SKL Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 I do it all the time. OK, not "all the time," ahem .... So what are some things you say that, if taken literally, would be way not true? I'll start. I often tell my kids I'm going to beat them. I sing about beatings and how fun they are. My mom used to do this when I was a kid, so I guess that's where I got the idea. My kids get it - they will even ask for a beating sometimes. And to avoid confusion, if I'm really going to use corporal punishment, I say "spank" instead of "beat." I have lots of other examples, but what about you guys? Any that are unique to your family or community? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyJoy Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 I say 8 billion frequently. It is rarely because I'm having a scholarly conversation about the estimated world population in 2025. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 I say zillion a lot. I used to scoop up my eldest when he was a tot and swing it up high, and laughingly tell him I was going to sell him to the gypsies. Yeah, real PC... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 A lot of my hyperbole involves the different shades of insanity to which I am being driven by everything from languishing laundry baskets to unrinsed dishes. I mostly see clutter and moderate levels of dirt as much worse than they are. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PineFarmMom Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 I do it all the time. OK, not "all the time," ahem .... So what are some things you say that, if taken literally, would be way not true? I'll start. I often tell my kids I'm going to beat them. I sing about beatings and how fun they are. My mom used to do this when I was a kid, so I guess that's where I got the idea. My kids get it - they will even ask for a beating sometimes. And to avoid confusion, if I'm really going to use corporal punishment, I say "spank" instead of "beat." I have lots of other examples, but what about you guys? Any that are unique to your family or community? I actually joke about the same things. We do use hyperbole, a lot but never enough. Hyperbole is like the best thing EVER!!! 😠1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 It was recently pointed out to me that 10,000 is my magic number. I have ten thousand things to do. I can't listen to ten thousand of you talking at once. I just picked up ten thousand groceries! I try to talk on the phone and you interrupt me ten thousand times. I've had to pee, like, ten thousand times today! ETA: Oh, and "Don't make me beat you" is also heard quite often. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I love hyperbole and use it at least 99,000 times a day! :) P.S. When I exaggerate, I use numbers with 9 because for some reason they make me happy. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I used to exaggerate a lot, but when I got more serious about my faith when I was about 20, someone from church pointed out that exaggeration was tantamount to lying. Sometimes I still exaggerate, but then I feel guilty and clarify, "I'm exaggerating of course," which I think is more irritating to people than figuring out it on their own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I love hyperbole and use it at least 99,000 times a day! :) P.S. When I exaggerate, I use numbers with 9 because for some reason they make me happy. Me, too. I say, "nine thousand china dishes to wash" and, "9 million years from now," and, "for the Nine Billionth Time..." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Without hyperbole, there'd be no reason to speak. :) 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I never use hyperbole. :lol: :lol: 47 is my go to number. 47,000 47 million, whatever works. Contrary to my statements, I have never actually lost my head, nothing really takes me forever to get done, and I do have clothes to wear. I do stand by the statement that I would be happier if I never had to deal with snow again. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I use "dumber than a rock" or "dumber than dirt" a lot (particularly when discussing political figures!) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I use hyperboles all the time. I also am Dyslexic and use the wrong word as well, making my conversations... comfusing. it is only when people are looking at me in wonder that I realize I am not making any sense at all. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purpleowl Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 It is probably likely that, even if the noise continued, my head would not truly explode. (I don't like to risk it, though, just in case.) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 It is probably likely that, even if the noise continued, my head would not truly explode. (I don't like to risk it, though, just in case.)Mine just might explode soon here, from pain not noise. My go to number is eleventy-seven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Hyperbole is my middle name. Here, look at my blog--the most recent post is chock full of hyperbole. In fact, they're all full of hyperbole. That's the whole point of the blog: https://dustylizard.wordpress.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I prefer my hyperbole in combination with pop culture phrases, i.e. "he was the hottiest hotty that ever hottied" (totes magotes). I have to get proper phrasing from dd16. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I sing about beatings and tease the kids that way too. My kids would ask for beatings which meant chasing them around the house and tickling them. It was all fun and games until my youngest piped up (very loudly of course) at preschool that his mommy gave him lots of beatings. There were audible gasps from the adults until it was explained and they saw he was grinning over it. Since then I have tried to be a little more careful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 For the LOVE of all things good and holy... If you _____ one more time, I'm going to eat you! (I confess. I threaten to digest my offspring.) If I have to ______ one more _____, I'm going to explode (after sweeping the floor) I could feed another dozen kids with these "crumbs." The decibel level has reached 8,000. Bring it back down to earth please. You are KILLING ME!!!! (in response to whining about having to take a shower, etc...) It would be fun to exchange my hyperbole for direct, blunt honesty. "I could feed this to you for breakfast." (after sweeping the floor) :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I talk about my "12 children" a lot. Hyperbole is one of the lit terms I drill into the co op class I teach. Literal is so passé. ;) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Said to way too many of my patients through the years, usually after the witching hour (or bar closing time - whichever is last) has passed & my internal censor has turned off "Dude (it's almost always a guy), you're so drunk that I'm gonna fail the breathalyzer!" Ambulances are fairly tight spaces... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Hyperbole is my middle name. My boys roll their eyes when I threaten to duct tape them to the wall, and they laugh at me when I say I am going to sell them and buy a nice quiet goldfish. No one has actually stuck to the kitchen floor, even though it is not always spotless. I think I really could collect enough dog hair to knit a whole new dog, except I can't knit, so we'll never know if that's hyperbole or not. My favorite number is a bajillion, as in, "I have told you a bajillion times....!" My head will probably not really shoot clean off my shoulders and land on the moon if they do not be quiet right NOW. Probably not. Then again, it might. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Oddly, I'm more likely to engage in understatement. "I may have mentioned this once or twice..." (Translation: I know for a fact that I have told you to pick up your laundry at least five times today, and you were SUPPOSED to do it yesterday before bed, so hop to it!) "It's a little chilly out right now, guys." (Translation: It is about 5F outside, and I expect you to be wearing layers. Lots of layers. This is the coldest February in 80 years.) "I think we should move to the next car" (Translation: How stupid do you think I am? It's an empty train car during rush hour. IT SMELLS LIKE DEATH. AND PEE. I wouldn't sit there if I had to wait a million years for the next train.) "Okay, so this isn't the healthiest dinner I've ever given you" (Translation: You're literally eating jello and potato chips, and I'm pretty sure you made the jello and opened the chip bags yourselves. Could you maybe eat an apple?) "Sweetie, do you think you should comb your hair? It's a little messy." (Translation: It's a linty tangled mess, and if you expect ME to do the combing you'd darn well better not whine when it hurts, because it WILL hurt. Now that I think about it, you haven't combed it in four days. Geez.) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I use a glorious mixture of understatement and hyperbole. I also threaten to staple my children to the ceiling by their toenails, or beat them with a damp haddock (I've never even seen a haddock - do we get them in New Zealand??) My go to is eleventy billion, but nine hundred and sixty four billion also makes it in there quite often. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 4, 2015 Author Share Posted March 4, 2015 I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who threatens and jokes about beatings and torture. I was a little afraid someone was going to take me to task for that. :P I enjoy understatement as well. Basically it's fun to play around with language. The only problem is that not everyone always gets me. Including my kids - if they are very stressed out, they will act like I really meant it. But I think they are just messing with me. And recently an a friend, who was in a bad mood, pointed out that 1,000 was an exaggeration. I thought everyone knew that 1,000 is a synonym for "too many." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I tell the kids that if they don't settle down (in the house) that I'm going to duct tape them to the ceiling. I'm pretty sure it's hyperbole, because duct tape is like, $6 a roll, and the older one is 6'8", so I'm not sure my budget could survive securing him up there. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 My hyperbole usually comes in the form of large numbers. And I'm often exact with them. I told you 741 times! If I reach 742 you better watch out! Also, not hyperbole but an old-time dadsim (and sometimes momism): If you don't cut it out right now I'm going to turn this car around and go home. Usually said when we're actually at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I say 8 billion frequently. It is rarely because I'm having a scholarly conversation about the estimated world population in 2025. MIne is 50,000. Maybe I need to up the ante. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I use "dumber than a rock" or "dumber than dirt" a lot (particularly when discussing political figures!) I often say "older than dirt" or "older than God". It's usually used to self-deprecate, since I'm the oldest in my group of friends. So it will often be, "Well, we all know I'm older than dirt but...". I think I really could collect enough dog hair to knit a whole new dog, except I can't knit, so we'll never know if that's hyperbole or not. I have always said I could make a dog out of the hair that comes off our Sheltie. One day several years ago when ds was brushing him, he put the hair that came off the dog on the floor and shaped it like a dog. It looked more like a Scottie than a Sheltie but we took a picture as "proof" that we could make a whole 'nother dog from the hair he sheds. Oddly, I'm more likely to engage in understatement. "It's a little chilly out right now, guys." (Translation: It is about 5F outside, and I expect you to be wearing layers. Lots of layers. This is the coldest February in 80 years.) Dh does this, but since we live in Florida his version refers to the heat. "It's kind of warm out today" means it's 97 degrees with 92% humidity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I tend to be loud and hyperbolic. My whole family is. The expression I got from my parents that I use with my kids and causes the most hairy eyeball looks is "If you don't stop I'm going to rip off your arm and beat you with the bloody stump." My kids know this means cool it but others seem to think I'm Mommy Dearest :lol: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Said to way too many of my patients through the years, usually after the witching hour (or bar closing time - whichever is last) has passed & my internal censor has turned off "Dude (it's almost always a guy), you're so drunk that I'm gonna fail the breathalyzer!" Ambulances are fairly tight spaces... ...and yet, when you ask how many drinks they have had, the answer is always "two!" :zombie: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Library Momma Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I tell my dog that I am selling her to the sausage factory every time she gets into mischief Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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