-

[AmyontheFarm]

Ask and let them know that you homeschool and could come in the morning instead of the evenings when there are a lot of other visitors on the floor.

[Reflections]

Let us know any updates.  My heart aches for you all!  :grouphug:

[lollie010]

Thinking of you and your family this morning. My prayers are with you.

[Melissa in Australia]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Angie in VA]

Hugs and prayers to all of you. I am hoping that you all can have a Christmas visit in his room.

 

This will shock some folks, but when my mother was dying, that last week, she turned to my father and said she was sorry she couldn't see their dog one more time. (Oh, here come the tears.) She was not well enough to be in a wheel chair and go outside to see him. So, we asked TPTB and were granted permission to bring that dog *into* her hospital room. TPTB asked us to do it on TG Day since less people (esp. admin types) would be there. We did. Mom died that night. (No, I don't think she waited to see the dog, but the Lord was gracious in that timing.)

 

Now, funny thing about that dog. Mom was in the hospital for the last 3 months of her life. The dog was so anxious during that time. He worried, nay, haunted Dad by whining and pacing when he came home from the hospital each night. The only way I can describe it is it was as if he was saying, "Where's Mom?"

 

So when we took the dog to her hospital room, he sniffed her up and down, nearly wagged his tail off, and then curled up on the floor next to her bed. He never whined or paced again. I know that dog sensed that death was near for her.

 

I often wonder who benefitted most from that visit: Mom, the dog, or Dad and me. For just a little while it made us all feel normal.

 

TG Day was such a sad, lonely day in that hospital. I hope someone will have compassion and let you all receive the good medicine of family time alone in your hubby's room! I am going to pray for that very thing. Following this thread for updates. (And going to get a tissue to wipe my eyes.)

 

And I hope I do not offend you by telling this story. Mom was near the end of her life. Your hubby is fighting cancer and I pray this is a distant memory when you all celebrate at home next Christmas!

[alisoncooks]

.

Edited July 27, 2022 by alisoncooks

[Truscifi]

:grouphug:  That's terrible. I hope you are able to get an exception for Christmas at least.

[jrn]

How terribly frustrating!  :grouphug:

[creekland]

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and experiences.   :wub:

 

I don't have any updates at the moment....but already the new policy is causing problems for our family.  We were told that DH would be getting an ultrasound on his blood clot yesterday -- so the girls & I did not go over for a visit (we didn't know when the ultrasound techs would come get him, etc, and he couldn't be taken to the lobby to visit with his schedule in limbo like that).  Now I find that no one ever came to get DH -- they plan on doing it "sometime" today.  Arghhhh!

 

On a positive note:  one nurse told DH that she thought -- now that he's finished his antibiotic and this round of in-patient chemo and isn't hooked up to anything at the moment -- that he might be allowed to get a pass to come home for a day or so.  We only live 20 min. away from the hospital.  But we're waiting on the results from the ultrasound because that'll likely determine what the doctors allow/decide to do.  (That same ultrasound that got pushed back a day.)  <_<

 

We haven't yet spoken to anyone about making an exception.  I expected DH to mention it to his doctors when they made their rounds, but he said he totally forgot about it (chemo fog).  

 

Again, many thanks to all who have commented and shared my frustration/sadness.

 

Thanks for the update.  I really, really, really hope all goes well!  Take care.   :grouphug:

[Tammyla]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug: I hope visiting can be worked out and pray for his healing.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Just saw this today.  Praying for you and your family.

[Mom-ninja.]

I am so sorry. It's an awful situation all around for you all. 

[readwithem]

 

 

I don't have any updates at the moment....but already the new policy is causing problems for our family.  We were told that DH would be getting an ultrasound on his blood clot yesterday -- so the girls & I did not go over for a visit (we didn't know when the ultrasound techs would come get him, etc, and he couldn't be taken to the lobby to visit with his schedule in limbo like that).  Now I find that no one ever came to get DH -- they plan on doing it "sometime" today.  Arghhhh!

 

Thanks for updating and more hugs to your family.  :grouphug:

 

I am so sad about this - I know hospitals get busy and there is a lot of bureaucracy but I hate that your family missed seeing your dh all day yesterday.

 

If they schedule him for something like this again - can you ask the nursing staff to either call or text you?  If you can't get a signal in the hospital, you could let the nurses know your exact location so somebody could come get you when they are ready for the procedure. 

 

Also you could let the nurses (or his tech) know that you want to speak to the doctors when they make their rounds, you could give them permission to call you no matter what time (they may think they make rounds too early to call).  Then you could broach the subject directly yourself with the docs and not have to rely on your dh in his chemo fog to remember.

 

Don't let the hospital's new policy keep your family from being together  :crying:

[Jasperstone]

Hugs and prayers to all of you. I am hoping that you all can have a Christmas visit in his room.

 

This will shock some folks, but when my mother was dying, that last week, she turned to my father and said she was sorry she couldn't see their dog one more time. (Oh, here come the tears.) She was not well enough to be in a wheel chair and go outside to see him. So, we asked TPTB and were granted permission to bring that dog *into* her hospital room. TPTB asked us to do it on TG Day since less people (esp. admin types) would be there. We did. Mom died that night. (No, I don't think she waited to see the dog, but the Lord was gracious in that timing.)

 

Now, funny thing about that dog. Mom was in the hospital for the last 3 months of her life. The dog was so anxious during that time. He worried, nay, haunted Dad by whining and pacing when he came home from the hospital each night. The only way I can describe it is it was as if he was saying, "Where's Mom?"

 

So when we took the dog to her hospital room, he sniffed her up and down, nearly wagged his tail off, and then curled up on the floor next to her bed. He never whined or paced again. I know that dog sensed that death was near for her.

 

I often wonder who benefitted most from that visit: Mom, the dog, or Dad and me. For just a little while it made us all feel normal.

 

TG Day was such a sad, lonely day in that hospital. I hope someone will have compassion and let you all receive the good medicine of family time alone in your hubby's room! I am going to pray for that very thing. Following this thread for updates. (And going to get a tissue to wipe my eyes.)

 

And I hope I do not offend you by telling this story. Mom was near the end of her life. Your hubby is fighting cancer and I pray this is a distant memory when you all celebrate at home next Christmas!

Awwww, this brought tears to my eyes. Sorry to hear the loss of your mom. :'(

 

So glad your mom and dog got to share some final moments.

[Jasperstone]

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and experiences. :wub:

 

I don't have any updates at the moment....but already the new policy is causing problems for our family. We were told that DH would be getting an ultrasound on his blood clot yesterday -- so the girls & I did not go over for a visit (we didn't know when the ultrasound techs would come get him, etc, and he couldn't be taken to the lobby to visit with his schedule in limbo like that). Now I find that no one ever came to get DH -- they plan on doing it "sometime" today. Arghhhh!

 

On a positive note: one nurse told DH that she thought -- now that he's finished his antibiotic and this round of in-patient chemo and isn't hooked up to anything at the moment -- that he might be allowed to get a pass to come home for a day or so. We only live 20 min. away from the hospital. But we're waiting on the results from the ultrasound because that'll likely determine what the doctors allow/decide to do. (That same ultrasound that got pushed back a day.) <_<

 

We haven't yet spoken to anyone about making an exception. I expected DH to mention it to his doctors when they made their rounds, but he said he totally forgot about it (chemo fog).

 

Again, many thanks to all who have commented and shared my frustration/sadness.

Praying he can go home for Christmas.

[alisoncooks]

.

Edited July 27, 2022 by alisoncooks

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I think you are being very wise not to move him. I'm going to pray so hard that a perfect setting for family Christmas time becomes available!

[prairiewindmomma]

Fwiw, in retrospect, some of the uncharacteristic anger I felt during dd's cancer treatment was grieving (of diagnosis, of uncertainty, etc). It was safer to feel angry than to fall apart because I was the one holding it all together.

 

At the time, though, I was super angry at incompetent people and bureaucracy.

[Murphy101]

Wow - I will offer tons of :grouphug: and prayers . I assume they won't make an exception for family (vs friends)? I'd be a lot angry too to be honest.

Me too. What a painful thing to mandate for all those people on those floors who won't get to see their kids for the holidays. No way, I'd risk having them down to the germ haven lobby. :(

[Murphy101]

Fwiw, in retrospect, some of the uncharacteristic anger I felt during dd's cancer treatment was grieving (of diagnosis, of uncertainty, etc). It was safer to feel angry than to fall apart because I was the one holding it all together.

 

At the time, though, I was super angry at incompetent people and bureaucracy.

Well of course. Anger is often just another expression of pain. (((Hugs)))

[QuirkyKapers]

I am keeping my fingers crossed that something will work out in your favor.  It certainly doesn't hurt to ask about an exception.  :grouphug:  :grouphug: :grouphug:  

[FaithManor]

The lobby sounds crazy to me! I mean everyone who has a loved one in surgery will be there waiting and countless support people. Any one of them is probably a big germ fest. I would think that if the children were masked and gloved they would be less risky than your husband being in the lobby!

 

I hope and pray you qualify for an exception.

[alisoncooks]

.

Edited July 27, 2022 by alisoncooks

[Murphy101]

Well, we've had the final word from several sources:

1. It's no longer even an option for DH to come home for Christmas (his platelet numbers aren't good).

2. No, the hospital cannot make an exception on the visitation policy, not even for Christmas Eve/Day.

 

So, I'm brainstorming for ways to make the best of a craptastic situation. Today, we're taking:

Portable DVD player + holiday movie

Cookies & snacks

Cozy blanket since we'll be on a lobby couch

One present for everyone to open

???

 

Trying to think what else I can do to make it feel more Christmas-y for him....?

Hmm. Okay. After being burnt on such similiar policies in various situations over the years...

 

I wonder if this is one of those things no can actually enforce and the majority are not going to comply with, thus making the rule followers feel screwed?

 

Just saying I've seen this happen so often that I don't even listen to these policies anymore bc when I did, I was the ONLY one who did and it really ticked me off that my family got to feel screwed for it. Does that make sense?

 

Honestly, it's a tightrope to walk between being right to be physically cautious about germs and yet being so very aware that morale really does affect health and it can be just as dangerous to ignore that for the sake of being aware of germs.

 

Idk what you should do, but I feel for you.

 

(((Hugs)))

[Murphy101]

Could you spend the day on skype together? Open laptop there, open laptop viewing the main room of attraction at home?

[speedmom4]

I am SO very sorry for you and your family. I pray that Chriatmas will end up being special for you all even under such difficult circumstances.

 

(((Hugs))) and prayers for you all.

 

Elise in NC

[Twigs]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Tammyla]

:grouphug: Prayers here for your family. :grouphug:

[alisoncooks]

.

Edited July 27, 2022 by alisoncooks

[Luckymama]

:grouphug:

[Joanne]

I am so sorry.

 

I do want to compliment you on the way you have been *family* during this very scary and stressful time.

[MeghansMom]

I am very sorry.

 

My mother had a heart attack in January. My father checked with the hospital and we were told that our daughter 11, could visit.

We get there and visit her and then when I complain about my mother not getting dinner two days in a row while the whole hall received their meals, with my mother in tears about how hungry she was they decided my daughter was a problem.  They moved her to a lower level and my daughter was able to visit with her. She helped her grandmother eat, kept her tucked in like a burrito, lifted her spirits.

 

Prayers for your family.

 

 

[jennynd]

I am so sorry,... But the same time think your hospital are trying really hard to keep everybody safe. You know the flu vaccine this year aren't working so great.

Wish you the best. Hugs, kisses and prayers for your family

[MarinesWife]

I so wish you could just be in his room.   Really is ridiculous.  Glad that you're getting to spend time together still.

[alisoncooks]

.

 

Edited July 27, 2022 by alisoncooks

[Angie in VA]

Well, we made it through Christmas Day with no major mishaps (and only one instance where I nearly went berserker on a ultrasound tech who was late for a scheduled ultrasound, and who then tried to take DH away for an hour to do it, right when the girls and I showed up at the hospital for our family time). Thankfully, DH was able to catch his main doctor in passing, who just went ahead and cancelled the ultrasound so we could have our time together.

 

We also were able to FaceTime DH in the morning so he could watch the girls open their presents. Not our best Christmas, but certainly one that we'll remember...

 

Fingers-crossed DH can be released soon! Again, thanks for all the words of support and encouragement.

 

(((Alison)))

 

I'm so glad he could forego the ultrasound. I'm glad Facetime worked in the morning and that you could visit him in person. Praying he's released soon and you can spoil him w/ family time at home!

[Reflections]

This whole experience has made me realize that I have got some anger management issues, LOL.

 

See, I think that in some instances, the Terminator had it correct:  Anger is more useful than despair.

 

Seriously, a little anger is going to get you through.  In some instances it's called "advocating for the patient".

 

:grouphug:

[AimeeM]

I so wish you could just be in his room.   Really is ridiculous.  Glad that you're getting to spend time together still.

I'm sure they are trying to keep everyone safe... but recommending mass visiting in the lobby seems pretty counterproductive, especially considering that their already-immune-compromised cancer patient will then bring back to his cancer ward every possible *yuck* from every hospital visitor who has mingled in the lobby that day.

 

OP, I'm so sorry.

[Eagle]

:grouphug: Hoping he can be released to go home soon.

[alisoncooks]

.

Edited July 27, 2022 by alisoncooks

[Twigs]

{{{Prayers and hugs}}}

[Cakes]

Hugs and prayers going up for your hubby and your family! 

[Luckymama]

Oh good Lord :grouphug:

[M&M]

((Hugs)) & Prayers

[Angie in VA]

Praying!

[Jennifer in MI]

Oh wow! I'm so sorry. I hope you are there with him now and you can get some good news finally.

[Guest submarines]

You and your family are in my thoughts.

[lovinmyboys]

I'm so sorry. I'll be praying.

[school17777]

praying

[happi duck]

(Hugs)