Motivation for long term, significant weight loss

[teachermom2834]

I have always fluctuated with my weight but I recently have hit a high point. I have 60 pounds to lose to get back to where I felt fantastic and wore a size 4. Not really trying to get back there but 40-50 pounds would get me to a place that I feel comfortable in my own body, can wear some clothes I like, and daily life is not so difficult.

 

I started really trying (aside from the half hearted trying that was getting me nowhere) last Monday. I am down 6 pounds in the first week. I know that rate of loss won't continue but it is a good start. The problem is I look at the number on the scale and it is still so discouraging. It is hard to feel like I will ever get there.

 

I tell myself the time will pass regardless, I might as well be improving myself. I have a ds who is a rising senior and I try to remind myself of a dress I own and would like to be able to wear to his graduation. It is hard for me to look long term and stay motivated when i have so far to go.

 

I know some ladies here have lost incredible amounts of weight. Any tips or tricks to staying motivated when there is so far to go? I know the nuts and bolts of what I have to do

with diet and exercise, I am just looking for tips to stay motivated.

[Pawz4me]

If you have a smart phone get the Happy Scale (or similar) weight tracking app. Seeing your progress is very motivating!

 

Good luck!

[Kassia]

I have struggled with my weight for my entire life and have weighed anywhere from 124 to 220 as an adult.  I started losing weight four years ago just by making small changes in my diet a little at a time until those changes became habits and then moved on to new small changes.  I lost around fifty pounds and have maintained that loss for a couple of years now.  It's a struggle to keep my weight as low as it is now, but I know that I'll never go back to where I was.  

 

I recommend not looking at the total of what you want to lose and just celebrating a slow and steady loss.  For me, I get overwhelmed and panic if I think about a specific number of pounds I want to lose, but if I just keep making good choices day after day (or even hour by hour if I'm struggling), I know I will lose the weight eventually and it's a lot easier on me mentally.  For motivation, I just think about how much better I feel when I am thinner - I feel so much more confident.  I belong to some fitness groups on facebook and seeing the pictures posted motivate me to make better choices.  Also, I spent a lot of money on all new clothes once I lost the weight and I love my new clothes and how I feel in them - I don't want to grow out of them!  Those are the things that motivate me.  

 

Good luck!  

 

 

[lmrich]

I have made incremental goals. I am not thinking I need to lose 30 pounds all at once. I need to lose 15 pounds. Then I need to lose another 15. For some reason that works better for me. 

 

Just FYI... I recently started swimming. The first two days I felt like a fool, but after my fourth swim, I found that I really like it. So try a new exercise, you might discover something that gives you joy and weight loss. 

 

[teachermom2834]

I have struggled with my weight for my entire life and have weighed anywhere from 124 to 220 as an adult.  I started losing weight four years ago just by making small changes in my diet a little at a time until those changes became habits and then moved on to new small changes.  I lost around fifty pounds and have maintained that loss for a couple of years now.  It's a struggle to keep my weight as low as it is now, but I know that I'll never go back to where I was.  

 

I recommend not looking at the total of what you want to lose and just celebrating a slow and steady loss.  For me, I get overwhelmed and panic if I think about a specific number of pounds I want to lose, but if I just keep making good choices day after day (or even hour by hour if I'm struggling), I know I will lose the weight eventually and it's a lot easier on me mentally.  For motivation, I just think about how much better I feel when I am thinner - I feel so much more confident.  I belong to some fitness groups on facebook and seeing the pictures posted motivate me to make better choices.  Also, I spent a lot of money on all new clothes once I lost the weight and I love my new clothes and how I feel in them - I don't want to grow out of them!  Those are the things that motivate me.  

 

Good luck!

Yes, "overwhelmed and panic" describes how I feel when I think of the whole number and how far I have to go.

 

I do try to focus on how confident I feel at a lower weight. That is a big one for me and I do like clothes :)

[LarlaB]

Incremental goals.

 

Due to stress of DHs job loss, depression, knee surgery and starting business/new career/working, I gained 45 pounds in the last 2-3 years and didn't realize it was happening. Granted I was at a low extreme of a size 4 and running half marathons 1x a month but still... I felt so great. But then an enormous amount of stress and upheaval entered our life- and I found myself 45 pounds heavier and clinging by my fingernails to the edge of coping. I was exhausted and the thought of a mother major challenge (weight loss) made it overwhelming.

 

So I started with small goals- just to see if I could make the scale move at all.

 

I started with a 10 pound goal by June 6 (and reached it, 2 weeks late.)

Then I set another 10 pounds lost by Oct 26. (Specific trip)

The will finish up the last 5-10 pounds by Christmas.

 

It's easier than doing all or nothing with the whole goal. Small goals means small successes along the way- if that makes sense.

 

So far I've lost 12 pounds and am slowly trucking along. I'm not doing intense exercise as my body/mind cannot handle it- but I am walking a lot and my job (massage therapist) keeps me fit and gets me sweaty almost every day.

[Debbi in Texas]

I need to lose at least 80 pounds, so  I know how you feel. I joined Weight Watchers back in December, and have made only minimal progress. It is so embarrassing. I am so addicted to sugar that if it was a drug, I would be in real trouble.

 

I will be watching this thread for more inspiration. Good luck!!

[LarlaB]

I tell myself the time will pass regardless, I might as well be improving myself. I have a ds who is a rising senior and I try to remind myself of a dress I own and would like to be able to wear to his graduation. It is hard for me to look long term and stay motivated when i have so far to go.

.

I agree with this.... time will pass no matter what, so imagine the joy of a year from now finding yourself ina completely difference place! That can only happen if you start moving and making small steps.

[thessa516]

Small steps, small permanent changes that I can live with. I tell myself that I don't need motivation (a la

).

[Angie in VA]

Yes, "overwhelmed and panic" describes how I feel when I think of the whole number and how far I have to go.

 

I do try to focus on how confident I feel at a lower weight. That is a big one for me and I do like clothes :)

 

 

You  might find this trite, but I just saw this the other day

 

"Focus on results and you won't get change. Focus on change and you will get results." 

 

 

I know Dh and I are not working on the 3 pillars of health: diet (as in what you eat, not going on one), exercise and SLEEP. 

 

Our non-driver's schedule is really hard on us right now. He is working 2 jobs, not both every day, but even if he doesn't go in early, I get up early for DH. Dh and I alternate picking him up from his other job. We will miss him when he heads off to college, but we look forward to getting ample sleep!

 

We're trying to concentrate on eating right, but we're not exercising now (we do wear knock off FitBits to make sure we're moving some). The lack of sleep has us walking around like zombies. 

Edited July 26, 2017 by Angie in VA

[mamaraby]

Small, incremental changes so that it becomes a habit before adding the next new thing has lost me just shy of 100lbs. I have 30-40ish lbs to go. By making changes that I could live with from now until the rest of my life, I removed the need for willpower. This is just life. I just keep on keeping on. Then, tbh, losing weight became easy.

 

Notice I didn't say fast. It's taken me 3 1/2 years. Weight loss hasn't been linear either. It fluctuates up and down. I have always looked at the big view trend line which smooths out the fluctations into a downward slope. That makes it easier to see progress.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I weigh once a month.  Weighing daily drives me crazy.

 

And then, I guess one day at a time. 

 

Not that I completely followed this, but stay away from diet boards.  I joined some hoping for recipes really, but man some people are bat shi* crazy.

 

 

[teachermom2834]

I weigh once a month.  Weighing daily drives me crazy.

 

And then, I guess one day at a time. 

 

Not that I completely followed this, but stay away from diet boards.  I joined some hoping for recipes really, but man some people are bat shi* crazy.

Yes about the diet boards! I have lost this amount of weight before but it was not in a healthy manner and I spent time on diet boards. I am trying to do it better this time and I have managed not to find myself on any diet boards. This is a really good reminder, though.

[Ali in OR]

For motivation, health is actually more motivating to me than the number on the scale. They say there are significant health improvements to losing 10% of your weight if you're overweight. I'm motivated now to reduce my cholesterol, and dropping a few pounds is part of my goal. Think about long term health goals--staying off meds, avoiding diabetes, improved heart health, less stress on your hips, knees, back. Make little changes that you can maintain long term because it's just healthier. And for me, nothing is ever completely off-limits. I relax a bit with food tracking on Sundays, so if I want to make a nice dessert, I plan it for the weekend.

[City Mouse]

The only thing that really motivated me to lose weight and keep it off was when I got to a point that that I could not do something that I have always wanted to do because of my size and lack of fitness. When weight loss was just for appearance I could never stick with it very long. I would lose 20 pounds then gain it back over and over.

[chiguirre]

Sparkly's right about the weigh-ins! You're going to fluctuate and that can be demoralizing. So instead of counting lost pounds, I've been focusing on meeting my calorie goal and walking at least a bit (although it's been so humid, I've been doing laps in the supermarket.) I've lost 16 lbs over the last 4 months so it has been more effective for me than watching the scale.

 

I had to buy new capri jeans (my summer uniform) after the first 10 lbs because they were too baggy in front and just looked weird. The new ones make me look much slimmer and they're closer fitting so I have that sensory reminder to watch my calories and get some exercise, too. They're a great reinforcer.

[stephanier.1765]

I weighed myself once a week and gave myself a small reward for doing well. For me though, not having a deadline was the key. I went into thinking it will take as long as it takes, no hurry. Putting no pressure on myself and with no outside pressure either, it was easy to get on with life as normal except for some eating habit changes. I felt free, if that makes any sense.

[kiana]

Just getting out of the obese range made a huge difference in how I felt health-wise. I stopped there and maintained for quite a while before I went lower. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I don't even weigh anymore because I'm about 5 pounds from goal (which I've decided to just not even anything to worry about really).  But I recently had two appointments close together (less than a week).  So I took them up on weighing because they have a far better scale. There was a 4 pound difference.  Which is nutters.  That's the kind of weight difference where you'd think week to week or day to day that nothing you were doing was working.  But it just does not work that way so weighing too often can be extremely demoralizing!

 

 

[MBM]

Most scales don't tell you much. A DEXA scan semi-annually or annually would be better. It can give you way more detailed information about your body composition. How clothing fits and measurements are okay to use in between.

Edited July 25, 2017 by MBM

[Carol in Cal.]

If I monitor what I do daily, in an easy way, then I tend to keep doing it.  YMMV, but for me, getting a Fitbit (which I mostly use as a step counter) and a Fitbit scale (which automatically transmits weight and body composition to my computer every time I step on it) have made a material, noticable difference in my day to day activity levels and my feelings about weight progress.  I wish there was as easy a way to monitor food consumption--I do a lot better when I enter my eating into MyFitnessPal, but it's so tedious that I find it hard to stick to. 

 

So my pattern is, continue the Fitbit monitoring and 'sensible eating' during plateaus, and intermittently track my food, during which I actually lose weight, hopefully landing at a lower plateau and hopefully staying there.  It's a marathon, not a sprint.

[Pawz4me]

One thing to keep in mind: your weight is not always the best indicator of how you're doing day to day. Your water weight will fluctuate depending on where you are in your cycle. You may convert fat to muscle so the scale might not change right away but you might be losing inches. Weighing can be a useful tool, but only if you don't get so caught up in it that if the scale is up a few pounds you get depressed and binge, kwim?

 

This is exactly why I recommend the Happy Scale app or something similar. Instead of focusing on a daily weight it tracks rolling averages and trends over time. So you can see progress w/o getting laser focused on the number of the day. I had an eating disorder years ago and for a very, very long time was extremely anti daily weighing. That changed totally once I started using the app. For me it's just a whole different ball game.

[Laurie4b]

Here is what kept (and keeps) me motivated.  I lost 60 pounds in my mid-50s and have kept it off. 

 

I looked at it as a permanent lifestyle change and didn't do anything that I couldn't sustain longterm. 

 

I broke the weight loss down into smaller steps.

• I created a chart with new BMI's and also 5%, 10% etc of bodyweight lost.  So using 200 lbs as a starting point, 5% of that is 10 lbs, 10% of that is 20 lbs, 15% is 30 lbs, 20 % is 40 lbs. 
• You get substantial positive changes in health with a 5% loss in terms of blood pressure, blood sugar, lipids, etc. So that is not a huge goal, but makes a big difference. 
• If a person was 5' 7" and weighed 200 lbs, that would be a BMI of 31.3 (obese category), At 191, it would be 29.9 (yay! Merely overweight! No longer obese)  at 185, it would be 29, etc. 
• So I arranged them in order:  First goal 191 (new BMI), 190  (5%), 185 (new BMI), 180 (10%) and so on.  That always gave me some goal that seemed very do-able

Also kept track of measurements. Sometimes those change faster than pounds. 

Focused on process: eating 8+ servings of veges per day (I tracked # of fruits/veges). If I hit that, it was a "win." 

Kept an exercise log. Find exercise that you enjoy and that you can keep doing. Plan when you will exercise at the beginning of the week. (I always looked at the weather, because I prefer to exercise outside. So I would figure out when I could exercise outside and when I needed an alternative. Planning ahead of time made it much more concrete.)  

• I did NOT exercise to burn calories. I think that is counterproductive. For one thing, it's hard to calculate exactly. For another, then exercise becomes either a punishment or a way of earning food. Either one of those will tend to sabotage your efforts. 
• I did exercise because it felt good and it helps get hormones back in balance and does great things for your brain as well as your physical condition. 

Read articles on health and fitness and clean eating pretty much every day. That works for me to keep my head in the game. 

Noticed how great I felt. 

Really kept my "WHY" prominent in my mind. For me it was health and being fit and active into my golden years. 

The "Well Trained Bodies" thread keeps me accountable now.

Avoid shaming self-talk. If you wouldn't say it to a friend, it's not okay to say to yourself. 

I had the attitude that I would fall off the wagon sometimes and the issue was getting back on, not never falling off. So when I went "off plan" I treated it as a time for analyzing what the obstacle was and strategiizing a way around it for next time. 

I weighed every day. (You have to figure out what works best for you. Some people like me need to weigh daily; other people prefer weekly or not at all.) 

 

You might also consider a health coach. Their main job is motivation. It's different than a personal trainer, who works on giving you specific exercises and/or supervising your exercise sessions, or a dietitian. who helps you with choosing foods. Some health coaches may be both. 

 

I 

Edited July 25, 2017 by Laurie4b

[AnniePoo]

Mini goals with a reward after each. Buy a cool necklace or treat yourself to a movie when you've lost the first 10. Stuff like that.

[teachermom2834]

Here is what kept (and keeps) me motivated.  I lost 60 pounds in my mid-50s and have kept it off. 

 

I looked at it as a permanent lifestyle change and didn't do anything that I couldn't sustain longterm. 

 

I broke the weight loss down into smaller steps.

• I created a chart with new BMI's and also 5%, 10% etc of bodyweight lost.  So using 200 lbs as a starting point, 5% of that is 10 lbs, 10% of that is 20 lbs, 15% is 30 lbs, 20 % is 40 lbs. 
• You get substantial positive changes in health with a 5% loss in terms of blood pressure, blood sugar, lipids, etc. So that is not a huge goal, but makes a big difference. 
• If a person was 5' 7" and weighed 200 lbs, that would be a BMI of 31.3 (obese category), At 191, it would be 29.9 (yay! Merely overweight! No longer obese)  at 185, it would be 29, etc. 
• So I arranged them in order:  First goal 191 (new BMI), 190  (5%), 185 (new BMI), 180 (10%) and so on.  That always gave me some goal that seemed very do-able

Also kept track of measurements. Sometimes those change faster than pounds. 

Focused on process: eating 8+ servings of veges per day (I tracked # of fruits/veges). If I hit that, it was a "win." 

Kept an exercise log. Find exercise that you enjoy and that you can keep doing. Plan when you will exercise at the beginning of the week. (I always looked at the weather, because I prefer to exercise outside. So I would figure out when I could exercise outside and when I needed an alternative. Planning ahead of time made it much more concrete.)

• I did NOT exercise to burn calories. I think that is counterproductive. For one thing, it's hard to calculate exactly. For another, then exercise becomes either a punishment or a way of earning food. Either one of those will tend to sabotage your efforts. 
• I did exercise because it felt good and it helps get hormones back in balance and does great things for your brain as well as your physical condition. 

Read articles on health and fitness and clean eating pretty much every day. That works for me to keep my head in the game. 

Noticed how great I felt. 

Really kept my "WHY" prominent in my mind. For me it was health and being fit and active into my golden years. 

The "Well Trained Bodies" thread keeps me accountable now.

Avoid shaming self-talk. If you wouldn't say it to a friend, it's not okay to say to yourself. 

I had the attitude that I would fall off the wagon sometimes and the issue was getting back on, not never falling off. So when I went "off plan" I treated it as a time for analyzing what the obstacle was and strategiizing a way around it for next time. 

I weighed every day. (You have to figure out what works best for you. Some people like me need to weigh daily; other people prefer weekly or not at all.) 

 

You might also consider a health coach. Their main job is motivation. It's different than a personal trainer, who works on giving you specific exercises and/or supervising your exercise sessions, or a dietitian. who helps you with choosing foods. Some health coaches may be both. 

 

I

 

Thanks so much for such a thoughtful and extensive post. So much good info here.

[teachermom2834]

Thanks so much for all the input! I do need to set some mini goals. I struggle with an "all or nothing" personality so I have a hard time looking at the short term goal and feeling like it is worthy of reward. But, I know I need to do this if I am going to be successful and get a handle on this.

[matrips]

I charted on the calendar a weekly weight loss of 1-2lbs, and plotted it each week until I'd hit my goal. Then I'd weigh myself weekly and write the actual number. I found it kept me motivated since it was baby and realistic goals to meet each week. And I could see the end point as well on the calendar. Good luck with it!

[KatieJ]

You have gotten some excellent advice!

 

I am on a weight loss journey since last fall.  I have lost almost 80 pounds...about 10 pounds a month until this summer..when it slowed way down.  It was very discouraging, but I kept focus on the goal to get healthy, and the fact that my clothes were getting looser in spite of the scale not moving. 

I spent too many hours and dollars buying new clothes. I am a seamstress, so I did alter a fair amount of my clothes too.  When they got big the second time around, they went in the donate pile.  I am not keeping them this time around.  Gone for good is my motto.

 

 

I am going to a bariatric clinic for weight loss, but did NOT do surgery and eat their product.  I am just counting calories and watching macros.  There is another part to the success at this clinic ( it is not a national chain, or found in a strip mall kind of place.  It is an office with 5 doctors, 4 behaviorists, and 3 exercise gurus, and 4 or 5 nutritionists). Thru the classes and support groups I have learned a few things.

 

Support is helpful.  I let my family know what I was doing, not so they could police me, but to cheer me on. And they have.

 

CBT skills.  Judith Beck has written several books on dieting and behavior.  They are excellent.  Her techniques are used in our weekly group sessions.

 

I would start with making a list of why you want to loose weight.  Put them on 3.5 cards and keep them around you. When you get discouraged pull out your cards and remind yourself why you are doing this. It is so helpful. I also pull up My Fitness Pal and see where I've been, what my goal is..and trust me, my goal is vague.  Everytime I get another 10 pounds gone, or , I give myself another 100 calories or a day or so.  Might even be more often than that.  Depends on how my week has been, and if I need to just have a glass of wine.

 

Find some kind of snacks that work for you and satisfy those cravings.  I keep Costco protein bars in the house, in my purse, at the son's house, etc.  They keep me from diving into sweet desserts.

Jerky is also helpful.  All protein and takes a long time to chew!

 

Protein, and alot of protein is the difference for me.  But it's not low carb, high fat, high fat.  It's 1500 calories a day, 90 grams of protein, and 90 oz of water.

 

They have told us and told us and told us, exercise is not the way to loose weight.  It is what you do to keep it off and to get stronger.

 

When you eat something that wasn't on your plan, call it what it was, unplanned eating..and forgive yourself and move on. Don't give in to the unplanned eating and keep going.

Start right back on it.

 

Edited July 25, 2017 by KatieinMich

[LarlaB]

Here is what kept (and keeps) me motivated. I lost 60 pounds in my mid-50s and have kept it off.

 

I looked at it as a permanent lifestyle change and didn't do anything that I couldn't sustain longterm.

 

I broke the weight loss down into smaller steps.

• I created a chart with new BMI's and also 5%, 10% etc of bodyweight lost. So using 200 lbs as a starting point, 5% of that is 10 lbs, 10% of that is 20 lbs, 15% is 30 lbs, 20 % is 40 lbs.
• You get substantial positive changes in health with a 5% loss in terms of blood pressure, blood sugar, lipids, etc. So that is not a huge goal, but makes a big difference.
• If a person was 5' 7" and weighed 200 lbs, that would be a BMI of 31.3 (obese category), At 191, it would be 29.9 (yay! Merely overweight! No longer obese) at 185, it would be 29, etc.
• So I arranged them in order: First goal 191 (new BMI), 190 (5%), 185 (new BMI), 180 (10%) and so on. That always gave me some goal that seemed very do-able

Also kept track of measurements. Sometimes those change faster than pounds.

Focused on process: eating 8+ servings of veges per day (I tracked # of fruits/veges). If I hit that, it was a "win."

Kept an exercise log. Find exercise that you enjoy and that you can keep doing. Plan when you will exercise at the beginning of the week. (I always looked at the weather, because I prefer to exercise outside. So I would figure out when I could exercise outside and when I needed an alternative. Planning ahead of time made it much more concrete.)

• I did NOT exercise to burn calories. I think that is counterproductive. For one thing, it's hard to calculate exactly. For another, then exercise becomes either a punishment or a way of earning food. Either one of those will tend to sabotage your efforts.
• I did exercise because it felt good and it helps get hormones back in balance and does great things for your brain as well as your physical condition.

Read articles on health and fitness and clean eating pretty much every day. That works for me to keep my head in the game.

Noticed how great I felt.

Really kept my "WHY" prominent in my mind. For me it was health and being fit and active into my golden years.

The "Well Trained Bodies" thread keeps me accountable now.

Avoid shaming self-talk. If you wouldn't say it to a friend, it's not okay to say to yourself.

I had the attitude that I would fall off the wagon sometimes and the issue was getting back on, not never falling off. So when I went "off plan" I treated it as a time for analyzing what the obstacle was and strategiizing a way around it for next time.

I weighed every day. (You have to figure out what works best for you. Some people like me need to weigh daily; other people prefer weekly or not at all.)

 

You might also consider a health coach. Their main job is motivation. It's different than a personal trainer, who works on giving you specific exercises and/or supervising your exercise sessions, or a dietitian. who helps you with choosing foods. Some health coaches may be both.

 

I

Excellent perspective- thanks for sharing. I realize now I relied on running/exercise to balance out less than stellar eating habits. And then needed knee surgery and couldn't run...hence why I think I gained weight so rapidly. I needed to address the eating habits on their own.

 

Since I'm no longer a runner (which I truly loved and it was a huge stress relief and mental health boost) exercise feels like so much more work and punishment LOL. Distance walking (akin to running) works for me.

 

And I have to weigh myself every day to check in...not in an obsessive way, but since I disconnected and checked out (and gained so much so fast) it needs to be a normal part of my life- a looking in the mirror if you will.

 

Thanks you for your thoughts!

[Soror]

(hugs) and best wishes.

 

I think you've been given wonderful advice and hope some it helps you. I've not ever had to lose a significant amount of weight so I won't pretend how to do it.

[bookbard]

I'm in the same situation, in many ways. Lots of exercise had masked bad eating in the past; lots of stress over the last few years made bad eating worse. It's really a form of self-medication . . . you feel more relaxed for a moment, you feel that you've got some small thing to look forward to .  . .

 

As I said in my other thread, I've committed to attending yoga class twice a week. I'm hoping that gives me the motivation to get fitter and reduce some stress which will hopefully reduce the need for the bad eating. 

 

 

[Ottakee]

This is a good and timely thread. I am into the obese category. I carry it "well" if you want to.say that as a frend who is the same height is 50 pounds lighter and only 1 size smaller in clothes.

 

The health thing is important but for key heart rate is excellent (about 60 per minute), my cholesterol is perfect, blood pressure is perfect, blood sugars are excellent, etc. The only meds I take are for asthma which is not weight related but rather due to lung damage before I had my heart surgery to correct a hole in my heart.

 

I am active at a moderate level. I am consistently at 10,000 steps a day or more plus horse back riding, kayaking, cross country skiing, etc.

 

My problem is I am fat.

 

Just 2 weeks ago I started the old Weight Watchers points system as it worked for me before and it is free since I have the stuff. I have no desire to spend money or sit in meetings. That just isnt my thing.

 

I appreciate the comments on size vs. number on a scale as o have only lost 2 pounds but when I put on capris today I hadn't worn in a bit they were looser. Small baby steps.

[Kassia]

 I realize now I relied on running/exercise to balance out less than stellar eating habits. And then needed knee surgery and couldn't run...hence why I think I gained weight so rapidly. I needed to address the eating habits on their own.

 

Since I'm no longer a runner (which I truly loved and it was a huge stress relief and mental health boost) exercise feels like so much more work and punishment LOL. Distance walking (akin to running) works for me.

 

 

 

This is me and one of my biggest fears is an injury that keeps me from running.  I need it for weight management and for my mental health and don't know what I would do if I couldn't run anymore.  It keeps me sane and I would have to cut back so much on food!  I'm sorry about your knee injury and am glad you found something that works for you.  

[fraidycat]

You need to have a really strong "Why" to reach any goal. It takes some soul searching. Not just "it would be nice...", or "I'll be healthier/look better". So figure out your BIG WHY - it's got to be yours, not someone else's, though you could use other people's as your jumping off point to pinpoint your own. Without your Why, the motivation and determination to keep going through the hard parts will wax and wane.

 

http://simonstepsys.com/how-to-discover-your-why-and-goal-set-successfully

Edited July 25, 2017 by fraidycat

[LarlaB]

This is me and one of my biggest fears is an injury that keeps me from running. I need it for weight management and for my mental health and don't know what I would do if I couldn't run anymore. It keeps me sane and I would have to cut back so much on food! I'm sorry about your knee injury and am glad you found something that works for you.

Thanks.

 

Yeah, after 10 years of running and peaceful mental health, I ended up on anti depressants for depression and anxiety and gained 45lbs. 😜 Not how I saw that going....It was a convergence of bad timing for me, not just stopping running- but yes running was my main coping mechanism. I had unexpected knee surgery, DHs job loss (from family business) and I finished school to start a new career and business - all in 3 months. I didn't have time to process or adjust to a Plan B.

 

Walking will never complete me the way running did. I race walked a 13.1 a few months ago and it was totally unsatisfying. But better than the couch. But I'm not done yet...although it's taken me a while to want to try again.

 

Mainly it's an acceptance that triggers, setbacks and unexpected circumstances will arise but I NEED to put my health first. And I've learned better ways to cope than strictly limiting food and pushing my body too hard...or giving up and just eating and sitting on the couch. Ive been the extremes I guess and I've needed to learn a balance.

[Kassia]

Thanks.

 

Yeah, after 10 years of running and peaceful mental health, I ended up on anti depressants for depression and anxiety and gained 45lbs. 😜 Not how I saw that going....It was a convergence of bad timing for me, not just stopping running- but yes running was my main coping mechanism. I had unexpected knee surgery, DHs job loss (from family business) and I finished school to start a new career and business - all in 3 months. I didn't have time to process or adjust to a Plan B.

 

Walking will never complete me the way running did. I race walked a 13.1 a few months ago and it was totally unsatisfying. But better than the couch. But I'm not done yet...although it's taken me a while to want to try again.

 

Mainly it's an acceptance that triggers, setbacks and unexpected circumstances will arise but I NEED to put my health first. And I've learned better ways to cope than strictly limiting food and pushing my body too hard...or giving up and just eating and sitting on the couch. Ive been the extremes I guess and I've needed to learn a balance.

 

I am facing a possible surgery in the next couple of months with a long recovery time and my biggest concern is how it will affect my workouts and weight (will have to take at least six weeks off).  It will be challenging for sure.  

 

I don't think anything can replace the endorphins that running provides.  For me, when I can't run due to an injury or weather, I usually use my spin bike.  It is a good enough workout, but doesn't give me the mental benefits that running does and I don't think I burn as many calories.  Running also gives me a sense of accomplishment that I can't get with spinning and I suspect it's the same for you with the walking.  But, good for you for finding something you can do and not just sitting and eating on the couch (I've done that before with an injury and also gained a lot of weight and became depressed/anxious).  Balance is a good thing.  I'm not there yet, but I hope to be sometime soon.   :grouphug:

[mamaraby]

I appreciate the comments on size vs. number on a scale as o have only lost 2 pounds but when I put on capris today I hadn't worn in a bit they were looser. Small baby steps.

Just remember that your scale only gives you a partial picture. You're just measuring how much gravity is pulling you down, not your body composition.

 

Dh hasn't really seen the scale move as much as he'd like numbers wise and yet I can definitely tell that his body comp has changed and he's wearing smaller clothes. So, in his case, the scale is lying about how his hard work is paying off.

 

For me, even at my highest I never felt badly physically because of my weight and my biometrics weren't terrible. About the only thing that improved with how my body felt was that first 58+ lbs eliminated my plantar fascitis type pain and enabled me to walk and run for exercise. My biometrics improved as well, but imo since they weren't terrible before that wasn't a big motivator. In the day to day sense, though, I felt then a great deal like I do now. Other people tell me that they can tell, but I don't see it. I still see myself as I was.

 

This weekend we stopped at Starbucks. When I went to join my family at the table, the chair available was behind someone who had their chair pulled out a fair distance. I stood by the table for awhile because I had decided that I wouldn't fit and didn't want to deal with the embarassment or the potential conflict in asking the other person to scoot in some. But dd was taking forever and I was tired of standing so I decided to try and "squeeze in." Heh, no squeezing was necessary. And I am officially not allowed to shop for clothes on my own according to those I love because I will buy clothes that are too big.

 

So, I guess I would also suggest taking pictures and measurements. If I compare pictures of me side by side then I can see the change even if I don't feel it inside. If I get a tape measure out and hold it around myself at my larger measurements, I can see that I have in fact gotten smaller. I didn't keep any clothes from my highest weight and wish I had because that would be another external way to show that my internal feelings are lying to me.

 

I know I thought I'd feel different at 176 than I do. I still feel the way I did at 192 when I was obese and like I did at 274 when I was morbidly obese. Feelings and scales lie. You are more than those two things so find lots of external metrics to help ground you in reality just in case you find yourself in a similar spot along the way.

[Just Kate]

I agree with many of the previous posters, especially with setting mini goals. I started my journey in March of this year. I set an overall goal of a 35lb weighloss, but that number was even overwhelming, so I set an in between mini goal of 20lbs. After returning from vacation last week (I gained two pounds while away), I am currently down 15lbs, so I have 5 more to hit my mini goal. During these couple of months, I have fallen off my plan several times, but never for more than one meal. If I go off-plan (due to circumstances or even choice), I make myself go right back for the next meal. This has been a game changer for me, as I also tend to be an all or nothing type and when I messed up, I used to throw my hands up in the air and give up. I decided I won't do that this time. And even though I have messed up, I've chalked it up to life and I just move on.

 

Another thing that has helped me is to NOT be on a "diet". I have carefully researched my eating plan and I really feel like it will be best for me for life. So instead of being in a diet, I am learning how to eat in a whole new way. Even after hitting my ultimate goal, I hope to keep eating this way.

 

Finally, I like to weigh myself daily (I know, I know), so I use the Happy Scale app to record my weigh-ins. As a PP mentioned, this app helps me to focus on trends and I don't get worried about the small fluctuations that occur.

 

I've loved reading this thread. So many great ideas!!!

Edited July 26, 2017 by Just Kate

[Ottakee]

Just Kate....I agree about no "diet" but finding a new way to eat. I know that if I have a strict diet any weight loss would soon be back as soon as I stopped the diet.

 

I am trying to focus on eating real foods in moderation and eating more veggies than other stuff, etc.

[alisoncooks]

Timely thread. My weight just hit an all-time high. In the past, I could out-exercise poor food habits, but I'm realizing that that is no longer the case. I have about 60 pounds to lose.

 

I want to do an adventure ropes course and rock wall with my kids in late October. (Family vacation.) My goal is 10 pounds lost by then, plus some healthier habits (water intake, daily stretch & workouts, more vegetables).

 

But it does feel overwhelming, here at the starting line.

Again. (*sigh*)

[Guest]

I have not had this particular issues--my battles are in other areas, at least for the most part.  In the past year, I had a sudden weight gain.  Before I turned 55, it was a no-big-deal issue.  Id made up my mind and in a week, the 10 pounds would be gone.  That is not true anymore.  It takes a lot more work and I finally had to accept that my new weight was 10 pounds more than it had always been.  I look and feel good.  But I can't shed sudden weight gain like I used to.  

 

I have two people I love a lot who have had to face obesity.  One did it at 60+ and it was a lot of work and it left her with a lot of wrinkles because her skin elasticity was gone.  But she DID IT.  She wishes she had done it earlier, before her skin lost elasticity.   

 

The more you age, the harder it gets.  

 

The other one  knows that if she loses the 80 pounds, she is going to have excess skin.  Her friend lost 80 pounds and she feels great!  But she has excess skin and it's just...not great looking.  Another friend lost 120 pounds and had so much excess skin that she had it surgically removed...it was seriously droopy.  

 

This friend carries all her fat in the body; her arms and legs look great.  But that 80 pounds is visceral fat, and it is impinging on her lungs, her heart, her guts.  She always sounds like she is out of breath.  It is crowding her internal organs so she is flat out not healthy.  Her organs can't work properly.  It will very likely shorternher life, and make what life she has more of a burden to her.  Doctors have told her she is morbidly obese.  

 

If you don't want those things to be part of your life, get going!!!  :0)  I am saying this with all the friendliness in the world!  Really!  

 

I love my friends the same, no matter what they weigh.  I'm just telling you what has been and is likely to be the reality in their lives.  I can't do a thing about it...only they can.  And that is true for you, too.  I'm telling you the reality so you can bring this to bear in your own decision-making and perhaps it will give you some of the motivation you have asked for. 

 

Portion control would go a long way with one of these people.  Every meal,, she eats at least twice as much as I do, and often more than that.  She *always* has an appetizer and a dessert; I hardly ever do.  She drinks a Classic Coke when I drink hot water with stevia and lemon.  We are the same height and in our teens were the same weight, except for the little extra she had because she actually was not "flat" and I was.  I believe  if she ate smaller portions, she would slim quickly; I think she could do so--I am much more active and energetic than she is--a calorie deficit is not the reason for the enormous portions.  

 

Anyway, that's what I have to say.  Think about this:  If not now, when?  And if later, why later and not now?  What is the benefit to delaying the work?  

 

All the luck in the world to you!  I think food issues are really hard to deal with--it's not like you can just NOT EAT and be done with it.  So it has to be managed, and it's a battle.  I wish you all the best.

 

[FriedClams]

I just joined WW. Their new app has a feature called "connect". It's a lot like Instagram, but only ww people. It's so encouraging and motivating. Tons of pictures, food ideas, encouraging quotes, etc. I love it. I've done great with WW before and the new program is even better. I'm on day 12, add I've had minimal sugar and feel great. I think that's progress.

 

ETA I am most successful when I measure or weigh, and track every single thing I eat. Every bite. If I don't, I cheat....Dont lose...get frustrated..cheat more. And quit.

Edited July 26, 2017 by FriedClams

[Guest]

One thing to keep in mind: your weight is not always the best indicator of how you're doing day to day. Your water weight will fluctuate depending on where you are in your cycle. You may convert fat to muscle so the scale might not change right away but you might be losing inches. Weighing can be a useful tool, but only if you don't get so caught up in it that if the scale is up a few pounds you get depressed and binge, kwim?

I agree with you on this. I recommend doing several measurements with a tape measure because it is more encouraging. I have been working out with weights and riding an exercise bike daily for the past two months. My weight is almost identical within the 2-4 lbs. of fluctuation that always happens. But my shape is far improved. Muscle weighs more than fat but takes up less space. Yesterday, I checked my measurements from two month's ago and the progress is much more identifiable this way, such as lost 1 1/2" at my hips, lost 1" at the smallest part of my waist, etc.

[Soror]

I agree with you on this. I recommend doing several measurements with a tape measure because it is more encouraging. I have been working out with weights and riding an exercise bike daily for the past two months. My weight is almost identical within the 2-4 lbs. of fluctuation that always happens. But my shape is far improved. Muscle weighs more than fat but takes up less space. Yesterday, I checked my measurements from two month's ago and the progress is much more identifiable this way, such as lost 1 1/2" at my hips, lost 1" at the smallest part of my waist, etc.

For sure I remember losing all my weight from my first pregnancy (55lbs) and some lady saying, "Well, it looks like you still aren't back to your pre-pregnancy size." Seriously she said that I was 7-8 months out and had actually lost all the weight but I was a different size and had much more fat and much less muscle, that was disheartening.

 

I weigh about 5-10 lbs more than usual now(thanks stupid thyroid) but being active means my size is much smaller than it could be at this weight. I try to focus on fitness when I can't get the scale to cooperate. I may not be able to control that scale but I can be active.

[Guest]

It sounds like your motivation is that you want to feel fantastic and be comfy in your body. You could take a photo in the same outfit monthly, to see your progress. For day to day motivation, your mind needs to be confident that your plan is working. Initially I saw that progress in the scale, but after a month I saw it in fitness .... walking faster, biking longer and then in how the clothing fit. For inspiration, look to success stories. I use myfitnesspal, as people post photos there. I found someone with my height and body type and it really educated me about what to expect. After the first fifteen pounds people noticed and gave compliments. I am about halfway to goal. Biggest issue is extended family social, as the people think I am rude if I don't eat their processed carbs and sugar. I would rather be a healthy weight than a diabetic, so I stopped going. Instead I go biking.

[Mom22ns]

I don't have anything to add, you've already gotten great advice, but I'll highlight the things that have already been said that are key for me. 

 

First, I weigh daily with a bluetooth scale that tracks my weight on my phone. I don't like weighing less frequently because then I hit one of those fluctuations and don't know it is just a weird day. My scale app tracks my weekly progress, and can give me monthly, yearly and "since I've been using it" stats. All of this gives me a much more accurate picture. A high day or weird fluctuations doesn't impact the trend. Nor can I hide from a very small upward trend that I would prefer to pretend isn't there :). Watching the mirror or how my clothing fits does nothing for me. I'm 5'9" tall and I can gain or lose 10 lbs and my clothing won't fit any differently at all. I don't think I see what is really in the mirror. ever. When I am at goal weight, I look fat. When I was 50 lbs overweight, I looked fat. I could only rarely admit there was a difference. 

 

When I'm trying to lose, I do it incrementally. My first goal is getting out of the decade I am in, then each goal is 10 pounds from there. Those 10 pound goals come much faster than the big goal and are encouraging! Having goals helps, but being patient is important too. 

 

Next, I track activity and exercise. Finding exercise that isn't abhorrent to you is important I like to walk and in the summer I bike. In the winter I do video workouts and circuits, use a treadmill and put my bike on a trainer and I don't like any of it. I walk outside year-round, but I can't get in as many walks or as long of walks when the weather is really bad. Making sure I stay active has been important though. When I started tracking steps I took about 2,000 per day. Now, a low day is 7,000 an average day is 10,000 and a high day is anything over 12,000. I think that has been very important for my health.

 

The key to diet for me has been eliminating sugar and consuming it not more than once every two weeks and only in planned circumstances. This is just me. I'm a sugar addict. Simple carbs aren't much better and I have to be careful with them too. No matter how I try, I can't control my sugar intake any more than an alcoholic can control their drinking, so I mustn't start. If I'm going to have something sweet, I do it surrounded by people, a birthday party for example where I choose to have a piece of cake, or a holiday meal where I choose to eat dessert, but I would feel like an idiot to ask for more lol. That way I can't keep eating and lose control. Everything else I do with diet is secondary. I track foods - sometimes. I count calories - sometimes. I eat very few processed foods - most of the time. Find what works for you and don't feel pressured to do what works for someone else. 

[teachermom2834]

Thanks so much for all the replies! So many good tips and encouragement. I did get the Happy Scale app. I think I am going to like that. I had one of those inexplicable two pound weight gains caused by sleeping ;) and I am not letting that discourage me.

 

I saw a doctor today for the first time in two years. We had moved and it took me this long to get it together to find a doctor. She was very nice and encouraging. She ran all the labs to make sure there was nothing else going on but said if all my labs look good we'll zero in on the weight. She seemed really concerned but encouraging and didn't make me feel stupid/ lazy etc. She said we would make an appointment to address the weight. I was surprised she cared and didn't just give me an eat less, move more lecture. Also, doctors in my area see so many people that are so obese that they don't always get excited about an extra 50 pounds. I did appreciate that she seemed to really care and want to help me get a handle on it.

 

So today I am encouraged! I am about to meet a couple of skinny friends for lunch at a new place. I looked at the menu and I don't see much that I would feel good about eating. But I am looking forward to the company and I'm not going to let the food bother me. I'll do the best I can ordering and try to eat only half. I like to talk so that will distract me from the food :)

Edited July 26, 2017 by teachermom2834

[PeppermintPattie]

I have not had this particular issues--my battles are in other areas, at least for the most part.  In the past year, I had a sudden weight gain.  Before I turned 55, it was a no-big-deal issue.  Id made up my mind and in a week, the 10 pounds would be gone.  That is not true anymore.  It takes a lot more work and I finally had to accept that my new weight was 10 pounds more than it had always been.  I look and feel good.  But I can't shed sudden weight gain like I used to.  

 

I have two people I love a lot who have had to face obesity.  One did it at 60+ and it was a lot of work and it left her with a lot of wrinkles because her skin elasticity was gone.  But she DID IT.  She wishes she had done it earlier, before her skin lost elasticity.   

 

The more you age, the harder it gets.  

 

The other one  knows that if she loses the 80 pounds, she is going to have excess skin.  Her friend lost 80 pounds and she feels great!  But she has excess skin and it's just...not great looking.  Another friend lost 120 pounds and had so much excess skin that she had it surgically removed...it was seriously droopy.  

 

This friend carries all her fat in the body; her arms and legs look great.  But that 80 pounds is visceral fat, and it is impinging on her lungs, her heart, her guts.  She always sounds like she is out of breath.  It is crowding her internal organs so she is flat out not healthy.  Her organs can't work properly.  It will very likely shorternher life, and make what life she has more of a burden to her.  Doctors have told her she is morbidly obese.  

 

If you don't want those things to be part of your life, get going!!!  :0)  I am saying this with all the friendliness in the world!  Really!  

 

I love my friends the same, no matter what they weigh.  I'm just telling you what has been and is likely to be the reality in their lives.  I can't do a thing about it...only they can.  And that is true for you, too.  I'm telling you the reality so you can bring this to bear in your own decision-making and perhaps it will give you some of the motivation you have asked for. 

 

Portion control would go a long way with one of these people.  Every meal,, she eats at least twice as much as I do, and often more than that.  She *always* has an appetizer and a dessert; I hardly ever do.  She drinks a Classic Coke when I drink hot water with stevia and lemon.  We are the same height and in our teens were the same weight, except for the little extra she had because she actually was not "flat" and I was.  I believe  if she ate smaller portions, she would slim quickly; I think she could do so--I am much more active and energetic than she is--a calorie deficit is not the reason for the enormous portions.  

 

Anyway, that's what I have to say.  Think about this:  If not now, when?  And if later, why later and not now?  What is the benefit to delaying the work?  

 

All the luck in the world to you!  I think food issues are really hard to deal with--it's not like you can just NOT EAT and be done with it.  So it has to be managed, and it's a battle.  I wish you all the best.

Don't you think overweight people already know all this? They do, and if it were as simple as you imply here, no one would be overweight.

 

And I'm saying this with all the friendliness in the world.

[Guest]

Don't you think overweight people already know all this? They do, and if it were as simple as you imply here, no one would be overweight.

 

And I'm saying this with all the friendliness in the world.

Fair enough.

 

It was just in my mind as my friend and I were talking about it and while she knew these things, now they are becoming reality, not just something in the future. But you are right--I don't know that even now, her motivation has been changed. I should have thought of that.

[solascriptura]

This is going to go against the advice of many people when it comes to exercise. A lot of people say, "find an exercise buddy!" I used to say this too. 🙂 However, I found that if I need to depend on others to get me to the gym, it may not happen. What if your friend gets discouraged and wants to stop working out. You may stop too. I remember this happening in college. My roommate and I used to go to workout classes all semester. One day, she said, "I'm tired. Let's not go today." Boom. I didn't go either and we never went again. I've been working out for the past 6 months and have reached all of my goals. I had to be self motivated because I'm on this journey myself.