Yes, we do. Our oldest was on the receiving end of many, because it was what worked for her. If I placed her in time out, she was a clingy mess for several hours afterward. If given a choice between time out and a spank, she would choose the spank, and often did. We have had to spank our middle two very infrequently. Other means of discipline work better for them. In fact, spanking makes my second oldest more wild, we figured that out quickly. Its not the only tool in our toolbox, and it's not the one I go to first. But it's there. To really scramble your brain, I am a non vaccinating, homebirthing, extended nursing, co-sleeping mom! YOu dont find many of those who spank.

We've been doing CC since January of 2003. I love it. It is something we COULD do at home, but I prefer to do it in a community. I don't have anything negative to say about it at all.

My first and middle names are Jennifer Ellen JenniFeR ELLEn

I posted this on my blog, and my Hive Mind friend, 2lilredsnc recommended I post this on the SN board to see if others are having similar struggles. -------------- Some wandering reflections on today... This morning was another battle about clothes. I'd say we have one of these every week at some point or another. She had an idea about what she was going to wear but had not laid it out. That is usually a really bad thing. Rob and I were out last night, babysitter didn't make sure to ask. Well, this morning I invited Lily and Grace to come out to Starbucks with me for chai. Both girls seemed a little clingy after I had been gone a lot yesterday. Grace couldn't find anything that felt comfortable. I put up with the searching, the whining, the frustration, and the sobbing. I remained rational and supportive, and tried to give her options. Even looked in the dirty laundry for her. It got later and later. I got to a point where we needed to leave. I gave her a choice between two things, she refused. I told her we needed to leave, she ratcheted it up a notch and started throwing clothes and begging me to not leave, and generally hyperventilating and gagging on her sobs. I was trying to get cereal for Jack and Felicity before we left, and my hands were shaking so bad from the ongoing auditory assault and my blood pressure was so high that I dropped and broke several things. We finally got in the car. She and Lily started in on each other with the poking and the tattling. Grace was upset and not stable, and always takes it out on some child. I thought I was going to go off the deep end. I grabbed out my Rescue Remedy (herbal supplement used for shock victims, actually. Herbal valium, if you will), and put on some Steven Curtis Chapman. Loud. Finally, some peace. Ended up just going through the drive thru because it was SO much later than I expected. Got to church, everything was just ducky for Grace. I was shell shocked for most of Sunday School class. I asked for prayer for Rob's business trip (each week 3 days, sometimes more), prayer for Grace's dental appt which never goes well because she freaks out on the anesthesia and then freaks out about the tingly sensation when the numbing meds wear off. A woman in my class mentioned that she wished she could help me, that I sounded overwhelmed. I told her to just pray for me. Another friend mentioned that she and her husband wished there was something they could do for me (she had been in the Sunday school class) and I asked for prayer for my ability to endure and cope, stretch and grow. I took Grace on an errand to the store to get cucumber and onion around 3pm. She wanted to bring a book into the store. I was in a hurry, I told her no. We needed to move fast, she couldnt read while we walked, and I didn't want her to lose the book. She got back into the car, locked the doors, crossed her arms over her chest, and glared at me. I counted to 3 and she got out. We got in the store and she yelled at me about the book again, and ran into the bathroom. I got my produce and went after her. Had another discussion about how we needed to move quickly, and said I wanted to get garlic bread. In the garlic bread aisle, there happened to be flip flops for sale, and she asked if we could look at them. She was happy to find several that were comfortable and I told her she could have them. Her love language is gifts. She told me that she knew I loved her because I bought her shoes. All was rosy. I took the opportunity to tell her that I could feel her love when she said I did nice things for her, or cooked a good meal, that what speaks love to me is words of affirmation. She apologized for an incident on Valentine's Day that I dont remember, but I forgave her for it. One nice little teachable moment today. I left for the choir party with repeated ritual "hug kiss nosy", she must have asked 6 times for it as I was trying to leave. She did not call me while I was gone to ask me to come home. Yay! Good thing, because I was trying unsuccessfully to not have a breakdown. Had a good emotion filled talk with a wise and wonderful friend. Wish I hadn't cried around other people, but what are you going to do, you know? They were busy, and I didn't mind sharing with my friend. I barely could even enjoy being out of the house today at the choir party, just so overcome with the yelling and rage and trying to make sure I didn't flip out on her while she was melting down. Why is it so hard to act like an adult around her? I wonder if other moms of Autism spectrum kids have this issue.. I think many moms of teens do! So, the end of the day, and I am still processing it all. This whole brand new perspective on Grace with her official diagnosis, learning about Aspergers and how I have to bring my "A-game" every minute so I can avoid meltdowns just kicks my butt. I know I will grow and learn, and being at the beginning of growing always sucks. I know with her sensory meltdowns, if I can see them coming, I can avoid them. If other 3 kids aren't needing me, we aren't in a hurry, etc. We still don't really have a sensory diet. I hear other moms talk about how their OT gives them a sensory diet. I have rough outline, but feel like I would need a weekend away to match up what OT recommends with activities in the Out of Sync Child books and create a sensory diet for her. If I get bad sleep especially, I am really short tempered and snarky and don't really see her Aspergers, what I see is a defiant 9 yr old who can't act her age. For all the world, she seems like your average 9 year old, and there are days when that's all I see or want to see too. I get SO frustrated at her, and she is just being who she is. I really JUST read about uneven development in Aspergers/Autism and see now how that is what is really going on. Years of expecting much more out of her and and belitting her to act her age, now I know she has a different maturity level trajectory. But I dont know what to expect of her now. When her 6 yr old sister is in many ways becoming more mature, what do I do with that? This past year, they have both sorta been age 6. But Lily is growing up and Grace, well, isn't. I am just learning about the whole concept and how even though Grace is 9, she has a high school level reading ability, but a K4 emotional maturity level. She's all over the place. This is an aspect I need a lot of direction with from other moms of kids on the spectrum. She just CANT modulate her emotional reactions. She wont take responsibility to get herself together to do well, and when I see her melting down and offer suggestions of things her OT has told her to do when she starts feeling stressed, she refuses. I don't really believe she is "old enough" to get it. Also, Lily is starting to understand there's a difference. She is embarrassed at Grace''s sensory meltdowns, even if they are just at home or in the car, especially when they are in public. She is not understanding why we tolerate older sister's fits, etc. Last night I saw several kids books on autism spectrum.. for Aspergers and for Autism. BUT we haven't talked to Grace about having Aspergers. Dont feel like I can get a kids book on it to help Lily till we tell her.. With her emotional maturity being pretty delayed, K level, it doesn't seem appropriate to talk about it with her. I don't like the whole label concept being put on my child for her to understand being "different", yet books I'm reading recommend talking about the differences in the way you think and process with your child. She loves therapy, doesn't mind having all this testing done, I don't think she thinks anything is amiss. Its a quandary. Thanks for listening. I feel a lot better just getting all this out there.

Im in NC and a name was required here also. We wanted it to sound official for documentation purposes too.

I'm 36

I would mention to ped, maybe get eval for sensory processing. I know that it can be in some families that sibling has lesser issues or opposite issues.. like my family. My 9 yr old daughter just got dx'd with aspergers. also had previous diagnoses of spd, sensory modulation dysfunction, auditory processing disorder, developmental dyspraxia. My 6 yr old daughter has ADHD and is a sensory seeker. She has opposite and less severe sensory issues from my older daughter. I know it is easy to see. I see several things in my 3 yr old that look like my oldest. But I think she will be less severely affected. Let me know if you want to talk!

we would expose deliberately, my oldest is entering puberty. I really really REALLY dont want to give the vaccine, knowing its contents, and how poorly it actually protects people since I know about 3 dozen kids who got the vax and got the pox at some point later. We personally know a woman who caught CP at age 22, and not only was a complication that she acted weird, she ended up being permanently brain damaged as a result of her case. I am glad to see it mentioned here, as it does happen, and is now a fear of mine.

I've given birth four times, and the only bloody murder screaming I did was while pushing out my 10 pound son while I stood up in the birthing pool and my midwife dislodged his shoulders! Women react to labor in a lot of different ways, I know I have with all 4 of mine.

I enjoyed Star Trek, Terminator, and Wolverine. Want to see Night at the Smithsonian and Angels and Demons. Looking forward to Transformers!

thank you for sharing this! I am so glad it was a positive experience!

Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerich Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler Reforming Marriage by Doug Wilson

I am Legend, great book, bad Will Smith movie. Another changed ending! Children of Men. Great book, bad movie. Bad!! Anne of Green Gables 2 and 3 Twilight I liked Ella Enchanted the move and Ella Enchanted the book. Just should have not had same title! DaVinci Code

I get letters and recorded voicemails from my insurance company concerning out lack of adhering to the vaccine schedule. I ignore them. When we go in for a well check and decline the vaccines offered, I have to sign a refusal form. My family doctor is awesome, and is totally supportive of whatever we decide to do.

I have one boy and have kept his cut short. His hair is straight and I didn't like the way it looked when it started to get shaggy around a year!

I just started researching, but here are the book I have come across, two are just for girls, though: http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Guide-Aspergers-Syndrome/dp/1843106698 http://www.amazon.com/Aspergers-Girls-Tony-Attwood/dp/193256540X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242670767&sr=1-1 http://www.amazon.com/Girls-Umbrella-Autism-Spectrum-Disorders/dp/1931282471/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242670767&sr=1-3

Thank you so much for your comments and suggestions!! I love having so many wonderful moms to bounce things off of!

I am on facebook too. you can find me under mamafrelle @ yahoo.com

My labors were: 18 hrs 3 1/2 hrs 1 hr 15 minutes 5 hrs 45 minutes

I discovered today that my 3 yr old daughter can read. She reads about as well as my 6 yr old (which is not well, beginning level BOB books with sentences like "Mag has a rag hat"). Felicity has been in a 2 yr old preschool class this past year, along with a pre-k homeschool co-op class once a week. At the pre-k class, they did a letter per week packet in class.. picture of an apple with a worm in it as a craft on the front, tracing the capital A on the front cover, practicing writing the capital letter on the inside facing pages, etc. We read to her often, she has always loved books. In fact, a week before her second birthday, she looked up at me while looking at several books on the floor and said "I can't read". It has frustrated her for some time, but I didnt really think anything about it. Anyway... so she sounded out MOM a few weeks ago with my prompting. Yesterday she walked up to my bed where a Dr. Seuss book was sitting. Since MOO was in big letters on it, it must have caught her eye and she pointed to them and said M O O Mooooo. I decided that since she randomly came upon a word and sounded it out and read it, maybe I'd just sit down with her and see what she did with a book. I grabbed a simple book, like the BOB books but not one of them. I had never seen it before, and neither had Felicity. This was an unfamiliar book to both of us. I pointed to the first word. She quickly sounded out L I Z and said Liz. She went on to slowly sound out and read "Liz is six", "Liz is at bat" , "Liz can get it", "pig" and "cat" before she grew tired of reading and asked me to finish the book. I guess my question is... should I just continue sitting with her and having her read bits of books like I did today, or should I start with something like Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons? Any resources for the really young reader parent?? Thanks!

I have a full freezer and stocked pantry. I keep it stocked. But Im not doing anything out of the ordinary at all. Im ignoring the frenzy and reading nothing about new cases, etc etc. Eat healthy, wash hands, take vitamins, wash hands, get rest, wash hands, exercise wash hands...

things I use several times a week: garlic press prep bowls with lids salad dressing measure mix thing stoneware muffin pan double burner griddle can opener

I think it depends on your kids about it being too easy. WHen mine get babysat, they have to keep Jack out of the street and our of anything in the house he might get into... have to split up fights between Grace and Lily and deal with meltdowns, and have to keep Felicity from hurting Jack when no one is looking. It can be easy sometimes, but mostly its work with my four. I dont have 2 children that are 5 and 7 that will play board games or dance with a 14 year old and who will put themselves to sleep at night. I wouldnt pay 10 bucks an hour for that either.

I pay 12 an hour for all 4 kids. If there were 6 kids, esp from two families, I would have a sitter and her friend and not just one sitter. I like the idea of the parents paying separately too. So I would pay a sitter 12 an hour for my four, and my friend might pay 8 and hour for her 2. So that's 20 an hour split two ways for however many hours.

Thanks for your perspective :) I appreciate your answering. I haven't yet figured out, other than needing help with drawing inference and doing less verbal answering of flash cards, what else I might need to do education wise on the spectrum for her.