Amethyst Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 DS30 has been engaged for over a year. They have not made much progress on planning the wedding. They want a small wedding. We’re talking 15-20 people small. Their original vision was a wedding at a rose garden near their apartment. Followed by a nice luncheon at a local restaurant. Sounds lovely. But they recently found out that yes, you can have a wedding at the rose garden, but you can’t reserve it. If other people are there having their wedding photos taken, you have to just wait. Fiancee also seems to be getting nervous about outdoor wedding. She also is not keen on the idea of not having chairs. Since she and her mom just bought her wedding dress, I know that it is a pretty traditional dress with a small train, so I have to assume she wants some elements of a traditional wedding. So DS brought the subject up to me yesterday. They seem like they are starting to make forward progress. They found a restaurant. But can’t figure out where to have a ceremony. Venues are outrageously expensive. It’s just a 10 minute ceremony. Our backyard has been offered but it’s a hill and not very picturesque since we refuse to do weedkillers. She suggested a church, but they don’t go to church, so why would they do that. Courthouse is so cold. She has names for florists and photographers, so clearly she expects something more than just a courthouse ceremony (which the courthouse near them doesn’t do anyway). So, I’m looking for some ideas for where to have a short intimate wedding, that’s not my backyard, not a church, but can be reserved. Any ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 This is such a local matter that it’s hard to make suggestions, but are there other gardens, small historic houses, parks with good views and shelters that can be reserved, anything like that? Places that make a business of weddings would probably be expensive, but there might be less-frequented places that would be open to letting them make a reservation. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 I would ask future DIL before doing anything. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 7 minutes ago, Amethyst said: DS30 has been engaged for over a year. They have not made much progress on planning the wedding. They want a small wedding. We’re talking 15-20 people small. Their original vision was a wedding at a rose garden near their apartment. Followed by a nice luncheon at a local restaurant. Sounds lovely. But they recently found out that yes, you can have a wedding at the rose garden, but you can’t reserve it. If other people are there having their wedding photos taken, you have to just wait. Fiancee also seems to be getting nervous about outdoor wedding. She also is not keen on the idea of not having chairs. Since she and her mom just bought her wedding dress, I know that it is a pretty traditional dress with a small train, so I have to assume she wants some elements of a traditional wedding. So DS brought the subject up to me yesterday. They seem like they are starting to make forward progress. They found a restaurant. But can’t figure out where to have a ceremony. Venues are outrageously expensive. It’s just a 10 minute ceremony. Our backyard has been offered but it’s a hill and not very picturesque since we refuse to do weedkillers. She suggested a church, but they don’t go to church, so why would they do that. Courthouse is so cold. She has names for florists and photographers, so clearly she expects something more than just a courthouse ceremony (which the courthouse near them doesn’t do anyway). So, I’m looking for some ideas for where to have a short intimate wedding, that’s not my backyard, not a church, but can be reserved. Any ideas? Do you have any nice state or city parks? Many of them will have a picturesque spot for photos, and allow you to reserve the pavilion or gazebo. This way you have a small area big enough for 20 people that is dedicated for a couple of hours allowing you to set up chairs. If not, do you know anyone who owns a farm that may have an area of lawn that is very pretty? Historical venues like museums and restored village buildings are often quite nice for weddings and can be preserved, however, they can also be pricey. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 Do check the city botanicals garden and park system. There may be a small limestone lodge that you can rent for less than $200 that can offer weather protection. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 Check if there are any small art galleries within a reasonable distance from the restaurant 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted January 22, 2023 Author Share Posted January 22, 2023 (edited) 20 minutes ago, Katy said: I would ask future DIL before doing anything. I would never DO anything. DS was looking for ideas for both of them. This is their wedding for them to decide. I’m just brainstorming here so I can give them some ideas to check into. Edited January 22, 2023 by Amethyst Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltopmom Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 (edited) Do they live near their colleges? We were married in the old chapel at my college. It wasn’t used for church services but rather ceremonies and concerts. Alumni paid a small fee to use. Edited January 22, 2023 by Hilltopmom 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 6 minutes ago, Hilltopmom said: Do they live near their colleges? We were married in the old chapel at my college. It wasn’t used for church services but rather ceremonies and concerts. Alumni paid a small fee to use. Great idea! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 (edited) Yes, colleges or parks can have affordable, small, quirky venues for stuff like this. Our UU church will rent out several spaces to anyone. They have a lovely small chapel that has beautiful windows but no Christian imagery. They also have a garden space and some small weddings flex location based on weather. Our local museums have some quirky spaces I know people have weddings at as well. Edited January 22, 2023 by catz 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer&Mom Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 Most churches require you to use their officiants, but we have some non-denominational churches that will rent their space for you to use with your own officiant, so you can have a secular ceremony in a pretty building. I looked at a lot of churches when we were planning our wedding, everyone had their policies very clearly stated on their websites, so you can poke around without having to talk to anyone. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toocrazy!! Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 Does the restaurant have a terrace or courtyard that could be decorated and reserved briefly? Or would the actual dinner room work with some twinkle lights and a makeshift wedding arch off to the side. Do you have a pretty library? City hall or courthouse? Even if the room isn’t the best, it could have pretty steps or an arch somewhere. One of the most memorable weddings I’ve been to was at a beautiful old library early in the day followed by brunch. A small local museum, art center. Any old houses in your area that people rent out. A local Airbnb with a view. An historic hotel? My niece is engaged and we’ve been talking about how much harder it is with all the choices. Used to be easy- your church or mine and the one reception place in town:) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1234 Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 My ds is getting married this fall and they also wanted super small but not just a courthouse thing. They were looking into the local arboretum and a nature conservatory that both offered some small indoor or outdoor spaces that weren’t crazy expensive. Several were between $500-$1500 for a few hours. They settled on an indoor space that’s all windows looking out over the grounds for $1000/2 hours. The actual ceremony will not be long but it allows for all the pictures to be done there as well without rushing. Then, we’re also just going to a local place to eat together. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 Most of my thoughts have already been mentioned, but also sometimes wineries/breweries or the like have spaces they'll rent for functions like this. And like someone else mentioned, yes, the ceremony is only 10 mins, but if they want photos, etc., time to decorate the space, all of that - that's why it's usually a block of a couple of hours 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarita Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 Look up just venues not wedding venues. 1) You can check out botanical gardens and nearby parks to see if they allow reservations. They may or may not be able to provide chairs but you can rent folding chairs. The chair rental place may have cute folding chairs or plain folding chairs or some sort of chair. 2) Regular venue not a "wedding venue". So I know there are nearby like veteran's buildings, library meeting rooms and stuff. The difference is they may not have cute furniture so you may have to rent or doll up the stuff they've got. 3) Apartment/condos may have a club house. They'll have decent furniture. It's cute. 4) Don't rule out the church/place of worship option. Some churches/places of worship will rent out their sanctuary or multipurpose spaces without you having to convert religion (it might be on their walls, but it has no significance for you). Some may officiate for you without a conversion. I've known some churches to view it as outreach. They know people are getting married in the world without joining their faith; they provide a traditional looking wedding for you and they give their mini-sermon on how God loves you during the ceremony. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 41 minutes ago, Clarita said: Look up just venues not wedding venues. 1) You can check out botanical gardens and nearby parks to see if they allow reservations. They may or may not be able to provide chairs but you can rent folding chairs. The chair rental place may have cute folding chairs or plain folding chairs or some sort of chair. 2) Regular venue not a "wedding venue". So I know there are nearby like veteran's buildings, library meeting rooms and stuff. The difference is they may not have cute furniture so you may have to rent or doll up the stuff they've got. 3) Apartment/condos may have a club house. They'll have decent furniture. It's cute. 4) Don't rule out the church/place of worship option. Some churches/places of worship will rent out their sanctuary or multipurpose spaces without you having to convert religion (it might be on their walls, but it has no significance for you). Some may officiate for you without a conversion. I've known some churches to view it as outreach. They know people are getting married in the world without joining their faith; they provide a traditional looking wedding for you and they give their mini-sermon on how God loves you during the ceremony. I was getting ready to post this as well. Check fellowship halls at churches. Or have someone go to the rose garden and stake out for the day before the wedding so it is theirs... doesn't help with the rain and is not really a nice thing to do. Go on a tour of your town or the towns nearby and see if there is anything charming that would work. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 (edited) 2 hours ago, Faith-manor said: Do you have any nice state or city parks? Many of them will have a picturesque spot for photos, and allow you to reserve the pavilion or gazebo. This way you have a small area big enough for 20 people that is dedicated for a couple of hours allowing you to set up chairs. If not, do you know anyone who owns a farm that may have an area of lawn that is very pretty? Historical venues like museums and restored village buildings are often quite nice for weddings and can be preserved, however, they can also be pricey. One of ours got married in a state park. Small, mostly family wedding. There was a little area with benches that could be reserved, which is where they had the ceremony. Then we went over to a small lodge where we had the reception meal, which was delivered by a caterer (a couple of friends were there to receive it and the cake, and to set things up). If the weather had been bad, the ceremony would have easily been moved to the lodge. It was very simple, sweet, and lovely. ETA: An advantage of this is that the areas were priced much more toward a family or group gathering than a wedding venue. Oh, and each guest group was given a parking permit for their vehicle beforehand. Edited January 22, 2023 by Jaybee 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 I have been to several weddings at golf courses..they have a banquet room that can be used for the wedding in case of rain. GC didn’t charge much extra for thr ceremony as long as the meal was there as well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 Really thinking outside the box here, but if it’s just 15-20 people plus the wedding party for a 10 minute ceremony, could the guests just stand in a circle around the couple? This could be done practically anywhere: museum, park, beach, maybe even the spot where the couple had their first date! For example, there are some lovely overlooks on the Blue Ridge Parkway near me that would have plenty room for a short, small group gathering, and the backdrop for photos would be amazing. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted January 22, 2023 Author Share Posted January 22, 2023 2 hours ago, Hilltopmom said: Do they live near their colleges? We were married in the old chapel at my college. It wasn’t used for church services but rather ceremonies and concerts. Alumni paid a small fee to use. ooh nice idea! But no. He went to college in our town which is only 1.5 hours away. But she went to school in her hometown (Florida -6 states away). He did his residency down there for 5 years so maybe they'd consider Gainesville. Not a bad idea. Or a gallery or museum in Gainesville - I like the gallery idea too. I'll suggest these ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted January 22, 2023 Author Share Posted January 22, 2023 6 minutes ago, I talk to the trees said: Really thinking outside the box here, but if it’s just 15-20 people plus the wedding party for a 10 minute ceremony, could the guests just stand in a circle around the couple? This was what my son had in mind when they were looking at the rose garden. But my daughter was there too, and she says fiancee wasn't keen on that idea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted January 22, 2023 Author Share Posted January 22, 2023 There are some great ideas here. I will suggest many of these! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 Someone else mentioned it but I was going to mention that clubhouse of an apartment/condo/housing development. I have been to a wedding in one of those. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 Also mentioning - a lot of smaller weddings at non traditional venues I am also seeing at non traditional times like a Sunday evening or morning or even a weeknight. If it is only a small group of people sometimes that can work. Just throwing that out there in case it opens up some venue options that might be booked or too expensive on a traditional Saturday. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 My dd wants to get married inside a library. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted January 22, 2023 Author Share Posted January 22, 2023 2 hours ago, Joker2 said: The actual ceremony will not be long but it allows for all the pictures to be done there as well without rushing. This is a good point that they’ll want some extra time for photos! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted January 22, 2023 Author Share Posted January 22, 2023 5 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said: My dd wants to get married inside a library. This would be so appropriate for DS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 1 hour ago, I talk to the trees said: Really thinking outside the box here, but if it’s just 15-20 people plus the wedding party for a 10 minute ceremony, could the guests just stand in a circle around the couple? This could be done practically anywhere: museum, park, beach, maybe even the spot where the couple had their first date! For example, there are some lovely overlooks on the Blue Ridge Parkway near me that would have plenty room for a short, small group gathering, and the backdrop for photos would be amazing. We did this for my grandfather's memorial service -- it was just family, and he was cremated, so we went to his favorite town and found a great spot and all met there, gathered around on a bench/a few benches, played some music, shared some stories, then my dad walked a little ways down and scattered his ashes. It was really lovely, and people who pulled up while we were there all kind of saw what was going on, politely waited in their cars &/or stayed off to the other side, and it didn't feel intrusive at all. We went right before sunset and then just sat and watched the sunset after, and it was so lovely. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 My dss and wife got married in a very small town at a very small venue. They got married on a Sunday which made the price much less. Seems like it was $250.it was really cute too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyforlatin Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 My friend is thinking of a small wedding and looking at Airbnbs with a large yard. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyforlatin Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 The other day Dd attended a college visit at a local cafe with the cutest backyard. The cafe closed the shop for about 2-3 hours. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 Our women's auxiliary rents their hall for $550 for half day. You can cater in there as well. I also found a church hall for $150 for 4 hours and I can cater in there as well. Our local park has a barn for rent for $50/hour for residents, $100/hr for non-residents. Our neighborhood rents the clubhouse (small) for $100 for several hours. I just started poking around and found some things. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Hopper Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 Any friends or family work for a company that has a fancy office building? Thinking a law firm or old insurance company or bank building - marble floors and columns, iykwim - someone may be able to arrange after business hours access for a small short ceremony. I love the library idea. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted January 22, 2023 Share Posted January 22, 2023 Our second dd wanted the church wedding but had a reception at a lodge at a city park. It would have been nice for a wedding because you rent the large log cabin-esque lodge and have the lovely open area with it with trees all around. So if the weather is nice, outdoor wedding, weather bad - indoor. If they are outdoorsy it also makes a nice theme. (Ours was where they had their first date/hike, and their honeymoon was backpacking in Colorado so quite fitting.) Is there something they do in particular as a couple? Museum lawn, planetarium, etc? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted January 23, 2023 Author Share Posted January 23, 2023 1 hour ago, DawnM said: Our women's auxiliary rents their hall for $550 for half day. You can cater in there as well. I also found a church hall for $150 for 4 hours and I can cater in there as well. Our local park has a barn for rent for $50/hour for residents, $100/hr for non-residents. Our neighborhood rents the clubhouse (small) for $100 for several hours. I just started poking around and found some things. Wow these are great prices. I started poking around and for smaller venues, the parks were saying $600/hr with 3 hr minimum. Not outrageous by some wedding standards, but $1800 for just a short ceremony and some pictures seems like a lot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amethyst Posted January 23, 2023 Author Share Posted January 23, 2023 (edited) 54 minutes ago, BlsdMama said: Our second dd wanted the church wedding but had a reception at a lodge at a city park. It would have been nice for a wedding because you rent the large log cabin-esque lodge and have the lovely open area with it with trees all around. So if the weather is nice, outdoor wedding, weather bad - indoor. If they are outdoorsy it also makes a nice theme. (Ours was where they had their first date/hike, and their honeymoon was backpacking in Colorado so quite fitting.) Is there something they do in particular as a couple? Museum lawn, planetarium, etc? Not outdoorsy. Kite flying, museums, cooking, tennis, bicycling Edited January 23, 2023 by Amethyst Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 23, 2023 Share Posted January 23, 2023 Our county park has some lodges for rent and it was about $250 for the day for my daughters wedding. Nice grounds but indoor space for bad weather….and flush potties 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted January 23, 2023 Share Posted January 23, 2023 9 minutes ago, Ottakee said: Our county park has some lodges for rent and it was about $250 for the day for my daughters wedding. Nice grounds but indoor space for bad weather….and flush potties Same here but they are reserved way in advance. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted January 23, 2023 Share Posted January 23, 2023 Our Plan B was to get married in a restaurant. DH and I had one wedding argument. It was whose side would a certain friend stand. We weren't having it in a church, so I had the brilliant idea to have him marry us (and be in the middle). Becoming an internet minister was super-easy and cheap. It was lovely. Between that and a few other things, we had no strangers at our wedding. Several years later, the same friend was getting married. Original plan had been 400 people in her home town in Mexico. Then Lockdowns postponed that, then because of immigration they had to get married quickly and they had it in the same restaurant I was thinking of. The restaurant was an old Victorian. Wedding was in one of the bigger rooms. Ceremony and reception in the same room. It was lovely! We had our wedding at the Elk's Lodge. Ballroom that would have fit a few hundred. $500. The good part came in with the caterer that was $12/pp for choice of Prime Rib or Salmon. This was in 2009. I'd been reading wedding advice stuff and I heard horror stories of practically no one RSVPing. So my plan B was to move the wedding to the restaurant and only tell those who RSVP'ed. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 23, 2023 Share Posted January 23, 2023 10 hours ago, Amethyst said: Wow these are great prices. I started poking around and for smaller venues, the parks were saying $600/hr with 3 hr minimum. Not outrageous by some wedding standards, but $1800 for just a short ceremony and some pictures seems like a lot I had to really dig for those. The "normal" venue rentals were that much here too. The venues I quoted were from extra digging, asking friends, calling around, posting on NextDoor.com, etc.... I will say that my friend's daughter had a budget of about $500 for the entire wedding. They found a tiny cute chapel and a florist/greenhouse place next door. They found out that if they used it on a Thur instead of a Fri or Sat, the cost was only $50. They had the ceremony, then walked next door to the florist for photos and had a small luncheon in the greenhouse with about 30 people. If you aren't on Next Door, I would join and ask there for starters, or any FB local group, etc..... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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