Difficult housing decision w/ poll -- update in post #44

[pinkmint]

Edit: *Poll removed* It's over now

 

Because of our budget/ income, no housing option is going to be ideal. That's a given, so it is what it is. That said, we applied for a house for rent last weekend and are waiting to hear if we were chosen among the other applicants. We're trying to decide if we should move forward with it if we are chosen. Here are the 2 choices:

 

Option 1: Stay at our current rental house. 

 

Pros -- It is about 1000 square feet which is small by most Americans' standards but large for our budget. It has a small attached garage where we can store items we're not using. It has a small backyard with a high wooden fence that provides some privacy. The rent is very low. The landlord keeps his distance and doesn't come poking around, but does get serious problems fixed when requested. 

 

Cons -- It was built in the early 1980's and is old in a not-cute way (cheap, decaying fixtures and finishes/ diarrhea inspired color pallet) . It has wall to wall cheap, ugly, dirty carpet that is a possible trigger for the 3/5 of our household that suffer significant allergy and asthma issues. The neighborhood is on the decline but we've never personally had problems. That said, there is a stray dog issue, people smoking weed and drinking brown bagged beverages outside as well as a lack of pride in the appearance of things (trash etc). 

 

Option 2: Move into this other place

 

Pros -- Old in a cute way. Built in the 1950's with a vintage feel and a nice bright color pallet. It has wall to wall wood flooring which would be possibly better for our health and easier to deal with all the things my kids spill. It has a small converted/ finished garage that could possibly be used for a playroom/ homeschool room. The yard is significantly bigger. It has covered parking (TX is hot). Neighborhood seems better and more family friendly but still lower income. 

 

Cons -- The house itself is about 750 square feet. Yes, that's right. For 5 people. The converted garage/ possible playroom is separate from the house and I don't know how I feel about going back and forth all the time/ kids being in there without me etc. The backyard has a low chainlink fence with basically zero privacy and low enough for a dog to jump over if it wanted to. The rent is a little more. The landlord seems a little high-strung (we met her) and I'm concerned she'll be poking around all the time. 

 

Edited June 17, 2016 by pinkmint

[Guest]

I voted option 1. Can you ask the landlord to possibly replace the carpet? Landlords like good tenents and will often go the extra step to keep them. If I was your landlord I would definitely consider the hassle of finding a new tenant I know nothing about versus the relatively small cost of re-flooring 1k sq ft which is minuscule for someone who owns enough property to be a landlord. I mean that's what part of your rent is going for anyway- maintenance and things like flooring are maintenance.

[pinkmint]

I voted option 1. Can you ask the landlord to possibly replace the carpet? Landlords like good tenents and will often go the extra step to keep them. If I was your landlord I would definitely consider the hassle of finding a new tenant I know nothing about versus the relatively small cost of re-flooring 1k sq ft which is minuscule for someone who owns enough property to be a landlord. I mean that's what part of your rent is going for anyway- maintenance and things like flooring are maintenance.

 

We did ask him. He said no. Even though our friend from church is a licensed contractor and we have another friend who is the VP of a flooring company. So that's part of why we want to find somewhere else. 

[Ethel Mertz]

Stay where you are and keep looking (if you can't get the landlord to do something about the flooring).

[Annie G]

Agree with Ethel.  Stay put but keep looking. The separate finished garage at the new place seems useless with young kids like yours. They can't really play out there alone and you're not going to want to be stuck out there while they play. And the house is too small for five people.

[mommyoffive]

Stay where you are and keep looking (if you can't get the landlord to do something about the flooring).

 

agreed

[ashfern]

I'd stay in the first place since it's significantly larger. I can see why the landlord won't replace the carpet. He's probably figuring that with little ones he'd have to replace it again. When you asked him about doing it did you give him quotes of what it would cost using your contacts? 

[lllll]

nm

Edited November 30, 2016 by cathey

[prairiewindmomma]

I would choose option 2, or wait for something better.

 

Given your other posts about asthma, you really need to go somewhere carpet free.  

 

Your kids are very young.....bunkbeds + mattress under the bed that you pull out at night is totally doable.  I'd get rid of whatever you need to to fit.  750 sq ft is small, but not unheard of.

[momof4inco]

The house we are renting was also built in the 1980's, with beautiful (ugly) old laminate counters and old cabinets. The carpet and tile were new when we moved in. We have changed out some faucets and lights because... they were just plain horrid. We have freshened up the horrible paint job, changing one color just enough to make it nicer but not enough to make the landlord notice. Our landlord is also very hands-off, but he immediately fixes everything that needs fixing. I think he leaves us alone because he knows we have improved the place and not caused any problems.

 

We also have contemplated moving. Our neighborhood is okay, lots of kids and never a safety concern. People in every neighborhood could potentially be smoking pot here (wonderful Colorado). We stay because he hasn't raised rent in over 8 years and the known can be far better than the unknown. If you already have concerns about the new landlord, you might want to steer clear of that.

 

You could ask the landlord if he will let you refresh the paint and change a few fixtures, if they bother you enough. I would definitely clean the carpet, even if it's old it would help some. I hate putting money into a rental house, but there are some things that I just can't live with for as long as we have been here.

[Xahm]

I would move. Get a decent baby monitor to plug in the playroom building so they can be there with you in the main house. Your family's health is important and it sounds like you will be much more comfortable and less stressed in the new neighborhood.

[pinkmint]

I would choose option 2, or wait for something better.

 

Given your other posts about asthma, you really need to go somewhere carpet free.

 

Your kids are very young.....bunkbeds + mattress under the bed that you pull out at night is totally doable. I'd get rid of whatever you need to to fit. 750 sq ft is small, but not unheard of.

I was kinda thinking this too.

 

It's not going to be fun but neither is having a toddler staying in the hospital with severe asthma episodes. I don't know for a fact the carpet is a trigger but it probably isn't good.

 

I'm leaning towards moving to the other place. I feel like we don't have much choice. With our budget there's basically no reasonable choices. It's either this or live in a decent sized house in a very high crime area. Being poor is fun.

[poppy]

No freaking way would I live in option 1 with 3 asthma / allergy sufferers.  No way.  I grew up that way in the 80s.  It is miserable, daily. No.

 

Do you live somewhere where it is warm year round, so you can have a good amount of outdoor play daily?

[pinkmint]

Yes we definitely talked about a baby monitor for the converted garage. That would be a must.

[frogger]

I have lived with 6 people in 1000 square feet and 5 in 800 and also have asthma. If my children were young, and it sounds like yours are, I would be seriously tempted to move to the smaller place. I would also keep looking until the papers were signed just in case something better popped up. A picky landlord could mean she is down your throat a lot but it may also mean she takes care of everything better. I do wonder about that though. If she is fussy why is she letting you move in? When we were renting we kept running into fire code issues. Most landlords won't allow for more than 2 people per room due to fire codes and/or more wear and tear on their place.

[pinkmint]

The house actually has 3 bedrooms within that 750 sq ft. They are tiny but there's 3 of them. We would have to be ruthless about clutter. I just meant the landlady seems very detailed and asks a million questions, which maybe it's true that she's just conscientious and that could be good. The unknown is always nerve wracking.

 

I feel like we should do it but thinking about it I feel torn. There's basically nothing out there in our price range that isn't either 3 hours from dh work or in Murderville. So this seems like a rare opportunity for us in that its a decent area and actually cuts a few minutes off dh commute.

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited November 30, 2016 by cathey

[Haiku]

Given how unhappy you have been in the current place and how much (it seems to me) to contribute to your feeling ground down and without options, I would get out of there and move to a cheerier, better-located home. You can make the detached garage thing work. Being in a more refreshing, safe, and attractive environment (both the house and the neighborhood) will likely improve your outlook.

[Ewe Mama]

Could you tell the landlord at your current place that you are planning to move because of the carpeting issue? If he would replace the flooring, you would sign a lease for x---- months, years. would he have a hard time renting it out again and lose money, or would it be snapped up by someone else? It sounds like it would be hard to find another renter because it is so cosmetically unappealing.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I'd have packed already, for option #2.

Do your waiting for a better place there.

[Rachel]

Is the new house in a safer area? Could the kids play outside, could you go or walks?

[Butter]

We were renting when Fritz was diagnosed with a very severe dust mite allergy.  We replaced the carpet with laminate on our own dime.  We got permission from the owners of course.  They said we could do it if we didn't have them pay.  It was worth it for his health.  He got quite a bit healthier after we removed that carpet.  I don't know if that's an option.

[MistyMountain]

I like option 2 better and it is what I would chose. I rather be in a safer low income neighborhood without a seedy element with hardwood floors closer to work even if it meant sacrificing space. The biggest downside is the high strung landlord. That could be a real annoyance.

Edited June 15, 2016 by MistyMountain

[TammyS]

I chose option 2.  I thought hard about option 1 and asking the landlord to spruce it up a bit (he might do some modest improvements to keep good tenants), but I think the neighborhood is  the tie breaker for me.

 

Here is my story: we moved from 750sqft UGLY house to 1326sqft decent house.  I really thought what we were going to love was the extra space, but in fact, we still act like we live in a smaller home (this is probably because of our family culture, we chose a house with large living spaces and tiny bedrooms because we don't want the kids hanging out in the bedrooms all the time and the family being divided).  We all hang out in the living room most of the time.  Go figure.  What I didn't expect was just how much better I feel, mentally and emotionally, being out of that UGLY house.  I never knew how much it dragged my mood down until it wasn't doing it anymore.  And our neighborhood was actually really safe (so is the new one).  I think you might find that you will FEEL so much better in a more attractive house and neighborhood.

 

So combining your ugly house with ugly/unsafe neighborhood, I say move and take the space cut.  Honestly, I'm not sure the space difference will matter that much.  Does the difference mean less actual rooms or just smaller rooms?

Edited June 15, 2016 by TammyS

[TammyS]

The house actually has 3 bedrooms within that 750 sq ft. They are tiny but there's 3 of them. We would have to be ruthless about clutter. I just meant the landlady seems very detailed and asks a million questions, which maybe it's true that she's just conscientious and that could be good. The unknown is always nerve wracking.

 

I feel like we should do it but thinking about it I feel torn. There's basically nothing out there in our price range that isn't either 3 hours from dh work or in Murderville. So this seems like a rare opportunity for us in that its a decent area and actually cuts a few minutes off dh commute.

 

Ok, 3 bedrooms (our old tiny place had 2), is much more doable.  Put all 3 kids in one bedroom (bunk beds and dressers only).  Toys in the living room, because you'll have to supervise them anyway.  Use the 3rd bedroom for an office/project room.  This is where you are going to put your "adult only" items, to keep the safe from the kids (business papers, hobby items, etc).  You can also put a chair and table in there for doing hobby work if you have that (sewing or other things that are better suited to leaving set up out of reach of the kids). 

 

Use the garage for whatever makes the most sense for you.  I don't think with kids this little you need a schoolroom, but if makes your life feel better, then do it.

[Ravin]

We kept choosing a setup very similar to Option 1, until the landlord decided to refuse to renew our lease this year. I'm not a fan of moving. Moving is expensive.

 

OTOH, I am a fan of downsizing. I would probably go with Option 2 unless it is a significant hardship to move now. 

[Carol in Cal.]

I picked 2 because I have asthma and I know how fast it can go downhill and how important avoiding carpets and smoke are to preventing that.  

 

It's a very tiny place, which would be a hardship, so I'd be looking for something better as a hobby from day 1, and probably trying to rent a small storage unit as well.

[Wheres Toto]

Well, we've had 5 people in 750 square feet.   It's obnoxious but doable.  Your kids are young enough that sharing rooms can be done a variety of ways.

 

We also only have a detached garage.  Ours is right up at the street and is not finished by any stretch (it's also not rodent or insect-tight).  We only use it for storage in very well sealed plastic containers.

 

A larger yard is a plus somewhere that is warm year round.  The low chainlink might not be much of an issue if the neighbors aren't super-close, or it's a nice neighborhood.

[BrittanyM]

I would pick option 3 and get a friend to help me install affordable new flooring. If your new location is going to cost more anyway it seems better to invest in the flooring to me. Also a lot of the time a landlord might be more willing to pay materials if you cover labor, or did you already ask him about that?

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Guest]

Definitely option 2. It's amazing how much a bright, happy (albeit small) house can improve your mood. Small is doable. Ugly and dirty is just...depressing.

[pinkmint]

I so agree with those of you who say a visually pleasing home makes a big difference. I guess it affects some people more than others and it affects me a lot.

 

Especially with a rental you're held back from making changes if the landlord isn't into it, and our current landlord isn't into any changes, even ones that are a huge improvement IMO. It's like he wants this place to be cheap and ugly (and dirty/gross/unhealthy). I guess he has his reasons.

 

I hope that we are approved for the new place. I will update when we find out. She said we'll know by the end of the week.

Edited June 16, 2016 by pinkmint

[foxbridgeacademy]

We did 4 people, 2 were small children in a 600 sq ft place to save $$ and while it was crazy tight it did work.  The last house we lived in the landlord, nice  enough guy, would not take care of the mold problem that was causing DS to have asthma attacks.  I talked to him several times and every time he came up with a new "quick fix" for the moisture issue.  Finally DH took a new job and we had to move.  DS has no issues any more, asthma and skin rashes are gone.  So yeah, moving is probably the best thing.

[Garga]

Option 2 is a better location and you know what they say: location, location, location.

 

Well usually. Sometimes location does not trump potential problems. But I think that with a good monitor the garage will work, and with the carpets gone, hopefully everyone will feel better physically, and with the prettier house you will feel better emotionally.

Edited June 16, 2016 by Garga

[Garga]

750 sq ft is pretty small, but I like the idea someone had of putting the three kids in one room for now and turning the 3rd bedroom into an extra room. And even if not, then pare down to the smallest bit of basics to keep the house from getting cluttered.

[Audrey]

I voted for option 3.  Keep looking.  I would have said option 2 if not for your description of the landlord.  Smaller space is fine, but not if it comes with a busybody flake of a landlord.  No way.

[Spryte]

I voted for option 2, but keeping looking is a good option, too.

 

I do think you need to move. Asthma. There could be permanent damage to little lungs. It's not worth staying with the carpet. Also, I recall your other posts about stray dogs and the neighborhood. The other house just feels more ... Hopeful. Small spaces aren't ideal, but can be doable. And as the kids grow, you could plan to move to another place then.

 

Mostly - asthma. I'd get out now. And then if you want to look again in a year... Do that.

 

Whatever you decide, I hope you get the option to move if you want it!

[heartlikealion]

Well would the expense of moving and the new rent be a financial hardship? If so, then I would keep looking for a while I guess. You might have the cost of boxes, moving truck, deposits, switching utilities, etc.

[minuway]

I vote for 2 - we had a similar situation (although it was moving from a depressing 1500 sq ft house with no yard in a scary, hostile neighborhood to a vintage/cute 1100 sq foot house with nice yard front and back and  attached garage - that we use as storage and playroom. Night and day difference!  The general *feel* of a house makes a huge difference, at least to those who are sensitive to such things.  I actually just had a nightmare where we had to move back to the old place and woke up nearly in a panic attack. 

 

Your families health issues are even more important - if you feel like this is an uncommon opportunity I would go for it.

 

 

I wouldn't worry about the landlord, she's probably just conscientious.

[LMD]

2 sounds good to me except for the fence and the possibly annoying landlord.

 

The size wouldn't bother me, I prefer smaller houses. We are currently in a similar sized house and it is small but doable.

Hardwood floors and shorter commute are big huge draws, I hate carpet.

 

The fence thing would bother me, it would mean that playing outside is difficult - and with the small inside space the outside will be a lifesaver (ask me how I know!) But I don't know how normal that is for your area, it's virtually non existent here...

[Harriet Vane]

As an asthma sufferer and as someone who was truly poor for many years, I vote for the new place. Hands down. Space is not more important than health. It is much, much easier to learn how to live tiny than to spend your days wheezing.

 

I think you will figure out how to make the space and the garage work for you. And I think a low fence is less of a hardship than that asthma-inducing carpet.

 

As for fussy landlord, just kill her with kindness and show her what an awesome tenant you are. It feels insecure to a landlord to hand over this huge financial asset to strangers to live in, hoping they won't trash the place. She may be fussy now because choosing a tenant is nervewracking and scary. 

[Bluegoat]

I would go for option 2.  I personally don't necessarily mind a seedy neighbourhood if it was a walkable place with amenities, but I would not want to deal with the carpet, and it sounds like your landlord isn't interested in that type of improvement.

 

Also, for me the feel of the place is really important - it would make a big difference to how I felt about things like having a friend drop by for coffee, taking the initiative on a project myself, and just my mood.  The house my dh owned when we married was just so ugly and impossible to improve without a major overhaul - I don't think he's ever understood how that affected me.

 

750 sq ft is small, but it sounds like the space could be pretty flexible.  I might think about using the garage more as a space for adults to get out of the house, or even for something like a separate eating area, and use the back-yard liberally for real living space to if your climate is ok for that.  In little spaces, I don't think you can let conventional room assignment dictate how you use the space.

 

 

[MrsRobinson]

We were 5 people in 800 square ft 2 bedroom house and now we are in a 1800 sq ft and I really miss our old house. It was fun to come up with creative storage solutions and maximize the space. (Hello, Pinterest!) I was more vigilant about cleaning and tidying because we could quickly be overrun with messes. It took me an hour to clean the house and now I have to do this house in chunks every day. I feel like I'm always cleaning.

 

I voted look for something else but after reading all the comments and reminiscing about our old small house, I'd go for it! Sounds like it will be better for your family's health and a safer neighborhood for your kids. I hope you get it!

[BigMamaBird]

Are you handy?  Could you ask the landlord to purchase laminate wood flooring with the agreement that you'd install it.  Sort of a sweat equity deal?

[pinkmint]

We didn't get the house.  :sad:

 

The landlady says she chose another applicant because the house is too small for our family. Obviously it is small but we were willing to make it work and I was even getting excited about moving into a place that's appearance doesn't depress me, not to mention a carpet free environment for the affected in our home. 

 

This kind of thing makes it hard for me to resist anger. Our family can't afford to live somewhere that is supposedly big and/ or nice enough according to property managers. It's like, yeah you can afford this and your family is willing and eager to do it but we've decided your standard of living isn't high enough so you get to stay in your current dumpy place. It's like you're not allowed to be poor. 

[TammyS]

We didn't get the house.  :sad:

 

The landlady says she chose another applicant because the house is too small for our family. Obviously it is small but we were willing to make it work and I was even getting excited about moving into a place that's appearance doesn't depress me, not to mention a carpet free environment for the affected in our home. 

 

This kind of thing makes it hard for me to resist anger. Our family can't afford to live somewhere that is supposedly big and/ or nice enough according to property managers. It's like, yeah you can afford this and your family is willing and eager to do it but we've decided your standard of living isn't high enough so you get to stay in your current dumpy place. It's like you're not allowed to be poor. 

 

I'm so sorry this happened.  It's not only disappointing, it's insulting.  It would be better if she had just said she found a better qualified candidate; she didn't need to specify.

 

I've been where you and I know how much it hurts and how it's insulting and humiliating, so :grouphug: . 

 

It's totally normal to be upset, but try to see through it to dodging a bullet with a landlord you weren't sure of to begin with. 

[MercyA]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[pinkmint]

Thank you, ladies. 

 

Good points. We're not a large family but in this day and age of small families being the norm, and I guess compared to our means, we have way more kids than is "acceptable" considering what we're able to provide for them. It's good to know I'm not alone in this experience. It does feel humiliating.

 

I know there are some families out there who are privileged to be a one income family and yet still have what is considered an appropriate standard of living but it's also good to know we're not the only ones for whom that's not the case. I never knew this was the life I was going to be living, and DH and I both came into this totally unprepared, but what do you do when God changes your heart even though you don't have the right means and preparation to do it? That's where we're at. It's a sacrifice. I always hope it's for the best. 

Edited June 17, 2016 by pinkmint

[eternalsummer]

We didn't get the house.  :sad:

 

The landlady says she chose another applicant because the house is too small for our family. Obviously it is small but we were willing to make it work and I was even getting excited about moving into a place that's appearance doesn't depress me, not to mention a carpet free environment for the affected in our home. 

 

This kind of thing makes it hard for me to resist anger. Our family can't afford to live somewhere that is supposedly big and/ or nice enough according to property managers. It's like, yeah you can afford this and your family is willing and eager to do it but we've decided your standard of living isn't high enough so you get to stay in your current dumpy place. It's like you're not allowed to be poor. 

 

Possibly she is also thinking of the future - she might see how you can make it work with your kids at these ages, but if she has an applicant she thinks might stay for 3-5 years, maybe it makes more sense for her to expect that applicant to stay for 3-5 years while she can't see your kids (who would be what, 12, 10, and 7?) staying in that house for that long (nor, to be honest, did you expect to stay there long-term).

 

We also have a lot of kids and we rent, and it has never been super easy to convince landlords we'll fit in and take care of the property.  I can see how they have concerns - kids are hard on a house! = so we generally offer to pay more security deposit and look for places that are larger but older, if necessary.  We also probably end up paying more for a less great place, just because we are no one's first choice. Part of the cost of having kids.

 

That makes sense to me from a landlord's perspective, but of course it kind of sucks from our perspective.

 

Can you get housing assistance?  Or maybe food stamps, and put some of the food budget $ toward a savings account for a higher security deposit or higher rent (eventually)?  

 

If this kind of situation comes up again and you do have a chance to get the house, I would 100% go for a smaller place with better prospects otherwise (neighborhood, yard, flooring, location/commute).

[Rachel]

Thank you, ladies.

 

Good points. We're not a large family but in this day and age of small families being the norm, and I guess compared to our means, we have way more kids than is "acceptable" considering what we're able to provide for them. It's good to know I'm not alone in this experience. It does feel humiliating.

 

I know there are some families out there who are privileged to be a one income family and yet still have what is considered an appropriate standard of living but it's also good to know we're not the only ones for whom that's not the case. I never knew this was the life I was going to be living, and DH and I both came into this totally unprepared, but what do you do when God changes your heart even though you don't have the right means and preparation to do it? That's where we're at. It's a sacrifice. I always hope it's for the best.

I'm sorry you didn't get the house. Since you are a believer, have you considered praying about a new housing situation? Sometimes I forget to pray about stuff like this and try to solve it myself.

[Carol in Cal.]

It doesn't mean what you think it means, I'm guessing.

 

It just means that the landlord has applicants that have fewer people in the family, so less wear and tear on the house is expected.

There are guidelines for this in the law, so if you're under a certain number of people (two per bedroom plus one is typical but it does vary from state to state) they can't choose based on say, 5 vs. 6, but above that number (whatever the state limit is) they can.

 

A home is a big asset to entrust to strangers, and landlords try their best to improve the odds of having the house remain undamaged and un'worn'.  Number of people is a really typical thing to worry about.

 

I'm really sorry that you didn't get the house.  It sounds like a better fit for you.  I'm just posting this so you don't feel as insulted.