Explain to me

[Scarlett]

How you cannot know your only child goes to Vo tec classes in the morning vs the afternoon.  Said child has had this schedul for 2 years.  

I just texted my xh an invitation to our son's vo tec graduation.  The invitation says one time for the morning kids and one time for the afternoon.  He said 'his is the afternoon, right?'

Seriously disconnected.  And he wonders why our son isn't close to him. 

 

[Rosie_0801]

It could be worse.

[Scarlett]

2 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

It could be worse.

Yes, of course.  

When you don't know the most basic things about your kid.....it does speak to a disconnect right?

[Rosie_0801]

1 minute ago, Scarlett said:

When you don't know the most basic things about your kid.....it does speak to a disconnect right?

 

Obviously. But he's a grown man and he's allowed to choose to suck at relationships...

[Rosie_0801]

1 minute ago, Medicmom2.0 said:

I don’t think so.  If he didn’t know the kid went to votech, I would say that’s disconnected, but if he’s not getting the kid to and from school, or actively involved in the school, I don’t think it’s too disconnected to not know which session your child attends.

My husband is pretty connected to my kids overall and lives in the same house, but if he wasn’t the one taking the kid to votech or something else, I can easily see him not knowing if it was morning or afternoon.  But my kids don’t talk about school at home much, either.

My oldest has been at the school the kids attend for four school years now.  DH rarely does pick up, but the other day he did and literally texted me at 2:30 and asked when it was. He’d been sitting there since 2:15, aomehow completely missing after all these years pickup is at 2:40.

 

Sure. Nobody knows everything about their child. Nobody cares about every aspect of their child's life. This is just the latest manifestation to bug Scarlett.

[Kassia]

14 minutes ago, Medicmom2.0 said:

I don’t think so.  If he didn’t know the kid went to votech, I would say that’s disconnected, but if he’s not getting the kid to and from school, or actively involved in the school, I don’t think it’s too disconnected to not know which session your child attends.

My husband is pretty connected to my kids overall and lives in the same house, but if he wasn’t the one taking the kid to votech or something else, I can easily see him not knowing if it was morning or afternoon.  But my kids don’t talk about school at home much, either.

My oldest has been at the school the kids attend for four school years now.  DH rarely does pick up, but the other day he did and literally texted me at 2:30 and asked when it was. He’d been sitting there since 2:15, aomehow completely missing after all these years pickup is at 2:40.

 

I agree with this.  My DH is very close with our kids but he's not involved so much with their schedules and usually doesn't know where they need to be or when.  If he had to be than he would - he's responsible, but their schedules aren't a priority for him and that's fine.  And, like your DH, he would have no idea what time pick-up would be without asking me. 

[Scarlett]

18 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

 

Sure. Nobody knows everything about their child. Nobody cares about every aspect of their child's life. This is just the latest manifestation to bug Scarlett.

He has actually turned out to be an ok xh.  He gives me no grief.  He is paying for college. He is taking Ds on a nice vacation for graduation.  He brings no women into Ds's life.  But I still can't wrap my mind around him not knowing that Ds leaves my house every morning at 7:30 and gets home from school at 11:30 and goes to work at 2:30 and gets off at 5:00.  I mean he meets him for dinner twice a month....he knows he is coming from work on those days.  

Maybe it is a small thing.....but yes it bugs me. 

[2_girls_mommy]

6 minutes ago, Kassia said:

 

I agree with this.  My DH is very close with our kids but he's not involved so much with their schedules and usually doesn't know where they need to be or when.  If he had to be than he would - he's responsible, but their schedules aren't a priority for him and that's fine.  And, like your DH, he would have no idea what time pick-up would be without asking me. 

Yep, mine lives in the same house.   But I am the schedule keeper. He naturally is not organized like that, works odd, irregular hours, so can't keep up with his own schedule half of the time. THere is no routine to his life. I on the other hand cannot stand no routine. So I have had to keep routines to keep my sanity on my own and live with the fact that I don't know day to day which meal he will be home for. I make plans. He joins us if here, etc. Each week we just touch base and he asks me what is going, tries to fill me in on the highlights of his week and we try to coordinate. If he can help me by picking up one day I tell him. Oh you are off that afternoon? Good, I have a meeting at church. You pick up so and so at this time and go home or meet me at x, y, and z. That day we will touch base again. I will remind him again what I need him to do. 

On his own, he has a general idea of what the kids do, even what day of the week, but I bet he doesn't know times either. 

[Scarlett]

5 minutes ago, 2_girls_mommy said:

Yep, mine lives in the same house.   But I am the schedule keeper. He naturally is not organized like that, works odd, irregular hours, so can't keep up with his own schedule half of the time. THere is no routine to his life. I on the other hand cannot stand no routine. So I have had to keep routines to keep my sanity on my own and live with the fact that I don't know day to day which meal he will be home for. I make plans. He joins us if here, etc. Each week we just touch base and he asks me what is going, tries to fill me in on the highlights of his week and we try to coordinate. If he can help me by picking up one day I tell him. Oh you are off that afternoon? Good, I have a meeting at church. You pick up so and so at this time and go home or meet me at x, y, and z. That day we will touch base again. I will remind him again what I need him to do. 

On his own, he has a general idea of what the kids do, even what day of the week, but I bet he doesn't know times either. 

I can't imagine your husband would not know if your child left the house every day at 7:30 and returned at 11:30. 

[TheReader]

I definitely think there's a big difference between an otherwise very involved dad/dh who's clueless about schedules (mine is) and a dad/xh  who is very obviously disconnected from his son, and this is just one more small (but big) manifestation of same. 

I'm sorry, Scarlett. It must hurt your momma heart to see this kind of disconnect between your x and your ds. I can imagine it's painful to watch, when a simple thing could go a long way to helping repair or restore their relationship (or improve, etc.).  ((hugs)) to you and your ds. I'm glad your x is at least (hopefully) making an effort to go to the graduation for your son. 

[Wheres Toto]

8 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I can't imagine your husband would not know if your child left the house every day at 7:30 and returned at 11:30. 

 

Mine wouldn't know because he leaves for work between 6:30 and 7am and gets home around 4pm.   Unless he was regularly involved in drop-off or pick-up, I wouldn't expect him to know.  I seriously doubt he knew what time my daughter went to school or came home, and she lived here 1/2 the time.

He knows what days we aren't here when he gets home from work because the kids are at TKD, and he knows the nights we need to eat dinner early for 4-H but those are because they happen when he is here and he needs to know since he makes dinner.  And actually we had a meeting last night and he thought it was tonight, so he isn't even 100% on the schedule that directly affects him (he's my co-leader as well as cooking dinner before we go).   

On the other hand, dd's father did know her schedule because he had to make sure she got there on time and pick her up during his weeks.  But he was still a lousy father and she sees him as little as she can get away with now that she's on her own.

[Scarlett]

3 minutes ago, TheReader said:

I definitely think there's a big difference between an otherwise very involved dad/dh who's clueless about schedules (mine is) and a dad/xh  who is very obviously disconnected from his son, and this is just one more small (but big) manifestation of same. 

I'm sorry, Scarlett. It must hurt your momma heart to see this kind of disconnect between your x and your ds. I can imagine it's painful to watch, when a simple thing could go a long way to helping repair or restore their relationship (or improve, etc.).  ((hugs)) to you and your ds. I'm glad your x is at least (hopefully) making an effort to go to the graduation for your son. 

 

I wouldn't tell Ds his dad didn't know his schedule.  Ds knows enough...I don't have to tell him all I know. 

Yes xh is coming to the graduations.....both vo tech and high school.  But again he was shocked to learn of the location of the high school graduation.  It is a virtual school and far from where we live.  

It actually doesn't hurt me...it pisses me off.  I dont know what the heck is wrong with men who don't know the most basic things about their kids.  My apologies to those of you  whose dhs know nothing of their children's schedules.  I find it weird.  I mean don't you know your Dhs schedules? 

[Scarlett]

Yeah I really don't buy that your husbands would not know if your high school kid was attending morning or afternoon vo tech classes for two full school years.  I am not saying he would know the exact start and end times....but morning vs afternoon?

[2_girls_mommy]

23 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I can't imagine your husband would not know if your child left the house every day at 7:30 and returned at 11:30. 

LOL, it wouldn't totally surprise me. ?

[Ravin]

DH barely knows his own schedule. I'm fuzzy about what it is because he didn't put it in the calendar this semester. He knows when things he has to be responsible for are (school, cub scouts) but has been known to forget what day of the week it was if something threw him off (like me being home on a day I regularly work). But then, he has sleep apnea and hasn't had a good night's sleep (by most people's definition) in decades I don't think.

Today I talked to an individual who wasn't sure how to spell his own kids' names. It could definitely be worse.

[Tanaqui]

While I understand that in your case that you're complaining about this is just a tip of the iceberg, it's entirely possible for involved parents to not know the minutiae of their kids' schedules - especially if they don't live with the kid.

[Scarlett]

I am frankly shocked that so many of you are fine with your dhs not knowing the very basic schedule of your kids. I am not talking about knowing exact start and stop times.bit surely your husbands are aware if your high school kid leaves for class every morning at 7:30.  Even if he leaves at 6:30......does it never come up,that little Johnny or Susie leaves the house every morning?

[Tanaqui]

But he doesn't live with his son, does he?

Heck, my kid's got a variable schedule where some days school runs until 4:30 and other days it runs until 3, and I still can't remember which days are which after a year of this. I'm constantly turning around and saying "WOW, you're home already!?"

[Scarlett]

No he doesn't live with him. Which in my mind would make him even more interested in the exact schedule. 

Obviously though, I am the outllier. 

[TheReader]

1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

 

I wouldn't tell Ds his dad didn't know his schedule.  Ds knows enough...I don't have to tell him all I know. 

Yes xh is coming to the graduations.....both vo tech and high school.  But again he was shocked to learn of the location of the high school graduation.  It is a virtual school and far from where we live.  

It actually doesn't hurt me...it pisses me off.  I dont know what the heck is wrong with men who don't know the most basic things about their kids.  My apologies to those of you  whose dhs know nothing of their children's schedules.  I find it weird.  I mean don't you know your Dhs schedules? 

 

Hurt, pissed off, either way, I was trying to say I understand it bugs you. And I said nothing about telling your son that his dad doesn't know the schedule; I understand completely not adding to the damage. 

As for still-married husbands not knowing schedules, or involved fathers not knowing schedules.....my husband is insanely involved, but still has to ask the exact times of our kids' various obligations. He knows the basic days, and yes, more or less knows the morning/afternoon thing, but day to day he mixes things up, doesn't know the exact time, etc. Even things that have been the same day/time for a year or more, he knows the general idea and that's about it. He's not physically present in the day-to-day (because he's at work) so he doesn't know the exact times, and because he *is* an involved dad, I'm okay with that.  I can understand how, in a pattern of an already strained relationship, this would be a different kind of thing and would be a problem. But in a healthy relationship.....it's not a bi deal, at all, that he doesn't know the exact schedule. I'm the schedule-keeper, not him. I don't know when to water the plants, or for how long, but he does. That's his job. Point being -- in a healthy relationship, we all have different roles, and that's okay. In a damaged relationship, things can seem like a wound that wouldn't be otherwise. And that's okay. 

[TheReader]

4 minutes ago, Tanaqui said:

But he doesn't live with his son, does he?

Heck, my kid's got a variable schedule where some days school runs until 4:30 and other days it runs until 3, and I still can't remember which days are which after a year of this. I'm constantly turning around and saying "WOW, you're home already!?"

Ha! Yes, this too. Every.single.morning. I have to ask myself what day it is and set the schedule in my head -- is this the day he gets done at 1:30, or 3:30? And I'm the one driving him! LOL! 

[Scarlett]

Well, yes, I could see a parent who isn't in the trenches not knowing exact times., I still can't wrap my head around a parent who doesn't know if their kid goes to class am or pm. 

[RootAnn]

See, I'm the more clueless person. While I usually keep up with my kids' schedules, I would absolutely not be able to keep up with DH's schedule if it wasn't on the calendar AND I didn't live with him. Days? Nights? Days-but-training (different hours)? And he's been doing this schedule for about five years.I can't always remember who has what online class when - which is why I have schedules posted all over - for ME. 

[Tanaqui]

I can't wrap my mind around caring if it doesn't affect your life.

Caring about what classes he's taking, sure. Caring about his grades and the social life, absolutely. But the time of day? Yeah... whatever.

[Rosie_0801]

4 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Well, yes, I could see a parent who isn't in the trenches not knowing exact times., I still can't wrap my head around a parent who doesn't know if their kid goes to class am or pm. 

 

Let it go, Love. It's not harming your son in any new way and you're generating emotion about it that neither of them are bothering with themselves.

[Scarlett]

2 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

 

Let it go, Love. It's not harming your son in any new way and you're generating emotion about it that neither of them are bothering with themselves.

You are right. My son cares not one bit. He is fine.  That is all that matters here. 

[Scarlett]

5 minutes ago, Tanaqui said:

I can't wrap my mind around caring if it doesn't affect your life.

Caring about what classes he's taking, sure. Caring about his grades and the social life, absolutely. But the time of day? Yeah... whatever.

How the man who helped me make this kid deals with said kid absolutely affects me. 

[TechWife]

1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

 I mean don't you know your Dhs schedules? 

True confession. Sometimes I have to look at the calendar to figure out what city/state/country my husband is in. I usually feel like a heel when it happens, but in my defense, his schedule changes a  lot.  In your situation, I think I’d be annoyed, though. School/work is pretty much the centerpiece of a child’s life. It does seem like basic info.

[Clemsondana]

2 minutes ago, TechWife said:

True confession. Sometimes I have to look at the calendar to figure out what city/state/country my husband is in. 

This made me laugh - tonight when I was at kid's ball practice, a parent asked where my husband (who often takes kid to practice) was...and I didn't know.  I always know what time zone he's in, but...well, the difference between him being in Baltimore or Boston is minimal as far as how it affects what's going on at home  He knows the parts of the kids' schedules that he handles when he's home - scouts, for instance - but I'm the one who knows how it all fits and remembers all of the pieces because I'm the one who has to manage it all and make it happen in his absence.  But, there are other things that I don't worry about at all and when we chatted tonight and I told him that we'd gone out for some celebratory ice cream, he was able to guess what each of us ordered, down to the cake cone/sugar cone/cup choices.  I think that we both tend to jettison information that we don't need to remember because somebody else is responsible for it...it's why he knows everybody's social security number (he does most insurance-type paperwork) and I know everybody's sizes (I do almost all shopping)...and we both remember food preferences, which probably says something about our priorities.  

[Scarlett]

that is just it.  Xh has always let me be responsible for Ds.  

[TechWife]

2 minutes ago, ClemsonDana said:

This made me laugh - tonight when I was at kid's ball practice, a parent asked where my husband (who often takes kid to practice) was...and I didn't know.  I always know what time zone he's in, but...well, the difference between him being in Baltimore or Boston is minimal as far as how it affects what's going on at home.

Ah, a kindred spirit!! I don’t feel so alone now. My husband is operating 14 hours ahead of me this week and in a different hemisphere, so it’s been a bit odd! 

[Mimm]

Eh. My husband can barely keep track of my schedule. I think he just compartmentalizes. "This is a thing Mimm handles. That means it's information I don't need to hold on to." He's a wonderful, involved father.

[Tanaqui]

Quote

How the man who helped me make this kid deals with said kid absolutely affects me. 

 

The past two years, you didn't know he didn't know this. So it clearly doesn't affect you.

And the fact that he doesn't know this hasn't affected him one little bit, which is what I meant. If my kid's schedule doesn't affect my life at all, why would I learn it? I mean, if they care, sure, I'll try - but why would they care if I know if I don't need to?

[Bootsie]

Last year DH and DS drove together to campus as DH taught a class and DS took a class at the exact same time.  DH would do something like schedule a doctor's appt. for DS at 10:00am on Thursday morning.  I would say, "Doesn't he have class then?"  and DH would respond "I don't know, when are his classes?"  So, I could easily see DH asking whether DS was in the morning class or the afternoon class.  So, DH could easily ask if DS was in the morning or afternoon session even though he was highly involved in DS's life.  

[rebcoola]

I can't remember Dh's schedule he doesn't remember ours. That's why we have synced calendars and alarms. 

[Melissa in Australia]

3 hours ago, Scarlett said:

Well, yes, I could see a parent who isn't in the trenches not knowing exact times., I still can't wrap my head around a parent who doesn't know if their kid goes to class am or pm. 

Well my DD WHO has been going to UNI since Feb could not tell me today if her class was am or pm today. She had to look it up. She has been doing this same class every Wednesday !!!!

[teachermom2834]

My dh would ask that question. If I walked him through it he would realize that of course he knows if it is morning or afternoon. But in the moment it was much easier to ask me than to think it through. It is annoying but he is in the habit of just relying on me for all that. Not because he is a jerk but because it is my role and I am really good at it. He is very distracted by work and he is time management challenged. So he has to think about it and then he second guesses himself and it is easier to just ask me. He has picked our kids up from activities multiple times and still asked me where the activity is located. Drives me nuts. But he just isn’t focused on it and he just wants to make sure. One of those guys that can manage important stuff at work but fumble around the kid schedule.

But I would also do something like change dance studios without consulting him. I’d mention the change but he wouldn’t really be involved so the info wouldn’t necessarily stick. 

It annoys me because I get weary of answering questions that he does or should know the answer to. I am sure it would drive me up a wall if it was an ex. 

[Guest]

8 hours ago, Scarlett said:

I can't imagine your husband would not know if your child left the house every day at 7:30 and returned at 11:30. 

Mine can’t even remember what time we leave for church, though he goes every week. He’s just not aware of schedules and times of things. 

Matter of fact, he was annoyed with me last night because I went to Book Club without specifically reminding him. He came home and I was gone. It irks him. 

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

 

Let it go, Love. It's not harming your son in any new way and you're generating emotion about it that neither of them are bothering with themselves.

This is what I was going to suggest. It’s one of the things I was just reading about in the book Unoffendable. Any time you find yourself saying, “I can’t believe...!” about the actions or words of others, you’re setting yourself up to stew in your own juices. 

 

[mom@shiloh]

9 hours ago, Scarlett said:

Yeah I really don't buy that your husbands would not know if your high school kid was attending morning or afternoon vo tech classes for two full school years.  I am not saying he would know the exact start and end times....but morning vs afternoon?

Well, yes, I can see that detail slipping past my dh or I could see him thinking he knew and then second guessing himself and checking with me. 

[HomeAgain]

((hugs))

My dh doesn't know anyone's schedule aside from a vague understanding that these activities happen these days.  He's at work during most of those times and isn't responsible for transportation, organization, payment, or equipment, so it's not on his radar.  Those things fall to me for 90% of ds's events.  The ones he does remember are the ones he is directly involved in (like a Saturday activity they did together for the winter).

Don't give it a second thought.  Some people just aren't good with juggling everything.  Heck, I still have to look at dh's schedule each month to be sure that I'm not missing anything on his part, like his weird hours changing to even weirder ones.

[Pawz4me]

I haven't read the other replies, but . . that doesn't seem weird to me at all. I've never been a hugely detail oriented person. I'm often more of a "forest" than a "tree" thinker. Once our boys went to college I really relaxed a lot on what info I deemed essential to remember. I rarely could have named a couple of classes either of them were taking, and had only a vague idea of their schedules. Like this semester I know for both of them Tuesdays and Thursdays are their busiest days. But I have no idea of their exact schedules, when they're in class or not, etc. When each of them first started college DH would print out their schedules and put it on the fridge, but that stopped somewhere along the way. I guess if they were living at home it would be different, but since they both live at their universities it just kinda seems that they have their own lives and they're not as intertwined with ours. But honestly, even when DS19 was here and attending an early college high school I had to look at his schedule (posted on the fridge) every day to know what was going on. It didn't seem worth my brain space to remember it once he was 16 and drove himself.

[catz]

Haven’t read other responses but my DH just does not remember schedules at all and he is very close to our kids and lives here and drives and attends their activities all the time.  My daughter has had the same dance schedule since September, all the stuff is on google calendar and he still has no clue.  It doesn’t bother me at all.   I’m just used to it and it’s nice I can just tell him to check the calendar which is now accessible on every computer he uses, his iPad and phone.   Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.

 

On the other hand, I have no idea of his schedule.    He tends to remind me when he is going to work late, has travel coming up, has a work dinner, etc.   That is all on the calendar too.    ETA - when DH is traveling for work, I have a hard time remembering what city he is in or what the heck he is doing too.  LOL.  End of the day I'm like "hi hon - where are you again and what the heck are you doing there?".  

if he works at 2:30 and he is never going to vo-tech from his dad's house and it wasn't spelled out in the invite, I could see why he would ask.  My DH would clarify if there were 2 time options and he lives here.  

[Garga]

People keep saying they can’t remember schedules, and then list how complicated the schedules are.

Scarlet’s son took vo tech in the morning.  He worked in the afternoon.  That’s it.  He didn’t fly to other time zones every two weeks.  His schedule didn’t change.  He didn’t go to different programs in different locations. 

Vo tech.  Then work.  Two years. Pretty much all high schoolers who work, do so in the afternoon.  Does anyone know of high schoolers who work in the morning and then go to classes in the afternoon?

It’s strange that the XH doesn’t remember that.  It’s so basic.  I remember that schedule (school, then work) from when I was in high school over 30 years ago.  

If I was Scarlett, I’d be momentarily irritated and then let it go.  Which is what she’s probably doing.  It’s just weird that her XH doesn’t remember something as basic as this.  It does show that he hasn’t paid attention to how his son’s daily life plays out. 

 

ETA:. Been thinking.  On the other hand, I’m the sort of person who measures twice, cuts once.  I’d have probably double checked the time, even though I knew it was morning, juuuust to be sure.  I’m overly careful like that.  So, to give her XH the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he knew the time, but was double checking.

[J-rap]

Your situation is probably completely different, but my dh would not know this information.  He's very close to our kids too -- to their minds and hearts, and he cares about them deeply and they know it.  But he would have no idea about their college schedule.

My ds is the same way.  It's hard enough for him to know his own schedule, or even his birthday!  It really is no reflection at all on how much he thinks or cares about someone.  It's kind of the way his brain works.

[Katy]

Half the time I can't even remember my own zip code.  And we've lived here two years.

We still have the same cell phone numbers from 4 moves ago, mostly because I can now remember them and I don't want to deal with memorizing new numbers.

Count me in the forget it if I don't need to know in the next week crowd.

[skimomma]

I don't think it is that unusual or a sign of a bigger issue, although I do understand this is just one of many other things in this case.  The kid going to votech is an important detail.  What time of day is not IMO.  My dh is a very involved parent but would probably fail any quiz on even the most basic questions about dd's daily schedule even though most of it is pretty steady and has been for years.  He is not here during the day.  He knows what she does (mostly) but not when.  I don't see why I should care about this.  He has a decent handle on the evening and weekend schedule because he often helps with taxi duty but if I did not maintain a calendar, he would have no idea.  On the flip side, dh travels a great deal.  I cannot even count how many times someone has asked me where he is and I realize I have no idea.  I generally can get the time zone correct but actual state/city is sometimes just too much for me to keep track of.  I am not uninvolved in his life, it is jus a detail that does not matter to me. 

[catz]

That's a good point skimomma.  DH has some basic inklings of the evening schedule since he does a lot of the driving with the kids, etc.   But our daytime schedule?  LOL - he has NO clue.  This winter I took 1 kid on a college visit trip for 5 days and I had to sit down and walk through the schedule with him day by day for my daughter.  He knows what my kids do and are involved in during the day.    He could tell you nothing about the days of the week or the times off the top of his head for stuff he isn't typically home for.  He still almost forgot to take my daughter to her violin lesson.  She had to remind him.  ?

Does your son know what his father's schedule looks like on a day to day basis?  They might not chat about that kind of thing when they get together.  

Anyway -  think this type of information retention is often not a character or caring issue, but more of a personality quirk.  And like I said, I don't really know or micromange my DH's schedule.   He has ongoing meeting schedules, etc at work.  I have no idea what those look like.  I message him during the day.  Sometimes he gets back to me right away and sometimes not.

[sweet2ndchance]

29 minutes ago, Garga said:

Does anyone know of high schoolers who work in the morning and then go to classes in the afternoon?

 

Obviously some probably do because the OP said in her original post that there is a morning class and an afternoon class. Those that do go to that afternoon class might work in the morning.

At least he cared enough to ask to make sure he was planning to attend the correct one. My ex-husband refused to attend most of the kids' graduations and such because he knew I would be there and he's not allowed to talk to me. Any time we did end up at the same kid events, I purposely avoided him. I have a restraining order on him that says he is only allowed to speak to me about the kids in text or email because he cannot control himself when speaking to me.  I've had to use those texts and emails as proof that we still need that restraining order 7 years after our divorce. That's a sign of a bigger problem.

[catz]

The kids that do dual enrollment classes here have all sorts of wacky schedules.  I know teens that work during the day. My kid has a 16 year old friend that works in a pizza parlor just over lunch shift a few days a week.  I know kids that just take night classes.  So I guess I don't think that would be weird.  I also interpret afternoon as NOON.  The kid doesn't work until 2:30.  He could be in classes in the afternoon in theory.   Even having a sense of going to vo-tech first and then working wouldn't necessarily give you the exact time.