s/o Am I too old... When do you think kids are the MOST WORK?

[Ivey]

Ds11, who has autism, was the most work at age 2-3. With the others, I found the first year the hardest, by far. 

[mathnerd]

The baby years were difficult physically. But, my child was very easy going in temperament, while very high needs because of colic, sleep problems and allergies. Now, at 8, I find dealing with his intensity very emotionally exhausting and he is starting to be oppositional and testing boundaries which seem like more difficult than the physical exhaustion of the early years.

[Arcadia]

All ages. Going by extended family temperaments, none of us who were intense newborns ever "outgrow" that intensity.

 

There was only two babies including DS11 in the nursery when he was born. He was a handful from day one.

 

The nursery nurse ran out of patience on my DS10 and just happily let him stayed full time with me eventhough that was not the norm at that hospital.

 

A guy classmate said at his wedding dinner speech that his mom must be happy that he is finally married so that his wife can take over the job of taking care of him. The guy is actually very caring and respectful but insist on home cooked food so his mom cooked lunch every day for him and drive over with his dinner if class project run late into the night.

[Reefgazer]

OMG, babies and toddlers are a breeze compared to tweens; and I've got well-behaved tweens.  At tween age, there is *so very much* to think about, counsel, prepare for, assist with, and manage that I am exhausted.  Babies eat, sleep and poop - that's not difficult.  When my kids were toddlers, my biggest worry was getting them home from the playground in time to prepare dinner.  But now...ay-yi-yi!  I imagine in a few years when DD begins driving and is a full-blown teen and managing her affairs more capably, she'll be mostly independent and things will ease up a bit, but I don't know because I'm not there yet. 

Edited February 17, 2016 by reefgazer

[ktgrok]

I want to add that although I said 0-12 months I really think 12-24 months is the hardest, I adore the baby phase. The lack of sleep and sore nipples are hard, but it's still may favorite time .They are just so sweet, and you can take care of them without even thinking about it. 1-2 is harder for me, because they are mobile and clingy all at the same time, which drives me a bit batty. Then I love them again around age 2 when they can understand what I'm saying to some degree. But 0-2 is when I can't take them anywhere without losing my mind just a bit. Up down up down...blergh. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Probably the first year.  Operating on no sleep with a colicky baby was pretty much hell.

 

 

[Isabella]

I barely made it through the puberty years with my sanity.  Honestly, I swear if I had another child I'd have had a nervous breakdown in the teen years.  I voted 11-13, but it was different for each child, my oldest was 10-13, middle was 13-16, and youngest was 14-17.  Each was about 3 years that they could barely say a civil word to the family.  Awful.  Looking back, there are things I could have done to make it a little better, but some issues were out of my control, and due to difficulties with another family member. :-/

[Nan in Mass]

I would have picked 13 - 17, if I could have, as the most work. 20+ is the most heartwrenching by far. And not an insignificant amount of work. In their twenties, you take on their partners. The stakes are really high. They have things like chickens and houses and children. I am dead positive that my parents would tell you that my 20's were when I was the most work. During that time, they babysat me (and my husband) through one bout of depression and two bedridden pregnancies, helped us get a jobs and an apartment, maintained our cars, taught us to parent, cruise up and down the coast on our own, took us across the country in an RV teaching us how to do it, taught us to cook and fix most things and run common power tools. We were a TON of work. And to top it all off, my father had to drop everything and come rescue us upon numerous occasions. They gave us a large homemade wedding. (Mum made my dress, cake, and did the flowers and coordinated all the offers to provide reception food.) (But at least I didn,t have it on an island with no electricity like my sister. Talk about a lot of work. We were both still in our twenties when that happened.) Both my husband and my sister,s learned to drive in my Dad,s car and he had to deal with that. I needed a bunch of help when I was in college and I wasn,t nearly as "exciting" as my youngest sister. I am sure my parents would tell you that our twenties were the worst.

 

Nan

[Nan in Mass]

I barely made it through the puberty years with my sanity. Honestly, I swear if I had another child I'd have had a nervous breakdown in the teen years. I voted 11-13, but it was different for each child, my oldest was 10-13, middle was 13-16, and youngest was 14-17. Each was about 3 years that they could barely say a civil word to the family. Awful. Looking back, there are things I could have done to make it a little better, but some issues were out of my control, and due to difficulties with another family member. :-/

Yup. Puberty was hell. Heartbreaking hell.

[Mom2Five]

I have a 9, 8, 6, 2, and 1 year old. I voted the first year of life, although I would have chosen 0-2 if it was available or maybe 0-3, lol. It is exhausting for me to constantly be mentally "on". Every second you have to watch and be aware. If I daze out for literally 2 seconds, I will come to and realize the 1 year old is about to stick his fingers in the outlet or my 2 year old just ran off with some paint.

 

That said, I agreed to let me 9 and 8 year old stay with their grandparents for what turned out to be a week, due to car trouble and not being able to pick them up sooner. It was sooo quiet and peaceful! I was able to keep the house cleaner than I every had before, which was crazy to me. I always blamed the little ones. My 8 and 9 year old are constantly asking for things though, constantly whining, constantly fighting. I have the stress of doing school with them that takes a lot out of me. This has me concerned that its only going to get worse. lol

[Storygirl]

Sleep deprivation makes everything worse for me, so the earliest years were extremely hard. Plus, I had two infants, a 1.5 year old who was young for his age, and a three year old at one point in my life. The first few years were extremely hard on me.

 

With that said, some of the burden lifted once they were all potty trained and could feed and dress themselves (for some this wasn't until they were almost four, so that hard period lasted a long time). This did make a big difference, but by the time we got past those things, I felt like an older, more worn out person. I feel like my energy was sapped out of me when they were little, and I've never gotten it back. I think a big part of that is being a mom who is somewhat older -- I didn't have kids until I was in my thirties.

 

One of my children has been extremely easy to parent. One of them has required more vigilance and work on my part than all of the other three put together, no matter the age. A third has been the hardest to homeschool. The fourth is the sassiest and most dramatic.

 

So for me, the baby years were the most physically tiring. But parenting is just as hard at all ages. Other than sleep deprivation, I think it really depends on the personality of the child.

 

[FaithManor]

The toddler years were exhausting and infancy was difficult. I like them older. The older they get, the better our relationship gets and less work parenting them. I probably have easy going teens though, because my brother would say the absolute opposite.

 

My kids are 24 (almost 25), 19, 17, and 15 (nearly 16), and we are having a blast together. Dd has a six week old babe who came five weeks early and had a rough start. She is entirely exhausted so I have a feeling years down the road she is going to say older is less work.

Edited February 17, 2016 by FaithManor

[FO4UR]

11-13 is a 2nd toddlerhood, only now they are taller than me.

 

Baby -3yo is physically demanding, but I expect it out of babies. A 3yo testing her boundaries is a fairly easy fix (esp the 4th time around)...I mean, food/nap/play outside fixes everything.

 

Those preteen years are harder.

 

 

My oldest is only 13, so I reserve the right to modify my answer in 5 years.

[Serenade]

The current age of my kids is taking it out of me -- 13 and 16. Not because they are so  terrible, but because their needs are so great.  Homeschooling high schoolers is hard.  Trying to patiently deal with growing independence (not maturely expressed!) is hard.  Driving them around to their various activities is tiring.  My goodness, buying the groceries and preparing enough food is tiring!  A meal that we used to get leftovers for another meal or two is now gobbled down in one sitting.   

 

I miss the days of toddlerhood, when most of our days revolved around the home and no outside schedule.  

[Mom2Five]

I would echo this and add: I'm no great lover of babies. Of course I was loving towards my own babies, but I like kids so much more once they generally make sense. :D One of my kids....ho boy! It took us four years until this kid made some level of sense. I don't really do so well with that and tiny sweaters and a cute nursery don't really compensate adequately.

 

But yeah - big kid problems are a level of gut-wrenching (potentially) that make baby crying jags seem like a dreamy walk in the park. I can't say I would really enjoy fielding the teen issues while I also had a baby who would not be agreeable about going to sleep.

 

Ah, the one thing I forgot to add. I had my older three all within three years of each other. I had two that were 11 months apart and then one 12 months later. It was enjoyable and easy. This is even with two of them requiring two surgeries each with a 6 week recovery time and me recovering from csections. We played and my floor was covered in cheerios for 3 years.

It was a whole different ball game with older kids (they were 7,6, and 4) and then adding in two more in 18 months. Wow. How exhausting. Now I just didn't have babies, I had older kids with activities, who I was homeschooling. My ds 1 has just now started sleeping at 14 months old. He still doesn't nap, but he has actually started sleeping and only waking up around two times a night. It is crazy how much harder it is dealing with older ones and littles.

[ktgrok]

My teen is more frustrating, but he's not harder. He can feed himself, bathe himself, etc. And there is this deep down acknowledgement that his choices, to a great extent, are his own. He's much less a reflection on me than I felt he was when he was younger. There is a letting go that is very freeing, even when he makes the wrong choices. 

[KungFuPanda]

All ages. Going by extended family temperaments, none of us who were intense newborns ever "outgrow" that intensity.

 

My oldest was an extremely high need infant. However, past that she has been the calmest, most mature kid ever. She's 19 now and I'd happily raise that one all over again. We paid up front with her. She was over a year old before she ever slept through the night!

[ktgrok]

My oldest was an extremely high need infant. However, past that she has been the calmest, most mature kid ever. She's 19 now and I'd happily raise that one all over again. We paid up front with her. She was over a year old before she ever slept through the night!

 

hehehe...yeah. My oldest was 3 years old before he slept through the night. And even then, he really didn't. He'd get up and come get in my bed, but as I didn't have to get up with him I counted that. 

 

The other two were about 2 1/2 before they slept through the night. The current 3 year old is going through a phase right now where he wakes...he had an ear infection that started it and is just getting better. 

 

Of course, the worst right now is my husband, who has a cold also and his snoring is so loud it wakes me up. 

 

Oh, and then there is the teen talking to friends at all hours who I have to go tell to go to bed at 2am. Or the sleep walking 6 year old. 

 

I was worried about having another baby because of the sleep deprivation, than realized I already don't sleep. How much worse can it really get?

[Garga]

I would have picked 13 - 17, if I could have, as the most work. 20+ is the most heartwrenching by far. And not an insignificant amount of work. In their twenties, you take on their partners. The stakes are really high. They have things like chickens and houses and children. I am dead positive that my parents would tell you that my 20's were when I was the most work. During that time, they babysat me (and my husband) through one bout of depression and two bedridden pregnancies, helped us get a jobs and an apartment, maintained our cars, taught us to parent, cruise up and down the coast on our own, took us across the country in an RV teaching us how to do it, taught us to cook and fix most things and run common power tools. We were a TON of work. And to top it all off, my father had to drop everything and come rescue us upon numerous occasions. They gave us a large homemade wedding. (Mum made my dress, cake, and did the flowers and coordinated all the offers to provide reception food.) (But at least I didn,t have it on an island with no electricity like my sister. Talk about a lot of work. We were both still in our twenties when that happened.) Both my husband and my sister,s learned to drive in my Dad,s car and he had to deal with that. I needed a bunch of help when I was in college and I wasn,t nearly as "exciting" as my youngest sister. I am sure my parents would tell you that our twenties were the worst.

 

Nan

 

 

Aw.  What great parents you had!  I got married at 19 and my parents figured I was done with being raised.  By the time I was 21 they moved 2000 miles way and sometimes remembered to call on the holidays.  They're not mean people.  They just figured they were done.  I am somewhat jealous that you had parents who actually helped you!

 

My in-laws never helped much either without asking, but if we'd have asked, they'd have been there.  My fil helped my husband with some repairs around the house or with the car. 

 

I learned how to cook on my own 13 years ago when my son was born and I quit my job and we couldn't afford to go out to eat.  We found the apartment/house entirely on our own.  DH had already learned car repair because he had an old classic car as a teen and it needed constant work.  I didn't want my mil helping me when the baby was born and when I asked my mom for help the first 2 weeks home from the hospital she said, "I can't imagine what I could possibly do to help." 

 

My hope is that my kids aren't entirely dependent on me in their twenties, but that they're comfortable asking for help from time to time and not threatened if we offer help.  That would be the best of all worlds for me. 

 

 

 

As far as the OP's question: my oldest is only 13, so I can't really answer it, but so far I'm far happier with the boys now than I was when they were under 7.  I feel emotions, as we all do, but I try not to let them rule my behavior.  But kids!  Wow!  Little kids are just big balls of unregulated emotion.  By 8, they can start to control the emotions a bit.  Maybe they'll spiral out of control again soon, dunno.

 

Also, I get bored pretty easily.  Conversations with someone under 7 are very boring to me.  At about 7, things start to pick up and I feel we can actually talk to each other.

 

So from ages 0-13, the hardest for me were everything under 7.  I can talk to and reason with my kids now.

Edited February 17, 2016 by Garga

[AmandaVT]

My kid is going to be 8 soon, so I haven't hit all the ages yet, but the newborn/infant stage was by far the hardest for me. By about 6 months old, I loved having a baby around and aside from a few months at 3, I've enjoyed each stage (for the most part). Before 6 months, sleep was erratic, schedules were all over the place, I felt overwhelmed, DS wasn't able to really communicate except through crying and half the time I couldn't figure out what he wanted. By 6 months, he was a great sleeper and was starting to interact more.

[Janie Grace]

Look at that ages 5-10 sweet spot on the poll! Pretty stark. 

[Nan in Mass]

...

I didn't want my mil helping me when the baby was born and when I asked my mom for help the first 2 weeks home from the hospital she said, "I can't imagine what I could possibly do to help."

...

Oh my! She must not have a very good memory...

 

I don't think my parents expected to be quite so involved as they wound up being, but my twenties started with a bout of depression when I tried to go to college far from my boyfriend in an area of the country where the culture was rather different before I was quite ready to leave home, and my boyfriend-now-husband's family was a mess, so they wound up being pretty heavily involved with the two of us. Shortly after I stopped being fragile from that, I needed somebody to take care of me while I was pregnant. Then I got pregnant again. And again. By which time, my father and husband were helping each other with all their projects, that being easier, and my parents were heavily involved with our children, seeing them so frequently that it was very low stress, just fun. Dad was a born teacher and delighted to have first my husband to teach shop to and then his grandchildren, and my boys were very shop-y kids, so it worked out. When our children hit their teens, my parents, who had us rather late, were getting older and were really glad to have a grandson around to help. And since we were homeschooling, the kids were available. We extended their sailing by about 15 years by giving them a kid to crew and vacationing together. The opportunity to pay them back for all the help they gave us is here now. : )

 

The trick to making it work, I think, is being super polite and respectful, having faith in each other, and not moving far away.

 

My sons are in their twenties now. They aren,t quite as fragile as I was, but we have continued to function as a family because it is nice that way. We "let go" with the older two awhile ago and are in the process of letting go with the youngest, as far as being outspoken about their choices and such. They help their grandparents. And us. I spent two days ago holding the flashlight while my oldest, instead of going icefishing on his holiday as planned, fixed my parent,s furnace and took a heat gun to the frozen pipes. Mum said he probably did close to a thousand dollars of work. The help doesn't all flow one way.

 

Nan

[Garga]

Oh my! She must not have a very good memory...

 

I don't think my parents expected to be quite so involved as they wound up being, but my twenties started with a bout of depression when I tried to go to college far from my boyfriend in an area of the country where the culture was rather different before I was quite ready to leave home, and my boyfriend-now-husband's family was a mess, so they wound up being pretty heavily involved with the two of us. Shortly after I stopped being fragile from that, I needed somebody to take care of me while I was pregnant. Then I got pregnant again. And again. By which time, my father and husband were helping each other with all their projects, that being easier, and my parents were heavily involved with our children, seeing them so frequently that it was very low stress, just fun. Dad was a born teacher and delighted to have first my husband to teach shop to and then his grandchildren, and my boys were very shop-y kids, so it worked out. When our children hit their teens, my parents, who had us rather late, were getting older and were really glad to have a grandson around to help. And since we were homeschooling, the kids were available. We extended their sailing by about 15 years by giving them a kid to crew and vacationing together. The opportunity to pay them back for all the help they gave us is here now. : )

 

The trick to making it work, I think, is being super polite and respectful, having faith in each other, and not moving far away.

 

My sons are in their twenties now. They aren,t quite as fragile as I was, but we have continued to function as a family because it is nice that way. We "let go" with the older two awhile ago and are in the process of letting go with the youngest, as far as being outspoken about their choices and such. They help their grandparents. And us. I spent two days ago holding the flashlight while my oldest, instead of going icefishing on his holiday as planned, fixed my parent,s furnace and took a heat gun to the frozen pipes. Mum said he probably did close to a thousand dollars of work. The help doesn't all flow one way.

 

Nan

I love your family! I really hope my kids turn out the way yours have. :).

[Guest]

Also, I get bored pretty easily. Conversations with someone under 7 are very boring to me. At about 7, things start to pick up and I feel we can actually talk to each other.

 

So from ages 0-13, the hardest for me were everything under 7. I can talk to and reason with my kids now.

I still remember so vividly when my oldest was nine. We spent the whole year reading all The Chronicles of Narnia together each night. It was SO delightful to me! To be able to read real, meaningful, excellant literature together, and to have that sharing together about the stories. It was marvelous! I had always read with my kids daily, since practically birth, but once we could really share a series of books on an intelligent level, it was a huge pay-off over all the bazillions of nights reading Hop on Pop.

 

P.S. I am equally enjoying reading through all the Percy Jackson books with DS11 this year.

[amy g.]

I'm savoring having a 9 year old this year. It is such a rewarding age.

[rebcoola]

I voted 0-12 months I am not sure its really the most exhausting but it the least enjoyable for me.... I find babies boring especially for the few months its just work without any reward.  Toddlers are hard but fun and so loving.  Elementary age is an absolute breeze.  We haven't hit the teen years with our own yet but I love having exchange students and foster kids that age so am hopeful it won't be terrible with our bio's.

[PrincessMommy]

I would have preferred to have multiple choices... because the college years through adulthood have been the hardest.  I think it's because the stakes are higher and the potential mistakes can carry on life-long - such as if your child marries someone who you don't like, don't get along with.  If that person doesn't really get along with your other children how will that affect the familiy going forward?  That kind of thing.  It's not just going to go away like sleepless nights or potty training. 

 

My daughter dated an emotionally abusive man for about 2yrs.  No one in the family liked him, including the extended family who had met him.  But, she was very defensive about it the whole time.  She kept assuming it was because he wasn't a Christian that we didn't like him... but we said, no it's not that...something's not right.  But, all we got was "talk to the hand."  She refused to believe us and we tried to avoid the topic to keep the relationship open,  until it came tumbling down.  We're SO glad he's out of the picture, but we still have to deal with the fall-out.  It has hardened her in ways that breaks my heart to see.   At the time they were dating we also had to face the "what if she marries him?" scenario.  It's heart wrenching. 

Edited February 18, 2016 by PrincessMommy

[MysteryJen]

Debbi, I liked your post because I am feeling the stress of young adults, not about your dd. Thank goodness she was able to get away. The sleepless nights with a baby or sick toddler were nowhere as exhausting and stressful as the sleepless nights of worry over the choices your kids are making.

5 years ago I would have said that 12-24 months was the hardest. But nothing is as hard as watching, praying, waiting for the phone calls, and just hoping that we will all make it to the real side of adulthood.

[Excelsior! Academy]

Each stage brings its own challenges and joys.

 

 *I* don't do well on sleep deprivation, so the under 2 set is hard!  As they age and mature things do get better because mom and dad get more sleep, then hormones spike and puberty hits and aliens take over our sweet children's bodies.  At the same time we, as a society, assume that is a great time to up the school work and hand the alien children keys to large 4 wheeled machinery.  New challenges arise when they become young adults and prepare to launch.  

 

 

[Excelsior! Academy]

Debbi, I liked your post because I am feeling the stress of young adults, not about your dd. Thank goodness she was able to get away. The sleepless nights with a baby or sick toddler were nowhere as exhausting and stressful as the sleepless nights of worry over the choices your kids are making.

5 years ago I would have said that 12-24 months was the hardest. But nothing is as hard as watching, praying, waiting for the phone calls, and just hoping that we will all make it to the real side of adulthood.

 

I agree!  My eldest is 19 and thankfully we haven't had too much of that yet, but I remember how I was as a teen.  It is a wonder my poor mother survived me!!

[PrincessMommy]

I agree!  My eldest is 19 and thankfully we haven't had too much of that yet, but I remember how I was as a teen.  It is a wonder my poor mother survived me!!

 

I get it.  This is the same daughter who thinks that Tinder was a fun way to meet guys.    Oh my! Talk about terrifying.    I keep thinking to myself, "I didn't raise her to be like this??!! What happened?"  :crying: :confused1: 

 

I have never really questioned my parenting choices, and wondered how I could have done things differently/better, until my kids became adults.

[TranquilMind]

I found the under 5 time completely draining physically and emotionally.

 

However, the teen years can be great and peaceful but when something happens your head has to be completely in the game, you have far, far less control, the stakes are bigger and it can be tough on a whole different level .

Right.  The early years are physically exhausting. The preteen-teen years are mentally exhausting. 

[MistyMountain]

It is physically harder the baby and toddler years especially if you have a baby that does not sleep. Dealing with deprivation sucks. I think it is much easier mentally to deal with babies and toddlers and life is much simpler though. You do have to pack more and change diapers and figure out ways to nurse while out and about. I really enjoy babies though. They change so much that first year and have their own personality from day 1. The 12-24 month period was the harder for me then babies or 2-3 year olds. I find as the kids get older it is harder mentally. I do not have teens yet but I imagine that trend will only continue as they develop more and more independence and find their own way but do not have the maturity of an adult yet.

Edited February 18, 2016 by MistyMountain

[TranquilMind]

I get it.  This is the same daughter who thinks that Tinder was a fun way to meet guys.    Oh my! Talk about terrifying.    I keep thinking to myself, "I didn't raise her to be like this??!! What happened?"  :crying: :confused1:

 

I have never really questioned my parenting choices, and wondered how I could have done things differently/better, until my kids became adults.

Oh, yeah.  I can totally relate. 

There have been some things that come out of my kids' mouths - especially the oldest - that make me think, "Who ARE you?  What have you done with my kid?"  ;)

[TranquilMind]

I would have preferred to have multiple choices... because the college years through adulthood have been the hardest.  I think it's because the stakes are higher and the potential mistakes can carry on life-long - such as if your child marries someone who you don't like, don't get along with.  If that person doesn't really get along with your other children how will that affect the familiy going forward?  That kind of thing.  It's not just going to go away like sleepless nights or potty training. 

 

My daughter dated an emotionally abusive man for about 2yrs.  No one in the family liked him, including the extended family who had met him.  But, she was very defensive about it the whole time.  She kept assuming it was because he wasn't a Christian that we didn't like him... but we said, no it's not that...something's not right.  But, all we got was "talk to the hand."  She refused to believe us and we tried to avoid the topic to keep the relationship open,  until it came tumbling down.  We're SO glad he's out of the picture, but we still have to deal with the fall-out.  It has hardened her in ways that breaks my heart to see.   At the time they were dating we also had to face the "what if she marries him?" scenario.  It's heart wrenching. 

Awww.

Haven't been there yet, not with impending marriage, but there have been some questionable choices. 

 

I have always told them when they were little that their family was a layer of protection for them.  If the family agreed something wasn't right, then it wasn't right, because we all had their best interests at heart and didn't want to just ruin all their fun.

 

Not 100% positive it has sunken in, but there are glimmers of hope.   Sometimes I am very optimistic, when I hear something I always said pop out of their mouths, often not even attributed to me, of course.  They will say that X said this great thing and that it really made them think (something I always said!).  It's like they can't hear the frequency of a parental voice or something.  ;)

[Shellydon]

birth to age 2, hands down.  Utterly, and completely wore me out, all 4 of them.  You couldn't pay me to have another baby. 

We are currently in the teen years with some of mine.  I find the preteen and teen years the easiest so far.  The early childhood years are not as exhausting as baby years, but it requires so much consistency and being on top of things that it is harder than the teen years for me.

Edited February 18, 2016 by Shellydon

[Excelsior! Academy]

I don't have teens yet but am absolutely anticipating that being the most challenging period of parenting. This is when things get really high-stakes and hormones are raging. Doesn't sound like a good combination to me. I've had stressful times parenting so far, but they weren't related to the kids, just to being generally really busy with work and having trouble finding enough time. Frankly, I am a little scared of the teen years. 

 

Keep the communication open and remind them frequently that choices made today can limit future choices.  You don't want to make them anxious to make decisions, but you do want them to know they can have long-term consequences. 

 

I love having teens!  They can be a lot more fun than toddlers.  Maybe not quite as snuggly, but fun nonetheless.

[Shellydon]

I don't have teens yet but am absolutely anticipating that being the most challenging period of parenting. This is when things get really high-stakes and hormones are raging. Doesn't sound like a good combination to me. I've had stressful times parenting so far, but they weren't related to the kids, just to being generally really busy with work and having trouble finding enough time. Frankly, I am a little scared of the teen years. 

 

So far, I've found the teens years to be the easiest, so don't worry unnecessarily.

[luuknam]

I voted 2-4, but my oldest is only 8.5, so...

 

 

2-4 exhausting, but you sometimes get a break, and you can talk with the kids (as opposed to them) and do things together.

 

My oldest had a massive speech delay due to high-functioning autism, so there wasn't any talking *with* him at 2-3yo, and even at 4-5yo there was a ton of frustration trying to talk with him as his pronunciation was terrible. My youngest was better, but the daycare owner of the daycare he went to 1-2 days a week said he invented the "terrible fours" (he was actually a pretty nice 2-3yo, but I'm not a fan of the 2-4yo age regardless). Oh well. Gotta run.

[FriedClams]

I remember scrapbooking when my kids were little. Now I just don't have (or make) time. Activities, driving, being older and tired, aging parents, more academics, etc... Mine are young teens but I'd say the younger years were not easy, but at least they were very predictable.

[frogger]

Sometimes I think now is (2 teens and two older elementary) just because I am juggling so much and too busy Then I babysit someone's baby or toddler.

 

I think forgetting is part of motherhood. I forget labor and childbirth, I forget babyhood, I forget toddler years, I forget where I put my car keys. I remember the good stuff. The stories, the cuddles, the antics. I'd best quit before I want more.

 

Ok, maybe that is just me.

[wendy not in HI]

As I've read through the thread, I keep thinking "yeah, that was the hardest part." for all the parts... 

 

I am starting to think that for me, the hardest part is the transitions.  I get good at something (baby years)(big kid years) and then something changes.  And that change throws me off and every thing seems so much harder.  I remember when my oldest was in middle school and early high school, she was suddenly involved in soooooo many things.  sports. music. church. early morning church stuff. way more homework. All of that was just too much for me.  Driving her to things just about killed me off.  We also had big kids and a toddler and it was so hard to balance. That poor little toddler went to sooooo many recitals and band concerts....

 

And then I got good at the driving, and the toddler grew up and now I am driving to more events than ever, and there is more homework than ever, and it doesn't seem like the hardest thing anymore.  I'm passed the transition and I figured it out... Just like I figured out that I could survive with limited sleep and sore boobies from nursing all night, and that I could survive homeschooling a big kid and a K and a preschooler, and more.  

 

It's those transitions that just kill me.  The year or so that it takes for me to "figure it out" is mentally exhausting, which is also physically exhausting for me. Then I get it, and I'm good.  And then it changes and I have to figure it out again.

 

We are in the college/engaged and college application/interview stage for our older two kids and it is HARD!  I'm not sure if my 17 year old will get through this next month, waiting to hear if she was accepted to her top schools, and I don't know how she will do in college, and I worry!  But her big sister made the leap and has done well.  But now she is engaged and I don't know quite how she and her soon to be dh will survive college and marriage and life....  Luckily, kid #3 is pretty easy going and kid #4 is doing well right now...  

 

so I think in about a year I will sort of know what I'm doing and something will change again...

[G5052]

For me, 0-5. Motherhood came later for me than most, and it was tough bouncing back from pregnancy and the baby years. One of mine was a tough toddler that had to be constantly supervised.

 

We've had some bumps since, but it's gone easier. One is in college and one in late high school, and we're actually enjoying this phase as they figure out early adulthood. Thankfully mine are wise and thoughtful about their choices so far.

Edited February 19, 2016 by G5052

[OnMyOwn]

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Edited February 21, 2016 by OnMyOwn

[Pronghorn]

As an adoptive parent, I missed almost the entire first year. After that I would say things started out nearly impossible and became progressively easier each year as trust developed and pre-adoptive traumas faded. Now I am enjoying the teen years immensely. There are occasional bouts of tears but no rage, which is wonderful!