If you are over 40...

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

You know how we all hit that point about 12yo when toys and little kid things suddenly held no magic for us. Then again, somewhere about 20, definitely by 30, teenage things suddenly seem so lame.

 

As adults we develop interests that replace those old things. Over the last 20 years I have had certain books, movies, music, and pursuits that never failed to hold my interest. I would come back to them time and time again. But recently I have found the magic is gone. Again.

 

This time I don't know what to do about it. Everything new and old seems so lame. Money constraints and my obligations keep me from doing many things that I might like to try.

 

I started taking classes at cc a while ago, but had to stop because of money tightness. Besides that, the classes weren't all that I expected them to be. I found them a little boring and formulaic.

 

I guess what I asking is, have you experienced this "phase?" and what did you do about it? I don't want to die of boredom before I hit 50. I can feel my arteries hardening while I type. :tongue_smilie:

[CalicoKat]

You know how we all hit that point about 12yo when toys and little kid things suddenly held no magic for us. Then again, somewhere about 20, definitely by 30, teenage things suddenly seem so lame.

 

As adults we develop interests that replace those old things. Over the last 20 years I have had certain books, movies, music, and pursuits that never failed to hold my interest. I would come back to them time and time again. But recently I have found the magic is gone. Again.

 

This time I don't know what to do about it. Everything new and old seems so lame. Money constraints and my obligations keep me from doing many things that I might like to try.

 

I started taking classes at cc a while ago, but had to stop because of money tightness. Besides that, the classes weren't all that I expected them to be. I found them a little boring and formulaic.

 

I guess what I asking is, have you experienced this "phase?" and what did you do about it? I don't want to die of boredom before I hit 50. I can feel my arteries hardening while I type. :tongue_smilie:

I'm 40 and a half. :) I'd say that this year my mantra has been, "I'm 40 and I'm only going to do what I want to do."

 

Don't try to guilt me into doing it because you'll just push me away faster.

 

I'm a bit more selfish as a 40 yr old.

[kalanamak]

 

I guess what I asking is, have you experienced this "phase?" and what did you do about it? I don't want to die of boredom before I hit 50. I can feel my arteries hardening while I type. :tongue_smilie:

 

Well, I started looking into homeschooling, and found I love to read about and think about math. Which was my weakest subject as a kid.

 

Try branching out. Check out a book you wouldn't otherwise, or go see a play or something different from what you usually do. Go see a ball game. Whatever you just "never" do. Origami. Amway. The piccolo. Mazola oil parties (JUST KIDDING).

 

I sympathize. After my divorce I hit such a slump. I had a baby, I remarried, I changed jobs....all without a speck of joy. I functioned fine, and no one would have known I'd lost my passion for life. Then came math. No one knew I got it back.

 

Good luck, and I don't mean to scare you, but my spark of life slump was 4.5 years....and smack in the middle of my 40's.

[BikeBookBread]

41 here, and I feel like I have finally hit my stride. In my very late 30's I...

 

had both of my girls

learned to play classical guitar (badly, but I did it!)

taught myself how to bake bread, and started baking all of my own baked goods. Now I even grind my own wheat.

taught myself how to crochet and how to knit

started homeschooling

starting utilizing the LIBRARY -- this is going to sound weird, but we had always bought all of our books...now that we go to the library, I don't feel absolutely compelled to do that...this is how I taught myself the crochet and knitting.

 

but I also...

 

stopped exercising regularly :glare: I just lost the passion for it...but I NEED to get that passion back.

 

Maybe try something you have never done before...you might find something that you just love!

[JFSinIL]

I turned 50 this year and am still working at teaching myself to use my year-old digital camera (I miss my SLR 35mm!) and Photoshop - I also have been dabbling with Wheelocks (not gotten too far) and have one of the Teaching Company courses on Shakespeare. Find interesting topics and do some self-teaching!

 

I am also writing a book in my head....

 

Also love to browse the library shelves and if I see several books by one author I stop and start reading one. Am always looking for new authors to fuel my reading habit (I read too fast and have several books, fiction and non, going at any one time.)

 

Facebook games (Pirates! Farmville!) are also major idle time fillers ;)

[lynn]

You know how we all hit that point about 12yo when toys and little kid things suddenly held no magic for us. Then again, somewhere about 20, definitely by 30, teenage things suddenly seem so lame.

 

As adults we develop interests that replace those old things. Over the last 20 years I have had certain books, movies, music, and pursuits that never failed to hold my interest. I would come back to them time and time again. But recently I have found the magic is gone. Again.

 

This time I don't know what to do about it. Everything new and old seems so lame. Money constraints and my obligations keep me from doing many things that I might like to try.

 

I started taking classes at cc a while ago, but had to stop because of money tightness. Besides that, the classes weren't all that I expected them to be. I found them a little boring and formulaic.

 

I guess what I asking is, have you experienced this "phase?" and what did you do about it? I don't want to die of boredom before I hit 50. I can feel my arteries hardening while I type. :tongue_smilie:

 

I started running. I am training to beat my last 5k time, 10K and my ultimate goal is a half marathon within the next 2 years. The challenge has been just what I needed. Getting out an hour a day which is my time to think, challenge myself, meditate, listen to my own music, audio book or whatever has been an added benefit.

 

I also started baking and cooking from scratch more.

Edited December 4, 2009 by lynn

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

Well, I started looking into homeschooling, and found I love to read about and think about math. Which was my weakest subject as a kid.

 

Try branching out. Check out a book you wouldn't otherwise, or go see a play or something different from what you usually do. Go see a ball game. Whatever you just "never" do. Origami. Amway. The piccolo. Mazola oil parties (JUST KIDDING).

 

I sympathize. After my divorce I hit such a slump. I had a baby, I remarried, I changed jobs....all without a speck of joy. I functioned fine, and no one would have known I'd lost my passion for life. Then came math. No one knew I got it back.

 

Good luck, and I don't mean to scare you, but my spark of life slump was 4.5 years....and smack in the middle of my 40's.

 

That does scare me. I'm 45. I've been homeschooling for 18years. I've been through a literature craze, a history craze, a poetry craze, a writing craze. Math doesn't thrill me. ;)

 

I've crocheted, sewed, knitted, embroidered, etc. etc. etc. I haven't tried origami. That might work for a little while if I can actually make beautiful things that I can give away. And it doesn't sound very expensive. Know any good resources? :001_smile:

 

I have been trying to branch out in my reading. I can't believe I'm actually considering reading books with zombies in them.

 

I would love to go and do more things, but the logistics doesn't seem to work with our family. I would love to go to movies and concerts by myself, but then I would have guilt. Sigh.

[LibraryLover]

I haven't gotten there yet. In the past couple of years I've learned how to knit, I love to cook and go to gourmet shops and farmer's markets. I also still get a thrill walking into the library.

 

When I have more disposable income, I will go to NCY more and do more costly things-- more plays, more restaurants etc. I will also buy a really fancy cruising bike (the one I want is 900, and too much for right now), and a super lightweight sea kayak.

[lgm]

You know how we all hit that point about 12yo when toys and little kid things suddenly held no magic for us. Then again, somewhere about 20, definitely by 30, teenage things suddenly seem so lame.

 

As adults we develop interests that replace those old things. Over the last 20 years I have had certain books, movies, music, and pursuits that never failed to hold my interest. I would come back to them time and time again. But recently I have found the magic is gone. Again.

 

This time I don't know what to do about it. Everything new and old seems so lame. Money constraints and my obligations keep me from doing many things that I might like to try.

 

I started taking classes at cc a while ago, but had to stop because of money tightness. Besides that, the classes weren't all that I expected them to be. I found them a little boring and formulaic.

 

I guess what I asking is, have you experienced this "phase?" and what did you do about it? I don't want to die of boredom before I hit 50. I can feel my arteries hardening while I type. :tongue_smilie:

 

I reached that point too. I thought about what I did with the Cub Scouts to get them excited and realized that thinking big is the answer. Make a list of big things you'd like to do , pick one and push yourself to make it happen.

 

My kids aren't old enough to do some of the things I want to do as a family,so I saved them for later. I'd like to mountain bike the trails in South Dakota's National Parks. It's a bit much for my family, as the 12 year old doesn't see himself as a bike rider and dh would rather drive by on his motorcycle. So, I adjust the plans and we'll try a smaller trip biking & driving the Erie Canal... dh can be the sagbike and take the gear.

[amy g.]

I just keep changing. At 40, I decided to have another baby after an 8 year gap. We also moved to our tiny acreage, and had a complete change of lifestyle. I feel like I really would have become depressed and suffocated if I had to stay in the suburbs.

 

I just keep a list of projects I'd like to complete someday. This month, we are finishing some fencing, and getting my big garden ready for Spring. I'd like to build an Earth Oven in the woods someday. When the kids are older, it will be fun to redecorate my house. I'm also planning ahead for grandchildren.

 

I try not to get upset that I can't get everything done right now. When things don't turn out, I tell myself that the timing just wasn't right, but the right time will come if I'm open to it.

 

I think that happy, healthy lives are fluid to a degree. I'm committed to finding the joy that is inherent in today, and looking forward to even greater blessings in the future.

[momtoboys]

I'm not near 40 yet. . .but. . it scares me to think of turning 40. It seems like a huge milestone or something.

[elfgivas]

:grouphug: its good to be aware of how we're feeling and thinking, but hard, too. i think our 40s is when we truly begin to realize that we're on a finite time line.

 

things i've done/tried:

- moving works... (the last time for me was when i was 37; see below)

- emigrating even more... (i was 37 for that one, and it takes at least 10 years to become accustomed and feel at home in a new culture)

- having another baby.... (don't do it; i was 41 for the last one, and its simply hard on the body!)

 

but in the less drastic department, why not try something completely different?

 

i noticed the things you listed are all indoors. if you're able to be outside, why not try hiking? volunteer as a dog walker at a local shelter? get your own dog? go fly a kite. anything that gets you outside and moving only helps... (all i can say is that this is your last best chance to do this stuff; our bodies begin to fall apart soon...)

 

choose a painter of the month and learn all you can about them and go to see some of their paintings and try painting in that style....

 

find a local elder's center, or abused women's shelter and ask what you can do for them...

 

decide to eat differently; join an organic coop, meet new people, etc, etc...

 

open a bottle of wine and imagine what you want to be like at 50 - and then take a first step in becoming who she is.

 

51 is looming on the horizon here.... and i just joined a "learn to tap" class. (in the "you never know if you'll like it until you try it" department. i'm still not sure what i think ; )

 

:grouphug:

ann

[Josie]

OK, we have been invited to go see The Blind Side, and I don't know if it is a movie I want our children to see. I have read the Plugged In review...sounds like the movie is a great story with a fair amount of language, some suggestive behaviors, and violence. I have never taken our children to see anything "worse" than PG, and then I was picky about which ones to see.

 

Our youngest is old enough that I can talk to her about different lifestyles, bad language, etc., so I could use this movie as a learning tool.

 

I would like to hear from folks who have seen the movie what you think. What age is the youngest you would allow to see the movie? Did the good really outweigh the bad? Any comments will be appreciated.

[Josie]

Sorry

[Josie]

OK, we have been invited to go see The Blind Side, and I don't know if it is a movie I want our children to see. I have read the Plugged In review...sounds like the movie is a great story with a fair amount of language, some suggestive behaviors, and violence. I have never taken our children to see anything "worse" than PG, and then I was picky about which ones to see.

 

Our youngest is old enough that I can talk to her about different lifestyles, bad language, etc., so I could use this movie as a learning tool.

 

I would like to hear from folks who have seen the movie what you think. What age is the youngest you would allow to see the movie? Did the good really outweigh the bad? Any comments will be appreciated.

[Josie]

Sorry, again!

[ccmom]

Wrong thread! Sorry!

Edited December 4, 2009 by ccmom
Somehow this reply went to the wrong thread! ?!?

[Vida Winter]

Learning to cook in a different way - breads, ethnic foods, etc. - you have to eat and cook anyway, perhaps make it an adventure?

 

And there are always books to be read, especially the classics.

[Happy]

I loved my forties! (She says as she looks in the rearview mirror at them fading into the distance....)

 

In my forties, I closed my photography studio, moved overseas and back again, and started homeschooling. What a way to get out of my life's ruts. :0)

 

I'm over fifty now and really looking forward to the coming years. My kids are adults, in age if not in behavior. ;) Therefore, I don't have to base my whole life on their needs. I'm done being a fulltime mom (most days.) We don't have lots of dollars, but I can start to save for a trip with my husband or take a class if I want. We are considering downsizing so we can have more dollars to spend on travel. We love to travel.

 

These days I blog, garden, and quilt. I'm pursuing a career in writing. Last year my husband and I took up stained glass...took a couple of one day classes and, on our birthdays, bought each other equipment for home use.

That's been fun!

 

We also go hiking together. I used to love trail riding on my horse, but dh didn't. No horse any more...hiking has gotten us outside more and more interested in fitness. My daily workouts mean I can hike a mountain in Phoenix when I'm there with dh. We hit the local nature areas once a month or so.

 

I have indulged in my lifelong interest in baseball by becoming a rabid fan of the local pro team.

 

I take on bigger projects at church and in my writer's group these days.

 

You are feeling a natural restlessness because you've entered a new phase of life. Sit down and make a list of a few things you'd love to do or accomplish before you turn fifty. Something you've always wanted to do, but haven't had the time. I second the library. You can read enough about many topics to become knowledgable without needing a degree from an institution.

 

Keep your eyes peeled and your heart open. Try new things. You'll discover something that piques your interest and have fun on the journey there.

 

By the way...I'm loving my fifties...yes, I'm creakier physically and my metabolism is s l o w. But I feel confident in who I am and really don't mind speaking my mind these days. It's fun to no longer care precisely what people think of you. I wear purple...a LOT....but no red hats. Yet.

[OnTheBrink]

Two book suggestions that might help (and, I'm in my 40's, so I know what you're talking about). These are Christian books and IIRC, you're Christian? If not, disregard.

 

Quest for More: Living for Something Bigger Than Youreself

http://www.amazon.com/Quest-More-Living-Something-Bigger/dp/0978556747/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259944174&sr=8-3

 

Lost in the Middle: Middle Age and the Grace of God

http://www.amazon.com/Lost-Middle-Midlife-Grace-God/dp/0972304681/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259944174&sr=8-5

[Beth in OH]

I have begun volunteering my time in ways that now interest me--particularly service that benefits women in some way. I host a semi-monthly women's Bible study in my home, and I'm now involved in ministries within my church that support single moms.

 

Oh--and I took up bikeriding last sumer.:)

[AuntieM]

I have found that volunteering helps me through patches like that. There have been times I've volunteered in the traditional sense, like at a food bank, and there have been times I've volunteered on other things I wouldn't have thought of as volunteering before.

 

The most recent has been working on sets for my daughter's theater company. It's fun, I've used some artistic and construction skills I never knew I had, and there's quite a sense of satisfaction in seeing the finished product.

 

As others have said, I've also exercised through times like this. The key for me is to set a goal, like a 5K or something, to help give me focus.

 

Last thing, I decided to teach something I knew about at the home school co-op. It earns me a little money, but mostly has earned me new relationships and a different venue in which to function.

[Penelope]

Not quite 40 but I have had the feelings you describe in the OP.

 

I am getting interested in new things. Trying to learn a new instrument. I look forward to learning new languages with my kids. But I am still searching for some magic thing that is "just mine" apart from the husband and kids.

[Tam101]

I'm 43 and half...wow! Let me get over the shock for a moment...Ok...

 

Anyway, I see you have a good spread there with your kids. I only have two, but they are 12-years apart in age. I guess for me I started homeschooling about the time when I needed something new to catch my interest and then about a year ago I discovered Facebook (late on that bandwagon). I'm starting to realize though that I spend way to much time on the computer and need something else. The best thing I could do for myself right now is to take advantage of the exercise equipment I have upstairs! My body is getting weak and flabby and I have no excuse. What about a gym membership for you?

[Mekanamom]

Music? Practicing an instrument can be fit in around your other activities... and could become a passion.

 

After a nearly 20 year break, I have dusted off my bass guitar and am practicing with the drummer from my old band again! It's been great. Hey, where are you located? We need a guitarist... :D

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Well, I had a baby at 42! That has given me a whole new perspective on all sorts of things. And, I'm never bored!

[KrissiK]

I'm 41 and we had our kids later in life (got married later in life) so I'm probably at a life stage that most people 10 years younger than me are at. I kind of understand what you're talking about, though. I think for me it's a realization that "this" is life. When you're in your teens and 20s you have your whole adult life ahead of you and there's that anticipation and excitement of what is possible. When you hit your forties, there may be some regret in there, some disappointments and heartaches. You realize that the things you wanted in your 20s may never happen. For me, too, when I was younger and single, I lived life with "reckless abandon". You can do that when you're only responsible for youself. Now, that doesn't happen anymore, especially when you're married to a very cautious man.

[MamaT]

I am 46 and I love my 40's. My perspective has changed so much since I have two grown children. I know how fast it goes and to enjoy every day with my children. A great perk is that I don't give a fig what anyone thinks anymore. That is very freeing.

[Mabelen]

:grouphug: its good to be aware of how we're feeling and thinking, but hard, too. i think our 40s is when we truly begin to realize that we're on a finite time line.

 

things i've done/tried:

- moving works... (the last time for me was when i was 37; see below)

- emigrating even more... (i was 37 for that one, and it takes at least 10 years to become accustomed and feel at home in a new culture)

- having another baby.... (don't do it; i was 41 for the last one, and its simply hard on the body!)

 

but in the less drastic department, why not try something completely different?

 

i noticed the things you listed are all indoors. if you're able to be outside, why not try hiking? volunteer as a dog walker at a local shelter? get your own dog? go fly a kite. anything that gets you outside and moving only helps... (all i can say is that this is your last best chance to do this stuff; our bodies begin to fall apart soon...)

 

choose a painter of the month and learn all you can about them and go to see some of their paintings and try painting in that style....

 

find a local elder's center, or abused women's shelter and ask what you can do for them...

 

decide to eat differently; join an organic coop, meet new people, etc, etc...

 

open a bottle of wine and imagine what you want to be like at 50 - and then take a first step in becoming who she is.

 

51 is looming on the horizon here.... and i just joined a "learn to tap" class. (in the "you never know if you'll like it until you try it" department. i'm still not sure what i think ; )

 

:grouphug:

ann

 

:iagree:

 

I am 45, fast approaching 46! So far I have not experienced the slump, but then again I don't think I've had enough time...

 

My first international move from my home country was in my mid 20s, this was on my own and that's how I met my husband. Then in my mid 30s we migrated as a family to the US. At 39 I got pregnant with my long awaited but very unexpected second child, who was my 40th birthday present! I also changed professions around the same time (applied for the position and interviewed the month I got pregnant, and found out I got the job the same day I learned I was pregnant). We moved across the country this summer, so that feels a little like emigrating all over again even if it is the same country! I hope however, we don't have to move too soon again now my dh is unemployed :sad:

 

Other than that, I am definitely exercising now on a regular basis (even doing my kegels these days ;)!). I am trying to read again good classics, getting to enjoy more kinds of music, getting acquanted with technologies/social networking -another Facebook latecomer- etc, I am also volunteering through my daughters' Girl Scouts troops, and teaching an arts program at my youngest's school! We also are planning to foster cats and dogs...

[ccm]

I started running.

 

This is one of the best things I ever did for myself in my mid-forties. I started slowly running with a few friends, we ran a 5K race together at age 45, and then I ran the NYC Marathon at the age of 47! I am going to celebrate my 54th birthday in less than two months and enjoying life to the fullest. :auto:

[TammyinTN]

I'm 42 and went through this period a couple of years ago. I'm now much more relaxed in my own skin. I've slowed down and stopped stressing about stuff and I'm enjoying the ride so much better.

[kalanamak]

 

I would love to go and do more things, but the logistics doesn't seem to work with our family. I would love to go to movies and concerts by myself, but then I would have guilt. Sigh.

 

My mother took up Spanish. She took classes and loved being with friendly young women, who were much more lively and less snobby than her peers.

[Tammyla]

Keep searching...

[MaMa2005]

At 46 (and DH 49), we adopted a 2 year old boy from China. Talk about keeping us young in our retirement! No hardening of the arteries here!

[Carol in Cal.]

I was pretty smug--oh, I'm just so frugal now. I'm so beyond all that. I don't have the desire for 'stuff' anymore. I have read "Your Money or Your Life" and taken it to heart (that one, at least, is true and correct). I just am not tempted by television anymore. I am so, so, so mature now!

 

But then I realized--I'm just not targetted anymore! Everyone markets to the 18 to 35 year olds! The stores, the TV shows, the catalogues--it's all for THEM!

 

Sigh.

[nono]

This is one of the best things I ever did for myself in my mid-forties. I started slowly running with a few friends, we ran a 5K race together at age 45, and then I ran the NYC Marathon at the age of 47! I am going to celebrate my 54th birthday in less than two months and enjoying life to the fullest. :auto:

 

Nice!

 

To OP: Yeah, another vote for running. I started at 41 yrs old and just ran my first marathon a couple weeks ago. I qualified for Boston. I'm 45.

 

I do know about the phases. It usually hits me when I'm looking in a mirror, when I suddenly say, "This isn't me anymore." Or else I'm lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. For me, it's usually a sign that something amazing is right around the corner! I hope it is the same for you!!! :coolgleamA:

[Peela]

I am 42, but I have always gone through phases of new interests and letting go of old ones. I thought that was just normal :) Currently my passions are researching Raw Foods (so I am on yet another health kick but it is also a professional interest),including booking some workshops, essential oils, planning my ideal home and garden (even though we still seem miles away from actually being able to buy our own), and reading a certain series of books that are non fiction. For 6 years I was passionate about researching homeschooling and that has just dropped away. We just do what we do now.

Every now and then I hit a spot where I am not passionate about anything...I think its a good rest time and time to just open up to what is coming around the corner. If you werent in waiting mode, or empty mode, there wouldnt be any space for the new "thing" to find you. You would be too busy. It could be a new type of exercise, or gardening, or a type of cooking (those are 3 common ones for me). Or something you just never thought woudl grab your interest. It will come, but you cant force it at all.

[hillfarm]

In my mid 30's I got into a phase where I wanted experiences rather than things for my birthday or Christmas gifts. And I wanted them to be things that I had wanted to do but never took the time. So one year I decided to learn to play bluegrass fiddle (still play today). The next year I decided to become a storm chaser and lightening photographer (great fun!). After that I took a small engine repair class... etc. All things that use my brain in ways other than I normally do. I have found this to be great fun and have really enjoyed both the selection process and actually trying some of the things I have wanted to do.

 

Some of the things I have tried, I discovered that it wasn't destined to be. I found out I am not cut out to be a serious cake decorator. I am not going to be a world famous weaver or basket maker.

 

However, my current passion is atlatl throwing. Yep, I'm out there in my south pasture two or three times a week heaving giant 6 foot long arrows with a special lever/bat device. And I absolutely love it. I have to be careful or I will keep at it until I lose the light. This month I will be learning how to start fires with only sticks and friction. You never know when this might come in handy....:D

[Sunshine State Sue]

I'll be 49 this month, and I can so relate.

 

EVERY single thing that generally brought me joy my entire adult life (choir, reading, friendships, hs'ing, exercise, baking, cooking) has lost its luster.

 

I would truly love to be a hermit for a year. In Susun Weed's book on Menopause, she talks over and over again about taking a crone's year away. Yeah, right. Oh, to be independently wealthy and without obligations.

 

I have decided to take a Statistics course before my 50th birthday, partially because I'm curious, partially to explore a possible career change (I work as a programmer). I can't really say that I'm enthusiastic about it.

 

I think it would be fun to take a cooking class, but finding one has been a challenge, even if I could squeeze it into my schedule.

 

The only thing I am doing about this phase is putting one foot in front of the other. I ask every woman I know remotely well about menopause. The only suggestion I have received, tried, and incorporated into my life is a daily nap.

 

This too shall pass, or so I tell myself.

[mamapjama]

I go through phases too. I too have taken up running and though I enjoy it when it is over and look forward to it the night before, I must push myself throughtout most of the run. So challenging myself to improve my time, as well as my distance is good for me.

 

I also took up geocaching this summer and am addicted to it. I love a treasure hunt. I love being outdoors in all different types of settings. My young children love it too and though it is nice to go by myself once in a while, I love searching with them.

 

Then there is always renting "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" :lol:

[sheryl]

I turned 50 this year and am still working at teaching myself to use my year-old digital camera (I miss my SLR 35mm!) and Photoshop - I also have been dabbling with Wheelocks (not gotten too far) and have one of the Teaching Company courses on Shakespeare. Find interesting topics and do some self-teaching!

 

I am also writing a book in my head....

 

Also love to browse the library shelves and if I see several books by one author I stop and start reading one. Am always looking for new authors to fuel my reading habit (I read too fast and have several books, fiction and non, going at any one time.)

 

Facebook games (Pirates! Farmville!) are also major idle time fillers ;)

 

 

OK then, you and I can start a thread on h 50+ crowd. ;)

[LibraryLover]

OK then, you and I can start a thread on h 50+ crowd. ;)

 

 

lol

 

I'm interested. My mother has said you never stop feeling like yourself, but the face in the mirror isn't yours.

 

That always makes me feel sad. I like seeing the changes. One of my aunts used to have dark brown hair and now she is 100& gray and I love how she looks. She has soft, crinkly eyes and a lovely laugh at 58. I lurver her and I love how she looks.

[Jenny in Atl]

The body slowing down, hurting more is not fun. Don't seem to be able to bounce back as well as I used to, after certain activities... But mentally, emotionally, I feel the best I ever have. I'm more comfortable taking chances, learning new things. I've learned to like myself, feel at ease with my body.

 

I still love music, bks, movies, art, etc. $ is very tight her too, so I try to find as many options to enjoy all mentioned, and more. I also agree, volunteer work, finding something outside yourself and even your family helps.

 

:grouphug:

[TxMama]

I love my 40's. My perspective has changed so much since I have two grown children. I know how fast it goes and to enjoy every day with my children. A great perk is that I don't give a fig what anyone thinks anymore. That is very freeing.

:iagree::iagree:

[rookie]

FREEDOM.

[sheryl]

lol

 

I'm interested. My mother has said you never stop feeling like yourself, but the face in the mirror isn't yours.

 

That always makes me feel sad. I like seeing the changes. One of my aunts used to have dark brown hair and now she is 100& gray and I love how she looks. She has soft, crinkly eyes and a lovely laugh at 58. I lurver her and I love how she looks.

 

Laurie, Hi! I understand how you feel. The statement, however, I think is a brave and realistic one, She no doubt has fond memories of her youth. It seems like she is saying she is young at heart, but her face does not match. Inside she "feels" the pretty much the same, but time is etched on her face.

 

I hope they know how blessed they are to call you daughter and neice. :glare:

 

Thanks for sharing that Laurie...wonderul!

[Liz CA]

Try branching out. Check out a book you wouldn't otherwise, or go see a play or something different from what you usually do. Go see a ball game. Whatever you just "never" do. Origami. Amway. The piccolo. Mazola oil parties (JUST KIDDING).

 

 

This is the key. I will shortly be half way between forty and fifty. In the last five years, I learned how to crochet and actually make something useful, switched to organics (mostly anyway), eat better, read new books, etc.

 

If the CC classes were not very exciting, look around for something else. There are many things that can be learned / done without spending a fortune. Setting out to learn something new is now more fascinating to me than when I was younger.

[momof165]

I am 44, turning 45 in March of next year. Honestly, I love being in my 40's. I have learned to love myself, to accept myself, to be happy with myself. Who cares about what others say...... I found inner peace and happiness at this age. My ds (10) is the joy of my life and he is my inspiration. I am happier and more satisfied than when I was in my 20's or 30's. Maybe, it's the new hobbies and interests that I have aquired over the years (became Reiki Master Teacher and certified Aromatherapist, started yoga). I don't want to change a thing and I am actually looking forward to being 50. All that knowledge, all that experience :D - I don't want to go through ALL of this again! :tongue_smilie: No hardening arteries here - but a few more wrinkles and a couple of pounds! ;)

 

Maybe, you'll find some new interest or hobbies such as playing an instrument, learning a new language, painting, knitting, sport, looking into alternative and holistic fields for ideas, etc.

 

It's not so bad being 40 and beyond...............

____________________________

Sonja in Co

Edited December 5, 2009 by momof165

[BridgeTea]

This thread has been a wonderful read. It has me really reflecting on all the changes I've made in my own life the last few years.

 

I am 48. Throughout my adult years, it seems there was a natural ebb & flow of feeling in a rut at times, and then making improvements or changes to get out of that rut. A rut felt like discontentment with a current situation, so I'd set goals and do what needed to be done. Periods to mature, grow, and learn to be responsible, I suppose.

 

Now the last few years I feel like I finally get my mother's (and aunties' and grandmothers') looniness. I buy purple clothes now. And orange, for heaven's sake! What is up with that? I tease the stock boys and try to encourage the grumpy tellers. I'm picky about who I spend my time with (no more energy-suckers!) My spiritual life is way more important. I laugh more, even though there's been some serious life issues during this same time. Loved ones have become more precious than ever. I travel alone to see who I want to see. I started homeschooling and down-sized our home and threw out lots of unimportant "stuff", literally and figuratively.

 

In short, there's been lots of lifestyle changes and I think they come from recognizing my priorities. That brings a lot of freedom and inner peace.

 

I absolutely hate that mountain biking hurts me now. I do not like the fact I can grow a goatee. But the 40s really are wonderful. If you're not there yet, don't be scared. It's good stuff.

 

Besides, holy carp, did I just see a pp say she goes out in the field to practice throwing her atlatl 3 days a week? Who sells atlatls? I need to add to my wish list!

[keptwoman]

Besides, holy carp, did I just see a pp say she goes out in the field to practice throwing her atlatl 3 days a week? Who sells atlatls? I need to add to my wish list!

Never mind who sells them... what are they???

 

Well I'm about to hit 40. I'm mildly nervous. My hair is starting to grey and my skin is getting a little wrinkled. The body has aches where I'm sure it shouldn't have. I said to DH that we need to get a softer mattress :lol: I used to revel in the firm one.

 

I enjoy life and I feel I have much to learn and do. I'm trying to get into an illustrative journalling habit (and mostly failing but that's my current challenge) We have good friends and a nice life but I do find myself restless and wanting something more or different. I'd like to move countries/cities again but DH is so very settled that I don't see that happening.

 

Oh I've drivelled. Anyway. I don't have the particular issue of life having no lustre. However I do think that a big number like 40 tends to lead to re-evaluation of things.