lovinmyboys Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I took my kids to the park today and we were the only ones there. Then a guy came and just sat in his car. Then he left and we were alone again. I don't remember ever being all alone somewhere, but today it made me nervous. I couldn't really enjoy it, because I started worrying about something happening. Obviously nothing happened, but it got me wondering if others go to the park when no one else is there. Now that I am home, I sort of think it was ridiculous that I was nervous, but being there felt spooky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I prefer to go when there are other people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Yes, I do. I go to eat lunch, I go to read, I go to feed the squirrels, I go to walk, I go to handle annoying paperwork in the sunshine.... 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiara.I Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Yes, all the time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Yes, all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I will say I have yet to ever go there when there was nobody there. There are always people there. it is set back from civilization so I would worry about a problem and being too far to get any kind of help. But again it really has never been an issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Yes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Yes, frequently. However, there have been times when I have gotten that spooky gut feeling and I left. Better a moment feeling foolish to mitigate risk. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I've gone alone, and with my kids. It's been a while since we've hung out at a park. But I do remember going. Usually there have been at least a few people around; if not moms with kids, then people walking or sitting on the grass, etc. I understand being nervous about a person just sitting in the car when you are there alone with the kids. Around here at least, I've seen a lot of people sitting in their cars eating and sometimes reading. I used to wonder about it but then I came to the conclusion that most likely they are on their lunch break and wanted to get away from the workplace for a little while. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Sure. But our park is part of a residential area. Dd goes there alone as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tm919 Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I really prefer not to go alone. I like to go when other people I know will be there, because with 2 kids and 1 of me, a few more pairs of eyes can't hurt! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Yes, especially when I'm working and between schools/projects. It's nicer (and sometimes more convenient/less travel/less expensive than heading to coffee shop) to sit in the car at the park and work than it is to sit in the school parking lot. Cat 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LatteMama Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Our neighborhood parks are usually quiet during the day. We've been the only ones there many, many times. But it is also extremely common for people to sit in their cars in the parking lot. Wouldn't creep me out but I wouldn't ignore my instincts either. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Sometimes. That guy who parked his car was probably doing what a guy I know does. He has two jobs (adjunct faculty teaching at night is the second job). There's a park somewhat close to the end of the commute to the second job. He used to stop there and eat his sac dinner. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Yes. All the time. It's not meditative with two little kids around. And I can go fast enough for an aerobic benefit by myself but not so much with kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I do, but usually with the dog if she counts. Our park tends to be very crowded though. I don't think I have ever been there when there weren't multiple other people there. I do hike alone on fairly remote trails. I might pass a person every hour or so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 In nj, nc, Ga, tx, japan, long island/nyc and ohio, yes i would have no issue going by my/our selves. In CA, it would creep me out. Different staye, completely different vibe. Plus the nicer climate ups the number of homeless. Higher your number of homeless, higher your number of crazy homeless. Homeless doesn't bother me, crazy homeless I try and steer clear of. Basically, just go with your gut. If it is telling you to go, then I'd go. But yes, many people will just hang at a park during meal breaks, between classes, to offset commutes (it is amazing ten minutes can make in places. Leave at one time, get there 20 minutes early, leave five-ten minutes later, get there 20 minutes late. ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Yep, many times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Well, I never go without my kids but that is because I am always with my kids. If I don't have my kids, I'm going somewhere more fun than the park! But I am often the only one there with my kids. Maybe 1/3 of the time. We live in a small town. There is usually people sitting in cars in the parking lot. I assume they are eating lunch or enjoying the sunshine. I think some people who have jobs driving a lot or something stop there to go to the bathroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I go and walk my dog alone or take the kids. If I am horseback riding all by myself at a more secluded area and there is a car in the lot I will text my dh and give him description and plate info or take a picture of the plate, just in case. Mostly it is for my safety.....as in, if I were to fall, the horse spook, etc. The park near us is a place where many people stop for a bathroom break and to eat their lunch, catch a quick cat nap, etc. We are rural and there aren't any fast food places for 10 miles in any direction so they don't have a lot of options. When I am waiting for our foster son for appointments I will often sit in the car and nap or read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I prefer to be there alone. Then I don't have to police my kids so carefully and make sure nobody is running up the slide or not sharing. The more additional kids who come the more I wish I could leave, but I find I can't easily relax around other people's children. Busy parks are extremely tense for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 We used to go alone. No problem. My husband ate his lunch 3 to 5 days a week at a park near his office for nearly 20 years. One day a group of kids/parents were there, and one asshole woman came up to his car and asked him to leave because his car window was down and the kids were running too close. He told her he was eating lunch there like he always did. She persisted. She finally left when he told her to get the hell away from his car or he would call the police. I told him he probably would have been blamed, but if it was me I would have gleefully slapped some sense into her. That's wacky. I hate that some poor man can't eat in his car without being viewed as a pedophile. I think he responded just right! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Yes, all the time. I also walk at dusk in isolated places. I don't worry about it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 We used to go alone. No problem. My husband ate his lunch 3 to 5 days a week at a park near his office for nearly 20 years. One day a group of kids/parents were there, and one asshole woman came up to his car and asked him to leave because his car window was down and the kids were running too close. He told her he was eating lunch there like he always did. She persisted. She finally left when he told her to get the hell away from his car or he would call the police. I told him he probably would have been blamed, but if it was me I would have gleefully slapped some sense into her. What a crazy lady. Why didn't she just move her kids to another part of the park if her kids were getting too close to his car? I like his response. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I did. But when mine were all little, I used to get nervous if no-one was around. Having a baby, a toddler and a preschooler makes you logistically vulnerable if someone decides to snatch your purse or something.This might sound silly, but I don't know your local laws. Didn't you carry a knife, mace, or some other weapon? I always thought having something, potentially more than one something, was common sense. I don't go anywhere without being armed in some manner fitting the situation. Between wild animals and crazy people I couldn't get behind being totally unarmed. Maybe this is a cultural difference? We also love bonfires and target practice, so it could be a hick northern white chick thing :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Got it. My husband gifted me with a knife, proper snow tires, and more shooting lessons before we got married. He is big into safety in the Great White North. The more discussions I have with people the more I figure 'my peeps' might just be fairly unique! Cell phones help immensely too, don't they? That is a piece of technology I take for granted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Well, completely alone, no, as I don't care to go to the park by myself - there are better things for me to do with my time. :P But with just my kids, sure. We go down there sometimes and there's no one else there. It's never occurred to me to be strange or weird or creepy if we're alone... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 So I'm not really sure what you are asking. Sorry, it's common for me to seek clarity. Are you saying, Do you go alone? as in, this guy was there alone and it creeped me out. Or are you saying, Do you go alone (you and your kids) without another family playing there? Or are you emphasizing just going solo, without kids or whatever--not talking about the man who was there alone, but saying being alone yourself might be dangerous because of creepy people? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 This might sound silly, but I don't know your local laws. Didn't you carry a knife, mace, or some other weapon? I always thought having something, potentially more than one something, was common sense. I don't go anywhere without being armed in some manner fitting the situation. Between wild animals and crazy people I couldn't get behind being totally unarmed. Maybe this is a cultural difference? We also love bonfires and target practice, so it could be a hick northern white chick thing :p I've never gone anywhere armed with anything. I'd be more scared of my crazy toddler getting the weapon than anything. :) To answer the OP, I haven't gone alone to a park in a car. I've walked to one with my lunch or books to study. There was a park near my high school where men would go to hook up with other men during the day. My HS boyfriend and I were going on a picnic and wondered wth was up with all these single dudes in cars (the family minivan was particularly nice) in the lot. The police busted that practice up the next year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I live urban and go out all the time alone. My kids at their ages don't love going to a park now without other kids for the fun factor, but I've never thought about NOT doing it for safety reasons. And I have never been armed in any way. I have a cell phone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 This might sound silly, but I don't know your local laws. Didn't you carry a knife, mace, or some other weapon? I always thought having something, potentially more than one something, was common sense. I don't go anywhere without being armed in some manner fitting the situation. What good is a weapon going to do? The most likely crime to happen to you is that you'll get mugged. Whether you have a weapon or not, when you have small children the best thing to do is to just hand over your money. I've never read a news story that involved a criminal with a weapon and some other guy who thought they'd be a hero that didn't end badly. People are rarely abducted, raped, or murdered by strangers. When those things happen, it's almost always done by somebody known to them, usually a family member or significant other. So I guess if I need a weapon, I should carry it inside my own house. When I go to the park - a well lit, public place - my best defense is other people. Edit: Of course, we don't have much in the way of dangerous wildlife, alligator in the sewer jokes aside. Last week a coyote made it all the way down to Battery Park (um... as far downtown as you can get in Manhattan before you end up in the water. The Financial District) but I think the poor thing was relieved to be captured. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Nah, purse snatching isn't why I carry weapons, though it is why I don't keep a gun in my purse! I'd rather not arm a criminal. We have had some incidents of abduction, rape, and murder that certainly make everyone nervous, but it's the wolves, bears, and moose, as well as the wild dogs, that are more likely to come down to the parks. The trash cans are tempting targets and the moose just wander around, but can be very dangerous is you're on the big trail and so are they (especially with babies along, the cows get extremely aggressive). Weird people (or poor snack packaging, which is way more common)? I have knives just in case. But firearms are really more for the animals. I carry the heaviest caliber I can handle so I can drop a bear if needed. I really hope I never have to, even a small black bear is pretty scary when you have a bunch of kids to manage! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 What good is a weapon going to do? The most likely crime to happen to you is that you'll get mugged. Whether you have a weapon or not, when you have small children the best thing to do is to just hand over your money. I've never read a news story that involved a criminal with a weapon and some other guy who thought they'd be a hero that didn't end badly. People are rarely abducted, raped, or murdered by strangers. When those things happen, it's almost always done by somebody known to them, usually a family member or significant other. So I guess if I need a weapon, I should carry it inside my own house. When I go to the park - a well lit, public place - my best defense is other people. Edit: Of course, we don't have much in the way of dangerous wildlife, alligator in the sewer jokes aside. Last week a coyote made it all the way down to Battery Park (um... as far downtown as you can get in Manhattan before you end up in the water. The Financial District) but I think the poor thing was relieved to be captured. I hear about the coyote! That was wild. Did they ever figure out how it got inside the city? We had a friend who claimed he saw one up here, but I think we all figured he was just night line and couldn't tell a coyote from a fox :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 I hear about the coyote! That was wild. Did they ever figure out how it got inside the city? We had a friend who claimed he saw one up here, but I think we all figured he was just night line and couldn't tell a coyote from a fox :D I have no idea how it got inside, but my guess is that it came down from upstate, strolled through the Bronx (parts of which are quite suburban or even wooded) and headed down from there. That's how wildlife usually does it, unless it comes in from Jersey, in which case they usually swim to Staten Island first. We get a lot of deer come over from Jersey on the South Shore (of Staten Island), and turkeys (omg so many turkeys), but so far no coyotes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmyboys Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 So I'm not really sure what you are asking. Sorry, it's common for me to seek clarity. Are you saying, Do you go alone? as in, this guy was there alone and it creeped me out. Or are you saying, Do you go alone (you and your kids) without another family playing there? Or are you emphasizing just going solo, without kids or whatever--not talking about the man who was there alone, but saying being alone yourself might be dangerous because of creepy people? I wasn't very clear. I was worried about being in an empty park-just me and my kids. It is not a park we go to frequently and it isn't near a main road. I felt a little vulnerable. In reality, I knew we weren't in danger, but I felt nervous anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 We have a park nearby where several service workers (carpet cleaners, electricians, etc.) eat their lunches. Some eat at picnic tables, some it in their cars. I've never thought a thing about it. I think a "picnic" in the park is a great way to spend your lunch "hour." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petrichor Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I find that I prefer being at parks when it's just me and DS. When other people arrive, we tend to wrap things up. :coolgleamA: That said, we live in a safe area, and the parks we go to are visible from main roads. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zinnia Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 We live next door to a park. It's often empty during the day, especially in marginally nice weather. I go over there often; it doesn't really bother me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I've gone alone, and with my kids. It's been a while since we've hung out at a park. But I do remember going. Usually there have been at least a few people around; if not moms with kids, then people walking or sitting on the grass, etc. I understand being nervous about a person just sitting in the car when you are there alone with the kids. Around here at least, I've seen a lot of people sitting in their cars eating and sometimes reading. I used to wonder about it but then I came to the conclusion that most likely they are on their lunch break and wanted to get away from the workplace for a little while. Yes to both. When ds was little and park age, we'd go alone, it was great. I played with him and didn't have to be in the way of other kids. I stayed aware of my surroundings and rarely took my purse to the playground, I'd lock it in the trunk. I also go to parks for lunch, when I worked in an office and just needed air for lunch. I still do if I'm running early for an appointment and just need to clear my head for a few minutes or waste time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 This might sound silly, but I don't know your local laws. Didn't you carry a knife, mace, or some other weapon? I always thought having something, potentially more than one something, was common sense. I don't go anywhere without being armed in some manner fitting the situation. Between wild animals and crazy people I couldn't get behind being totally unarmed. Maybe this is a cultural difference? We also love bonfires and target practice, so it could be a hick northern white chick thing :p I know you did not direct this at me, but what?! No I have never carried any of that and it did not cross my mind. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I did. But when mine were all little, I used to get nervous if no-one was around. Having a baby, a toddler and a preschooler makes you logistically vulnerable if someone decides to snatch your purse or something. I never have a purse with me! Or even money in my pocket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I know you did not direct this at me, but what?! No I have never carried any of that and it did not cross my mind. In my little insular homeschooling enclave I'd say 4 out of 5 are armed in some fashion. Again, usually to deal with snack packaging, but that's not the idea behind it. It seems like it might be regional/cultural, because almost all the women I know, including the sweet geriatric ones, carry some form of weapon on their person for self defense. I'm actually more likely to leave my gun at home when going to the park than on a hike, because the likelihood of me running into animal trouble is much higher as soon as I leave the blacktop. This is why I don't assume my paradigm of experience mirrors anyone else's. I think I'm weird :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 In my little insular homeschooling enclave I'd say 4 out of 5 are armed in some fashion. Again, usually to deal with snack packaging, but that's not the idea behind it. It seems like it might be regional/cultural, because almost all the women I know, including the sweet geriatric ones, carry some form of weapon on their person for self defense. I'm actually more likely to leave my gun at home when going to the park than on a hike, because the likelihood of me running into animal trouble is much higher as soon as I leave the blacktop. This is why I don't assume my paradigm of experience mirrors anyone else's. I think I'm weird :o I don't think you are weird. I think you live in a slightly wilder place than many if not most of us. Most people don't have to think about encountering bears or moose on a walk in the park. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Yes. But I have felt creepy sometimes, so we just leave. I have never felt the need to arm myself. If I thought I needed that kind of protection somewhere, I'd choose not to go there. Thankfully, I've always had that choice. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolatechip Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Yes, I do this a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I don't think you are weird. I think you live in a slightly wilder place than many if not most of us. Most people don't have to think about encountering bears or moose on a walk in the park. Very true! Our typical park wildlife is squirrels and chipmunks. Though how big of a handgun would one need to be effective against a bear? Yikes! :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I run all alone in the country all the time. Coyotes/dog mixes are probably the scariest thing I could meet though deer and I mutually scare each other often. Combines, however, are dangerous! There is never anyone at our park unless my kids are there. I let them go by themselves. We live in a teeny tiny town though. I did walk trails alone when I lived in Indy but I was 23 and indestructible I thought. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 I run all alone in the country all the time. Coyotes/dog mixes are probably the scariest thing I could meet though deer and I mutually scare each other often. Combines, however, are dangerous! There is never anyone at our park unless my kids are there. I let them go by themselves. We live in a teeny tiny town though. I did walk trails alone when I lived in Indy but I was 23 and indestructible I thought. I don't know if this was before you had kids. When I was single and thus before I had kids, I did a lot of things that I would never do now. I hiked alone a lot. I traveled alone. I walked alone at night in unsafe areas of my city. I think it wasn't so much that I was indestructible but - it was just me. If anything happened, it wouldn't have really affected anyone. I mean, there were people who would be sad and miss me (I am pretty sure :-) ) but no one depended on me. Whole new ballgame once those kids came into the picture. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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