Just withdrew our daughter - why do I feel so terrible?

[FLMomRN]

Hi all. This is my first post but I've been hanging around and reading for many months now trying to soak up as much information as I can. Thank you all so much for sharing your wisdom with those of us trying to figure this whole thing out.

I have four children who all attend public school. My oldest will be graduating in June, and the others are in 10th, 6th, and KG.

I started researching homeschooling before my youngest started KG this year. I felt like we should try homeschooling her but she ended up getting accepted into a charter school with excellent reviews so we gave it a try. It was great at first but about halfway through the year we started to realize that it really wasn't a good fit for her. We figured we'd let her finish KG there and we'd start homeschooling for 1st grade (and likely for 7th for my 6th-grader).

I can't say she's having any major problems at the school but she really just isn't doing well overall with being there for 7 hours and having almost an hour of homework every night. She's doing fine academically but she's quite miserable. I'm not sure if it's that she just learns differently than my children who did okay with KG or if it's that KG is just so much different from when my older kids were little.

I'll confess that it became increasingly difficult to remain positive about it in front of her at times (usually while working on "decompositions, attributes, and base ten grids" ad nauseum with a tired 5-6 year old), so I'm sure my negativity has probably influenced her some, but she has really grown to just flat-out dislike going there.

It's weird because on one hand she is so bored with the work they are doing and seems to find it too easy, but on the other hand, I feel like it is a LOT of work for kids her age (and they only get one 20 minute recess). I wish y'all could see the huge stacks of worksheets that come home daily. She shows interest when I teach her things at home but begs me not to make her get up at 6 a.m. to go there or to not make her do her homework.

Anyway, I guess that was a pretty long back story (sorry), but the point is that we finally decided there is no need to leave her in for another 6 weeks just to say we did. They have several tests to take in May and I'm sure whatever she misses there will be made up at home. We felt good about our decision and told her today would be her last day. We sent our letter of intent yesterday and went to her school this morning to withdraw her.

The office lady gave her best effort to try to convince us to leave her for the last 6 weeks. When we wouldn't budge she said it was policy that we had to speak to the assistant principal before we could withdraw her. Being the horribly socially awkward person that I am, when she asked why we felt we couldn't let her finish the year I just started yapping and yapping. I do that annoying thing where I feel the need to over explain myself and make them feel better.

We made it out alive and signed the form. We let her finish the day there and my husband is picking her up now.

My husband says I should be relieved that it's over with and we can move on, but I feel absolutely horrible. Mentally and physically. Why couldn't I just let her finish? I felt like I was advocating for her and now I'm terrified that I made the wrong decision. I feel bad that removing her may have offended her sweet teachers. And what if she really did like school and I ruined it for her? Should we have taught her to finish what she started?

I guess I'm not really sure what I'm asking of y'all, I was just wondering if anyone else felt like this after withdrawing. From what I read it seems like most people are usually happy after. It really caught me off guard that I'm so upset over this. :(

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

She was not happy, you were not happy, there is no need for your unhappy little girl to remain in kinder for another 6 weeks.  You are feeling a lot of emotions that are perfectly normal to feel.  We are conditioned to believe that only ps can teach our kids.  It is scary to step back from that and follow a different path.

 

You and she will be fine.  Take time off to detox and play games.  Spend time bonding and exploring together.  This is a great age for learning, but I truly believe that shoveling hours and hours of clerical work down a kindergartner's throat (which is frequently what ps kinder has morphed into) is detrimental and wrong.  Kids are hardwired to learn from experiences.  Give her those.  Do lots of read alouds and cuddling.  Grow a garden.  Take field trips.  And give yourself time to process this....

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[TarynB]

:iagree:

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[albeto.]

It's not unexpected to face the unknown with some trepidation and anxiety.

 

Just breath. If you drink, have a nice glass of wine tonight. If you don't, I will, and I will think of you. And your family. And mine, and the day I recall bringing my first child home. And what a long, strange trip it's been. ;)

 

Monday morning you'll be so glad you're not doing the same routine that had really worn you down, and in time you'll figure out what to do. Don't be discouraged when you hit some kinks in the road. They are inevitable and they don't mean anything more than kinks in the road. You might consider taking the rest of the school year off and just decompressing. Many people find education at home to work more smoothly if they don't try to recreate the school environment. In other words, consider "deschooling." 

 

Welcome to the forums.

 

:)

 

[SnMomof7]

K should NOT take 7 hours a day plus homework. Hugs.

[Calm37]

I do that yapping and yapping thing, too. I always feel horrible (and stupid, and out of control) after those kind of experiences. Maybe that's all this is.

 

Whatever happened...It's over! Time to celebrate!!!

[Mom22ns]

Why should you have left her in for 6 more weeks? What would she have gained? You're both happy to not have to go back Monday right?

 

I guarantee there is nothing you can do in the next 6 weeks that will do any long range damage to her education. You can take the next 6 weeks off completely and she will be fine. You can take the next 6 weeks and read and let her write stories and draw and play, and you will be fine. You can immediately start some curriculum that you are excited about and she will be fine. Really, she is in K. From a parent who is all but finished homeschooling, relax and enjoy. 

 

You are both going to be fine.

 

And congratulations!

:party:

[MEmama]

Aww, first of all give yourself kudos! It takes all kinds of bravery to advocate for your child against everything we are accustomed to. You mentioned you've been lurking here awhile, so you know many of us have been in your position and we all survived. You will too, I promise. :)

 

I took my son out of grade 1 at an awkward time of the year too and as it turned out his teacher was horribly offended, but honestly? Who cares? DS had been offended all year that she refused to TEACH him something already, but that didn't change her course of action. So we changed ours, and we are still going strong. ;)

 

I agree with OneStepAtATime, it can be scary to change paths and go out on your own. But I also believe in mama intuition and following your heart when it comes to your children. You wouldn't have taken a big leap unless you knew it was for the best.

 

I say call it a year, enjoy your summer, and in a month or two start planning ahead for the fall with a fresh perspective. Enjoy the process; before you know it, you'll be the one encouraging others and doling out advice. :)

[hornblower]

:grouphug: 

 

It was KG, not quitting 6 weeks before the final PhD thesis defense.  (& you know what, even quitting 6 weeks before the final PhD defense is sometimes the right thing to do ;) )

Really, it will be ok. Relax.

It's emotional because it's kind of scary. That's ok. Breathe. You'll be fine.

 

[FLMomRN]

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support. I don't know anyone else who homeschools their children so it's nice to have somewhere to vent.

 

My husband had her call me on their way home. I asked her if she had a good day and she said, "yes." I asked her if she got to say goodbye to her teachers and classmates and she said, "yes." Then I asked her if it made her sad, and in the most heartbreaking little voice ever, she replied, "yeah." My heart sank.

 

I told her I was sorry that she felt sad and she responded all bright and perky, "Mommy, I was being sarcastic." (Clearly she gets that from her older brothers).

 

She then asked if we can have Dairy Queen to celebrate "Being Done Day."

 

I think that sounds like a good idea. :)

[FLMomRN]

I took my son out of grade 1 at an awkward time of the year too and as it turned out his teacher was horribly offended, but honestly? Who cares? DS had been offended all year that she refused to TEACH him something already, but that didn't change her course of action. So we changed ours, and we are still going strong. ;)

 

Excellent point. I suppose my daughter and I were rather offended on the two occasions that I forgot to put her completed homework sheets in her folder and DD had to skip recess to redo the sheets she had already done at home.

[Renai]

 

She then asked if we can have Dairy Queen to celebrate "Being Done Day."

 

I think that sounds like a good idea. :)

 

This is an EXCELLENT idea, lol! :D

 

I like that, Being Done Day...

[73349]

The fact that you feel exhausted now shows the level of anxiety putting her in, making her play along, and then having to brace yourself to take her out has pushed you to. Wait until it's 6 AM tomorrow and you don't have to make her go. You'll feel better. :)

 

Welcome to the Hive!

 

 

[Mabelen]

You so did the right thing. And I say this as someone who works in a public school kindergarten classroom.

 

ETA Our students may have up to one hour of homework a week.

[SparrowsNest]

I pulled my kindergartener out at Christmas.  (It was just a terrible fit for her.  The work was developmentally inappropriate, she was frustrated and feeling so discouraged and ashamed at her inability to do what they wanted her to do.)  It was terribly nerve-wracking, and I was totally dreading the actual going in and filling out of forms and explaining our decision to people whose business it isn't, but I also do that over-explaining thing to try to smooth things over.   But you know, it's over now, just a memory.  My sweet girl is making progress because we started back at the beginning, here's how you hold a pencil and  building from the very basics and going at a pace she can manage, not moving on until she's confident and ready.  I'd guess she's about half a year 'behind,' but the skills we have are solid and that foundation is what's important to me.  And, even more importantly, she's happy now.  I noticed about a month after we'd pulled her out, she was singing to herself again, and that was a sound I hadn't heard since August.  I'll gladly suffer the disapproval of a few administrators to give my child a song in her heart. 

 

So, chin up!  You did what you felt was best for your child and your family.  Enjoy the time with your little one. :)

 

 

[MotherGoose]

Trust me, your child's teachers have dealt with parents who have no worries about offending them, and whatever you did or didn't do during the process won't be one of their legendary stories. I'm sure they've been yelled at, cursed at, and blamed for little Johnny's temper tantrum by a parent who was busy throwing an even bigger tantrum. And they may secretly agree that all the work they are giving her is inappropriate but be unable to do anything else because of all the rules.

[Brad S]

Similar to you (Original Post), we pulled our DS out of kindergarten, although at winter break -- certainly no regrets, except that we weren't able to do it earlier due to work and a family emergency.  As others have suggested, I'd decompress for a while, and then let your child's interests drive the learning for at least several months.  I'd recommend that you make sure that the love of learning and curiosity are back before doing formal teaching, if you feel it's even needed.  In our case, it took about six-seven years for the bad memories to fade, but they did.  DS even decided to try school again for eighth grade, in a really nice program, but he'll be back to homeschooling for high school.  Best wishes on your journey!  It will all work out and be great for both of you!

[FO4UR]

Those feelings come from the responsibility you take on when you decide to HS.  The fact that you are going in to it with that awareness bodes well.

[MerryAtHope]

I think your feelings of exhaustion, second-guessing your decision etc... are natural.

 

What a little turkey for saying she was sad! But on the plus side, your K student knows the word "sarcastic" and also understands how to use sarcasm...kudos to her! She's earned Dairy Queen AND the joy of sleeping in past 6 am!!

 

You WERE advocating for her--it's crazy the schedule we put little kids through, and an hour of homework on top of a 7 hour day for K is absolutely nuts! A K homeschool day might be 1 or at most 2 hours, and lots of time for playing, imagination, baking with mom, field trips, nature walks (obviously not all in one day!)...just plain "being a kid." Which, is what she should be doing at her tender young age. I'd read to her and do things together and de-school. She's earned a nice break!

 

As for whether you offended the other teachers--I wouldn't spend a lot of time dwelling on that. You can't make decisions based on what others think, first of all. 

 

And secondly--if they are offended, what will be the result? Hopefully they would get past "offended" and think things like...maybe how we do school for K isn't developmentally appropriate for many kids. Maybe an hour of homework for K students is overkill. Maybe we should consider changes...

 

One can always hope, but either way--now YOU get to enjoy time with your dd. Play together, learn together...what a huge blessing.

[Alte Veste Academy]

K should NOT take 7 hours a day plus homework. Hugs.

 

Amen! 

 

OP, the admin asked why you wouldn't let her finish the year? Snort. I would have burned to ask why, despite the fact that it is completely developmentally inappropriate, they wouldn't let the kids have longer than 20 minutes a day for recess. And, on top of that, why they felt the need to infringe upon out of school playtime with an hour of homework!

 

I'm sorry, I can't let her finish the year because my goal is to average out total recess time for the year by letting her play 6 hours a day for the next 6 weeks, and 12 hours a day this summer. :leaving:

 

I wouldn't have said that though. LOL I would have done exactly what you did. 

[Laurel-in-CA]

Sleep in. A lot. Go to the park. A lot. Read lots of library books together. Let the rest go.

[beka87]

Welcome....what everyone else said....Congratulations on having the courage to do what needed to be done!  Hugs!

[fourisenough]

Eh, I'd feel similarly, I suspect. I just hate drama/confrontation. You'll probably feel relief begin to set in tomorrow morning when you don't have to hustle her out the door. 

 

Today my K girl slept until her body woke her (8:45a- last night was a late one). After eating breakfast in her PJs, we did 90-minutes of table work, then she dressed and did her hair and teeth, helped me fold laundry, and get lunch ready. We went to an indoor pool for an hour of 'recess' and came home to read aloud for an hour. Afterward, we played a few math games, then she saw neighbor kids arrive home. I haven't seen her since... (well, I can see her right now, but she is outdoors running around like a wild thing). The only "homework" she'll have to do tonight is clear the dinner table and read us a chapter of her book before bedtime. IMHO, that is what a K day should look like!

[displace]

I have so much to say but I can't possibly type it all out!

 

In short- congrats! It's totally normal to feel anxious about pulling from public school, even for a million great reasons (which you have in abundance). It's also normal to grieve a little or a lot, esp if you loved public school as a child or feel like you are leaving because of something beyond your control.

 

Don't sweat not finishing the year. You've just saved both of you six weeks of torture. If you are in Florida like your name says, I encourage you to strongly consider going to the Florida parent educators conference. It takes place in May in Orlando. I believe there'll be different talks about starting homeschooling, not to mention lots of curriculum you can at least browse through. They also have a science camp for the kids for two of the days. Feel free to PM me as well. We may be in the same state and if I live anywhere close to you we could meet up.

[Renai]

 

 

I'm sorry, I can't let her finish the year because my goal is to average out total recess time for the year by letting her play 6 hours a day for the next 6 weeks, and 12 hours a day this summer. :leaving:

 

I wouldn't have said that though. LOL I would have done exactly what you did. 

 

I would say that. If anyone needs any help saying the truth as noted above, give me call. I'll help you say it. :D

[RosieCotton]

:grouphug:

 

SUPER AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

 

WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

7 hours of K a day plus home work makes me insanely mad. :cursing:  Talk about destroying the love of learning.

 

 

 

What you are feeling is called normal.

Most of us have been programmed with "brick and mortar is the only path to a complete education" and when we go against it it messes with our psyche. That's how deep the programming is really and it's kinda scary when you think of it that way lol.

 

Your logic is solid, don't sweat your decision.

 

Celebrate. Go to the Children's Museum before schools get out! Buy play doh and paints in bulk. Find a matinee she might like and go during school hours. !

Draw, talk, read to her, have fun, take her out for lunch, take her to the park, enjoy, enjoy enjoy this time.

 

My kids are out 4 hours a day. They love it, and so do I!

 

Welcome!  :hurray:

 

Come back often with your questions!

[Alte Veste Academy]

I would say that. If anyone needs any help saying the truth as noted above, give me call. I'll help you say it. :D

 

Well if I had the presence of mind to think of that in the moment, I would have had zero problem saying those exact words with a big ol' grin plastered on my face. I just probably wouldn't have had the presence of mind to think of it in the moment, sadly.

 

My kids have never been in school, but if they had gone and I had to pull them out, I'm sure it would tie me up in knots, mostly because I actually do think the vast majority of people who work in schools with kids are there because they love kids and want to make a difference. Unfortunately, when they get there and try to make that difference, they find that their hands are tied by bureaucracy and trickle-down, unreasonable expectations, so they just do the best they can within the extremely narrow parameters they are given, and so snark from parents on the way out is probably not helpful, so the questions part of what I posted above wouldn't pass my lips...in that form anyway. The second part, about my remedy and reason for leaving immediately, yes. I might compose a snark-free letter and send it to the teachers, principal, superintendent, governor, president, LOL...and I would definitely include the average recess explanation, but seriously. Because I am totally serious about that.

[Heatherwith4]

Seriously, you can feel confident about your decision. I have one about to start K (at home) and I can't imagine how much it would crush her spirit to have to do that much written work.

 

Enjoy the time with your sweet daughter! :)

[Beth in Mint Hill]

Seriously, you can feel confident about your decision. I have one about to start K (at home) and I can't imagine how much it would crush her spirit to have to do that much written work.

 

Enjoy the time with your sweet daughter! :)

 

Who in their right mind thinks it is a good idea to keep a 5yo child sitting at a desk all day and into the evening!? Even IF they are smart enough to do the worksheets!! Yikes! 

 

This is why we pulled our boys out when my oldest was in 3rd grade and the middle son was in K. They were miserable, and I felt like I was delivering them to the state penitentiary each morning. At that time we lived on top of a mountain surrounded by woods--yet I felt compelled to send them into that building to sit all day waiting for the teacher to tell them every move they could make. That school didn't even have recess for grades 1-6. They got to go outside 1 or 2 times a week when they had PE.  I finally freed them and let them into the fresh air for most of the sunshine hours! 

 

Your first MUST READ is For the Children's Sake.

[RKWAcademy]

Way to go!  You really stood up for your daughter and did what you believe is best for her.  I'm sure it's normal to feel a little apprehensive about the unknown ahead.

 

No K'er should have that much school.  I have two Kindergarteners at home right now.  They'd be miserable bears all day if I ever made them get up at 6am.  In fact, my daughter still took afternoon naps up until age 5.5.  Little guys need their rest.  My son wakes up around 7 and plays Legos for an hour and a half on his own.  Because that is his one true joy in life.  My daughter and I roll out of bed whenever we want to - 8am, later.  We read a lot, play a lot, laugh a lot, and still get in plenty of school.  I suspect 1st grade will be more of the same in our house - with the addition of more science experiments and more gymnastics.  Their only "homework" in the evening is reading to us.  Your Dd will thrive.  Now go get some rest and relax!

[tmstranger]

_{I must admit that I was a wreck after withdrawing my kids, but a year later, I am sooooo glad I did!  They are really much better off at home with me.  You'll be fine.  She'll be fine.  Don't worry!}

[Julie of KY]

HUGS!!! Way to go standing up for what you feel is right.

 

Don't get stressed out over academics for the remainder of the year. School by going to the library - read anything. Go on nature walks - observe and talk. Go to the park. Work in the garden. There is tons of learning to be done through life.

 

[mom2scouts]

I haven't met a new homeschooler yet who didn't have a moment of panic after withdrawing kids from PS.  I left my son in school for those last few weeks even after I made the decision to homeschool.  I wish I had just taken him out.  Enjoy the rest of your school year by deschooling, reading together, taking field trips, and making plans for your new shcool.

[VorLady]

You're doing the right thing. You are. I hope you have a wonderful first day of freedom today.

 

My just turned six year old is sitting beside me working on her phonics. We already did math, so she'll be finishing the hard academics in about an hour total today. Later we'll read a book or watch a documentary on China because that's what she wanted to learn about this week so I ditched my previous schedule and went to the library on Monday. In between she's going to play Legos or have an adventure with her dragons while I work.

 

I can't imagine her being in school for 7 hours with no playtime, I just can't. Give her those six weeks to recover. Read lots of books together. Remember that as a homeschooler you don't have to start school on August 15th or whenever. You can start your school year whenever you want, so take time to get comfortable together, pick your curriculum, and start teaching her that learning is fun again.

[Eagle]

Thinking of you today and hoping the two of you enjoy sleeping past 6, eating a leisurely breakfast in pjs, and having a fun day!

[Chris in VA]

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support. I don't know anyone else who homeschools their children so it's nice to have somewhere to vent.

 

My husband had her call me on their way home. I asked her if she had a good day and she said, "yes." I asked her if she got to say goodbye to her teachers and classmates and she said, "yes." Then I asked her if it made her sad, and in the most heartbreaking little voice ever, she replied, "yeah." My heart sank.

 

I told her I was sorry that she felt sad and she responded all bright and perky, "Mommy, I was being sarcastic." (Clearly she gets that from her older brothers).

 

She then asked if we can have Dairy Queen to celebrate "Being Done Day."

 

I think that sounds like a good idea. :)

 

I think I'm going to enjoy watching your hs journey.

 

Welcome here.

Welcome home.

 

[Reefgazer]

7-8 hours of work is too dang long for a KG, and that was a good enough reason all by itself to pull her out.  You did the right thing, and hang onto what your husband says.

 

When we pulled our kids out of public school, it was a combination of relief and sadness.  The school had a lot of cool things going for it, their friends were there, and they had lots of happy memories.  On the other hand, things were getting ugly - longer homework assignments on low-level work, behavior problem kids allowed to remain in class and be disruptive for the others, a lack of resources and lack of focus on the most academically able children, etc.... So it was a relief to be able to walk away from that.  It'll take some adjustment, so give it time.  In a year or so, you'll not even be able to imagine what it would be like to deal with the public school insanity every day.  :)  From now until the end of the school year, school gently - read alouds, libraries, museums.  You know after testing is done in the spring, the public schooled kids don't even do that much, so you'll be exceeding state standards for sure, LOL!

Hi all. This is my first post but I've been hanging around and reading for many months now trying to soak up as much information as I can. Thank you all so much for sharing your wisdom with those of us trying to figure this whole thing out.

I have four children who all attend public school. My oldest will be graduating in June, and the others are in 10th, 6th, and KG.

I started researching homeschooling before my youngest started KG this year. I felt like we should try homeschooling her but she ended up getting accepted into a charter school with excellent reviews so we gave it a try. It was great at first but about halfway through the year we started to realize that it really wasn't a good fit for her. We figured we'd let her finish KG there and we'd start homeschooling for 1st grade (and likely for 7th for my 6th-grader).

I can't say she's having any major problems at the school but she really just isn't doing well overall with being there for 7 hours and having almost an hour of homework every night. She's doing fine academically but she's quite miserable. I'm not sure if it's that she just learns differently than my children who did okay with KG or if it's that KG is just so much different from when my older kids were little.

I'll confess that it became increasingly difficult to remain positive about it in front of her at times (usually while working on "decompositions, attributes, and base ten grids" ad nauseum with a tired 5-6 year old), so I'm sure my negativity has probably influenced her some, but she has really grown to just flat-out dislike going there.

It's weird because on one hand she is so bored with the work they are doing and seems to find it too easy, but on the other hand, I feel like it is a LOT of work for kids her age (and they only get one 20 minute recess). I wish y'all could see the huge stacks of worksheets that come home daily. She shows interest when I teach her things at home but begs me not to make her get up at 6 a.m. to go there or to not make her do her homework.

Anyway, I guess that was a pretty long back story (sorry), but the point is that we finally decided there is no need to leave her in for another 6 weeks just to say we did. They have several tests to take in May and I'm sure whatever she misses there will be made up at home. We felt good about our decision and told her today would be her last day. We sent our letter of intent yesterday and went to her school this morning to withdraw her.

The office lady gave her best effort to try to convince us to leave her for the last 6 weeks. When we wouldn't budge she said it was policy that we had to speak to the assistant principal before we could withdraw her. Being the horribly socially awkward person that I am, when she asked why we felt we wouldn't let her finish the year I just started yapping and yapping. I do that annoying thing where I feel the need to over explain myself and make them feel better.

We made it out alive and signed the form. We let her finish the day there and my husband is picking her up now.

My husband says I should be relieved that it's over with and we can move on, but I feel absolutely horrible. Mentally and physically. Why couldn't I just let her finish? I felt like I was advocating for her and now I'm terrified that I made the wrong decision. I feel bad that removing her may have offended her sweet teachers. And what if she really did like school and I ruined it for her? Should we have taught her to finish what she started?

I guess I'm not really sure what I'm asking of y'all, I was just wondering if anyone else felt like this after withdrawing. From what I read it seems like most people are usually happy after. It really caught me off guard that I'm so upset over this. :(

 

[momacacia]

Making a Ker stay in from a 20 minute recess to redo homework that a parent forgot to get back in the bookbag? And they had the audacity to repeat the experience? Yeah, I wouldn't do ps bureaucracy very well.

 

Dollars to donuts, they were motivated to keep her in the last 6 weeks of school not out of any concern for your student but either because it makes them "look bad" or because of money they won't get from the county/state for her head count the last 6 weeks. It's not about the poor little Ker not finishing the year (clearly her happiness isnt a concern, eg, homework during recess), I'm sure it is about the school's image or bottom line.

[FLMomRN]

Amen! 

 

OP, the admin asked why you wouldn't let her finish the year? Snort. I would have burned to ask why, despite the fact that it is completely developmentally inappropriate, they wouldn't let the kids have longer than 20 minutes a day for recess. And, on top of that, why they felt the need to infringe upon out of school playtime with an hour of homework!

 

I'm sorry, I can't let her finish the year because my goal is to average out total recess time for the year by letting her play 6 hours a day for the next 6 weeks, and 12 hours a day this summer. :leaving:

 

I wouldn't have said that though. LOL I would have done exactly what you did. 

 

I figured going in that they would ask me that and thought I had a better response prepared but I guess I just naturally went into defense mode and didn't word anything the way I would have preferred to.  (I hate how I do that and then obsess over it after the fact).  My daughter and I have both been miserable for quite some time now.  I suppose they see it as "all of a sudden" but for us we HAVE been trying to let her finish and just couldn't do it for another 6 weeks.  

[HeWillSoar]

I was so nervous when I withdrew my kids at the beginning of the school year.  It felt like such a monumental decision, and there was still the unknown of whether I could pull it off!  And it just seemed so final.  My son's 5th grade teacher was so nice, and I think that she may have felt as though it was something she had done, so I explained to her that it was because of other reasons.  We haven't looked back, and my kids are doing great!  

 

I don't think your daughter will miss anything by missing those last few weeks of school.   Good for you for doing what you think is right for her!!!

[FLMomRN]

There are truly no words to express how grateful I am for all your responses.  What an awesome group!  :wub:

 

Yesterday afternoon I took DD and my 12-year-old son to the newer/bigger county library across town.  My husband and I ran inside once to look something up but we haven't brought the kids to that one yet and really looked around.  It was amazing!  I'm sure it cost a pretty penny with our tax dollars but they really went all out.  DD played with some other kids her age for an hour or so.  I almost didn't even think to look since we were there for the kids but I found a huge section homeschooling.  I checked out TWTM and one called "The First Year of Homeschooling Your Child" by Linda Dobson.  (Beth in Mint Hill, I didn't see your suggestion until I got home but I will definitely read "For the Children's Sake" as well.  Thanks!)  They let us check out 20 books per card there.  Crazy!  (I was expecting them to say 3 or so).  I don't remember what the limit is at our small, local library but it sure isn't 20.  DD ended up with 10 books and last night we read about how rainbows are formed and she read me one of the fiction books she chose.

 

She woke up at 8:00 today.  I *was* feeling better until I unpacked her backpack from yesterday.  Her teacher had been making this beautiful memory book for the year.  She had the children draw a self-portrait each month and put it in there.  It had photos from all the "special days" like Dr. Suess Day, western day, Q and U's wedding, pajama day, etc., plus photos from each field trip and some random art selections.  It broke my heart that she won't be finishing her book with photos from their final field trip to the zoo, field day, and their last day of school party.  I am completely confident that homeschooling will be best for her but I still hate this feeling that I took something away from her.  She would have LOVED field day.  She loves to run and is super fast.  She always beat the other kids in her class at racing so she started a "speed team" to help the other kids learn to run faster.  (Ugh...and now I'm in tears again as I type this).  On the plus side, no one stole food off her tray at lunch, no one hit her, and no one told her that "girls are weak" today (she actually came home and wrote & illustrated book about that one).  She has three big/tough brothers and had NEVER been told that girls are weak until she started KG.   :mad:

 

She's mostly been working on crafts today and I did let her have some computer time.  She picked up Minecraft from her older brothers and builds the most amazing worlds in there.  My phone alarm went off at 1:40 to remind me it's time to pick her up from school (which takes an hour out of each day with drive time and waiting in the pick-up line).  She was painting when the alarm went off.   :)  That part was definitely nice.  

 

I also plan to sign her up for gymnastics this week and we have free tickets to the local children's museum.  

 

I have done a ton of research on curriculum and I think I've settled on most of it but we weren't planning to start that until August so for now we just plan to take your advice and relax, read, & do whatever interests her for now, which seems to mostly be art & science.  

[BusyMom5]

Hugs!  I think you did the right thing!  Kindergarten has changed dramatically since your 6th grader was there!  I have a 6th grader, 4th grader, and 1st grader.  Last year all were in PS, and the difference in Kindergarten in the 3 years since the last child was there was HUGE!  LIke 80+ site words, really pushing reading and writing.  My kids are smart, and they had no problem learning what was presented, but the amount of work they wanted from 5-6 year olds was just ridiculous!  Then they would send home homework! UGH!  I was always one of 'those' moms- the kind who wanted all of my kids' homework to be completed, read to them daily, ect., and by the end of last year I just stopped.  I did let them finish the year out, but I don't think it matters if you don't.  I wouldn't even add anything at this point.  Read to her daily for the next 6 weeks, and call that school!  This homeschooling experiment has gone great!  I am so glad we made the switch!  It's so much nicer to work with your child for short bursts thru the day, when they are in a good mood for learning- nothing like doing homework at 4-5, when the child is tired and just needs a break.  Best of luck! 

[FLMomRN]

If you are in Florida like your name says, I encourage you to strongly consider going to the Florida parent educators conference. It takes place in May in Orlando. I believe there'll be different talks about starting homeschooling, not to mention lots of curriculum you can at least browse through. They also have a science camp for the kids for two of the days. Feel free to PM me as well. We may be in the same state and if I live anywhere close to you we could meet up.

 

I am in Florida but I'm in the panhandle so it's about a 6 hour drive for me and my work schedule is already final for May.  I'll have to plan for it next year for sure.  :)  

[mom2scouts]

There's no reason you can't finish out her K memory book!  Take her on a field trip to the zoo and have an end of the school year party.  If you can get plugged into some local homeschool groups, you might find that someone has organized a homeschool field day too.

[Kharisma]

Stealing a poor Ker's recess over a work sheet! Oh my that is so sad. You definitely did what was best for your family. Hugs and Dairy Queen is definitely in order. 

 

[cintinative]

Everyone else said it so well so I don't have to say it again.

 

Ultimately your mommy gut told you this was the best course. We really need to trust ourselves more with these things.  I prayed through the grief of mine for a long time before I became convicted it was right.  When I pulled my oldest out, it was because in almost every way we had been pushed in that direction.  We could not deny that it was not for his best to keep him in the school. You may not have that as specifically as we did, but as others have mentioned, the level of work you are describing is developmentally inappropriate. She needs time to be a kid!  To play! To explore!  Remind yourself  of this when you have self-doubt. You can cover all the essentials in only a couple hours when you begin anew and just think of the joy it will bring you to see she once again has time to be a child.

[SanDiegoMom]

I pulled my twins out after second grade. It was a beautiful, loving school with great kids and caring teachers and if we hadn't moved, my decision would have been much harder. But even while they were there (and I was extremely active volunteering and in the PTA) I was researching homeschooling and feeling like we could be doing MORE. Those parties, special events, memory books- I was there for them and they were never as great as we make them out to be. The parties were short and crammed between lunchtime and recess and were very structured. The projects they did were structured. The art lessons were structured. Nothing at all allowed for student collaboration and any deviance from the plan was not allowed. Field trips were less about learning and OFTEN involved meltdowns. Our homeschooling field trips have been much more learning centered and they've gotten much more out of them. It is hard to let go of the "Public School Milestones" - class pictures, class concerts, class parties...and I know the kids miss their friends. But they have time to pursue their own passions, they are realizing that they do actually have a say in their own education, and they have learned so darn much this year. And finally have enough sleep!

[fairfarmhand]

Call around to the nearby homeschooling groups and see if they offer a field day. Ours does and it's really not too late to join for most places.

 

Let her finish her little booklet on her own terms.

 

 

[VeteranMom]

I pulled my daughter out about 6 weeks before the end of her 2nd grade school year.  I felt so upset.  I think it was just a mixture of feelings.  Doubt and fear were certainly present.  Once you get on track, you will likely find that you and your dd enjoy your new lifestyle.      

[Renai]

I remember pulling my oldest out in 3rd grade. Our situation was different, because I had been homeschooling up to that point - it was the end of January when I put her in. I was well-acquainted with the school, tutored there, knew her teacher, knew the administration. So, I also had a lot of mixed feelings when I pulled her out after a month in. But, I knew it was the best for her, I let the teacher know it had nothing to do with her, we even had similar teaching styles. It just wasn't working out. My dh hadn't wanted me to put her in to begin with (he'd come up with any excuse to keep her home on any day), so we were also in agreement to pull her.

 

 Read, let her read whatever is in here interests, take trips, relax. Kindergarten is not a 7 hour a day endeavor, it is a time to enjoy learning how to learn.

 

You two will have fun!