Something disturbing happened today

[Catwoman]

:iagree: 100%; I cannot fathom the police reaction that she describes. Just can't fathom it at all.

It might have been different if Janeway had reported that she saw a woman acting suspiciously in the park and the police said there was nothing they could do about it but that they would increase their patrols in the area and would give the woman's description to their officers, but in this case, Janeway said this:

 

I was in public at a public place where lots of kids were playing. My daughter was about 15 feet from me straight ahead playing with two other little girls who she is friends with. .... I look over and some grown adult woman had grabbed my daughter's arm and was dragging her away!!!! I started screaming "let go of her! That is my child!" and I got over to her and got her back. The woman took off.

So this woman actually GRABBED Janeway's dd in front of a bunch of people, both children and adults, in a busy park. She started DRAGGING HER AWAY. Janeway saw what was happening and she STARTED SCREAMING, making it very obvious that the woman was trying to KIDNAP A CHILD, yet none of the other parents noticed or cared what was happening? No one took her seriously? No one called 911?

 

And then apparently Janeway contacted the police at some point, and they didn't take her report seriously?

 

This doesn't make any sense at all. There has to be more to this story than Janeway is telling us. I hope she will clarify.

 

 

(Edited for typos!)

Edited June 29, 2017 by Catwoman

[marbel]

I'm glad everyone else is outraged by the lack of police response, but based on the 3 interactions I have had with my local police in the last 12 years, I don't find the lack of response surprising. First, when we reported a major identity theft, the police chief told me it was our own fault because we bought stuff online (that wasn't even a factor in what had happened). The next time I had reason to call the police was because someone had set off fire crackers in the filler port of my car. Their investigation pretty much revolved around insisting that my own kid must have done it (he was barely 7, and even now at 12 wouldn't know how to light anything). Lastly, just a couple of years ago, DS's bike was stolen out of our garage. The cop didn't even look in our garage or ask about the serial number.

 

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

 

That is a lousy response, but not comparable in any way to an attempted child abduction. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm glad everyone else is outraged by the lack of police response, but based on the 3 interactions I have had with my local police in the last 12 years, I don't find the lack of response surprising. First, when we reported a major identity theft, the police chief told me it was our own fault because we bought stuff online (that wasn't even a factor in what had happened). The next time I had reason to call the police was because someone had set off fire crackers in the filler port of my car. Their investigation pretty much revolved around insisting that my own kid must have done it (he was barely 7, and even now at 12 wouldn't know how to light anything). Lastly, just a couple of years ago, DS's bike was stolen out of our garage. The cop didn't even look in our garage or ask about the serial number.

 

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

 

It is common for police to devote a lot less resources to property crime.  The OP's reported situation was quite different. 

[Janeway]

Did the police arrive quickly? Did they interview the other moms?

Actually, I stupidly left the area and then came back a short while later to do the report. I know, I already know how I reacted does not make sense to some. But I panicked. Not like this is a situation a person goes over in their head how they will respond if it happens. I was shocked when it happened and I was more concerned with getting my daughter from her and away from her.

[maize]

Wow, so many stories of scary situations. I will add mine. When I was 7 years old in Carson City NV my best friend and I were playing at a park unsupervised. A car pulled up along the road near it and a man just sat there watching us. After some time he got out of the car and motioned for us to come over to him. We ended up running off the opposite direction. We had just had a "stranger danger" session in our class and we were spooked. He could have been harmless but it was scary.

 

About 5 years later this same friend had a 5 year old sister playing in the front yard. A man drove up and tried to grab her out of the yard. Luckily a neighbor had just walked out of the house and yelled, scaring him off. It made the paper and the guy was later arrested for a child murder in a different state.

 

Scary stuff. While stranger abductions are very rare, it is knowing they do happen that causes me to keep a close watch on my littles. I wish I could feel more relaxed about it but it is one of my worst fears.

Stranger abduction may be rare, but I don't actually think the risks to children are as low as the stranger abduction statistics imply. The US department of justice estimates that 10% of sexual molestation of children is perpetrated by someone unknown to the child--and given the prevalence of sexual molestation 10% actually represents a pretty high number.

 

I was recently reading a study that estimated the rate of stranger kidnapping at only 100 or so children per year in the US, but the definition of kidnapping being used was very narrow (including a requirement that the child be transported at least 50 miles and kept for some significant amount of time).

 

Also, I have to wonder--for every "successful" abduction, how many unsuccessful attempts or attempts that were never made because circumstances didn't seem right (because of other vigilant adults etc.) there are.

Edited June 29, 2017 by maize

[QueenCat]

Actually, I stupidly left the area and then came back a short while later to do the report. I know, I already know how I reacted does not make sense to some. But I panicked. Not like this is a situation a person goes over in their head how they will respond if it happens. I was shocked when it happened and I was more concerned with getting my daughter from her and away from her.

 

I would expect you to go for your daughter first. But it is insane and shocking that NO ONE in the park called the police as it happened or you immediately afterwards.

[Ravin]

That is how I felt. I ran for her, but once I had her, I looked around for my son, but I took my daughter back to where I had been sitting and my ears felt like they were buzzing. In hindsight, I should have stayed right there and stopped the woman from taking off or something. I don't know. But no one seemed to react. I was looking around and everyone just seemed to stand there. Then after the fact, a couple people were ..maybe she was just trying to help your daughter..and I came back with..then why did she take off and say nothing to me?

 

Maybe she'd seen this:

 

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/good-samaritan-punched-after-attempting-help-lost-toddler-find-parents-n777316

[Tangerine]

Maybe she'd seen this:

 

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/good-samaritan-punched-after-attempting-help-lost-toddler-find-parents-n777316

I kinda wish I hadn't clicked that. Good grief.

 

I was shopping once and watched a tiny (like 3 year old) girl walk up to a woman and say "Do you know where my Mommy is?" And the woman looked at her and just said "No, I don't," and continued shopping. I stood there totally flummoxed. I almost laughed out loud it was so weird to me. So I went over and helped her. I guess I could have gotten myself beaten up while I was at it.

[Farrar]

I keep thinking how odd this all is. I've had many interactions with police here over the years - some good, some more mediocre. But the time I had them turn out in major force was when I called in that a very unkempt (possibly homeless, possibly mentally ill?) man that I had never seen before was at our park (and our park is a hangout for homeless men, so that in and of itself wasn't so unusual) and was following kids around and had an older cell phone and was snapping photos. It was SO FREAKY. And holy crap. They were all over that. Not that many cops showed up when I called in that a guy was brutally beaten in front of my house. I don't think dh got that much police attention when he was mugged at gunpoint in the subway. There were maybe that many for a massive middle of the night party/brawl where I saw a weapon and called it in, but this was a lot of action real fast. It was like a swarm of cops.

 

Basically... something is off.

[nixpix5]

I keep thinking how odd this all is. I've had many interactions with police here over the years - some good, some more mediocre. But the time I had them turn out in major force was when I called in that a very unkempt (possibly homeless, possibly mentally ill?) man that I had never seen before was at our park (and our park is a hangout for homeless men, so that in and of itself wasn't so unusual) and was following kids around and had an older cell phone and was snapping photos. It was SO FREAKY. And holy crap. They were all over that. Not that many cops showed up when I called in that a guy was brutally beaten in front of my house. I don't think dh got that much police attention when he was mugged at gunpoint in the subway. There were maybe that many for a massive middle of the night party/brawl where I saw a weapon and called it in, but this was a lot of action real fast. It was like a swarm of cops.

 

Basically... something is off.

Holy smokes girl...remind me not to visit your state! That is a whole lot of scary right there. Yikes!

[Word Nerd]

Maybe they didn't take the threat as seriously as they would have otherwise because it was a woman. If so, that's pretty foolish.

[Farrar]

Holy smokes girl...remind me not to visit your state! That is a whole lot of scary right there. Yikes!

 

Inner city life. In a not-a-state.

 

It's actually super calm these days. And, um, super gentrified. When we moved to this neighborhood, there was a boatload of MS-13 gang activity constantly. A man was shot in front of our house. I can't even remember the last time I had to call a noise complaint.

[marbel]

Maybe they didn't take the threat as seriously as they would have otherwise because it was a woman. If so, that's pretty foolish.

 

That's pretty hard to imagine.  My guess is that it has more to do with the way it was reported.  It wasn't treated as an emergency but reported after the fact. Of course OP was concerned with her daughter at that moment.  But it seems there would have been multiple 911 calls made from the park at the time.  For one, the OP's friend who alerted the OP to the woman grabbing her daughter.  The screaming would have attracted a lot of attention.

 

But somehow, 911 wasn't called and all they had was a mother who reported it some time later.  No other witnesses, no description (as far as I can tell, maybe I missed more information).   

[Melissa in Australia]

Hugs

 

How awful

 

I was almost taken from my front yard when t was just under 2. My mum's yelling frightened the man enough that he dropped me and took off.

[MommyLiberty5013]

I think we're mistakingly assuming something. I did, at least. From Janeway's story, we only know the adults present at this play area were her and her adult friend. Other people there were the potential abductor woman, OP's DD, DD's friends and likely other children playing. Maybe not enough other adults could adequately see or hear.

 

Plus we already discussed sheeple and how few will act - most stare and wait for a leader to take charge.

 

I think it's low of other posters to assume OP is fibbing, regardless of how they feel about her.

 

OP, did you escalate this with the police?

[QueenCat]

I think we're mistakingly assuming something. I did, at least. From Janeway's story, we only know the adults present at this play area were her and her adult friend. Other people there were the potential abductor woman, OP's DD, DD's friends and likely other children playing. Maybe not enough other adults could adequately see or hear.

 

Plus we already discussed sheeple and how few will act - most stare and wait for a leader to take charge.

 

I think it's low of other posters to assume OP is fibbing, regardless of how they feel about her.

 

OP, did you escalate this with the police?

 

In her OP, she states that she was visiting with one of the mom's and another mom pointed out the woman grabbing her child. There were at least TWO other women who could have called the police, according to the OP.

[MommyLiberty5013]

Most police departments keep a blotter online of crimes or misdemeanors in the area. They leave out names, but you could see if this is a "thing" in your area.

[FaithManor]

I think it is a mistaken assumption that others will step in or make the call or whatever. Behavioral studies show that a fairly significant percentage of individuals freeze when something like this happens. Another percentage are the don't stick your neck out mentality. Another percentage are seriously unobservant.

 

There is a reason that self defense instructors often tell you to scream "Fire" and not "help" or "Rape" or whatever.  People will run to see a fire. Those same people will often not get involved if they think a crime is occurring, or they become so scared they freeze, or they are so distracted by whatever they are doing they tune out the cries for help. Something about the word FIRE brings people out of their shells and forces movement. Maybe if for no other reason than they want to insure the fire is not threatening them or their stuff.

 

Often times that ones that are the heroes are the children who simply don't think, teens who think they are invincible, current military personnel - training - and first responders - training. There are a significant portion of humans who either need their frontal lobes to not work quite right or who need specific training to help us bury emotions, tune out the wrong things, and act quickly on the threat we see or hear.

[QueenCat]

Oh, and I would state what the police told you, even if it doesn't put them in a good light.

 

Be very, very careful with that......... one needs to make darn sure to not make slanderous or libelous statements. When emotions come into play, one might go too far.........

[Guinevere]

We had an incident recently in our town that was not publicized by the police.  The mom posted on facebook, and after it started going around, quite a few people said similar things had happened to them.  I heard of FIVE attempted kidnappings that WEEK, and not a peep from the police, aside from two amber alerts (making 7 situations total), both involving a domestic situation.  We do live in an area known for sex trafficking, too.  So, I wouldn't be so sure about what the police department will and won't do.

 

Another suggestion to yelling, "Fire," is to tell kids to start pulling things off of shelves and breaking anything they can grab.  A yelling and unruly child won't get much attention, but one destroying store property will.  Also, if they are approached by someone in a vehicle, they should run the opposite way the car is facing because the car will have to turn around first to chase them.  

[maize]

Information and analysis regarding attempted abduction events:

 

http://www.missingkids.com/AttemptedAbductions

[Amy in NH]

I'd contact the local news media and let them know to get the word out. Even if the police are not alarmed, other parents will want to know to step up their caution-level. Imagine how bad you'd feel if someone else's kid gets abducted by that woman tomorrow, and you could have done something but didn't.

[unsinkable]

I do not feel like they are being serious enough. They came back with "maybe she thought your daughter needed help" umm...no...my daughter was with friends. Why just my daughter? And if that was what the woman thought, why did she take off like that? Some guy there said he thought that woman was my daughter's mother until I screamed. The police just took the report and gave me a report case number and that was it. With no pictures or video, the description was to the effect of, heavy set light skinned woman with dark hair. That is it. That describes a large portion of the population.

 

Now I am going to be afraid to go to the park for a long time. And I do not buy that the woman was not up to no good because she took off and never said anything at all to me.

In her OP, she states that she was visiting with one of the mom's and another mom pointed out the woman grabbing her child. There were at least TWO other women who could have called the police, according to the OP.

Plus "some guy."

[Xahm]

My thought when reading this is to wonder if, maybe, there is a woman somewhere telling the story of how she was out at the park when she saw a little girl fall down, so she helped the girl up. Seconds later a woman came towards her, screaming, so she left, not wanting to get further involved with crazy.

[Seasider]

My thought when reading this is to wonder if, maybe, there is a woman somewhere telling the story of how she was out at the park when she saw a little girl fall down, so she helped the girl up. Seconds later a woman came towards her, screaming, so she left, not wanting to get further involved with crazy.

Maybe. But in that scenario, I'd think it equally likely that a legit person would stick around to explain herself. At least that's what I would do - hands off the child but offer a frightened parent an explanation and certainly an apology.

[Xahm]

Yeah, but if the screaming lady was really scary and the assumed abductor was totally taken off guard, I can imagine talking the "back away slowly" approach. Particularly if I had just dragged a child out of the path of a swing without really thinking about what I was doing, or something, and then suddenly was being screamed at.

 

Maybe. But in that scenario, I'd think it equally likely that a legit person would stick around to explain herself. At least that's what I would do - hands off the child but offer a frightened parent an explanation and certainly an apology.

[Tangerine]

I think in that scenario, I would back away slowly. I wouldn't be apt to try to explain myself in that situation.

[maize]

My thought when reading this is to wonder if, maybe, there is a woman somewhere telling the story of how she was out at the park when she saw a little girl fall down, so she helped the girl up. Seconds later a woman came towards her, screaming, so she left, not wanting to get further involved with crazy.

It is certainly possible--the reality we live is all in our perceptions.

 

Since we don't have any way to go back and observe the scenario to draw our own conclusions, and since the other primary actor is (presumably!) not on this thread to present her point of view, I figure it is fine to take the OP's perceptions at face value in responding. Also fine to gently point out alternative interpretations.

[Guinevere]

Unless I was grabbing a child from in front of a swing, as mentioned upthread, or a similar near catastrophe, I wouldn't ever have my hands on another person's child.  In the event I was snatching them to safety, I would immediately let go afterwards.  The intent of my actions would be obvious.  I have also been twice in the situation of a child missing their parents.  On one occasion, at the zoo, I got down on my knees, an arm's distance away, and talked quietly with the child.  A friend alerted security, who immediately came and took over.  It was maybe 3 or 4 minutes.  The second time was at a store, and the child did not speak English very well.  I encouraged him to follow me, and took him straight to the service desk.  I didn't go near him, and I didn't touch him.  I told him that the people by that sign could help him find his Mama, and I pointed and talked to him about it the whole way there.  I only did that after I had followed him for about 10 minutes at a distance, and never saw any adult anywhere near him.  I shopped for 30 more minutes, and they had just found his adult (pretty sure not a parent) as I was leaving.  So sad.

 

Anyway, my point is that a person with good intentions shouldn't be acting in a creepy way.

Edited June 30, 2017 by Guinevere

[eve55]

Hugs. Next time be more careful and don't let your child off your eyesight.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Hugs. Next time be more careful and don't let your child off your eyesight.

 

 

This is unfair.  She had two kids at the park, she was looking at her son for a moment.

 

The ridiculous levels of "vigilance" women are "supposed to" have for their children is insane.  

 

Child abductions by strangers happen sometimes.  It's horrible.  It's not the mother's fault, and often times, it is totally unpreventable.  I can't remember which girl, but recently an adult abductee escaped.  In her abduction, her step-father, who had been walking her to school, was simply a few feet away from her when she was pulled into a car.  Was it his fault he didn't have a death grip on her?  His fault that he dared use a public road instead of keeping her locked in a tall tower?  

[MamaBearTeacher]

This is a shocking and scary experience for Janeaway. We should not criticize how she reacted. I think I would have been in shock too and my heart would have been racing. Her reaction to protect her children was the right one. I wonder if it had been a man if the other adults would have reacted more. I wonder if the abductor woman was well-dressed and nice-looking and that confused people. I am not surprised the police did not take a woman and a mom seriously. Also, maybe there's not much they can do unless someone else reports a similar incident because the woman ran away.

 

How old is your daughter and what did she say happened? Was she shaken by the incident?

[DawnM]

Hugs. Next time be more careful and don't let your child off your eyesight.

 

 

Oh good grief. 

[Slache]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[snowbeltmom]

Hugs. Next time be more careful and don't let your child off your eyesight.

 

The mother is NOT at fault for what happened.

 

Have you ever taken more than one child to a playground?  Based on your comment, I am guessing that the answer is "no."

 

[Guest]

Hugs. Next time be more careful and don't let your child off your eyesight.

This is a joke, right??

[Xahm]

My thought when reading this is to wonder if, maybe, there is a woman somewhere telling the story of how she was out at the park when she saw a little girl fall down, so she helped the girl up. Seconds later a woman came towards her, screaming, so she left, not wanting to get further involved with crazy.

I made this post then went to bed. Later I felt like I should have included that in my make believe version of the scenario, the mother who reacted in terror at the sight of her child being picked up or dragged (if she didn't see the reason for it) is not actually crazy for being disturbed by the situation. If that mom is me, I see my kid apparently being dragged off, I yell at the woman to leave my kid alone, she does and I sit with my kid, only later thinking, was that an abduction? Maybe I should report it. Naturally real me hopes I would react better, but there's no guarantee of that. My pretend version explains why the other parents treated it like no big deal, though, especially if some of them saw the reason the lady grabbed the child.

[unsinkable]

This is a shocking and scary experience for Janeaway. We should not criticize how she reacted. I think I would have been in shock too and my heart would have been racing. Her reaction to protect her children was the right one. I wonder if it had been a man if the other adults would have reacted more. I wonder if the abductor woman was well-dressed and nice-looking and that confused people. I am not surprised the police did not take a woman and a mom seriously. Also, maybe there's not much they can do unless someone else reports a similar incident because the woman ran away.

 

How old is your daughter and what did she say happened? Was she shaken by the incident?

Those are good questions about her DD. The lack of details about her DD, what her DD did or said, or how her DD felt or is feeling is just one of the reasons why I wonder about this story.

 

The DD was the victim here...and yet there is no indication of how she was affected at all. This is a very, very fresh story...written very soon after the incident. It should have some details about the DD...what she did, how she reacted, what she said, how she was affected. Was she hurt, scared, nonchalant bc she didn't realize what had happened?

 

And IS SHE OKAY now?

 

Those are the type of things you'd naturally include when telling about an attempted kidnapping...what happened to the victim.

[mom2scouts]

I think in that scenario, I would back away slowly. I wouldn't be apt to try to explain myself in that situation.

 

I agree, especially with all the media about the guy who was trying to help the lost 2 year old and got punched by the father.

[MercyA]

This is a joke, right??

 

The mother is NOT at fault for what happened.

 

Oh good grief. 

 

This is unfair.  She had two kids at the park, she was looking at her son for a moment.

 

Not disagreeing with you all, but I'm guessing, based on previous posts, that eve55 is quite young and/or not a native speaker of English. So maybe cut her a little slack.

Edited June 30, 2017 by MercyA

[Angie in VA]

I do not feel like they are being serious enough. They came back with "maybe she thought your daughter needed help" umm...no...my daughter was with friends. Why just my daughter? And if that was what the woman thought, why did she take off like that? Some guy there said he thought that woman was my daughter's mother until I screamed. The police just took the report and gave me a report case number and that was it. With no pictures or video, the description was to the effect of, heavy set light skinned woman with dark hair. That is it. That describes a large portion of the population.

 

Now I am going to be afraid to go to the park for a long time. And I do not buy that the woman was not up to no good because she took off and never said anything at all to me.

 

I'm so sorry this happened to your daughter. How is she doing? THANK GOD the woman you were talking to noticed this in time! (Not a read on you, btw. I'm truly grateful the abductor was stopped!)

 

One a teen girl we know was working at a warehouse-type place. An adult male in his 40's-50's sort of creeped her out, but she kept her distance and there were always other adults around, many of them women. Well, one day all the women were at lunch when a package needed a signature. She found the only adult she could: Creeper. He did and said some inappropriate things afterwards, '"thanking" her for getting him for the signature. Neither of her parents could get to her, so they called the non-emergency number for local police. The woman on dispatch was VERY helpful and understood completely, however neither the male nor female deputies thought much of the incident. "Maybe he hugged her when a handshake would do." Um, no, you are clueless. He didn't need to hug her from behind or tell her he loved her.

 

Creeper got the message that he'd targeted the wrong girl, though. 

 

Management took it very seriously. They let him go immediately. (He was a volunteer.)

 

Boy, I'd be tempted to tell the local news station just to get the word out there to parents, if they'll do a story on it. 

[Janeway]

I made this post then went to bed. Later I felt like I should have included that in my make believe version of the scenario, the mother who reacted in terror at the sight of her child being picked up or dragged (if she didn't see the reason for it) is not actually crazy for being disturbed by the situation. If that mom is me, I see my kid apparently being dragged off, I yell at the woman to leave my kid alone, she does and I sit with my kid, only later thinking, was that an abduction? Maybe I should report it. Naturally real me hopes I would react better, but there's no guarantee of that. My pretend version explains why the other parents treated it like no big deal, though, especially if some of them saw the reason the lady grabbed the child.

The woman got only about 5 feet total with my daughter which I think because she never even got away from the group of kids, no one took it seriously. I pointed out to the officer that if there was no malicious intent, why did the woman take off and why didn't she say anything to me, explain why she had my daughter by the arm and was pulling her away. The woman's hand was positioned above my daughter's elbow. IF I were helping a child, I would not grab them like that. I would ask them to come with me. I would ask other parents if that were their child and that child needs help, etc. My daughter says that the woman asked her where her mom was and my daughter said she did not know and it was after that that the woman grabbed her like that and started pulling her away and trying to make her come. Maybe no one else was shocked because she did not get far, or because we live in what is considered a safe and sleepy town, I don't know. But the way she grabbed my daughter and the fact that the woman took off rather than explain herself really bothers me. 

[Selkie]

Yikes, that is scary, Janeway. I'm glad your dd is okay! Something similar to that just happened in a nearby town. A mom and her young daughter were at a mall and a woman repeatedly approached the little girl and tried to lure her away by offering to buy her something. Word got out because the mom posted a warning to other parents on social media.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Not disagreeing with you all, but I'm guessing, based on previous posts, that eve55 is quite young and/or not a native speaker of English. So maybe cut her a little slack.

 

 

I understand what you are saying, and I don't know anything about that particular poster.  But there ARE people who truly believe that if mothers were just a little bit more careful, this sort of thing wouldn't happen.  

 

It's a psychological trick to protect a person from fear.  When we hear a story on the news, we immediately think, 

 

"Well, my girls would never be out dressed like that, so therefore..."

"I would never be in that part of town after dark, so it couldn't happen to me..."

"I never let my kids out of sight, so they couldn't be taken..."

"My children know to yell "Fire!" and bite, so they would have escaped..."

 

 

We WANT to find a reason why these things can't happen to us.  We SEARCH for evidence that the victim could have prevented it by doing that-thing-I-do-so-it-never-happens-to-me.  

 

So whether eve55 is an ELL or a youth is irrelevant.  Victim blaming is something that should be pointed out.  As far as I know, this is a forum for adults, and a youth who chooses to participate in it should be prepared to be judged through that lens.  Same thing with an ELL.  

Edited June 30, 2017 by Monica_in_Switzerland

[MommyLiberty5013]

The woman got only about 5 feet total with my daughter which I think because she never even got away from the group of kids, no one took it seriously. I pointed out to the officer that if there was no malicious intent, why did the woman take off and why didn't she say anything to me, explain why she had my daughter by the arm and was pulling her away. The woman's hand was positioned above my daughter's elbow. IF I were helping a child, I would not grab them like that. I would ask them to come with me. I would ask other parents if that were their child and that child needs help, etc. My daughter says that the woman asked her where her mom was and my daughter said she did not know and it was after that that the woman grabbed her like that and started pulling her away and trying to make her come. Maybe no one else was shocked because she did not get far, or because we live in what is considered a safe and sleepy town, I don't know. But the way she grabbed my daughter and the fact that the woman took off rather than explain herself really bothers me.

This exactly. Grabbing above the elbow is never a kind or gentle gesture. The only instance of it being gentle is if you're supporting a person by the elbow portion of the arm as they walk and they are frail or ill.

 

If a child were lost, and if you touched them, you'd take their hand. Grabbing this way is a signal of aggression plain and simple.

[Catwoman]

The woman got only about 5 feet total with my daughter which I think because she never even got away from the group of kids, no one took it seriously. I pointed out to the officer that if there was no malicious intent, why did the woman take off and why didn't she say anything to me, explain why she had my daughter by the arm and was pulling her away. The woman's hand was positioned above my daughter's elbow. IF I were helping a child, I would not grab them like that. I would ask them to come with me. I would ask other parents if that were their child and that child needs help, etc. My daughter says that the woman asked her where her mom was and my daughter said she did not know and it was after that that the woman grabbed her like that and started pulling her away and trying to make her come. Maybe no one else was shocked because she did not get far, or because we live in what is considered a safe and sleepy town, I don't know. But the way she grabbed my daughter and the fact that the woman took off rather than explain herself really bothers me.

If you were in the park and a woman forcibly grabbed your child and was dragging her off the playground and you were screaming, "Let go of her! That is my child!" how did none of the other parents notice that? How could they possibly not take it seriously that the woman had tried to kidnap your child?

 

If a mom starts screaming that a stranger is dragging their child away from them in a busy park or on a playground and no one even notices, it's time to find a new park because those people had to have been complete and utter morons. If nothing else, normal parents would have been concerned for the safety of their own children, so even if they didn't immediately rush to help you, multiple people normally would have called 911 -- again, for their own children's safety if not for your dd's.

 

This still makes no sense to me. It doesn't seem possible that people would be so casual about a mom screaming that her dd was being kidnapped, particularly when they could see that the woman was holding her so firmly and dragging her away.

 

Seriously Janeway, it's time to find a new park if no one paid the slightest attention to an attempted kidnapping and a screaming mother.

Edited June 30, 2017 by Catwoman

[Jean in Newcastle]

Exactly how big was this park?  I find it strange that the OP's daughter wouldn't know where her own mother was if she was close by watching.  Even if i was on a bench talking to other moms, the kids could always see me right there next to the playground.  And they would come back and forth to me to tell me stuff or to ask me to watch them do a trick or for a drink of water. . . .

[klmama]

I don't find it that surprising that her dd didn't know where she was.  I've seen many kids who can't find their parents at the playground, even when they haven't moved from where they were when the dc started to play.  I remember a couple of times my own dc starting to yell for me because of not spotting me, and then being totally surprised when I was right there, just a few feet away.