How do you support a child's dream that may not be attainable?

[A home for their hearts]

My dd15 wants to be an animator.  She says there isn't anything else she wants to do except maybe an illustrator if they animator thing doesn't work out.  I don't want her to go in debt for a career that may never happen.  How to I support her dream while helping her find another career that could support her while she chases after dream?

[hornblower]

Honestly, that sounds like a very promising field of work & if it's guided by a true passion, I'd support her 1000%.

Has she (or you) met any animators or checked out online profiles/portfolios? Have you checked out the local schools & their animation programs? Maybe attending an info night would help. This is a rapidly growing field & overlaps a fair bit with computer technologies, graphic design, game design, cinematography, theater arts, writing...   

(eta - sorry, my thoughts trailed off but what I was thinking about the overlaps is that you can in some way think of them as 'minors' and possible fields to branch into if necessary)

 

[Tess in the Burbs]

When I was a kid and wanted to know if Santa was real my dad never told me the answer.  Instead he helped me plan a trip to the North Pole.  I came to the conclusion on my own about the situation.  

 

When my son decided he wanted to be a Lego designer I did comment that I bet that was competitive.  We then learned more about the company and the designers they hire.  They live in another country, many speaking another language for their daily work interactions.  We discussed what he would need to do to get to the point he could apply for that job.  And who knows, maybe he can do it.  But at least now he knows the path and it's up to him to decide if he can do it.  I didn't say it's impossible. 

 

My dd got into gymnastics a few years back.  Of course she wanted to go to the Olympics.  She charted her path...she figured out there would be an Olympics when she was still young enough.  But then I had to point out it wasn't about getting to level 10.  She had to go elite.  And those kids were hand picked in the gym as to who would train for that and submit video to get the opportunities.  She and her friends all didn't care...they had goals to get there.  Dd figured out after a rough season with a lot of fears that she didn't have what it took and left gymnastics.  It was emotionally so hard.  But again, I never said no.  I told her if she wanted that goal here is the path to get there.  It was up to her.  

 

I think to be encouraging you need to chart her path.  Help her see the steps to get there.  If she's serious, she will do it.  And if not, let her discover something else she will still love on her own.  

[The Princess and the Jedi]

Support her! She is only 15. Her dream will grow and change as she grows and learns more about the world. Animation may become graphic design or art teacher or website designer or architect or some other career and an artist on the side. Our society is so visual, a person with well developed art skills will be in demand, especially when paired with a degree.

[The Princess and the Jedi]

And for your peace of mind, you can Google "careers for a degree in ___" to see the options available. I used to work at a high school and college recruiters often had a fact sheet with available careers for different degrees they had but you can probably find them online.

[klmama]

So many new aspects of the field may present themselves along the way that the dream at 15 may look very different than the dream at 20 or 25, KWIM? 

 

Also, FWIW, at my dc's community college the graphic arts department (which includes animation) has an excellent placement program. Most students are hired in their specific area of interest several months before graduation.  You may have a similar program near you. 

 

[Kalmia]

My son wants the very same thing. We are not discouraging him. Sure, he may never make a movie for Disney or Pixar, but animation counts as a tech career and is often paid as such. Video game developers need animators. Animators also make animations for commercials and advertisements (advertising is not going away lol!) and educational software and online educational content often make use of animation (this field will grow as textbooks disappear). And using social media, individuals have a much greater chance of selling their own creative animated movies directly to fans than ever before. Anime and "geek culture" is booming. I don't see this as more risky a career choice than other slightly uncommon paths. Sure it isn't doctor/lawyer/teacher secure, but those paths aren't for everyone. Of course, it is best if the student studies both the artistic side of animation and the programming side. That programming expertise is always in demand.

 

And a young woman from my old town interned with a motion capture animation studio (nowhere near Florida or California) in our area as a high school student. She got into animation school in Florida and landed a job with Pixar and got a credit on a major Pixar children's movie that she started working on immediately after graduation. Once in a while, it does happen. You just have to choose a school with an inside track to the studios.

[amsunshine]

This is a great article that I think you might enjoy about nurturing a child's aspirations.

[Lori D.]

How do you support your student? Through doing some career exploration together. :)

 

- Take some career interest tests.

- Go through some career exploration resources together.

- Research the fields of interest -- see what education/training is required, and what jobs are available.

 

Here are some past threads with info and resources on career exploration (from post #5 of the pinned thread at the top of the high school board, "Transcripts… College Prep/Applications… Career Exploration -- past threads linked here!"

 

Career Choosing, book suggestions
Can anyone recommend a career aptitude test?
Interest/career surveys? Need one for DS 19
Career interest surveys?

 

_____________________________________

 

Am I interpreting this correctly?

 

Sounds like you DD is interested in hand-drawn animation (also known as traditional or cel animation), rather than computer animation, since she also says her second choice would be illustrator. (Computer animator would have many of the "branch-off" jobs that Hornblower listed in the above post.)

 

Here is some information about those fields (what education it takes, what future job prospects look like, salary, related fields, etc.):

- Multi-Media Artists and Animators -- animator and related fields

- Craft and Fine Artists -- illustrator and related fields

 

Illustrators find work in MANY areas beyond pictures for children's books or fine art:

- advertising: ads, product art, book covers, art for computer games

- publishing: comic books, comic strips, humorists, book illustrations

- medicine/science: medical illustration, archeological illustration, biological (plant, animal human) illustration

- technical/informational: how to drawings, charts/graphs/diagrams, courtroom sketch artist

- graphic illustrator: customized art and graphics for t-shirts, postage stamps, greeting cards, 

- historical/documentary: military illustration, historical figures, museum artist

- sports: fitness instructional drawings

- product/fashion: art for fabrics, wall coverings, holidays, china, etc.

- entertainment: concept artist, storyboard artist

 

And here's more about animators: Wikipedia: Animation -- nice article on the different types of animation, and especially on how the traditional (hand-drawn) type scans images into computers for animating -- so "cross training" in computer animation would also be a very good idea if interested in working in the animation field.

 

 

As far as college costs: you might see if going to a community college (CC) reduces the cost of a degree and is a good fit for DD. Many CCs have solid programs in Art, with 2-year degrees -- either the AAS (Associate's of Applied Arts), which is the direct-to-work degree, or the AA (Associate's of Fine Arts), which is a transfer-degree -- allows the student to advance in their art while taking the "gen. ed." classes that will be required for a 4-year Bachelor's.

 

In addition, DD might be able to try out some classes now at the CC through dual enrollment, and start accruing credits towards college (and reduce time/cost of a degree later), or at the least, see if this is the field she really is interested in pursuing.

 

 

BEST of luck as the two of you explore career options! :) Warmest regards, Lori D.

[kirstenhill]

I'm just curious if anyone would change their answers to their kids based on obvious lack of talent in an area?  I will use myself as an example.  I am really, really bad at drawing despite trying to improve in it when I was a kid/teen.  I just don't have an eye or a talent for it.  If I would have decided as a kid/teen that I wanted to be a professional illustrator, I think it would have been a disservice for my parents to tell me that I might be able to pursue that dream if I just worked hard at it.  I don't think I could have succeeded in that field, and I might have wasted a lot of time trying that would have been better spent pursuing things I actually do have talent at. 

 

(ETA: Not saying this is the OP's situation...I was just thinking about unattainable dreams in general)

 

When my daughter was little (I am talking maybe 5 or 6), at one time she said "I want to be a professional ice skater when I grow up" -- and she wasn't even taking ice skating, nor did we have the time/money at the time to seriously pursue it. I think she had seen ice skating on TV, which gave her the idea.  I will admit to being the meany that said, ice skaters have to start very young, and our family doesn't want to pursue ice skating right now, so it is unlikely you will have the opportunity to be a professional in that area.   But I guess most areas of interest don't require starting at a young age like ice skating, so most careers, if a kid really wants to do it, they can still start when they are old enough to pursue it on their own.

 

On the other hand...when I was about 12 and very interested in computer programming, my mom told me, "Don't go into computers when you grow up...by the time you are an adult computers will program themselves so it won't be a good job."  :huh:  I wish I wouldn't have dropped my interested in learning to program at that time.  I am not sure it would have been a good career fit for me, but by the time I realized my mom's advice was bogus (as a college student), I had been out of trying to do it for so long, it seemed like a hard area to get started with again. 

[AimeeM]

I know I'll probably be killed for this on here... but we are absolutely honest with our children (well, our oldest right now) about which degrees we will support/help with, and those we will NOT. 

I do understand that people should go for their dreams, and I agree... to a point; however, I also know some really wonderful people, with advanced degrees in things like women's studies, psychology (think anything under a graduate + degree), literature, classical studies, political science, etc who are currently working for barely minimum wage at call centers, Starbucks, etc. 

We will not help financially with such degrees, unless certain stipulations are met. We WILL help if they double major, or take "passion classes" alongside a more practical degree path. 

I think it's important to help teenagers be realistic. I would be willing, for example, to hear out a plan for wanting a literature major if I knew that my child wanted to TEACH literature (because that is really the only practical field for someone with that degree, in this area, considering the number of public, private, and universities we have locally); I would hear out political science as an undergrad if I knew they were working (hard) towards law school or some other graduate studies where that undergrad degree would be helpful/applicable... but, honestly, those I know WITH these degrees do not want to teach, and they had/have no plans to ACTUALLY APPLY those degrees towards a CAREER. As in, when I ask them what type of job/career they were working towards, when they decided to obtain those degrees, by and large they cannot answer that - they wanted the degree because the field of study appealed to them, which is wonderful and admirable of course, but not... practical. Not in today's economy. 

 

ETA: I do consider animation to be something we would help with - if our child could articulate clear goals, and how they would reach them. I believe animation is considered a graphic art, and tech... right? That's pretty in demand these days. The types of classes they would need to get such a degree would probably be applicable in some other tech fields.

[MomatHWTK]

I'm encouraging my child to be an artist, it's her passion and she's good at it.  I see animator as the fall back position to make a living.  LOL

 

If she were obsessed with art but lack technical skill, I'd encourage her to stay in the field but in a non-performance role (i.e. historian, curator, etc.)

[EmseB]

I would encourage her, and look for ways to keep out of debt (or at least think of a maximum debt that is acceptable) while pursing her goal.  This might include planning out community college years, planning a work & savings plan by looking at costs of colleges she might want to transfer to, etc.  Say, "Okay, let's do this!" and then keep it realistic and plan, plan, plan so she understands the commitment and logistics necessary.

 

Starting out at a CC allows her plenty of time between now and when she would actually need to transfer, so if she finds her interests broaden or change, you wouldn't be commited to a huge debt at a four-year school with a very specific major.

[aggieamy]

I'm a very practical person.  To the point of being boring.  I'm also the type of person that believes in getting a practical job that can support you and is marketable.  My mother, grandfather, great-grandfather, and my DH are all engineers.  My dad is a computer programmer.  DD has strong math/science skills and we are already talking to her about different types of engineering that she could get into.  (We also own our own engineering company so we would be able to set DD up to be quiet successful in engineering.) That's my boring and practical background to give you an idea of where I am coming from with my opinion.

 

However - if DD had a strong passion for art/design/dance/music then I would encourage her to follow that.  I would also put a lot of effort into getting her the skills to be successful in doing that as a living.  In fields were it is very competitive you have to have a lot of drive and good business sense.  It's not enough to just be a good dancer and major in it at the local college.  You need a plan on what you want to do long term with it.  Not everyone is going to be on Broadway but maybe you can get there or maybe you can get some great gigs under your belt and start a dance studio.  

 

In my circle of friends the most successful person I know is an artist.  She's the oldest sister of my best friend growing up.  She is not only a great artist with a niche BUT she's also a helluva businesswoman.  

[redsquirrel]

If a six year old articulates a 'when I grow up I wanna" I just say "wow, sounds like fun!" I mean, whatever, right?

 

A 15 year old? Again, why not? Tell her it sounds interesting (it does!) and tell her to do some research.

 

My younger son has said he want to 'make movies' since he was about 3. Right now, at 9, he is director in a 'movie making club'. It is a club of a bunch of 13& 14 year olds and one 9 year old, lol. But he is director because he is the only one who knows what he is doing. He has taken books out of the library about making movies (written for kids), he took a class about movie making. He even knows what college he wants to attend because it has a film school. When it came time for the kids to pick their director there wasn't even an argument because it is so clear that it should be ds2. Will he be a film director? Probably not, the odds are long beyond reckoning. But he is willing to put in the work and at least learn about the job, so who am I to tell him no. And he is 9. It isn't going to hurt him.

 

So, tell her to look into it. Maybe there are some classes she can take locally to get a taste. A whole lot of kids want to be animators, but only the ones who keep working at it are going to succeed. And from what I can tell, animation these days has less to do with wrist to fingers drawing skills and also needs strong computer skills and visual ability. Yes, drawing is important, but so is creativity, storytelling and using heavy duty computer programs.

 

And who knows? From that research she might get there, or she might find something related that she didn't even consider.  a 15 year old has to start someplace. They have to think about the future and this is what it looks like. You say you are interested in something and you check it out. It's not a lifetime commitment, just a few months of checking something out. What is the big deal?

 

 

[Lori D.]

I'm just curious if anyone would change their answers to their kids based on obvious lack of talent in an area?  I will use myself as an example.  I am really, really bad at drawing despite trying to improve in it when I was a kid/teen.  I just don't have an eye or a talent for it.  If I would have decided as a kid/teen that I wanted to be a professional illustrator, I think it would have been a disservice for my parents to tell me that I might be able to pursue that dream if I just worked hard at it.  I don't think I could have succeeded in that field, and I might have wasted a lot of time trying that would have been better spent pursuing things I actually do have talent at. 

 

(ETA: Not saying this is the OP's situation...I was just thinking about unattainable dreams in general)

 

When my daughter was little (I am talking maybe 5 or 6), at one time she said "I want to be a professional ice skater when I grow up" -- and she wasn't even taking ice skating, nor did we have the time/money at the time to seriously pursue it. I think she had seen ice skating on TV, which gave her the idea.  I will admit to being the meany that said, ice skaters have to start very young, and our family doesn't want to pursue ice skating right now, so it is unlikely you will have the opportunity to be a professional in that area.   But I guess most areas of interest don't require starting at a young age like ice skating, so most careers, if a kid really wants to do it, they can still start when they are old enough to pursue it on their own.

 

On the other hand...when I was about 12 and very interested in computer programming, my mom told me, "Don't go into computers when you grow up...by the time you are an adult computers will program themselves so it won't be a good job."  :huh:  I wish I wouldn't have dropped my interested in learning to program at that time.  I am not sure it would have been a good career fit for me, but by the time I realized my mom's advice was bogus (as a college student), I had been out of trying to do it for so long, it seemed like a hard area to get started with again. 

 

:( Sad to hear you were discouraged from following the computer programming interest. Hopefully you have found a very fulfilling career and interests/activities since then and have felt like it is okay to let go of the computer programming dream for what you have now.

 

 

I agree with the previous posters who suggested parents encourage the student in a self-discovery process. (I see that as very different from the blanket statement, "If you just work hard enough at it you can do it." -- esp. if it is clear the student does not have aptitude for it.) A 15yo (or even a 12yo), can be encouraged to take classes in it to see if they really do like it. And teens are pretty quick to realize that they may not have what it takes, either talent-wise or perseverance-wise to make a specific career or interest goal happen.

 

If not, then that's when parents can step up the self-discovery process through career exploration, through having realistic talks about what it will take, through encouraging the student to talk candidly with the art teacher (or ice skating instructor) about what it would take to achieve xxx goal, and solicit the experienced instructor's honest opinion about whether or not they see the student as being able to achieve that goal or not.

 

That might be the time to have a talk about the difference between continuing with something as a hobby because you enjoy it (for you, that would have been the art you say you weren't good at), and finding a career field you are better suited for, and would also enjoy. That is about broadening the student's horizons -- "your art interest as a hobby, AND, a new thing that you are strong at and enjoy as a career…"

 

With a 5yo, I wouldn't worry too much about it. With your ice-skaing example, if the child kept talking about ice skating for several months, I'd see if we could do a parks & rec class or other short-term series of classes to let her enjoy skating, along with keeping up with a variety of other interesting activities. Often, a "taste" is enough to satisfy younger children. When DS#2 was about 12, he developed a big interest in fencing (NOT a cheap activity). But, we bought the minimum amount of equipment he needed (e-bay!) and got him into a series of classes. He enjoyed them, and actually was quite good at it, but he decided after that semester that he was done.

 

And there will be times when it is just not economically feasible for a family to support an interest. That's where the student's motivation has to come in -- How serious are they about it? Are they willing to work to pay for it themselves? Or trade labor for lessons? Are they finding ways on their own to develop the interest? As a parent, I would sit up and take note of that, and if the student continues to aggressively pursue the interest, then I would see it as a potential life-love rather than a passing fancy, and start looking for ways to financially encourage/support the student in the activity or dream.

 

Just my thoughts. :) Warmest regards, Lori D.

[Eagle]

When I was in university we had a project where we had to contact a company, learn about their management practices, and write a report of recommendations for change. Everyone else in my class did a report on either their parent's company or one that their parents' friends worked at. I cold-called a video game design company, got through the gatekeeper to a manager, and convinced them to let me do the report about their company. I got to interview the manager for each division as well as some of the staff. When I gave them the final report I noted that they were missing a key position which conveniently I had all the skills for. They hired me for a paid internship. I got to do video game testing, programming, animation -- all which seemed unattainable only months earlier. While I was there the company got bought by Disney and I ended up with a pretty impressive section on my resume and some amazing contacts that led to work after I completed my Masters degree.

 

If she has talent and a passion for the work, encourage her. Dreams don't always come true, but sometimes they do. And if you don't try then they definitely won't.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'd have no problem supporting that dream.  Whenever my kids tell me what they want to be and ask what I think, the thing I always say is to find a way to position yourself where you can be flexible and go in more than one direction while still having some focus on what you really want to do.  If she can't entirely support herself on illustrating, certainly she can use her skills to teach some classes in between illustrating gigs or along with the illustrating gigs.  That sort of thing. I also tell my kids to find out what the typical path is to reaching their desired goal and consider if they are willing to put in the necessarily effort and live with any typical uncertainty.

 

Illustrator isn't a crazy idea.  If she said she wanted to be the Queen of England...well then maybe she needs a reality check.  But not for illustrator. 

 

 

[Chava_Raizel]

I have run into this exact situation with my oldest - she is 15 and complete obsessed with all things anime. Her one and only career goal is to become a voice actress for Funimation. The only problem is that she has a very childlike high pitched voice that can often be hard to understand - mainly because she talks to fast and has a slight lisp that is exasperated by her speed talking. I have encouraged her to make youtube videos talking about anime, hoping to encourage her in working on her voice issues, but I just don't see this a career that will work for her. I've been gently encouraging her to research other potential jobs in the anime industry, but she isn't a particularly good artist (though she's working on it) and she can't imagine doing anything other than voice acting.

 

It can be hard to be honest without squashing her hopes and dreams. Because honestly, what do I know? Maybe there is a place for her in that industry. I just feel like she ought to have a back-up plan in case it doesn't pan out.

 

 

[Lori D.]

I have run into this exact situation with my oldest - she is 15 and complete obsessed with all things anime. Her one and only career goal is to become a voice actress for Funimation.

 

Here you go! Something DD can run with right now: I Want to Be A Voice Actor! A series of articles outlining what it takes and how to do it. Now the ball is in HER court, if she really is serious about pursuing it. ;)

[Tess in the Burbs]

I wouldn't change my answer even if the kid had no talent.  First, they will discover in time their talent is either as good or better or worse than others.  You don't have to tell them.  They will know.  Second, if they truly want to be good at something they can learn it.  There are lots of musicians out there that are good due to practice.  And some that are good b/c of natural ability.  Why can't someone try something...and made the decision when older if they are good enough to do it. It may take a college class for a professor to point out that their desire is greater than their ability. 

 

I loved science.  I got a Biology degree.  But I can assure you I had no ability in science...I worked hard to graduate.  I studied my butt off to get the Bs and Cs.  Others just got it all and made easy As with no studying.  I probably should have gone into something else.  But I loved it.  I graduated and ended up working in another field for awhile, then worked into medical stuff, but not the science fields I had studied in college you know??  I know NOW I wasn't really cut out for that.  But it was a good lesson to learn.  No regrets either.  

 

Encourage.  let them figure out on their own if they have what it takes.  

[Crimson Wife]

Animators with programming skills can make a VERY good living out here in the S.F. Bay Area. Major in computer science and do a double-major or minor in graphic design/art.

 

For a long time my oldest had her heart set on a career as a fashion designer. I was honest about design being extremely competitive but how there are good opportunities on the business end of fashion. My DH has a MBA classmate who makes big bucks working for Louis Vuitton or one of the other big French fashion houses. A double-major in fashion design and business marketing followed by a MBA opens up a lot more options than just studying design by itself.

 

Ironically, it was a fashion sketching class that turned DD off of the field. It was more work and a lot less glamor than I think she had imagined it would be.

[Twolittleboys]

I too would encourage her and really animation doesn't sound so far out there that I would have to work on being encouraging. Being a professional singer or an Olympic athlete (especially with a lack of talent) would be more difficult but even then you never know (and they will figure out soon enough if it is completely impossible). I wouldn't lie or give false encouragement - I would be honest about likely chances etc. but still I would definitely encourage my child.

 

I have a friend who is becoming quite successful in a VERY competitive field, definitely a field which I would probably have discouraged my child from. But clearly that would have been a mistake. Sure the chances are small but there are plenty of successful actors, musicians, price-winning scientists etc. and if they had all changed their career path due to the low chances it would have been a loss (well, depending on what one thinks of the artist in question of course).

[Harriet Vane]

Why wouldn't this career pan out?

 

The first step is for both of you to research. Talk to some actual illustrators and animators. While you're at it, talk to some graphic designers and commercial artists too.

 

There are lots of commercial jobs for someone who is willing to work hard in these fields. If she truly wants to pursue this, it will not be through a traditional liberal arts college. It will be through a well-regarded art school. Find out what it takes to put together a portfolio and get to work.

 

Also take some community college classes. There's nothing like real experience to fuel the flame of a genuine passion, or quietly quench an idea that sounded better than the reality.

 

Also she should know that it takes work to succeed in this field, just like in other fields. If she loves the process of creating art and is willing to put in the hours to learn it, practice it, and learn some support skills (computer and other), there is no reason why she should not succeed.

[NancyNellen]

Having lived in L.A. for some years, I personally know 3 or 4 animators who make decent livings. I don't think it is very far-fetched. We have one friend who has his own small animation studio and has worked on some of the big video games that have come out recently. He sometimes works very long hours against some tight deadlines, and they are far from rich, but he makes a comfortable living.

[Jane in NC]

There was a story on NPR a couple of years ago about the need at that time for people with artistic talent and computer skills to turn 2-D movies into 3-D films.  It was an unexpected job opportunity for some.

 

That to me is the moral of careers.  All of us know people who went into some field that was hot with loads of job prospects only to find that their career became obsolete or their career path (say a two year degree instead of a four) was lacking.  I think it is critical to follow passions but keep the doors and possibilities open by continued learning and growth.  I have met too many students who were mediocre in some discipline because they lacked passion.  I don't think parents can select a student's major for him. Parents can advise on wise financial choices regarding educational plans and have discussions on possibilities.

 

But here is the thing about homeschooling:  our kids can explore a discipline with an expert, taking on cool senior projects for example.  One of my son's contacts from his high school years helped him land a job after he finished college.  Networking never hurts!

[deerforest]

I work in high tech and have worked with loads of animators over the years. It's not just a job for a place like Disney. People in advertising, marketing, engineering, education, etc. all have real business needs for animators.

 

My DD (10) aspires to be in Cirque du Soleil. We don't live in a community with a large circus community (though the one we have is fabulously talented in both performance and teaching skills), and she's already outpaced all the kids classes. So, I have her enrolled in a series of private lessons, and I'm sending her to specialized circus camp next year. She has several performances each year, and I'd say she's at the top of her age group for our area. I have absolutely no idea how she compares to same aged kids who are enrolled in "real" circus schools. I have no idea if she'll ever make it to Cirque du Soleil.

 

But, I'm pretty confident that the money I'm spending is well spent. She has developed such confidence and strength, physical, emotional, mental, from participating in circus arts. Plus, she's made some great friends; finds herself blossoming into a role model for the younger kids and benefiting from the leadership of the older kids and adults. I really just hope that this ends up being a life-time activity for her. Perhaps she'll end up with a different career but still be able to fall-back on this for casual teaching opportunities, etc.

 

I guess my point is.. the skills you need to develop to become an animator could stick with your child for a lifetime even if it falls to the side as a hobby rather than a career focus.

 

I'm 100% in favor of supporting my child's passion as much as I can within the context of my family's available time and money resources.

 

(DD's other career choice is paleoanthropology! :-))

[Annie Anne]

 A friend of mine wanted to be an interior designer. Her father agreed to pay toward that education if she went through community college for an RN to support herself while she built a design career. She did and now does both.

[laughing lioness]

Oldest dd wanted to be a Cetacean Biologist. We did a lot of marine science studies, going to the ocean, etc. But when she was 14 I had her do an extensive research paper on what being a Cetacean Biologist meant. It meant a Ph.D., good test scores in math, long, extended stays on remote locations, etc. etc. She decided on her own that she didn't want to persue it. Oddly enough, it was the rather desolate field research that killed the dream for her. 

[momacacia]

I think it's wonderful these kids have dreams. At 15, you can start taking it seriously in the sense you can expect her to do some of the research on what it takes, and it could create some push and motivation to learn new skills that could be used in other areas, too.

 

The longer one lives, there is less and less wasted of the things one has learned or been exposed to--even at 15. And, I can say that because I'm getting older and older. :laugh:

[wintermom]

I really believe in supporting a passion or strong interest in a field. Support would be in helping the youth to:

 

- explore the options within the broader field,

- talk to people in the field,

- get work and/or volunteer experience in the field as early as possible,

- finding out what kind of education is required.

 

I had a passion to get a degree in kinesiology and also a love for foreign languages with an ultimate goal to work abroad. Most people I met, including my parents, were not very supportive and suggested other fields. I ignored them and pursued my passion. I discovered that there were way more options available in the working world than I ever would have known when I started my journey. I did achieve my goals and more, and I never regretted striving to reach my dreams. 

[Desert Strawberry]

Echoing what PPs have already said, we help them explore their options. 

 

When Sagg was little, he wanted to drive a monster truck.  :001_rolleyes: He was adamant for years. So, I took him to meet a monster truck driver, asked him what my little tyke needed to do to break into the business, and we let him know. Eventually he decided monster truck driving wasn't the path for him. 

Next he wanted to be a game animator. We went to an open house at an animation school in our city. There is an animation studio next door that recruits the tops students and supplies instructors. They put him on the computer with some programs and let him explore. We met the other students and viewed their projects. They promised him a spot in the class when he turned 13, and offered him access to the work sessions. I was super impressed, but he was only so so. Once he actually got some hands on, he wasn't into it. 

Now he's debating accounting vs finance. He's studying a LOT of math, economics is up next, and we've discussed interning at private firms and taking a tax preparer's training in a couple of years. We'll see how he feels about that when he gets there. 

Aries has only ever wanted to exactly one job. He wants to be a mechanic, though he isn't sure what he wants to specialize in. I took him to the automotive engineering lab at the university. The students showed him around, demoed all the gizmos for him, let him check out their class project-a go cart. He LOVED it. D went online, found the best mechanic training program in our region, and showed him the video. He's sold. We found out soon after that they are opening a training center in our city. In a year or two, I will bring him by and let him check it out, see what he thinks of it at that point. We have talked about him doing some gofer work when he's a little older, so he can see what it's like being in the shop all day with the guys who work there. Maybe he will stick with it, maybe he won't. We'll see. 

 

Whatever your kids want to do, all you can really do is support them and help them find a reasonable path to get there. For me, that includes some OJT and an entry-level position in the field to help pay their way through school. Neither of which D and I had, and which we both know would have been extremely beneficial to our careers. 

 

[Arctic Bunny]

Hey, that's what I wanted to be when I grew up! I wanted to do 3D computer animation. It wasn't a huge field back then, just beginning. I went to university, majoring in Fine Arts (Film and Video) in our small city. Before my third year, I was offered a job at a local TV affiliate doing graphics and animation, making a very good starting salary. While there I learned more: TV, computer video editing, print. I supported us while DH went to school. His career meant moving places with no TV (or need for graphics of any kind, on occasion, lol), and we decided together that I would be a SAHM, but over the years I've used that knowledge to freelance doing web design, print design, logo design, etc.

 

So you just never know....

[SeaConquest]

This thread made me think of this npr piece I heard the other day:

 

http://www.npr.org/2014/10/25/358358540/the-nbas-shortest-player-never-gave-up

[zarabellesmom]

I've read most of the responses here and I agree with a lot of them. My daughter excels at math and science. We are chemists and engineers in our little family. We encourage that stuff because we know about it and she excels. She is also a dancer and a doodler (with pretty good drawing skills for a nine year old I think). I frequently think of my neighbor who is almost brutally honest with her kids, but also affectionate and supportive. She told us that her daughter (a very talented dancer/actress) said she wanted a degree in theater. Her response, "So a dual major then?" I live in a practical world with real bills. I don't mind helping to finance a career that my daughter is passionate about that may work out. I also need to see that she has a more practical back up plan. Times are tough and not every dream pays off, but they shouldn't be squashed altogether.

[Farrar]

Ds wants to dance professionally. I don't see it happening, honestly, mostly because he does not have the natural flexibility. But I absolutely wouldn't discourage him. I pay for the lessons and love seeing him dance. He loves it.

 

On the other hand, I feel like I never got any practical advice about thinking strategically about a career and I really wish someone had helped me through that. I went off to college having zero goals or aspirations beyond "learn more stuff" and "be at college." That was a huge mistake and as such college was sort of a waste. Easy. Boring. Mostly pointless because I didn't choose a major or any classes beyond thinking, "That sounds interesting." So I do really want to give my kids that and help them think about back up plans and being practical.

 

I think you plan for your dreams but you don't pin your sense of self or being on it. There are only so many people who will be able to make a living at dance or animation or art or whatever. If you really love it, you study it, you do it, you try to merge your passion with your way to make money, but if that doesn't work out then you keep doing the thing you love and make your money another way and don't assume there's anything wrong with that.

[musicianmom]

*

Edited May 23, 2022 by musicianmom

[Haiku]

My dd says she wants to play in the NHL. There has never been a female NHL player, and if there ever is one, it won't be my dd, who will top out at about 5 feet and 100 pounds. It annoys the crap out of me when people say things like, "Well, you could be the first." No, she couldn't be. Still, I've never discouraged her. We just talk about the training required. She'll realize for herself soon enough.

 

Animator is a lot more likely than NHL player. My husband has a degree in Visual Communication Design and has done animating, among other things. There's no reason to believe your did couldn't be an animator.

[wintermom]

I think you plan for your dreams but you don't pin your sense of self or being on it. There are only so many people who will be able to make a living at dance or animation or art or whatever. If you really love it, you study it, you do it, you try to merge your passion with your way to make money, but if that doesn't work out then you keep doing the thing you love and make your money another way and don't assume there's anything wrong with that.

 

I agree. I don't think it ever hurts someone to work really hard (within healthy boundries) for something that they love. Even if they don't achieve one specific goal, the practical skills and life skills that they've learned can be beneficial in so many ways. As the saying goes, "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."

[wintermom]

My dd says she wants to play in the NHL. There has never been a female NHL player, and if there ever is one, it won't be my dd, who will top out at about 5 feet and 100 pounds. It annoys the crap out of me when people say things like, "Well, you could be the first." No, she couldn't be. Still, I've never discouraged her. We just talk about the training required. She'll realize for herself soon enough.

 

I'd probably also explore all the other areas of NHL or women's ice hockey that she could realistically be involved in as well. There is the health/fitness/injury aspect, media/announcing, promotion/marketing, coaching/managing/scouting, officiating, youth player development, Zamboni driver. Lots of possibilities. If she loves the game, there is always a way to be involved. My dh has an NHL Stanley Cup ring and he doesn't play hockey or even skate well. He's a stats guy and was involved with the scouting side of the winning team.

[madteaparty]

I guess I don't view my job as discouraging my kids because I think life will do that on its own. Unless we shield a little.
DH is convinced DS is an English type major who will collect languages and stamps on his passport. I cannot see an inclination yet and I resist the pigeonholing. On the other hand, in my internal monologue, I wonder: We will have to pay for his degrees no matter what as we do not qualify for any aid: It will be hard for me to shell 100K to have my kid publish one story every 10 years in magazine no one has heard of. On the other hand, what a sad world for all to be bankers and lawyers and engineers...

[Lori D.]

… There is the health/fitness/injury aspect, media/announcing, promotion/marketing, coaching/managing/scouting, officiating, youth player development, Zamboni driver. Lots of possibilities. If she loves the game, there is always a way to be involved...

 

This is what I also wanted to stress from my above post. Not every passion or dream has to end up as the career. Pursuing those interests through hobbies and volunteering and involvement in like-minded groups is also a wonderful thing to encourage in our children -- to be well-rounded, to keep alive the love of learning through a personal interest… :)

[Reefgazer]

I've got one of those kids.  I'm doing everything in my power to help her make it happen, while at the same time discussing the realities.  But what you do depends on the profession; my kid's desired profession is not even close to your child's, so I can't offer specifics. 

[Storygirl]

 I would be willing, for example, to hear out a plan for wanting a literature major if I knew that my child wanted to TEACH literature (because that is really the only practical field for someone with that degree, in this area, considering the number of public, private, and universities we have locally);

 

 

 

DH is convinced DS is an English type major who will collect languages and stamps on his passport. I cannot see an inclination yet and I resist the pigeonholing. On the other hand, in my internal monologue, I wonder: We will have to pay for his degrees no matter what as we do not qualify for any aid: It will be hard for me to shell 100K to have my kid publish one story every 10 years in magazine no one has heard of. On the other hand, what a sad world for all to be bankers and lawyers and engineers...

 

:(  These comments make me sad.

 

I feel I have to speak up for English majors everywhere. I have an undergraduate degree in literature and a master's degree in children's literature. I worked in publishing, managed a bookstore, worked in the young-adult and children's sections of our major metropolitan library, have used my editing and proofreading skills extensively in freelance and volunteer work, and, most importantly for my children, I use my degrees every day as I homeschool my children. Other than the homeschooling, none of that involved teaching (though at one point I considered that). I haven't published any stories, either (though I'd love to one day).

 

English majors are marketable for business careers of all kinds, and excellent writing skills are a good entry point for any advanced degree someone might want to pursue.

 

My sister has bachelor's and master's degrees in psychology and sports psychology and has been a high school and college basketball coach.

 

I'm guessing that others could chime in with similar ideas for career paths for any of the majors mentioned.

 

I do feel that it's a good idea to have a practical mindset, so that one graduates from college with some hirable skills and an idea of what kind of jobs to pursue. I'll encourage my children to have those kinds of plans. But I don't feel that I have to decide for them what careers to pursue or avoid.

 

If my parents had told me that I could not major in English.....well, it's just incomprehensible. It's what I was meant to do. I would have been devastated and lost if I had been denied the chance to explore my passions because they didn't fit into someone else's idea of what is acceptable. I get that parents are paying the bill and want to have some say. I'll give my kids guidance, for sure. But they have to be able to choose their own path. It's their life.

 

By the way, my oldest wants to be a classical ballet dancer. Even for the extremely talented (which she is), the odds of making a career of it are slim. I'm encouraging her.

 

People who pursue their passions and make successful careers out of it are blessed. People who give up on dreams without trying often end up feeling regretful (speaking from personal experience). I want my kids to pursue happiness as well as a paycheck.

[marynamo]

I am a big believer in supporting a passion or dream.

 

If someone has a passion for something and they might not be as good with it, they simply need to work on it. As an example a child saying they want to be an artist but never picks up a pencil or paint that simply won't work. You have to practise and grow.

 

Since your daughter wants to do animation, does she ever use programs like Pivot Animator, Sketch and Blender? These are all stepping stones in doing animations (computer animations) Blender is an excellent program, it teaches you everything from the 3D rendering (sculpting the objects) all the way through to working with the correct lighting, shadows, making objects move realistic and this even includes things like water etc. (These programs I mentioned are all free programs)

 

In my personal opinion working to just have a work is not a life, you need to have a passion and love for what you do.

 

 

[violamama]

I have a doctorate in viola performance. (It's vee-OH-la, by the way, not VIE-oh-la like my own grandpa always said it.) Let that sink in. Viola. It's totally a "would you like fries with that" degree if you're not careful. 

 

I was not a prodigy- in fact, I had deficits in music theory in particular as a freshman. If my parents had discouraged me, I probably would have chickened out from all those initial auditions, or from the crazy number of hours I had to practice as an undisciplined lower-classman. 

 

Here is what I will do with my kids (and it's similar to what I require of performance majors where I teach):

 

You must shadow at least 3 people who do the job you want. Follow up with an email requesting specific advice in terms of career path. What do you they wish they had done differently? What are the areas of knowledge they ended up using daily? What do they wish their teachers had told them? 

 

Shadow at least 3 more in auxiliary fields. For music performance, I also require them to research and volunteer with arts management. A lot of the less technical, more artsy careers are no longer just one job. For example, classical musicians teach, they produce their own chamber music series, they record and sell their own CDs or self-promote them to a label, they have side ensembles they administer. Some research done early on can help prime a student to be looking for connections. I have also had friends who ended up not physically able to be a professional musician. Several have successful careers in management and one is a sound/recording engineer. It's always good to have options. 

 

Another thing I plan to do with my kids is arrange for them to connect with other kids their age who are very good at whatever it is they want to be. So if my boys want to be musicians, I will have them attend summer festivals, play in youth symphony, generally know how they stack up with other musical kids. If they want to be scientists I will send them to whatever high level summer programs there are for that. I think that's important not because I want them to be taken down a notch but because they can see what's possible and figure out what it takes to get there themselves. With my own students I have seen them jump a level in both skill and commitment after a challenging camp or joining a serious group. 

 

I think all college freshman should be required to have an "interview the professionals" day. There's just no substitute for first-hand accounts and frank conversation.

[madteaparty]

:( These comments make me sad.

 

I feel I have to speak up for English majors everywhere. I have an undergraduate degree in literature and a master's degree in children's literature. I worked in publishing, managed a bookstore, worked in the young-adult and children's sections of our major metropolitan library, have used my editing and proofreading skills extensively in freelance and volunteer work, and, most importantly for my children, I use my degrees every day as I homeschool my children. Other than the homeschooling, none of that involved teaching (though at one point I considered that). I haven't published any stories, either (though I'd love to one day).

 

English majors are marketable for business careers of all kinds, and excellent writing skills are a good entry point for any advanced degree someone might want to pursue.

 

My sister has bachelor's and master's degrees in psychology and sports psychology and has been a high school and college basketball coach.

 

I'm guessing that others could chime in with similar ideas for career paths for any of the majors mentioned.

 

I do feel that it's a good idea to have a practical mindset, so that one graduates from college with some hirable skills and an idea of what kind of jobs to pursue. I'll encourage my children to have those kinds of plans. But I don't feel that I have to decide for them what careers to pursue or avoid.

 

If my parents had told me that I could not major in English.....well, it's just incomprehensible. It's what I was meant to do. I would have been devastated and lost if I had been denied the chance to explore my passions because they didn't fit into someone else's idea of what is acceptable. I get that parents are paying the bill and want to have some say. I'll give my kids guidance, for sure. But they have to be able to choose their own path. It's their life.

 

By the way, my oldest wants to be a classical ballet dancer. Even for the extremely talented (which she is), the odds of making a career of it are slim. I'm encouraging her.

 

People who pursue their passions and make successful careers out of it are blessed. People who give up on dreams without trying often end up feeling regretful (speaking from personal experience). I want my kids to pursue happiness as well as a paycheck.

I guess I don't understand why my post is making you sad, because I never said I would not support such an endeavor, it's just that I would have hesitations to spend 100k for it when everyone and their cat is taking creative writing classes in NYC now...I'd still fund it, but are we not allowed some hesitation?

[Guest kesdjmarouse]

Her dream will grow and change as she grows and learns more about the world.

[wintermom]

. 

 

[duckens]

Anecdotal story:
I had one employer who shared with me that when he wanted to change majors in college, his parents told him,"There's no future in that!!!"  But he changed from Math to Physics anyway, and today he is a Physics professor at an Ivy League school.   And (at the time I worked for him), he had the biggest project at CERN.  And he had a Nobel Prize (and was one of the youngest to ever win one in his field).  Not bad for an 8yo boy who would run away from school.

I guess you never know.

-------------------------------------------
I would move heaven and earth to help my child with an interest.  Some may not happen because of our limited financial resources, but that won't stop me from trying. 

Currently dd7 wants to be a Paleontologist.  This is a competitive field, and it requires a certain amount of luck.

Here's our plan:
1) Find opportunities to explore the field.
Finding fossils is a narrow field.  Geology is the "sister field" of Paleontology, so we are exploring that with
--geode hunting trips, and Loverboy has purchased a second-hand geode cracker that dd7 uses.

--fossil digging field trips

--rock polishing

--a variety of geology curriculum, as well as "dinosaur" curriculum.

The OP could expose her child to animation software and challenge her to make steadily more challenging videos.
--Scratch is the only animation software I've used.  It's usually for younger children, but it is a place to start.

--We have Anime Studio Pro on the shelf, but have not gotten to it yet.

--List of Animation software, but expensive!!!
--Post online and ask for others' experiencing with programming software.  Get the good, the bad, and the ugly.

 

Start with a one minute video of a cat walking, then running, then walking, then running.
Move up to a five minute video, possibly of an Aesop's fable.
Write and animate your own video.
Post them all on YouTube for comments and support.

2) Identify support skills
--For dd, this means
--Learning Chinese (because a lot of Paleontology is occurring in China at this time.

--Writing: for grants
--Designing and carrying out experiments of all sorts
--Geology, because geology is the sister science of Paleontology
--Camping, hiking, and other outdoors skills.  The fossils are not usually up the road from the local Hotel Intercontinental.
--GPS: to identify exact date and location of a fossil find
--Computers: so much of paleontology is mapping or computer models.

 

For the OP:
--Writing, Writing, Writing fiction that is very active.  I had one boss that had the opportunity to READ the script of Raiders of the Lost Ark before it came out.  (She worked in publishing in NYC).  She didn't think anything of it, but had free tickets to the premiere through work.  She and her date were BLOWN AWAY because that movie is so visual in its action. 

Don't wait for someone else to give you a project.  Write your own.  Think of the number of Hollywood stars that got their start by writing their own stuff: Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Sylvester Stallone, Mike White (who wrote School of Rock, and was the nerdy friend), Woody Allen, Spike Lee, Kevin Smith, and Tyler Perry.

 

--Computers: programming and use of ALL sorts on all types of software (not just animation).  Become an Excel pro, and make graphs.  Use Powerpoint, and put animation into it.  Program minecraft.

3) Find mentors
For dd:
--I've befriended the local Geology department head.   He says he wants to meet my daughter.  While there, we will ask,

When do you know you wanted to be a geologist? 

How did you get from there to here? (education, internships, mentors, projects, special skills)
What helped you the most?
What do you think young people (children) can do now to give them a good start in Geology?
What opportunities for deeper Geology learning are available for children dd's age, and in the years to come?
What pitfalls should young Geologists/Paleontologist avoid?
What were the most valuable  experiences on your journey?  Which were the most useless?  Which were the most challenging?
 

For OP:
Find animators and ask similar questions. 
 

4) Practical experience. 
--The day I met the high schooler  who worked in the DNA Sequencing Lab at our local university was the day I realized how much I needed to advocate for my (non-existent at the time) children.  I would have loved that job.  I wouldn't have to commute.  It probably paid better than I was being paid.  It was a good field with a good future.  And I was jealous.

"How did you get this job?"
"My dad told the department head that I needed a job, so he got me a job here."  :w00t:

I know that there are moral reasons for parents to not help their children this much, but the upside is too great.  I will be that parent who asks for a job for her teen.

--In college, get thee to thy advisor's office, and ask for a job in their research. 
It gives practical experience in the field of study.
You meet professionals and get exposed to new ideas.
You are surrounded by grad students, which puts one on a path for grad school.

 

5) College expenses.
First,  stay the %&$@  away from "for profit" colleges.  They lie about ties to Disney; they cost more than public education; their degrees are not worth as much as a bricks-and-mortar school, and their credits do not transfer.

 

We are saving for our daughters' college expenses.  However, we are a science family, so if our daughters want access to that money, they will have to write a GRANT.

--What are you planning to study?
--Why do you think you can be successful at this major?  (List past situations of practical and applicable experiences and training).
--Where?
--What will be the cost  (tuition, fees, books)?
--What will be extra expenses (housing, transportation, computer, extra class expenses beyond what is listed above)?
--What is your intended plan for course study (classes listed by semester)?
--What enrichment activities will support this goal (clubs, teams, school year employment, summer internship employment, volunteering)?
--What will you do with this degree?
--How much money will you earn with this degree?  What evidence do you have for that?
--How hard are you willing to work for this degree?  Are you willing to stay home and work on a Saturday night when your friends are out partying?  What is your level of passion?