Poll: Are you done having children?

[Mamagistra]

We're done. Unless we're not. :D The clock, she is a-tickin'...

[SABE]

I voted Not Sure. I'm currently pregnant with child #4. This is the last child that dh and I have planned for, but neither of us is willing at this point to consider permanent birth control.

[Melora in NC]

I don't expect to have more biological children, but we are hoping to eventually adopt one (or two) more!

[Tap]

I always said I would have 3 kids, then I met dh who is a middle child of 3 boys. He was adamant from the very beginning of us dating that he would never have a middle child, he just couldn't 'do' that to a kid. Whether that meant 1, 2 or 4 we never discussed, but there must not be a middle child.

 

We had ds14, we lost a dd mid pregnancy, then dd9 came along. Then dh got snipped. We were very, very confident that we were only going to have 2 children, very. very. confident! I figured I had my 3 babies I always planned so I was content with the two living ones.

 

Then I had ablation. So not only could dh not father any children, I couldn't carry a pregnancy even if a miracle happened. We were very. very. confident. After all Neither of us could have a child now.

 

I even said out loud. God would have to perform two miracles for us to have a baby....tee, hee, hee silly human tempted God's humorous bone.

 

 

God thumped me on the head and said, silly woman, if I want you to have another child.....

 

along came dfd22mths. We were unexpectedly blessed by my niece who lost custody of her dd at birth. We couldn't let her go into the foster system, so we got a foster licence and went after custody of her from her home state. it took 5 mths, but we have had her ever since and could be adopting as soon as Christmas. So, I got my 3 kiddos, and with the 8 year age gap between the girls dh isn't worried about a middle child anymore.

 

I had to answer "other" because I don't dare tickle His funny bone again (the bio-mom is only 22 and has a lot of child bearing years left!).

 

There is a remote chance that we could also end up with a 6yo boy too. :lol:

[gardenschooler]

We're 'officially' done, but not everything has to be official, now does it?

 

I'm happy with my three girls, but I wouldn't mind three more. :D Doesn't seem to be happening, so I guess we're done. Unless we're not (that was too funny, Debra - sorry, had to steal it!)

 

Dh is 50 and has two grown kids from his first marriage (and a grandchild!), so he's more done than I am. My 19 yr. old niece just had a baby, so I guess that makes me a great aunt (I was going around saying I was a 'grand aunt' for awhile - couldn't remember what it was called :lol:). It feels like we're getting on up there, into the grandparent generation, you know?

 

If we were going to have more, it seems like it would make more sense to have gotten started by now. Either way it works out is fine with me, really - I'd love more, but I don't feel like I'm missing anyone. I've felt pretty much 'done' for years (or at least done for now, and when that turns into almost a decade, then, that's pretty much done for good).

 

So yeah, I guess we're done. Unless we're not.

 

Does that answer your question? :tongue_smilie:

[RenayofRohan]

We are finished, but I really look forward to being a grandma! ;) Of course, my oldest is only 14 years old, so that better not happen for a long time. :D

[katalaska]

but not by choice. :thumbdown:

 

First pregnancy was normal, 41 weeks, difficult delivery (large headed baby).

 

Second pregnancy ended in miscarriage at the end of the first trimester. :angelsad2:

 

Third pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 6 weeks. :angelsad2:

 

Fourth pregnancy normal but borderline diabetic, 40 weeks 2 days, fast and easy delivery (except baby was turned the wrong way requiring gymnastics prior to pushing).

 

Fifth pregnancy was normal but measured large for dates. Ended at 41 weeks 3 days with an induction due to absence of amniotic fluid. Baby on oxygen and in special care nursery for 5 1/2 hours. Mom had to have surgery the next day that turned life-threatening.

 

Doctors recommend no more pregnancies...and we had hoped and planned for at least one more baby. :sad:

[TammyinTN]

All done here and very much at peace with this decision. :001_smile:

[hsmamainva]

We're done!!

 

I'll be 46 this month, and my hubby is 50, and we're sending our oldest off to college next year. Our youngest will be a 2nd grader. No desire to start all over again!!!

[fivetails]

We won't be 'having' any more - actually, I won't be 'having' any at all...both dd11 and ds9 are my stepkids (born to dh and his ex) and dh was snipped not long after ds9 was born.....but we have plans to adopt sometime in the future. :)

[Pamela H in Texas]

it sure looks like it but I'm not happy about it. I do still have a good 10 years it's still possible so maybe....just not likely.

[JenParrish]

In my head, I am done. However, God's plan may be different from mine.

[Holly IN]

I voted No, not if I can help it. In our hearts and mind we are not done. We really want more. Physcially my tube is blocked and my other tube was taken with my last baby (ectopic). So physically we can't but in our hearts we want more.

 

Holly

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

We can barely afford to keep up with the one we have. Having another would mean my having to go back to work f/t. We would need a bigger house and more $ to pay for food, clothes, activities, etc. etc. etc. Since public school here just is not an option for meeting dd's needs, my working f/t and having another child is just not a good choice for our family right now.

 

If I won the lotto, I would have at least one more. ;)

[Frelle]

I voted no, not done just yet.

[Jennifer3141]

We're TTC right now. :)

 

Jen

[kalanamak]

There comes a point in life where you have to say...hmm, I'm too old! I'm 50; dh is 60. We're done.

 

That's us. I just squeaked under as the gates were lowering. Kiddo would love a sib, but (warming up Mic Jagger here) You Can't Always Get What You Want.

[sleepy]

I voted not sure.

 

I was sure we were done after 3 kids. Then along came our little surprise! I love her so much, I kinda feel guilty for ever thinking that I didn't want more, kwim?

 

So, at this point, I just don't know...

[Elm in NJ]

I am always high-risk when pregnant. I turn 40 in a few days, I would like another one but because of health reasons, I am pretty sure we are done.

[Quiver0f10]

Not sure. We are leaving it up to the Lord to decide.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Logically, yes we are finished. We travel and play a lot and that's tough with a baby. I'm 36 and had said I wanted to have all my children by 30 (haha). I don't want to be an old mom and I'll be pretty close with my 2yr old. Sweet, wonderful husband says he's happy and complete too.

 

However, I mourn it. I love being pregnant. I have great pregnancies and deliveries and I'm a good mommy. :) I can't believe that part of my life is over but I am 36 and it's time. Oh well. It's the right thing to do. I just mourn it a bit from time to time. :crying:

[Andie]

We're done. We were done after 2. My hubby had a vasectomy and a week later I found out I was pregnant with Joe!:lol:

 

 

I would adopt though.:001_smile: I would love a little girl.

 

 

I've got one I'd be willing to loan out occasionally. I'll even send a pack of earplugs for you. :) She loves the beach & would love to visit Aunt Laney, I just know it.

[Desert Rat]

We're done but I would have loved to have one more. Dh is very certain that 2 is enough and I respect his decision. Thus, it has become mine as well. A little sad though.

[rafiki]

nt

[CactusPair]

I voted not sure.

 

My dh and I have not been on the same page in this chapter for a few years now. My health has had a down turn, but the last 2 pregnancies were very good for my illness. I improved during them, and in spite of a few very small relapses, continued to improve after the pregnancies. Another pregnancy may be very good for me---or not.

 

I want another child and dh is now willing, but I don't know if I can physically take care of a little one. I've had a bad year, but I may have better years ahead--or not.

 

I tried desperately to foster to adopt a few years ago, but dh wouldn't even look at the paperwork to fill out. I was heartsick. He is now open to the idea, but I am not.

 

I always longed for 3 children, I am blessed with 2, who are my reason for living. They are wonderful little people. Yet the idea of the 3rd child is with me in my heart like a kind of ghost.

 

It is an issue of turmoil within me and our marriage.

 

I try to focus on the day at hand (which is quite sufficient!) and not worry or plan the future anymore or brood over regrets.

[Kalypso]

I voted not sure. I'll be having #6 in about 4 weeks, and we said we were done after #5. I am 40, so while I won't PLAN to have any more, God may have a different plan for us.

[Lisa in Jax]

Unfortunately, the chances of us getting pregnant are almost nil at this point. We haven't done anything to "avoid" pg since 1999. I got pg in 2002, but lost the baby at 13-14 weeks. Since then, no luck.

 

I'm 43 now, and dh and I have combined fertility issues, so it looks like we're done, but not by our choice!

 

Lisa

[The Governess]

We won't have any more biological children, but would be open to adoption in a few years

 

Same here. One difficult pregnancy was enough for me. And we have our hands full right now with dd4 and dd2 (adopted in April 2007). I could totally see stopping right here. But I could also see maybe adopting again once our girls are older. I have such a huge heart for adoption and would love to bring many more children into our home...I'm just not sure how well my chaos-avoiding personality would handle it. :lol:

[Murphy101]

we gladly accept what the good lord provides and accept that at some point he will stop providing as per his natural law

 

when he will decide to stop providing is unknown to us at this time

 

:)

[Pamela H in Texas]

Unfortunately, the chances of us getting pregnant are almost nil at this point.

 

This is us. We tried and tried and it never happened. We haven't done any prevention ever, last baby born in April 1995. One tube is blocked and I have some general health issues, but truly, it should have just taken us longer to get pregnant, not prevented it altogether.

 

Now I'm VERY young still. Some people my age are having their FIRST babies. So I have a LOT of time left. But we've given up. Sorta. Each month, I still kinda hope. And each month, I get that hope dashed. Each month, it's a little different. Sometimes it's still devastating.

[amyable]

Not sure here - #5 turns 1 in a few weeks. I turn 40 in a few months (dh a few months after that). Dh's big worry is that he doesn't want to be old with young kids still around, he doesn't think it's "fair" to them. So the plan is to avoid pg (using NFP).

 

Plus I've had horrible PPD and anxiety issues after every baby...and this last pregnancy brought out some crazy fast growing basal cell skin cancer --right on my nose :cursing:. Well, it was there before I got pg but for some reason it grew faster than it should. I'm still dealing with bad skin there and we are afraid that another pg would do the same thing, leaving me with a major facial defect... :tongue_smilie: (boy do I sound vain...)

 

But despite it all, and the fact that ITA with another poster who said she had lots of trouble with the infant/toddler years, I'm still begging God to take over and give us what He wants, even though we are physically trying to avoid getting pg. My mind is such a mess on this topic, I'm really hoping He'll take control, because I don't know *what* we should do. :001_huh:

 

ETA: I forgot all about adoption - we'd love to do this too, but for the same "dh feels we're old" reasons - a child will most likely have to be dropped right in our lap for us to do it. I'm adopted so I've always wanted to adopt too.

[Shelbelle7]

 

Curious...

I can't vote "yes" because I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant. I do, however, intend for this to be my last pregnancy. I'll be 43.5 when this little one comes and she will be our 8th dc. I'm going to be talking to my midwife/OB practice about having a tubal after the birth. I wanted one after our last dc was born, but I hemorhaged and put off the appointment to do it out-patient until it was too late (found out I was pg.) So, I guess I fall somewhere in the voting nether-world at the moment! :tongue_smilie:

[chickenpatty]

I replied other, but I'm about 98% sure we're done.

[tricia]

Okay, I admit it, I would love more and will take them as long as the Lord will send them. Here are my children's ages...

 

26, 24, 21, 19, 18, 15, 13, 10, 10, 8, 6, 2

 

Tricia

 

http://www.mommyx12.blogspot.com

[SapphireStitch]

I voted "not sure" even though I doubt very much that we'll be having any more. We went through 10-plus years of secondary infertility and loss between our two kids, and never used birth control during that time. Nor have we used any in the 7 years since DS was born.

 

I'll be 46 years old in a couple of weeks, and my body is telling me that perimenopause is either here or right around the corner. I know I still ovulate many months, though, so it wouldn't be impossible to get pregnant.

 

When I was in my thirties I would hear women older than me talk about not craving babies any more and being ready to be grandmas instead. These were women who loved babies and enjoyed the children they had...and I wondered how they could become so "hardened" and no longer desire more babies.

 

Now I'm pretty sure I know what they were feeling, because I am experiencing it myself. Maybe it's the way God designed our bodies and the way the hormones decrease with time? Maybe it's my lack of energy influencing my mind? But as much as I LOVE LOVE LOVE little babies, I don't really think in terms of having another myself. I picture myself as a grandma, and joyfully look forward to those years. If my period were late this month my first thought would not be "Oh, maybe I'm pregnant!" it would be "Hurray, maybe this is menopause!" :)

[ahousefullofjs]

Maybe???? I'm happy with the kids we have. Dh wants more. We don't use any birth control. So, maybe so, maybe not. We'll leave it up to God.

 

That's exactly like us, and ummmmm, here we go again :D.

[LisaKinVA]

I'm unexpectedly pregnant with my 5th child. It's not that we weren't planning for more, just not right now. I did so want to be in our own home, and finish the reconstruction of my jaw & mouth before going through this yet again.

 

But, I'm pregnant... and will be 40 yo when the baby is born.

 

And, I feel that we may try once more in a couple of years, but after that I think we're done.

 

The "natural course" of things, for me, is frought with physical danger. Only because my natural course includes being able to get pregnant when a baby is 6 weeks old -- and a mother who didn't go through menapause until nearly 55.

 

Of course, dh and I joke that we may "try" to be "done" -- but, based upon our history, we may very wind up being that one in 40,000 that has more anyway. If that's what happens... that's what happens.

[Kim in Appalachia]

At this point I do not want any more children. My dh is feeling OK with that too. But we have not done anything permanent to make sure that doesn't happen, kwim? We could have a suprise at some point. I know they can happen. :)

[Kim in Appalachia]

:lol::lol:

[Tree House Academy]

Yes. Done. Done.

[DeeFL]

But we have begun the paperchase for our next adoption:001_smile:

 

Our Letter of Intent to adopt an 8 year old boy from China has been sent to China, so I am what's known in the adoption world as "paper pregnant."

[jail warden]

Well, I feel mostly done. My dh would like one more, we always said 4. For me, I work part-time and want to be able quit before having another child, and with dh's work it doesn't look like too soon. So if we become more financially stable in the next couple of years, I would love a few more children, but for now no. I'm still fairly young and so I have time to think it over and if we're done now I have time to pursue a career after my children are grown.

[Rosie_0801]

I answered "other," because I've got one half cooked :) Finances say we have to stop at two, neither of us are willing to do pregnancy again, but superstition says I'm having 3 more! Superstition says Dh is only having the two we have now, so I'd like to know where those other 3 are coming from, since it won't be out of my body! No more pregnancies! Yay to you guys with big families, but I'm wimpy about pregnancy. So, where do I get 3 kids, without having to produce them myself?

:)

Rosie

[ElisabethGrace]

Yesterday I would have answered not sure. We do nothing to prevent conception, but are very happy with our family size.

This afternoon I discovered we are expecting again!:hurray: This will make us a family of 8, unless it is multiples.:D

[Aubrey]

Yesterday I would have answered not sure. We do nothing to prevent conception, but are very happy with our family size.

This afternoon I discovered we are expecting again!:hurray: This will make us a family of 8, unless it is multiples.:D

 

Congratulations!

[BamaTanya]

It was great fun having 5 healthy pregnancies/babies, but the reality of having two dc with ASD and one dc with severe scoliosis has led to financial and other difficulties. Our quiver is full, I guess we'd say. We're not planning more. We're trying to nurture these and provide all they need.

 

OTOH, we often have found that our plans get changed and God helps us through the unexpected . . .

[Lovedtodeath]

OOPS! I meant that to be an answer to Are you having more children? :lol: Between Ulcerative Colits, Preterm Labor, Post Partum Depression and severe colic/ food allergies I am pretty sure that our family would not survive another pregnancy or baby. :(:sad:

[KatieJ]

18 years ago when our youngest was born, my DH thought a larger family would be wonderful. I told him I had given birth to 2 girls and 2 boys. I had 2 c-sections, and 2 vbacs. I had done it all twice and I would happily raise any children he gave birth to, but otherwise I was done.

[Ali in OR]

Wow. Isn't it hard to hit that "yes" button? Like many of you, I would love to have another little one. But I look at my family and know that it is complete. I'm 42, I have one severely disabled child already, and I never did get pregnant very easily anyway. I think this is it. But I like being able to say "I think we're done" instead of "we're done". I like to dream about one more even if realistically I don't think there's much chance of it happening.

[cathmom]

I would like to say no, but most likely it's yes, unless we inherit a lot of money.