be permitted in the treatment area or I would continuing looking for a dentist. The receptionist tried to tell me "Well we don't strap them down like some dentists offices, they will be fine."

[HRAAB]

I would find a new dentist right away. Occasionally my older dd (15 and up) has gone in alone so I can be with her younger sister. I still insist they check with me before they schedule any work. After all, I'm responsible.

[melissel]

They told her parents after that everything was great (with a big smile). I'm sure they'll never know what it was like for her. We left and never went back. That place really scared me.

 

That is horrifying! I don't think I could have held myself back from informing those parents of what I heard, explaining to the office in minute detail why they were losing my business, and reporting them on every dental Web site and better business office that I could. That has got to be criminal.

 

And I've never understood the policy either. I wasn't thrilled with the adult service at our old dental office, but I don't have a word to say against their peds services. My kids love going to the dentist, they'll book us private rooms if I just tell them upfront so I can come in, they're happy and chatty with me when I'm in there, etc. I can see how some kids might behave better or be less anxious without mom in with them, but like you said, Joann, why wouldn't they be flexible with kids who OBVIOUSLY need the extra reassurance??? No dentist or doctor with that policy will ever get a penny of my money.

[melissel]

I can understand why it's easier to have the patient-only policy in place. If there are siblings coming along for the appointment, too, then there's the risk of somebody getting hurt. If the parent is trying to support the child in the chair then he/she may be distracted and unable to properly supervise little ones who might end up bumping into the dentist and hurting the child in the chair as a result. Or they could get hurt themselves or just create too much of a distraction.

 

Yes, but that's a completely different policy. For a dentist to refuse to allow a parent in with a clearly distressed child is...sick. What kind of person holds down a terrified, screaming child and forces dental work on them, when all it takes is a parent standing beside, reassuring them and holding their hand?

[Mermaid Mama]

I personally wouldn't trust any doctor/dentist/nurse/whatever who couldn't practice their medicine on my child with me in the room. It just ain't gonna ever happen that way!!! (Until of course they are older).

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I can understand why it's easier to have the patient-only policy in place. If there are siblings coming along for the appointment, too, then there's the risk of somebody getting hurt. If the parent is trying to support the child in the chair then he/she may be distracted and unable to properly supervise little ones who might end up bumping into the dentist and hurting the child in the chair as a result. Or they could get hurt themselves or just create too much of a distraction.

 

I can understand not having other siblings since that may pose a problem. As a nurse, I have always dealt with just the parents and not siblings when taking care of children. I do think that a parent should be allowed without question until a child is a least a teenager since it is recommended in nursing and medical circles.

[WiseOwlKnits]

And if they want my money then they will have to accept MY policy.

 

:iagree: I won't see a dentist who won't let me go back with my children. It took me calling 10 dentists to find one, but we did and I LOVE him!! Heck, *I'd* go to him if he'd let me (he's a ped. dentist).

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

My dentist allows me and I would not stand for this since as a nurse I was trained that you should have the parents there:001_huh:

:iagree: Yup, what she said.

 

 

ETA: anyone under 18 we are legally not able to prevent a parent from being with the kid in the room 24/7 (not in surgery, but in recovery and in ICU, IMCU or Med-Surg rooms)

[Mermaid Mama]

RN here as well and the only time I would ask for privacy is if I were doing something that could be embarrassing for my ADULT patient (i.e. a cath insertion).

[3and3]

I would be switching esp after what has in this area.

A DR is being charged with lots of assult charges after he was taking his young patients to get " special treats" after a visit w/out parents being present. Never can be too careful!

 

He was a Pediatrician in the area for years.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

:iagree: Yup, what she said.

 

 

ETA: anyone under 18 we are legally not able to prevent a parent from being with the kid in the room 24/7 (not in surgery, but in recovery and in ICU, IMCU or Med-Surg rooms)

 

Exactly:iagree:

[Annie Laurie]

Most of mine now go back alone, but I stroll in and out since we all go as a family and just make a morning of it. :) I would not go to a dentist or doctor with that policy, your child is a minor under your care. If they won't relent then I would be sure to make it plain why you are leaving when you sign for a release of records to the new dentist.

 

We just go as a family too and get it done for everyone at once. So my kids have ended up going back alone when I'm with the dentist and the hygienist calls them. But when they were younger and nervous, I went with them, and I would go with them now if asked. But they love going to the dentist and don't ask me to go with them. Our dentist is fine with dh or I back there, I would have a problem with a dentist that had the policy that we couldn't go back.

 

I'm rather hyper about this issue because 1) I still remember being three and taken to the ER for a big gash on my cheek and them not allowing my mom back with me while they stitched me up. I screamed the entire time and would have been calmer if they'd just let my mom back with me. I resented my mom for not insisting and felt abandoned. 2) I had a mean dentist as a kid and parents weren't allowed in back. He was impatient, condescending, and rough. I have a fear of the dentist to this day, which I have worked hard not to pass on to my kids. I have to fake it everytime I go.

[joannqn]

The dentist is good in including me in the treatment plan by showing me exactly what he is doing where. So he has me looking in the kids mouths at specific issues or non-issues as we go so that I can then talk the kids through it.

 

The old dentist did this, too. And this reminded me of something else the new dentist did. We were there to pull two very loose teeth. While she were doing that, she saw another molar right behind one of them was loose, so she pulled that one too. I didn't know about it until after it was out even though I was in the treatment area. The old dentist would have said something first. I would have consented as it saves us a trip later. It was obviously ready to come out because it had no roots, but she didn't ask, or even mention it, first.

 

There's no question about finding a new dentist. They kind of hedged on the possibility of us using the private room, but I still won't take my kids back.

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

When I was a kid the dentist slapped me and called me a baby for crying. I have issues with dentists. I try not to pass those on to my kids, but I do go back with them. The one (and only) time dh took one of the kids to the dentist for a filling, he let the kid go back alone and the kid came out with a $500 crown on a baby tooth. See, I would have been there to question whether or not the crown was really needed, options, etc.

 

My oldest is 10 and I've been letting him go back alone for cleanings for about 2 years now. He is confident about it, mature, and very aware of personal boundaries. Most of the time, though, when the cleaning is over, the front desk gal will poke her head out and ask me to go back while the dentist examines son's teeth. That way the dentist can "lecture" me about the importance of brushing and point out any other issues.

 

I feel for those of you with multiple children and no option but to take all at once to the dentist. It is a difficult situation to know one child needs you in the back room, but also know others need you in the waiting room.

[2cents]

Our pediatric dentist had a no parents in treatment area policy. When the children only had simple cleanings I was ok with it. But when it came to a small filling they wanted to administer the gas. I told them no and requested to come back to observe and they refused and tried to get me to sign a form that would allow the gas 'if needed'. I refused. I found another dentist who has a open door policy and also is against giving the gas to children.

[Tap]

The old dentist did this, too. And this reminded me of something else the new dentist did. We were there to pull two very loose teeth. While she were doing that, she saw another molar right behind one of them was loose, so she pulled that one too. I didn't know about it until after it was out even though I was in the treatment area. The old dentist would have said something first. I would have consented as it saves us a trip later. It was obviously ready to come out because it had no roots, but she didn't ask, or even mention it, first.

 

There's no question about finding a new dentist. They kind of hedged on the possibility of us using the private room, but I still won't take my kids back.

 

Oh man, you have to make this post right when I am deciding on a new dentist.....:willy_nilly: We have a great dentist, he asks me approve Every little detail (including fluoride), we love him and his team. We all get our cleanings done on the same day so we are lined up in chairs together and then I can stand and chat/watch as they finish the kids. He doesn't do an x-ray unless there is a reason, and gives us multiple options for every issue. We really love him.

 

But he stopped taking our insurance. So, now it will be about $500 a year for our cleanings and exams for 5 people, because my insurance will only pay 1/2 of the bill and future work is only paid at 50%. If I switch to one who takes our insurance...it is all free and I will pay 80% of any dental work.

 

To offset the difference, he has offered to let me 'bank' any payment to him and use it towards dd11's braces in the future. But, I know he has a bad back and I worry about having a credit I won't get the chance to use if he closes up shop or we move (etc.) before we do the braces.

 

 

Now, I don't want to leave all over again...:001_unsure:

[keptwoman]

Most of mine now go back alone, but I stroll in and out since we all go as a family and just make a morning of it. :) I would not go to a dentist or doctor with that policy, your child is a minor under your care. If they won't relent then I would be sure to make it plain why you are leaving when you sign for a release of records to the new dentist.

Same here.

When I was a kid I had lots of horrible medical procedures, and then I broke my tooth and had many hours in the dentists chair. Mum was sent out for some of the medical stuff but the dentist never sent her out, I vowed and declared that I would NEVER leave my child alone for any kind of medical or dental procedure if they need or want me there. I did have to relent when J was in NICU and we were making the doctor sticking a needle in nervous, it was easier on J that time to leave and let the doc get it done quick, but most of the time if I can't stay then my kids don't either!

[TCB]

The thought of my kids being seen by Dr or dentist without me just horrifies me. No way I could do it. I'm from England and never came across anything like that their so could not believe it when a friend in USA told me she couldn't go in to the dentist with her kids.

I really don't get their reasoning. OK some parents may be stressed out and potentially make a situation worse but I'm pretty sure most would be a help not a hindrance.

I'm an RN (not pediatrics) and If the patient wants it I really don't have a problem with having someone in the room whatever.

[Sputterduck]

Our pediatric dentist had a no parents in treatment area policy. When the children only had simple cleanings I was ok with it. But when it came to a small filling they wanted to administer the gas. I told them no and requested to come back to observe and they refused and tried to get me to sign a form that would allow the gas 'if needed'. I refused. I found another dentist who has a open door policy and also is against giving the gas to children.

 

 

What does he do for very small children who won't understand why the dentist is prying their mouth open and possibly hurting them? Just curious.

[cathmom]

I would be switching esp after what has in this area.

A DR is being charged with lots of assult charges after he was taking his young patients to get " special treats" after a visit w/out parents being present. Never can be too careful!

 

He was a Pediatrician in the area for years.

 

Is that how he managed to do that??? I heard a report about this (I'm assuming it's the same case) and I was like, how did he get so many children alone????

[Mejane]

No way would I patronize a doctor who would have a problem with me staying with my young children. There are too many others who could use my business.

[Joanne]

It is a very common policy.

 

I guess I'll be the voice of dissention.

 

I hate that policy. I don't understand why some doctor's choose it, or why they won't budge for those fearful patients who need additional security.

 

I completely understand the policy. Maybe it comes from having owned a daycare and knowing how parents can hinder and not help in situations.

 

I'm not defending the policy, exactly. I just can see the other side. My (student) dentist talks about horror stories -frequent- about parents and kids in the clinic.

[klmama]

When we started at our current dentist, it was obvious they expected the parents to wait in the waiting room. I didn't. I just followed them back and planted the other dc in specific spots along the wall. Now, when they see us, they smile, wheel in a few extra chairs, and chit chat with us all while they work. I've never seen any other parents back there, though.

[QueenCat]

Mine are older now but I don't think I'd have gone for not going back if dc wanted me there. Our current dentist allows parents but not siblings. Very strict on no siblings as there really is not the space for all the extra people. Awesome staff, and not an issue for us at this point in our lives.

[Big Buckin' Longhorn]

I can't believe you posted this today. My son went to the dentist today. I went back, not even knowing they had this policy, because I assumed that at a family dental practice, they allow families.

 

The nurse asked me to wait in the lobby. I said, "No, thank you, I'd like to stay in the exam room." So she left and came back a few minutes later and said, "I really need you to wait in the lobby."

 

So I picked up my purse and went into the hall and asked the dentist, who was standing there chatting with several other nurses at the front desk in full view of the other families in the waiting room, "What do you intend to do to my son that you don't want me to see?" He hemmed and hawed for a few seconds and then just asked the nurse to wheel in another chair. It was that simple.

 

And the thing is, he's a good dentist and I think everyone benefited from the visit. As he examined my son's teeth, he pointed out problem spots, ran his suggestions by me, etc . . . I can't even imagine what the heck all the fuss was about.

 

I think that medical professionals get a little too big for their britches sometimes and forget that Mama Bear trumps their advanced degrees every. single. time.

 

I don't think they'll try that me with on my next visit.

 

I don't care how old my son is. If they are asking me for $1500, then I need to know EXACTLY why they want it.

[ChristusG]

I called around different pediatric dentist offices and asked that exact question. I KNOW my kid, the dentist doesn't. I know whether she functions better with me or without me being in the room. My 5 year old most definitely functions better with me there. She has selective mutism. She wouldn't utter a word to the dentist. She would literally cry and cry and cry and the dentist would not get a single thing done. If our current dentist ever changes their policy, I'd be finding another place.

[courtney.byrum]

No way would I go to a dentist (or dr) where parents aren't allowed in the room. When my kids don't want me in there I'll be fine with it but to tell me I can't be there if they want/need me would not fly.

 

Their dentist has a big open room (with chairs along the wall for parents/siblings) that the tables are in (only one chair mostly flat tables that seem way better for little kids).

 

I even was in the room when he had his 2 teeth pulled last month. They are very good with the kids and my kids are excellent patients because of the way they are treated. Had I not been allowed back with them when they started they would not have been good patients at all!

 

 

My dad was a dentist and I don't recall him ever not allowing parents to be in the room if they wanted to be.

Edited March 13, 2010 by CourtneyB

[OnTheBrink]

When I was a dental assistant, our office had this policy. It was a small office, the exam rooms were small and there just wasn't room for extra people. However, parents could stand in the door of the room. They could see everything and the kids could see their parents.

 

Something I noticed, though: about 80% of the "scared" kids were suddenly not so "scared" when there was no audience to act up for. Some were definitely afraid, esp the younger kids. But after the first time or two, they were fine. Some of the biggest problems we had with disobedient patients was because of the parents either being extremely anxious themselves and the kids picking up on it, or parents telling their kids horror stories about dentists. Amazingly enough, that happened a LOT. Why in the world a parent would tell their child how painful and horrible the dentist is, then expect them to go in there and sit obediently is a mystery to me.

 

Anyway, we never told a parent they couldn't watch; they just had to do it from the doorway.

[Joanne]

When I was a dental assistant, our office had this policy. It was a small office, the exam rooms were small and there just wasn't room for extra people. However, parents could stand in the door of the room. They could see everything and the kids could see their parents.

 

Something I noticed, though: about 80% of the "scared" kids were suddenly not so "scared" when there was no audience to act up for. Some were definitely afraid, esp the younger kids. But after the first time or two, they were fine. Some of the biggest problems we had with disobedient patients was because of the parents either being extremely anxious themselves and the kids picking up on it, or parents telling their kids horror stories about dentists. Amazingly enough, that happened a LOT. Why in the world a parent would tell their child how painful and horrible the dentist is, then expect them to go in there and sit obediently is a mystery to me.

 

Anyway, we never told a parent they couldn't watch; they just had to do it from the doorway.

 

:iagree:

[joannqn]

Something I noticed, though: about 80% of the "scared" kids were suddenly not so "scared" when there was no audience to act up for. Some were definitely afraid, esp the younger kids. But after the first time or two, they were fine. Some of the biggest problems we had with disobedient patients was because of the parents either being extremely anxious themselves and the kids picking up on it, or parents telling their kids horror stories about dentists. Amazingly enough, that happened a LOT. Why in the world a parent would tell their child how painful and horrible the dentist is, then expect them to go in there and sit obediently is a mystery to me.

 

 

That is certainly not the case here. I've never told her negative things about the dentist and she never gets out of procedures by crying. She's just a sensitive kid who has come up with plenty of things to be fearful about. It drives us batty. I wanted to have her evaluated for SI in the past because it can really affect our lives...like the few years she wouldn't go outside during the summer because there might be bees outside.

[Paz]

I am pretty sure our orthodontist has this policy because they are very firm with kids who don't brush well or wear their retainer enough. My ds always was in a confict with them about not brushing well enough and not wearing his retainer. He was old enough and secure enough (and probably needed the lecturing) so I let it go. My dd was shy so I went back and waited with her even though they had the policy. Sometimes I asked and they said o.k. and other times I just went. I sat on the chair in the waiting area that opens into an are with the orthodontist and hygentists. I once hear the orthodontist telling an 8 year old, "Did you wear your brace? You better tell me the truth because as soon as I put this in I will know if you wore it enough?" So I am pretty sure they wanted parents away so they could bully the kids a bit. Poor kids. He is a great orthodontist but runs his office like a businessman. Not a lot of compassion. Their sign in is computerized and when you sign in, if you are late, a finger wags at you and tells you not to be late again or they may have to cancel you. :lol: