Judgment-free alternatives to "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding?"

[Mergath]

Since it's been nine years since I even attempted to breastfeed, I figured I could use a refresher course and randomly picked an ebook on the subject which turned out to be "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding."

 

If it was a paper copy instead of an ebook, I would have lit it on fire, run it through a wood chipper, and used the remaining pieces in the cats' litter boxes. :lol:  It really should have been called, "The Womanly Art of Mommy-Shaming."

 

Does anyone know of a fact-based, pseudoscience and judgment-free alternative that won't make me want to formula-feed out of pure spite? Seriously, this book made me want to donate money to Similac just to give the finger to LLL. No, my older daughter is not an emotionally-stunted diabetic with an "IQ deficit" because she had to have formula. FFS. :001_rolleyes:

 

Bonus points if your suggestion includes recipes for things like lactation cookies. Or lactation brownies. Pretty much any kind of lactation dessert.

[Noreen Claire]

"the nursing mother's companion" by Kathleen Huggins is work a shot.

 

ETA: Sorry, no lactation cookies!

Edited July 22, 2017 by Noreen Claire

[PeterPan]

Maybe you'd enjoy taking a course through your hospital or having a pre-birth meeting with a lactation consultant?

 

[maize]

:grouphug: I'm so sorry you had trouble in the past.

 

The kellymom site has the most information I have seen collected anywhere. A few articles do have a bit too much of the "every woman can and should breast feed" attitude but most of what is there is just straight up information, lots of help for moms who want to have the best shot at successful breastfeeding possible.

[Guest]

Kellymom.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

"the nursing mother's companion" by Kathleen Huggins is work a shot.

 

ETA: Sorry, no lactation cookies!

 

 

Nursing Mother's Companion is a great one. 

 

Kellymom is also a great resource, as mentioned above.

[SamanthaCarter]

You just brought back the PTSD. Someone loaned me that book when I had trouble with my first brought on by trauma and a long separation from my newborn at birth. I cried so much. Now the mere mention of LLL makes my anxiety levels go up.

 

My advice is get a good lactation consultant on board BEFORE you have trouble. If you end up not needing her great! (That was my two other babies).

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[MommyLiberty5013]

No idea. But here are some cookies! ðŸªðŸªðŸª

[SparklyUnicorn]

It was precisely this shi* that made me not do it.

 

Obviously I don't have a book rec.

 

I do think if I could have a redo, I'd take a class.  I wish I had done so.  Silly me I thought it was the sort of thing that was natural and could be easily figured out so why take a class?  I was so wrong. 

 

 

[RegGuheert]

How about "The Manly Art of Breastfeeding"?  :leaving:

[happypamama]

"the nursing mother's companion" by Kathleen Huggins is work a shot.

 

ETA: Sorry, no lactation cookies!

That's the one I was going to recommend as well. But also, having an IBCLC to call is super helpful.

[Mergath]

You just brought back the PTSD. Someone loaned me that book when I had trouble with my first brought on by trauma and a long separation from my newborn at birth. I cried so much. Now the mere mention of LLL makes my anxiety levels go up.

 

My advice is get a good lactation consultant on board BEFORE you have trouble. If you end up not needing her great! (That was my two other babies).

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

I'm sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:  I ended up not being able to bf my older dd for more than a few weeks because of a list of medical issues, and I think I'd have been completely and utterly demoralized if someone had given me a copy of this book back then. It's horrible. And it's definitely getting added to my list (along with "What to Expect When You're Expecting") of Books Never to Recommend to Anyone Ever.

 

[Mergath]

How about "The Manly Art of Breastfeeding"?  :leaving:

 

I'm scared to click the link. :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Mergath]

Maybe you'd enjoy taking a course through your hospital or having a pre-birth meeting with a lactation consultant?

 

I've been thinking about looking into it, but I had a horrible experience with older dd the first time. The hospital's lactation consultant stopped by when I was still in the hospital with dd nine years ago, got pissed because dd was too weak to latch on, grabbed her tiny head and slammed her face repeatedly into my boob. :cursing:  Then she told me that if dd kept falling asleep when I was trying to breastfeed her (she was three weeks early and had low blood sugar, and trying to keep her awake for more than a few minutes was almost impossible) to keep pinching her because the pain would wake her up. And that was the extent of her advice. So I'm not super excited to go that route again if I can avoid it. And after reading the first few chapters of this book, the idea of contacting my local LLL group doesn't thrill me, either.

 

Apparently I need my breastfeeding resources to involve zero human contact. :lol:

 

[Mergath]

Yes, go ahead and one star me all you want, ladies. I'm sure some of you who had zero trouble breastfeeding adore this book. :001_rolleyes:

[melbotoast]

I also recommend the kellymom website.

[Guest]

Can you call the hospital and ask if they have a different lactation consultant now? I mean, it's been 9 years, maybe they've hired someone new?

 

ETA: no judgement here...also no help since I purposefully dried up my milk the day after giving birth so I wouldn't have to bf. :)

Edited July 22, 2017 by WendyAndMilo

[Anne]

I am so sorry you had such a terrible experience with the lactation consultant = that sounds dreadful! I think you ought to interview lactation consultants *now* - you don't need one now, so not an emotional/stressful time for you, and you can see if you can find a good fit for you.

 

Anne

[barnwife]

The Breastfeeding Book by Dr. Sears

Whether or not you agree with his stance on anything else, the book is hands down, the quickest, most user-friendly, easy to understand on BF that I've seen.

[Mergath]

The Breastfeeding Book by Dr. Sears

 

Whether or not you agree with his stance on anything else, the book is hands down, the quickest, most user-friendly, easy to understand on BF that I've seen.

 

Ooh! I didn't even realize Dr. Sears wrote a breastfeeding book. I love his other stuff. His baby book helped me stay sane with older dd.

 

[Mergath]

Can you call the hospital and ask if they have a different lactation consultant now? I mean, it's been 9 years, maybe they've hired someone new?

 

ETA: no judgement here...also no help since I purposefully dried up my milk the day after giving birth so I wouldn't have to bf. :)

 

I'll probably ask at my next OB appt on Wednesday. I'm going to feel kind of silly though, I don't remember much about the LC from before except that she was awful, so I won't be able to give them much to go on if they had more than one at the time.

[Mergath]

I am so sorry you had such a terrible experience with the lactation consultant = that sounds dreadful! I think you ought to interview lactation consultants *now* - you don't need one now, so not an emotional/stressful time for you, and you can see if you can find a good fit for you.

 

Anne

 

Silly question, but would I just talk to the hospital about that? Outside of LLL and the hospital, I don't know where I'd even start looking for one.

[Ailaena]

The Breastfeeding Book by Dr. Sears

 

Whether or not you agree with his stance on anything else, the book is hands down, the quickest, most user-friendly, easy to understand on BF that I've seen.

 

I swear that said Dr. Seuss...

 

Here we have a breastfeeding clinic as part of Children's Hospital. They see you as a team of three ladies (a doc, a bf consultant, and a psyD) and they are amazing in their desire and ability to help new moms. Maybe look in your area for something?

[Mergath]

And thanks for the recs so far, everyone! :thumbup:

[SparklyUnicorn]

I've been thinking about looking into it, but I had a horrible experience with older dd the first time. The hospital's lactation consultant stopped by when I was still in the hospital with dd nine years ago, got pissed because dd was too weak to latch on, grabbed her tiny head and slammed her face repeatedly into my boob. :cursing:  Then she told me that if dd kept falling asleep when I was trying to breastfeed her (she was three weeks early and had low blood sugar, and trying to keep her awake for more than a few minutes was almost impossible) to keep pinching her because the pain would wake her up. And that was the extent of her advice. So I'm not super excited to go that route again if I can avoid it. And after reading the first few chapters of this book, the idea of contacting my local LLL group doesn't thrill me, either.

 

Apparently I need my breastfeeding resources to involve zero human contact. :lol:

 

 

Yeah that sounds like my experience with the hospital consultant.  :glare:

[cintinative]

I went through three lactation people with my first child. The first one (at hospital) basically said it was a lost cause. The second one (pediatrician) said, " I am not sure I can help you" and I left crying. The third one was magical, but I was already eight weeks in, exhausted, and out of adrenaline. The third one I found out about "through the grapevine" from a friend who had a preemie (my first was early) and this consultant really was the best ever. Unfortunately, she retired a couple years after.  So I would suggest asking around to any friends you have who have had preemies and/or issues with breastfeeding and have used a consultant.  

 

My friend who is a doula is excellent at helping people to breastfeed.  That's another avenue to consider.

 

Note: I never read any books but I did talk to a local LLL person here and she was really encouraging. So maybe throw away the book and talk to someone IRL.  Or just throw away the book.  =)

Edited July 22, 2017 by cintinative

[Mergath]

I swear that said Dr. Seuss...

 

Here we have a breastfeeding clinic as part of Children's Hospital. They see you as a team of three ladies (a doc, a bf consultant, and a psyD) and they are amazing in their desire and ability to help new moms. Maybe look in your area for something?

 

Wow, that sounds amazing! I'm in a smaller town so we probably don't have anything quite that extensive, but I'll ask at my next appointment.

[Mergath]

Yeah that sounds like my experience with the hospital consultant.  :glare:

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I just 5 starred this thread. Good luck, Mergath! I like kellymom and Dr. Sears.

[cintinative]

Here we have a breastfeeding clinic as part of Children's Hospital. They see you as a team of three ladies (a doc, a bf consultant, and a psyD) and they are amazing in their desire and ability to help new moms. Maybe look in your area for something?

 

Yes, my third "magical' consultant was affiliated with our Children's Hospital. She was the only one who got my child to suck properly. The only one. 

[Mergath]

I went through three lactation people with my first child. The first one said it was a lost cause. The second one said, " I am not sure I can help you" and I left crying. The third one was magical, but I was already eight weeks in, exhausted, and out of adrenaline. The third one I found out about "through the grapevine" from a friend who had a preemie (my first was early) and this consultant really was the best ever. Unfortunately, she retired a couple years after.  So I would suggest asking around to any friends you have who have had preemies and/or issues with breastfeeding and have used a consultant.  

 

My friend who is a doula is excellent at helping people to breastfeed.  That's another avenue to consider.

 

Note: I never read any books but I did talk to a local LLL person here and she was really encouraging. So maybe throw away the book and talk to someone IRL.  Or just throw away the book.  =)

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I wish I could afford a doula, but unfortunately I don't have eight hundred dollars to spare right now. Babies are expensive!

 

It was an ebook so I can't throw it away, but I did delete it from my Kindle very angrily and with extreme prejudice. :P

[Bluegoat]

I quite like Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding. 

 

I found Dr Newman's book the most technically useful.  It does have a certain annoying factor, but the useful stuff that I didn't find elsewhere made it worthwhile for me.

 

ETA - and there are sone useful videos on his website for things like how to do breast compressions, or what a good latch looks like.

Edited July 22, 2017 by Bluegoat

[Crimson Wife]

Have you checked the IBCLC directory? My babies all had tongue-tie so I needed major help nursing. My oldest it was so bad that I could never get her to latch on at all and had to pump. The quack Army doctor claimed that the frenulectomy couldn't be performed until 6 months, which I found out later was completely untrue :cursing: but I digress.

 

Anyways, the best LC I used was an independent practitioner affiliated with a women's wellness center (the kind that offers yoga classes, massage therapy, etc). The hospital-based ones were not very good.

[MercyA]

Just five starred the thread.

 

I big puffy heart love formula. It made my baby plump and happy. And, surprisingly enough, she is still a loving, sensitive, intelligent child. Imagine that.  :001_rolleyes:

 

Anyone who has a problem with women who choose not to or can't breastfeed for whatever reason can go jump in a lake.  :)

[LarlaB]

Kellymom was a huge help to me 😜

[LEOW3301]

Oh my goodness! I just received this book in the mail today! Not kidding! I, too, was hoping for something to help me with breastfeeding, since it's been 6 years......now I doubt I'll read it! Lol.

[Catwoman]

Yes, go ahead and one star me all you want, ladies. I'm sure some of you who had zero trouble breastfeeding adore this book. :001_rolleyes:

I just gave you 5 stars. :)

[Catwoman]

Just five starred the thread.

 

I big puffy heart love formula. It made my baby plump and happy. And, surprisingly enough, she is still a loving, sensitive, intelligent child. Imagine that. :001_rolleyes:

 

Anyone who has a problem with women who choose not to or can't breastfeed for whatever reason can go jump in a lake. :)

Formula worked out just fine for my ds, too. :)

 

I don't understand why so many women insist on shaming other women for making different choices. Why would anyone care how another mom feeds her baby? It's ridiculous. Do what you want to do and let other people do what they want to do.

[mamaraby]

The Kitchn has a lactation cookie recipe (http://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-lactation-cookies-228655) and I've seen some you can buy at stores here and there. Dr. Newman's videos helped me more than anything. Kellymom was my secondary resource.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Anyone can call themselves a lactation consultant. Heck, Spy Car could put out a shingle. You want a board certified consultant (IBCLC). I second the recommendation for Kelly mom and Dr. Newman's videos.

 

Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk

[Rebel Yell]

Yes, go ahead and one star me all you want, ladies. I'm sure some of you who had zero trouble breastfeeding adore this book. :001_rolleyes:

My fat fingers meant to hit five stars, but they hit two. I don't know how to change it, it won't let me.

:(

 

Anyway, I liked Dr. Sears' book. I *did* rely on WAB and LLL because they were the only source of encouragement I knew of in those rough early months. But mostly actual people from LLL.

 

I hope you find what you need and have better support. I am saddened by your IBCLC experience.

[SamanthaCarter]

I agree. in my experience, hospital lactation consultants aren't very good. One didn't know how out of it (on drugs) I was when she showed me how to use the pump and I didn't remember/do it right. The one my pediatrician sent us to once we had failure to thrive problems (after six weeks of trying at home) told me we were too far gone for her to help. 

[MistyMountain]

The Nursing Mom's Companion was good. LLL has gotten much better through the years it seems at least my local group has. The local group has moms asking questions about weaning, supplementing and what to to about low supply with no judgemental remarks. I do not need to be on that group any more but I have not had to drop it because of judgement like other groups.

[ktgrok]

I've been thinking about looking into it, but I had a horrible experience with older dd the first time. The hospital's lactation consultant stopped by when I was still in the hospital with dd nine years ago, got pissed because dd was too weak to latch on, grabbed her tiny head and slammed her face repeatedly into my boob. :cursing:  Then she told me that if dd kept falling asleep when I was trying to breastfeed her (she was three weeks early and had low blood sugar, and trying to keep her awake for more than a few minutes was almost impossible) to keep pinching her because the pain would wake her up. And that was the extent of her advice. So I'm not super excited to go that route again if I can avoid it. And after reading the first few chapters of this book, the idea of contacting my local LLL group doesn't thrill me, either.

 

Apparently I need my breastfeeding resources to involve zero human contact. :lol:

 

 

Usually the ones in hospitals, especially if many years ago, were not board certified IBLCs, but just nurses that took a few extra hours of continuing education, if that. Definitely ask around about a GOOD IBLC. 

 

Otherwise, the Kelly Mom site has articles on every topic. And bookmark the www.infantrisk.org website, in case you have questions about medications. They are located at a university and are the ones that have the actual research on what medications go into milk, in what amount, how fast, etc. As opposed to doctors who just say stuff isn't safe. 

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[ktgrok]

Formula worked out just fine for my ds, too. :)

 

I don't understand why so many women insist on shaming other women for making different choices. Why would anyone care how another mom feeds her baby? It's ridiculous. Do what you want to do and let other people do what they want to do.

 

I think it's very few women that do, who are probably jerks about other stuff too. But there are lots of women/doctors/etc that discuss the benefits of breastfeeding as a matter of public health, on a population level. I think that can be done without shaming or judging on an individual level. 

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[ktgrok]

WIC has well trained peer educators for breastfeeding help, from what I understand. 

[Denise in IN]

I recently made these lactation cookies for a friend, and they were pretty decent:  http://www.howsweeteats.com/2015/02/lactation-cookies/.  

[athomeontheprairie]

Silly question, but would I just talk to the hospital about that? Outside of LLL and the hospital, I don't know where I'd even start looking for one.

Here, the local pregnancy center can help make those connections. Have you tried one near you?

[melbotoast]

You could also try to connect with ICAN if there is a chapter near you. They would have info on what resources are available locally.

[desertstrawberry5]

I haven't read it, but So That's What They're For is supposed to be a helpful, light hearted, funny read.

 

LLL isn't like that in my experience. I didn't love the book. It depends on your area and your specific group. The leaders will still work with you, you don't have to attend meetings.