Scarlett Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 I took my ds17 Prius. Wal Mart for new tires. As I am checking in the tech who I imagine is about 35 makes some wise crack about a Prius. I said, well, it's my son's so.... He says, 'is he ( raises eyebrows and bends wrists)?' In my shock all of my clever replies left me....I said, 'no, he isnt'. He says, 'are you sure, cuz ya know?' Smiling like a goofy redneck. I really could not believe he was saying this to me.....I told him my son was young and concerned about economy and the environment and I told him that is the way many young people are now, something he really just couldn't understand. He was stunned enough at that and said, 'well I am not that old'. I said, with a critical eye, 'well you are older than 17'. AND THEN when they were finished he says,'you want those hubcaps put back on?' Um yes. Are you sure? We think it looks better without it. Well, it's my sons car so put them on. Turns out they couldn't. I went out and they were struggling so bad. I heard one say to the other, you are getting your butt kicked by a Prius.....so I said, 'um lets just let the dealer do that'. Btw, I went to the shop I work at, where my son also works, and one of the techs there put them all 4 on in 60 seconds. I am so sorry I let them touch my son's car. Xh who paid for the tires wanted me to go to the dealer....I convinced him WM was fine since it was a lot cheaper. Wow. I just can't believe it still. I thought you all would appreciate the insanity of it. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 He says, 'is he ( raises eyebrows and bends wrists)?' In my shock all of my clever replies left me....I said, 'no, he isnt'. I don't know what this is supposed to mean. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 (edited) tbh - i'd report the LACK of professional attitude to the manager Edited June 16, 2017 by gardenmom5 34 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 I don't know what this is supposed to mean. Gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeenagerMom Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 I don't know what this is supposed to mean. I think the implication was that he was asking if her son is gay. Scarlett, you live in Oklahoma. I am so not surprised (unfortunately). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 What an idiot. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 Oh, the world will be a better place in a couple of decades... When a question about one's child's sexual orientation will still be an inappropriate personal question... But it won't be an insult. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 Gay. Thanks for explaining. I am still puzzled how the gesture is supposed to indicate gayness, but whatever - more puzzling is that anybody would make a remark like that at all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 16, 2017 Author Share Posted June 16, 2017 Thanks for explaining. I am still puzzled how the gesture is supposed to indicate gayness, but whatever - more puzzling is that anybody would make a remark like that at all. Are you putting me on? I mean, you really don't know what that gesture means? 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 (edited) Are you putting me on? I mean, you really don't know what that gesture means? That is what I was wondering. A "limp wrist" has been a derogatory sign for gay for decades. Edited June 17, 2017 by DawnM 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 I sure hope you reported him to management? That is all kinds of not ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 It's not perfectly clear in your description "raises eyebrows and bends wrists" exactly what kind of wrist bending was happening. It took me a minute to put it together too. If you had said that he "did that limp wrist gesture that usually implies male homosexuality" I think she would have got the picture. It's just that your wording was vague -- and plural. Did he do it with both hands? I think, as far as the standard version of the offensive gesure goes, it's usually one handed, and the whole body is kind of asymmetrical, with a twist, or a lifted shoulder, or an over-the shoulder look right? (I feel really strange making derogatory gestures alone in my living room, and trying to discribe them!) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 Are you putting me on? I mean, you really don't know what that gesture means? No. Where does one know that from? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 I would report it to the manager. I also would have asked what does it matter if he is (then imitated his wrist action) and what business is it of yours? I would have asked why he's homophobic. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 No. Where does one know that from? I learned it from Three's Company. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 I would report it to manager and to Wal Mart corporate and on their Facebook page. Totally unacceptable. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 No. Where does one know that from? Kids were using it to bully other kids in my school years. I thought it was widely known! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 I learned it from Three's Company. I suspect that is where most Americans our age learned this from. In my restaurant I has SUPER manly guys who do that to demonstrate that they don't want their bacon overcooked and it ALWAYS makes me grin. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 Not only would I report it to the manager, I would put the whole experience on YELP. That is just awful. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 I suppose your son must not be a "man" if he doesn't drive a truck - or maybe a sports car of some sort? I wonder what they'd say about my young lad (very) recently getting a Ford Focus and being thrilled with it... (sigh) Like others, I'd call management, local first, but then higher up too - just to be sure it got heard somewhere. Who in the world asks that (esp in a derogatory form) about someone else's youngster??? As if you're supposed to agree with them????? 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 I agree that you should absolutely talk to someone. Personally, I would find a contact much higher up than that person's direct manager for that incident. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 No. Where does one know that from? It was very common in the '80's. So was using the term "retard" (as in mentally retarded) while flapping one's arms like a seal as an insult. Sometimes when I watch old movies or TV it is shocking how common and socially acceptable it used to be to do those kinds of things. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 I agree that you should absolutely talk to someone. Personally, I would find a contact much higher up than that person's direct manager for that incident. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk local store manager should be plenty - unless they do nothing. give them an opportunity to even do something. then escalate if needed. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 (edited) And okay - even if the tech was thinking it, why on earth would he let that come out of his mouth as someone in customer service? If your son WAS gay, why would it matter or be this random idiot's business? It's not ebola, he doesn't need to know. What a moron. Edited June 17, 2017 by Arctic Mama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 local store manager should be plenty - unless they do nothing. give them an opportunity to even do something. then escalate if needed. Are they going to give her a review of his consequences? I was a retail store manager. I know how it works. For this particular incident, I would go higher based on my experience in this area. YMMV. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 Hm. You should have said "Well, would you like to meet him? Takes one to know one." Then when he denies it you say "Are you sure??? Cuz......" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 (edited) No. Where does one know that from? It's probably an American sign that you've managed to avoid while you've been here because you don't hang out with the sorts of people who would use it. It's not perfectly clear in your description "raises eyebrows and bends wrists" exactly what kind of wrist bending was happening. It took me a minute to put it together too. If you had said that he "did that limp wrist gesture that usually implies male homosexuality" I think she would have got the picture. It's just that your wording was vague -- and plural. Did he do it with both hands? I think, as far as the standard version of the offensive gesure goes, it's usually one handed, and the whole body is kind of asymmetrical, with a twist, or a lifted shoulder, or an over-the shoulder look right? (I feel really strange making derogatory gestures alone in my living room, and trying to discribe them!) I think the limp wrist is part of a full pose of looking feminine. Imagine a woman striking a flirty, femine pose and with her hand drooping at the end of her arm for a man to take it and kiss it like in olden times. The limp wrist being held out as for a kiss is a way of showing someone is gay. Nowadays, thoughtful people would frown upon making that gesture, but people who don't care would still do it. There are probably gestures in Germany that wouldn't mean anything to us here. Like, for some cultures the middle finger is a major insult, but in other cultures the thumbs up is the insult, while here the thumbs up means "good job" or "yes". Edited June 17, 2017 by Garga 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 I learned it from Three's Company. Yep. Mr Roper. I would report that entire screwed up event to mgmt. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 (edited) Prius has a reputation of being a ladies car here. Don't know why. Still the Walmart car mechanic is rude. No. Where does one know that from? From the city streets of Asia. The "Betty Boop" flirty hand gesture was also used to insult effeminate straight men or to hint that someone is gay or transgender. Edited June 17, 2017 by Arcadia 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 Please report that. So inappropriate and incompetent to boot! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 No. Where does one know that from? Popular culture in the US, mostly in the 70s and 80s (maybe 90s). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 17, 2017 Author Share Posted June 17, 2017 Dh and dss16 and I were discussing the whole thing at dinner just now. Under no scenario would that be funny to say to a teen boys mom. Dss16 said, ' it would be like if that guy pulled up in a big 4 wheel drive and you said to him 'oh you must have a small penis' The entire incident was worth hearing Dss say the word penis out loud. 😂 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 17, 2017 Author Share Posted June 17, 2017 Somehow Dh had missed that part of the story yesterday. When he heard just now he was hopping mad and wanted to call the manager right then. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 I'm surprised, 35 seems a little too young for that particular gesture - I associate it with people a fair bit older than that. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 (edited) I'm surprised, 35 seems a little too young for that particular gesture - I associate it with people a fair bit older than that. I've still seen it in more recent shows. It's usually to point out a bigot, or in a more historical context, but it's there. I know I saw it not that long ago on something......I'm trying to remember what show it was. I could've sworn it was something from BBC I watched on Netflix recently. Obviously the show was NOT condoning it, but it was referenced with someone being antagonistic to a gay man on a show. If I remember what it was I will update the post. Although I doubt a bigoted Walmart mechanic was watching a BBC show, but. You never know! If he was obviously he missed the subtext. ETA: I tried to google and found this article. Apparently the limp wrist thing goes back a pretty long way: http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/explainer/2012/05/sean_harris_on_gay_men_what_do_limp_wrists_have_to_do_with_homosexuality_.html Edited June 17, 2017 by texasmom33 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 I learned the limp wrist gesture from the men in my family, including my dad. I'm 50 (and he's 75). Pretty sure it pre-dates the above-mentioned TV shows. :P I assume younger Americans are familiar with it still. But, considering I had to teach my kid what the middle finger means, maybe not. :P As for the incident, that is pretty shocking. The man has something wrong with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 the gesture is even familiar to me, enough that I knew what Scarlett meant-- and I don't have a clue where from. I spent most of my youth outside the US and not watching American TV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 Of course, the tech is an idiot, but why did you actually buy any tires from him? I would have walked out at the first comment about the car make. You hung around for the guy to keep showing you how ignorant he was. Surely there are other places to take your business? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 17, 2017 Author Share Posted June 17, 2017 Of course, the tech is an idiot, but why did you actually buy any tires from him? I would have walked out at the first comment about the car make. You hung around for the guy to keep showing you how ignorant he was. Surely there are other places to take your business? Yes, hind site is 20/20 and all that. It was WalMart. I didn't think of it in terms of giving him my business. I had an hour carved out to get tires before vacation. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 Even if he was being polite about it, on what planet is it ok to ask a customer if her son is gay based on the kind of car he drives?? Wow. I definitely hope you follow up on this. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 (edited) I learned it from Three's Company. OK, so now please explain to me what that is. I guess some kind of TV show? Edited June 17, 2017 by regentrude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 OK, so now please explain to me what that is. TV show: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three's_Company Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 (edited) . Edited June 17, 2017 by regentrude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
school17777 Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 Are you putting me on? I mean, you really don't know what that gesture means? I have never heard of that before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 . Three's Company was a show where a straight guy pretended to be gay so a landlord would let him live with 2 female roommates. The landlord probably made the "limp wrist" gesture when referring to the guy's sexual orientation. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 Realizing with sadness that people probably have two divergent reasons for being horrified by this man's behavior. :( 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 Idjit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ailaena Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 Just because I was interested and then decided I would share: What do Limp Wrists have to do with Gay Men? http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/explainer/2012/05/sean_harris_on_gay_men_what_do_limp_wrists_have_to_do_with_homosexuality_.html Unacceptable Mannerisms: Gender Anxieties, Homosexual Activism, and Swish in the United States, 1945-1965 https://muse.jhu.edu/article/212748/summary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MBM Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 (edited) I would be tempted to send him some not-so-subtle Gay Pride paraphernalia. Cuz... you know... since he was interested. He's probably not mentally well, though. Edited June 17, 2017 by MBM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 What a **** (bleeping myself.) My husband drove a Prius for 7 years. Yes, people cracked jokes about it. They were ****s, too. We saved a ton of money when gas was in the $4 range. The Prius lived over 300k miles. ****s are dumb. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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