Do you pay older dc to babysit youngers?

[Ginevra]

Do you pay your own older child(ren) to babysit your own younger children? I have already worked out what situation seems best for our family, but I'm curious about what others do.

Edited January 14, 2010 by Quill
Clarity

[Jann in TX]

When my oldest was an early teen (13) I had some scheduled weekly appointments. I paid her $2 per hour (cheap) to babysit her youngest sister and keep an eye on her middle sister (11yrs but accident prone!). If DH and I went out on a date night we ALWAYS paid her... If I ran up to the store for quick trip I did not pay her.

 

Now oldest dd is 19--going to college and living at home I do not pay her for babysitting or picking up her youngest sister from school/events. Oldest dd does MINIMAL around the house so this is her 'way' of helping.

[Parrothead]

I don't have an older child, but I am an older child. I remember resenting not being paid as a non-familymember would have been if my free babysitting wasn't there. We were latch-key children and I was supposed to be responsible for db. Eventually I just let him do what he was going to do and let my parents deal with him because he wouldn't listen to me.

[hsmamainva]

We pay our oldest if we're going out for "couple time"...out to dinner or to a movie or something of that nature. Then we'll pay her $20 for the night (on average).

 

But she doesn't get paid if I'm just going to the grocery store or the dentist's office, etc.

[Barb_]

Do you pay your own older child(ren) to babysit your own younger children? I have already worked out what situation seems best for our family, but I'm curious about what others do.

 

We worked out a compromise. If they are babysitting because of an appointment or grocery shopping or other family chore, they are expected to babysit as a family contribution. But if it's date night or we have a party to attend, we pay family rates which is usually a flat $20 for the evening no matter how late we're out.

 

Barb

[Barb_]

We pay our oldest if we're going out for "couple time"...out to dinner or to a movie or something of that nature. Then we'll pay her $20 for the night (on average).

 

But she doesn't get paid if I'm just going to the grocery store or the dentist's office, etc.

 

Great minds...

 

We were posting at the same time!

 

Barb

[LittleIzumi]

My dad always said that was part of being in the family, babysitting :tongue_smilie:. No pay. But one of my younger brothers moved in with us for a summer after dh and I were married he and was our free babysitter, so it all evened out in the end. :lol:

[OneRoomSchoolHouse]

db and I were 12 years apart. I was paid to babysit him anytime mom went to a church meeting, couple's night, etc. I did enjoy getting paid, but did not enjoy being told to change my plans to babysitting for the evening.

[Tabrett]

I chose other. My oldest dd is 9 years older than our next child. We pay her if it is an inconvenience for her to baby sit or we have asked her to do it too many times.:blush: She doesn't ask for money and sometimes she declines payment because she just wants to help. Most times we pay with itunes gift cards or we buy her something she is wanting. We don't have any kind of payment rate.

[lionfamily1999]

When my oldest was an early teen (13) I had some scheduled weekly appointments. I paid her $2 per hour (cheap) to babysit her youngest sister and keep an eye on her middle sister (11yrs but accident prone!). If DH and I went out on a date night we ALWAYS paid her... If I ran up to the store for quick trip I did not pay her.

 

Now oldest dd is 19--going to college and living at home I do not pay her for babysitting or picking up her youngest sister from school/events. Oldest dd does MINIMAL around the house so this is her 'way' of helping.

This is pretty well what we do. If it's an errand or just a few moments, then there's no payment, but if it's planned then she gets paid. :p She understands, I budget something I plan for, but sometimes you just can't plan for it.

[SquirrellyMama]

I put other because my oldest isn't old enough yet to babysit but I was just thinking about this the other day.

 

I was thinking that if it is a short trip to the po or $ store; no I wouldn't pay her. If it were a date night with my dh; yes I would pay her.

 

Kelly

[st_claire]

I think no, they should do it to help. Parents don't get paid to watch the kids. And the older one gets more privlages because they are older and take on more responsibility.

[Melissa in Australia]

we don't pay in money, but do pay with computer time

[valkett]

Before they were all old enough to just be on their own we paid my oldest if we were going out on a date or event or something like that. If it was a trip to the store or other short errand, I considered it being part of the household. It worked out fine for us.

[Chris in VA]

We don't pay, but we do show appreciation in other ways, such as taking ds to the movies or paying for things (above food, clothing, shelter...). We don't do allowances, either.

 

Guess we're cheap.

 

We do try to keep the babysitting down to a reasonable level. As ds basically just puts her to bed and feeds her (no game playing, reading to her, etc.), we don't feel bad for not paying.

[6packofun]

Other: I would, for longer periods of time (over 2 hours), if we only had the money to do so. Our older kids help a lot and we can't ever give them allowance, spending money, babysitting money, etc. and that's disappointing.

[Julie in CA]

Even though I voted that we don't pay them, we actually do.

We pay them in room, board, medical expenses, clothing, car insurance, educational expenses, and love! ;)

[myfunnybunch]

I voted "Other."

 

If I need to run errands, do drop-offs, if we need coverage between one parent leaving and another arriving, if dh has to work, if I'll be gone for a short time....No. Our oldest dd understands that by watching her younger brothers she is helping our whole family.

 

If dh and I want to go out for something fun, like lunch together or dinner and a movie, she gets paid. She would probably happily do it for free, but we pay her because dh and I discussed it and felt it was right and honors her time and effort. (Grandma usually babysits anyway, for free, so it doesn't happen often.)

 

Cat

[Gretchen in NJ]

My girls are too close in age, but I was never asked and never paid to watch my sisters.

[Ginevra]

It is interesting to see that my plan is the same as many of yours. I have settled on paying if it's for a date night or something similar, but not if it's a short errand. And it will be somewhat below market rate.

 

When I was a kid, it was assumed that I could/should babysit whenever it was needed. Like Parrothead said, I resented it and did not do a good job. I also vividly remember getting blasted because I failed to arrive home early one evening when my parents were expecting me to watch db&s, yet hadn't mentioned it, let alone asked if that would be fine. I just think it shows reasonable respect to ask your dc if they mind. If you can afford to give them some little payment, so much the better.

 

I also thought my dd would be more likely to treat the youngers better if she saw it as an actual job responsibility, rather than just a chore she was saddled with.

[RoughCollie]

I would never put one child in charge of the others. Mine are too close in age.

[AnitaMcC]

Do you pay your own older child(ren) to babysit your own younger children? I have already worked out what situation seems best for our family, but I'm curious about what others do.

 

Rule of thumb for us:

 

We pay our older children to babysit when dh and I are going out for a date or need to run errands and we just don't want to take the younger kids with us.

 

We do not pay if dh and I have to be somewhere and we can not take children with us. Or it is for under 30 minutes (to do a sibling drop off, run to gas station, etc). Then it is a family responsibility to help out.

 

But I have a lot of available sitters to rotate through.

 

Now with the youngest two being 8 and 10 yrs old... baby sitting isn't an issue as much. Usually either my oldest nephew (he is 29), my mom, or one/both of the 14yr old twins will keep an eye on the youngest two.

 

Now days, usually I only need a sitter when taking the twins somewhere and the youngest two can't go with us and if that happens, usually my mom or older nephew is available.

Edited January 14, 2010 by AnitaMcC

[Mabelen]

We do pay our oldest (13) to babysit our youngest (5). Like most, we pay the family rate and not if it is something like running to the grocery store etc.

[courtney.byrum]

I would never put one child in charge of the others. Mine are too close in age.

 

 

Same, but if they were further apart in age we would follow many others. We would pay if we were going on a date night or out to lunch/dinner but not for errands or apts.

[Leanna Tomlinson]

Until our dds were 16 we paid for babysitting if it was for long periods of time but not for short trips or errands.

 

When our dds turned 16 we started giving them a larger allowance with the understanding that built in babysitting was part of the deal. With the larger allowance, they were responsible for buying their own clothing and toiletries, and paying for their entertainment aside from family events. We felt that this recognized their contribution to the family and gave them a chance to manage their own money, checking account, and debit card while still under our supervision.

 

It has worked really well and they have both learned to budget under this system.

 

Leanna

[BMW]

Yes and No.

 

If I am running to the store, I don't. If someone has an appointment, I don't. I want them to be willing to help others without return... to just be helpful and caring.

 

If I go out on a date with dh, I pay. If I were heading out for an adult get together, I would.

[Sarah CB]

We expect dd to babysit and we don't pay her. However, she does get a bigger allowance than the youngers and that's because she has more responsibilities; one of which happens to be babysitting.

 

I try not to take advantage of her. I don't leave the kids for long if I can help it and I usually take a boy or two with me if I'm just out running errands. Actually, I'll often take one boy even if I'm going to a meeting. I really appreciate dd being old enough to babysit and I make sure she knows it.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I don't pay my kids for babysitting siblings. Partially because I consider all the children in charge of themselves and don't want one to lord it over another. Partially because it is a service to the family. I, do, however, work with them so that I can accomodate anything special they have planned. I try for balance so that they can do their thing, but be available when I need them as well.

[angela in ohio]

Not in a million years. :001_smile: Dd gets to live here, and we have convinced her that that is payment enough.

[StephanieZ]

I voted other. . .

 

I pay the older only when dh and I are going out for "fun" (date nights), not for work/shop/driving other kids to and fro/etc.

[mathmom]

I always pay because I've found that DS is one of the best sitters I've ever had, and that includes my MIL. :lol: If I was planning to pay someone outside of the family to do a half-rate job, well I'm more than happy to pay my oldest to do a superb job. And the girls prefer having their brother as a sitter because he is fun!

[Tutor]

We pay her if it is an inconvenience for her to baby sit or we have asked her to do it too many times.:blush: She doesn't ask for money and sometimes she declines payment because she just wants to help. Most times we pay with itunes gift cards or we buy her something she is wanting. We don't have any kind of payment rate.

 

This is how we handle it also.

[Renee in NC]

I used to pay my 16yo to watch them while I worked on weekends. I did not pay him to watch them for an occasional errand. My rule was always if I was making money then he should be, too. I would pay someone else for what was effectively daycare.

 

However, when things went downhill, he voluntarily watched them for free whenever we needed him to (meaning he offered.) I tried to never take advantage of that. When my dh moved here ahead of us, he offered to let me have a few hours alone on Sundays. I usually went to Borders to hang around and I would bring him a book back if I had money.

 

He watched them a couple of times over Christmas while he was here for errands. After the 2nd or 3rd time I had to promise never to leave him again - he is no longer used to so many little ones!:lol:

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Do you pay your own older child(ren) to babysit your own younger children? I have already worked out what situation seems best for our family, but I'm curious about what others do.

 

 

Our older two are too close in age (16 months). Besides, the younger one was more "on the ball" than the older, at a younger age. I never left the older in charge of her brother. They've always been equal.

 

OTOH, we have a 4yo who came along much later. I do leave either or both of the olders in charge of her. Whether I pay them depends on how much they're going to have to do for her while we gone. If they have to get her ready for bed, or cook her a meal, or take care of her when she's got a cold, or if we're going to be gone for several hours, we pay them. If she's just going to be doing her own thing while they're doing theirs (her watching TV while ds plays on the computer, 10 feet away), and if I'm only going to be gone a short time (an hour or so), I don't pay them.

[Nicole M]

My oldest has been in charge of our youngest for years, during the hours I am away from home working. We "pay" him by covering the cost of his car insurance. Occasionally I pay him cash for odd jobs, but seldom for watching his brother.

[Sasharowan]

I have paid my oldest to come to the ball field and watch the toddler so I can concentrate on the one playing, but other than that it is unpaid. Usually ds3 refuses to stay home anyway.

[KidsHappen]

Oh Lord no, we don't pay and if any of my children ever asked I woud tell them I would take off the tab. Now that's not to say that I don't appreciate and reward for this but I don't pay them. I do offer money any time I ask for drivers though. I guess it is obvious that I value people leaving the house for me more than I value being able to leave the house.

[Mrs Mungo]

Other: my eldest gets more allowance than the other kids, this is intended to cover babysitting as needed.

[Jill- OK]

We worked out a compromise. If they are babysitting because of an appointment or grocery shopping or other family chore, they are expected to babysit as a family contribution. But if it's date night or we have a party to attend, we pay family rates which is usually a flat $20 for the evening no matter how late we're out.

 

Barb

 

This is what we do, too...down to the "family rate", lol!

[ChrisN in NY]

Usually, no.

 

When I worked part-time mornings, dd was the supervising party (though the kiddos all had things they were supposed to be doing). But my job was to pay for the braces she desperately needed, so...

 

The olders haven't been asked to babysit a LOT. DD1, though, has had the most babysitting hours and I try to show appreciation in other ways for that.

 

Sometimes her babysitting is an option, and sometimes she'll say yes, sometimes no, and sometimes she'll ask me to take one or the other of the youngers with me but will stay home with the other two..

 

If we have been away and because of it the older one needed to take time of their job, we paid them for their lost work hours.

[KellyinPA]

We pay our oldest if we're going out for "couple time"...out to dinner or to a movie or something of that nature. Then we'll pay her $20 for the night (on average).

 

But she doesn't get paid if I'm just going to the grocery store or the dentist's office, etc.

 

 

That's exactly how it works here, too.

[bunnytracks]

I put other. I pay him an allowance and as a "chore" I expect him to help out by babysitting when needed. That is not set in stone though as I will pay him more if he ends up babysitting alot.

[Dawn in OH]

My children are not yet old enough to babysit their siblings, but I do have an opinion on this subject.

 

My attitude with my own children is, they are my children and my responsibility, not the responsibility of my other children.

 

If my husband and I wanted to take an evening out I would ASK my child if they would babysit, and then pay them a small amount.

 

If I was just running to the grocery store or the gas station I would ask them to watch their siblings for a few minutes, with no payment. And this is pretty much already used in our house. I will ask one of my older children to "please watch Owen" while I take a shower, make this phone call, throw in a load of laundry. This I consider being part of the family.

 

Asking a teenager to give up their Friday night and stay home watching the younger children rather than going out or taking a paying babysitting job I think should have some compensation.

[TammyinTN]

I pay, but not necessarily in cash. I give gift cards, breakfast in bed,make up a spa basket, new jeans something she might want, but not have money for. My girls never complained. :001_smile: