Spinoff. How long?

[Dianthus]

How long did your same gender kids share bedrooms?

[kokotg]

My middle two still share a room much of the time at 18 and 16; now that my oldest is at college the 18 year old sleeps in there when he's away, which has been less than it would have been because of covid. They're very close and have never complained about it. 

[LifeLovePassion]

They stopped at about 10 and 12 when the oldest wanted some space  and went to the unfinished basement.  We are close to finishing the basement so they are actually now back together again until that project gets completed.  The reuniting has gone well considering...they are 13/15 now. 

[YaelAldrich]

Wrong thread

Edited December 23, 2021 by YaelAldrich

[MrsMommy]

They won't stop until they move out.

[DawnM]

My oldest was about 10 or 11 when he decided he wanted some space.   Before that, all 3 boys shared a room.   

They now all have their own rooms.  The house we are in now has more bedrooms.   My dad has the finished studio apartment, my oldest turned a room that was meant to be an additional office into a bedroom.   It does not have a closet, although there is space to put one in where the door goes to the attic space from his room.   The remaining kids have official bedrooms.  So, our 5 bedroom home turned into a 7 bedroom home with the extra 2 being make-shift bedrooms.  😀

[Carrie12345]

First two when they moved out. #3 also got solo as a byproduct.   
The youngest two will be 15 and 11 when we move and they get their own rooms.

My parents rotated me and my sisters when we were growing up.   
I still see individual bedrooms for multiple kids as a luxury. One I wish I could have always given my kids, but I would have had to not have some of them to make that happen sooner. 

[Arcadia]

Until we can afford a larger home or kids move out. I have always lived in high cost of housing areas so growing up, I shared a bedroom with my brother until I marry and moved out. 

[Insertcreativenamehere]

If we had the space, we would give our two older boys their own bedrooms. But we don't, and we can't really put our younger DD and DS together, so the two older DS will share until one of them moves out. 

[JennyD]

My three sons have always all shared a room and will do so until they move out.   There isn't enough space in this house to them to have separate rooms, and we're not moving.  

 

[klmama]

They shared until another bedroom became available - so around age 17.  

[Loowit]

We got a house with four bedrooms a few years ago which is when they go their own.  Older DS was 15 and younger DS was 13 at the time.  Neither of them had expressed a desire for their own room until we moved, although it took youngest a while to get used to being on his own without his big brother.

My sister and I shared a room until we were in middle school.  I think I was 13 and sis was 14 when she decided she didn't want to share with me anymore.  Since she is the one who wanted her own space, she had to move out to the utility room.  It was a pretty large room, but not great as a bedroom IMO, but she was happy to have her own space.

My mom not only had to share an unfinished attic room with her sister, she also had to share a bed with her sister until she got married and moved out.

[Jaybee]

I shared with my younger sister until I was 15, but it would have been okay until I moved out for college. With our kids, some shared until they moved out (and still shared because they roomed together in college), and others were able to move to a room of their own before then. Our youngest two shared until they were 15 and 12, because then we had space for them to have their own. I see a private room with same gendered siblings more as a luxury than a necessity--great if they can have it, but nothing to feel guilty about if they can't. Even I share a room, lol. Generally speaking (aside from when one is a bully and abusive to the other/s), it is a good opportunity for negotiation skills and compromising skills to be developed.

[Momto6inIN]

Boys are in college and still share a room, they are roommates in their college apt 😊

When they are home, they share a room here too, as do the girls in varying configurations based on who needs more practice to learn to get along with who at any given moment.

[mom2scouts]

Mine shared rooms until they moved out. They didn't have any other options.

[DreamerGirl]

I shared a room with my brother till I left home for graduate school to come here which is early 20s. We had separate cots in the same room. If I had a sibling of the same gender we would have shared a cot.

It is very common in Asia where intergenerational living is a thing like my family of origin was and space is very limited as well as expensive. Land is very limited as well and the population is large so lots of people sharing close quarters is a given.

[SKL]

It is a luxury, but my kids got separate bedrooms when they were 8.  Their previous room was seriously tiny by US standards.  They still don't mind sleeping together and sharing space, but I wanted their new situation to work for them into adulthood should they choose to stay.

I slept in the same bed with my sister until I was 13 and got my own room.  TBH I hated bed sharing, because my sister moved around a lot in her sleep.  And I didn't like sharing a room either, because my sister was really messy.  But we were a big family living in a 2.5 bedroom house so ....

[Garga]

When oldest was 17 and youngest was 15. But only because we moved some rooms around in the house (stopped using a schoolroom.) Otherwise, they’d still be sharing.

[lewelma]

17.5 and 14. At which point my younger slept in the family room for 6 months until my older went to university. We have a small apartment (650sq ft), and their room was 6.5 feet by 9.5 feet (we can just squeeze the bed in on the short side). They had bunkbeds (obviously), so it was a bit squished. But my younger will not let us remove the bunkbeds even after 3.5 years of his big brother being gone, because he has such fond memories. 

Edited December 23, 2021 by lewelma

[Murphy101]

8 hours ago, Spirea said:

How long did your same gender kids share bedrooms?

18-22 years?   I mean I’ve shared my room for 30 so…. Not sure I get the issue?  My fourth born currently has his own room. And we have a guest room.  Oldest daughter and 2nd son and his best friend race to see who can claim it first during holidays so the other team doesn’t have to choose to room with younger siblings or stake out the sofa. Lol

[saraha]

Oldest was a boy, next was a girl. We’ve always had a three bedroom house so new siblings were tucked in to the right room as they came along. Turned out my boys were bookends, four girls in the middle. So oldest had his own room til 10 and then shared with little brother when until he moved out. He still sleeps on that room when he comes home for a weekend. The four girls have two sets of bunk beds in their room and will share til the move out since youngest is a boy.

[lewelma]

I met a Māori man once who was born in 1925 and had grown up in a poor rural family in NZ. He was the oldest of 13. They had a 2 bedroom home. His parents and the baby were in one room, and the other 12 were in the other -- 4 children/teens per bed, and a triple bunk to fit the beds in the small room.   

We are all so lucky to be wealthy enough to wonder about just 2 children sharing a room.

Edited December 24, 2021 by lewelma

[Dianthus]

1 hour ago, Murphy101 said:

18-22 years?   I mean I’ve shared my room for 30 so…. Not sure I get the issue?  My fourth born currently has his own room. And we have a guest room.  Oldest daughter and 2nd son and his best friend race to see who can claim it first during holidays so the other team doesn’t have to choose to room with younger siblings or stake out the sofa. Lol

We have 3 bedrooms and 4 kids. Ds10 and ds7 share. Dd12 and dd1 will soon be sharing. Dd1 is still in our room and still doesn't sleep through the night because she is in our room. The big age difference may be problematic but dd12 is still looking forward to dd1 sharing with her. Dd12 is a very sweet, unselfish child. Ds10 gripes that he doesn't have his own room. I don't know any other families with kids that share. Our house has an awkward floor plan with much wasted space. At least the bedrooms are all not small, but they are also not big enough to split and make another room. We have heated concrete floors so it is difficult to make changes to existing because of heating and plumbing. It is very difficult to have guests stay. I have to move 2 people out of their bedroom. At purchase, we planned an addition of new kitchen, dining and living area. Existing kitchen would be 4th bedroom and existing living would be family room. My husband insists that it is now impossible with increased building costs and will be at least $200k. A couple days ago, I floated an idea to convert part of the large garage, into living space. He is ruminating on it. We'd still need to add the kitchen. But this small addition would be much less expensive and we could convert the existing kitchen to a 4th bedroom. He would just have much less garage/workshop space. We are in a nice neighborhood with good property so it is difficult to move elsewhere, though I do watch what is available.

I'm tired of the boys fussing at each other at night, complaining the other is touching their stuff, and general battling between them. It's nice to know some people make it to adulthood. Hope we can manage whatever happens.

[prairiewindmomma]

They still are…and will be until they move out. With the HCOL here we aren’t rushing them. Most families in my neighborhood are multigenerational.

Edited December 24, 2021 by prairiewindmomma

[Miss Tick]

My dds share, and I don't expect that to change before odd leaves for college. They seem to love it, odd quizzes ydd on her spelling words before reading out loud from whatever book they are reading together. They could separate if they wanted to, but it would take a bit of work and isn't worth it. All 3 of mine shared until puberty, they all have pretty easy-going personalities. 

[Murphy101]

26 minutes ago, Spirea said:

We have 3 bedrooms and 4 kids. Ds10 and ds7 share. Dd12 and dd1 will soon be sharing. Dd1 is still in our room and still doesn't sleep through the night because she is in our room. The big age difference may be problematic but dd12 is still looking forward to dd1 sharing with her. Dd12 is a very sweet, unselfish child. Ds10 gripes that he doesn't have his own room. I don't know any other families with kids that share. Our house has an awkward floor plan with much wasted space. At least the bedrooms are all not small, but they are also not big enough to split and make another room. We have heated concrete floors so it is difficult to make changes to existing because of heating and plumbing. It is very difficult to have guests stay. I have to move 2 people out of their bedroom. At purchase, we planned an addition of new kitchen, dining and living area. Existing kitchen would be 4th bedroom and existing living would be family room. My husband insists that it is now impossible with increased building costs and will be at least $200k. A couple days ago, I floated an idea to convert part of the large garage, into living space. He is ruminating on it. We'd still need to add the kitchen. But this small addition would be much less expensive and we could convert the existing kitchen to a 4th bedroom. He would just have much less garage/workshop space. We are in a nice neighborhood with good property so it is difficult to move elsewhere, though I do watch what is available.

I'm tired of the boys fussing at each other at night, complaining the other is touching their stuff, and general battling between them. It's nice to know some people make it to adulthood. Hope we can manage whatever happens.

I think it’s important that they have their own space in their rooms.  Can it be better organized to make that happen?  It’s important that everyone in a small space can trust everyone else to respect the shared space and personal possessions. Kids bicker when they don’t have help working out how to manage the relationship - they aren’t born just knowing how to navigate relationships.  What, exactly, is he wanting his own room for?

We always told our kids that they can have their own room when I can have my own room.  😜It doesn’t much matter what other people are doing. We aren’t raising or living with other people.

Even the kids that seemed to need more space when they lived here don’t seem to have really wanted it. All my grown kids openly say they don’t like even the idea of living alone.  Even the kids who have their own apartments have lots of company and visit others a lot.  Most of them have roommates. 

[Dianthus]

1 hour ago, Murphy101 said:

I think it’s important that they have their own space in their rooms.  Can it be better organized to make that happen?  It’s important that everyone in a small space can trust everyone else to respect the shared space and personal possessions. Kids bicker when they don’t have help working out how to manage the relationship - they aren’t born just knowing how to navigate relationships.  What, exactly, is he wanting his own room for?

We always told our kids that they can have their own room when I can have my own room.  😜It doesn’t much matter what other people are doing. We aren’t raising or living with other people.

Even the kids that seemed to need more space when they lived here don’t seem to have really wanted it. All my grown kids openly say they don’t like even the idea of living alone.  Even the kids who have their own apartments have lots of company and visit others a lot.  Most of them have roommates. 

Before reaching this stage, I thought it ideal to share with a sibling, I was youngest with a big age gap and didn't do well being alone so much. I thought sharing a room would keep kids out of trouble. Not at this age! I think the boys have the largest room. Their beds are on opposite sides with a lot of space between. Mostly, they taunt each other, I can never figure out which instigated, probably both. It then becomes a chase, then all hell... ha.

Edited December 24, 2021 by Spirea

[Tanaqui]

This is a big house for one family. It's technically a two family house with a semi-finished basement and attic! So as soon as either of them wanted to stop sharing, they had a room to go to.

I did the same when I was a young adolescent - just packed up my stuff one day and moved into the otherwise disused front room.

[Tap]

Once the aggravation of dealing with a different sleep schedules, made it annoying for one of them. Our house had 3 bedrooms, but we also have a family room, living room and bonus room that we used for a classroom. When dd15 came to live with us, we needed another room. We converted the classroom, using the classroom full of  bookcases to create walls. We made it into 3 smallish areas: a bedroom/storage area/laundry room. 

Now that I am down to one kid at home, the bonus room is getting converted back to a bonus room. But oddly enough since it is just the two of us, I no longer need the extra living space.  OY! 

Edited December 24, 2021 by Tap