This is us, too.

Years ago, a counselor once told me that he had a personal rule never to give unsolicited advice. I puzzled over that a while (thinking if anyone could advise well, it'd be a professional counselor!) but as I have grown older, I see the wisdom of it.

It is disappointing when people aren't excited for a new baby, and I'm sorry your family isn't supportive right now. But, give them time... pretty much everyone finds babies irresistible, and no one is so grinchy as to wish a baby away once they've arrived! My family was *very* opposed to our reproductive habits (husband's family doesn't care, like, literally, doesn't care about us at all, so that's another issue). They came around. Kind of like with homeschooling! They were very skeptical at first. Now, they are supportive. Also, sometimes you just don't know what is motivating someone's wet-blanket approach. For years my mother would go on and on about how children in large (more than 2 in her mind) families were ignored, stressed, unfairly put-upon, deprived, etc... it wasn't too long ago that I found out that she struggled with secondary infertility for years and had wanted more children. Her bluster was a cover for the pain she felt at not being able to have children she wanted.

Absolutely love Beatrice! Do it! :)

In addition to the 5 I already had, I birthed 4 more children in the years between 37 and 42. I am probably not the person to ask :)

We are also in AAS 3 with my young 3rd grader, actually we just did the lesson on suffixes last week. :) How many days are you working on a lesson? I ask because, especially since we got into level 3, we are spending probably 4-6 days per lesson. Day 1, I teach the lesson, sometimes reteach on day 2. Days 3-? I give the spelling words and sentences by dictation usually 8-10 words and 3-4 sentences. If dd misspells something, that word is reinforced by 1: discussing what went wrong, 2: rewriting it 3x on the spot, and 2: including it in the dictation the next day. I think if I were you, I'd let the older child move on and go back to where your younger child is confident. Then, I'd continue on, slowly, spending more time than is probably necessary building the foundation. One thing about AAS/AAR is, sometimes the lesson is over before the dc has mastered the material. In those cases, I just park there for a few days and practice, practice, practice until the material is mastered. I'm not sure if that's The Official Way, but it's the way that's working best for us! :) ETA: One other thing, if it makes you feel any better, we finished AAS 2 last year for 2nd grade. Her ITBS test scores were fantastic for spelling. You won't be 'behind' at all if you drop back with your 2nd grader!

One more vote for CLE LA/IEW writing combo! This has been a big hit here with my 3rd grader.

That makes so much sense now :) Thank you for explaining.

Interesting. My take on the thread was that many, particularly those with high IQs, were chiming in to say, "These are the kinds of expectations we felt, and frankly those expectations were often painful or actually de-motivating. Please consider this possibility as your proceed with your child." I was surprised by the number of voices coming from that side of that coin, because I had half-expected the vast majority of the posts to be filled with hearty congratulations and laundry lists of resources for gifted children.

I've been following this thread with interest. I have a few thoughts... 1 - My father has lost over half his body weight. He is nearly 70 years old. He was going blind due to diabetes -- this kickstarted him into action. No more processed carbs, no added sugar. Lots of lean protein and veggies. 2 - I am pretty convinced that sugar/processed carbs are like a drug to my body. If I eat a donut or bowl of cereal for breakfast, for example, I will find myself almost unconsciously prowling for more within a few hours. It's like a switch has been turned on and I act like an addict. I can rarely reason myself out of eating more. I really want NOT to reach for more, and honestly I know there has to be a way not to do it, but I really do feel a compulsion to eat more. 3 - Oddly, after the birth of my last baby, I had some bizarre metabolic switch. I lost over 50 pounds in about 3 months. I absolutely could not eat. I would often feel shaky and weak, but the thought of food made me nauseous. I have no idea what happened there, other than I'd love for it to come back! Ha! I definitely needed to lose that weight. I could stand to lose 25 more, but... So much did I NOT want to reduce intake of sugar/carbs that I cut my calorie intake down to 1200 for the last six months, tracking with My Fitness Pal. I lost exactly zero pounds. I started working out (P90X3). 3 more months and I still lost nothing. I am continuing to work out daily, but I'm now switching to low carb/high protein/high healthy-fats, monitoring my macros. I feel better. My skin is smoother, my digestion has improved, and although I'm the same size, my body looks younger. I'm eating 1600-1800 calories a day. I am moving more, thanks to the FitBit. I have a very young (20 years younger than I am) friend with whom I compete on the FitBit. She logs probably 2,000 more steps a day than I do. Perhaps, over time, that equals less weight. I wish I could say that I'm 100% past caring. I'm beginning to see glimmers of that attitude. I need to own up to the fact that I'm not 22 anymore. I want to be healthy, not obsess over the scale or a certain pants size. I want to be active and fit into my 50s and 60s, so I can finally (!!!!) travel, go on a day's hike, water ski, whatever -- do the things I want to do. And, I am tired of letting that number define how I feel about myself. I am tired of having a good day because the scale is down and tired of having a bad day because the scale is up. I am smack in the middle of my highest and lowest weight. No doubt my 'set point' has changed. It is what it is. I really want to think about my goal being health, not some number on the scale.

I am gifted, as are a handful of my kiddos, though not all. Please, please don't change the way you look at your daughter because of this test. It's just a number. 145 or 85, she's your child, and she needs your love and unconditional acceptance. The sense that I *should* be doing amazing things has always been there, particularly from my mother. My intelligence itself was a source of pride, but even moreso was this sense that I would do something really impressive. With those kinds of expectations comes disappointment now that I am 'just' a Mom and 'just' a homeschooler. My father is probably smarter than I am (though it pains me to say that!) and he was never impressed with my intelligence per se. He was always far more interested in whether I was growing into a decent person. And really, that is the first priority, regardless of intelligence! With all my kids, I make a concerted effort to praise hard work, kindness, and perseverance rather than innate abilities (you're a fast runner, you're so smart, etc.) I don't care how smart you are -- if you don't use it, with love for others, and in the face of difficulty, it will make absolutely no difference. If your daughter is happy and thriving where she is, I'd more or less let things be. Perhaps knowing what you do now you could simply ask if she is interested in pursuing certain subjects, or you might offer some opportunities in areas she isn't exploring now. I've generally found it's impossible to hold my gifted kids back from learning things that interest them. If she's exhausted what you have at home, simply providing new books, videos, and opportunities keyed into her areas of interest will feed the fire. Most of all, enjoy her as a person, not as a "gifted" person. Good luck!

Statements like this would definitely stop a normal person in their tracks. I hope Sparkly's MIL is a decent person who is just thoughtlessly unkind. Those people are out there and perhaps she could be snapped back to right thinking by being confronted with just how ugly her words can be. Unfortunately, however, in my experience, these techniques are ineffective against a truly cruel person. There is no way to win against a person who has no rules. They believe that they are incapable of doing wrong. They have no sense of shame, and they are not affected by being told they have hurt you, have hurt your children, have hurt your husband, have acted rudely, are out of line, have no right to behave as they do, or anything else you can think up. Telling them they are rude or cruel or abusive is simply YOU abusing THEM. Or, they will certainly have no problem accusing you of 'misinterpreting' their actions, which were only meant to convey concern, love, a desire to be together, etc. Or, they conveniently 'forget' hurtful things they said and gaslight you, "I would never say that, why do you make up ugly stories about me? I open my house to you and you accuse ME of things like that?! All I've ever tired to do is love you." I could give many more examples, sadly. Hopefully I am projecting too much of my own experience on Sparkly's situation. :)

My 5th grader's day looks like... 2.5h Morning Time 1h working with me (math & reading) 3h independent work (grammar, writing, vocab, reading, piano) He is an early riser -- usually starts at 6:30 and is done by 2:30, including an hour off at lunch and half an hour break.

A few thoughts from someone whose MIL is crazy mean... 1- you cannot change your husband's way of dealing with her 2- you cannot control your MIL by being nice, or mean, or direct, or withdrawn, or any other way. She doesn't care about you, so your feelings or responses are irrelevant except insofar as they allow her to manipulate others through them. 3- you can only control your response to the situation I did the go along to get along thing for years and finally, when she began manipulating my children, I drew the line. I refused to present myself or the children to her for abuse. I support my husband in having whatever kind of relationship he wants with her. He has a very, "yes, she's mean and cruel and abusive, but, well, that's just how she is" attitude about anything she does. He agrees that it's awful, he just feels powerless, I think, and obligated. Regardless, if your MIL is in another country, she has to be a fairly peripheral figure. I might just smile and nod and suddenly have an upset stomach very soon after dinner, or jet lag, or traveler's virus of unknown etiology. But if you are ready to say no, well, you're not alone. :)

I'd give it a C (and I'm a pretty big Walking Dead fan!); we were totally underwhelmed. I didn't like the drugs/family trauma/good kid-bad kid/blah blah blah/don't know, don't care. The writing was stilted and awkward, the acting was uninteresting, and honestly it looked like any other unremarkable mildly suspenseful drama on TV. Wouldn't've given it a second thought if it weren't "Walking Dead." The only interesting moments were the zombie on the interstate and the drug-dealer zombie in the tunnel. And, that's not a recommendation because really, I don't watch Walking Dead for the zombies! The thing about Walking Dead, and the ONLY reason I watched it at all was, from the very beginning it was unlike anything else on TV. The pilot was absolutely incredible. This episode just totally lacked the Walking Dead feel. But of course we'll continue watching. :)