Licking fingers at the dinner table?

[Laura Corin]

I'm curious about different family rules.  I was brought up that you don't lick your fingers during meals at all.  Husband was brought up with finger licking where you are eating with your hands (hamburgers, fried chicken, ribs).  He suggests that the 'Finger-licking good' slogan wouldn't have been used if that hadn't been the norm.  

 

I've divided the poll into family meals, meals at a fast food restaurant and meals at a 'nice' restaurant (however you personally define that); in all cases, please assume that the finger-licker won't be subsequently touching communal food.

[Liz CA]

Grandma would not have allowed finger licking at the table - any table, home or elsewhere.

My mother would have been appalled had we done it at any restaurant but was willing to occasionally overlook it at home.

I sort of adopted the same rules as my mother.  :)

 

[heartlikealion]

If someone got a dab of bbq sauce or ketchup on their finger, I don't think I'd be so appalled at them licking it off. But sitting there licking each finger covered in Doritos cheese? Don't do that around me lol I'm talking about in the home or not so nice place. Nice restaurant, probably best to use a napkin for all of the above. Eating ribs? I'd keep a pile of napkins and those little wet wipes nearby if possible.

[gardenmom5]

at home -it depends upon what you're eating.  but generally discouraged.

ribs . . . we have a stack of rags on the table for people wipe their fingers and face.

fried  chicken ..

 

hamburgers?  they aren't that messy . . . . grab a stack of napkins.

[TranquilMind]

Always revolting. Ugh.

[EmmaNZ]

I married into a pakistani family, so we eat with our fingers often. Not only is it ok to lick your fingers, it is also ok to wipe them around your plate to get up all the juices and sauce.

 

So in light of that I voted yes, ok to lick your fingers at home; yes, ok to lick your fingers in a fast food. I voted other about the 'nice' restaurant, because it depends what kind of restaurant it is. Even in a 'nice' restaurant that serves curry, or middle eastern food, it is ok to lick your fingers. 

[nd293]

I voted 'yes' (outside of the fancy restaurant) assuming that we all agree that 'finger-licking' would be a reasonably discrete exercise involving putting fingertip to the lips, rather than an icecream or lollipop type licking. Also worth saying that I am pretty insistent the kids learn to eat neatly with they hands, aiming for no more than 2 dirty fingers per hand.

Edited August 21, 2016 by nd293

[Guest]

It's not the most attractive practice, but when with family and casual friends eating chicken or ribs, it is common. I'm sure I do it and I don't notice or care if others do. IMO, napkins are not really practical to use after each time you pick up a rib. You will trash your napkin immediately and have nothing clean when you are finished eating.

 

I would not lick fingers at a nice restaurant or dinner party with people I don't know well, but if I'm having chicken at Chick-Fil-A with my daughter, yeah, I'm licking the crumbs and oil off my fingers rather than waste five napkins.

[The Girls' Mom]

No finger-lickin' at fancy restaurants, but it is fair game anywhere else.  Just don't go all slurpy/slobbery on them.

 

Just be glad you weren't ever around dh's aunt, who was known to pop out the ol' dentures and "clean" them up.  

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I think if it's finger food, then finger licking is ok, but at home and fast food.  At a fancy restaurant, I can't imagine eating finger food, so no.  

[OneStepAtATime]

Out on the ranch with the grandparents, yeah, finger licking was way more practical than trying to find that napkin you had shoved in your pocket so it wouldn't blow away.  We at on the picnic table a lot so it was outside.  Definitely o.k.  NO issues.

 

Sit down meals with my parents at home?  Discrete licking was fine (Dad did it more than anyone) but you didn't touch communal food afterwards unless you washed your hands.

 

Fast food restaurants?  I honestly don't recall what the norm was growing up.  We didn't eat fast food that often.  Probably not encouraged but if you weren't blatant about it and it was only once in a while I doubt they would have said anything.

 

Nice restaurant?  Nope.

[Seasider]

Why mess up the formation of a good habit with vascillating boundaries? Finger licking is something I teach my kids to avoid, regardless of the situation.

[marbel]

It's the food, not the venue, for me. 

 

As others have said... fried chicken, ribs, etc., sure.   I agree with Quill on the napkins.  So wasteful. 

 

But, most likely I'm not eating ribs at a fancy place, so I'm not going to lick my fingers there.   But I don't care what people do anyway, when they are only touching their own food. 

 

Of course I have taught my children not to lick their fingers except when eating certain foods, and how to watch for signs that your host or dining mate finds your finger-licking unacceptable.  This is not always fool-proof.  But they learned early that with grandma it's better to waste a tree full of napkins than to lick a finger, even at a casual bbq joint.

[Laura Corin]

It's the food, not the venue, for me.

 

 

At my school, we had to eat crisps (potato chips) with a knife and fork.....

[OneStepAtATime]

Why mess up the formation of a good habit with vascillating boundaries? Finger licking is something I teach my kids to avoid, regardless of the situation.

Well, I could be wrong but I'm betting some people (including my own parents and grandparents) find a one size fits all approach less than ideal to try applying in every single situation in existence.  I don't see it as vacillating boundaries so much as adapting to the realities of any given situation.

 

Plus, as mentioned up thread, there are also cultural differences that may need to be taken into account.

Edited August 21, 2016 by OneStepAtATime

[OneStepAtATime]

At my school, we had to eat crisps (potato chips) with a knife and fork.....

How do you do that successfully?  Don't the chips break apart when you try to cut them?  Crumble?  

[SquirrellyMama]

At my school, we had to eat crisps (potato chips) with a knife and fork.....

How do you do that successfully? Don't the chips break apart when you try to cut them? Crumble?

I'm curious, also. How does that work?

[Seasider]

Well, I could be wrong but I'm betting some people (including my own parents and grandparents) find a one size fits all approach less than ideal to try applying in every single situation in existence. I don't see it as vacillating boundaries so much as adapting to the realities of any given situation.

 

Plus, as mentioned up thread, there are also cultural differences that may need to be taken into account.

I see your point but since I am raising my kids according to my particular cultural norms, I teach them not to lick their fingers.

 

I also teach them not to point out when other people do lick their fingers. I believe that I've trained them in habits that will (a) not offend others they are dining with, regardless of the situation, and (b) allow them to understand that other people/families do things differently. They've all had experiences with different cultures and are quite capable of flexing when appropriate. And as with everything kid, when they become independent, they can change their practices as they wish.

 

For the record, I'm not a one-size-fits-every-circumstance sort of person. Table manners are something that I start training my kids in pretty early, and it's easier to start with a simple rule of "don't lick your fingers."

[Guest]

Well, I could be wrong but I'm betting some people (including my own parents and grandparents) find a one size fits all approach less than ideal to try applying in every single situation in existence. I don't see it as vacillating boundaries so much as adapting to the realities of any given situation.

 

Plus, as mentioned up thread, there are also cultural differences that may need to be taken into account.

That's what I think. It's flexible boundaries, not vascillating boundaries. It applies to a ton of situations.

 

When my kids are at the beach cottage with cousins and family, they can eat Lucky Charms for breakfast and drink sodas for lunch and dinner. We don't do this at home. I don't buy sodas or LC to have at home. But as a treat a few times a year - part of a happy childhood and fun times with their cousins.

 

It's the When in Rome codification. Ribs are messy. Corn on the cob is messy. BBQ chicken is messy. Personally I think the sight of a diner's spot at the table littlered with torn-up, sticky BBQ napkins is a hell of a lot more disgusting than if they discretely press their lips to their fingers throughout the meal and give a good napkin-wipe at the end.

[Laura Corin]

 

I'm curious, also. How does that work?

You slide them between the tines of your fork and transport them whole to your mouth. Whilst the headmistress watches you across the table - we were on tables of twelve or fourteen with an older girl (me) serving and a member of staff at the other end. I was assigned to top table.

[Janeway]

Finger licking, or licking anything, is gross. It is for the dogs. There is no time or place where it is ok to lick yourself, not in front of others for sure.

[Farrar]

To me, the most important habit is the washing of hands before and after meals. And, just, in general. Wash hands regularly. That way, if you need to lick your fingers, you can.

[Laura Corin]

Finger licking, or licking anything, is gross. It is for the dogs. There is no time or place where it is ok to lick yourself, not in front of others for sure.

How do you eat popsicles? Or ice cream cones?

Edited August 21, 2016 by Laura Corin

[Bambam]

Isn't that why we have napkins?

[importswim]

I voted no to all questions. My family is upper-middle class British, however, so that may have something to do with it. 

[Seasider]

How do you eat popsicles? Or ice cream cones?

It is entirely possible to eat hand held food without licking fingers. I admit it's not as convenient, but it is possible.

[magnificent_baby]

I let a lot of things slide in order to pick my battles, but this is not one of them. One of my biggest pet peeves. And I think they picked up the habit from DH. Gross!! 

[Laura Corin]

It is entirely possible to eat hand held food without licking fingers. I admit it's not as convenient, but it is possible.

Janeway said 'licking anything'. That is what I was responding to.

[lllll]

nm

Edited November 7, 2016 by cathey

[luuknam]

If someone got a dab of bbq sauce or ketchup on their finger, I don't think I'd be so appalled at them licking it off. But sitting there licking each finger covered in Doritos cheese? Don't do that around me lol

 

This. For little kids, that'd be almost anywhere. For older kids, probably not in 'nice' restaurants. Little kids maybe not even a tiny dab of ketchup in a $$$ restaurant (not that I've ever taken kids there), but in places like Olive Garden, I'm like w/e. So long as it's not over and over and over, and not entire fingers/hands.

 

Can't remember the last time the kids or I had ribs.

[Guest]

Why mess up the formation of a good habit with vascillating boundaries? Finger licking is something I teach my kids to avoid, regardless of the situation.

I agree. If there are manners I wanted mine to have when we were out, I enforced them at home too.

[Arcadia]

My extended family and my hubby's extended family don't think it is proper even at home. However younger kids would just get a napkin handed over to them while older ones would get a gentle reprimand. We would be reminded that utensils are there for us to use. I ate KFC with fork and knife because I didn't want my hands oily.

[SKL]

I was taught not to lick fingers at the table.  (Home without guests, my folks weren't too picky as long as nobody was being extremely gross.)

 

I lick my fingers in public.  I wouldn't do it in an interview lunch or similar, though.  :P

 

I don't remember whether I've done it or not, but my usual instruction to my kids about this sort of thing is, "technically it is bad manners to lick your fingers, so don't do it at fancy places or with fancy people."

 

I plan to give my kids my old "Miss Manners" book to make up for their poor upbringing.

 

About a third of our meals are Indian food, which you are supposed to eat with your hands.  Granted, there is a polite way to eat with your hands, but it's hard to get picky about finger licking when you are eating with your hands.  :)

[Laura Corin]

I voted no to all questions. My family is upper-middle class British, however, so that may have something to do with it.

Mine too. No ribs, fried chicken or hamburgers in my upbringing. Husband is from Texas.

[Farrar]

How do the anti-lickers feel about finger bowls?

Edited August 21, 2016 by Farrar

[Laura Corin]

How do the anti-lickers feel about finger bowls?

Fine, but I haven't seen one in decades.

[Farrar]

Fine, but I haven't seen one in decades.

 

Nor have I. But they're the only reasonable non-lick solution I know of for ribs and fried chicken and so forth. Well, piles of wet-wipes. But that's icky to me for some reason that I can't quite put my finger on...

[Laura Corin]

Nor have I. But they're the only reasonable non-lick solution I know of for ribs and fried chicken and so forth. Well, piles of wet-wipes. But that's icky to me for some reason that I can't quite put my finger on...

Wet wipes taste horrible, so you would be transferring that taste back to your food.

[Farrar]

Wet wipes taste horrible, so you would be transferring that taste back to your food.

 

Yes. That's it, I think. They're okay at the end of the meal, I guess.

[ktgrok]

Slurping on fingers and making a huge deal of it, not okay. Minor licking while eating messy finger food, whatever. Life is way too short to care about that. Lick away. 

[lexi]

Growing up, licking fingers was never allowed in my home no matter what we were eating.

In hubby's family it was allowed.

 

In our home it is not allowed. I find it disgusting no matter what you are eating. So we hand out lots of napkins for the kids.

 

I really have a hard time when people lick their fingers and then serve themselves from a shared bowl or pass food around the table. That is so gross to me. I also have a rule about double dipping in sauces. That is also not allowed.

 

I might be a slight germaphobe. Oh well.

[Seasider]

Growing up, licking fingers was never allowed in my home no matter what we were eating.

In hubby's family it was allowed.

 

In our home it is not allowed. I find it disgusting no matter what you are eating. So we hand out lots of napkins for the kids.

 

I really have a hard time when people lick their fingers and then serve themselves from a shared bowl or pass food around the table. That is so gross to me. I also have a rule about double dipping in sauces. That is also not allowed.

 

I might be a slight germaphobe. Oh well.

What about people who lick their fingers to turn pages in a book or pile of papers? That also bothers me.

[ktgrok]

What about people who lick their fingers to turn pages in a book or pile of papers? That also bothers me.

 

Lol, I do that too. I'm hopeless I guess. 

 

A little spit never hurt anyone :)  I use it to clean marks off my kids faces too :)

[Ellie]

Grubby, greasy fingers are the reason that you have napkins.

[Janeway]

How do you eat popsicles? Or ice cream cones?

not licking my fingers, or any other body part. How do you eat them?

[Janie Grace]

I voted no to all questions. My family is upper-middle class British, however, so that may have something to do with it. 

 

Same.

[BarbecueMom]

I think it's gross. But I also think watching someone eat with a fork or spoon is gross. Watching someone lick an ice cream cone is gross. Watching someone chug a drink is gross. Watching someone swallow a pill is gross. Helping my kids brush their teeth is gross. Brushing my own teeth is gross! Observing anyone put anything in their mouth for any reason is honestly kinda gross. Obviously an essential part of life but... still gross. It's all on the same level for me and my weak gag reflex. Where's the barf emoji...

[DragonFaerie]

As some others have said, I think it depends on the "level" of finger-licking. I have no problem licking a couple of crumbs or a dab or catsup off my fingers rather than go through a ton of napkins.  But no, I would not be sluping and shoving whole fingers in my mouth anywhere.  Now, if I'm having a snack while watching TV, all bets are off. :D

[Seasider]

Where's the barf emoji...

That's gross.

 

(Sorry, couldn't resist!)

[Laura Corin]

not licking my fingers, or any other body part. How do you eat them?

 

I only asked that because you said that we shouldn't lick 'anything':

 

'Finger licking, or licking anything, is gross.'

 

So I just wondered....