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Whereneverever
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Yes. It is one of my biggest pet peeves. Look, I get it. It gets boring for mom and the well kids to sit home, especially with multiple kids getting the same cold/virus a few days apart. Last time we were sick, it was ten days of being quarantined at home, simply because as soon as one would be well, the next one would get sick. It was hard. And long. And boring. But I would NEVER knowingly expose other people to our sick germs. And it makes me crazy when others do. 😡 And it's worse when they minimize things by saying that green snotty nose is because of allergies, or that hacking cough is because of ashma. Just keep your kids HOME!!! I am often on my own as DH works out of town. If each of my kids spends three days sick, that's NINE days/nights of me on nurse duty. And I better hope and pray *I* don't get sick, there IS no one else to help me. We've known people to do this and eventually we stopped getting together with them. 😒

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I can't think of anyone who regularly has sick kids.

 

I think usually sick kids are contagious before anyone knows they are sick.  So I don't blame anyone.  Now if I had a kid with known immunity issues, I'd expect people to be a little extra careful.  No snotty noses, wash your hands, etc.  But in general, unless they are feverish or recently puking or have a rash, I don't assume the parents deliberately exposed my kids to something bad.

 

I've been the mom who went out with a sick kid - but didn't realize it until it was too late.

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Since I send my kids to b&m school, there is a big penalty for staying home "sick."  Of course by the time you're puking you already infected everyone (and you probably caught it from school in the first place).  But you stay home, and then you get a huge pile of make-up work, and crap from the teacher about stuff she won't send home, and lower test scores because of the delay between studying and testing.

 

Meanwhile the teacher has caught it and stayed home 1 day with her 3 sick offspring, then came back to school carrying all of her family's germs.  Hmm.  Have to say that ethics are a bit fuzzy in this context.

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I can't think of anyone who regularly has sick kids.

 

I think usually sick kids are contagious before anyone knows they are sick.  So I don't blame anyone.  Now if I had a kid with known immunity issues, I'd expect people to be a little extra careful.  No snotty noses, wash your hands, etc.  But in general, unless they are feverish or recently puking or have a rash, I don't assume the parents deliberately exposed my kids to something bad.

 

I've been the mom who went out with a sick kid - but didn't realize it until it was too late.

 

Yeah, I don't know how many times I've been told that once symptoms show up, the contagious period is just about over.  And if antibiotics are prescribed?  Even if symptoms remain, kid is not contagious.

 

Then there are the kids with allergies.  Both mine have them.   It's a tough call if a kid is sneezing on rock climbing class day - is she sick or is it allergies?

 

Still, we stay home a lot, and cancel a lot if we are not sure, or if there is a fever. 

 

I try not to get annoyed at other people because I assume they are doing the best they can too. 

 

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Since I send my kids to b&m school, there is a big penalty for staying home "sick."  Of course by the time you're puking you already infected everyone (and you probably caught it from school in the first place).  But you stay home, and then you get a huge pile of make-up work, and crap from the teacher about stuff she won't send home, and lower test scores because of the delay between studying and testing.

 

Meanwhile the teacher has caught it and stayed home 1 day with her 3 sick offspring, then came back to school carrying all of her family's germs.  Hmm.  Have to say that ethics are a bit fuzzy in this context.

 

I get this and I think that's different because of the attached penalties. I'm feeling crabbier about voluntary social things. 

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Yes. This does not include the allergy cough and runny nose. We live in a high-allergy area, but it's usually pretty easy to tell the difference, and if parents stayed home for every sniffle and sneeze no one would ever go out. But it annoys me to see clearly ill kids out in public coughing and sneezing and snotting all over the place, especially when the parent acknowledges that the child "is sick but (she/he/sibling/mom) is so tired of being cooped up." Or "I hope he doesn't have pink eye." (GAH!!!!) 

 

Partly because it gets other kids sick. Partly because, DUH, ill kids need rest to recover.

 

And yes, my DUH is probably a tad unnecessarily judgemental. I know other parents' decisions about their own kids' needs and bodies is their own decision. But I firmly believe sick kids need rest. We stay home when my kids are ill in order to protect other kids AND my own little sickies. (Not so little, I guess. Stop growing! :p )

 

Cat

 

 

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Yes, it definitely annoys me. It is very rude.

 

Remember my birth sister? She showed up at the hospital when I had my 5 yr old. Then when she left, she called me to tell me her daughter, who was with her at the time, had strep. She had her daughter holding my newborn baby and everything. I was so mad.

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Yeah, I don't like it when people who know they are sick are out and about. Church seems to be the worst--do they feel obligated to go even if they are sick? But on the flip side, sometimes you just don't know you're sick yet. We were trying to figure out yesterday if dd was sick. She seemed tired but was still eating, could do school work, etc. She takes two classes at the public school--went to those. Then in trying to make a decision about whether she should go to soccer practice in the evening, she said, "Maybe I have a fever." Sure enough--101° fever. So she was probably contagious when at school and may have gotten someone else sick. But we just didn't know. Now that we know, she's staying home until fever is gone for 24 hours.

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Yes, it definitely annoys me. It is very rude.

 

Remember my birth sister? She showed up at the hospital when I had my 5 yr old. Then when she left, she called me to tell me her daughter, who was with her at the time, had strep. She had her daughter holding my newborn baby and everything. I was so mad.

Whoa.  Yep, I'd be livid.

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Partly because it gets other kids sick. Partly because, DUH, ill kids need rest to recover.

 

And yes, my DUH is probably a tad unnecessarily judgemental. I know other parents' decisions about their own kids' needs and bodies is their own decision. But I firmly believe sick kids need rest. We stay home when my kids are ill in order to protect other kids AND my own little sickies. (Not so little, I guess. Stop growing! :p )

 

Cat

 

I've had times when we've kept to our schedule (when not feverish, puking, or knowingly contagious) because I know it will be hard to get back into it if we just come to a screeching halt.

 

It works for my kids.  Other kids might do better taking a break.

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It bothers me when I go to the store and someone has their child in there and the child is coughing like crazy, has a runny nose, and is obviously ill ... I have a low immune system and really don't want to get sick... again.  I understand there are times you have to go to the store (obviously I do), but I do think if there is any way possible for them to go to the store without the sick child, it would be better... not only for me, but for the miserable child who has to put up with their mother shopping for a long period of time.

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Dd has a friend who's parents will let her go anywhere she wants when she is sick. Her mom will tell me things like, "Yes she was throwing up all day, but I let her come to gym this afternoon." or "Even though she still has a fever, she didn't want to miss this social gathering, so we let her come." 

 

Argh! Really? She is my dd's best friend and I love her and her mom too (believe it or not), but our whole family doesn't need to be sick because they didn't want their princess to miss out. 

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I've had times when we've kept to our schedule (when not feverish, puking, or knowingly contagious) because I know it will be hard to get back into it if we just come to a screeching halt.

 

It works for my kids.  Other kids might do better taking a break.

 

What I said doesn't really apply to your guidelines anyway, then. :) We like/need routine too, and try not to disrupt it. Even if my child is ill, we keep our home routine unless he is super sick and feels that he needs to be in bed.

 

I mean when a child is very obviously ill--feverish, "threw up this morning but seems fine now," wiping green snot all over their hands and then touching all of the books and surfaces at the library. I've seen too many kids at the library or at a gathering who are obviously not well and/or are probably contagious, but are out anyway. Sometimes the mom will even say that the child isn't well but they decided to go out anyway. That bothers me. (And I acknowledge that it's just my own personal opinion and try not to spill that onto others.)

 

It's not like I'm silently judging every parent whose kid has a cough in public. I do try to err on the side of giving the benefit of the doubt. :)

 

Cat

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I used to have a friend who was so lax in this area It really wound me up. She'd take out kids who were sick enough that they'd been puking and had the runs that day and didn't seem to care how unwell they were. And it's not like she'd just be going to the chemist or doctor she'd go to soft play, playgroups etc. 

 

Another facebook friend that I don't know too well is forever posting that her kids are sick and then spends the day posting pictures of them in coffee shops. It seems to be their normal hangout when the kids are ill enough to be off school. The kids seem to get ill a lot. 

 

 

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I would also note that a lot of moms are single and have no choice but to take sick kids out.  I'll never forget the day we all had colds, and it was raining, and we ran out of milk.  Ugh!  Another time we were on the verge of running out of diapers, but I could not get a decent parking spot in the blizzard, and I wasn't willing to drag my sick babies through that.  Luckily I figured something out before the last diaper was used.

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I would also note that a lot of moms are single and have no choice but to take sick kids out.  I'll never forget the day we all had colds, and it was raining, and we ran out of milk.  Ugh!  Another time we were on the verge of running out of diapers, but I could not get a decent parking spot in the blizzard, and I wasn't willing to drag my sick babies through that.  Luckily I figured something out before the last diaper was used.

 

 

OK. Again. I'm not talking about things like that. I'm talking voluntary social things. To be clear. 

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It drives me crazy when it is intentional. You can't blame someone who is contagious, but not yet showing symptoms. They don't know they are ill yet. What irks me is when someone brings a child that they know is ill to an optional event. And they try to justify it by saying that they couldn't disappoint the kid. Um, be a grown-up and keep your sick kid home. Sorry, this is one of my pet peeves.

(I am understanding about running a quick errand for necessities, but would expect the parent to be quick and take steps to limit exposure to others by not allowing children to be touching everything.)

 

 

OP, I am sorry that your kids are sick now. I hope the illness will run its course quickly and that you will escape it.

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My DD had a cold this week and I told her she would not be going to a certain activity she loved. She wasn't truly sick (no fever, not feeling too bad) but was probably contagious. She asked why, and I told her that it wouldn't be nice to risk giving the other kids her cold. She told me, "But B went and she was sick like me!" LOL!!! Thanks, B's parents. Now, almost all of my kids have it and I feel cruddy. My DD said that B told them she didn't feel good but had to go because her parents wanted her to. 

 

So, yeah, I'm pretty annoyed about it right now. 

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It annoys me. Even a cold is gross especially in kids too young to cover their mouths and practice good hygeine. It doesn't bother me as much when it's people old enough to wash their hands, cover their mouths and blow their noses on tissues, rather than wiping green goo on their hands and sleeves. I typically end up with a sinus infection from a cold, so that's where I am coming from.

 

With 6 people in the house, a 3 day cold can last a fairly long time when we take turns with it, And then we get into the weakened immune system stuff so we are more likely to catch another thing. Often, when we get the first cold, we have several rounds of illness for a few weeks.

 

Stomach bugs=we stay home for at least 24 hours with no puking or running to the bathroom.

 

Colds=we stay home until no fever, no consistent hacking cough (some throat clearing and mild coughing is okay), no consistent nose blowing,

 

Pinkeye=STAY HOME!

 

Flu=we Stay home till there's no fever and the child actually seems fairly normal.

 

Our family errs on the side of staying home a bit too long, especially when we had very small kids. We're not quite as conservative now, but we still are careful so we don't pick up something else before our immunity is back to full strength.

 

BTW..Sick people do have to get groceries and medicines, so I assume that stores are nasty. I use the sanitizing wipes and wash hands like crazy.

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My mil asked me if I could keep my nephew for her until his mom got off work because she (mil) forgot when she agreed to keep him that she had plans for the afternoon.  Why was nephew home from school?  Because he had thrown up during the night.  Um, no thank you.  I can't help someone else and get my own kids sick.  But, he only threw up because he's allergic to the water at his house.  Yeah, really, since when?  

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Ordinary colds are only ordinary to people who don't have pre-existing conditions.

 

Ordinary colds have put me in hospital. ( Obviously not the cold, but the infection that arrived as a result of the cold ).

 

The least people can do is let others know their child has a cold before arriving, so that anyone with pre-existing conditions can choose to absent themselves.

 

Agreed.

 

My husband and two kids have been sick recently.

 

My dd and husband had "wee little colds" according to the Dr while my son and I have major infections that required antibiotics and steroids and even then my Dr was threatening dh that if I didn't take it easy I would end up in the hospital.

 

A cold isn't a cold to everyone and frankly I would really like it if people kept their colds home.

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My mil asked me if I could keep my nephew for her until his mom got off work because she (mil) forgot when she agreed to keep him that she had plans for the afternoon.  Why was nephew home from school?  Because he had thrown up during the night.  Um, no thank you.  I can't help someone else and get my own kids sick.  But, he only threw up because he's allergic to the water at his house.  Yeah, really, since when?  

 

What?

 

What the heck?

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But even the vomiting thing... I mean, there are some kids who get carsick all the time. We know a kid with a condition that leads to vomiting regularly but is completely not contagious.

 

I know people have backpedaled a little, and obviously bringing feverish kids to see a newborn or someone who is known to be immunocompromised is really bad, but I feel like people are really judgey about this. It's cold season. If you go out, you're being exposed to germs whether you see a sick looking person or not. Whenever this issue comes up on this board, I always feel like people are immediately like, "PEOPLE ARE HORRIBLE!" but I really haven't seen that. You're probably hating on my kids with drippy winter noses.

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I do find it annoying. I feel sorry for the kids too, because the best thing for them is rest, most often. But I also know that any time I am out and about, especially when so many viral illness are going around, I am being exposed. I know I can protect myself some by frequent hand washing, not touching my nose, mouth and eyes, etc. But all those cooties are there whether I actually see someone sneezing or not. It's just risky being around people.

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I've been hyper-aware of others' health (from what I can see) this year, since Dh is going through chemo. I taught the preschool class last Sunday at church, then came home to see on FB that one of the kiddos was home puking after lunch. Great....

(I'm actually considering taking myself off the teaching roster, but I hate to leave the director in the lurch.)

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I've been hyper-aware of others' health (from what I can see) this year, since Dh is going through chemo. I taught the preschool class last Sunday at church, then came home to see on FB that one of the kiddos was home puking after lunch. Great....

(I'm actually considering taking myself off the teaching roster, but I hate to leave the director in the lurch.)

 

Unfortunately you might need to do that, I am sure they would understand the reason. :( I hope they can get someone else for the class.

 

:grouphug:  I hope the treatment is successful.

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Doesn't bother me, unless it's measles.  Just kidding...

 

Seriously, though, it doesn't really bother me.  Kids get sick, *shrug*,  then they recover and move on.  When I was a kid, I remember my friends and I running around the neighborhood with chicken pox, because we knew we were all gong to get it and so no one really bothered with "infection-control procedures".  So the ones who had mild cases went out and played, and the unlucky sicker ones lay in bed until they were well enough to go out and play.  What can I say?  Rural upstate NY in the 60s.  Damn, things have changed!  Now we have sanitizing wipes for our supermarket carts (which I never use and they just make me laugh considering my experience with Chicken pox).

 

ETA:  Really sick kids usually self-quarantine.  I mean, no one really feels like going anywhere with a 100+ fever and diarrhea, so they usually just hole up in the house on the couch anyway.

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I'm only judgey because I like to stay out of hospital. I don't 'hate on' the kids who are sick. That would be weird and nasty.

 

If people want to take their kids with colds out, fine. Just please, please tell me you're bringing your snuffly, coughing kid, so I can make the choice not to come with my kid.

 

I have to be out in the world with germs in places like buses and supermarkets. That can't be helped. But a little bit of consideration about social events isn't a lot to ask, kwim ?

 

But at what point is it okay to take a kid out with a cough? I mean, we know a family where the kids have asthma. When they get sick (often) they can stay mildly drippy and coughing for about a month. The asthmatic kids are like that probably 5-7 months out of the year, honestly. My boys are pretty healthy, but the average cold takes three weeks to fully recover (that's not opinion - that's just medical data). I just can't confine my kids for that long. They're not even contagious. They're most contagious before the symptoms show.

 

I know you have ongoing health issues. I don't know what one does about meeting the realistic needs of families to be able to carry on with life with colds and the needs of people who are extra susceptible. Ideally, if it's a small gathering or something and health issues are known, everyone can put cards on the table. I definitely ask before taking an even minorly sick kid to someone's house. In our circle everyone always says yes though.

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I don't like it, and it's easy to blame my kid's cold on the one kid we saw sneezing on the field trip, however, the odds that we caught that cold from someone else are extremely high. The only way to guarantee a minimized risk during cold and flu season is to keep yourself sequestered in your own home. We just can't see the germs and they can be on anything another human touched. You can blame the kid at the party all you want, but you may have caught the flu from your mailman.

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But at what point is it okay to take a kid out with a cough?

 

I don't think most folks are saying that kids with a cough should never go out in public. Just that obviously sick children shouldn't be taken to an optional social activity.

 

I like the public school guidelines as a good rule of thumb for optional social activities (not going to the grocery/doctor/unavoidable errand) :

 

No fever, vomiting, diarrhea in the past 24 hours. (Unless it can be explained by an allergic reaction, car sickness, etc.)

 

No new unexplained rash.

 

No persistent cough, especially accompanied by fever or sore throat. I think coughs and colds are kind of a judgment call, but if it's the first couple days of a miserable cold, and the activity is an optional social activity, then it would be best for the kid and the other participants if the sickie stays home.

 

And NO PINKEYE, for heaven's sake! (My pet peeve. I thought it was just a fluke the first time I heard it, but I've heard this a few times at various activities: "My mom says I might have pinkeye, but she's not sure." GAH.)

 

Cat

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I get it if you don't know your kid (or yourself) is sick and come to an event.  But if you have a fever, puking, diarrhea or really coughing and icky snotty, PLEASE stay home.   Drives me nuts to be standing there talking and a mom say "oh we were up all night puking but we didn't want to miss this".  :glare:

 

What is worse is sitting in your own home, minding your own business and friends stop by and after being here about 30 minutes or so they mention "yeah we have all had the stomach virus.  M started with it and it just went through us.  We started feeling better a little bit ago and wanted to get out :cursing:    Stay Home People

 

 

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