How are you doing on your bucket list?

[mommyoffive]

Do you have one?  What is on it?  

Before I had kids I want to do things like run a marathon.  Not that I really wanted to run the marathon, just that I thought it would be cool to say I have done it .

After kids my list shrank a ton.  Only things were on it were just traveling places.  I think that I have one thing left that we could easily get done next year.   Those were things that I wanted to do for decades and either they are done or almost.  

What do you do then?   Do you add small things that are not really that important to you?  I feel like adding these little things are kind of meaningless to me.  I feel a little lost now honestly that the things I have wanted to do forever I have done.    Anyone in this boat with me? 

[hjffkj]

I have never had a bucket list. But my thought is if you are already done your bucket list, maybe you didn't think big enough! :)

[mommyoffive]

4 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

I have never had a bucket list. But my thought is if you are already done your bucket list, maybe you didn't think big enough! ?

 

I feel like I did.  Traveling for me was out of the question when I was a kid.  We only did a few domestic trips.  Getting out to see our bucket list places was such a huge dream.  All the places I dreamed of traveling we have except for one.   There are a lot of other places now that I learn about that I think oh that would be nice to go to.   But they are not places I have thought of and dreamed of for a long time.

Honestly everything that was on my list is done.  Be a mom.  Own a home.  Get married. I don't have dreams of starting a huge biz or getting high up in a career.  

[PrincessMommy]

I don't have a bucket list either.  I think it's because I'm not a very goal oriented person.  There are places I'd like to visit someday - but my understanding of bucket lists is that they encompass more than travel.  

If I were the type of person to do bucket lists I think they would change and evolve over time.   If these types of life-goals are something you enjoy perhaps give it time and some new ideas will come to you.

 

[Matryoshka]

I have never had a bucket list either.  But I have some thoughts anyway... 

Do your goals have to be one-and-done, or could you think of something that you could continue to do?  My mom (and she drags my dad along) is a huge traveler.  She's always planning her next trip.  So, it's not 'I'll travel there and it's checked off' - she's always having something to plan/look forward too (honestly at almost 81 I kind of wish she'd slow down already, but this seems to be part of what keeps her going...).  Oh, and her gardening.  She's always planning new beds and adding stuff.

For myself, I'd always looked at people rowing on the rivers and thought that looked like fun but figured it was something I'd never get to do.  But I happened upon a learn-to-row program and turns out that for me it's every bit as fun as it looked and I've been rowing for a number of years now and hope to continue till I'm old.

[madteaparty]

Making it through the day is the depth of my bucket list. 

As I get older, more opportunites/possibilities are removed and this is very freeing.

a lot of the travel type things I already did this year.

 I do want to write a book, though! 

[mommyoffive]

4 minutes ago, PrincessMommy said:

I don't have a bucket list either.  I think it's because I'm not a very goal oriented person.  There are places I'd like to visit someday - but my understanding of bucket lists is that they encompass more than travel.  

If I were the type of person to do bucket lists I think they would change and evolve over time.   If these types of life-goals are something you enjoy perhaps give it time and some new ideas will come to you.

 

 

Hmm never heard the rule on that.  Mine did have other things on it.  I think as a kid it was get married, have kids, own a home.  

Before I had kids it did have other things.  Like I wanted a certain career.  I wanted to run a marathon.  But as I had kids more of those things just came off my list because they were not important to me any more. 

[mommyoffive]

2 minutes ago, madteaparty said:

Making it through the day is the depth of my bucket list. 

As I get older, more opportunites/possibilities are removed and this is very freeing.

a lot of the travel type things I already did this year.

 I do want to write a book, though! 

 

See for me it is the opposite feeling.  I don't feel free, I feel kind of lost. 

[mommyoffive]

7 minutes ago, Matryoshka said:

I have never had a bucket list either.  But I have some thoughts anyway... 

Do your goals have to be one-and-done, or could you think of something that you could continue to do?  My mom (and she drags my dad along) is a huge traveler.  She's always planning her next trip.  So, it's not 'I'll travel there and it's checked off' - she's always having something to plan/look forward too (honestly at almost 81 I kind of wish she'd slow down already, but this seems to be part of what keeps her going...).  Oh, and her gardening.  She's always planning new beds and adding stuff.

For myself, I'd always looked at people rowing on the rivers and thought that looked like fun but figured it was something I'd never get to do.  But I happened upon a learn-to-row program and turns out that for me it's every bit as fun as it looked and I've been rowing for a number of years now and hope to continue till I'm old.

 

Yep I do that, but I guess it isn't as exciting for me to just go to a place that I haven't been dreaming of for years.  

[PrincessMommy]

10 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

 

Hmm never heard the rule on that.  Mine did have other things on it.  I think as a kid it was get married, have kids, own a home.  

Before I had kids it did have other things.  Like I wanted a certain career.  I wanted to run a marathon.  But as I had kids more of those things just came off my list because they were not important to me any more. 

I don't think of those as bucket lists.  I think of those as personal goals or life-choices.  When I think of bucket lists I think of things that are extras  such as jumping out of a plane or hiking the AT.

[Matryoshka]

6 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

Hmm never heard the rule on that.  Mine did have other things on it.  I think as a kid it was get married, have kids, own a home.  

Before I had kids it did have other things.  Like I wanted a certain career.  I wanted to run a marathon.  But as I had kids more of those things just came off my list because they were not important to me any more. 

Hm.  I never thought of those things as a 'bucket list', rather as 'life goals'.  For a while in my late 20's I was feeling like I wasn't going to get to do any of those things, so I started working on "Plan B", which would be a life without getting married and having kids and all that, and how could I make that happy and fulfilling.  But then Plan A worked out after all.

I think it sounds like much more like you're at the place a lot of us are, where the kids are getting grown, and that sense of purpose is fading, and thinking 'now what?"  There have been many threads on here about figuring out what to do when the kids are grown, and finding purpose for the rest of your life.  It's different for everyone and often requires a bunch of soul-searching and flailing about... 

[Ravin]

I still have a bunch of things on my bucket list:

1. Peace Corps. (Have to wait until DS is 18 for that one)

2. Live in an RV (may have to wait until I'm widowed for that one).

3. Visit Mongolia (I traveled in the Navy when I was young; Mongolia is about as far from here and from somewhere you can get by ship as there is).

4. Cultural pilgrimages to Europe (Spain and UK mostly). I'd like to find where my ancestors came from, walk in their footsteps if I can.

5. Visit the graves of my grandparents (in California, Hawai'i, and...I need to ask my dad where his mom was buried. Might be Kansas?)

6. Go back to Saipan, which is hands down the most beautiful place I've ever seen in my life.

7. Go to Mexico, because it's ridiculous that I've been all the way around the world (literally) but haven't been to the nearest other country to my own home state!

8. Climb Mt. Fuji, because I'd planned to before 9/11/01 changed the schedule for my last months in the Navy (forward deployed out of Japan).

Edited October 10, 2018 by Ravin

[mumto2]

One of my friend’s Dh has a long bucket list of places which seems to frankly suck the fun out of many occasions imo.  He found it in a book and they never seem to be able to just go somewhere and enjoy it, frankly they can’t go and decide the adventure isn’t for them and end up someplace slightly different either.  They have to find a certain location etc.  It seems to be a constant “treasure hunt” and seems stressful. Photo is a requirement.

Dh and I had a goal to move to the UK in our 40’s for roughly 3 years.   Our actual move looked far different, as in I am not in London and we didn’t wave the UK goodbye in three years.  But we accomplished the goal to our satisfaction but I wouldn’t call it bucket list.

There are things I would love to see and do but no master list.  

[Pawz4me]

I've never had a bucket list and really don't get the idea at all. But IRL I'm a quiet person who highly values living a peaceful, low stress life (which for the most part I've already been able to create). So that certainly may be a big part of it. I can understand why others would have one. Ironically, DH was always the type to have one. When he was diagnosed last year with stage IV cancer he pretty much did a 180 on it, though. He realized most of the things he thought he wanted to do really aren't important to him at all.

[SKL]

I don't think I have an official bucket list.  But I guess it might be fun to make one, as long as I didn't get too attached to it.

• Read all the books on those Must Read classic lists - though some are excruciating!  I'm probably around 75% at this point.
• Visit all the states in the US.  About 67% at this point.  Visiting Hawaii this winter.
• I have a few countries I haven't been to but want to.  Like Japan, Hungary, and the Netherlands.  It would be fun to go to Antarctica (which would be my 7th continent) if the cost wasn't so ridiculous.
• Solve Rubik's Cube without cheating.  (I only recently developed this interest and I think there is a chance, LOL.)
• Get my black belt.  Right now I am about 1/4 way between brown and cho dan bo.
• Learn how to play the guitar - jazz and classical.
• Right now I am signed up to run a 5K in November, though I am not sure how much actual running will be involved.  (I used to be such a fast and strong runner, but I never ran organized races.  And now I am old.)
• Always wanted to go hang gliding, sky diving, bungee jumping (the kind where you jump off a bridge).  Having kids has made those seem less attractive, but maybe once my kids are grown and I'm not gonna live much longer anyway, it will rise higher on the list.

Right now I mostly just want to launch my kids successfully.  But it's healthy to think of these other things even if we can only spend 0.1% of our time on them.  ?

[madteaparty]

Oh, I will learn how to scuba dive in the next 12 months. I’m sick of my family adding sports I can’t participate in, and dangerous ones at that. I tried learning how to ski but it was a miserable fail full of LOLz and I hope there’s no video of it somewhere.? I’ve mastered the apres ski though!! ???

[SKL]

Oh, I always wanted to ice skate.  But the last time I went roller skating with my kids (6 years ago), I fell on top of both of them in front of the whole school / church.  Worst thing is that I was the only one laughing.  So when my kids got to try ice skating in Madrid, I felt it was safer for all involved if I watched from the sidelines.  ?

[KrissiK]

I had one. I should dig it out. One thing I remember was walking on a beach in an evening gown with a handsome man in a tux. I actually did that. Though it wasn’t romantic. I was in a wedding in San Diego and my escort and I were hunting down the bride and groom who were taking pictures on the beach. So. Technically, yes, I did that.... I was in a fancy dress, the guy was quite handsome and in a tux...???

[duckabell]

I'm currently working on my 101 goals in 1001 days list. This was some idea that I found online. What I like about it is that it's a mix of larger and smaller goals and there's a day that it ends. Some of my goals are really simple like read 3 history books, complete a 30 day yoga challenge, do 10 hours of stand up paddleboarding, buy a jean jacket, etc. Some are a little bigger like get a passport and travel to a foreign country, learn 5 songs on the guitar, write an adult short story, etc. I have my goals divided into sections like family, education, talents, service, social, house projects, etc. I find that when I'm bored I can refer to my list and see if there's any small goals I can knock out. 

[Guest]

I have often written life goals or even vision boards. “Bucket List” didn’t become a familiar term until the movie of that name came out. They morph over time and I don’t necessarily write a specific list over again; I just become aware that there is a new or different thing I want to do.

Oftentimes, the things I want to do will just have to wait until the thicket of raising kids has cleared. Quite a bit of my things are travel-related, but they are not always merely going a certain place; it’s about what I plan to do in combination with the travel. (Like, for example, not just go to Italy, but take a class on pasta-making while there.) 

I cannot imagine coming to a point where I felt like I had done all the things I wanted to do. I would simply come up with new things. 

[lynn]

Pretty good actually.  My list this past few years were mostly health related.  I checked off run in a half marathon, this year.  I got back down to the same size as in my 20's.   Went back to work.  Start back motorcycle riding with my husband.  Got to go back to Tucson with dd this past summer.  The last 10 years i took up running.  Went on cross country and a new England trip.  There are several more things I want to do but all in good time.

[Jean in Newcastle]

My bucket list is "be open to new opportunities".  In the last couple of years I have gone to a mystery party.  I always wanted to do that and even though I didn't know anyone going and felt a bit nervous about it, I went and had a blast. .   I have spoken to a multi-church women's thing and am scheduled to speak again next month.  I went on a 9 day trip to the Southwest US and back.  And my newest endeavor - being the director of (and helping to start) a nonprofit.  None of these things were planned or wished for but I was open to new opportunities 

[Selkie]

I don't have a bucket list, but I did come up with several life goals when I was younger:

Make sure the man I marry will be a great dad. (done)

Create a happy, stable family, free of the chaos I grew up with. (done)

Build a house on a big piece of land, way out in the country. (done)

Be a stay-at-home mom. (done)

Provide a home for as many rescue dogs as possible. (done - we have had up to 16 dogs at a time)

Have my own little herd of horses. (done)

 

As my kids got a bit older, another goal became:

Get my kids out of the crummy local schools. (done)

 

Now that my kids are almost up and out, my big dream is to start a horse rescue. There is such a huge need. However, it would take a mountain of cash and a small army of volunteers, so it remains to be seen if this dream will ever actually happen! 

 

 

[mommyoffive]

2 hours ago, Matryoshka said:

Hm.  I never thought of those things as a 'bucket list', rather as 'life goals'.  For a while in my late 20's I was feeling like I wasn't going to get to do any of those things, so I started working on "Plan B", which would be a life without getting married and having kids and all that, and how could I make that happy and fulfilling.  But then Plan A worked out after all.

I think it sounds like much more like you're at the place a lot of us are, where the kids are getting grown, and that sense of purpose is fading, and thinking 'now what?"  There have been many threads on here about figuring out what to do when the kids are grown, and finding purpose for the rest of your life.  It's different for everyone and often requires a bunch of soul-searching and flailing about... 

 

Bucket list or life goals are the same to me.   

My kids are far from grown.  I don't even have a teen yet.  It isn't that I feel I don't have a purpose, I feel like being a mom is my purpose it isn't fading anytime soon.  Maybe I am alone in feeling like this. 

[mommyoffive]

1 hour ago, Quill said:

I have often written life goals or even vision boards. “Bucket List” didn’t become a familiar term until the movie of that name came out. They morph over time and I don’t necessarily write a specific list over again; I just become aware that there is a new or different thing I want to do.

Oftentimes, the things I want to do will just have to wait until the thicket of raising kids has cleared. Quite a bit of my things are travel-related, but they are not always merely going a certain place; it’s about what I plan to do in combination with the travel. (Like, for example, not just go to Italy, but take a class on pasta-making while there.) 

I cannot imagine coming to a point where I felt like I had done all the things I wanted to do. I would simply come up with new things. 

 

Maybe I am doing a poor job of explaining how I feel.  The things that I really had interest in I have either done, or don't want to do any more.  Yes I still want to travel places, but the places I have dreamed of for decades I have been.  Except for one. 

Do I want to go other places, sure.  But not that I have been dreaming of for decades.  Just oh that would be cool to see this or go there. 

[Garga]

I read something a while ago about bucket lists that stuck with me.  It was a suggestion that the bucket list shouldn't only be adventure/travel/experience items, but it would be nice to include some items on the list about helping others.  

I just now tried to find the article I'd read in the past and can't, but here's one that's sort of the gist of what I'd read.  He's a touch bit harsh at the beginning of the article which turns me off, but I do like the 6 items he lists to add to bucket lists.  Since I can't find the original article, this one will have to do.

I like the idea of having a bucket list with both adventures/experiences for myself, but also having items that are about doing things for others.

[SKL]

2 minutes ago, Garga said:

I read something a while ago about bucket lists that stuck with me.  It was a suggestion that the bucket list shouldn't only be adventure/travel/experience items, but it would be nice to include some items on the list about helping others.  

I just now tried to find the article I'd read in the past and can't, but here's one that's sort of the gist of what I'd read.  He's a touch bit harsh at the beginning of the article which turns me off, but I do like the 6 items he lists to add to bucket lists.  Since I can't find the original article, this one will have to do.

I like the idea of having a bucket list with both adventures/experiences for myself, but also having items that are about doing things for others.

I used to have a rule that I spent at least 1 hour per day doing charity / volunteer work.

When I became a mom, I soon found that I could not continue the level of work and I dropped most of it, always intending to get back into it.  It has gradually ramped up.  I still don't average an hour a day, but it's probably good to think in those terms again.

[J-rap]

I suppose I had a vague, unofficial bucket list.  I've done some of the things on it I suppose (I got to spend 6 weeks in Africa a couple years ago!), although mostly not in a big way.  

As I get older, I more and more just want to do as much as I can to make a positive difference in the lives of others.  And if I leave the people I love in a mentally good place before I die, I'll be very content.

 

 

Edited October 10, 2018 by J-rap

[Tap]

Never had one, and never will.  As I age, my life is closing in on itself more than opening up,  With my own back injury, cascading incomes vs increased cost of living, 2 daughter with significant health issues means my days are more about getting food to the table than wasting time setting unattainable goals.  What I hope for is a better future for my kids and helping them achieve their goals and dreams.

[Ottakee]

I don't have an official bucket list but last year I did have the goal of visiting all 38 county parks in our county and we did that .....and even made the newspaper for our endeavors.

This year I managed to paddle board.  Not great and not long but I didn't get wet.

Another goal of mine was to do some real hiking.  I did my first 6 miles a few weeks ago including a bit on the North Country Trail (which is longer than the Appalachian trail)  Next summer I hope to backpack overnight.

I have goals of traveling but now that I am single parenting it and will need a full time job soon I am not sure how that will work out.

Edited October 10, 2018 by Ottakee

[Jean in Newcastle]

50 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

 

Bucket list or life goals are the same to me.   

My kids are far from grown.  I don't even have a teen yet.  It isn't that I feel I don't have a purpose, I feel like being a mom is my purpose it isn't fading anytime soon.  Maybe I am alone in feeling like this. 

I thought that you were just asking a simple question but this makes me think that there is more behind this. Of course your availability for “extra adventures “ are going to shrink with young kids. But as your kids do become teens your opportunities will expand.  And as you get into middle age (like me) the reality of kicking the bucket and getting certain dreams fulfilled will become more focused. And possibly (to add onto what Quill is saying)  you will see specific ways that you can give back based in your life experience and talents. 

[Lori D.]

I'm more of a "carpe diem" person than a "bucket list" person. Probably because the further in life I've gone, the more I find that expectations (like, bucket list life goals) are more often than not "disappointed expectations" -- ie., don't happen, can't be "forced" to happen, or are unexpectedly not so great after all if they do happen. In contrast, I'm finding that making the most of the opportunities that present themselves each new day, being grateful for unexpected blessings, focusing on pouring out on others, and saying "yes" to all kinds of things that pop up in life unexpectedly has made for a lot of joy -- or at least a bit of a fun roller coaster ride out of daily life. (:P

[Lady Florida.]

8 hours ago, PrincessMommy said:

I don't have a bucket list either.  I think it's because I'm not a very goal oriented person.  There are places I'd like to visit someday - but my understanding of bucket lists is that they encompass more than travel.  

If I were the type of person to do bucket lists I think they would change and evolve over time.   If these types of life-goals are something you enjoy perhaps give it time and some new ideas will come to you.

 

I've never had a bucket list but all of the above makes sense to me. 

7 hours ago, Pawz4me said:

I've never had a bucket list and really don't get the idea at all. But IRL I'm a quiet person who highly values living a peaceful, low stress life (which for the most part I've already been able to create). So that certainly may be a big part of it. 

This is me too so maybe it's why I don't have and am not interested in having a bucket list. I just want to live life, enjoy being around loved ones - both friends and family - and feel like I made a difference in their lives. If I get to do fun things or travel to cool places that's great but those aren't my main desires in life. I do get that other personality types are different and I don't look down on anyone who has a bucket list. It just isn't my thing. 

[Murphy101]

I never really had a bucket list until this year.  The last few years have been rough, but this one has turned my whole life upside down.  And that's caused me to have to consider things I never bothered much with before beyond light hearted dinner conversation.

Yes, my list includes travel, but I e always enjoyed that and it's not so much about the travel as about what I'm doing in those locations.

I enjoy stretching my knitting ability, so going to Vancouver in October is on my list.  And turns out there's a lot there of interest to me.  Great food, history, art, water and woods and garden explorations.  Who knew scuba diving in Vancouver is best October - December?  

A friend wanted a scuba partner so she's paying for me to go to Cozumel with her for a week of scuba diving and Mayan ruin touring.  So excited.

I am trying to get healthier not as abucketitems itself but because many things I want to do require I be healthier to fully enjoy.

I adore hanging out with my friends and family and doing new things together.  I find the world interesting to explore with them.

But left to my own without goals or if I wait until when I can do it with Dh or whatever, I'll just shuttle kids around, drink copious amounts of coffee, and end up doing nothing but Netflix and knitting.  Which isn't bad and is my idea of a good party, but i don't want to spend the rest of my life waiting for the "time to be right" because it has never been right in 45+ years and I don't think it ever really will be.

 

[TechWife]

I don’t have a bucket list. I try not t have expectations too far n advance, it messes with my ability to be content with my current life situation.

[Liz CA]

15 hours ago, madteaparty said:

Oh, I will learn how to scuba dive in the next 12 months. I’m sick of my family adding sports I can’t participate in, and dangerous ones at that. I tried learning how to ski but it was a miserable fail full of LOLz and I hope there’s no video of it somewhere.? I’ve mastered the apres ski though!! ???

 

Next on the list for you: snowboarding!  ?

[Liz CA]

I guess I do a sort of reverse bucket - thanks for blessings list.

We got kayaks this year and I have enormously enjoyed them - wish we had done it sooner.

We are healthy (as far as we know) - big blessing

We have paying jobs - another blessing

We live in a fairly nice area of the country - climate is pretty favorable most of the time

As a kid I always wanted dogs and a horse - did that. 

Now and then I toy with getting another degree but is it really necessary and what would be the return on this investment at my age?? Burt I love to learn. So I go back and forth on this one.

We're not sure if we are in our last house or not - it may turn out that there is one more move - not exactly a bucket list item for me but more for dh.

We traveled quite a bit when we were younger through military and by ourselves. But there are places that tempt us occasionally.

Edited October 11, 2018 by Liz CA

[Liz CA]

13 hours ago, mommyoffive said:

 

Maybe I am doing a poor job of explaining how I feel.  The things that I really had interest in I have either done, or don't want to do any more.  Yes I still want to travel places, but the places I have dreamed of for decades I have been.  Except for one. 

Do I want to go other places, sure.  But not that I have been dreaming of for decades.  Just oh that would be cool to see this or go there. 

 

So you found that the anticipation was more fun than the fulfillment of your dreams? I get this feeling now and then.

[Guest]

This may or may not go along with this discussion, but one thing I have been doing is making sure I do/experience/go somehwere or do something I have never done before at least once per month. It could be a big thing, like traveling to another country, or a small thing, like stopping into a bakery and trying one of their pastries. So far this year, I have taken pictures of my new experience each month, but I have an idea to create a type of annual journal with pictures and some of my thoughts each month. 

I did decide this month that the new experience has to be a pleasant one; fighting a new health challenge doesn’t count! ?

[madteaparty]

6 hours ago, Liz CA said:

 

Next on the list for you: snowboarding!  ?

???oh man if you had seen me try to ski. 

[madteaparty]

10 hours ago, Murphy101 said:

I never really had a bucket list until this year.  The last few years have been rough, but this one has turned my whole life upside down.  And that's caused me to have to consider things I never bothered much with before beyond light hearted dinner conversation.

Yes, my list includes travel, but I e always enjoyed that and it's not so much about the travel as about what I'm doing in those locations.

I enjoy stretching my knitting ability, so going to Vancouver in October is on my list.  And turns out there's a lot there of interest to me.  Great food, history, art, water and woods and garden explorations.  Who knew scuba diving in Vancouver is best October - December?  

A friend wanted a scuba partner so she's paying for me to go to Cozumel with her for a week of scuba diving and Mayan ruin touring.  So excited.

I am trying to get healthier not as abucketitems itself but because many things I want to do require I be healthier to fully enjoy.

I adore hanging out with my friends and family and doing new things together.  I find the world interesting to explore with them.

But left to my own without goals or if I wait until when I can do it with Dh or whatever, I'll just shuttle kids around, drink copious amounts of coffee, and end up doing nothing but Netflix and knitting.  Which isn't bad and is my idea of a good party, but i don't want to spend the rest of my life waiting for the "time to be right" because it has never been right in 45+ years and I don't think it ever really will be.

 

I went back to work recently and it’s been such a cutting-down-to-size experience that I really don’t need to challenge myself any further other than another day is a day I didn’t quit or cry more than three times ?. I’m like the 40 year old intern but of course no one knows that and they expect me to act like my law school graduation year indicates. Netflix and knit would be so nice right around now. My homeschooling mom friends keep inviting me to crafting events and I’m like, hmm, my time is not my own anymore, it’s spent banging head against the wall. 

But! On a more positive note, would Cozumel be a good place to learn scuba diving, you think? My people learned in Thailand but that’s a bit far and anyway I’m not a fan. 

 

[J-rap]

16 hours ago, Lori D. said:

I'm more of a "carpe diem" person than a "bucket list" person. Probably because the further in life I've gone, the more I find that expectations (like, bucket list life goals) are more often than not "disappointed expectations" -- ie., don't happen, can't be "forced" to happen, or are unexpectedly not so great after all if they do happen. In contrast, I'm finding that making the most of the opportunities that present themselves each new day, being grateful for unexpected blessings, focusing on pouring out on others, and saying "yes" to all kinds of things that pop up in life unexpectedly has made for a lot of joy -- or at least a bit of a fun roller coaster ride out of daily life. (:P

I love this!  Yes, make the very best of what you have, and the unexpected opportunities that come your way.

[Murphy101]

21 minutes ago, madteaparty said:

I went back to work recently and it’s been such a cutting-down-to-size experience that I really don’t need to challenge myself any further other than another day is a day I didn’t quit or cry more than three times ?. I’m like the 40 year old intern but of course no one knows that and they expect me to act like my law school graduation year indicates. Netflix and knit would be so nice right around now. My homeschooling mom friends keep inviting me to crafting events and I’m like, hmm, my time is not my own anymore, it’s spent banging head against the wall. 

But! On a more positive note, would Cozumel be a good place to learn scuba diving, you think? My people learned in Thailand but that’s a bit far and anyway I’m not a fan. 

 

 

Cozumel is one of THE best scuba diving locations in the world and yes, you can take a scuba certification program while there.  But you can scuba almost anywhere.  Every state has some kind of scuba club that could hook you up with the best info on getting certified closer to wherever you are.

I like knitting and crocheting because it’s cheaper than therapy or prison and I can take it anywhere with me when I’m on the go everyday. And unlike many crafts, it’s quiet and usually results in a useful item for many years of use.  But I’m not at all offended if someone doesn’t want to craft. 

 

[Murphy101]

2 hours ago, Quill said:

This may or may not go along with this discussion, but one thing I have been doing is making sure I do/experience/go somehwere or do something I have never done before at least once per month. It could be a big thing, like traveling to another country, or a small thing, like stopping into a bakery and trying one of their pastries. So far this year, I have taken pictures of my new experience each month, but I have an idea to create a type of annual journal with pictures and some of my thoughts each month. 

I did decide this month that the new experience has to be a pleasant one; fighting a new health challenge doesn’t count! ?

 

I love this idea and am trying to do something similiar myself. Well not the picture thing because that’s a given for me as I take hundreds of pictures on my phone every month already.  ?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Large categories of my life went out of my control at a fairly early age. I got sick when I was around 21 and never got better. I had been offered some pretty significant opportunities before that- I was actually offered a straight from B.A to PHD track overseas with tons of challenge and opportunity to change the world. I couldn’t accept that after all. In fact I couldn’t do most regular jobs for awhile. Being sick for over 30 years has meant that money that could have gone to travel or fun activities has gone to doctors instead. Though even if I had the money my body couldn’t handle learning to ski or most great sightseeing vacations etc. I say this not as a “poor me” but to point out that bucket lists are something for those privileged with money and health to some degree. 

Now I do believe in “blooming where you’re planted”. I think that there is a lot to appreciate in even unlikely places. And I recognize that I am still very blessed. I was not planted in the slums of Rio de Janerio for example. 

My “take opportunities as they are presented “ resolutions happened a couple of years ago because I realized that I had gotten afraid of stepping outside my comfort zone. And it wasn’t healthy for me. My fears weren’t social ones but I was afraid of embarrassing myself by not being able to physically handle different things. Stretching myself has been good for my body and my soul. (Now no-one has offered me things that were too much of a stretch or maybe I just ignore the opportunities to climb mountains etc!). 

[PrincessMommy]

I like the Seize the Day attitudes that both Murphy and Jean talk about.   If I look back, it is a bit how my life has gone.  I have friends who are much more goal oriented and would gravitate towards goal-setting/bucket lists.   That's how I learned to make soap in '98 (yes, I remember the year lol).  My dear friend had a friend who was a soaper.  She was doing colonial America in homeschooling at the time and said to me, "C is going to teach me and the kids how to make soap, wanna come?"  My reaction was, "That sounds cool, why don't we do it at my house."   We did it the "old fashioned way", which meant slowly stirring a pot of oil/lye for 20-45 mins.  My friend hated it.  I fell in love with it and have been soaping ever since (and made a new friend).  But, I never would have put something like that on a "to do" list or thought it was something "fun" to do.  There's been a few other instances like that.  Things just kind of happened or fell in my lap.  

With weaving it was something that I wanted to learn for several years, but I was waiting until the kids were older and I was almost done homeschooling before I actually took the plunge.  

[Liz CA]

42 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Large categories of my life went out of my control at a fairly early age. I got sick when I was around 21 and never got better. I had been offered some pretty significant opportunities before that- I was actually offered a straight from B.A to PHD track overseas with tons of challenge and opportunity to change the world. I couldn’t accept that after all. In fact I couldn’t do most regular jobs for awhile. Being sick for over 30 years has meant that money that could have gone to travel or fun activities has gone to doctors instead. Though even if I had the money my body couldn’t handle learning to ski or most great sightseeing vacations etc. I say this not as a “poor me” but to point out that bucket lists are something for those privileged with money and health to some degree. 

Now I do believe in “blooming where you’re planted”. I think that there is a lot to appreciate in even unlikely places. And I recognize that I am still very blessed. I was not planted in the slums of Rio de Janerio for example. 

My “take opportunities as they are presented “ resolutions happened a couple of years ago because I realized that I had gotten afraid of stepping outside my comfort zone. And it wasn’t healthy for me. My fears weren’t social ones but I was afraid of embarrassing myself by not being able to physically handle different things. Stretching myself has been good for my body and my soul. (Now no-one has offered me things that were too much of a stretch or maybe I just ignore the opportunities to climb mountains etc!). 

 

I can relate to this. The recent years have not improved my back issue and I am beginning to weigh what travel / flights etc. I can still do and what I cannot. This is a whole new turn of events for me as even 5 years ago, I would have never wondered about this.

[Tina]

On 10/10/2018 at 12:05 PM, Garga said:

I read something a while ago about bucket lists that stuck with me.  It was a suggestion that the bucket list shouldn't only be adventure/travel/experience items, but it would be nice to include some items on the list about helping others.  

I just now tried to find the article I'd read in the past and can't, but here's one that's sort of the gist of what I'd read.  He's a touch bit harsh at the beginning of the article which turns me off, but I do like the 6 items he lists to add to bucket lists.  Since I can't find the original article, this one will have to do.

I like the idea of having a bucket list with both adventures/experiences for myself, but also having items that are about doing things for others.

Yes, it can include things like mission trips or donating a large amount to an organization or similar things. 

We are working our way through visiting all the presidential libraries. 

Trips- I would love to rent a big house for a vacation somewhere with all my grown kids and their families-- several times since only one's married. lol

Quilting. I've started on the fabric collection. 

Learning about herbal remedies, and other health options.  Recently started learning about homeopathy.

My mom has a hundred things she's wanting to learn about, and she's 80.  That's the attitude I want!

 

Edited October 19, 2018 by Tina

[KungFuPanda]

I’m not a bucket list person, but I am a bit like a border collie. If I don’t have something to work on I get dissatisfied. I need to have something to learn and work on that consumes my brain and body. It can be big or little.

I became a belly dancer, then a dance teacher. I had so many interesting experiences and met wonderful people doing that. I learned to knit, then put it aside because dance always took precedence. I feel I’ll pick that back up when I’m older. Lately I’ve become obsessively interested in building things and now I’m stalking Ana White online and own a Kreg Jig. I’ve built garden boxes, shelving for my shed, and have a list of things I wanna make next. I’m trying to pace myself because each piece has a learning curve and I’m trying to do them in order of difficulty. Still, I have a ridiculous urge to build an outdoor sofa RIGHT NOW. I’m find it very satusfying to put my effort into something that I can see that doesn’t disappear or need to be done again the next day. I’m not happy when I’m just doing the mom/wife/homeschooler thing. I’m glad I did it for my kids, but it’s a lot of invisible work that doesn’t grow ME as a person. 

Lately I’ve been toying with doing some part time work. I just want to be out of the house working with people I like. I’d like to try NOT teaching or working with children. My degree is Elementary Ed, so I’d have to get creative. My DS is in his final year of High School, so I need to wrap up Year 17 of homeschooling and start a new chapter. 

[G5052]

I once had a bucket list about five years ago, but as life unfolded, I decided that it was causing discontent in my life, so I let it go. I've been looking for full-time work for a year and am in the process of reinventing my middle-aged self, so that's my primary focus of late.

I'm another that is working hard to find the good in every day. This morning I took a walk with my dog and enjoyed the changing trees. Then I did errands and ran into two friends. Little things like that bring joy and are worth treasuring.