Farrar Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 (edited) nm Edited July 5, 2019 by Farrar 2 22 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loowit Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 I am so sorry. A book that I got for my children when they were younger and we had a few deaths in the family was God Gave Us Heaven. I thought it was a very good and the kids really liked it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Oh, I am so sorry. I don't have any book recommendations for you, just wanted to say that I'm sorry and will pray for this family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 How totally shocking this must be...a broken leg. Hugs! "Grief is a Mess" by Jackie Schuld is pretty good and acknowledges that grief is painful but necessary and helpful in working through the loss. I don't recall it having Christian references, though. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 I'm very sorry, too. What a terrible tragedy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 The Tenth Good Thing about Barney by Judith Viorst is a good book. Prayers for your family. Hugs for you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 oh my! What a sad and unnecessary tragedy. Praying for the family. I'm right there with you about being conflicted. My friend is going to be buried near her family on Saturday- 8hrs away. It is just too far. And I would need to be back by Sunday afternoon, fresh and ready to go for a gig. It was a hard decision but I.just.can't make it work. I think I understand your feelings. I think your cousin will completely understand too, especially if you send her a lovely note with a book inside. I have no recommendations about that though. Hugs. I would consider sending another "thinking of you" note in about a month. This is such a shock for her, she probably won't remember who is and isn't at the funeral. She may really appreciate knowing that people are thinking of her down the road. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyD Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Oh my goodness, how awful. I don't have any books to suggest but I am so sorry about this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 One book that she might like is It's Not Fair: Learning to Love the Life You Didn't Chose by Melanie Dale. It isn't specifically on grief but covers it along with just how to survive life when your life is in turmoil. I sip read this book twice after my husband (no ex) was arrested. It is Christian but not preachy at all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 I wish I knew. My husband's brother passed away this week, he also has a child about that age. Is there a book maybe with paintings of heaven? Or a book with beautiful nature photos and comforting scripture? A beautiful blanket or quilt you could offer as a symbolic hug to wrap around herself? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted July 4, 2019 Author Share Posted July 4, 2019 (edited) nm Edited July 5, 2019 by Farrar 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Praying for your family, Farrar. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Oh, gosh, Farrar, I'm so sorry!!! (((all the grieving loved ones)))) I can't think of anything an 8yo child would read that would help her in any way. Sorry. 😞 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaBelle Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Wow, that is awful. If you can manage it, go. I think you might regret not going, but even if it's hard to go you might be glad you did. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 I'm so sorry, and I am praying for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 I would at least consider in addition to or in place of a book on grieving, just a nice care package with NON-grief related books. Things that could transport her into another story for a few minutes. Maybe a few light titles, then a funky notebook with some gel pens and stickers, maybe a keepsake box. Maybe some very simple craft kits that mom wouldn't need to help with. The only thing really that will help her through it is going to be her mom and close family, and having activities that mom can direct her to may allow mom to recharge her batteries for a few minutes here and there. Just an idea. I'm so sorry for this family, what a shock. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Sending prayers to your family. A broken leg in a younger person leading to death is so unbelievably sad. Going to be honest and say I am not a good funeral person and generally do my best to excuse myself but it sounds like your cousin might be really grateful for your support. She sounds like she is rather alone............ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 I would hold off on the book for a little while. She will be too raw at the moment. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Wow that is terrible. FWIW I lean toward going. But no judgment from me if you can't make it. 😞 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen A Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Re going or not--are there lots of other people there now for support? Would you consider going to visit in a month or two? It might be a better time for you, and there would be more time with them. You could work on a project together that's hard for her to do herself and just be a distraction, maybe. I have found this equally as helpful as attending a funeral, depending on circumstance. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 That is so sad... I'm very sorry. I think a book is a lovely idea. I probably wouldn't get a Christian-themed book that relates to the subject. It'll all be raw and confusing no matter what. But I think a lovely picture book, maybe with some sweet classic children's poems, or a sweet story with engaging pictures, would be a nice distraction for her. Just the other day I saw a book on Alice in Wonderland that was somewhat simplified with the most beautiful old-fashioned pictures. Raggedy Ann and Andy books are very colorful and fun and can take one into another world. I can't really remember the age-range of those books, but I'm pretty sure I read them for many years when I was a child! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 Go or don't go, but don't send a children's book about death. That's overstepping, imo. Thoughts and beliefs vary so much, people grieve in different ways, and you aren't even close to them. Send a stack of other books if you'd like. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 Oh my goodness. I am so, so sorry. And this is really upsetting me because this is the 3rd broken leg situation that has ended in tragedy that I have known about in just a matter of a couple of months. The last was my son's friend, broke his leg skateboarding, his mother found him unconscious, age 20, and thankfully he did not die, but he has permanent brain damage (40% of his brain affected) and will never be the same. The other was a student's mother, who did pass away in her sleep, broken leg. I don't have any book suggestions, but I will be praying for your cousin and the family. And just something to think about. When my cousin's wife passed away I asked him if I could come out later, several months later, and just spend time with him when he might need it more. He liked that idea and it worked out well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa B Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 On 7/3/2019 at 10:11 PM, maize said: I wish I knew. My husband's brother passed away this week, he also has a child about that age. Is there a book maybe with paintings of heaven? Or a book with beautiful nature photos and comforting scripture? A beautiful blanket or quilt you could offer as a symbolic hug to wrap around herself? My cousin lost her husband to cancer when their daughter was three. She had a blanket made for her daughter from one of those online card websites (Snapfish, Shutterfly, etc.) with about a dozen pictures of her husband, husband with daughter and the three of them together. It's been about three years and her daughter still sleeps with it every night. She calls it her Daddy blanket. Her daughter was obviously younger, but the blanket is very special to her. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*LC Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 I hate this for your cousin and family. I don't have any advice for you on whether or not to attend the funeral. I believe attendance at funeral is super important. However, being there after the funeral is even more important. And, that can even be done long distance. Cards throughout the years for birthdays, anniversaries (wedding and death date), days his absence will be particularly missed (graduations, holidays,) Be the one that remembers. In addition to cards, texting and emailing makes it super easy for people who have drifted apart to reconnect. Simply send her a quick/short text/email daily for six months/a year/whatever saying you are thinking about her, hope she can sleep, etc. Mention her husband by name. She may need a safe person to vent to. I don't have a book to recommend. I would recommend a grief group or camp or both for her daughter. This will help her daughter to know she is not alone in being without a dad. Even today, people often assume there are two parents. Many hospice programs have weekend camps. There are other groups that have week-long camps, that would work for next summer.) (Plus, counseling if it is affordable to your cousin.) The hive could help you find a group/camp close to your cousin. In addition to the blanket mentioned above, there are groups that will make teddy bears out of a loved-one's clothing. My kids made pillows out of favorite shirts. I am not sure how you would do these things long-distance though. You might be able to send gift-card for the blanket/stuffed animal, but your cousin is going to be swamped with things to do and she may not follow-through. Don't let awkwardness stop you from being there for your cousin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeachyDoodle Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 I am torn on the question of sending a book. I don't think it's completely inappropriate, but I do think it depends a lot on your cousin and her family how it would be received. You know them, and I think you are equipped to make that decision. If you do decide to send one, this one is beautifully done and based on a lovely old hymn: Lord, I Love Thee with All My Heart. It doesn't get into any explanation, just the words of the hymn and a story told in pictures, so perhaps it would be less likely to be at odds with their theology. I know a number of families it has helped. Prayers for your cousin and her child in this time of deep suffering. Lord, have mercy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted July 5, 2019 Author Share Posted July 5, 2019 (edited) nm Edited July 5, 2019 by Farrar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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