Do you serve dinner (supper) in sequential courses?

[Ginevra]

I am reading the book Home Comforts and am surprised at a LOT of what the author says about family meals. I already thought we were somewhat unusual for Americans in this century because we almost always have real, home-cooked dinners, with all or most family members, in the dining room. But now the author is talking about serving courses and I'm somewhat agog. Courses? For family meals?

 

There are other things that puzzle me here (i.e., we always load our plates buffet-style; i use tablecloths but I couldn't care less which one it is unless we have dinner guests, etc.), but dinner courses as a regular occurrence is quite foreign to me. Do people do this?

[Tsuga]

I have never met anybody in real life who did that on any day other than Christmas or Thanksgiving or a very special occasion, such as a date in which one person cooks for the other person. And I know a lot of people who cook frequently and put a lot of emphasis on food, myself among them. At least five nights a week we eat home-cooked or home-prepared dinners in the dining room but no, no courses, are you kidding?

 

Occasionally we will serve salad first but that is only if the children are "starving" and we haven't finished the main course. It is entirely incidental and only because meat almost never cooks faster than veggies.

 

We only have a tablecloth for guests, LOL! We use napkins and my MIL thinks I am very fancy for cloth napkins. To me it is just economical. You wash them with the laundry. But to her it's fancy, which is funny because I'd say we are of the same social class.

[JudoMom]

I am reading the book Home Comforts and am surprised at a LOT of what the author says about family meals. I already thought we were somewhat unusual for Americans in this century because we almost always have real, home-cooked dinners, with all or most family members, in the dining room. But now the author is talking about serving courses and I'm somewhat agog. Courses? For family meals?

 

There are other things that puzzle me here (i.e., we always load our plates buffet-style; i use tablecloths but I couldn't care less which one it is unless we have dinner guests, etc.), but dinner courses as a regular occurrence is quite foreign to me. Do people do this?

:lol:

 

Uh, no. :D

[itsheresomewhere]

I know a lot of people like that book but I found it to be comical and not into a normal family.  We don't do courses here but we have regular meals.  

 

 

[Guest]

We cook it, set it on top of the stove (or leave inside it if it needs to stay warm), and everyone serves themselves.

[creekland]

We never have courses.

 

My ILs - the ones who used to serve fancy dinners on china when they were in their prime - only served dessert separately.

[Susan in TN]

Nope. I'm still trying to get my family to pass food around the table.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Not on a regular basis no.  I love to cook and I do sometimes go all out with courses, but no not all the time.  Actually most of the time we don't even eat altogether because everyone has different schedules.  I often have to make dinner in the morning or in the afternoon and then people help themselves when they get to it.

 

 

[Um_2_4]

IF I make courses, then yes I serve in courses (usually soup first). We like our salad with the meal. But I do not usually make 5 courses. Soup, salad and main meal, then dessert if any. I only serve family style (in serving dishes at the table) if we have company. Otherwise I plate and serve. 

With company i always serve soup first, then main dishes. Clear table then tea/coffee/dessert. (and by company I don't mean formal occasions, I mean anyone other than immediate family. I realized some might be thinking dinner party. More often than not it is just DH's friend who stopped by.)

[Guest]

This is funny. We use cloth napkins, too, but what's funny is that sometimes when we have guests, I have paper napkins in the offing. Some guests (especially teens) are quite baffled by cloth napkins! :D

[redsquirrel]

I own that book, and honestly, I doubt the author serves courses either.

 

And not only do I not serve courses. I don't really make 'side dishes' either. I make a thing and we eat the thing. If I get fancy there might be some steamed broccoli or baby carrots on the side, lol. But we don't eat meat, so our plates aren't a piece of meat and a thing next to it. That changes what a meal looks like. And we never get to eat together so what would be the point?

 

And who wants to eat all that food? Courses? I would be stuffed after the first.

 

Heck, right now, ds2 has eaten a dinner of oatmeal and was taken to TKD by dh who hasn't had dinner yet. They will get back at around 8pm. Ds1 is at ballet and will be until 7pm and he will reheat the oatmeal then. DH and I might have scrambled eggs and salsa for dinner after the kids are in bed.

 

That is a typical weeknight for us, so no, no courses, lol.

[Joyofsixreboot]

Well we eat cooked from scratch meals with a table cloth but no courses. I don't believe I've ever had courses except in a restaurant. Oh, wait, I make them wait to the end to get a home baked cookie or two and they are in the jar on the counter. Does that count? We eat dinner very early before we leave about 6:00 for whatever evening activity we have. A leisurely hour long meal just can't happen. I trade leisurely for family and home prepared.

[marbel]

I've never done courses for a family meal.  I don't think I typically do courses for a meal with guests either. 

 

I do serve at the table most of the time, but sometimes that means putting the dutch oven of stew on the table for people to help themselves.  If we have salad, it's eaten after the main food, or with it.  If we are having a celebration meal we clear up before we bring out dessert.  But most of the time if we have dessert everyone fends for themselves.

 

Cloth napkins - I go back and forth on this.  I do prefer cloth but had to get over the notion that everything had to match or at least coordinate.  But people often make comments about how "fancy" cloth napkins are.  I am not talking about fine linen napkins, just cotton and with no special hemstitching.  One Thanksgiving when we were having a crowd I made 25 napkins.  They are pretty frayed now, most of them, but I still use them. They are big and much more useful than paper.  (Also 2 layers of fabric so they will absorb a spill.)

[Seasider]

No, because it disrupts time at the table. Unless you have servants a la Downton Abbey, someone has to step away from the table, thus the fellowship, to serve subsequent courses.

[Jane in NC]

Once in a great while we might have a light soup before something else, but usually if soup is part of dinner it is served with the sandwich or whatever.

 

Similarly we might have an appetizer before dinner on a weekend--but again that is a rare event.

 

I do like to place bowls or platters with food on the table as opposed to leaving food on the stove, but that too depends.  Tonight we are having stuffed chicken breasts that I'll place directly on plates.  Roasted roots will be in a serving bowl.  Cornmeal muffins are already on a plate sitting on the table. 

 

We usually eat salad after our entree--we just place it on our dinner plates.

 

Cloth napkins, always.  Tablecloths for special events.

[J-rap]

Haha!  No.

[LucyStoner]

We kinda do for certain meals. Weeknight meals tend to be one thing, if not even just one dish, but pre dinner I set out food on the table which you could say was a fruit or salad course if I wanted to put on airs about it. For bigger meals though, it's not uncommon for me to serve 2-3 different things sequentially. This is largely a function of having a very small table. No way could we fit a bowl and two plates each onto our table for 4-7 people. We also often serve dessert with cheese and coffee. We are pretty casual people but yes, we have cloth napkins and dinner at the table and little family meal traditions.

[redsquirrel]

I always use cloth napkins, we have a huge bucket of them. But people just grab what they want.  Tablecloth? No. I don't get the point of them. One more thing to wash.

 

I know for a fact that my kids have zero idea how to 'set' a table or would even know that that means, lol.  Oh well.

[cjzimmer1]

We most certainly do have courses.  You know when the children are starving and the meat isn't done, they eat the bread first because that was usually finished before I started the rest of the meal.  Then they eat their veggies because that's usually the next thing that is ready, then they usually hover around hoping the meat is done.  If I timed it well they can eat meat after the first two courses, if my timing is off well then they can repeat the first two courses.  Somewhere in there I will serve a second starch side but the timing is dependent on when it finishes cooking.  So yeah, we can have anywhere between 4-6 courses for a regular meal.

 

 

In seriousness, we always eat salads before the meal.  I find it logistically easier to get the bowls off the table before we bring out the plates of food.  But since we frequently eat casserole type meals, there really isn't much to serve in different courses (and we almost never have dessert)

 

 

[LucyStoner]

Also, that book is an exhaustively detailed description of how people can do things. Not a prescription that everyone should. She was a working mother with a son when she wrote that book. I doubt her meals looked that much different from yours Quill. She must be an empty nester by now.

[momacacia]

No, I don't do this.

 

The staff does.

[texasmama]

I don't do courses.  In fact, I thought I was really going all out when I busted out some placemats recently.

[texasmama]

I don't set the table, either.  I pile food on a plate for each kid and myself and stick a utensil on the plate.  Dh gets his own.  I have one kid who prefers to sit on the couch and eat (but doesn't do that during family dinners).  Dh has a habit of standing in the kitchen and grazing over pots until he is full.

 

We are one step short of barbarians here.  I am suddenly ashamed.

[Jean in Newcastle]

The only times I ever have courses are the rare times that I actually make dessert.  

[Kerileanne99]

I guess it depends upon how you look at it. We always have a salad or veggie tray first, and that happens to be on the table before dinner. Sometimes I might even make an appetizer to munch on, but it tends to end up acting as more of a side dish. We eat at the table most nights with food in serving bowls. Cloth napkins but no table cloth except for special occasions because I am anal about wrinkles but cannot be bothered to iron one. Dessert, if we do one, is usually fruit or non-dairy ice cream, or just a small piece of dark chocolate for hubby and kiddo. It comes out after dinner because otherwise I would have to listen to whines and begging about it before dinner was done:)

 

Of course, dd5 is having her dinner in courses this evening: I am miserably pregnant and daddy made an executive decision to take an overly hungry dd through the McDonald's drive thru for French fries after gymnastics...she will have fruit and veggie nuggets when they get home, lol. Does that count?

[Annie G]

Sometimes we have salad first, but not often.  

 

We use bandanas as napkins. Super soft, super cheap, and easy to wash. They're folded up and sit right beside the holder for the paper napkins, which is what we use for guests because people who don't  use cloth napkins seem put off by using other people's napkins. Which is weird because they do that at restaurants!!

[Melissa in Australia]

yes, sort of. I plate and serve. Then when the main meal is finished I plate and serve desert.

 

 

 

 I don't do tablecloths as I have too many people spilling food and I would have to wash it after every meal. As I have limited water I cannot do this. I tried having a plastic cover over the tablecloth, but Dh has Multiple Chemical Sensitivities and the plastic off gasses and sets him off. SO we just have the bear wood. I don't do napkins. not many people do in Australia

[Guest]

No, because it disrupts time at the table. Unless you have servants a la Downton Abbey, someone has to step away from the table, thus the fellowship, to serve subsequent courses.

This is what I was thinking - how does the cook ever get to come enjoy the meal?

[texasmama]

I read that as bananas. I was trying to think how that was possible. 

Nutrious since they are so good for you. An interesting way to start a meal. Eat a banana. Then you use the peel as a napkin. ????

<Snort>

 

Sounds sticky.

[Guest]

I don't do courses. In fact, I thought I was really going all out when I busted out some placemats recently.

We actually have placemats routinely. But, unlike she says in the book, this is over top of the tablecloth. That way someone's butter-laden knife (or whatever) doesn't mess up the whole tablecloth.

 

I wouldn't use a tablecloth at all if our table was a casual, rugged type, but it's a formal table.

[Plink]

Home cooked  - everyday

Everyone at the table - everyday

tablecloth - everyday

table set properly - everyday

cloth napkins - everyday

 

Courses???  Nope.  Not unless we are having company - and in that case I only serve three: apps & drinks (never served seated), main meal, coffee and dessert.  That's it.

[Guest]

I almost always start with a veggie tray, sometimes a salad. ....

 

Mind you that is also were I usually end.

 

But it's a HUGE veggie tray. (My Dh says that I don't cook, I just prepare)

Even in a restaurant, I'm not interested in appetizers very often, unless the appetizer *IS* my meal. Portions are most often so gigantic here. If I already ate some shrimp kebobs or whatever, I can barely make a dent in the entrée.

[Pawz4me]

We don't do courses.

We use paper napkins.

We do have some cloth napkins.  Somewhere.

We don't do tablecloths.

[Cinder]

Do people do this?

 

Not us--no courses. No tablecloths either. Some of us like having salad at the end of the meal--when we have salad. Mostly we serve up dishes in the kitchen and put the salad bowl in the middle of the table so each can serve his/her own. Separate salad bowls, of course.

 

Mil used to use tablecloths and placemats and even cloth napkins. But even she didn't serve courses.

 

[SamanthaCarter]

Who wants to get up and down from the table that often??

[SparklyUnicorn]

Although I find courses to be just too much food usually.  Unless you have very small amounts of each course. Then that becomes rather silly when only 3 people are eating it. 

 

My MIL likes to do courses.  After the soup I'm stuffed.  And her family eats seconds of the soup and continues on!

 

 

[clementine]

First of all, if we all get to sit at the table at the same time, it's a treat.  

 

Tonight, I ate dinner with one child before she left for her sport & my husband ate dinner with the other when she got home from her sport.  

 

If we have a night where we're all at home for dinner, all of the food is put on the counter buffet style or in the middle of the dining room table to pass around.  

 

Courses would take time away from conversation & I feel like it would double the dirty dishes.   :tongue_smilie:

[Mom22ns]

I sort-of do courses. We almost always have a salad with dinner and it is always the first thing on the table. Everyone who choses to eat salad, typically eats it first, before the main course. Then the main course, then sometimes dessert.

 

There is never a table cloth here, I can't even find one to fit my very wide table. We use paper napkins which sit on the table in a napkin holder all the time. We are very casual.

 

The courses aren't to be formal, I never even thought of them as courses before. We just eat salad first. I usually set salad and the main course on the table before sitting down myself, but if the main course isn't ready at our normal dinner time, we go ahead and start the salad and then I get up to get the main course. I always get up and get dessert when everyone is finished with dinner - if there is dessert.

 

Having a 3 course meal is a common occurrence here, but it isn't fancy, formal, or even thought of as eating in courses.

[Cinder]

I just remembered--the last time I regularly ate meals served in courses was in intermediate school. Private school, family-style dining for lunch--we sat at tables of 8 with 1 faculty member for every 2 tables. The faculty member traded off every other week with a kid at the other table. An 8th grader was the host, a 7th grader was the waiter. The waiters would go in the dining hall and set the tables. Then everyone was called in, grace was said, and lunch served. The host served the main dish, then person to his/her left served the starch, the next person served the vegetable. Plates were passed around and we had to say "Thank you" when we had been served enough. After a time the waiters would get up, clear the tables, and serve dessert. Then there were school announcements and lunch was dismissed. Everyone left except the waiters whose job it was to clear and wipe the tables and sweep the floor. Table assignments were changed every 6 weeks and we got just one turn at host and waiter. It was actually a lot of fun. I wonder if they still do it that way?

[SparklyUnicorn]

I just remembered--the last time I regularly ate meals served in courses was in intermediate school. Private school, family-style dining for lunch--we sat at tables of 8 with 1 faculty member for every 2 tables. The faculty member traded off every other week with a kid at the other table. An 8th grader was the host, a 7th grader was the waiter. The waiters would go in the dining hall and set the tables. Then everyone was called in, grace was said, and lunch served. The host served the main dish, then person to his/her left served the starch, the next person served the vegetable. Plates were passed around and we had to say "Thank you" when we had been served enough. After a time the waiters would get up, clear the tables, and serve dessert. Then there were school announcements and lunch was dismissed. Everyone left except the waiters whose job it was to clear and wipe the tables and sweep the floor. Table assignments were changed every 6 weeks and we got just one turn at host and waiter. It was actually a lot of fun. I wonder if they still do it that way?

 

That is pretty cool.

[Pam in CT]

Once in a great while we might have a light soup before something else, but usually if soup is part of dinner it is served with the sandwich or whatever.

 

Similarly we might have an appetizer before dinner on a weekend--but again that is a rare event.

 

I do like to place bowls or platters with food on the table as opposed to leaving food on the stove, but that too depends.  Tonight we are having stuffed chicken breasts that I'll place directly on plates.  Roasted roots will be in a serving bowl.  Cornmeal muffins are already on a plate sitting on the table. 

 

We usually eat salad after our entree--we just place it on our dinner plates.

 

Cloth napkins, always.  Tablecloths for special events.

 

This is pretty much what we do -- occasional soup first; all the platters/serving dishes on the table to be passed; salad last.  (We only have a dessert on Friday nights.  I guess technically a Friday night with soup would count as 4 courses!)  Always a tablecloth or placemats (this more to protect the table from my absentminded silverware-digging son, sigh);  usually cloth napkins.

[Ellie]

I am reading the book Home Comforts and am surprised at a LOT of what the author says about family meals. I already thought we were somewhat unusual for Americans in this century because we almost always have real, home-cooked dinners, with all or most family members, in the dining room. But now the author is talking about serving courses and I'm somewhat agog. Courses? For family meals?

 

There are other things that puzzle me here (i.e., we always load our plates buffet-style; i use tablecloths but I couldn't care less which one it is unless we have dinner guests, etc.), but dinner courses as a regular occurrence is quite foreign to me. Do people do this?

 

For family meals? No, although we always have cloth napkins (which I taught my dc to actually, you know, put in their laps and use), and when the dc were home, I put everything in serving bowls and we ate at the table. Today, with just Mr. Ellie and me, I will usually plate the food at the stove/oven and put it at our places. I think that even when it's just the two of us there should be some modicum of formality, lol.

 

Now, when I invite guests to my home for dinner, yes, there are courses. I almost never serve salad (which is not supposed to be the first course, anyway); instead it's usually soup, then the main course, then dessert. Sometimes, just for the heck of it, I also have us retire to the living room where I serve demitasse. :-) (No on in my family has ever even heard of demitasse, but I think it's fun, and it gives me another opportunity to use kewl dishes and whatnot).

[Guest]

I sort-of do courses. We almost always have a salad with dinner and it is always the first thing on the table. Everyone who choses to eat salad, typically eats it first, before the main course. Then the main course, then sometimes dessert.

 

There is never a table cloth here, I can't even find one to fit my very wide table. We use paper napkins which sit on the table in a napkin holder all the time. We are very casual.

 

The courses aren't to be formal, I never even thought of them as courses before. We just eat salad first. I usually set salad and the main course on the table before sitting down myself, but if the main course isn't ready at our normal dinner time, we go ahead and start the salad and then I get up to get the main course. I always get up and get dessert when everyone is finished with dinner - if there is dessert.

 

Having a 3 course meal is a common occurrence here, but it isn't fancy, formal, or even thought of as eating in courses.

How does that work, though? I'm genuinely curious. There's always a thing or two I'm fixing up at the last few minutes, so then, either everyone would have to eat the salad while I make mashed potatoes, or else everyone would be waiting for me to make the potatoes after they have finished the salad.

[SunnyDays]

I don't set the table, either.  I pile food on a plate for each kid and myself and stick a utensil on the plate.  Dh gets his own.  I have one kid who prefers to sit on the couch and eat (but doesn't do that during family dinners).  Dh has a habit of standing in the kitchen and grazing over pots until he is full.

 

We are one step short of barbarians here.  I am suddenly ashamed.

 

:LOL:

 

I'm dying at this, only because it's not too far off from our house most days.  Here's to, um, a *casual* home...  :cheers2:

[73349]

Courses--never, except that if there's dessert, it's separate. Salad is on the table all along, if that's part of the meal that night. I do sometimes give DS raw veggies while I am cooking if I know he's very hungry. I serve chicken soup and bread as a full dinner.

 

I usually make everything come out at the same time or can keep it hot for a couple of minutes while the rest finishes.

 

Tablecloths are for holidays, but we use cloth napkins every day.

[Carol in Cal.]

Either tablecloths OR placemats all the time.  I have a bunch of 1940's tablecloths that are bright and patterned, and usually use those, but I do have a lace one and a damask one--those are more for special occasions.  I would prefer cloth napkins but DH is grossed out by them so we use paper.  I like cloth for ecological reasons.

 

If we have appetizers or chips and dip we eat that first.  That is maybe once a month.

 

Also if I served a light soup that was not intended to be the main course, we would have that first, but I hardly ever do that unless we have company.

 

I serve bread or rolls, salad, veggie, meat, potatoes, casserole, or whatever else is on the docket all together.

 

Then we have dessert separately, not always in the same room but usually.  If we have company we take a break between dinner and dessert so I can make coffee and everyone can kick back, but if it's just the family we power right on through it and forget about the coffee.

 

 

[Mom22ns]

How does that work, though? I'm genuinely curious. There's always a thing or two I'm fixing up at the last few minutes, so then, either everyone would have to eat the salad while I make mashed potatoes, or else everyone would be waiting for me to make the potatoes after they have finished the salad.

 

I put the salad on the table while I'm finishing up those last things. My family typically straggles in a bit. They set the table, get drinks and sit down. Everyone starts eating salad and I join them, sometimes immediately, sometimes after they start. I have everything else on the table when I sit most of the time, so when anyone is finished with their salad, they help themselves to the main course. The only exception is if there is something in the oven that needed a few more minutes than I expected.

 

Does that answer the question? There usually aren't a lot of sides with our meals, so I don't have a lot of things going. We always have salad and a main dish. There may be bread or a second veggie, but that is about it, so I usually sit with everyone else. I only serve mashed potatoes to company :). Interestingly, while everyone else said they serve courses to company, I don't. Company is served family style and everything goes on the table at once (except dessert). I don't do appetizers or salad separately then. I guess I'm really backwards.

 

I think the reason we eat salad first is that we all typically eat a lot of salad (it is the main if not only side after all), not just a small portion that would fit neatly on the plate with whatever else we're eating. Also ds who is Autistic Spectrum had some significant food issues when he was little and salad dressing could never touch the rest of his food.  :lol:

[medawyn]

We eat at the dining room table most nights, placemats and cloth napkins but no tablecloth. My dining room table is made of reclaimed wood, purchased specifically to look nice and withstand small children. We serve family style for most meals.

 

Courses have always sort of boggled my mind. How does one do this and sit to enjoy the meal/conversation? I serve courses if we have company, but I usually serve the salad after the entree followed by dessert. For family dinners? I'm imagining myself serving a soup course, getting up from the table to finish the main course/sides, losing the child assigned to clear first course plates to the play room/restroom/whathaveyou and still not getting everything on the table and warm. This ends in aggravation. I can see salad or appetizer if I'm serving something casserole- esque, but that is only a fraction if the meals I prepare.

[medawyn]

BTW, dessert is not a course. It's mama's reward for making through the day with everyone alive and the house still standing. It is always served after dinner and sometimes after the small people are in bed. Shhhh....

[chocolatechip]

I have never understood courses. We simply don't serve enough foods to fill out a coursed meal. 

 

If we have soup, we have soup as the main course. With salad and maybe bread. If it's something Thai themed or something it might be served over rice.

 

If we have a casserole it's the main dish. 

 

For holiday dinners when we actually have more dishes, we still serve all at once. 

 

Sometimes we wait an hour or so before having dessert, but I don't really feel like that counts.