Laura Corin Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 I'm curious about different family rules. I was brought up that you don't lick your fingers during meals at all. Husband was brought up with finger licking where you are eating with your hands (hamburgers, fried chicken, ribs). He suggests that the 'Finger-licking good' slogan wouldn't have been used if that hadn't been the norm. I've divided the poll into family meals, meals at a fast food restaurant and meals at a 'nice' restaurant (however you personally define that); in all cases, please assume that the finger-licker won't be subsequently touching communal food. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Grandma would not have allowed finger licking at the table - any table, home or elsewhere. My mother would have been appalled had we done it at any restaurant but was willing to occasionally overlook it at home. I sort of adopted the same rules as my mother. :) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 If someone got a dab of bbq sauce or ketchup on their finger, I don't think I'd be so appalled at them licking it off. But sitting there licking each finger covered in Doritos cheese? Don't do that around me lol I'm talking about in the home or not so nice place. Nice restaurant, probably best to use a napkin for all of the above. Eating ribs? I'd keep a pile of napkins and those little wet wipes nearby if possible. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 at home -it depends upon what you're eating. but generally discouraged. ribs . . . we have a stack of rags on the table for people wipe their fingers and face. fried chicken .. hamburgers? they aren't that messy . . . . grab a stack of napkins. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Always revolting. Ugh. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmmaNZ Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 I married into a pakistani family, so we eat with our fingers often. Not only is it ok to lick your fingers, it is also ok to wipe them around your plate to get up all the juices and sauce. So in light of that I voted yes, ok to lick your fingers at home; yes, ok to lick your fingers in a fast food. I voted other about the 'nice' restaurant, because it depends what kind of restaurant it is. Even in a 'nice' restaurant that serves curry, or middle eastern food, it is ok to lick your fingers. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 (edited) I voted 'yes' (outside of the fancy restaurant) assuming that we all agree that 'finger-licking' would be a reasonably discrete exercise involving putting fingertip to the lips, rather than an icecream or lollipop type licking. Also worth saying that I am pretty insistent the kids learn to eat neatly with they hands, aiming for no more than 2 dirty fingers per hand. Edited August 21, 2016 by nd293 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 It's not the most attractive practice, but when with family and casual friends eating chicken or ribs, it is common. I'm sure I do it and I don't notice or care if others do. IMO, napkins are not really practical to use after each time you pick up a rib. You will trash your napkin immediately and have nothing clean when you are finished eating. I would not lick fingers at a nice restaurant or dinner party with people I don't know well, but if I'm having chicken at Chick-Fil-A with my daughter, yeah, I'm licking the crumbs and oil off my fingers rather than waste five napkins. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 No finger-lickin' at fancy restaurants, but it is fair game anywhere else. Just don't go all slurpy/slobbery on them. Just be glad you weren't ever around dh's aunt, who was known to pop out the ol' dentures and "clean" them up. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 I think if it's finger food, then finger licking is ok, but at home and fast food. At a fancy restaurant, I can't imagine eating finger food, so no. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Out on the ranch with the grandparents, yeah, finger licking was way more practical than trying to find that napkin you had shoved in your pocket so it wouldn't blow away. We at on the picnic table a lot so it was outside. Definitely o.k. NO issues. Sit down meals with my parents at home? Discrete licking was fine (Dad did it more than anyone) but you didn't touch communal food afterwards unless you washed your hands. Fast food restaurants? I honestly don't recall what the norm was growing up. We didn't eat fast food that often. Probably not encouraged but if you weren't blatant about it and it was only once in a while I doubt they would have said anything. Nice restaurant? Nope. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Why mess up the formation of a good habit with vascillating boundaries? Finger licking is something I teach my kids to avoid, regardless of the situation. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 It's the food, not the venue, for me. As others have said... fried chicken, ribs, etc., sure. I agree with Quill on the napkins. So wasteful. But, most likely I'm not eating ribs at a fancy place, so I'm not going to lick my fingers there. But I don't care what people do anyway, when they are only touching their own food. Of course I have taught my children not to lick their fingers except when eating certain foods, and how to watch for signs that your host or dining mate finds your finger-licking unacceptable. This is not always fool-proof. But they learned early that with grandma it's better to waste a tree full of napkins than to lick a finger, even at a casual bbq joint. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted August 21, 2016 Author Share Posted August 21, 2016 It's the food, not the venue, for me. At my school, we had to eat crisps (potato chips) with a knife and fork..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 (edited) Why mess up the formation of a good habit with vascillating boundaries? Finger licking is something I teach my kids to avoid, regardless of the situation. Well, I could be wrong but I'm betting some people (including my own parents and grandparents) find a one size fits all approach less than ideal to try applying in every single situation in existence. I don't see it as vacillating boundaries so much as adapting to the realities of any given situation. Plus, as mentioned up thread, there are also cultural differences that may need to be taken into account. Edited August 21, 2016 by OneStepAtATime 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 At my school, we had to eat crisps (potato chips) with a knife and fork..... How do you do that successfully? Don't the chips break apart when you try to cut them? Crumble? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 At my school, we had to eat crisps (potato chips) with a knife and fork..... How do you do that successfully? Don't the chips break apart when you try to cut them? Crumble? I'm curious, also. How does that work? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Well, I could be wrong but I'm betting some people (including my own parents and grandparents) find a one size fits all approach less than ideal to try applying in every single situation in existence. I don't see it as vacillating boundaries so much as adapting to the realities of any given situation. Plus, as mentioned up thread, there are also cultural differences that may need to be taken into account. I see your point but since I am raising my kids according to my particular cultural norms, I teach them not to lick their fingers. I also teach them not to point out when other people do lick their fingers. I believe that I've trained them in habits that will (a) not offend others they are dining with, regardless of the situation, and (b) allow them to understand that other people/families do things differently. They've all had experiences with different cultures and are quite capable of flexing when appropriate. And as with everything kid, when they become independent, they can change their practices as they wish. For the record, I'm not a one-size-fits-every-circumstance sort of person. Table manners are something that I start training my kids in pretty early, and it's easier to start with a simple rule of "don't lick your fingers." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Well, I could be wrong but I'm betting some people (including my own parents and grandparents) find a one size fits all approach less than ideal to try applying in every single situation in existence. I don't see it as vacillating boundaries so much as adapting to the realities of any given situation. Plus, as mentioned up thread, there are also cultural differences that may need to be taken into account. That's what I think. It's flexible boundaries, not vascillating boundaries. It applies to a ton of situations. When my kids are at the beach cottage with cousins and family, they can eat Lucky Charms for breakfast and drink sodas for lunch and dinner. We don't do this at home. I don't buy sodas or LC to have at home. But as a treat a few times a year - part of a happy childhood and fun times with their cousins. It's the When in Rome codification. Ribs are messy. Corn on the cob is messy. BBQ chicken is messy. Personally I think the sight of a diner's spot at the table littlered with torn-up, sticky BBQ napkins is a hell of a lot more disgusting than if they discretely press their lips to their fingers throughout the meal and give a good napkin-wipe at the end. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted August 21, 2016 Author Share Posted August 21, 2016 I'm curious, also. How does that work? You slide them between the tines of your fork and transport them whole to your mouth. Whilst the headmistress watches you across the table - we were on tables of twelve or fourteen with an older girl (me) serving and a member of staff at the other end. I was assigned to top table. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Finger licking, or licking anything, is gross. It is for the dogs. There is no time or place where it is ok to lick yourself, not in front of others for sure. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 To me, the most important habit is the washing of hands before and after meals. And, just, in general. Wash hands regularly. That way, if you need to lick your fingers, you can. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted August 21, 2016 Author Share Posted August 21, 2016 (edited) Finger licking, or licking anything, is gross. It is for the dogs. There is no time or place where it is ok to lick yourself, not in front of others for sure. How do you eat popsicles? Or ice cream cones? Edited August 21, 2016 by Laura Corin 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Isn't that why we have napkins? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
importswim Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 I voted no to all questions. My family is upper-middle class British, however, so that may have something to do with it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 How do you eat popsicles? Or ice cream cones? It is entirely possible to eat hand held food without licking fingers. I admit it's not as convenient, but it is possible. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 I let a lot of things slide in order to pick my battles, but this is not one of them. One of my biggest pet peeves. And I think they picked up the habit from DH. Gross!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted August 21, 2016 Author Share Posted August 21, 2016 It is entirely possible to eat hand held food without licking fingers. I admit it's not as convenient, but it is possible. Janeway said 'licking anything'. That is what I was responding to. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 (edited) nm Edited November 7, 2016 by cathey 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luuknam Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 If someone got a dab of bbq sauce or ketchup on their finger, I don't think I'd be so appalled at them licking it off. But sitting there licking each finger covered in Doritos cheese? Don't do that around me lol This. For little kids, that'd be almost anywhere. For older kids, probably not in 'nice' restaurants. Little kids maybe not even a tiny dab of ketchup in a $$$ restaurant (not that I've ever taken kids there), but in places like Olive Garden, I'm like w/e. So long as it's not over and over and over, and not entire fingers/hands. Can't remember the last time the kids or I had ribs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Why mess up the formation of a good habit with vascillating boundaries? Finger licking is something I teach my kids to avoid, regardless of the situation. I agree. If there are manners I wanted mine to have when we were out, I enforced them at home too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 My extended family and my hubby's extended family don't think it is proper even at home. However younger kids would just get a napkin handed over to them while older ones would get a gentle reprimand. We would be reminded that utensils are there for us to use. I ate KFC with fork and knife because I didn't want my hands oily. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 I was taught not to lick fingers at the table. (Home without guests, my folks weren't too picky as long as nobody was being extremely gross.) I lick my fingers in public. I wouldn't do it in an interview lunch or similar, though. :P I don't remember whether I've done it or not, but my usual instruction to my kids about this sort of thing is, "technically it is bad manners to lick your fingers, so don't do it at fancy places or with fancy people." I plan to give my kids my old "Miss Manners" book to make up for their poor upbringing. About a third of our meals are Indian food, which you are supposed to eat with your hands. Granted, there is a polite way to eat with your hands, but it's hard to get picky about finger licking when you are eating with your hands. :) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted August 21, 2016 Author Share Posted August 21, 2016 I voted no to all questions. My family is upper-middle class British, however, so that may have something to do with it. Mine too. No ribs, fried chicken or hamburgers in my upbringing. Husband is from Texas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 (edited) How do the anti-lickers feel about finger bowls? Edited August 21, 2016 by Farrar 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted August 21, 2016 Author Share Posted August 21, 2016 How do the anti-lickers feel about finger bowls? Fine, but I haven't seen one in decades. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Fine, but I haven't seen one in decades. Nor have I. But they're the only reasonable non-lick solution I know of for ribs and fried chicken and so forth. Well, piles of wet-wipes. But that's icky to me for some reason that I can't quite put my finger on... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted August 21, 2016 Author Share Posted August 21, 2016 Nor have I. But they're the only reasonable non-lick solution I know of for ribs and fried chicken and so forth. Well, piles of wet-wipes. But that's icky to me for some reason that I can't quite put my finger on... Wet wipes taste horrible, so you would be transferring that taste back to your food. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Wet wipes taste horrible, so you would be transferring that taste back to your food. Yes. That's it, I think. They're okay at the end of the meal, I guess. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Slurping on fingers and making a huge deal of it, not okay. Minor licking while eating messy finger food, whatever. Life is way too short to care about that. Lick away. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lexi Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Growing up, licking fingers was never allowed in my home no matter what we were eating. In hubby's family it was allowed. In our home it is not allowed. I find it disgusting no matter what you are eating. So we hand out lots of napkins for the kids. I really have a hard time when people lick their fingers and then serve themselves from a shared bowl or pass food around the table. That is so gross to me. I also have a rule about double dipping in sauces. That is also not allowed. I might be a slight germaphobe. Oh well. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Growing up, licking fingers was never allowed in my home no matter what we were eating. In hubby's family it was allowed. In our home it is not allowed. I find it disgusting no matter what you are eating. So we hand out lots of napkins for the kids. I really have a hard time when people lick their fingers and then serve themselves from a shared bowl or pass food around the table. That is so gross to me. I also have a rule about double dipping in sauces. That is also not allowed. I might be a slight germaphobe. Oh well. What about people who lick their fingers to turn pages in a book or pile of papers? That also bothers me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 What about people who lick their fingers to turn pages in a book or pile of papers? That also bothers me. Lol, I do that too. I'm hopeless I guess. A little spit never hurt anyone :) I use it to clean marks off my kids faces too :) 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Grubby, greasy fingers are the reason that you have napkins. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 How do you eat popsicles? Or ice cream cones? not licking my fingers, or any other body part. How do you eat them? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 I voted no to all questions. My family is upper-middle class British, however, so that may have something to do with it. Same. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 I think it's gross. But I also think watching someone eat with a fork or spoon is gross. Watching someone lick an ice cream cone is gross. Watching someone chug a drink is gross. Watching someone swallow a pill is gross. Helping my kids brush their teeth is gross. Brushing my own teeth is gross! Observing anyone put anything in their mouth for any reason is honestly kinda gross. Obviously an essential part of life but... still gross. It's all on the same level for me and my weak gag reflex. Where's the barf emoji... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 As some others have said, I think it depends on the "level" of finger-licking. I have no problem licking a couple of crumbs or a dab or catsup off my fingers rather than go through a ton of napkins. But no, I would not be sluping and shoving whole fingers in my mouth anywhere. Now, if I'm having a snack while watching TV, all bets are off. :D 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted August 21, 2016 Share Posted August 21, 2016 Where's the barf emoji... That's gross. (Sorry, couldn't resist!) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted August 21, 2016 Author Share Posted August 21, 2016 not licking my fingers, or any other body part. How do you eat them? I only asked that because you said that we shouldn't lick 'anything': 'Finger licking, or licking anything, is gross.' So I just wondered.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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