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SapphireStitch

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  1. I mostly lurk on the boards here since I stopped homeschooling a couple of years ago. But your question caught my eye because just today we moved my parents to a retirement home! They are both 87yo and still in quite good health, so similar situation to your parents. They have been living next door to me for 20 years; they moved here when they retired with the plan being that I would take care of them in their old age. Well, a lot of things have changed in 20 years, the biggest being that I have developed health issues that leave me too disabled to physically care for them. I've been able to help them a lot mentally when they've needed to bounce ideas around, and my husband and son have done a lot of lawn care and home maintenance for them in the last couple of years. But I can't clean their house, cook for them, or lift them if they were to become in need of personal physical care. They are still managing, but we (and they) saw signs that they would soon need help. Neither of them see as well as they used to, and this has made them feel unsure of their driving. Dad has Essential Tremor and he "may have" had a couple of incidents where his foot slid off the brake while he was driving. Eeek! This in particular was the proverbial last straw that made my brothers and me decide we needed to talk to them seriously about other options. Mom was also getting very tired trying to keep up with the house and cooking, although she didn't want to admit it. My first suggestion to you is to talk to your folks about where their friends or acquaintances live. My parents had a pretty firm idea of places they definitely did NOT want to move to based on what they'd seen when visiting friends. They also knew of a place connected with their church where several of their friends were very happy. Second thought is don't take their word for it about prices and payment arrangements without tactfully verifying them yourself. My parents were sure they could not afford the place connected with their church. They were basing this on discussions they'd had with other friends who'd told them how wealthy one had to be to live there. Well, when I got fed up with hearing that and tracked down the info myself, it turned out that "wealthy" was relative. My parents with modest savings were able to afford the place they thought was far beyond their means. Thirdly, I agree with those above saying to make the move now. The place my parents moved into is a "continuing care retirement community". This means they move into "independent living". Now that does, in this case, include their meals being cooked for them and weekly housecleaning. So it's not like they have to be able to maintain a house, but they don't need help getting to the dining room or help in the bathroom, etc. Their doctors had to fill out forms certifying that they meet the requirements for independent living; this is a state regulation that covers this type of retirement home here. Now that they are there, they will be able to have assistance as they need it and they can even have hospice care there at the end of their lives. The way continuing care communities work here in NC is that the resident usually pays a fee up front and then pays monthly rent from there on out. I've seen up front fees anywhere from 2K to 200K in the literature for communities around here. The one my parents chose is mid-range. They are able to afford the monthly rent out of their Social Security checks and will only have access investments for other expenditures. This, of course, will vary widely depending on so many factors. I'm just throwing that out there because I went into this thinking that these communities were only for the very rich. Good luck with your journey in helping your parents! I hugged Mom and Dad goodbye this morning as they got ready for the ride over to their new home, and I felt a mixture of sadness and relief. I'm happy we were able to have them here as my kids grew up. It will be so different not to have them right next door; I will miss them. But I'm also super happy and relieved that they were able to make this decision and move to a pretty little studio apartment in a clean, nice building surrounded by people who share their beliefs. I'm relieved that there will be kind people to care for them when they need it. I'm relieved of the guilt I was feeling over not being able to care for them the way I had hoped. I hope that whatever you and your parents end up deciding to do will make you feel equally positive!
  2. I've gone through spurts of posting over the years, but mostly did a lot of lurking. My daughter graduated...yikes...10 years ago?? When my son hit middle school age I started having a lot of health issues that left me without the capacity to be a fully involved hands-on homeschooling mom. It became obvious that my son needed more than I could give him, so when we found out about an awesome private school very near us we placed him there for 8th grade. He's a sophomore now and doing very, very well. It was a hard blow to my "homeschooling is always the best" pride, and I've had to eat a lot of bragging words I spoke in my younger years. This experience has taught me a lot and has certainly changed the things I say to younger women who are considering homeschooling. Anyway, I pop back in here from time to time...often when I want to get a good, thoughtful take on something happening in the world. I click the "like this" button a lot! :-) And I just realized my signature is going to be horribly out of date...well, going to go ahead and post anyway.
  3. I'm another one retiring this year! My son will be headed to private school for 8th grade; our plan right now is to keep him in that school through high school. It's been 21 years for me, too. My kids are 12 years apart in age, so they only overlapped one year of school (pre-K and senior...very easy combination!). The biggest problem I've had so far with this decision is that I feel like I'm letting down some of my fellow homeschooling moms. I remember when I was younger feeling upset by homeschoolers who suddenly (from my perspective) put their kids in school. It felt like betrayal and disloyalty to our "cause". :-) Well, I've stretched and grown a lot since then, and I know their decisions were not about me, just as my decision now is not about anyone else. But I remember those feelings, and it causes me concern. Our reasons: 13yo DS is Mr. Outgoing Social Extrovert stuck in a family of homebody introverts. He has talents that he can't use in a one-student home school; he has areas of knowledge that need to be stretched that I can't stretch. He needs to have his gifts polished and refined in ways that are beyond my reach. I love homeschooling elementary and early middle school...high school not so much. My daughter and I made it through, just barely, and we probably would have put her in school if there'd been a good option available for her. I will be 53yo this fall, I have a chronic illness that is disabling me more and more every year, I am just flat out TIRED of being a teacher, I want to be a wife and mom and do other things with my free time. A friend of mine counseled me yesterday that, after 21 years, it may take me a while to figure out who I really am. She may be right!
  4. We get Chinese takeout for supper, and then snack on Christmas cookies and candy for dessert.
  5. I voted yes, because that is what I require of my son and what I try to remember to do myself. I require it of him because I don't trust the thoroughness of his post-bathroom washing, nor the cleanliness of his towel. (Obviously these are things we talk about, and he's supposed to change his towel frequently, etc. But "supposed to" doesn't always add up to "does" in a 13yo.)
  6. Well, they do have some strong arguments!
  7. Jean, we have a foam mattress that is mostly latex, and it is firm enough that I can turn over on it and not get sucked down into it. It was expensive (Sleep Solutions brand, ordered from Costco) but it gives me my best chance at less pain while I sleep. It is a little too firm in some areas, though. I sleep on my side, and whichever arm is on the bottom gets numb after a couple of hours. I'm considering getting a wool topper to put over the mattress. A hotel we stayed at last year had wool mattress pads on the beds, and that extra layer of cushioning felt really good.
  8. Changes in the weather trigger flares for me; I can feel barometric pressure swings, hurricanes at the coast, heat waves, cold snaps...you name it. Let's see, what else: hormones, lack of sleep, travel, stress... I've learned to plan my life around the possibility of flares. For instance, on Sundays I have to get up early and go to church (a couple weeks of the month it's very early because my husband needs to be there to run sound). So getting up early, making myself get ready quicker than usual, riding in the car, interacting with people, walking around the church building, standing up and sitting down, going out to eat, working around son's youth group schedule...all of that simple normal activity adds up to pain. So I always, always plan to have Monday be as much of a recovery day as possible. Something easy to cook, no appointments, give the boy schoolwork he can start without me so I can sleep in, etc. When I type all that I out I realize how far from "normal" this disease has taken me. Bleah...
  9. I agree that checking with the NICU first is a good idea! Even hospitals that specifically want handmade items may have different guidelines and requirements for those items. The hospital where my son was born will only accept items made with acrylic or cotton yarn and everything has to be machine washable. They reuse the hats and blankets and put them through institutional washing machines and dryers, so they need to be pretty durable. I knit some hats for an online friend who was giving them to a NICU near Chicago. That hospital welcomed hats knit with superwash wool; they told her that wool kept the babies' heads warmer and drier. Some hospitals, though, don't want any wool at all because of the possibility of wool allergies. Bottom line for me is: research before sending things!
  10. Yes! This is a very good idea. In addition to helping your local hospital, there's also a charity called Warming The World http://www.warmingtheworldinc.org/ that sends preemie hats to hospitals in disadvantaged areas, both in the US and abroad. My kids were both born early and spent time in NICUs. The one where my son was born had hat and blanket donations from crafters and it was a really nice way for the babies to look like individuals in that institutional setting.
  11. We all love baseball, but I don't know if we'll manage to stay up late all those nights now that our Cards won't be in it. We'll see...I could easily get sucked into watching them all...I felt kinda forlorn all this last weekend with no games to watch. As to who we'll root for...well, my husband says he's probably going for the Royals. That feels a little wrong to me, since they've been rivals of the Cards before. But I certainly don't have warm fuzzies for the Giants after the NLCS. So...
  12. Oh, remember the baby blanket I decided was an icky color combination?? I looked at it again in the light of day on Saturday and suddenly it didn't look so bad. So I knit a few more rows on it, and I started really liking the way the cream yarn was mixing with the variegated browns and tans. I showed it to my husband and he said it looked like a good color combination for a little boy's blanket. Lessons learned: I need to go outside my color comfort zone more often. I need to remember to evaluate colors in good light. And, most important, if I want a second opinion I should ask my husband the artist, rather than my 13yo, the jaded teen. "Mom, that thing you're knitting is going to look like someone drizzled mayo all over a slab of meatloaf!" :001_rolleyes:
  13. I have two categories of stash: yarn to make things for myself and yarn to use for charity knitting. I've decided I need to get to a no-stash position for the first category. For one thing, I'm often drawn to the same colors so I end up buying yet another skein of something in "my colors" and then I don't know what to do with it. How many blue/purple/burgundy scarves and shawls can one woman wear?? :huh: But for my charity knitting, I do allow myself to maintain a stash so I can take advantage of bargains on really good quality yarn when I find a sale. I have a per-skein price limit that I will allow myself to pay for each type of yarn I use. Having that limit in mind has saved me several times from getting caught up in an eBay bidding frenzy. :p
  14. Are you on Ravelry? I'm a member of two Ravelry groups focused on donating to PR. One is called "Bundles of Joy" and the other is "For the Children of Pine Ridge". The moderators of these groups have contacts in various schools, medical facilities, and social services offices on the reservation who let them know what is needed. There are guidelines and addresses posted on both of the groups. These groups are very friendly, helpful, and chatty! I did find this site where it looks like a group of PR supporters are posting information about needs on the reservation; this is not specific to knitting and includes other giving projects: http://friendsofpineridgereservation.org/projects/
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