What sort of job should my son be looking for?

[DawnM]

My 26 year old has never held a real job.   He has done an internship, but it was years ago.   He has almost 3 years of college but never finished.   He has Autism and struggles greatly.   We have known he would struggle to work because he is so moody and doesn't like to do things the way he is told to do them (he thinks he knows better than others even when he doesn't.)

He has said he would l like to work in a national park somewhere or a job that gives housing of some sort.   I think it will still be difficult but perhaps if he has a job where he is given some freedom and doesn't work directly with many people???   

He likes nature and he likes growing things and working 

I have been looking at this site:

https://www.coolworks.com

Is there another site you know of that you could recommend?

I have been looking at jobs like maintenance in a national park, or maybe a grounds keeper?   He has no experience at all so it has to be something for a rookie.   

I want to encourage him as much as I can in this but don't want to take over his job search.   

He also doesn't drive.

 

[Katy]

If you don’t have a national park near you, maybe he could be a groundskeeper for the city or a local lawn company? 

[DawnM]

11 minutes ago, Katy said:

If you don’t have a national park near you, maybe he could be a groundskeeper for the city or a local lawn company? 

I think he wants to leave home for a while and venture out more than just a local grounds keeping job.   He likes the idea of being out in the middle of nowhere.

[mommyoffive]

He could look into that for summer camps too.  I have no experience in grounds keeping but a lot of people who work that kind of job drive a truck around the park or center.  That might be an issue.  Hopefully if he was in a group work crew it wouldn't be an issue.  Or do you not need a drivers license to drive an ATV sort of thing which I see some of them driving.

There might be jobs like this from Americorps too.

Edited June 7 by mommyoffive

[DawnM]

1 hour ago, mommyoffive said:

He could look into that for summer camps too.  I have no experience in grounds keeping but a lot of people who work that kind of job drive a truck around the park or center.  That might be an issue.  Hopefully if he was in a group work crew it wouldn't be an issue.  Or do you not need a drivers license to drive an ATV sort of thing which I see some of them driving.

There might be jobs like this from Americorps too.

I was looking at Americorps a little bit.  I will look again.   

Although a temp summer job might be a good start, he can't start until August, so we will have to forgo strictly summer only jobs for now.

And yeah, several jobs I saw said he needs a valid DL.  He just won't be able to do that.

Edited June 7 by DawnM

[PinkTulip]

I know Utah has a Conservation Corps that has jobs like you describe for their many state parks. I think there is something similar in the federal level.  You could Google (State) Conservation Corps and see what comes up. 

[DawnM]

1 hour ago, PinkTulip said:

I know Utah has a Conservation Corps that has jobs like you describe for their many state parks. I think there is something similar in the federal level.  You could Google (State) Conservation Corps and see what comes up. 

Is this volunteer?   Or paid?

The website says 18-25 for the adult jobs and he is 26, so not sure he could do it???

[Ottakee]

Have you contacted your state’s rehabilitation services?   They work with individuals with added challenges to find and keep employment.  They can also help with 1:1 drivers training, job training, trade schools, and much more.

 

[Innisfree]

Does he mind acknowledging that he has autism? I have known people who had jobs that would normally have required driving, but their disabilities obviously negated that part of the job (i.e., being part of a trash crew*). Others did the driving. 

Living in a remote situation where people are dependent on cars to get to grocery stores and manage daily life seems more difficult.

I agree that going through rehabilitation services seems like a good idea.

* Not suggesting this for your ds, just the example I’m familiar with.

Edited June 7 by Innisfree

[DawnM]

49 minutes ago, Ottakee said:

Have you contacted your state’s rehabilitation services?   They work with individuals with added challenges to find and keep employment.  They can also help with 1:1 drivers training, job training, trade schools, and much more.

 

Yup!   It didn't go well.   They had so many obstacles.   They tried to put him in a. part time job in the middle of the day 30 min away, requiring us to drive him 2 hours per day and we work full time.

They are located over 30 min away and said they can help with a job, but they can't help with where or when.

We couldn't make it work and by the end, he was not willing to even work with them again.   

And no, they had no 1:1 driver's training offered.   He completed Driver's Ed, he has had a permit.   He just hates driving and refuses.

But yes, we spent about 4 months driving to all sorts of places to meet with all sorts of people, none of them close to us, and all to be told they couldn't really help us.

He is fine with telling people he has Autism, but he is pretty high functioning, so some of the programs for more severe autism, won't work.

[Innisfree]

Any chance he could start with some volunteering, to get some experience and references? If he can accept that his dream job won’t be instantly available, but something he needs to work towards? Maybe there’s something close to you that would match some of his interests.

[PeterPan]

Can your county board of disabilities hook you up with job services? States usually have programs for this and they assign a coordinator who knows how to mentor and help with the process.

 

[gardenmom5]

A state parks dept? 
City parks?

a commercial grower?

doesn't have to be NPS.  
 

[Rosie_0801]

My aunt used to make up to 20k a year collecting native seeds, a contractor to a government agency.

I don't know if that's a thing in your area.

Can he create a market garden on your property and have a market stall or sell to a local cafe?

[hshibley]

I took a quick look at the state job website (I think we’re in the same state). It looks like they all the jobs require drivers licenses. I’d see if you could work on that first. 

[DawnM]

2 hours ago, hshibley said:

I took a quick look at the state job website (I think we’re in the same state). It looks like they all the jobs require drivers licenses. I’d see if you could work on that first. 

It's not that he need to work on it, it is that he won't.   He has some reasons I won't go into because the, "Oh, well, I would just talk to him and say this" won't work on him.  He is 26 and we have tried until we are just not willing to fight that battle anymore.   And no, the incentive of a job won't entice him, he will just forgo that job application.

[DawnM]

8 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

My aunt used to make up to 20k a year collecting native seeds, a contractor to a government agency.

I don't know if that's a thing in your area.

Can he create a market garden on your property and have a market stall or sell to a local cafe?

No, he can't.

[DawnM]

9 hours ago, gardenmom5 said:

A state parks dept? 
City parks?

a commercial grower?

doesn't have to be NPS.  
 

No, but those are the ones who offer housing and he would like to venture out a bit.

A local job will require us to drive him.  Fine if it is close by, but not if it is a distance, which they have been when I have looked.   DH works from home 3 days per week, but we are restricted by A's school schedule and having to be here for bus pick up and drop off.   And DH can't take off 2 hours per day to drive oldest back and forth.   But we have been looking.

Edited June 8 by DawnM

[DawnM]

10 hours ago, PeterPan said:

Can your county board of disabilities hook you up with job services? States usually have programs for this and they assign a coordinator who knows how to mentor and help with the process.

 

I won't repeat, but read my answer above, someone else already asked.

[DawnM]

10 hours ago, Innisfree said:

Any chance he could start with some volunteering, to get some experience and references? If he can accept that his dream job won’t be instantly available, but something he needs to work towards? Maybe there’s something close to you that would match some of his interests.

If there is anything, he might.   I haven't found anything yet.   

[freesia]

38 minutes ago, DawnM said:

No, but those are the ones who offer housing and he would like to venture out a bit.

A local job will require us to drive him.  Fine if it is close by, but not if it is a distance, which they have been when I have looked.   DH works from home 3 days per week, but we are restricted by A's school schedule and having to be here for bus pick up and drop off.   And DH can't take off 2 hours per day to drive oldest back and forth.   But we have been looking.

Could he be dropped off and picked up early and late and wait? We have to do this with our kids/young adults. 

[almondbutterandjelly]

I have a relative who did Americorps.  They taught him to drive and they taught him some trades.  I think he works with glass or welds now.  It was a very successful program.  He was on the spectrum, but I don't know how oppositional he was about these things.

[DawnM]

8 minutes ago, freesia said:

Could he be dropped off and picked up early and late and wait? We have to do this with our kids/young adults. 

depends on how far it is and what hours we are talking about, but if it is 30 min away, NO!   Dh will not drive 2 hours a day to accommodate that, he just can't.   15 min away, more doable.

The job corp or whatever for special needs folks that we went through said they had NO jobs within 30 min of our house and we would need to drive him 30 min to an hour each way, which we cannot do.

We did not have the best experience with them.   I don't want to get into all of it.

If he were to get a job at our local Target, then sure, it is less than 10 min. away and he could hang out at the Dunkin' next door and have a coffee and laptop time, but not across town.

[DawnM]

11 minutes ago, almondbutterandjelly said:

I have a relative who did Americorps.  They taught him to drive and they taught him some trades.  I think he works with glass or welds now.  It was a very successful program.  He was on the spectrum, but I don't know how oppositional he was about these things.

Good to know.  I will research.  I know my son would be fine with maybe a location he needs to drive around a golf cart, but not a truck or a car.   I don't think you need a DL for a golf cart though.

[Teaching3bears]

Do you have a state park near you?  You could go with him and speak to the people working there and see if there are any jobs that do not require driving.  If not, make phone calls to figure this out.

What do you have that he could get to on his own?  Does he bike or take public transportation?  Maybe a nursery or garden centre?

Would he be interested in working on a farm?  Maybe they would provide room and board. Or, tree planting.

What about a campground or somewhere else in the tourism sector?

Is there some kind of office near you that provided employment counseling for youth?  They might know if jobs that would be suitable for him.

 

 

[freesia]

What about an urban park where he could take public transportation? Not a park, but dh ran an AmeriCorps program in DC. 

[Innisfree]

How comfortable would he be living away from you, taking care of himself, if he were in an environment with public transportation?

I know you’re planning to put a lot of money into living accommodations for him at your house. It sounds like employment there is going to be difficult, though, at least for the kind of job he’s envisioning now. So testing out his ability to function elsewhere might be instructive for him and you.

I would worry about plonking him into an isolated environment where he’s entirely dependent on other people to get off the worksite, like a state or national park, or a private business like a farm. The potential for neglect or abuse just seems dicey. Additionally, responsible, legitimate employers might balk at an employee who seemed likely to be highly dependent, unless they’re already set up to deal with disabilities. So, again, stretching his ability to look after himself as much as possible might be a good starting point.

You said he had almost three years of college. Was he living away from home then? How did that go? 

[Ottakee]

7 minutes ago, Innisfree said:

How comfortable would he be living away from you, taking care of himself, if he were in an environment with public transportation?

I know you’re planning to put a lot of money into living accommodations for him at your house. It sounds like employment there is going to be difficult, though, at least for the kind of job he’s envisioning now. So testing out his ability to function elsewhere might be instructive for him and you.

 

I agree.  I had to move from my dream home to a place where there was public transportation and job opportunities for my kids.  It was the right decision.

are there any areas within 30 minutes or so of you that he could move to (maybe income based apartments ……which I know can have years long wait lists) that has public transportation he could use.?   A way for him to learn to be on his own and get a job but without you too far away.

I know this is tough.  I live it with my 3 and with my 17 young adult students.  Public transportation if they cannot or will not drive is so important.

I agree that sending him far away when he is not used to being on his own and won’t have transportation options can make him very vulnerable.

 

 

[*LC]

https://www.ncparks.gov/search/ncparks

In theory, this shows what state parks are hiring for what jobs. It also will tell you the requirements for each job. 

[KSera]

4 hours ago, DawnM said:

If there is anything, he might.   I haven't found anything yet.   

Perhaps an option (for volunteer work that provides room and board) might be WWOOFing? https://wwoofusa.org/en/

[QueenCat]

18 hours ago, DawnM said:

Yup!   It didn't go well.   They had so many obstacles.   They tried to put him in a. part time job in the middle of the day 30 min away, requiring us to drive him 2 hours per day and we work full time.

They are located over 30 min away and said they can help with a job, but they can't help with where or when.

We couldn't make it work and by the end, he was not willing to even work with them again.   

And no, they had no 1:1 driver's training offered.   He completed Driver's Ed, he has had a permit.   He just hates driving and refuses.

But yes, we spent about 4 months driving to all sorts of places to meet with all sorts of people, none of them close to us, and all to be told they couldn't really help us.

He is fine with telling people he has Autism, but he is pretty high functioning, so some of the programs for more severe autism, won't work.

What about your county's board for people with developmental disabilities (hereafter referred to as bdd? My son has Asperger's, is high functioning in many ways (has a masters degree) but not in others. He received services from both state vocational rehab services AND through the county's bdd. The 1 on 1 driving was through the county bdd. He already had his license but needed a refresher when we moved to an area with more traffic. My ds doesn't drive more than 10-15 minutes from home, but we're working on longer distances. 

[Annie G]

Seems like there is a lot going on- not willing to learn to drive, wants to live away from home, doesn’t want a job where he has to do things a certain way.  In our situation, we had to take things one step at a time.  We had ds find a job- any job- to learn how to be an employee. He needed a lot of scaffolding to train him how to work, and it wasn’t always smooth. Two jobs each lasted under a week. But once he was ok with that, driving was next. And then we combined working and driving.  Continued to add responsibilities. He’s about to turn 30 and will soon move away from home- to live with his sister and her husband as a way to transition into living on his own. Will it work? Who knows.   Yes, he wanted to be on his own, independent. But it was just too much. He needs baby steps and scaffolding, and might always need that. 
All that to say…do you feel that he’s ready to live away from you guys w no way to get places on his own and nobody there to help him adjust to a job?  If you don’t, maybe finding any job nearby would be a good start. Unloading trucks at Target or Lowe’s, overnight grocery stocking, maybe a landscaper needs someone to do grunt work. They’re always hiring here. 
It’s hard when they’re adults and intelligent, but still need us so much. hard on them, hard on us. 

[Terabith]

Bluntly, I don’t think it’s likely that he will be able to find a job. The combination of not driving and not able to do things he doesn’t want to do seems like an unlikely employment situation.  

[Wheres Toto]

As weird as it sounds, a great first job for my autistic son was Spirit Halloween.   For a retail job, it's pretty relaxed because the people coming in there to shop are generally relaxed and in a good mood.  It tends to attract the quirky in management so is laid-back.  They can dress however they want (he did have to wear an apron over regular clothes, but also could have worn costumes).   It was predictable, walk around and help people find things, straighten up a little bit.   It had a deadline, the stores are only open/around from September through early November, and that's if you work set-up and take-down.   Around here they are everywhere during the season so it was easy to drive him since he didn't have a license, and they were willing to work around his school schedule. 

[katilac]

12 hours ago, DawnM said:

No, but those are the ones who offer housing and he would like to venture out a bit.

the coolworks site will let you filter by jobs that offer housing 

[Rosla]

The suggestions on CoolWorks seem like a good starting point for your son. I'd also recommend checking out job boards like Indeed or Glassdoor for similar entry-level positions that may offer the independence and structure your son needs.

What about his own business he could run from home? It can be gardening if he likes growing things and working. He can sell products online or become a vlogger. Of course, it also requires effort and time, but it is possible to partner with marketing companies like BrandSimpli, for instance, which can ease the process. 

Anyway, I hope your son will find his career path soon. Good luck to both of you!

Edited June 10 by Rosla

[Eos]

On 6/7/2024 at 4:51 PM, DawnM said:

I have been looking at this site:

https://www.coolworks.com

Has he looked at that site and seemed interested? I know a lot of young people who have had those jobs. The ones I know who work at NPS places get pulled together as a cohort which may or may not be appealing to your ds. It's great for extroverts who like being in a dorm and they develop the kind of us-vs-them mentality of tourist town workers, which can be bonding and fun.

Out of left field: do you have any land where he could run his own little https://www.hipcamp.com/en-US? Build it a website, respond to inquiries, clean and equip it.

[Ottakee]

49 minutes ago, Eos said:

Has he looked at that site and seemed interested? I know a lot of young people who have had those jobs. The ones I know who work at NPS places get pulled together as a cohort which may or may not be appealing to your ds. It's great for extroverts who like being in a dorm and they develop the kind of us-vs-them mentality of tourist town workers, which can be bonding and 

Good point on the “housing provided” part…..it is often a form style setting or lots of people sharing.  Would your son do well sharing living/sleeping space with strangers, esp if they had different schedules than he did?

[DawnM]

3 hours ago, Eos said:

Has he looked at that site and seemed interested? I know a lot of young people who have had those jobs. The ones I know who work at NPS places get pulled together as a cohort which may or may not be appealing to your ds. It's great for extroverts who like being in a dorm and they develop the kind of us-vs-them mentality of tourist town workers, which can be bonding and fun.

Out of left field: do you have any land where he could run his own little https://www.hipcamp.com/en-US? Build it a website, respond to inquiries, clean and equip it.

Oh, bunking in a dorm type situation would be problematic.   I am going to reach out to a friend whose son worked in a national park and they allowed him to either live in the tents or put a trailer on the site for free to work there.   

We don't have land to do that with.   We live on over an acre but the city ordinances wouldn't allow that anywhere in our town.

[DawnM]

2 hours ago, Ottakee said:

Good point on the “housing provided” part…..it is often a form style setting or lots of people sharing.  Would your son do well sharing living/sleeping space with strangers, esp if they had different schedules than he did?

Nope!   😜

[Innisfree]

Is there any sort of freelance work he could do from home? Maybe related to his original field of study or his internship?

[Annie G]

1 hour ago, DawnM said:

Oh, bunking in a dorm type situation would be problematic.   I am going to reach out to a friend whose son worked in a national park and they allowed him to either live in the tents or put a trailer on the site for free to work there.   

We don't have land to do that with.   We live on over an acre but the city ordinances wouldn't allow that anywhere in our town.

I know people who are campground hosts and that might be something he could do. You check people in and out, be sure they set up in the assigned spot,  tell people to stop making noise if there are complaints, on checkout you make sure they left the site clean, and there’s no money exchanging hands. All that is done online before they arrive. Campground hosts bring their rv. A small one might be easy enough for you to afford for him.  I don’t recall whether the folks I know did it through a state park or national park, but that is easy to figure out. It’s not totally year round,  but he might enjoy the winter break.

[DawnM]

14 minutes ago, Annie G said:

I know people who are campground hosts and that might be something he could do. You check people in and out, be sure they set up in the assigned spot,  tell people to stop making noise if there are complaints, on checkout you make sure they left the site clean, and there’s no money exchanging hands. All that is done online before they arrive. Campground hosts bring their rv. A small one might be easy enough for you to afford for him.  I don’t recall whether the folks I know did it through a state park or national park, but that is easy to figure out. It’s not totally year round,  but he might enjoy the winter break.

That's a great idea.   I just found a few that allow you to park your own trailer.   Some require a $150 or so payment per month and some allow you to work off that $150 in hours of work.

I will mention it to him.   It might allow him to be closer to home and get some experience.

[KungFuPanda]

Would it work to subsidize an apartment for him near public transportation instead of building something on your property? Are there any businesses near you he could bike to? 

 

[catz]

I agree that it sounds like the current location isn't great for him to learn to spread his wings.  I do know some neurodiverse young adults that had a good exprience and really spread their wings through americorp FWIW.  Since he WANTS to leave home, I would prioritize that.  

These are theoretical questions you obviously don't need to answer, but how is he using his time right now?  Does he have social connections?  Does he have interest in finishing his degree program - maybe online?  A list of things he enjoys that might translate to a job?  Could anxiety and/or depression be in play that could use follow up?  That could translate as moodiness.  I do agree young adults with asynchonicity need some baby stepping at times.  My oldest was this way in some ways but something really clicked for him his last year or so of college.

Like you don't want to own his job search.  But scheduling a sit down twice a week on progress and setting goals and next steps.  Talking through reasonable compromises and expectations.  I might straight up give him a list of employers in range that are realistic for your driving abilities or his ability to get somewhere and hire at entry level.  Having any kind of work history is helpful moving forward and can open doors.  One thought is local landscapers or yard services, etc.  That might drive around as a crew could be a good fit?  Our urban parks program actually has a summer job program for teens and young adults to do park projects, but it would be late for stuff like this for this summer.

I also know families who uprooted to help baby step a young adult like this - moving to an area with transit, appropriate services in range, sometimes an appropriate group home plugged into employment that has more intensive scaffolding and OT, setting up a young adult in an aparment not too far adjacent to employment, etc..  

[Ausmumof3]

I’m sorry I haven’t read the whole thread so apologies if it has already been suggested but in Australia there’s an increasing demand for farm labourers and that often includes housing. You do work fairly independently although you need to be able to take directions to some extent. Is that something that is happening in the US or are those jobs mostly filled by migrant labour. (Here a lot of seasonal work is migrant but most farms have some long term employees as well. You do have to work your way through some crappy jobs sometimes before you get a reputation for being a reliable worker and get better opportunities).

Eta on rereading your post not driving would be an issue. If there’s anyway he would be able to work toward a license that would make a huge difference. There are driving instructors here that specialise in teaching kids with autism and anxiety to drive.

Edited June 10 by Ausmumof3

[baileygirl]

When I was college aged my dad tried to convince me to get a job in Washington state watching for forest fires over the summer. I liked to read, so he thought it would be something I would like to do. No idea if this type of job still exists, but I was under the impression you live on site.

[alisoncooks]

20 hours ago, DawnM said:

That's a great idea.   I just found a few that allow you to park your own trailer.   Some require a $150 or so payment per month and some allow you to work off that $150 in hours of work.

I will mention it to him.   It might allow him to be closer to home and get some experience.

I was just coming to recommend this. I know the state parks do it and so do some KOA’s (though the KOA host we met a couple of weeks ago had handyman duties, as well). They do things like help with trash pickup and make sure everyone follows the rules. We never had much interaction with the host at our local campground, but my dad always chats them up because he’s interested in the job. A lot do seem to return year after year, so you might have to search to find an open spot. 

[DawnM]

I am not going to address every question because some of it is just not what I care to share.   He does have significant depression.   He is on medication and has gone to years of therapy.   He isn't going now and refuses to.

As far as driving.   We have spent the last TEN YEARS trying to convince him to drive.  We have bribed, we have coached, we have pleaded, we have shown him the benefits.   He won't, so that is something that honestly just needs to be dropped until HE decides to do it.  

We just moved to where we live and have no plans to move.   We like having land and no HOA, moving closer to the city would ensure we have neither of those things.  This is ultimately our home and our choice and Andrew is an excellent school for his needs, so we will not move.   And unless he gets a secure job and keeps it for a few months, we will not be subsidizing any apartment for him.   The risk is too great.  He could work at some of that stores 2-3 miles away, but honestly, I don't think working in a store or restaurant will suit him.   He will have to work with too many people.

I am actually not taking over his job search, I just thought I could maybe get some ideas for him.   He actually doesn't want me too involved, which is very good because he has been too dependent on us in the past.   I am happy to see him maturing a bit and wanting to take some ownership.

 

[wintermom]

@DawnM Appologies if this was mentioned in the thread, but what kind of school is your ds attending? Is there a guidance counsellor at this school and some kind of supported job placements or a COOP program your ds could access?