Dh, a new atheist, wrote this post on FB today - opinions?

[Forget-Me-Not]

Soapbox rants of any kind on Facebook usually earn the poster a spot on my hide list. Even if I agree with them.

[Guest]

If I was his friend on Facebook and realized he had gone through a big crisis of faith I'd probably privately contact him - his points aren't particularly difficult to refute. But the fact remains that knowledge doesn't save, and argumentation doesn't save. Only the supernatural working of the Holy Spirit on the heart of a person saves. You can't just logic someone into or out of religious belief.

 

And if he wasn't actually interested in discussing it deeply, I'd just let him be and pray for him. It's entirely unsuitable for public discussion and was pretty indelicate of him, but if I was his friend I'd try to read past the annoying and attempt to help (if he wanted it).

[Audrey]

This is a man who was 100% sold on Christianity and spent a large amount of his time witnessing to people. He, at the time, believed it was truth and wanted other people to know the truth as well. I think he feels just as strongly that it's a lie now, but he wants to give Christians an opportunity to convince him otherwise. So far, the only responses he receives from Christians are comments like, "You just have to have faith" and, "God's ways are higher than our ways" etc. I think he's definitely ruffled some feathers and lost some friends - not that they were truly friends to begin with. I don't think his post is offensive, but it does ask some tough questions I'm sure many people don't want to think about.

 

You know that saying about the "bigger they are, the harder they fall."  It's the same with conversions/de-conversions.  It always seems to happen that the ones who were most fervent before they converted/de-converted are the most obnoxious after they convert/de-convert.  It goes both ways, of course.  But, no matter whether they're schilling for their god/Jesus or against, those kinds of people usually don't see how obnoxious they are being, nor do they clue in to the eye rolling and exasperated sighs of most people around them. 

 

Your dh's post was really obnoxious, and I'm saying that as an atheist.  He needs to find somewhere atheist-friendly to vent like that.  Facebook isn't the optimal venue for it, and he's just going to alienate people. If that was his goal, then by all means, let him vent away.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

When I left a religious organization that was not a cult but had cult-like aspects (it was a Christian denomination of a particularly strident bent) the exit emotions were nearly overwhelming. I joined a support group online, and one of the universally acknowledged benefits of it was that the group provided a safe place to work out all the feels without potential for regret.

 

In other words, we knew we were spinning like tops and our rhetoric was extreme but we had no choice but to get it out. Better to do it in a place where big emotions are welcome than to vomit emotionally all over the more stable spiritual lives of our friends and relations.

 

I'd tune out your DH without censure but also without flattering him (or condescending to him) by telling him he's probably confronting people with really deep and important stuff that they just lack the courage or maturity to think about, and that's obviously why they don't like it...I'd just wait for him to move on out of this phase. Silently. It's not my business what he wants to talk about. I don't have to verify, approve, agree, or argue.

 

If he didn't move on to more mature discourse fairly shortly, I'd probably unfollow him because life's too short to feel forced to ride everybody else's spiritual journey roller coaster, although I respect each human's right and obligation to ride their own whether it's a pretty ride or not. Mine was not pretty. Everyone who allowed me travel it unhindered, whether they approved or not, is a lifetime friend.

 

For the record, I like people who tell the world to go to hell during at least one phase of life. I mean, not as a career or anything, but just as a genuine outpouring of "where I am right now" that can't be silenced. Humanity crying out. People who make it all the way from birth to death without ever offending large swaths of people with their religion or politics make me nervous.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Things I like to see on FB:

Kid pictures

Recipes

Funny stories

Life experiences

Jokes

Funny pictures

Cat videos

 

Things I don't like to see:

Drama

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Things I like to see on FB:

Kid pictures

Recipes

Funny stories

Life experiences

Jokes

Funny pictures

Cat videos

 

Things I don't like to see:

Drama

 

I'm approaching done with the cat videos. It's starting to look like the same half dozen cats.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

I'm approaching done with the cat videos. It's starting to look like the same half dozen cats.

Yup. We have probably been getting trolled by some professional cat actors all along.

 

When in doubt I can always fall back on puppy videos. For real fun though I search for sovereign citizen traffic stops on YouTube. Always a hoot.

[purplejackmama]

Things I like to see on FB:

Kid pictures

Recipes

Funny stories

Life experiences

Jokes

Funny pictures

Cat videos

 

Things I don't like to see:

Drama

Chocolate, I hereby appoint you Queen of Facebook. Forever.

[Tsuga]

Suppose I did some magic tricks in class and convinced some of my students that I was really magic. Would you feel that I treated those kids rightly if I gave candy to the ones who wondered in awe and believed while I gave detention to those who didn't?

What if I REALLY WAS magic? Would it be ok then? Could I rightly scold a kid for being skeptical of unrealistically amazing claims and punish them for it? The child can hardly be blamed for being familiar with the concept of illusion and manipulation.

The idea of punishing a child for not believing in magic is simply barbaric, and you wouldn't stand for it.

Would it matter if they were my own children? No. Their lack of trust in me would not deserve punishment. It would mean that I needed to be more convincing by providing more evidence. It doesn't mean that I should threaten them. If I seriously and openly threatened my own children with burning, disfiguring torture in my basement if they didn't believe me, would you support the system when they took my kids away, (or me away)? I hope so.

This is how it is with God.

Except you don't get to see the magic tricks for yourself. You have to trust some anonymous person who wrote a story about the magic tricks 40 years afterwards. How do you know that you can trust them with claims of mythological proportions?

(I'm telling you here that it is not God who I don't trust, it's ordinary men who claim that they talked to somebody magic who might have been God.)

Instead of evidence, I get the kind of persuasion one would expect to receive from a fraud who was incapable of producing evidence. I get warnings of very bad consequence if I don't believe and promises of very pleasant things if I do. The clincher is that nobody can affirm the reality of these punishments and rewards, because, conveniently, they are only applied after you die. This has all the markings of an elaborate con.

How could such an elaborate con evolve to fool so many people? You already know of a few. Look at Islam. Look at Hinduism. Look at Mormonism. Why is it so difficult to imagine that your particular faith evolved similarly?

 

Gah.

 

It's not a team. You don't have to win anybody to it. Unlike Christians, atheists don't believe anyone's going to hell. If it's working for them let it be. Seriously.

 

I mean, it's his right to express himself, by all means, but this kind of stuff is best saved for the de-programming therapy he might consider entering if he feels so conned.

 

He's going to alienate people, and not necessarily bad people, either. If I didn't have any Christian friends I'd lose a lot of really nice people as friends (same goes for any religion). I'd suggest he find another outlet for his anti-theism passion.

[Spy Car]

"This is why I'm not on Facebook," says the life-long skeptic.

 

I get way more than I need of this sort of crap right here :D

 

Bill

[hornblower]

Well, I'll be in the minority (again LOL)

I don't mind 'evangelizing' atheists. I think personal fb pages can be just like blogs & people can write, share, post anything they want.

I read just as many semi-ranty religious things all the time about how they see god is working miracles in their lives every day. 

People on fb can unfollow without unfriending. Or they can unfriend. I don't really think most people posting are thinking of audience reaction. They just have a platform to talk on about whatever is in their head. I yak about dogs & poltiics on fb. He can use fb to connect with other atheists if that's what he wants.

April 23 is Openly Secular day btw :) "The mission of Openly Secular is to eliminate discrimination and increase acceptance by getting secular people - including atheists, freethinkers, agnostics, humanists and nonreligious people - to be open about their beliefs."

If he wants new fb friends, pm me & I'll friend him :)
 

[kiwik]

This is a man who was 100% sold on Christianity and spent a large amount of his time witnessing to people. He, at the time, believed it was truth and wanted other people to know the truth as well. I think he feels just as strongly that it's a lie now, but he wants to give Christians an opportunity to convince him otherwise. So far, the only responses he receives from Christians are comments like, "You just have to have faith" and, "God's ways are higher than our ways" etc. I think he's definitely ruffled some feathers and lost some friends - not that they were truly friends to begin with. I don't think his post is offensive, but it does ask some tough questions I'm sure many people don't want to think about.

if he was a very evangelistic Christian it makes sense he would be an evangelistic atheist. Neither to my mind are appropriate on Facebook or any other open forum. I am guessing though he is one of those people who lecture others on the evils of smoking two days after giving up. Maybe he will get the message from friends and pull his head in?

[creekland]

This thread has been an interesting read.  I have no problem with what he wrote, but maybe that's because I work with teens and they are always discovering new things in life and are pretty evangelical about it (the topic doesn't matter - it can be an author, a diet, a "cause").  It's pretty common in my life.  I try to warn them that the vast majority of people aren't going to convert and many will get annoyed.  This thread gives me more to back up that advice.

 

As to his reasoning in general?  There comes a stage in any believer's life where they start wondering the same thing he posted (albeit, perhaps not with the analogy).  They end up deciding that God either should be a vending machine (doing pretty much everything for those who believe and nothing for those who don't), God should be "fair" in our eyes (nothing bad should happen to good people), or that we aren't God and don't get to make the rules for this planet (but there are plenty of other reasons to believe).

 

Everyone decides for themselves.  It's part of that God/human relationship.

 

He's reached that stage now and wants to share his new epiphany with his world in the same way that many non-believers who come to faith do.

 

I'm fully ok with letting him voice his thoughts - esp on his own FB page.  Even as a Christian (who has definitely been at that reasoning point in my life), I have no problem with it.  I know all mature Christians will get there at some point.

 

I'm not on FB, but if I were - or even IRL - I'd have no reason to unfriend him.  I might skim quite a few of his posts simply because there's nothing "new" in them, but his relationship with God is purely his - not mine.  He's free to believe as he wishes - as am I.

 

For most, the evangelical part wanes after a while, but it doesn't for all (again, topic doesn't matter).

[Joules]

It's interesting how different perspectives give different thoughts on the post. Before reading the comments, I saw it as someone who left Christianity and was told he was going to hell so many times that he felt a need to make a blanket statement so everyone would leave him be.

 

I didn't see it as evangelical because I was thinking it was only one post and a reaction to excessive evangelism. And I didn't see it as him wanting to be convinced until the OP mentioned it. I saw it as explaining how unlikely he was to be convinced.

[SparklyUnicorn]

For some reason the part about this being "dh" went right over my head last night.

 

Wow, that's tough.  That's even more tough than me thinking this was your son.

 

 

[Carrie12345]

My FB friends can see I'm "out" by the groups I'm in and pages I like.

I don't want to read posts from religious people telling me I'm an idiot. I can't imagine wanting to tell the vast majority of my friends that they're idiots.  It's mean, insulting, and pointless.  Unless the intent is to alienate friends.

[PrincessMommy]

This is a man who was 100% sold on Christianity and spent a large amount of his time witnessing to people. He, at the time, believed it was truth and wanted other people to know the truth as well. I think he feels just as strongly that it's a lie now, but he wants to give Christians an opportunity to convince him otherwise. So far, the only responses he receives from Christians are comments like, "You just have to have faith" and, "God's ways are higher than our ways" etc. I think he's definitely ruffled some feathers and lost some friends - not that they were truly friends to begin with. I don't think his post is offensive, but it does ask some tough questions I'm sure many people don't want to think about.

 

He did?   I didn't see the tough questions in this particular FB post.  He was using an example of magic and comparing it to faith.  I'm not really sure what his question was though.

[Ipsey]

I haven't read any responses, so you have my untainted opinion.

 

I'm an atheist, an I completely understand your DH's desire to unburden himself and go off in this way, but I also learned something from my fervently, obnoxiously in-your-face Evangelical Christian days. I don't do this sort of declaiming anymore, and I find it unsettling from others.   I've never so much as mentioned my atheism on my FB page.

 

The "zeal of the de/converted" is a recognized thing for this reason. When a person undergoes an enormous life change or change of belief, for which they have great feeling, they want to share it. Over the past several years, I've seen several FB friends convert to Christianity and announce it broadly on their FB. I've had one friend become openly atheist. They do the same sort of things, and they eventually taper off, or so I've found, though some remain tenacious about using their FB to continue on fervent I LOVE JESUS! or GOD IS AN ILLUSION diatribes. I know that a few other of my friends have let go of religion, but don't go bananas on FB about it. :)

 

Today is Openly Secular Day, where people are encouraged to mention that that they are not believers. The more people realize that they actually know and love atheists, the more welcome and less feared we will be.

 

In only one way to I admire what your husband did. One is far more likely to be marginalized and hurt in interpersonal relationships and professional ones, but even gently (and far less abrasively than your husband) mentioning that they are atheist than if they were to mention that they were Christian.

 

I don't know whether I'll have the courage to do it on my FB this year--even just to say "Happy Openly Secular Day" and post a pretty picture.  Maybe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[amo_mea_filiis.]

It's his page. He'll get over this stage.

 

Tell him to go listen to The Thinking Atheist or Cognitive Dissonance. Then he can just agree and yell at the computer/phone/pod/pad.

[Kathryn]

My opinion? Juvenile and eye-roll-worthy and very obviously the work of the newly deconverted. As others said, I'm not on Facebook for drama. I'd scroll on by, just like I do with all the daily affirmation posts of my Christian friends and all the multi-level marketing posts of my

mom friends.

[merry gardens]

It would make me really sad to see that a friend who presented as a devout Christian for years had never experienced God in a personal way.

[ktgrok]

This is a man who was 100% sold on Christianity and spent a large amount of his time witnessing to people. He, at the time, believed it was truth and wanted other people to know the truth as well. I think he feels just as strongly that it's a lie now, but he wants to give Christians an opportunity to convince him otherwise. So far, the only responses he receives from Christians are comments like, "You just have to have faith" and, "God's ways are higher than our ways" etc. I think he's definitely ruffled some feathers and lost some friends - not that they were truly friends to begin with. I don't think his post is offensive, but it does ask some tough questions I'm sure many people don't want to think about.

 

Honestly? His witnessing to people as a Christian, if it was done in this style was probably as oboxious as this post is. Both are preaching, which isn't what I want on my facebook page. A one line pithy remark to make me think? Sure. An insult to my religion OR my lack of religion, a diatribe about atheism or Christianity, etc, not appropriate. 

 

Also, he assumes Christians think other relgions are elaborate cons, which is also offensive. I am Christian and my church believes all religions have at least part of the answer and are struggling to find their way. 

 

Like other said, evangelism that is in your face and offensive isn't cool, even if it is atheist evangelism.

[LucyStoner]

Facebook is not a personal page or blog. It's a platform where people gather digitally to socialize. And like other social situations, people can be rude or gracious. It is not gracious to stand at a party and proselytize. It is not gracious to invite people to sales event totally disguised as a party. It's not gracious to drive someone to your church when you said you were driving them to something else. Excusing rudeness because "it's his page" shows a lack of understanding of how people use social media. I don't post things to "my page", I post to participate mutually in the conversation/community that I am in. If people want to use Facebook like a billboard or a protest sign, they can. But that doesn't make it savvy, socially normative or gracious. Ranting is best left to private spaces with close confidants.

[Saddlemomma]

This is a man who was 100% sold on Christianity and spent a large amount of his time witnessing to people. He, at the time, believed it was truth and wanted other people to know the truth as well. I think he feels just as strongly that it's a lie now, but he wants to give Christians an opportunity to convince him otherwise. So far, the only responses he receives from Christians are comments like, "You just have to have faith" and, "God's ways are higher than our ways" etc. I think he's definitely ruffled some feathers and lost some friends - not that they were truly friends to begin with. I don't think his post is offensive, but it does ask some tough questions I'm sure many people don't want to think about.

 

The answers to his suppositions/questions from a Christian standpoint are clear as mud to me and not tough to answer at all.  Further, I find statements like the bolded above trite and not helpful at all.

 

His analogy is not even close to the true state of affairs because he is assuming innocent children are being treated unfairly.  This is where his argument, again my opinion, fails. There are no innocents period.

 

IMHO it seems he has always had a false view of who and what God is and never realized his own true condition. Therefore he is now angry with God for his own misconceptions. These false ideas and misrepresentations of God are an epic failure of modern churches everywhere. We left a church for these very reasons.

 

From my standpoint, no one is punished by God in an unjust fashion.  It is not unjust in our society to punish convicted felons is it? Would you rather those who are guilty of a crime just be allowed to continue functioning in society to further perpetuate their crimes? Well, in the same manner, we are already guilty and convicted felons before God. We all fall short, and we are all sinners--all of us. There is no one on this green earth who has not sinned at least once.  Telling just one lie in your lifetime is a sin.  Children, at very early ages (I see this with the 2.5 YO I babysit) begin lying naturally.  It's not something they are taught.  It's just our sin nature. God cannot, by His nature, commune with sin.  He cannot be present with sin.  To do so would defy the Law of Non-Contradiction and God cannot do the illogical (think square circle). Therefore God is obligated, by His very nature, to remove Himself from all sin. 

 

So, if God cannot be with, near, or in sin, yet He loves us so much, how does He resolve this issue? By sending His Son as a sacrifice to cleanse our sin -- and here's the caveat -- if we choose to accept His sacrifice and thereby His grace and mercy.  We have a choice.  We can choose to believe in His Son and what He did for us, out of love and mercy, or choose not to believe and disregard this gift.  It's a personal choice.  God did not have to do that at all.  He did it to provide a way out for us.  Think of it as a pardon.

 

For those who choose not to accept this gift (pardon), we go to the place we all would have gone anyway -- hell.  What is hell?  It's abiding in the total absence of God who is the source of all good.  Now, if you don't like God in the first place, or don't believe in Him, or don't want anything to do with Him, why in the world would you want to be in Heaven where you would be surrounded by Him eternally?  Granted, things will not be pleasant in Hell because all good (God) is absent from that place, but you won't have to deal with the God you rejected in life either.

 

Anyway, that's my answer, as a Christian, to his questions and reflect my beliefs -- not saying it represents anyone's else's thoughts or beliefs, and I am not trying to offend anyone; just sharing my thoughts.

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Facebook is not a personal page or blog. It's a platform where people gather digitally to socialize. And like other social situations, people can be rude or gracious. It is not gracious to stand at a party and proselytize. It is not gracious to invite people to sales event totally disguised as a party. It's not gracious to drive someone to your church when you said you were driving them to something else. Excusing rudeness because "it's his page" shows a lack of understanding of how people use social media. I don't post things to "my page", I post to participate mutually in the conversation/community that I am in. If people want to use Facebook like a billboard or a protest sign, they can. But that doesn't make it savvy, socially normative or gracious. Ranting is best left to private spaces with close confidants.

 

I guess.  It's easy enough to block someone if you don't want to read it.  I think people feel safer sorting their thoughts out using that format.  It might be annoying for some people, but again they can block it.  If I'm sitting next to someone, it's harder to block them.

[ktgrok]

Well, I'll be in the minority (again LOL)

 

I don't mind 'evangelizing' atheists. I think personal fb pages can be just like blogs & people can write, share, post anything they want.

 

I read just as many semi-ranty religious things all the time about how they see god is working miracles in their lives every day. 

 

People on fb can unfollow without unfriending. Or they can unfriend. I don't really think most people posting are thinking of audience reaction. They just have a platform to talk on about whatever is in their head. I yak about dogs & poltiics on fb. He can use fb to connect with other atheists if that's what he wants.

 

April 23 is Openly Secular day btw :) "The mission of Openly Secular is to eliminate discrimination and increase acceptance by getting secular people - including atheists, freethinkers, agnostics, humanists and nonreligious people - to be open about their beliefs."

 

If he wants new fb friends, pm me & I'll friend him :)

 

 

Two things: if he did post this on National Secular Day, and made a note of that, I'd let him slide. That seems like he'd have a reason, and I'd just roll with it. Might even give it some credence as a look into his mind rather than evangelization. If he posted stuff like this all the time, no. 

 

Second, I agree that people posting about God working in their lives all the time is obnoxious. I tend to start unfollowing if it continues, and I'm Christian. Mainly because I refuse to believe that your baby getting better was because God is good, because what does that say about the baby that doesn't get better? That God isn't good? Or praises that the hurricane passed them but hit someone else, etc. Blergh. 

 

Shallow, poorly thought out arguments about anything also will get me to stop following someone. 

[LucyStoner]

I guess. It's easy enough to block someone if you don't want to read it. I think people feel safer sorting their thoughts out using that format. It might be annoying for some people, but again they can block it. If I'm sitting next to someone, it's harder to block them.

Sure, but unfollowing someone on FB is the equivalent of extricating yourself from listening to rude dude drone on at a party. If people start avoiding someone at parties or gatherings or hiding you on Facebook, that someone is probably being annoying at best. We are all human and make mistakes like rudeness from time to time. At a party though the person gets visual cues and feedback and will probably notice if people are avoiding them. The fact that there is little no such feedback on Facebook should not be mistaken for license for ungracious behavior. I wouldn't be unfollowing or hiding someone over a one off screed but there is a time and a place for stuff like that and that time and place is not usually Facebook unless you are in a group on Facebook for new atheists. Perhaps the OPs DH should find or start such a group.

[LucyStoner]

I have a friend who constantly beats a few drums on Facebook. I don't hide him because I don't want to miss the stuff that is why we are friends- the humor, the shared history, the interesting discussions. His soapbox things are land value, sex worker rights and anti-gun control. Odd mix. I would expect that many people have him hidden because it's constant and often rather inflammatory.

[PrincessMommy]

When I was posting before I was being pushed out the door for carpool duties... and didn't get to finish my thought. :driving:   Anyway, I wanted to add that I would actually welcome someone asking serious questions on FB.   I'm always a little disappointed that people only seem to want to make blanket statements about anything, rather than discuss things.   I guess I'm in the minority too. 

 

However, I probably would take the conversation to PM or email after an initial discussion. 

[LucyStoner]

When I was posting before I was being pushed out the door for carpool duties... and didn't get to finish my thought. :driving: Anyway, I wanted to add that I would actually welcome someone asking serious questions on FB. I'm always a little disappointed that people only seem to want to make blanket statements about anything, rather than discuss things. I guess I'm in the minority too.

 

However, I probably would take the conversation to PM or email after an initial discussion.

I have discussions on FB, largely in topical groups. If one is inviting discussion though, they don't preach or proselytize.

[Library Momma]

FB is way too shallow a forum for something that is deeply meaningful to someone.

[zoobie]

This is a man who was 100% sold on Christianity and spent a large amount of his time witnessing to people. He, at the time, believed it was truth and wanted other people to know the truth as well. I think he feels just as strongly that it's a lie now, but he wants to give Christians an opportunity to convince him otherwise. So far, the only responses he receives from Christians are comments like, "You just have to have faith" and, "God's ways are higher than our ways" etc. I think he's definitely ruffled some feathers and lost some friends - not that they were truly friends to begin with. I don't think his post is offensive, but it does ask some tough questions I'm sure many people don't want to think about.

So the personality...intensity was pre-existing? There are narcissistic Christians and atheists and every religion in between. The newness amplifies everything. This would be extremely difficult to live with, or it would for me anyway. How are you doing? :grouphug:

[LucyStoner]

FB is way too shallow a forum for something that is deeply meaningful to someone.

The shallowness of someone's FB community depends on how that group use FB and what they discuss. I have a very close group of friends who connect via FB about meaningful things. I also have a very enriching beneficial connection to a local homeschool group on FB. Facebook need not be shallow or deep or profound or mundane. It can be whatever people make of it.

[PrincessMommy]

I have discussions on FB, largely in topical groups. If one is inviting discussion though, they don't preach or proselytize.

 

I agree... which I why I said "if they ask a serious question...."  I didn't really see a question in Creekmama's dh's post though. 

[Library Momma]

The shallowness of someone's FB community depends on how that group use FB and what they discuss. I have a very close group of friends who connect via FB about meaningful things. I also have a very enriching beneficial connection to a local homeschool group on FB. Facebook need not be shallow or deep or profound or mundane. It can be whatever people make of it.

 

I think that you are definitely in the minority on this.  Most people I know use FB to show off pictures of their kids accomplishments and memes about drinking wine.

[J-rap]

You want our opinion on the idea of posting it on Facebook, or on what he is saying?

 

Regarding posting it on Facebook....  If he were a good friend of mine, then I'd probably read it because I like knowing what's going on in the minds of people I am close to.  I'm not of the opinion that his Christian friends will become his enemies after reading this.  They will probably either reach out to him or just ignore it.  (Maybe he goes on about a lot of things, and this is just one more thing?)  People use Facebook for all kinds of things, so I guess he can use it to think out loud.

 

As far as my personal opinion on what he is saying, I certainly get where he's coming from, but I think that unfortunately he has been taught wrong and damaging views of Christianity along the way.  That is both sad and frustrating.

 

 

[Deee]

PM me - I'll put in him touch with my husband (relatively new atheist, but no prior faith). They can rant to each other and I can get on with my reading. I've been an atheist for 30 years. I feel no need to discuss it. But my facebook page is full of politics, sustainability, refugee rights and social justice issues. I hate looking at pictures of other peoples kids, cars or meals ;)

[LucyStoner]

I think that you are definitely in the minority on this. Most people I know use FB to show off pictures of their kids accomplishments and memes about drinking wine.

I have been very intentional about using FB in ways that enrich rather than detract from my life. If I friend someone one on Facebook, I want to see their kids and even their memes. I don't friend people I don't care about in some way or who are part of my community. I actually closed my account and started a new one so that I could start from scratch and not accept friend requests from people who bug me or I wouldn't socialize with if we lived close.

[Leav97]

Does FaceBook have to be a shallow forum of limited meaning?  I do exactly what many of you have mentioned.  I post things for family to keep up with my kids.  Connect to activities with friends.  It's all very superficial.  Are we limiting our connection to others by only discussing the weather for fear of offending each other?  Have we lost the ability to have a discussion without taking offense?  Did we every really have that ability?

[Pam in CT]

Does FaceBook have to be a shallow forum of limited meaning?  I do exactly what many of you have mentioned.  I post things for family to keep up with my kids.  Connect to activities with friends.  It's all very superficial.  Are we limiting our connection to others by only discussing the weather for fear of offending each other?  Have we lost the ability to have a discussion without taking offense?  Did we ever really have that ability?

 

:lol:

 

And also:   :iagree:

 

This is maybe a thread of its own.  

[Kathryn]

Facebook is not a personal page or blog. It's a platform where people gather digitally to socialize. And like other social situations, people can be rude or gracious. It is not gracious to stand at a party and proselytize. It is not gracious to invite people to sales event totally disguised as a party. It's not gracious to drive someone to your church when you said you were driving them to something else. Excusing rudeness because "it's his page" shows a lack of understanding of how people use social media. I don't post things to "my page", I post to participate mutually in the conversation/community that I am in. If people want to use Facebook like a billboard or a protest sign, they can. But that doesn't make it savvy, socially normative or gracious. Ranting is best left to private spaces with close confidants.

I love this.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Does FaceBook have to be a shallow forum of limited meaning?  I do exactly what many of you have mentioned.  I post things for family to keep up with my kids.  Connect to activities with friends.  It's all very superficial.  Are we limiting our connection to others by only discussing the weather for fear of offending each other?  Have we lost the ability to have a discussion without taking offense?  Did we every really have that ability?

 

I don't think it HAS to be, but I think that, for most people, it is. As I said in my post, if I'm in the mood to discuss/debate/challenge myself, I do it in other places, with other people who are also in the mood to discuss/debate/challenge themselves. My captive FB audience doesn't need to be subjected to my emotional thrashings, and I don't want them to unfriend or block me for that reason. I'd rather keep my FB feed the way it is, because it serves a specific purpose for me. 

[Lady Florida.]

I would like the ability to censor certain discussions containing key words from my feed. 

 

I really only want to see discussions about kids, hobbies, the latest dance craze, pop culture, what high school bands are doing *I have a lot of band director friends* books, and things like that.

 

If you use Social Fixer, you can filter out what you don't want to see. 

[ktgrok]

I don't mind real discussion on big issues on Facebook, if it is done gracefully. Calling someone's relgiion a con game is not graceful.

[LucyStoner]

Does FaceBook have to be a shallow forum of limited meaning? I do exactly what many of you have mentioned. I post things for family to keep up with my kids. Connect to activities with friends. It's all very superficial. Are we limiting our connection to others by only discussing the weather for fear of offending each other? Have we lost the ability to have a discussion without taking offense? Did we every really have that ability?

I don't think social connection is superficial in and of itself. I also challenge that it is of "limited meaning". In the last few days on FB, I've had a nice discussion about a homeschooling topic which continued face to face at park day and led to a new field trip plan, lent support to a friend who is sick with little kids to care for and discussed parenting challenges related to puberty and autism. A friend of mine posts facinating travel and geography quiz stuff that I enjoy and I've enjoyed keeping up on my neices and my friends and cousins kids. I also arranged to have dinner with a friend. And enjoyed pictures of a child taking ballet class in a superhero costume. I've found several new albums from my music group. That's more meaningful and deep to me than screeds and selling shit (and I consider preaching to be a form of selling). I enjoy discussing politics, theology, science and music but discussions are a mutual thing, not using FB as a billboard to push an ideology.

[vonfirmath]

Does FaceBook have to be a shallow forum of limited meaning?  I do exactly what many of you have mentioned.  I post things for family to keep up with my kids.  Connect to activities with friends.  It's all very superficial.  Are we limiting our connection to others by only discussing the weather for fear of offending each other?  Have we lost the ability to have a discussion without taking offense?  Did we every really have that ability?

 

I sometimes wonder if the "ideal" was in the day of small communities. Yeah, people discussed things and offended each other. But, absent other choices, they were more prone to forgive and the person another chance another day. And I've also seen my husband discuss stuff with other guys -- things I'd be afraid to bring up. They argue and have loud conversations. And the next moment are clapping each other on the back and going off to have a burger together.  And it makes me wonder if how guys relate just doesn't lead to hard feelings the way it does when women disagree, etc.

[PrincessMommy]

:lol:

 

And also:   :iagree:

 

This is maybe a thread of its own.  

 

 

I actually asked a similar question here a few days ago....

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/549108-so-fb-discussionswhy-not-engage-in-discussions/

 

[Leav97]

I actually asked a similar question here a few days ago....

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/549108-so-fb-discussionswhy-not-engage-in-discussions/

 

 

Thanks, I'll go take a look.

[Lady Florida.]

I'll be in the minority (is anyone else with me besides hornbower?) and say it's fine. His page, his opinions. I wouldn't condone going on others' pages and posting that, or replying to "Thank God for..." type of posts with "No it wasn't God", but on his own wall? Meh. 

 

I don't unfriend people who go on rants or post things I disagree with. I see many posts on a daily basis on the evils of GMOs or vaccines, why being vegetarian (or vegan) is the only decent choice, how "natural" is better than "chemical" and more. Why should religion be different? I just scroll by those posts I don't want to read. I remain friends with those people both on facebook and IRL. 

 

As an atheist, I don't post like that on my facebook wall, but that's because I'm not out to all of our family (mine or dh's). I have atheist friends who often post either pro atheist or anti theist stuff. I have religious friends who thank God for everything from helping them find their keys to curing a disease. They also post how they feel about atheism. So what? 

 

I personally prefer facebook to be my happy place. I post about fun things we're doing, photos, occasional first world problem rants (which I try to make obviously tongue in cheek) and I share upbeat videos and other light hearted stuff. I prefer my deeper conversations to happen either in person, in an email exchange, on a blog dedicated to such conversations, or on this type of forum. Others like facebook to be a place where they can express strong opinions about issues. There's room for both.

 

If your husband loses friends over such posts I would have to ask why they can't take the tough questions about their faith (though I agree with those who say what he posted doesn't amount to tough questions).

[Slartibartfast]

Well, I'll be in the minority (again LOL)

 

I don't mind 'evangelizing' atheists. I think personal fb pages can be just like blogs & people can write, share, post anything they want.

 

I read just as many semi-ranty religious things all the time about how they see god is working miracles in their lives every day. 

 

People on fb can unfollow without unfriending. Or they can unfriend. I don't really think most people posting are thinking of audience reaction. They just have a platform to talk on about whatever is in their head. I yak about dogs & poltiics on fb. He can use fb to connect with other atheists if that's what he wants.

 

April 23 is Openly Secular day btw :) "The mission of Openly Secular is to eliminate discrimination and increase acceptance by getting secular people - including atheists, freethinkers, agnostics, humanists and nonreligious people - to be open about their beliefs."

 

If he wants new fb friends, pm me & I'll friend him :)

 

 

I didn't read it as posting that on his page. She said he was "challenging" and I took that to mean that he was taking it to other's pages. I don't care what someone posts on their own page.